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10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Have Kids

One of the most important questions you will ask yourself as you make your family plan is whether or not you will have kids. Not too long ago, having kids was seen as part and parcel of growing up. Today, things have changed. As one author puts it:

“Having kids – the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings – is the biggest job anyone can embark on.” – Maria Shriver

In these modern times, Americans are having fewer and fewer children. There’s been a sharp rise in women who decide against having kids. Increasing numbers of women who do have kids are waiting until they’re in their 40’s to do so.

This means that there’s no better time than now to really ponder whether that is what you want! While parenthood seems like a dream of an idea for some, the realities of parenthood can take you by surprise. It’s a big decision to make, and you should be taking the time to ponder it well. One way to do so is by asking yourself some important questions.

Here Are 10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Have Kids

1.    Is this the right time for me to be having kids?

Not everyone has the luxury of timing their pregnancy. If you have that chance, why squander it? Consider if now is truly the best time in your life, career, or personal journey to consider adding to the family.

If you have a partner or spouse in the picture, do they also want to have children? Is it a good time for him or her? Are there any other reasons that it just might not be the best time for either of you?

Of course, the truth is that there’s never a “perfect” time to have kids, as parenting will bring a challenge no matter how “ready” you might feel. But if you’ve just started at a new job, are recovering from health issues, or aren’t sure if you’ll be moving house soon, you might want to wait a little while. You’ll want to be relatively stable when you have kids!

2.    Do I earn enough to support a family plan with kids?

You might be surprised to read that 64% of women who are voluntarily childless chose their path due to the expenses of childcare. The cost of raising a child up to the age of 17 totals around a whopping $233,610! And yes, that is just for one kid, so it’s an important consideration in a family plan.

When you have a child, it becomes your duty to provide for them and finance their lives. You are completely responsible for your children – their food, shelter, clothing, education, everything. I mean, have you seen the amount of diapers babies run through? Positive thinking about making it through is one thing, but you still need to be realistic.

If you’re bringing a child into the world, you’ll want to be absolutely positive that you can support them. After all, you want a kid to be happy, healthy, and well taken care of. As such, considering whether or not having kids is an expense you can afford is a good idea.

3.    Is there anything I want to do first?

Having a child will change your entire lifestyle. You won’t have as much time to do the things you used to. You’ll have less money to spend on random traveling adventures. So start by taking a look at your bucket list.

Which goals would you like to accomplish before having kids? This can be anything from backpacking through Europe to finding a stable, well-paying job. Remember that having kids will alter every aspect of your daily living. If there are things you want to do first, add that to your family planning schedule.

4.    Are there any medical concerns you have?

Genetic concerns can greatly affect someone’s decision to have kids. If you or your partner have health conditions that could possibly be passed down to children, it might change your decision.

If you like, you can opt to have genetic testing done on both you and your partner before making your final decision. This will allow you to make adjustments to your family plan if you find out that either of you has a genetic condition. Although results are not 100% accurate all of the time, it can provide you with information about unknown issues.

Knowing more about how your genes may affect having kids is important. It can allow you to make preparations should you choose to continue toward your goal of having kids. While it’s not necessary for you to undergo genetic testing, if you know you or your partner has a genetic condition, consider how your preparation or plans may change.

5.    Does your job work well with your family plan?

Before making a concrete decision, you’ll want to find out how your job will be able to support you. Only 40% of women qualify for maternity leave, and only 12% even have access to this option in the private sector.

On top of that, the US is the only country with high-income that does not guarantee paid leave federally. This is something you’ll want to take into consideration with your family plan. Find out how much leave you’re allowed to take and if your vacation days can count towards them. See if your spouse’s company offers leave for them, too, whether paternity or parental.

If your work is seasonal, planning and timing your pregnancy and early months with a new baby around this schedule can be a good idea. Just make sure that, if you have kids, you won’t wind up in a bad place work-wise!

6.    How is your relationship?

If you’re having a child with a partner, the stability of a relationship is crucial. You’ll want to make sure your romance is solid and supportive, and you’re not going through any big tiffs or rough patches. If you are, put having kids on hold for a while.

Studies have proven that overall couple satisfaction decline in relationships with children is almost two times as steep than those without kids. Although you’re also less likely to get divorced if you have kids, you’re more likely to be completely miserable.

This means that you should really make sure you and your partner are strong together and ready for parenting challenges. There’s a difference between maintaining positive thinking and being ignorant. The last thing you want is for your relationship to fall apart when you have a child!

7.    Have you considered family planning, chores-wise?

When you have a baby, everything changes. You have less time to do daily chores. You wind up getting little to no sleep. You might be constantly exhausted for days on end.

This is where splitting chores comes in. You and your partner need to be able to divide the household chores and baby-caring activities fairly between yourselves. So, get this sorted out before deciding to have a child. You’ll be thankful you did.

If you will be the mother in this family, make sure there are no hidden expectations from your partner. Women are often assumed to be able to do it all when they have kids. The reality is that no one can be a superhero; there needs to be compromise and balance.

8.    Do I even like children?

Are you good with kids? What have your past interactions with little ones been like? If you’ve ever babysat for friends before, how did that go? (And if you’ve never done that, give it a go and see!)

Babies don’t stay babies for very long. Before you know it, they’ll be hitting their terrible twos, talking back, running around, throwing tantrums, and getting up to mischief. If you have difficulty dealing with kids or being around them, you might ask yourself if having children is the best choice for you.

We’d like to add that, of course, you don’t have to love kids to turn into a great parent. Many people who aren’t good with children go on to have their own and love them just the same. But it’s a good question to consider as you construct your family plan, so you can be better prepared.

9.    Who else is included in this family plan?

They say it takes a whole village to raise a child. There’s a lot of truth to that statement, but sometimes, you don’t have that option. Think about who will play an important role in your child’s life.

