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10 Reasons Women Leave Their Relationship (Even When They’re In Love)

February 2, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Love and romance are beautiful things. But in a long-term relationship, love alone isn’t enough to ensure a healthy, balanced, happy partnership. That’s why, sometimes, someone can be deeply in love but still choose to break up with their romantic partner.

It’s truly heartbreaking when this happens. What makes it even sadder is that, usually, the reasons behind a decision like this could have been prevented. These things are often subtle but alarmingly significant.

In many cases, it is these things that make all the difference between The One and someone who is just a temporary partner. Here are some reasons women leave their relationship, even when they’re in love.

10 Reasons Women Leave Their Relationship Even When They’re In Love

1. A lack of presence

When you’re in a relationship with someone, you want to be with them. You want to spend time with them. You want to take comfort in each other’s presence, enjoy meals and dates, and just be next to each other. But sometimes, a partner has every excuse for not being present enough.

They might spend all their time with friends.
They might work late nights 90% of the time.
Their free time may be entirely occupied with hobbies.

All that leaves their partner shoved in a corner, the bottom of their priority list – or, at least, nowhere near the top. The saddest part is that people who do this are often good people who are not acting this way out of malice.

Justice Schanfarber, a well-known marriage counselor, states that this happens to even the best of people. But those who do this take their girlfriend or wife for granted, which never bodes well for any relationship.

2. Feeling alone and unacknowledged

Everyone wants to feel like they matter, even just to the most important people in their lives. If a woman is alone without her partner to support her, she may wonder if she’s important at all to them and decide to move on.

This means that when the woman in your life talks about her problems, you shouldn’t dismiss them or tell her she needs to relax. When she discusses something she’s excited or passionate about, you shouldn’t just nod and look back at your phone in the next two seconds. When she talks about plans for the future or an idea she has, you shouldn’t dismiss it or say it’s ridiculous.

The loneliness that comes with being with a partner who refuses to participate in or acknowledge anything is painful. It can make a woman feel worthless – something she will one day realize she doesn’t deserve.

3. Insecurity

We all have moments of insecurity, and there’s nothing wrong with some dashes. Talking about insecurities with your partner is a great way to grow closer to each other. But when that insecurity overshadows everything in your relationship, it could push a woman to leave.

Insecurity breeds jealousy, and jealousy breeds controlling behavior. One day, she has to beg for your permission to spend a night out with the girls. The next, she’ll find her text messages, calls, and every action being monitored.

Everyone struggles with insecurity, but it is something that must be worked on.
It isn’t something that should be allowed to consume one’s every action.
If you find yourself feeling overly jealous or not trusting the woman in your life, question why that is.
Don’t treat her like she cannot be trusted just because you have some issues to work through.

4. The passion has died (especially in the bedroom)

Intimacy may not be a key factor in all relationships, but it definitely is in most of them. In fact, regular intimacy is crucial to positive relationship happiness and health in most allosexual relationships. But boring, routine intimate moments are no fun at all. It has to be passionate, at least to some degree!

Of course, intimacy must be consensual, so no one should force themselves to have intimate moments with their partner to keep them around. But a woman (and anyone else) is entitled to leave if they are not intimately satisfied in a relationship – and she just might.

Keep in mind that passion isn’t just about intimacy, though. It’s about a connection, it’s about togetherness, and it’s an assurance that a woman is still attractive in her partner’s eyes. Compliments, trying out new things together (both in and out of the bedroom), and having fun with each other are all areas of passion that may be accidentally ignored.

5. Comparisons

Nobody enjoys being compared to someone else – especially if it’s unfavorable. This is even worse when you do it to your partner, the person you should love and cherish above anyone else.

If a partner compares the woman in their life to anyone – to their ex, a random stranger, a family member, a friend, a colleague – they’re just asking for trouble. No one wants to feel like they’re in someone else’s shadow.

Constant comparisons can be so damaging on one’s self-esteem that they count as emotional abuse. A woman who is aware of her worth will not stand by and tolerate it for very long – and if she does, she’s become a victim of emotional manipulation and abuse.

Comparisons make anyone feel unappreciated, unattractive, unintelligent, and many other negative feelings. Generally, someone who makes it a habit to compare a girlfriend or wife to others isn’t worth dating.

6. Always giving, never receiving

Nowadays, women want an equal partner, someone who shares 50% of the load and gives as good as they get. A healthy relationship is a two-way street. No relationship in the world can function properly when one party always gives and the other always receives.

Back in the “old days,” women were expected to do all the chores while their husband worked hard to earn money. Today, it’s an even split. Both men and women are likely to work, and as such, both need a hand in household chores.

But this doesn’t just apply to housework. It applies to everything.

Does the woman in your life always have to be the one to take time off work for events?
Does she buy loads of gifts for you and rarely receive any?
Is she always giving intimately and not receiving nearly as often?
These imbalances are more than enough to make any woman leave their relationship, even when they’re in love.

7. Emotional unavailability

Emotional availability is often overlooked in relationships, but they are crucial to its longevity. Someone who steers away from emotional vulnerability and detaches themselves from everything around them is a cool movie trope archetype – but it doesn’t work in real life.

A woman wants her partner to be emotionally available. She wants to be aware of her partner’s wants and desires. If women feel like they’re dating a robot, there isn’t much point in them sticking around.

This is especially true if that woman’s significant other tends to be cold and uncaring. This can cause her to feel unappreciated and unimportant, as well as just plain uninteresting to her partner. At that point, her only option is to move on.

8. Lies, secrecy, and lack of communication

Anyone seeking to be in a long-term relationship should know that lies and secrecy need to be excluded from the table. Lying and secrecy can lead to tension and strain in any partnership, ruining a woman’s trust in her partner entirely.

