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7 Signs You’re Blocking Your Own Growth

April 7, 2023 by Kristen Butler

Are You Blocking Your Own Growth? Take the quiz HERE…

Growth is a natural part of life, yet many people find themselves stuck in one place, unable to move forward. This stickiness can be due to limiting beliefs that hold them back from exploring new opportunities and taking risks. Everyone falls into one of three zones. These are the complacent, survival, or comfort zone.

The Complacent Zone is where someone is stuck and unable to move forward. As a result, they’re often resentful or jealous of others. The Survival Zone shows someone who works tirelessly but doesn’t seem to get ahead. They become dissatisfied and experience burnout. The optimal existence is the Comfort Zone. It is a place where we can challenge ourselves and grow intentionally and at our own pace.

An Illustration of Each Zone, and How They Contribute (or take away from!) Your Growth

Let’s think of growth as a journey–like driving along a dirt road. Sometimes we might hit a patch of mud and get stuck.

A person in the Complacent Zone reacts by sitting stuck in the mudhole. They start to get irritable, perhaps worrying that another car might venture along the road and crash into them. Still, they don’t have an awareness of how to get unstuck.

Another driver, someone in the Survival Zone, furiously starts to spin the tires and rev the engine. But that makes them even more mired in the mudhole. They become angry, so upset that they break down in tears of frustration.

The third driver is in the Comfort Zone. This person knows how to assess the situation, trusting their inner knowledge. They remain calm. While weighing options, they remember they have kitty litter in the trunk from a recent trip to the grocery store. They calmly tear open the bag, apply the sandy material to the road surface for grip, shift to low gear, and gently ease out of the predicament.

While getting stuck in the mud is easy, it’s much harder to recognize when stuck in a limiting belief system.

Seven Behaviors That Block Your Growth (You Need to Find the Comfort Zone!)

These seven behaviors can block growth. Naming them allows us to shift into our comfort zone. It’s also worth noticing that we can float from one zone to another when we undergo life changes. But the important part is recognizing it, allowing you to return to your Comfort Zone.

With each behavior, we suggest a way to “get unstuck” and move into a growth mindset.

1 – Being a go-getter may mean you are in the Survival Zone.

Some people are proud to be go-getters, and while this might sound like a good thing, it can indicate that they work hard without reaching the desired outcome. Go-getters have an unrelenting drive to succeed, which can lead to burnout.

For instance, imagine a young professional who wants to climb the corporate ladder quickly. They work long hours, sacrifice weekends and holidays, and are constantly on the go. However, this approach leads to exhaustion and a lack of balance in their life. They may find themselves stuck in a cycle of overworking, unable to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

To break this cycle, set boundaries with yourself. Set an alert on your phone–when the timer dings, it means no more work. You can ease it–try this twice a week at first and gradually increase. You’ll gradually learn to unwind.

2 – Difficulty falling asleep or disrupted sleep patterns may suggest you are in the Survival Zone.

Another behavior that can block our growth is having difficulty falling asleep or often awakening at night. These indicate that someone is in the Survival Zone and fails to “power off” for the night.

For example, imagine a parent working full-time during the day, taking care of their children in the evening, and staying up late to attend college. Their mind constantly races, focused on what they must accomplish next. They lack the time to take care of their needs. Even worse, all that energy means they struggle to power off at the end of the day.

In time, these behaviors can lead to a failure to reset for the next day and cause burnout over time.

Adopt a new evening routine. That might be a luxurious bubble bath or meditation before you fall asleep. Self-care activities can ease your mind and help you transition to a restful place. You can do this for as little as ten or fifteen minutes; it will become a habit.

3 – You feel stuck in the past but fearful of the future, indicating you are in the Complacent Zone.

Another behavior that can limit growth is feeling stuck in the past but also fearing the future. This sign reveals that someone is in the Complacent Zone. This positioning holds them back from achieving their goals. It also causes resentment toward those who accomplish great things.

For example, imagine someone who had a difficult childhood. As a result of a less-than-ideal upbringing, they have a negative outlook on life. They focus on past failures and the hurt that they have experienced. That pattern leads to anxiety about the future. These thoughts can hold them back from taking risks and exploring new opportunities.

Try journaling for three minutes daily. You can craft a gratitude list to acknowledge the best things in your life. While at it, consider your future goals and note how to achieve growth. Don’t worry about perfection. Nobody else will read these!

4 – You only try new things when someone urges you, which suggests you are in the Complacent Zone.

Another behavior that can block human growth is only trying new things when others urge us to. This behavior indicates an existence in the Complacent Zone. That’s where someone lacks self-confidence and intuition. Thus, they don’t experience new joys.

For instance, imagine someone who always orders the same dish at their favorite restaurant, even though they see other customers trying different dishes. They don’t want to step out of their comfort zone and try something new because they fear they won’t like it. This behavior can prevent them from discovering new experiences and achieving personal growth.

Gently challenge yourself. Make a point of trying one new thing per week. These don’t need to cost you a penny. It might be like our food example, cooking a new dish. Or it could be driving home from work, a new way to see new scenery. You will gradually spur growth, opening yourself to other new things.

5 – You rely on material, tangible goods to make you happy, which might mean you are in the Survival Zone.