While two-parent homes are still the most common among America’s children, 23% of children live in one-parent homes. If you will be a single parent, then who else will be around to help raise your kid? Your parents, maybe? A sibling? A close friend? If you won’t be a single parent, the same questions apply.

It is ultimately your decision how many people support your child’s growth and development. Deciding in advance who will be involved can help the overall preparedness of everyone in the picture.

10.  Do I truly want to have kids?

Many people fall into the trap of believing that having kids is just a logical next step in their adulthood. Their family planning process might include children by default. You might feel like your life might not be complete without kids.

If you feel pressured into having children because your biological clock is ticking, take a step back and think. Many people – women especially – feel like having kids is their duty. If there’s one reason to have kids that you should never follow through on, it’s because you feel like you have to.

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Choosing whether or not to have children is a serious decision. For the sake of that child and your family’s future, it’s important that you treat it as such. Make sure that when you choose to have kids, you’re doing it for you, and not for anyone else.

Final Thoughts On Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Have Kids

The truth is that nothing can truly prepare you for parenthood. It’s a journey with a steep learning curve that will often have you confused, exhausted, and even frustrated. At the same time, it is an incredibly rewarding experience.

At the end of the day, your decision to have kids depends on your personal family plan and your own thoughts and opinions. By asking yourself these 10 questions before committing to the idea of having kids, you can be positive that you’re as prepared as possible for this new chapter in your life.

10 Deficiencies That Can Cause Depression

It’s safe to say that depression isn’t a condition people want to have. It can be debilitating, exhausting, and prevent you from doing your daily tasks – and it’s not something that plain positive thinking can fix. But did you know that there have been several links made between nutrition and depression?

As it turns out, being deficient in certain vitamins, minerals, and sources of nutrition can actually lead to a higher risk of developing depression. That’s why it’s important to make sure you’re getting all the nutrients you need, especially as you age. Here are some deficiencies that might lead to depression.

“You can trace every sickness, every disease and every ailment to a mineral deficiency.” – Linus Pauling

Here Are 10 Deficiencies That Can Cause Depression

1. B Vitamins

These vitamins are fantastic for nail, hair, and skin health and can even reduce the risk of developing a stroke. But that’s not all they’re good for! B vitamins of all sorts have been noted for having obvious effects on mental health. Pay extra attention to vitamins B6, B9 (folate), and B12, which are some of the most important complex B vitamins. You can get B vitamins from poultry, seafood (like fish, shellfish, crab, mussels, and clams), leafy greens, red meat, milk, eggs, whole grains, bananas, broccoli, avocado, cauliflower, asparagus, and strawberries.

2. Zinc

Zinc is arguably one of the most crucial minerals for the body. It is used the most by enzymes, is responsible for good digestion, can boost the immune system, and is even well-known for warding off allergies. It helps lower inflammation and helps individuals balance their emotional state. Plenty of evidence links depression to a deficiency in zinc. You can get zinc from beef (mainly grass-fed), poultry, mushrooms, oysters, spinach, pumpkin seeds, cashews, dark chocolate, and raisins.

3. Omega-3 Fatty Acids

The body cannot make fatty acids naturally, so we must consume them. They’re great for reducing inflammation, boosting memory, and improving mood, and they’re well-known supplements often taken by those with depressive disorders. Without a sufficiency of these acids, trans fat can make its way into the body’s neural system, leading to potential mind troubles and irritability due to brain inflammation. You can get omega-3 fatty acids from coldwater fish (like tuna, black cod, salmon, and halibut), flaxseed and flaxseed oil, egg yolk, and walnuts.

4. Magnesium

Magnesium, like zinc, is a very, very essential mineral in daily bodily processes, taking part in more than 600 of our metabolic functions. Aside from that, it provides an incredible antidote to high stress levels, helping you stay more relaxed throughout the day. Low levels of this mineral can significantly contribute to the development of neuropsychiatric issues. This connection is so strong that individuals with depression actually tend to have lower magnesium levels. You can get magnesium from seaweed and kelp, peanut butter, avocado, spinach, black beans, whole grain bread, and cashews.

5. Vitamin D

Only recently, vitamin D deficiencies have discovered to be even more dangerous than originally believed, with links to not only depression, but dementia as well. Science has revealed that the lower the amounts of vitamin D in the body, the more severe the symptoms of depression. You can get vitamin D from beef liver, fatty fish (like salmon, mackerel, and tuna), egg yolk, cod liver oil, and cheese. Going outside to spend around half an hour in the sunlight twice or thrice a week can also prevent a deficiency from occurring.

6. Selenium

Selenium is an important trace mineral used in the production of thyroid hormones. It helps provide antioxidants to the body while protecting from all sorts of toxins. It also aids in helping to keep moods positive. Studies have revealed links between depression and deficiencies in selenium. You can get selenium from Brazil nuts, pastured chicken, pastured eggs, meat (mainly grass-fed), seafood (mainly wild-caught), bivalves (like clams and oysters), organic vegetables, organic fruits, whole grains, seeds, and nuts.

7. Iron

Not only does a deficiency in this mineral lead to an increased risk for potentially developing depression, but it can also greatly increase its severity. Maintaining a high amount of iron consumption can actually drastically reduce the chances of developing this psychological condition. What is more, it can improve depression symptoms by 25%. You can get iron from beef liver, chicken liver, duck, shellfish, mussels, and blackstrap molasses. You can also find this mineral in sardines, eggs, nuts (especially cashews and pistachios), spirulina, beans, spinach, raisins, and dark chocolate.

8. Iodine

Iodine is crucial to healthy production of thyroid hormones, in a similar way to selenium. All bodily cells require iodine for healthy metabolism regulation. A deficiency in this component can greatly slow down a large number of organs in the body. This can lead to memory issues, lack of focus, and mood problems. You can find iodine in sea vegetables (like dulse, kelp, nori, and hijiki), egg yolk, crude cheese, saltwater fish, and salt (iodine-improved).