Healthy relationships involve communication and honesty. Without these components, a romance is doomed to fail from the start. After all, what reason is there to keep so many secrets and tell so many lies? What does that person have to hide?

Some people make the mistake of lying to their partners to make them feel better. For example, they may lie and say the woman they are texting is an old friend, even when it’s an ex-girlfriend, to avoid their partner becoming upset even if there’s nothing fishy going on. Or, someone might pretend they are okay with something when they really aren’t.

Lies form a tangled web that you’re bound to get stuck in. Instead of telling these dangerous half-truths, opt for positive, open communication instead. A healthy relationship needs that to survive – if not, the woman is going to walk.

9. Immaturity

There’s nothing wrong with being young at heart. But immaturity can become dangerous. A woman may leave if her partner:

Has no life goals
Does not know what they want
Cannot prioritize practicality over random desires
Does not know how to save money
Cannot perform standard adult tasks
Is often very impulsive
Cannot be relied on at all

A woman – and anyone in a relationship – needs to be able to rely on their significant other. If there’s a chance that partner could quit their job and risk their future on a whim, the relationship might not feel safe for her.

If that partner is terrible at doing adult tasks, she may leave because she does not want to be a mother to her own partner. Or if that partner doesn’t know what they want at all, planning a future together becomes impossible. If that partner takes nothing seriously, they may not take the relationship seriously.

10. Change

Change is inevitable. Sometimes, sadly, it causes relationships to end – and this is the one thing you can’t do much about.

A woman may leave her relationship if she and her partner have become completely different people. She may no longer recognize the person she fell in love with. Or, she may no longer agree with his ideals, or her life may be heading in a different direction than his.

These are all common reasons a woman may leave someone she loves. Positive thinking can only get one so far before they realize that things are just not the same anymore.

Sometimes, change is for the best, and partners grow apart.
But if you’re seeking to avoid this happening, make sure communication is always open between you.
Discuss possible life changes, goals, or personality changes you see.
Couples can grow together – but they have to put in the effort.

Final Thoughts On Why Women Leave Their Relationship Even When They’re In Love

Sometimes, relationships don’t work out. Life goals may change, people may evolve, and ideals may clash. In those cases, the best one can do is hold their head high, practice positive thinking, and let themselves heal over time.

But in others, sometimes the one thing missing from the relationship is so easily filled and preventable, but something a partner does not take into consideration enough. The reasons we’ve listed are crucial from both members of a relationship to keep it healthy.

Whether you’re a man or a woman, and regardless of what gender your partner is, you are all entitled to respectful, compassionate treatment from your significant other. If your partner is making these 10 mistakes, communicate with them and work on bettering the relationship. If you’re the one making them, it’s time to step up your game!

10 Behaviors That Reveal You Are Smarter Than You Realize

February 2, 2019 by Power of Positivity

‘Intelligence” is a very sensitive topic. We could sum up the debate surrounding the idea of intelligence with one question. Can we truly measure intelligence by behaviors? The truth is, you might be smarter than you even realize.

As you know, the human brain is a remarkably complex organ. Experts state that the average brain has approximately 100 billion nerve cells (neurons). Each 100 billion neurons can communicate with tens of thousands of other brain cells. There are trillions of connections within the brain.

The brain is so complex that even the best and brightest neuroscientists can ascertain relatively little about it. Some have considered the brain the most complicated thing in the known universe. Yet, despite this complexity, few scientists and psychologists openly concede to the fallibility of intelligence testing.

This article will focus on behaviors thought to indicate high intelligence. Unsurprisingly, many behaviors linked to higher intelligence are frowned upon in our society today. We’ll also attempt, as best we can, to dispel some of the myths of intelligence.

Let’s get started!

What is intelligence?

Predictably, different people have varying ideas of what constitutes a person’s intellect. Given that neuroscience is an ever-expanding field, if there is such thing as an accurate description of intelligence, the latest neuroscientific research is probably the best – and most objective – place to find it.

Earlier theories of intelligence – posited from around the early-to-mid 20^th century, have been replaced by the idea that intelligence can be seen in most human endeavors. While the earlier theories of intelligence assumed a correlation between one type of intelligence and another, it now appears that most neuroscientists and neuropsychologists agree that there are multiple intelligences.

The Theory of multiple intelligence

Howard Gartner, a developmental psychologist and Harvard professor, put forth the theory of multiple intelligences. As the name of the theory he founded suggests, Gartner strongly rejects the notion of a single “general ability” or that one “type” of intelligence correlates with other types.

The Theory of multiple intelligences came from Dr. Garter in 1983 in his book entitled Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences. Gartner began his research with the question: “Is intelligence a single ‘thing’ or the byproduct of many unique intellectual constructs?”

Gartner cites his work with two distinct groups as the catalyst for his now-famous theory. Early in his career, Gartner worked with both stroke victims who suffered from aphasia, and with young children participating in a Harvard study. Gartner states:

“Both of the populations I was working with were clueing me into the same message: that the human mind is better thought of as a series of relatively separate faculties, with only loose and nonpredictable relations with one another, than as a single, all-purpose machine that performs steadily at a certain horsepower, independent of content and context.”

Gartner eventually came up with seven intelligences that satisfied his criteria – and were thus included in his theory:

bodily-kinesthetic (e.g. balance, hand/eye coordination)
interpersonal (e.g. social intelligence)
intrapersonal (e.g. introspection, self-control)
logical-mathematical (e.g. deductive reasoning, arithmetic)
musical-rhythmic (e.g. producing music, discerning musical elements)
verbal-linguistic (e.g. range of vocabulary, speaking and writing skills)
visual-spatial (e.g. remembering images and faces, map-reading)

Gartner later added naturalistic intelligence – knowledge and talent of the outside world – as one he would “probably add” if he could propose his theory again.