Relying on material things or tangible goods for happiness can block our growth. It reveals that someone is in the Survival Zone. External rewards inform this behavior. It doesn’t allow us to take time away from overworking to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.

For example, imagine someone who works long hours and always buys themselves expensive things as a reward for their hard work. They might buy a new car, a luxury watch, or designer clothing. While these things might bring temporary happiness, they are not sustainable, and they can cause someone to miss out on the simple joys of life, such as spending precious time with loved ones or enjoying nature.

Don’t reward yourself with a purchase the next time you reach a milestone. Instead, find one thing that makes you happy and spend a few minutes indulging in it. That might be puppy snuggles or a quiet meal with your partner. But find something that sparks your inner joy–that’s your reward.

6 – You rarely make long-term plans or commitments, which might indicate living in the Complacent Zone.

Another behavior that can hinder growth is rarely making long-term commitments. This lack of commitment suggests someone is in the Complacent Zone, muddling through life stuck in the same old routine.

Here’s an example. Imagine someone who always spends weekends at home, watching TV and scrolling through social media. They rarely commit to new social events, like parties or outings, because they are comfortable in their current routine.

This behavior can prevent them from making new connections, trying new experiences, and growing personally. They don’t benefit from meeting new people or exposure to a broad range of ideas. You guessed it–they limit their growth.

Accept that next invite to a wedding or class reunion. Sign up for a class at the community college. You might enjoy the interaction and find the courage to try one more new thing.

7 – Caring too much about others’ opinions suggests life in the Survival Zone

Finally, caring about what others think about us can be a behavior that holds us back from personal growth. This behavior suggests the Survival Zone, where people are motivated by external factors. These external forces often include the opinions of others. People in the Survival Zone are often people pleasers who go to great lengths to be well-liked.

For example, imagine someone always seeking validation from others, even when it means sacrificing their values and beliefs. They neglect their internal growth and instead focus on external validation, which can limit their ability to achieve personal success.

Instead of seeking approval from others, seek self-love. Try meditation to delve into your soul and reconnect with your inner self. Give yourself ten minutes two or three times a week. It takes very little time and supports the growth process.

Final Thoughts on Understanding If Your Zone Blocks You From Growth.

Personal growth requires us to challenge our limiting beliefs and behaviors. Recognizing when we are in the Complacent or Survival Zone allows us to trust our intuition, make long-term commitments, and focus on internal growth instead of external validation. Ultimately, the Comfort Zone is where we can intentionally challenge ourselves and grow at our own pace, achieving personal success and fulfillment.

If you’re interested in learning more about which growth zone you’re currently in, please take this quick, fun, and free quiz. This quiz will help you identify whether you’re in the Complacent, Survival, or Comfort Zone and offer tips on how to move towards personal growth. You will answer a few simple questions. You’ll get your results instantly, gaining valuable insight into which behaviors might hold you back from achieving personal success.

So, what are you waiting for? Take the quiz and start your journey toward personal growth today.

Science Explains Why Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone Is Bad Advice

April 7, 2023 by Kristen Butler

FREE Comfort Zone Quiz

Picture your comfort zone as a balloon delicately resting in the palm of your hand. Each breath you take represents a step outside this haven, gradually pushing its boundaries. But beware, for there is a fine line between stretching and bursting. BANG! You can overstretch the cheery balloon, causing a total collapse.

Stepping out of your comfort zone may have limited merits. But in a world that constantly encourages pushing limits, it’s easy to forget that there’s a subtle art to growth. You can create a growth-oriented environment by nurturing your balloon with intention and care.

It’s where gradual expansion takes place without the pressure of overinflating it. In doing so, you can thrive in the familiar, embracing the power of slow, steady, and purposeful growth.

This article will share science proving that stretching your limits–or, as they told you, stepping out of your comfort zone–is terrible advice.

When Stepping Into Your Comfort Zone Is Necessary

There may be unexpected occasions when you have no choice but to step into your comfort zone. These are in response to an external force. While you may perform well at that moment, you don’t necessarily grow or improve your life. These moments lack the intention it takes to create long-term growth.

One such instance is when faced with a medical emergency involving a loved one. Imagine the scene: your family member suddenly collapses. You look around and realize it’s up to you to take immediate action. Your heart races, and the adrenaline surges. Every fiber of your being is screaming for you to flee the situation. But deep down, you know their well-being is paramount, and your intervention might be the difference between life and death.

In this critical moment, you muster the courage to step into your comfort zone, perform CPR, or call for help while staying by their side until professional aid arrives. This quick response is a testament to your love and devotion and exemplifies how we can rise above our fears and limitations when the situation demands it. You must be in your comfort zone for quick thinking to render aid.

Let’s move on and look at the science of why stepping out of your comfort zone is usually unhelpful.

Science Proves That You Do Not Always Need to Push Out of Your Comfort Zone

Living and growing with intention means lasting growth. Intentionally building a life you love, surrounded by people you care about, supports you in all areas of life. Let’s look at behaviors that ignore your comfort and how they hold you back and detract you from living a happy life.

1 – Overworking kills your productivity and your happiness

Pushing yourself to overwork in the name of productivity creates the opposite effect.

In a BBC Worklife article titled “How overwork is literally killing us,” the author discusses the detrimental effects of overworking on our mental and physical health and productivity. The article highlights that pushing oneself to work excessively can lead to burnout, increased stress levels, and a myriad of health issues, ultimately causing a decrease in overall productivity. Doctors warn that overworking has severe consequences, including a heightened risk of stroke and heart disease.