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9. Manganese

Manganese is a trace mineral that performs cofactor duties, essentially providing aid to a large number of enzymes that carry out a variety of different bodily functions. Studies have found that those with depression often have very low levels of enzymes that are manganese-dependent and that those who consume more of this mineral are less likely to develop symptoms of depression.

You can get manganese from leafy green vegetables, nuts (especially macadamias and hazelnuts), fruits, and chocolate. Do note that you should not take large amounts of manganese, as an overdose can cause neurodegenerative disorders.

10. Inositol

This molecule is naturally-occurring and therefore present in most animals and plants. In fact, in our brains, we have very high levels of this component, which is largely responsible for neurotransmitter creation. While the body can produce this molecule from glucose, those with depression have been found to have very low levels of this component inside their brains, and supplementation with inositol has been proven to boost mood and relieve symptoms of depression. You can get inositol from fruits, with the best options being oranges and cantaloupe.

Final thoughts

Depression isn’t something to joke about. It’s a very difficult issue to deal with, but what you eat can make a difference. This knowledge puts the power in your hands. By avoiding these nutrient deficiencies, you’ll be able to help keep your body healthy, therefore keeping your mind and brain healthy, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU2LlJxEdJ4

10 Stretches That Relieve Anxiety And Stop Overthinking

Anxiety seems to be on the rise nowadays. According to a 2018 poll released by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), 40% of respondents said they felt more anxious than a year ago. The poll asked the respondents to rate their anxiety in five different areas of life: health, safety, finances, relationships and politics.

Anxiety Score

“I’ve only just realized how utterly exhausted and drained I am after living in a near constant state of fight or flight for so long.” – Unknown

This year’s national anxiety score is 51 (on a scale of 0-100), which is an increase from 46 last year. Anxiety didn’t seem to discriminate based on age, race, ethnicity, or gender; increases were seen across the board. However, by generation, millennials showed more anxiety than Gen X or baby boomers. Baby boomers’ anxiety went up by seven points between 2017 and 2018, making them the generation with the highest increase.

Americans showed more anxiousness in all five areas (health, safety, finances, relationships, and politics); however, the greatest increase in anxiety was about finances. Nearly 75% of women and young adults (18 – 34) and nearly 80% of Hispanic adults are slightly to severely anxious about money.

Overall, 39% of people admitted to being more anxious this year than they were last year.

Since anxiety seems to be at an all-time high, it’s important to understand anxiety and its causes and symptoms in order to understand how to manage it effectively.

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Facts About Anxiety

Here are a few statistics about anxiety, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA):

  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness affecting Americans, with 40 million adults (18.1% of the population) age 18 and older suffering from one every year.
  • Anxiety disorders respond very well to treatment, yet only 36.9% of those with an anxiety disorder actually seek and receive treatment.
  • Those with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for a psychiatric condition than those who don’t have an anxiety disorder.
  • Anxiety disorders develop from a complex combination of factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.

Types of Anxiety

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
GAD affects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S. population, yet only 43.2% of those suffering receive treatment.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) involves excessive and persistent worry about many different things. People with GAD usually think in terms of the worst-case scenario and may worry obsessively about money, health, family, work, or other life issues.

People with GAD have a very difficult time controlling their worries. They may have unwarranted worries about events that haven’t happened yet or aren’t even expected to happen. Even when it seems there is nothing to worry about, people with GAD can’t help but think of all the scenarios that might happen so they can mentally prepare themselves.

GAD is diagnosed when an individual finds it difficult to control their worry the majority of days for at least six months. Additionally, they display three or more relevant symptoms. Women have twice the likelihood of being affected. The disorder comes on gradually and can begin at any age, though most people with GAD have an onset between childhood and midlife. The exact cause of GAD is unknown, though genetics, family background, and stressful life events are believed to play a role.

People with anxiety believe worry helps them to prevent bad situations from happening, so they don’t want to give up this perceived safety net. People with GAD often experience physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches.

Panic Disorder (PD)
PD affects 6 million adults, or 2.7% of the U.S. population.

Panic disorder is diagnosed in those who experience frequent, spontaneous panic attacks and are preoccupied with the fear of an upcoming attack. Panic attacks can occur out-of-the-blue, even when a person is just waking up. This disorder usually begins after age 20, but even children can have panic disorder and can experience “fearful spells” as an early symptom.

About 2-3% of Americans will have panic disorder in a year, and it is twice as common in women as men. Panic disorder can completely disrupt a person’s life, causing them to miss work, schedule frequent doctor visits, and avoid places where they think they might have another attack. The severity of symptoms and disruption to daily life increase when the person also has agoraphobia.

Many people who have panic disorder don’t know that their disorder responds well to treatment, and many don’t even know what they’re suffering from. Some people are embarrassed or afraid to talk about what they’re experiencing. As a result, many with panic disorder isolate themselves to minimize symptoms and avoid talking about it with others.

Social Anxiety Disorder
SAD affects 15 million adults, or 6.8% of the U.S. population.

Social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, is characterized by immense anxiety in social situations, fear of being judged or rejected, and hyperawareness of oneself. People with social anxiety disorder tend to worry a lot about their appearance, mannerisms, and ability to converse with others, and feel that everyone can tell that they’re anxious. Symptoms of social anxiety include blushing, stuttering, stumbling over words, or freezing during a conversation.

Other physical symptoms of social anxiety include a fast heart rate, upset stomach, nausea, sweating, and panic attacks. As with other anxiety disorders, those with social anxiety often feel that they can’t control it.

Social anxiety disorder is the second most commonly diagnosed anxiety disorder after specific phobias. Most people with social anxiety disorder will have it by the time they’re a teenager, though some report feeling extremely shy as a child as well. However, shyness and social anxiety are two different things – one is a character trait, and the other is an actual disorder.

