There is no such thing as the “One” perfect partner, but there are some out there that are perfect for you. There are a myriad number of ways to go about finding a partner these days. Work, church, dating sites and recreational activity groups are great places to start. But, you have to know what you are looking for and what to avoid. If you have had a few relationships in the past, you can start by looking at why those relationships failed and whether you tend to fall for the same type of person that ultimately never works out. Are you making the same mistakes over and over again? Take a hard look at who you are choosing and why, then do something different. Einstein said that doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result is the definition of insanity, and you might be doing the same thing in your relationships.
Here are six ways to find the right partner for you:
1. Avoid Mr. and Mrs. Wrong
The best partner for a fulfilling relationship is one who is warm, cooperative and emotionally stable. This might seem a little boring at first, but consider car crashes for a second. They are exciting, but would you want to be in one? Exciting times can be dangerous times. Do you want a long-lasting, productive and mutually beneficial relationship? Then, you need to look for the personality traits that will lead to that outcome. The highly attractive but moody artist might seem exciting and sexy until you have endured one of their violent mood swings. Dangerous, exciting and unpredictable might be thrilling, but it is also emotionally exhausting. You want someone who is going to fill your emotional cup, not drain it.
2. Find Someone You Can Talk To
Being able to talk with your partner about important topics is probably worth more than physical beauty, money or power. If you can’t open up with your partner and have them do the same, then you aren’t in a positive relationship. You might fight and bicker from time to time, but you are open and honest about what you are feeling and what you want out of life. There are no surprises for either of you.
3. Avoid Deal Breakers
You might want a family and they are adamantly against it. Maybe they smoke and you can’t stand smoking. There are some things that are just deal breakers, and you should stick to your guns. They may be perfectly acceptable in every other respect, but these things are important to you and will cause issues in the future. There will be recurring arguments and fights over these things, no matter how perfect the relationship is otherwise. There are plenty of people out there that possess the same qualities without the deal breakers, and you shouldn’t stop looking until you find that person.
4. Find Someone Who Makes You Laugh
Some say that laughter is the best medicine, but it is also the best relationship glue. There are going to be tough times, and someone who can take your mind off stressful or emotionally difficulties is worth their weight in gold. Find someone who makes you laugh just about every day. If they can make you laugh at silly or not so obvious things, then it means you are mentally on the same wavelength. It means you see things in a similar way and that your beliefs and desires are pretty similar. It also means they don’t take themselves too seriously and are more laid-back and forgiving.
5. Opposites Attract
This is an old cliché, but it is a cliché for a reason. If you are too similar, then the things that annoy you about yourself will only get reflected back and magnified by your partner. You will drive each other nuts. You will also tend to get bored if they are exactly like you. It is good to have different strengths and weaknesses than your partner. Try and look at it this way. A battery has two poles – a positive and a negative. It could not work if both were positive or both were negative. The positive and negative complement each other, which helps make a battery powerful. Relationships are the same way. Your strengths should complement your partner’s weaknesses and vice versa. This will make for a powerful bond and a productive relationship.
Related article: 10 Behaviors That Keep People From Finding A Relationship That Works
6. Don’t Rush
You are a couple of months into a new relationship and things are going great. You want to move in together and get hitched because you are madly in love. If this is true, then giving it some time to mature will only strengthen your bond, not weaken it. Take the time to get to know the person before rushing into a life-changing partnership. Good relationships, like scotch, only get better with age, whereas bad relationships can sour and turn to vinegar after a time. Find out which it is before jumping into anything permanent.