The author emphasizes the importance of work-life balance, taking breaks, and setting boundaries to maintain a healthy and sustainable lifestyle. By balancing work and personal life, individuals can achieve better productivity without compromising their well-being.

While you might be unable to quit your job, try to find ways to stop overworking. Could you plan your time better? Can you skip the commute and work from home a day–or better yet–two days a week to reclaim some time? Might you talk to your employer about an alternative schedule? Minor changes to decrease these demands can add up to progress.

2 – Always ignoring your comfort without setting boundaries causes burnout

In the article “Psychotherapist wellness as an ethical imperative” by Barnett, Johnston, and Hillard, the authors emphasize the importance of self-care and maintaining personal well-being, particularly for psychotherapists.

They argue that consistently prioritizing the needs of others over one’s self-care can lead to burnout, which can negatively impact the quality of care provided to clients. By underscoring the ethical obligation of psychotherapists to maintain their wellness, the authors assert that engaging in self-care practices benefits the practitioners and the individuals they serve.

The research suggests that prioritizing personal well-being and establishing a healthy work-life balance is essential to preventing burnout, ensuring that psychotherapists can continue providing practical, ethical care to their clients.

Now, apply that advice to your life. You cannot improve your life until you set boundaries with your loved ones and soothe your soul with self-care. So treat yourself! Take as little as ten minutes each day for self-care. That can look like a long shower, a few moments of meditation, or reading a post from your favorite positivity blog.

3 – Pushing yourself using negative statements hinders growth

We often tell ourselves that we can do more. That may sometimes be true and necessary. But we often frame it with punitive language. We carry that from childhood.

Think back to a parent warning that you’ll sit at the dinner table until you eat all your peas (punitive). The language should have been to eat the peas because they give you the energy to play outside with friends (rewarding). See the difference? Many of us carry that negative language into adulthood. We set up boundaries in our brains that should not exist.

Multiple studies explain how self-talk is an internal dialogue. It impacts our emotions, behavior, and overall well-being. Negative self-talk can hinder positive outcomes by fostering self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and a pessimistic mindset.

This negativity can lead to increased stress, reduced motivation, and lower self-esteem, ultimately preventing individuals from achieving their full potential.

One article on Health Direct (Australia’s Department of Health and Aged Care website) suggests cultivating positive self-talk is essential for boosting confidence, promoting resilience, and improving mental health. Individuals can reframe their internal dialogue by recognizing and challenging negative thoughts to foster a more optimistic and empowering mindset. Thus, it can contribute to better outcomes in their lives.

4 – You must face every fear to thrive in life

In the article “Amygdala Activity, Fear, and Anxiety: Modulation by Stress,” published in Biological Psychiatry, the authors delve into the body’s stress response and its role in protecting individuals from potential harm. The study focuses on the amygdala. That region in the brain plays a crucial role in processing fear and anxiety. It moderates your stress. The authors explain that the body’s stress response, which includes the amygdala activation, is a natural and adaptive mechanism designed to help individuals recognize, assess, and respond to potential threats.

While there are some minor fears that we must all face, it is not necessary to face every fear to thrive in life. While overcoming specific fears can benefit personal growth, the body’s natural stress response serves as a protective measure. It helps us navigate our environment and avoid unnecessary risks.

By acknowledging the importance of this response and understanding its role in maintaining safety, individuals can find a balance between facing their fears when appropriate and respecting their inherent need for self-preservation. In doing so, they can successfully navigate life’s challenges without the constant pressure to confront every fear they encounter.

Final Thoughts on How Science Proves You Need Not Always Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

While pushing our limits and stepping out of the boundaries of our comfort zone can lead to personal growth and self-discovery, it is not always necessary or beneficial.

So let’s review. Scientific research demonstrates the importance of balance in life, such as maintaining personal well-being by practicing self-care, managing the body’s stress response, setting boundaries, and fostering positive self-talk. Conversely, overworking, constantly prioritizing others, or relentlessly facing our fears can result in burnout, diminished productivity, and adverse health outcomes.

Now we return to our earlier balloon metaphor. We must remember that the art of personal growth lies in knowing when to stretch our boundaries and when to stop inflating them.

Just as a balloon can burst when overfilled, pushing ourselves beyond our limits without reprieve can harm our mental and emotional well-being. Conversely, nurturing our balloon with care, intention, and balance allows for gradual, sustainable growth and a healthier, happier life.

We can maintain our well-being and enjoy the journey by understanding and respecting our limits. We can live in the present, enjoying that moment of walking around with a bright and cheerful balloon to carry and enjoy.

It is imperative to learn the value of staying within our comfort zone at times, allowing for intentional and gradual growth without the pressure of constant expansion. Take this fun, interactive quiz to learn your zone.

How Lucky Are You, According to Your Zodiac Sign?

April 7, 2023 by Kristen Lawrence

Do you consider yourself a lucky person? If positive things happen to you often, you’re blessed with good luck. But you may believe in the power of hard work and perseverance rather than fate. Those who get lucky usually do something to deserve good fortune, whether they realize it or not.

For example, performing noble deeds generates positive karma for yourself and others, eventually rewarding you. Finding luck on your side means you have a kind, generous heart and care about others’ wellbeing.