Behaviors that reveal intelligence

What made Gartner’s work unique was his progressive approach to the traditional field of psychometrics, specifically intelligence testing. In preparing for his research, Gartner seemingly knew what others at the time did not: different brain regions more strongly influence specific mental faculties than others. (These various parts of the brain are also responsible for certain aspects of behavior, which may help to explain the relationship.)

Here are 10 scientifically-backed behaviors that reveal you are smarter than you realize:

You’re a procrastinator

Intelligent often live in their heads, for better or for worse. There also appears a weak correlation between intelligence and less need for social validation (read: money). Let’s see … loves their own company, cares relatively little about money … hmm. Oh, and smarties don’t need to put forth as much effort to learn something. That really puts the icing on the cake!

You’re a crack up

Who says that eggheads don’t have a sense of humor? If a study coming out of the University of New Mexico is to be believed, smart folks are funnier than the average Joe. Published in the journal Intelligence, two researchers tested 400 university students – 200 men and 200 women – for abstract reasoning ability, verbal intelligence and “humor production ability (rated funniest of captions written for three cartoons).” Abstract reasoning and verbal intelligence predicted who wrote the funniest captions; the measures also strongly indicated “mating success.” (Hmm, wonder what that could be?)

You’re a cat owner

Forget the “crazy cat lady” stuff. According to a survey of 600 college students, those who identified as “cat lovers” – about 11 percent – reported traits linked to high intelligence. Dog lovers, however, are more outgoing, energetic, and rule-abiding.

You’re a night owl

Humans are a day-living (diurnal) species. Indeed, biology programs us to take advantage of the daylight (thought by evolutionary biologists to be due to our inability to perceive in the dark). However, unlike other mammalian species, we can override our circadian rhythm. In other words, we can choose to be a “night owl” – someone who prefers the evening hours.

Evolutionally, the “Savanna-IQ Interaction Hypothesis” posits that those with a higher level of intelligence are more likely to “acquire and espouse” behaviors and traits that contradict those of their species. In other words, night owls – who are a small minority of the population – are, quite probably, more intelligent than average.

You know what you don’t know

Einstein famously said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” To say that Al was being modest is an understatement. The point, however, is this: intelligent folk are less likely to let others know they’re smart. They’re more likely to underestimate their intelligence.

On the other hand, the Dunning-Kruger effect helps explain why *ahem* “dull” people do the opposite. Dunning-Kruger, a well-established cognitive bias, demonstrates the tendency of people with lower intelligence to brag about their smarts.

You have an insatiable curiosity

An active mind tends to be highly curious. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzi, a psychology professor at the University of London, labels this penchant for the novel ‘CQ,’ or curiosity quotient. According to Premuzi, those with high CQ tend to be more tolerant of uncertainty. They more willingly invest intellectual energy toward understanding ambiguity. Smarter people acquire more knowledge over time by keeping their brain engaged. Intellectual investment is a key component for increasing one’s baseline intelligence.

You’re a lover, not a fighter

Rather unsurprisingly, a propensity for physical altercations and violent behavior connects to lower intelligence. Criminologist Brie Diamond from the University of Texas at Dallas made an interesting discovery on this. Inmates with lower intelligence scores committed much more violence than the average and high-IQ inmates. The study, published in the journal Intelligence, concludes, “[These] current results provide support for the influence of intelligence in understanding violent prison misconduct.”

You’re rather untidy

Per a study published in Psychological Science, people who work in messier environments may produce more novel solutions than their neater counterparts. Kathleen Vohs and her colleagues at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota, conclude: “Prior work has found that a clean setting leads people to do good things: not engage in crime, not litter, and show more generosity. We found, however, that you can get really valuable outcomes from being in a messy setting.”

You’re a worrier

For some time now, psychologists have argued about whether intelligence links to anxiety or other mental health conditions. Some of the most recent research, published in Nature, found 599 previously undiscovered genes related to intelligence and neurotic behavior. Neuroticism is an umbrella term describing who experience more frequent episodes of anxiety and worry.

You have a twisted sense of humor

While co-workers may roll their eyes at your dark-themed jokes, researchers at the Medical University of Vienna say that you probably have a higher IQ. The 156-person study, published in the journal Cognitive Processing, led to authors to conclude that individuals with high verbal and nonverbal intelligence prefer a higher level of dark humor than those with average or below verbal and nonverbal intelligence. In other words, smarter people tend to gravitate to sarcasm.

10 Behaviors That Reveal You Are Smarter Than You Realize

February 2, 2019 by Power of Positivity

‘Intelligence” is a very sensitive topic. We could sum up the debate surrounding the idea of intelligence with one question. Can we truly measure intelligence by behaviors?

As you know, the human brain is a remarkably complex organ. Experts state that the average brain consists of approximately 100 billion nerve cells (neurons). Each 100 billion neurons can communicate with tens of thousands of other brain cells. There are trillions of connections within the brain.

Let’s get started!

What is intelligence?

The Theory of multiple intelligences

Gartner eventually came up with seven intelligences that satisfied his criteria – and were thus included in his theory:

bodily-kinesthetic (e.g. balance, hand/eye coordination)
interpersonal (e.g. social intelligence)
intrapersonal (e.g. introspection, self-control)
logical-mathematical (e.g. deductive reasoning, arithmetic)
musical-rhythmic (e.g. producing music, discerning musical elements)
verbal-linguistic (e.g. range of vocabulary, speaking and writing skills)
visual-spatial (e.g. remembering images and faces, map-reading)

Gartner later added naturalistic intelligence – knowledge and talent of the outside world – as one he would “probably add” if he could propose his theory again.

