If you and your partner plan to be together for a long time to come, you’ll surely want to find ways to stay close far into your future, and it doesn’t always mean getting physical with each other. If you can keep the spark alive, it can be rekindled into a flame of passion that can keep a long-term romance from becoming just a companionship.
Relationships are complex and dynamic, and while they bring happiness and joy, they can also become dull over time. Many couples struggle to keep the spark alive and feel stuck in a routine. However, it is essential to recognize the things that make a relationship dull and work on overcoming them to preserve the bond. Beint intimate with your partner can help fan that flame.
Why Does Intimacy With Your Partner Begin to Lose Its Luster?
Here are some reasons it takes hard work to keep you and your partner interested in romance.
1. A lack of communication
One of the primary reasons that relationships become dull is a lack of communication. Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship; without it, couples can feel distant and disconnected. It is essential to have open and honest conversations about your feelings, thoughts, and desires to keep the relationship exciting and fulfilling. By sharing your thoughts and feelings, you allow your partner to understand you better, which can strengthen your bond and bring you closer together.
2. You slip into a familiar routine–and get stuck!
Another reason that relationships can become dull is routine. Doing the same things day in and day out can make life feel monotonous, and it can be challenging to break free from this cycle. Couples who fall into this trap may feel bored and unfulfilled in their relationship. However, it is essential to remember that routine is not inherently wrong and can bring comfort and stability to your relationship. Finding ways to break up the monotony and try new things together is essential. Whether trying a new restaurant or taking a weekend trip to a nearby town, stepping outside your comfort zone can bring excitement back into your relationship.
3. You have few common interests
A lack of shared interests or hobbies can also make a relationship dull. It is essential to have things in common and enjoy doing activities together. Couples who do not share interests may find it challenging to spend quality time together and feel like they are drifting apart. However, this does not mean that you need to have identical interests. Instead, try to find activities you enjoy and schedule them regularly. Whether cooking, hiking, or playing board games, finding shared interests can strengthen your bond and bring you closer together.
4. You and your partner are not spontaneous by nature
Another thing that can make a relationship dull is a lack of spontaneity. When couples fall into a routine, they may lose the element of surprise and excitement that comes with spontaneity. It is important to be spontaneous and surprise your partner with unexpected gestures to keep the relationship fresh and exciting. Whether planning a surprise date night or leaving a love note stuck to the mirror, small acts of spontaneity can go a long way in keeping your relationship exciting.
5. You and your partner don’t appreciate each other
Lastly, taking your partner for granted can make a relationship dull–you no longer appreciate each other. Becoming complacent in a relationship is easy, especially after years of being together. However, it is essential to remember to show appreciation and gratitude for your partner regularly. Whether it is thanking them for cooking dinner or telling them how much you appreciate their support, showing gratitude can strengthen your bond and make your partner feel valued.
8 Ways To Be Intimate With Your Partner (without having sex)
Now that you know some of the reasons the luster begins to fade from your partnership, let’s look at the tips for restoring the shine.
1. Communication is intimacy
Researchers studying closeness in long-term relationships found that ‘disclosure about needs, wants, and desires may be an important way to promote sexual communal strength in ongoing relationships.’ Simply talking through what you like is a way to create a close, intimate bond with your partner and keep the spark alive in your relationship.
Ask open-ended questions about what your partner needs and wants to feel fulfilled in the relationship.
You don’t want to find out after a two-year relationship that your partner needed something that you weren’t giving them so they decided to leave.
2. Get good at guessing your partner’s emotions
Can you tell what your partner is feeling right now? By looking at his or her body language, facial expressions and tone of voice, as well as his or her words you should be able to tell. If your partner is not looking ‘joyful,’ consider it your job to make sure that you do your best to help change their expression to a positive one.
Empathy is something that emotionally sensitive people can give to their partner. Supporting your partner’s emotions, no matter what they are, and giving them a supportive place to express them is one of the best gifts you can give your partner.
3. Use all of your senses
If you can’t describe your partner’s scent, focus on your sense of smell the next time you spend close time together. Do the same thing for your sense of touch. Be present in the moment of your partner’s body existing next to yours in warm, intimate closeness.
4. Open up
Emotional openness is one way to keep the spark alive in your relationship. Honest communication builds trust between partners. When you trust your partner, you are more willing to open yourself to be vulnerable, which we are during intimacy.
Open up about what you are afraid your partner won’t like about you. Showing vulnerability can be very attractive.
Exploring the emotion of vulnerability is one way to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
5. Focus on the future together
Commitment means that you continue to have a shared goal of being happy together in the future, and knowing that your relationship is secure is very attractive. Security and trust is important in order for you to feel trusting enough to work to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
6. Come together
Create a communal bond with your partner by working toward something as a partnership. For example, you might work toward early retirement and a future travel goal with your lover. The shared destiny will keep you a united front moving forward together.
7. Share memories of your childhood
You might think you know your partner completely, but there are sure that you don’t know about each other’s past before you met or even way before that. Our early memories with our family are often the building blocks for how we see relationships.
These beliefs about closeness, love, trust, etc. are formed in our youth, and sharing these memories with your partner can be a bonding experience. How old were you when you first learned what sex was? What do you wish your parents did differently in their relationship?
Express gratitude for your partner’s past experiences that brought them into the right moment of your life. The same researchers who studied closeness in long-term relationships also say ‘expressing gratitude to a relationship partner promotes communal strength.’
8. Make new memories
Having more fun with your partner is the most fun way to keep the spark alive in your relationship. Think about what you both love doing and spend lots of time doing it.
In a study of traits that men and women found desirable, someone who was ‘personable’ aroused more passion in both men and women. Being ‘personable’ meant that participants rated the person they felt passion for as being ‘fun, responsive, trustworthy, and nice.’
You could try being all these things to your partner, but committing to having fun with your partner is one way to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
When was the last time you laughed together? No, I mean, REALLY laughed?
Positive people know there should be lots more laughing between lovers and that it’s the best contagious thing you can catch. Laughing is one perfectly acceptable display of affection.
Final Thoughts: Restoring Intimacy Can Mean You and Your Partner Both Renew the Relationship
Relationships can become dull for many reasons, but it is essential to recognize these issues and work to overcome them. By working through these tips, you can restore true emotional intimacy and strengthen the bonds of love.
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