After all, the luckiest people tend to have a compassionate attitude and a deep desire to help their fellow beings. Their uplifting vibrations ensure they can turn any situation into a positive one, creating good fortune wherever they go.

However, some zodiac signs may experience luck more often than others. Believe it or not, the planets’ and stars’ placement and alignment influence Earth’s events. If you feel lucky, you may have your astrological sign to thank. Read on to discover if the stars have success and prosperity in store for you.

(Remember that any sign can become lucky with enough determination and a fighting spirit, however. Just because a specific “lucky” planet does not rule you, don’t let that discourage you from accomplishing your goals!)

Do You Have a Lucky Zodiac Sign?

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

As a cardinal sign and the first sign of the zodiac, Aries has an indomitable will and fierce spirit. Ruled by Mars, the planet of war and conflict, they’re used to fighting tough battles and overcoming challenges. Aries has a passion and drive to succeed, creating lucky situations even in the face of uncertainty. Due to their bravery, this fire sign often achieves the impossible and finds good fortune.

In 2023, Aries may attract particularly prosperous energy because Jupiter is in their sign. Jupiter, the planet of expansion, abundance, and luck, will remain in Aries until May, allowing the ram to thrive.

You’re in Luck If You’re a Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Taurus’ ruling planet is Venus, symbolized by love, beauty, and wealth. Therefore, Taureans enjoy the finer things in life and have the willpower to obtain them. Some astrologers consider Taurus one of the luckiest signs due to the positive influence of Venus. While the bull can seem stubborn sometimes, this same headstrong, tenacious energy also brings them great success.

According to Alice Alta, the lead astrologer for the Futurio app, Taurus will enjoy serendipitous situations through 2023. The influence of Jupiter, which enters Taurus in May and remains until 2024, will bring transformation and luck to the bull.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, Geminis have a quick wit and the ability to process information quickly. Because of their bubbly, vibrant personalities and magnetic energy, they tend to create positivity in their lives without even trying. This versatile, lucky air sign easily wins people over and makes friends wherever they go. As social butterflies with the gift of gab, they know how to network and achieve their goals.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Most people probably don’t associate the introspective, brooding Cancer with luck. However, this emotional water sign’s strength comes from its intuition and psychic abilities. They’re lucky because their sensitive, empathic nature allows them to understand life more deeply. Their spiritual wisdom and gentle spirit bring them lasting peace, which they consider more important than wealth or other material gains.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

This energetic fire sign craves attention and thrives in social situations. Ruled by the sun, they have endless creative energy and vitality that helps them attract positivity. They’re natural leaders who use social skills to navigate challenges and overcome adversity. They have irresistible confidence and a dynamic personality that helps them find good fortune.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Also ruled by Mercury, Virgos always use reason rather than emotions to solve life’s problems. They create lucky situations by analyzing the facts and applying logic to find the ideal solution. Virgos may have a reputation for being rigid and cold, but they use their intelligence wisely to help others. This reliable earth sign notices minute details that others overlook, making them proficient in any career.

Libras Also Have a Lucky Streak (September 23 – October 22)

Like Taurus, Venus rules this peaceful air sign, which infuses their lives with beauty and balance. Known as the humanitarian zodiac sign, Libras have a strong sense of duty to help people. Their empathetic nature brings them prosperity because they generate positive karma by serving others.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Ruled by both Pluto and Mars, Scorpios have a unique intensity and transformative energy about them. They’re passionate and fiery despite being a water sign, which gives them a drive for self-improvement and growth. Scorpios have a secretive, mysterious aura that leaves many people guessing. But, they’re a profoundly spiritual, psychic sign that relies on their intuition to attract luck and abundance.

You’re Extremely Lucky If You’re a Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Many astrologers consider Sagittarius the luckiest of all zodiac signs. Ruled by Jupiter, this optimistic fire sign views life as an endless adventure and opportunity to grow. Because they have such positive personalities, they attract lucky situations without much effort. Even though the archer has a carefree vibe, they also possess a strong work ethic that allows them to succeed.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Saturn, the planet of karma and responsibility, rules this grounded earth sign. Known for their ambition and perseverance, Capricorns get lucky by working hard and mastering their craft. Most people born under this sign are uncomfortable leaving life up to chance. They’d rather take matters into their hands and unleash their potential using the power of intelligence and reason.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Aquarians may seem eccentric and quirky, but their independent demeanor gives them a unique perspective. They’re known as the rule breakers and rebels, preferring to live by their terms instead of societal norms. Many see them as visionaries because of their revolutionary ideas and intellectual prowess. Aquarians get lucky in unconventional ways and rely on their heightened intuition to guide them.

Pisces, Another Very Lucky Zodiac Sign (February 19 – March 20)

This gentle water sign creates abundance and positivity easily since Jupiter rules them. However, Neptune also rules them, representing inspiration, dreams, and psychic abilities. That powerful energetic combination makes Pisces more likely to experience lucky streaks. But their keen intuition also helps them navigate life and make sound choices for their soul’s development.

Final Thoughts on How Astrology Influences Your Luck

If you experience lucky situations often, you may wonder why this happens to you. Did you ever consider how your astrological sign impacts your karma and fortune? It may sound farfetched, but many astrologers believe our birthdays uniquely influence our lives. For instance, signs ruled by Jupiter tend to experience good luck more often, as this planet governs growth and prosperity. Venus represents beauty and wealth, so Taurus and Libra may feel lucky since this planet rules them.