Social anxiety disorder can greatly interfere with a person’s life. For example, some people may avoid jobs that involve dealing with the public or choose to miss social engagements with friends. Symptoms can be so severe that they interfere with responsibilities such as jobs, school, going to interviews, getting groceries and doing other errands, and maintaining friendships and relationships. People with social anxiety disorder are at a heightened risk of developing major depressive disorder and substance abuse problems.

Social anxiety is highly treatable, yet less than 5% of people seek treatment within a year of experiencing symptoms. In fact, more than one-third report having symptoms for 10 years or more before seeking help.

Specific Phobias
Specific phobias affect 19 million adults, or 8.7% of the U.S. population.

A lot of people have things they are afraid of, such as spiders, elevators, or heights. Most of us try to avoid what makes us uncomfortable, but when faced with our fears, we can usually overcome them and go on with our day without issue.

However, people with specific phobias, or strong irrational fears, try their hardest to avoid contact with the situations, places, or things that trigger their fight-or-flight reaction. Even though the fear is irrational and they know it doesn’t pose a real threat, they don’t know how to stop it.

People who have obsessive, irrational fears in the presence of or before exposure to a specific object, place, or situation have a specific phobia. Phobias can make it hard to carry out daily tasks, such as going to work and doing errands. It can also reduce productivity and self-esteem, and put a strain on relationships since the sufferer will do whatever they can to avoid their fears. This might mean having to change plans regularly due to the phobia.

Some phobias begin in childhood, but most happen unexpectedly, usually during teenage years or young adulthood. They usually begin suddenly, and the phobia might be something that never caused the person any anxiety prior to the onset. Common phobias include certain animals, insects, germs, driving, heights, storms, flying, surgery, and elevators.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
OCD affects 2.2 million adults, or 1.0% of the U.S. population.

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) affects millions of people across the world. Currently, approximately 1 in 40 adults and 1 in 100 children in the U.S. has OCD. OCD is characterized by obsessions (intrusive thoughts or images that cause extreme anxiety) and compulsions (behaviors that a person performs in order to cope with their anxiety). The behaviors can be physical actions or thoughts.

Common obsessions include anxiety about hygiene, contamination, impulses, and the need for symmetry. Common compulsions include checking things multiple times, washing or cleaning, and arranging items. People with OCD often experience many different obsessions and compulsions, and there isn’t always a connection between the two.

Children and teens with OCD might not realize their behaviors or thoughts are excessive or abnormal.

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
PTSD affects 7.7 million adults, or 3.5% of the U.S. population.

People who have been through a traumatic event tend to have flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive memories following the tragedy or stressor, such as 9/11, active combat, or a school shooting.

Your nervous system is trying to process what you saw or went through, so be patient with it. Avoid negative things that could be a trigger such as news reports. Try to spend time doing things you enjoy and connect with loved ones as much as possible.

Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is a severe, sometimes debilitating disorder that can develop in people who have experienced a tragedy such as a natural disaster, motor vehicle accident, terrorist attack, death of a family member, combat, sexual assault, or other near-death experiences. Research has shown that PTSD in soldiers may occur due to a physical brain injury caused by combat blasts.

Most people who go through such traumatic events eventually recover from them, but people with PTSD experience severe symptoms months or even years after the event.

Women are twice as likely to suffer from PTSD as men, and even children can develop it. PTSD often co-occurs with anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and depression.

Now that we’ve discussed different types of anxiety, we’ll move on to how you can use yoga to ease your symptoms and slow down your thinking.

10 Yoga Poses That Relieve Anxiety and Stop Overthinking

How Does Yoga Help Cure Anxiety?

Yoga gives off feel-good hormones and allows the body to move into a state of harmony with the mind. According to Harvard Health Publishing, available studies of yoga practices suggest that yoga can help modulate stress responses and reduce perceived stress. Therefore, anxiety will be lessened as stress levels decrease. Stretching helps to calm your mind by easing tension in your muscles, which helps the stress in your mind melt away as well.

Here are some beginner poses to help you relax and ease into the practice.

1. Ustrasana (Camel Pose)

Ustrasana is the ultimate stretch for your back and abs. It helps improve strength and flexibility, and is a perfect way for a novice to begin a yoga practice. It helps increase blood flow throughout the body, which helps regulate your blood pressure and heart rate, thus lowering anxiety.

To do this pose, kneel on your mat and place your hands on your hips. Make sure your knees and shoulders are aligned and that the soles of your feet face the ceiling. Then, inhale, push your hips and tailbone out, and arch your back. Slide your palms over your feet and straighten your arms.

Make sure to keep your neck in a neutral position, and only lean it back if it doesn’t hurt (that’s more of an advanced move). Hold the pose 30 to 60 seconds.

2. Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose)

This is another great stretch for your back, neck and chest. To do this pose, lie flat on your back, bend your knees, and place your feet on the floor hip-width apart. Make sure that your knees and ankles are aligned; then, inhale and lift your back off the floor. Roll your shoulders in and keep your chin resting on your chest.

Tighten your buttocks and make sure your thighs are parallel to the floor. Lift your torso as high off the floor as you can and hold the pose for one minute. Breathe slowly and relax.

3. Baddha Konasana (Butterfly Pose)

This is one of the easiest poses on the list and helps to stretch your inner thighs and groin. To do this anxiety-reducing pose, all you have to do is sit up straight, stretch out your legs, and bend your knees as you pull your heels toward your pelvic area.

Press the soles of your feet together and allow your knees to drop to the sides. However, if you can’t keep your knees flat, don’t worry. Just stretch as much as you can. Place your thumbs on the arches of your feet. Keep your shoulders back and your chest up. Hold the pose for one to five minutes.

