Having sufficient confidence is often an internal struggle. Men are raised to believe they must be strong and assured, as it defines their masculinity. A guy who lacks self-confidence is seen as weak, inferior, or less than others.
While society puts these demands on men and women, the man with high esteem doesn’t put on a big show. He knows his actions will speak much louder than his words, so he lives by a certain standard. When a person lacks confidence, they’re insecure within themselves.
A guy who isn’t assured will constantly seek the approval of others to build any sense of self-worth. On the inside is where it counts the most, and the confident man understands his underlying value. He doesn’t have to prove his worth to everyone else, as he knows for himself.
NOTE: Women display a healthy self-confidence level in very different ways than men, so we address them in a companion article.
Ten Things That Self-Confident Men Aren’t Impressed By
Whether you’re looking for a friend or a lover, you should know that some behaviors are a big turn-off to the man who has confidence. If you want to get his attention, you should avoid trying to avoid the following things.
1. Self-Confident Men Avoid Creating a False Impression
Some people go into massive debt to impress others. For instance, they buy expensive cars and houses that are costly and try to obtain a certain status. However, a confident man can feel like a million bucks and live in a mobile home. He knows that making foolish choices in the hopes of impressing someone will only come back to bite in the end.
Creating a false impression isn’t showing people the real you. If you want to gain the attention of the confident man, you will learn to strip away the facades and stop trying to keep up with others.
2. Self-Confident Men Avoid Telling Little Lies
People like to make excuses because they don’t know how to be truthful. How many times have you been guilty of these telling small lies? For instance, your friend wants you to come to a party at their home.
You like your friend and want to go, but you have so many other obligations you’re exhausted. Rather than just telling the truth, you tell a little lie to say that you must work. People are always looking to push the blame onto someone or something else.
A confident man likes it when people shoot from the hip. They want folks in their life who are upfront and honest. They won’t spend time with you if you’re not honest with them.
A study by the University of Wisconsin examined how frequently people lie. The study evaluated the lives of 632 people over three months. During this period, they found that 75% of the participants lied 0-2 times each day. However, 6% of the study’s participants lied more frequently than average.
Sadly, there was 1% who got the researcher’s attention. These folks lied an average of 17 times each day. Another shocking realization from this study found that people are more apt to lie on the phone or through text than in person.
3. Being Afraid of Confrontation
Confidence means that you will stand up and fight for what’s right. Some people will avoid confrontation at all costs. Even if someone is taking advantage of them, they refuse to say anything.
They dread facing off with someone and having that confrontation. A self-confident man doesn’t like to fight and argue with folks, but they have no problem standing up for what’s right. If you do them wrong, they will tell you about it. They see people willing to stand up as having a strong backbone.
4. Self-Confident Men Do Not Hide Behind Screens
If you’ve been on social media sites, you know all about trolls. Many people find strength in hiding behind the scenes and bullying people. According to an article published by the University of Pittsburgh, they call them a cowardly group of angry individuals.
These people are known for their ability to ridicule children, teenagers, bereaved families, and minorities with ease. They further say it’s effortless for people to say hateful things because they have no relationship with the person. It will not make them lose sleep because they insulted someone else.
Men with confidence think you should say what you need to someone’s face. Only a coward would get on social media, email, or use other electronic methods to bash others verbally.
5. Trying to Do Everything Alone
There are times when everyone needs a little help. You’ve seen movies where men won’t ask for directions because it makes them feel weak or inferior. However, true confidence assures you that you don’t always have the answers. It’s okay to ask for help occasionally, especially if you’re overloaded.
6. Self-Confident Men Avoid Treating Others Poorly
A little bit of kindness can go a long way. Confidence means you don’t have to make yourself feel better by putting others down. Have you ever been to a restaurant with someone who treated the waitstaff poorly?
There’s nothing that shows poor character more than this behavior. It’s a hard job waiting tables, and dealing with the public is no picnic. Someone mean to these folks working and trying to make a living is appalling.
Men with confidence feel empathy for people who have such a hard job. They won’t hang around with those who like to put others down. It’s rude and shows a lack of manners.
7. Giving Into Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is all around you every day. There are times when you are encouraged by friends or relatives to do unscrupulous things. Having integrity and convictions means you won’t fold or bend just because everyone else is doing it.
The confidant man stands by his convictions, and you won’t persuade him otherwise. He respects and admires the same qualities in the women he dates and his friends.
8. Being Fearful of Change
Do you know that some people are paralyzed by the fear of what might happen to them? It’s normal to be anxious when you have a job interview, are going on a first date, or are short on money this month. However, someone who lives in fear lets it dominate their life.
For instance, assume you were offered a job in California that would double your income. Rather than being excited about such a prestigious offer, you think of all the things that could go wrong. Visions of earthquakes, forest fires, and landslides give you pause. When you play into these anxieties, they will only grow.
Soon, you will be thinking of traffic accidents and trying to drive on new roadways. Confident men don’t like to be around people with toxic negativity and continually fear doom and gloom. These poisonous thought patterns can rub off onto others, and confident men prefer to hang with optimistic people.
9. Self-Confident Men Do Not Jump to Conclusions
In life, you must give people the benefit of the doubt. You can’t always jump to conclusions or assume anything. How often have you thought something was one way, only to discover it was completely different?
For instance, assume your sister called you to discuss care for your mom. She was short with you and snappy with her tone. She hung up abruptly and seemed like she was mad at you, and of course, you were discussing money.
You didn’t call or see her for three weeks, as you thought you did something to upset her. Her kids made a huge mess on the floor, she had to rush and clean, and she was short because she was aggravated at them. It’s effortless to take something small and make it into a big deal.
Confident men don’t like people who jump to these rash conclusions. They would prefer you confront the situation and not harbor ill feelings over something that may not be how it appears.
10. Flashing Designer Name Brands
If you think that confident men will be impressed by your flashy brands, guess again. They don’t care if you’re wearing designer labels or something from your local big box retail store; they look at you as a person.
An old saying says you can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear, which means you can’t make yourself any better by fancy attire. Actual value comes from the inside. This man isn’t shallow and doesn’t just look at the exterior, so wearing expensive clothes isn’t going to impress him.
Final Thoughts on Impressing Self-Confident Men
Do you possess the strengths of confident men? You may be looking for a man who displays these qualities. These inner strengths give you confidence and allow you to project power without saying a word.
Having confidence means you don’t need to dress, talk, or act a certain way. You’re not interested in keeping up with others or putting on a show to be liked. Finding a man like this is a treasure, and if you’re lucky enough to have him as a partner or friend, you’re blessed.