However, your zodiac sign doesn’t have to determine your fate — you can always chart a new course and take steps toward realizing your dreams.

10 Phrases to Remember When Someone Bullies You

April 6, 2023 by Sarah Barkley

Although many people think the experience ends in adulthood, you will deal with bullies throughout your life. Being the victim isn’t enjoyable, and you can potentially end it by using the phrases discussed below.

If someone bullies you, you must remember that you’re not alone, and it isn’t your fault. Knowing what to say can help you find the courage to stand up to the person. The bully likely won’t stop unless you stand up for yourself.

Bullying is common, and unfortunately, it’ll always exist. Learning to deal with these people can help you get through the situation.

What is Bullying?

Bullying occurs when teasing becomes unkind and hurtful or is a constant occurrence. Teasing should be playful and friendly, with both people finding it funny.

Bullies intentionally hurt others in verbal, physical, or psychological ways. It might involve hitting, shoving, name-calling, mocking, or threats. Other times the bully will shun others and spread rumors. Cyberbullying is another type that involves social media or electronic messaging to hurt others.

Phrases to Use When Someone Bullies You

1 – How would you feel if someone treated you or your loved one the way you treat people right now?

Sometimes all it takes to stop a bully is to ask how they would like it if someone else did the same thing. Envisioning themselves or their loved ones experiencing mistreatment might get them to reconsider. It can help them think about how their behavior affects others.

2 – We need to discuss your behavior because bullies are not okay.

Saying that you need to talk clarifies that you will not tolerate the behavior. It also allows the bully to engage in a private discussion. However, if they don’t talk to you alone, you can feel better knowing you tried before calling them out in front of others.

Emphasizing that their behavior isn’t okay addresses it immediately but allows you to get to the specifics later. It might help immediately end the bullying, helping you to address the issue directly.

If you don’t say that the behavior isn’t okay, the bully may believe their behavior is acceptable. On the other hand, being clear that it’s not okay can put an end to it and make them think of their actions.

3 – You’re hurting others and don’t know what actions it can lead to.

Sometimes the person mistreating you doesn’t realize how their behavior affects others. Pointing it out can make a difference because he can help the person think about what could happen. Bullies don’t always think clearly when upset, but being blunt can help shift to rationality.

Loudly speaking to the bully can end the problem and prevent that person from bullying you again. If it’s hard to do it alone, consider finding a few others to support you.

4 – What do you want to accomplish when bullying others?

Asking a bully what they plan to achieve from bullying can help them consider their actions. It can help them recognize what they’re trying to do or feel. When they can identify the underlying factor, it allows them to address it and help themselves improve.

They should think about what they want to gain or lose and what’s happening in their life that makes them mistreat others. You can help them find the answers if they recognize it’s a problem.

5 – I understand you’re hurt, but mistreating others will not make you feel better.

When someone bullies, it’s often a sign that they’re hurting or struggling. They might be responding to trauma or stress. Sometimes it might also be a way to gain status, take control, and intimidate you.

In some situations, someone bullying you might not realize they’re hurting you. This phrase shows empathy and clarifies that you won’t put up with it. It can help them understand that they must change their behavior and find the tools to address the issues more positively.

6 – Why do you bully people?

This question forces the bully to consider why they’re behaving in a harmful way. It also helps them realize that although their behavior requires change, you still view them equally and feel empathy.

There’s typically an underlying reason for bullying, and asking this question can make a difference. Negative behavior is how someone communicates feelings, and they may not realize there’s a better option. Asking about it can also help the person recognize their triggers and handle the situation before it leads to the mistreatment of others.

7 – Can I help you find better outlets for your feelings?

This question is beneficial for offering help without shaming the other person. It’ll stop them from bullying you because they’ll see you’re not letting it negatively affect you. This phrase can also end their behavior because it helps them see that there’s a better way.

However, you must be ready to listen if you choose this phrase when someone bullies you. It can lead to a deep conversation with the other person wanting the help you offered. If they learn better ways to manage their hurt, they might stop bullying altogether.

You can help them find ways to shift their negativity into positive outlets. They learned the bullying behavior somewhere, and now they’ll have to unlearn it while taking on new methods. Offering help is beneficial if the person bullying you is someone you must encounter regularly. You’ll both benefit from their learning to replace problematic behavior with positive actions.

8 – Stop treating people this way because no one deserves it.

You don’t have to explain yourself or beg for them to treat you better. Assertively telling them to stop can improve how they treat you and others. It sometimes helps you speak up if you remind yourself that you’re not the only one dealing with the mistreatment.

No one deserves mistreatment despite how the other person feels. Clarifying that the behavior isn’t okay can make a difference. Keeping it simple can show them that you don’t want to be confrontational, but you won’t put up with it.

9 – I’m not in the mood for bullies today, are you finished?

You don’t always have to be pleasant when requesting them to stop. Be clear that you’re sick of the behavior and won’t let it continually affect you. Asking if they’re finished bullying you might leave them speechless, or it’ll make the bullying less enjoyable to them.

10 – Your actions are bothering me, and I’m offended.