Behaviors that reveal intelligence

Here are 10 scientifically-backed behaviors that reveal you are smarter than you realize:

You’re a procrastinator

You’re a crack up

You’re a cat owner

You’re a night owl

You know what you don’t know

You have an insatiable curiosity

An active mind tends to be highly curious. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzi, a psychology professor at the University of London, labels this penchant for the novel ‘CQ,’ or curiosity quotient. According to Premuzi, those with high CQ tend to be more tolerant of uncertainty. They more willingly invest intellectual energy toward understanding ambiguity. As such, these individuals acquire more knowledge over time by keeping their brain engaged. Intellectual investment is a key component for increasing one’s baseline intelligence.

You’re a lover, not a fighter

You’re rather untidy

You’re a worrier

You have a twisted sense of humor

8 Phrases Manipulators Use Often to Conceal Themselves

February 2, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Manipulators are soul-sucking individuals who drain your energy – and threaten your mental health. Manipulative people think about one thing and one thing only: how to benefit themselves. They give little to no thought as to how their behavior affects others.

The act of manipulation is a tool used by predators of society – the narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths among us. Their goal is to establish and strengthen control over their victims. The most common type of manipulation used by such people is psychological/emotional manipulation.

Psychology Today says psychological manipulation involves “the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits and/or privileges at the victim’s expense.”

Using this definition, we will discuss the typical attributes of the manipulator, including how manipulators communicate. Part of this communication includes phrases that manipulators use to victimize. Finally, we will suggest practical ways to cope with a manipulative person.

“Controllers, abusers, and manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else.” – Darlene Oulmet

The Psychology of Manipulation

“Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through abusive, deceptive, or underhanded tactics.” – Wikipedia

Tactics used by manipulators are often abusive and exploitative. Regarding the former, manipulators will willingly breach someone’s personal space and use underhanded aggression (passive-aggressiveness) in an attempt to coax the person into doing something. Manipulators will exploit any number of a person’s personality traits if they believe it will serve them. People who are generally trustworthy and those with a high degree of timidity are often targets of manipulation, for example.

This underhanded aggressiveness and ruthlessness often distinguishes psychological manipulation from social influence. Although it might also involve manipulative underpinnings, social influence is more likely unintentional. Such is never the case with manipulation, which, by definition, requires intent.

George K. Simon, the author of numerous psychology books, cites the following as a basic framework for manipulators:

Hiding intentions by being affable and charming.
Understanding the psychological susceptibilities of a potential victim in deciding the methods of deception to use.
Having a certain degree of ruthlessness with no qualms about hurting the person if necessary.

Manipulative Behaviors and Techniques

After the manipulator has won over their victim, they will use a variety of behaviors and techniques to maintain and strengthen control. The “Big 5” of manipulative control methods include:

Positive reinforcement: Superficial expression of approval, praise, or sympathy; the giving of attention, gifts, money, etc.
Negative reinforcement: Stopping an expected negative outcome as a reward.
Intermittent reinforcement: Occasional positive reinforcement; often used to create confusion and doubt in the victim’s mind.
One-off traumatic learning: The use of unusually volatile intimidation through explosive anger or verbal abuse that is designed to establish dominance. The victim will may succumb to the manipulator’s demands out of fear of re-experiencing this event.
Punishment: Behaviors designed to hurt the victim, including emotional outbursts and verbal defamation. Examples of punishment include playing the victim by crying or guilt-tripping; intimidation, threats, swearing, and silent treatment.

Simon identifies the following tools and techniques commonly used by manipulators:

Creating confusion: Sewing seeds of doubt to create confusion in the victim’s mind.
Denial: Non-admittance of an offense clearly committed.
Evasion: Attempting to throw the victim “off the trail” by giving vague and confusing replies.
Fake anger: Feigned anger employed by the manipulator to get what they want.
Guilt-tripping: Creating a sense of anxiety and self-doubt in the victim through hurtful actions or remarks.
Lying: Either through withholding information (lying by omission) or overtly.
Minimization: Claiming that certain behavior was not mean to be harmful.
Projecting innocence: Claiming innocence regarding something that was purposely done to the victim.
Rationalization: Making excuses for improper behavior.
Selective attention (or inattention): Use of the silent treatment mixed in with occasional attentiveness; designed to establish or strengthen
Shaming: Inflicting a strong sense of doubt through put-downs and sarcastic remarks.
Vilification: Accusing the victim of abusive behavior to mask the manipulator’s aggressive intent.

Phrases Manipulators Use

You can occasionally spot a manipulator by the things that they say. (Be careful that you are not overgeneralizing, however. More on this later.) Manipulators tend to stick with tried and true methods, meaning they will repeat the same behaviors – in this case, the things they say – more than once. On this note, here are 8 phrases that manipulators use often:

“You don’t understand.”

The name of the game for the manipulator is confusion and evasion, as these permit them to continue in their ways. Part of sewing the seed of uncertainty – and keeping it planted – involves deceptive communication. Attempts by the victim to rationalize with the manipulator regarding their poisonous behavior is almost always brushed off with an evasive phrase like “You don’t understand.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

Oh, this one’s too precious! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Yes, a manipulator will “call someone out” for (not really) being dramatic. Remember that drama is the manipulator’s bread and butter. That’s because this dramatic event is the source of their power. Manipulators stage arguments, lie, fake cry (yes, they do!), and downright nail the role of a perpetual victim. Make no mistake: it’s probably not you that’s being dramatic. If you are, there’s probably a darn good reason.