4. Paschimottanasana (Seated Forward Bend)

Another great stretch for anxiety, the seated forward bend, will help stretch out your back and hamstrings. To do this stretch, sit up straight with your legs out in front of you. Flex your toes and raise your hands over your head. Stretch, inhale, and bring the arms slowly forward. If you can’t reach your toes, that’s fine; just stretch as far as you can.

Inhale and elongate your spine, and lean forward a little bit more. Exhale and move your navel toward your knees and lift your head slightly. Repeat this a few times. Then, place your head on your legs and hold the pose as long as you’d like.

Inhale and come back to the starting position with your arms outstretched. Exhale and lower your arms.

5. Dandasana (Staff Pose)

To strengthen your core, you definitely want to do this pose. It’s one of the easiest on the list and is perfect to ease into the more advanced poses. To perform this stretch, sit straight up with your legs stretched out in front of you. Your feet should be pointed upwards and your back straightened.

Press your buttocks to the floor and keep your head straight. This will help lengthen the spine and achieve good posture. With your feet pointed up and your heels pressed to the floor, put your palms next to your hips. This helps to support the spine and relax your shoulders and torso.

Make sure the entire lower half of your body is pressed to the floor, breathe deeply, and hold this pose for 20-30 seconds.

6. Utthita Trikonasana (Triangle Pose)

This is a wonderful pose for opening the body up and easing stress. To do this pose, stand up straight and place your legs about four feet apart. Place your right foot outside at 90 degrees and your left foot in at 15 degrees. Align the center of your right heel with the center of your left foot’s arch.

Balance your body on both feet, then take a deep breath. On the exhale, bend your body to the right from below your hips, and keep your waist straight. Lift your left hand up and allow your right hand to touch the floor. Make sure both your arms form a straight line.

If you can’t touch your right hand all the way to the floor, rest it on your shin or ankle. Let your head stay in a neutral position or turn it toward your left palm.

Your body should be bent sideways. Try to relax into this pose as much as possible and enjoy a deep stretch. When you’re ready, exhale and come up. Drop your arms to your side, straighten your feet, and repeat on the other side.

7. Marjariasana (Cow & Cat Pose)

For this pose, get on all fours and make sure that your hands are under your shoulders and your knees are hip-width apart. Keep your gaze straight ahead, inhale, and raise your tailbone. Push your navel down and hold the pose for a few breaths. This is the cow pose.

Then, do the opposite pose – the cat pose. Exhale, drop your chin down to your chest, arch your back, and relax the buttocks. Hold this pose for a few breaths as well. Do both moves five or six times before releasing and coming back to the starting position.

8. Balasana (Child’s Pose)

This is a wonderful, relaxing pose that helps to stretch the back, neck, and shoulders. To do this pose, simply kneel down on the floor with your big toes touching each other. Stretch your arms out in front of you and lean forward, spreading your knees hip-width apart. Lay the torso between the thighs and rest the crown of your head on the floor, if you can. If not, keep your head where it feels comfortable, and hold the pose for as long as you’d like.

9. Dhanurasana (Bow Pose)

This is a more difficult pose for a beginner, so don’t do this one if it doesn’t feel comfortable. However, if you’d like to try it, lie flat on your stomach with your legs hip-width apart. Gently fold your knees and reach your hands toward your ankles. Lift your chest and legs off the ground and pull the legs back.

Hold for 15-20 seconds before releasing.

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10. Shavasana (Corpse Pose)

This is basically a meditation, a way to end your practice in a soothing, relaxing manner. Simply breathe deeply, relax your mind and body, and allow your thoughts to drift away. Keep your palms facing up and close your eyes. Do this for 10-12 minutes.

Final thoughts

We hope you can find relief from anxiety and overthinking with these yoga poses. In our hectic world today, almost every deals with stress in some way, and stretching serves as an excellent way to release that built-up tension.

While anxiety can seem debilitating, these stretches will surely help to ease your symptoms. Yoga has been scientifically proven to help alleviate feelings of anxiety and depression, so if you’ve been searching for a natural remedy, why not give yoga a try? Your body and mind will definitely thank you!

10 Behaviors That Reveal A Woman Is About to Leave Her Relationship

Relationships are complicated. There are plenty of reasons someone who is not entirely happy in their relationship might wind up sticking around a little too long before dropping the bomb that it’s over. In fact, most individuals go through five stages of thought in ending a relationship, and progressing between those stages in the midst of a relationship can take a while.(1)

Unfortunately, this means the partner of that person is stuck believing that everything is perfectly fine and normal, only to be struck with the sudden heartbreak that will follow. An anonymous quote wisely puts it this way:

“The problem is women think he will change; he won’t. The mistake men make is thinking she’ll never leave; she will.” – Anonymous

By being aware of the signs that a relationship is nearing its end (or that your girlfriend is preparing to split up with you), you’ll save yourself from a lot of heartbreak in the coming weeks or even months. Here are some behaviors that reveal a woman is about to leave her relationship.

Here Are 10 Behaviors That Reveal A Woman Is About To Leave Her Relationship

1. She comes up with reasons to avoid you.

The whole point of being in a relationship is to be with each other and around each other. So if your girlfriend has gone from eagerly making plans with you to suddenly coming up with excuses why she can’t make plans or canceling last minute, something could be up.

This is especially telling if your girlfriend seems to be going out of her way to attend events that she previously expressed contempt for – and the two of you aren’t going to those events together. If she seems ambivalent when you leave on a business trip or are too busy to grab dinner together, she may no longer be invested in your relationships. Sometimes, this might even extend to bedtime habits – she might turn in early when you need to stay up, but insist on working late when you’re heading to bed early.

While other aspects like new jobs can influence how much time your girlfriend spends with you, her sudden desire to avoid you could be one of the most obvious signs that a relationship is nearing its end.(2)

2. Daily conversation has stalled.

In general, partners who are interested in you and love you will want to hear about your day. Additionally, they will listen to you talk about something that you enjoy – even when they can’t always understand those things themselves! If this is something your girlfriend has always done and now she’s no longer keen to hear you talk, things could be going south.