A bully will keep pushing and hurting others until someone calls them out for their behavior. Use this phrase when someone is mistreating you around others because it’ll quickly shut them down.

It could also entice others to come to your defense or agree with your assessment. Someone bullying you won’t want to engage in a discussion to defend their actions when others are ready to speak up, too.

Other Things You Can do When Someone Bullies You

Using these phrases isn’t the only thing you can do when someone bullies you. You can try different methods for handling it and ending the mistreatment.

Don’t Let Them Take Your Power

When someone bullies you, they want to gain control over you and your feelings. Don’t let on if they make you sad, angry, or scared. They might walk away and leave you alone if they think they can’t affect you.

Walk Away from Them

After you use one of the phrases, walk away from the bully. Don’t respond again, even if you’re tempted to react. It might help if you imagine that you’re walking away from a stranger. Doing so can help you feel like you don’t owe anything to the person at that moment.

Stay Confident

Bullies often target the people they think are weaker than them. If you stay confident, they might lose interest and leave you alone. Make eye contact when you tell them to stop, and stand tall to convey confident body language.

Maintain a Positive Mindset

It can be hard to stay positive when someone bullies you. You might believe the mean things they say about you, so maintain a positive mindset. With positivity, you can remember your value and worth despite their mistreatment.

When Someone Cyber Bullies You

Cyberbullying is becoming more common and should be handled differently than in-person issues. It can happen via text, e-mail, or instant messaging. If someone cyberbullies you, don’t respond to them. You can save evidence of cyberbullying by printing things or saving them.

Final Thoughts on Phrases to Use When Someone Bullies You

You don’t deserve mistreatment, so don’t hesitate to speak up when someone bullies you. Throughout the process, you must prioritize your mental health and walk away when necessary.

You deserve to feel good and safe, and you shouldn’t have to dread moments of bullying. If someone doesn’t respect your request to end the bullying, it might be time to walk away from them. Put yourself first despite what someone else is going through so that you can heal from bullying and live a happy life.

A Woman Ready to Give Her Heart Won’t Wait Around Forever

April 6, 2023 by Lakeisha Ethans

Dealing with matters of the heart is tricky for everyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. But, when it’s time for women to open their hearts, there’s a catch. Sure, it takes a long time for women to be ready to open up to someone that intimately. But, once they do, they won’t wait forever for your love.

This is not a joke for a woman looking to find someone she can spend the rest of her life with. If a man wants to have fun and is not yet sure he can commit, he’ll probably get dropped quicker than you’d buy that new purse when it goes on sale.

Men often believe they can play all the games they want when they start dating someone. And this might work if the woman is uninterested in creating a strong bond with someone. But if she wants to settle down and build a meaningful with someone, she won’t waste her time on someone who isn’t a hundred percent in.

Maybe she’ll give her date a couple of chances to redeem themself and prove they are in for the long game. But if you don’t prove you are ready to treat her how she deserves, she’ll move on to the next prospect. So, if women aren’t willing to wait forever, what is their approach to dating and finding love?

How Do Women Approach Dating?

Fundamentally, all humans have the same needs. We all want to surround ourselves with people who care about us and will be there through thick and thin. Biologically speaking, the needs of both sexes are the same, with a few differences, but those differences don’t hold much weight. But what makes men and women want and need different things isn’t biology and differences in their DNA.

It’s societal expectations and how people are raised based on sex and gender. For example, men are often taught that emotions have no place in their life and that a man who falls in love is weak. Because of that, many of them have a dubious approach toward dating.

The Emotionally Detached Man Phenomenon

One phenomenon that is increasingly more common in today’s society is the rise of the emotionally detached man who attracts dozens of women but doesn’t go further than a fling. This is because men are taught not to allow themselves to fall for someone. This cultural aspect around men and dating implies that men who only date casually are “true men.”

These kinds of ideas affect all sorts of societal interactions. For example, in groups of men, you’ll see how they congratulate one another for “scoring” and managing to have a fling with yet another woman. On the other hand, men interested in creating a connection with a woman are often made fun of and considered too emotional or weak.

This is not to say that men are somehow the root of all evil. On the contrary, they are victims of all kinds of dubious ideologies and societal expectations. And this affects the way they relate to women and how they interact with a potential love interest. On the other hand, women are more likely to date with their hearts rather than letting the physical aspect take the lead.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t girls out there who date casually. Many women want a “no strings attached” kind of relationship. But, once they get that phase out of their system, they will not wait around. Instead, they will put themselves out there and look for a meaningful connection. And while this is an objectively better approach, it’s also easier for women to look for this connection without judgment.

Is Being Single Incomplete?

Every female grows up hearing that they should find love and strive for a relationship that will last a lifetime. But that doesn’t mean women have it easy on the dating scene. They are considered “easy” and looked down on if they have too many casual flings. On the other hand, if they decide to be single, they will be bugged with questions regarding their decision by everyone they know.

Unfortunately, a single woman is pitied and seen as having an incomplete life. So, often, they feel forced to be with someone, even if they don’t love that person. But, once a woman understands what her heart wants, she won’t allow others to bring her down. If she opens her heart, she will fight to find the love she always envisioned.

And she won’t wait for the perfect partner to fall into her lap. Instead, she’ll put herself out there and look for someone to make her happy. And she won’t wait for someone who doesn’t know how to treat her right. A woman wants to be respected and treated like an equal by her partner. So the idea that women will sit by a man’s side and look pretty has long been thrown out the window.