“You’re being paranoid.”

Deception and evasion. Deception and evasion. Repeat. The claims of paranoia by the manipulative are nothing more than avoidance of responsibility. If the liar accuses you of being paranoid, it’s probably because you are right on their tracks. Stay there and don’t leave until they’re out of your life for good!

“I don’t want to argue.”

Yes, they do. And if they don’t, you must interrupt the cheat while brainstorming their next evil plan. (Good for you!) Step back and think about this for a second, okay? Here’s a person that has done little but create division and set the stage for heated conversation. What reason do they have not to want to argue? Here’s a reason: they don’t care whether you in fact argue. In their mind, they can always successfully throw it back in your face.

“You’re too sensitive.”

No, you’re not too sensitive. Well, scratch that. You may be too sensitive in the eyes of a manipulator, given that they have no empathy – at least not for their victims. If they did, they wouldn’t be telling you that you’re “too sensitive.” When you hear this, do us all a favor and find the heaviest object you can successfully heave across the distance separating you and them. Or better yet, get rid of the scandalous bottom feeder.

“You’re thinking too much.”

You probably are, but there’s likely a good reason. Usually, overthinking isn’t healthy. However, logical thought can be constructive when trying to decipher someone’s cryptic messages. As with number 3, “You are being paranoid,” when this person claims you’re thinking too much, it probably indicates that what you have to say is accurate and that they feel threatened by your conclusions.

“You always do this…”

When a manipulator utters these words, one of two things has happened: (1) your “stubbornness” got in the way of something they wanted, or (2) they are trying to sow the seeds of self-doubt and guilt. Exaggerations are a tool used when they want to sound like they know better than you. In all likelihood, “You always do this…” is their way of saying, “You are getting in the way of me doing what I want to do.”

“I didn’t say that…”

In case you don’t know by now, manipulators lie – a lot. Indeed, most of the words that come out of their twisted mouths are probably lies. It’s no surprise, then, that when you catch them in a lie they lie about lying. At a certain point, you must realize that this toxic character is an anchor that needs to be released!

Ten Ways to Deal with Manipulators

“Be grateful even for hardship, setbacks, and bad people. Dealing with such obstacles is an essential part of training in the art of peace.” – Morihei Ueshiba, founder of Aikido (source)

We’ll cut right to it. Manipulators are toxic people that shouldn’t be allowed in anyone’s life. Here are ten pieces of advice for avoiding or getting rid of them.

Acknowledge and appreciate your self-worth. You are the only person you’ll have forever. Think about that.
Don’t feel the need to offer reasons. They don’t deserve any.
If you lack a sense of purpose in life, get one. Nothing turns a manipulator off more than a self-directed, confident person.
Ignore them. Everything they do and say, ignore it. In fact, don’t even acknowledge them.
Stop rationalizing their behavior. You see what you see – and it’s wrong. End of story.
Find their weak point – whatever it is – and strike. Using their insecurities to hit back tells them you’re not one to be trifled with.
Learn how to say no. Manipulators love to ask for “favors.” Don’t give in.
Remember: loneliness isn’t that bad. We all go through periods of isolation, which can be hard. Just remember that such times are the best to work on you.
Stop caring what others think. This is just a good rule, period.
Get help. Last but certainly not least, don’t be afraid to seek help. If you feel threatened or abused, reach out to someone.

How to Make Turmeric Lemonade to Relieve Depression and Stress

February 2, 2019 by Power of Positivity

You may have heard of turmeric – a common cooking spice that emits a unique orangish hue. Something that you may not know about turmeric is that it’s an incredibly effective medicine. It cannot get any easier than mixing up a tall glass of turmeric lemonade.

What is turmeric?

Turmeric, or Curcuma longa/Curcuma domestica, is a plant found throughout India and Indonesia. It is close kin to ginger (you may have heard of it!) – another tremendously powerful spice with various medicinal properties.

Turmeric has been used for years in Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine as an antidote to many health conditions. Per the California College of Ayurveda, “few (medicinal plants) possess such a wide spectrum of qualities and medicinal uses as turmeric.”

The College goes on to list conditions for which turmeric has proven useful: amenorrhea, anemia, arthritis, atherosclerosis, cancer, Alzheimer’s Disease, bronchitis, bursitis, common cold, conjunctivitis, diabetes, diarrhea, edema, fever, gallstones, headaches, hemorrhoids, ingestion, inflammation, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), liver disease, multiple sclerosis, HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases (e.g. hepatitis C, genital herpes), urinary tract infections, and others.

Some claims are rather empty and devoid of substantial evidence. Fortunately, there is an abundance of research that appears to show the health benefits of turmeric and curcumin. For example, multiple research studies affirm the potential role of turmeric/curcumin to help ease arthritis symptoms:

A 2006 study “showed turmeric was more effective” in preventing joint inflammation than reducing joint inflammation.
A 2010 study cites a turmeric product, Meriva, helped “(provide) long-term improvement in pain and function in 100 patients with knee (osteoarthritis).”
A 2012 pilot study concludes that a curcumin product, “BCM-95,” reduces pain and swelling symptoms associated with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) better than non-steroidal inflammatory drugs (NSAIDS).

While most research has focused more on the physical health benefits of turmeric, we shouldn’t ignore evidence suggesting that turmeric can aid cognition and mental health. On this note, we will talk a bit about how turmeric – and its magic ingredient, curcumin – can boost the mood by helping relieve depression and stress.

The anti-inflammatory effects of turmeric

Of all its beneficial health properties, turmeric and curcumin are best known for reducing inflammation. Inflammation can drastically and adversely impact cognition and everyday thinking – more on this later.