The same goes for a previously communicative girlfriend who suddenly stops wanting to tell you about her time at the office or something funny that happened on her way home. Such behavior even extends to calls and texts. If she doesn’t want to talk to you, she might be consciously reducing your contact in preparation for a split.

3. She no longer talks about your future together.

Talking about future plans can be exciting for serious long-term partners, and that might be something you and your girlfriend used to love doing. It can be something as simple as planning a vacation a few months away or something as serious as pondering the number of kids you want. Whatever the case, if your girlfriend seems reluctant to discuss these things, it could be because she no longer sees a future together with you.

4. She seems to be consciously in a bad mood around you.

It’s not fun to be around someone who is always grumpy. If you notice your girlfriend has become this type of person, maybe it’s because the relationship is putting her in a bad mood. She might be feeling trapped or simply unhappy and thinking that it’s time to move on.

These bad moods might also be intentionally acted out in order to convince you that she is not a good girlfriend, hoping you will end the relationship first. No amount of your attempts to encourage positive thinking will likely get her out of her pretend funk.

5. You’re the last to know about her life developments.

If your girlfriend’s new job promotion or big life-changing moment comes as a complete and utter surprise to you, this might be because the relationship is heading to an end. She might no longer feel the need to include you in her daily life updates, thus you end up the last person to find out about good news. If she no longer informs you of positive or negative life developments, she might no longer see you in her life to see her through the ups and downs.

6. She stopped making an effort.

Relationships will only work out if both partners are making an equal effort. If you’ve noticed your girlfriend suddenly dropping her efforts, then maybe she no longer thinks it’s worth it. This can be anything from a woman no longer planning dates like she once did, to her forgetting important events, to her no longer being willing to help you whittle away your to-do list when you’re swamped in work like you do for her.

If she has stopped putting an effort into her appearance, especially when she always spruced up before dates or outings in the past, take note. She might be lowering the bar because she no longer cares about keeping up appearances. She likely assumes it will all be over soon anyway.

7. The intimacy has died.

Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, and of course, there are some relationships where it doesn’t play an important role. But if you’re seeing a complete nosedive in intimacy with your girlfriend, she might no longer be interested enough in you to engage in that connection.

If your girlfriend doesn’t want to be intimate with you often anymore, hasn’t made an effort to or shown interest in spicing it up in the bedroom, and has confined all kisses to chaste pecks on the cheek, maybe the attraction has died on her end. The same goes for if you’re still regularly having sex, but that sex feels more like a monotonous routine.

8. She starts excluding you.

Every person in a relationship needs to have their own time and space to themselves. But if it’s reached the point where all your girlfriend ever wants is time and space away from you, then you could be heading for a breakup. You might notice your girlfriend seems to be making plans with everyone else except you and never asks you to tag along. This could be her way of pushing you out of her life.

9. Your jokes no longer make her laugh.

All relationships have their inside jokes. When you make a reference to something only the two of you would know and she can barely even muster a smile, maybe she no longer wants to remember the past that created that joke. In addition, if your girlfriend usually cracks up at your puns but has failed to do so lately, there’s a chance she no longer finds what you have to say interesting enough to pay attention.

women

10. She either picks fights or doesn’t care about them.

Constant arguments initiated by your girlfriend, especially over the tiniest things, are a very obvious sign that a relationship is going downhill, fast – but it’s also a red flag if your girlfriend stops caring about fights altogether. If your girlfriend is allowing you to “win” all your heated debates, she might simply not care enough to bother. This could be because she doesn’t think it’s worth trying to change your mind when she won’t be sticking around for a long time anyway. (3)

Final thoughts

No one should have to feel like they’re being led on or played, especially when you’re investing time and emotional energy into a romantic relationship. Do these signs always mean that a woman is going to hightail it? Not necessarily. Sometimes external factors could be causing these issues.

If you think this might be the case, try communicating openly with your girlfriend. Ask her if everything is alright. Perhaps something is going on in her personal or family life that is causing concern and she is simply distracted or discouraged.

At the same time, by noticing these behaviors that could spell trouble in paradise, you’ll know if you should talk things out with your girlfriend in order to see what’s going on. Perhaps a good discussion can nip things in the bud before it all goes south. Or perhaps you will find that she has been thinking it is time to move on. If this is the case, knowing sooner rather than later can help you move on with a positive attitude, resting assured that you did what you could.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVqPIRU2EwQ&t=6s

11 Behaviors That Reveal Someone May Be an Abusive Person

Maybe, as you clicked on this article, you began wondering, “Why on earth would someone become an abusive person?” We’ll talk more about the characteristics of the abusive person later in the article.

First, who do you think of when you hear the word “abuse”? Do you think of a child? Some poor, helpless animal? An elderly person?

What about the act of abuse itself? Do you picture an act of domestic violence?  Perhaps you think of bullying or of sexual harassment. Whatever your initial perception concerning the who’s and what’s of abuse, you’re probably at least partially correct.

What is Abuse?

Abuse can be defined as the infliction of emotional, psychological, or physical harm upon an innocent person or animal. Per the American Humane Society, the abuse of animals and humans is often mutually inclusive. In fact, 71 percent of domestic violence victims state that the abuser also abused pets, while nearly 90 percent of child abuse cases also involved the abuse of animals (1).

Abuse affects people of all ages, from newborns to the elderly. Victims of abuse can be found in any demographic, spanning socioeconomic strata, race, age, creed, color, and sex. Likewise, an abusive person can come from any income, sex, age, or race.

The Scope of Abuse

Unfortunately, both the scale and severity of abuse are probably worse than what you might imagine. Much worse. Additionally, there are many misconceptions surrounding abusive acts, abuse victims, and the abuser.