So, most women no longer stand for someone treating them like they are inferior. Not to mention that this isn’t what love is about. Love doesn’t mean having someone to cook and clean for you. And women are becoming more aware of their worth and how they should be treated. This is why they won’t give their heart to just anyone. But how do women know they are ready to open their hearts and fall in love?

3 Signs That a Woman Is Ready To Give Her Heart (and She Won’t Wait Around Forever)

1. She Is Happy with Where She Is in Life

Some of the best love stories are about childhood sweethearts who have always known they were meant to be. But that doesn’t mean everyone will find their soulmate before finishing high school. And women aren’t usually interested in opening their hearts when they aren’t yet happy with their life.

If a woman dreams of having a career and becoming successful, she will focus on achieving that before dating anyone seriously. Or if she wants to travel the world, be around her family, focus on their friends, or achieve anything else in her life, that’s what she’ll focus on. If she’s not happy with her life and feels like she can still achieve more before settling down, don’t expect her to go falling in love with the first man who buys her a drink.

Once she is happy with her achievements, she will start dating seriously to settle down. But she won’t deal with men who don’t want to support and commit to her. After all her hard work, she knows better than to waste her time on people who don’t deserve her. No matter how attractive, wealthy, or seemingly perfect the guy is, he won’t get the girl if he isn’t ready to commit.

2. A Woman Who Wants to Share Her Heart Knows Her Worth

Many women end up dating the wrong person because they don’t believe they are worthy of having a nice, loving relationship. There are many reasons why someone might feel unlovable. But it usually concerns that others made them feel small all their life. It doesn’t make a difference, whether it’s because of family, friends, or past relationships.

The effects are the same. Plus, the standards for women in today’s society are near impossible. They have to be thin but not too thin. They have to be beautiful, but if they are too beautiful, people will assume they are not smart. Considering all this pressure, it’s easy to understand how a woman might feel unworthy of love.

But, once a woman starts being kind to herself and understands that she is worthy of having everything she wants, that’s when she’ll be ready to open up her heart. But, because of how much she had to work to reach that level of self-confidence, she won’t let a random guy destroy it by playing her and refusing to commit. When looking for love, she will look for someone who can make her feel special and worthy.

3. She Refuses to Have Her Heart Played With

Falling in love with someone means knowing they have the power to break your heart but trusting them not to. That’s why true love is the scariest thing anyone could ever experience. While women are ready to entrust someone with their hearts, one thing they won’t do is entrust it to someone who will toy with it. Or at least that’s not something a woman ready to move on to the next step of her romantic life is willing to do.

Young girls fall for the wrong guys all the time. Even older women can make this mistake. That usually happens because unresolved trauma keeps them from seeing how much they are worth. But a sure sign that a woman is ready to find the right one for her is when she stops entertaining the wrong type of men. When casual flings and flirting matter less to her, you can be sure she wants to find the partner she deserves.

Final Thoughts on Signs That Woman Who’s Ready to Give Her Heart Won’t Wait Around Forever

Both men and women struggle with dating and trying to find true love. But, while men seem content in never settling down and jumping from one fling to the next, that’s not how women approach things. Women usually want more from dating than just a physical connection.

And, while there’s nothing wrong with a consensual, casual relationship, that’s not what a woman wants. She wants to find someone to whom she can give her heart and who treats her the way she deserves. Sure, some women are down for casual.

But some signs a woman might be looking for more is when she knows what she wants and is not afraid to get it. She won’t settle for a bad match if she’s happy with all other aspects of her life and knows her worth. She’ll refuse to have her heart played with. If she falls for anyone, that person will probably be the one for her.

12 Questions Men Secretly Want to Ask in a Relationship

April 6, 2023 by Chris Butler

Casually dating someone is one thing, but when guys want to get more serious, they have many questions. Men don’t want to be hurt in life or love any more than a lady, so they have many things they want to know about you. Before a man can commit to you with his mind, body, and soul, they need to know that they can trust you with their heart.

There are people you have fun with and have a strong physical attraction to, but these usually aren’t the ones you settle down with for the long haul. When a man’s had his heart broken in the past, it’s only natural that he scrutinizes anyone that comes after her. Sadly, past relationships always affect the current ones, but it’s possible to move on and have a healthy relationship after a devastating breakup.

NOTE: We acknowledge that, like guys, women also have questions they long to ask but fear it’s too early in the relationship. Because females have different concerns than males, we address those in a separate article.

Twelve Common Questions Men Want to Ask

Both males and females have many questions when they’re interested in dating. These questions can be divided into several categories. The first would be those inquiries where they get to know you better. This includes the things you like and don’t like and learning your preferences.

Another category would be your hopes and dreams and your previous love life. The best predictor of future behavior is to look at the past. Here are some questions that males want to ask before they get too deep with you.

1. “Have You Ever Cheated on Any Men?”

One of the biggest fears people have in a relationship is that their partner will be unfaithful. Everyone has a definition of cheating, and some folks are more liberal than others. Generally, infidelity occurs when there’s a physical act, though some will consider getting emotionally involved with another person as violating boundaries.