Numerous studies suggest that curcumin – when used in highly bioavailable forms (e.g. nanocurcumin) – can powerfully counter the inflammatory response. Curcumin is a polyphenol, a well-researched class of organic chemicals known for their physiological benefits, particularly for reducing inflammation markers.

Researchers, in a 9-study meta-analysis of the effect of curcumin on knee osteoarthritis (OA) patients, the authors conclude that “it is possible to investigate a synergistic effect between curcumin and other OA treatments.” In other words, the therapeutic effects of curcumin are significant enough to consider it as a complementary treatment for osteoarthritis – an arthritic condition that affects upwards of 630 million people worldwide. Of course, osteoarthritis is in part defined by high levels of inflammation in the body.

Inflammation, Depression, and the Brain

Medical experts know that inflammation negatively affects brain function. Robert J. Hedaya, MD, a psychiatrist and clinical professor of psychiatry at the Georgetown University Medical Center, explains the cumulative negative effects of systematic inflammation on the brain:

Inflammation affects hormones and other neurotransmitters in your brain (and) drives down the level of serotonin, which can lead to feelings of depression or anxiety, and problems with memory. (Inflammation) causes dopamine levels to rise, which contributes to insomnia, and feelings of anxiety and agitation. The excitatory neurotransmitter, glutamine, goes up … Over time or with excessive levels of glutamate, anxiety can result.

This is academic-talk for the real point that Dr. Hedaya is trying to make: inflammation messes with your brain. Therefore, inflammation can mess with both your cognition and mental health.

We know that alterations to brain chemistry can affect cognition, whether one fits the diagnostic criteria for anxiety and depression. Dr. Hedaya states that the diminishing serotonin levels brought about by inflammation can affect memory and, therefore, learning. Indeed, interruptions to one’s memory capacity can negatively affect just about any aspect of one’s life.

Per a widely consumed 2010 study published in the journal Immunology, “chronic immune activation” (read: long-term inflammation) is a “common feature of neurodegenerative diseases – as well as infections, immune-mediated disorders, ischemia (poor blood circulation often affecting the major organs, such as the heart), and trauma.

Well-known neurodegenerative diseases include Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s Disease.) Other common neurodegenerative disease includes frontotemporal dementia, Lewy body dementia, Huntington disease, and prion diseases.

Curcumin and Depression

“Curcumin’s positive antidepressant and anti-anxiety effects are likely due to its ability to normalize specific physiological pathways. It appears to elevate neurotransmitters such as serotonin while lowering stress hormones.” – Adrian Lopesti, Ph.D., Murdoch University (source)

We have already mentioned the effects of inflammation on the brain. Besides damaging learning and memory capacity, inflammation of the nervous system may lead to the development of anxiety and depression. Given the potent anti-inflammatory effects of curcumin, scientists posit that the substance may be useful in reducing said symptoms.

In a 2017 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Directors Association, researchers performed a metanalysis of six clinical trials totaling 377 patients. Compared to a placebo (“sugar pill”), curcumin reduced subjective depression symptoms by 35 percent. The research team noted “significant anti-anxiety effects” in three of the studies.

Physiologically, curcumin appears to act on the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine. In a 2018 study published in the journal Applied Biochemistry and Biotechnology, a research team found that the administration of nano curcumin – a more bioavailable form of curcumin – restored serotonin and dopamine levels in rats.

The team also notes a “significant increase” in alpha, beta-1, beta-2, and theta brain waves in just seven days. Alpha waves typically mean a relaxed, aware mindset; beta, an awake, active mindset; and theta, a brain wave pattern often seen in sleep and deep meditation. Clinical depression tends to reduce the frequency at which the brain experiences the three-wave patterns.

How to Make a Delicious Turmeric Lemonade that Relieves Stress and Anxiety

So, now you know the actions of curcumin on the brain. The next logical step is to see for yourself! Here’s a delicious turmeric lemonade recipe to help wash away that stress and anxiety!

The grocery list:

5 cups of water
4 tablespoons of freshly ground turmeric root
3 tablespoons of honey (raw preferred)
2 teaspoons of grated ginger
½ cup of fresh lemon juice
½ cup of orange juice

Here’s how to make the turmeric lemonade:

Boil the water.
Place the ground turmeric root and grated ginger into a glass jar (or another container capable of holding hot water.)
Pour the hot water into the jar.
Allow the mixture to steep for ten minutes.
Pour the honey into the jar and stir until dissolved.
Strain the mixture.
Add the lemon juice.
Allow the liquid to cool.
Add O.J. if you’d like.
Sit back, sip, and enjoy!

Final Thoughts: Curcumin Types and Getting Desired Results When You Drink Turmeric Lemonade

The health benefits of turmeric and curcumin are well-established, as you can see. No matter the variety of turmeric or curcumin you use, you’ll probably experience some good results.

That said, newer forms of curcumin are more highly bioavailable than that found in turmeric root. “Bioavailability” means the amount of a substance circulated by the blood following ingestion and provides a good measure of its effectiveness in treating what it says it will!

The bioavailability of nano curcumin is around 80 to 95 percent. Some estimate that this number is 40 times higher than “normal” curcumin – such as that acquired through turmeric root. Moreover, nano curcumin passes the blood-brain barrier, which allows the substance to influence brain function more directly.

The application of “nanotechnology-treated” curcumin is relatively new. However, many studies – including those listed above – have found health benefits sans the use of nano curcumin.

Ultimately, ensure that the food products you use are clean, fresh, and naturally sourced. If you opt for a turmeric or curcumin supplement, do a bit of research on the brain’s quality and reputation. If you consider turmeric lemonade for medical reasons, you’ll likely want to check with your doctor or health professional first!