First, abuse often goes unreported. Victims of child abuse and domestic abuse, for example, fear additional – and often more severe – abuse. Second, we don’t always recognize abuse, even that which seems “obvious,” if only to the victim. In fact, occurrences of abuse often occur in social settings. They tend to involve the consumption of alcohol in the presence of peers or acquaintances. Studies show that, despite witnesses, rarely do people intervene on the abused person’s behalf.

Additionally, many can’t picture the abuse of a toddler, disabled person, or elderly individual whose life has been entrusted to caregivers. Yet, it happens, and probably more often than you think.

Categories of Abuse

The types of abuse are wide in scope and include aggression (e.g. criminal activities, bullying), assault, privacy invasion, rape, silent harassment, libel, infliction of physical injury, sexual harassment, verbal abuse, inhumane acts, neglect, and others.  Indeed, abuse is as various as it is prevalent. Consider that Wikipedia cites 117 different types of abuse, from “abuse of authority” to “workplace abuse or workplace bullying” (1).

Sadly, in some places, abuse is not only legal and acceptable but encouraged. In some Middle Eastern countries, husbands, by the mere act of accusing their wife of some wrongdoing, can inflict physical punishment – with the nod of approval from their legal system. In other countries, abusers of children get away with it merely because they are the children’s biological parents. “Child abuse” is scantly defined in these nations, if at all.

The Effects of Abuse

“Being abused does not necessarily cause psychology or medical illness to occur. However, being abused does make it much more likely that one or more psychological or medical illnesses will occur.” ~ Kathryn Patricelli, M.A. (source)

Psychologically, abuse victims often develop mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, phobias, or post-traumatic stress disorder (2). The abuse that occurs from a young age may lead to personality disorders including borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder (a.k.a. “multiple personality disorder”) and histrionic personality disorder (2).

Besides mental illness, victims of abuse may sustain short- and long-term physical injuries. Among the most common are scar and skin lesions in the physically abused, and malformation of the reproductive system in the sexually abused.

Now, let’s talk what makes an abusive person.

What makes an “Abusive Person?”

Abuse – of any kind – is as shocking as it is reprehensible. The question many of us often ask is, “What would make a person do such a thing?” Or, “How could a person do such a thing?”

These are legitimate questions, the answers to which continue to confound the public. The field of adult psychology can explain some, but not all, of the underlying factors that contribute to abuse. The psychology of many abusive people, regardless of abuse type, shares some commonalities. These commonalities manifest into some predictable, typical behaviors.

Let’s look at 11 behaviors that reveal someone is an abusive person.

1. They are manipulative.

Most abusers are keen on manipulating the feelings of the victim. The abusive person manipulates feelings for any number of reasons – from experiencing guilt and regret, to achieving some sort of twisted satisfaction. Motivations aside, the victim often feels disrespected, mistreated, and manipulated.

If the abusive person is a skilled manipulator, they may cause the victim to experience confounding emotions, like guilt or shame for something they did “wrong.”

2. They openly disparage the victim.

While it is quite rare for the abusive person to commit a blatant act of abuse openly, most will purposely disparage and humiliate the victim in front of others. As we’ll talk about later, most abusers need to feel a sense of control over the victim. Openly insulting or otherwise berating the victim provides – at least temporarily – a twisted sense of control the abuser desperately needs.

3. They exploit their power.

People with abusive tendencies are all typically all too eager to show off power. Many times, when we hear of the abuse of power, some person has also been abused. In worst-case scenarios, the abused may die. Consider the 2011 case of Zheng Xiaoyu, the former “food and drug safety czar” of China. Mr. Xiaoyu bankrolled over $850,000 in bribe money from drug companies with sub-standard quality products. These drugs were ultimately linked to the death of several Chinese citizens (3).

4. They are control freaks.

Control is all about gaining and keeping power over a person or group of people. Abusive people may also desire control out of insecurity. We see this in domestic violence cases, when men beat their wives and accuse them of cheating – usually with no evidence. Controlling behavior may be accompanied by emotional or physical abuse (4).

5. They go off the rails easily.

Emotional instability results from lacking emotional intelligence. If a person quickly becomes angry for no good reason – and directs that anger onto their partner or a child or animal – it is a potential sign that he or she is an abusive person.

6. They are very critical.

A loving relationship involves the appreciation and adoration of a person regardless of their faults. Verbal abuse of any kind has no place in a relationship. Relatedly, verbally admonishing one’s partner for mental or physical “faults” is strongly indicative of an abusive relationship – and an abusive person.

7. They’re always sorry.

It isn’t normal to always be apologizing to one’s romantic partner. An abusive person with a guilty conscience is seemingly always apologizing for their latest screw-up. Prolific apologizing is most common early in the relationship, but it can carry on into later phases, especially if the abuser fears separation.

8. They don’t understand personal space.

We all know that romantic relationships involve closeness and intimacy. But there’s intimacy, and then there’s flat-out stalking. Oh, and some abusive people will show this type of creepy behavior before you’ve even introduced them to the folks. Don’t let it happen, for as soon as you do, they’ve “got” you – or at least that’s what they think.

9. They use gaslighting.

Gaslighting is defined as “a form of emotional abuse in which your partner leads you to mistrust your own interpretations of reality (5).” The abusive person will gaslight to let themselves off the hook. They do so by sowing seeds of self-doubt in the victim. Look out for statements like “You’re too sensitive” or “You always do this.”

abusive person

10. They turn on the charm – at first.

Most abusive people are sane people. As such, part of them understands that they can’t exhibit their abusive tendencies without first gaining your trust. To gain this trust, many abusers give off a charming and (almost) innocent-like demeanor. That is until you’ve fulfilled their need and they have no further use for you.