According to a study by the University of Michigan, the numbers are all over the board. Researchers polled 456 people about what cheating meant to them. Shockingly, 89 % felt kissing was cheating, while only 36 % felt that sharing deep secrets was infidelity. When it came to hugging, anything over ten seconds was considered to cross the lines by 35% of the participants.

He may feel that opening up and sharing your troubles with someone is overstepping, so he wants to know that you’re both on the same page.

2. “What Are You Looking for in This Relationship?”

To have a successful relationship, males need you to go in the same direction. If you want marriage and kids, and he’s thinking of traveling the world and living together, it will probably cause problems.

Men want to know before they get too far invested that you have similar life goals. It doesn’t mean that you couldn’t have a great relationship if you differ, but if your plans don’t align, it’s likely to cause significant issues.

3. “What Happened in Your Last Relationship?”

Since looking at the past can be very helpful, men want to know why the last relationship failed. Did they cheat on you, or did you drive them to madness by nagging and suffocating their time? This is where you want to be honest, but being honest doesn’t mean saying everything you know.

Everyone makes mistakes in life and love, and you learn from these experiences to grow. Another thing to ensure is that you don’t blame the other party, as there are two people in a relationship, and there’s usually fault on both sides.

4. “Are Your Friends and Family Members Going to Be a Problem?”

While you might think this question is irrelevant about matters of the heart, males know about in-law drama. A study by the University of Utah found that 11 % of couples fall apart because of the influence of in-laws. You’ve seen TV shows and read horror stories about women and their mothers-in-law, but as many males suffer from horrible relationships.

Men want to know upfront if their father or some other relative will be an issue. He’ll have to decide if it’s worth the battle for your heart.

5. “What Are Your Religious and Political Views?”

People have had opposition to religion and politics since the dawn of time. Even the Bible addresses this issue in 2 Corinthians 6 when it talks about being unequally yoked. It’s important to note that religion and being spiritual are two vastly different things.

If the man is an atheist and you’re a devout Christian, it may cause issues. Additionally, if you have strong opposing views on politics and are entirely the opposite, it’s easy to see how this can be a bone of contention. Some people can accept the differences with one another and respect them, but others find this a significant turnoff as they can’t see things any other way.

6. “Do You Want a Family?”

Some folks don’t want children, and it’s not always the men in this position. If your life is focused on your career, you should avoid being tied down with a child. Males also have strong desires to have a family, so he needs to see how you feel about this matter and if you align.

7. “What’s Your Financial Situation?”

He secretly wants to ask you this question because he’s afraid to say it too soon. Males want to know that you have your spending under control, pay your bills on time, and have a nest egg. If they get involved with someone in financial ruin, it’s easy to see how this could negatively impact them.

Additionally, if a guy marries a woman with a mountain of debts, he takes responsibility for those bills. So, it’s only natural that he wants to know about your financial status.

8. “Do You Have Any Major Health Issues?”

While having health issues isn’t a dealbreaker, it’s only fair that males know what they’re getting into. He needs to know if you have a severe illness of some kind and have been hospitalized five times.

He wants to know if you have a medical condition that will prohibit you from having children. It’s not fair to keep guys in the dark about such things until after you’ve walked down the aisle.

9. “What Are Your Coping Skills, Particularly With the Men in Your Life?”

Having healthy coping skills is imperative in such a chaotic world. If you hit the bar or the casino when life gets you down, you can see how this might be a red flag for him.

Guys who invest a lot of their time and efforts into building a financially secure future want to ensure you’re not going to have a moment of weakness and blow thousands. Additionally, males don’t want to drive across town to pick up an intoxicated partner because she had a bad day at work. Some things are automatic dealbreakers, and substance abuse issues may be one of them.

10. “What Was Your Life Like Growing Up?”

You can tell a lot about a person by how they talk about their parents. Males want to know if you had a good childhood or was you a trauma victim. Having baggage from the past can certainly have a major impact on the future.

While going through a rough time doesn’t mean he will run the other way; he needs to know what he’s facing. Your past isn’t a prison sentence, but you’ll forever be impacted by the time you spend behind those bars if it was traumatic.

11. “How Important is Intimacy to You?”

It’s no secret that guys have a high drive for intimate acts. Some women feel the same way, but others can take or leave such moments. This is one area of your relationship where you need to be on the same page.

If one of you is in overdrive all the time and the other one doesn’t want to participate, it can be a disaster. It’s one reason many men look for another partner, as they have needs just as strong as the desire to eat and breathe.

12. “What’s Your View of Men?”

In the beginning stages of casual dating, it’s possible that he doesn’t know your genuine opinion of men. There are a lot of people who’ve been through experiences in the past that have skewed their views. It would help if you didn’t judge every guy for those who are chauvinistic and have toxic behaviors. He must ensure that your opinions on men don’t conflict with his.

Final Thoughts on Questions Men Want to Ask But Won’t Admit It

Communication is an integral part of any relationship, and guys often have many questions, but they’re not so eager to ask. They want to know your view on religion, politics, starting a family, your past, and how you view intimacy. However, they may avoid asking because they’re afraid of the answers or don’t like being vulnerable should you ask questions in return.

When the communication is right between you, males are more apt to ask the things that they wonder about on the inside. As always, it’s best to get these things out in the open before you make a long-term commitment. Once your heart is entangled, it makes things more challenging if you have significant differences.

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