10 Facts About The Human Body You Probably Never Knew

February 2, 2019 by Power of Positivity

The human body is a fascinating piece of work. It can be a positive medium and a wonderland, as that famous song goes, but it can also be a strange and disgusting mystery.

We have learned in school that the human body is composed of many cells that are vital to life and survival. We have also read in books that the human body’s physiology and anatomy have evolved.

Despite centuries of discoveries about the human anatomy, scientists, academics, and experts are still learning more surprises and interesting details about what we’re actually made of. Here are some facts about the human body that you might be surprised to learn.

10 Facts About The Human Body

1. Sometimes, a human body can have an extra rib.

About 1 in 500 humans have an extra rib, also known as the cervical rib or neck rib. This is located just slightly above the first rib and it’s usually an abnormality that has been in a person’s body since birth.

However, most cervical ribs are not medically risky or relevant. Some people don’t even present any symptoms of the abnormality until it is discovered during a routine test. In some cases, however, the ribs may cause pressure on the body – known as the thoracic outlet syndrome.

A person with this condition may sometimes feel neck pain, numbness, and swelling of the arms; the inability to move the arms and hands; and blood clots.
Physiotherapy and a massage may relieve the symptoms caused by having an extra rib.
Some people may also be advised to increase protection of their back and neck at work to limit the symptoms.

2. A hiccup is an inherited trait from human’s distant ancestor: the fish.

A study among respiratory experts from Canada, France, and Japan underscored that the hiccup is an inherited trait. Before humans evolved into what our bodies are today, the experts believed that our ancient ancestors from 350 million years ago used to swim in oceans to get to other places. They gulped air or water because they had gills and lungs. So, the hiccup was considered an evolutionary remnant after humans developed a more sophisticated lung and respiration motor system.

There are many ways to cure a hiccup but there’s no standard proof that one method can be effective over the other. At the very least, hiccups are just normally waited out and medical treatments are not necessary.

3. Heart attacks commonly happen on Mondays.

As strange as this may sound, the chances of having a heart attack on a Monday increase about 20 percent in men and 15 percent in women. Swedish experts found out about this after doing a seven-year study on over 156,000 hospitals of patients admitted for heart attack.

Apparently, many adults are physically vulnerable during Mondays because of the stress triggers that may arise after a long and relaxing weekend. The experts, however, also said that since many people indulge in alcohol during the weekend, the heart can give out in the next few days.

If you think you’re at a risk for heart attack, try to turn in early on a Sunday night so you don’t wake up rushing on a manic Monday.
Also, avoid packing your Mondays with meetings and other commitments.
Keep the day of your return to work more positive and relaxed so you can set a better pace for your activities for the rest of the week.

4. There’s a benefit to your appendix.

More than 300,000 people in the United States have undergone an appendectomy or a surgical procedure to have the appendix removed. It is a common procedure at many hospitals because experts have said before that this organ doesn’t have actual benefits.

According to the evolutionist Charles Darwin, the human appendix is a remnant of the human body’s plant-eating ancestor. It used to be necessary for survival millions of years ago but as man evolved, its function also diminished.

But recent studies say that the appendix may actually still have a positive purpose for the human body. It’s where good bacteria pool so that it can live safely and longer in the gut. This, in turn, protects your body against diarrhea and other illnesses.

5. The human eye has 140 megapixels resolution.

The most advanced digital cameras have 50 megapixels. The latest iPhone model boasts of just 12 megapixels. But the human eye apparently has 140 megapixels. It’s the most powerful “camera” to ever exist.

But the eyes, unlike digital cameras, have a lot of flaws.
You don’t usually see areas in high resolution with your eyes unless you focus on a small area to the center of your vision.
You also have blind spots in your retina.
So, the eyes won’t work the same as a camera lens that’s great at taking a snapshot.

Instead, the eyes use what they capture to store in your brain’s memory bank. The eyes collect clues from around you so that your brain can piece the details together to come up with the complete picture.

6. The right lung is shorter but wider than the left lung.

Elastic, spongy and soft, the lungs are structured like a tree inside the chest. It has a trunk and branches on both sides, but its right and left sides are not of equal sizes.

The right lung is actually shorter and wider than the left lung because it is squeezed next to the liver that is located under the ribcage. The left lung is not as wide as the right lung because it is next to the heart, which takes more space in the chest.

The right lung usually has three lobes of bronchus, while the left has only two. But when the bronchi branch out, regardless if it’s on the left or right, it can grow bigger than the main bronchus so you can easily breathe air.

7. The human DNA finds commonalities with the DNA of slugs or even bananas.

You’d be surprised to know that the human body is cousins with pretty much every creature on this planet. At least 98 percent of the human DNA closely resembles chimps. At least 70 percent of our DNA has similarities with slugs while 50 percent of our DNA can be comparable to bananas. Human DNA has also many things in common with bacteria. This is because millions of years ago, organisms in earth, including humans, came from one common plant ancestor.

Experts at Cambridge University have found gene similarities between plant, bacteria, and other microorganisms in a 2015 study. More than a decade ago, other experts also theorized just as much but their conclusions were dismissed by other academics and scientists.

With the latest findings, it seems scientists are now more open and accepting of this fact. Our human body contains DNA that may be present in creatures and living organisms that don’t resemble us at all. Experts have actually identified at least 128 foreign genes in a human body; more research has to be done to determine how the transfer and evolution happened and why some of these genes are no longer prominent in human development today.

8. The fingernails grow faster than the toenails.

Ever notice that it takes your toenails at least a month to grow, while you have to cut your fingernails every week because they grow so fast? The reason fingernails grow faster is that they are more exposed to sunlight. The fingernails get more natural nutrients, such as vitamin D, compared to the toenails, which are usually covered in shoes or socks.