11. They always need something.

The abusive person has a deep-seeded sense of insecurity and helplessness. As “tough” as they may appear on the outside, abusers quickly become victims in the sense that they “need” others to do things out of fear that they’re incapable. Not too many people are willing to lend a hand to someone once their trust has been violated. This need for others may be the abuser’s greatest weakness – and possibly the potential victim’s greatest asset. Make it clear that you’re not helping anymore, and the self-serving abusive person may just leave you alone.

After all, they don’t care about you. Not really.

Final Thoughts

Abuse of a person or animal is a very serious offense in the United States. If you or someone you know if being abused, and you aren’t sure about contacting law enforcement, please call or visit the website of one of the following organizations below:

– Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453 (website)

– The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (website)

– (Animal abuse): Contact your local law enforcement agency or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) at 757-622-7382

If you live somewhere other than the United States, search Google for local or national help agencies. Make sure that any organization you contact explicitly states that all communication is confidential unless you state otherwise.

Therapists Explain 10 Things That Can Improve Mental Health

Taking care of your mental health is just as important as looking after your physical health. If you’re emotionally and mentally well, you’ll be able to deal with stress and better manage whatever life throws at you. Therapists are often very helpful in helping people sort out their issues. It stands to reason that they might have some pretty good advice about mental health. So we wanted to get the opinions of the experts regarding what you must do to improve your mental health.

Here Are 10 Things That Can Improve Mental Health, According To Therapists

“It’s up to you today to start making healthy choices. Not choices that are just healthy for your body, but healthy for your mind.” – Jasmine Warga

1. Write your thoughts and feelings in a journal.

Writing a journal is a great exercise for mental health. Expert Jason Moser of the Michigan State University shared in a study that writing down your thoughts takes the edge off the stress and confusion in your mind. When you write down what’s really bothering you, you release those heavy and disruptive feelings that prevent you from becoming productive and feeling positive.

You don’t have to write seriously long journal entries. You may spend just five to ten minutes on this activity. When you’re journaling, you can also monitor the changes in your thought process or mindset and you can discuss or probe these thoughts further with your therapist later.

2. Trust in the power of positive thinking.

People with a positive attitude can generally handle life’s problems and stressors better as they don’t give up on finding solutions. Because they focus their perspective on positive thoughts, they can reframe the way they view life. Thus, based on this mindset, they tend to make good choices in life.

Life coach and licensed clinical social worker Diann Wingert suggests creating an inner dialogue filled with affirmations in order to train your brain to think positively. Research shows that the power of positive thinking opens your mind and brings ideas that add value to your life.

3. Go on daily walks to calm your nerves.

When you’re mad or frustrated, don’t you feel better after stepping outside for a short walk? Going out and getting some air can actually take a load off those heavy feelings. In fact, some therapists have incorporated walks with their patients during their therapy sessions, especially if the weather is nice for a stroll.

Walking releases endorphins, the feel-good hormones, that can improve your mental health if you’re feeling sad or depressed. And getting outside lets you experience the sun or the breeze, which enhances mindfulness.

4. Focus on self-care activities.

Self-care activities are things you do to help yourself de-stress. There’s no right or wrong way to go about these activites. It also doesn’t matter if you do them every day or every week. The most important thing with self-care is that you focus on stuff that gives you happiness and pleasure, whether you’re alone or with someone whose company you enjoy.

5. Don’t forget to say, “Thank you.”

According to Dr. Alexandra Kelly of the Psychological Health Center of Excellence, expressing your gratitude every day has been proven to improve sleep, control chronic pain, reduce stress and symptoms of depression, and impact your overall wellbeing. When you’re always thankful for something, you acknowledge the good things that happen in your life. For this exercise, create a simple gratitude list to reflect on every day. It might help to write this in your journal, too.

6. Count on “your people.”

You’re not going to carry on with life well if you don’t have a support system. This group of people might be your immediate family, or it may consist of a group of close and trusted friends with whom you feel comfortable sharing your feelings.

Social connection is vital to mental health. No man is an island, after all. Therapist Ryan Adams of the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Centre did a study on the impact of best friends on stress and the results were not surprising. It revealed that having a best friend present during a challenging experience reduces feelings of negativity and improves feelings of self-worth. If you have people you can count on, they can definitely make bad experiences a lot more bearable.

7. Tune into sad music.

It might seem counterproductive to listen to sad music if you’re trying to be positive. However, a study from behavioral psychologists in Berlin showed that sad music can trigger peaceful feelings that can transform into positive emotions for the listener. A sad song also heightens your ability to empathize. When you connect and relate to the song’s message, you’re more attuned to your feelings and understand yourself and other people’s struggles better.

8. Get more sleep.

You instantly feel the physical effects of a lack of sleep. Well, if you’re not sleeping well or if you’re not sleeping enough, it can also seriously wreck your mental state. Sleep regulates your emotions and concentration. If you continue with poor sleeping habits, you may become vulnerable to depression and other mental disorders. So, if you’re cranky because you only got two hours of dream-time, you might want to skip work and catch up on your sleep.

mental health

9. Unplug and do a digital detoxification.

Social media can provide you with a wonderful support system. However, if you’re on this platform too much, you could end up feeling worse and worse, especially if it might seem that your friends have better lives than yours. Once a while, go on a digital detoxification. Unplug those devices and focus on other activities away from the online world. It will be good for your sanity.

10. Educate yourself about mental health.

They say that knowledge is power. If you diligently read up on mental health conditions and disorders, you will be better equipped to handle it if you or your loved ones experience problematic symptoms. You’ll also be more willing and empowered to seek help or talk about what you’re going through with other people. The more we learn about mental health, the less of a negative stigma we will have regarding these conditions, and the more positive and healthy our approach will be.

Final thoughts

Make your mental well-being a priority. Don’t wait until you’re going through a crisis. Consider going to a therapist if you need guidance, and not just because you’re facing a serious problem.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU2LlJxEdJ4

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