If you also observe, some of your nails seem to grow longer and faster than the others. If your dominant hand is the right, the fingernails on this hand are healthier because they’re always stimulated.

9. The human mind tends to have weirder dreams for those with high IQ.

People with high IQ dream differently than average people. Scientists from the University of Rochester have discovered that intelligent people possess better visual perception so that they can be more discriminating when blocking out distractions while dreaming. Thus, they end up with more specific or vivid dreams. They also make use of their brain waves more efficiently so that their dreams are extraordinary and weird.

This isn’t to say, however, that you’re not intelligent if you don’t have crazy dreams or you don’t have positive memories of the dream you have. Most people forget the details of their dream as soon as they wake up. In other words, dreaming isn’t an accurate measure of intelligence or smartness. More than anything, it gives scientists better insights into people’s thought processes.

10. Your feet can “taste” garlic.

Garlic has a compound called allicin, which gives off its distinctive smell and flavor. However, the allicin will only be released if it’s crushed, cut, minced, or pounded, and not whole. The allicin can penetrate like water or oil so that when it’s rubbed on the skin or the soles of your feet, you’ll actually taste the garlic in your tongue.

Try this experiment from the American Chemical Society: put crushed garlic inside a plastic bag and wear this bag on your feet for about an hour.
Make sure to tie the plastic bag properly to contain the smell.
After an hour, you’ll not just feel the garlic in your taste buds; you’ll also smell the garlic coming from your feet.
This proves how, sometimes, people who love eating garlic have to shower or clean more than usual because the smell of garlic can definitely dissolve in their system that a faint odor may still linger in their body.

Final Thoughts On Facts About Human Body You Probably Never Knew

These are just a few strange facts about the human body. There are likely thousands more that will shock or stun you if you’ll read up on its mysteries. Some of these notions may still be myths waiting to be challenged or proven by experts in studies and experiments. Some may require more careful research.

However, it still doesn’t take away the fact that the human body is a miracle. Don’t you love and cherish your body more now that you know some of its origins and mysteries?

You’re a procrastinator

You’re a crack up

You’re a cat owner

You’re a night owl

You know what you don’t know

You have an insatiable curiosity

You’re a lover, not a fighter

You’re rather untidy

You’re a worrier

You have a twisted sense of humor

You’re a procrastinator

You’re a crack up

You’re a cat owner

You’re a night owl

You know what you don’t know

You have an insatiable curiosity

You’re a lover, not a fighter

You’re rather untidy

You’re a worrier

You have a twisted sense of humor

“You don’t understand.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“You’re being paranoid.”

“I don’t want to argue.”

“You’re too sensitive.”

“You’re thinking too much.”

“You always do this…”

“I didn’t say that…”

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Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

10 Reasons Women Leave Their Relationship Even When They’re In Love

1. A lack of presence

2. Feeling alone and unacknowledged

3. Insecurity

4. The passion has died (especially in the bedroom)

5. Comparisons

6. Always giving, never receiving

7. Emotional unavailability

8. Lies, secrecy, and lack of communication

9. Immaturity

10. Change

Final Thoughts On Why Women Leave Their Relationship Even When They’re In Love

What is intelligence?

The Theory of multiple intelligence

Gartner eventually came up with seven intelligences that satisfied his criteria – and were thus included in his theory:

Behaviors that reveal intelligence

Here are 10 scientifically-backed behaviors that reveal you are smarter than you realize:

You’re a procrastinator

You’re a crack up

You’re a cat owner

You’re a night owl

You know what you don’t know

You have an insatiable curiosity

You’re a lover, not a fighter

You’re rather untidy

You’re a worrier

You have a twisted sense of humor

What is intelligence?

The Theory of multiple intelligences

Gartner eventually came up with seven intelligences that satisfied his criteria – and were thus included in his theory:

Behaviors that reveal intelligence

Here are 10 scientifically-backed behaviors that reveal you are smarter than you realize:

You’re a procrastinator

You’re a crack up

You’re a cat owner

You’re a night owl

You know what you don’t know

You have an insatiable curiosity

You’re a lover, not a fighter

You’re rather untidy

You’re a worrier

You have a twisted sense of humor

The Psychology of Manipulation

Manipulative Behaviors and Techniques

Simon identifies the following tools and techniques commonly used by manipulators:

Phrases Manipulators Use

“You don’t understand.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“You’re being paranoid.”

“I don’t want to argue.”

“You’re too sensitive.”

“You’re thinking too much.”

“You always do this…”

“I didn’t say that…”

Ten Ways to Deal with Manipulators

What is turmeric?

The anti-inflammatory effects of turmeric

Inflammation, Depression, and the Brain

Curcumin and Depression

How to Make a Delicious Turmeric Lemonade that Relieves Stress and Anxiety

The grocery list:

Here’s how to make the turmeric lemonade:

Final Thoughts: Curcumin Types and Getting Desired Results When You Drink Turmeric Lemonade

10 Facts About The Human Body

1. Sometimes, a human body can have an extra rib.

2. A hiccup is an inherited trait from human’s distant ancestor: the fish.

3. Heart attacks commonly happen on Mondays.

4. There’s a benefit to your appendix.

5. The human eye has 140 megapixels resolution.

6. The right lung is shorter but wider than the left lung.

7. The human DNA finds commonalities with the DNA of slugs or even bananas.

8. The fingernails grow faster than the toenails.

9. The human mind tends to have weirder dreams for those with high IQ.

10. Your feet can “taste” garlic.

Final Thoughts On Facts About Human Body You Probably Never Knew

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Rise and Shine On! Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist

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