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Science Explains Why Falling in Love Is Good For You

We have all felt the heady rush, the swooping feeling in the pit of our stomachs, and the general dizziness of falling in love. The incredible feeling, not unlike that of going on a rollercoaster for the very first time, is known to make people unreasonably happy and to put a bounce in their step far beyond their usual behavior.

In addition to all of these wonderful attributes, did you know that falling head over heels for someone is also scientifically good for you?

Falling for Someone Makes You Immune to Pain

According to a study performed by Stanford University, being in love actually reduces your pain receptors so that you only feel about 60% of physical pain that of which you otherwise would have felt 100%.

That’s a pretty significant drop in physical pain receptors and can be the result of why teenagers and young adults who are in love tend to heal faster, on average. The work required to get better and get back to your life again is almost insignificant if you are also sharing a great deal of brain with a loved one, especially a newly found loved one.

This can also be why people who are in loving monogamous relationships live longer on average and die in better condition (as opposed to long, drawn-out disease) than their unhappily matched or single friends.

Is That Cocaine I’m Feeling?

Falling in love is such a head rush that we consider it to be practically ordained by God or we call it “destiny”. What other facts could make us feel this way?

Well, it turns out, the brain can. Massive amounts of neurochemicals are released in the brain when we fall in love and the effect is a massive euphoria state, similar to that of the brain when cocaine is taken in.

Is the brain really affected the same way by falling in love as it by using cocaine? According to research performed by the University of Syracuse, it is. It really is. In fact, so many small obstacles in our daily lives are pushed out of the way and overcome as if they were nothing, that the massive success and resulting heady feeling from small achievement after small achievement can extend the feeling up to four to six days after every single encounter with your loved one.

The mass of utopian feelings created in our brain is so strong that we are often cautioned by our friends and family to NOT make any large decisions while in this state.

Can the Feeling Ever Go Away?

Yes, and it does every time, according to Gary Chapman, author of the bestselling book, The Five Love Languages. He calls these feelings of euphoria the “in love high” state which can last anywhere from two months to two years. After this, he has seen many times, the feeling wears off. In this stage, we say that “the honeymoon is over.”

Does that mean that it can be extended? 

According to Dr. Chapman, it can. In his book, The Five Love Languages, he talks about how everyone has one or two primary love languages or a primary love language and a secondary one. The five love languages, as outlined are Words of Encouragement, Gift Giving and Receiving, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Quality Time.

falling in love

By “expecting” the in love high stage to pass, we can look beyond the massive chemical attraction and build massively satisfying long-term relationships with our partners which feel as if the emotions will never die by simply learning how to speak their love language and helping them to speak ours. We fall in love every day because our love tanks are being filled every day.

What Other Things Can Extend These Good Feelings and Subsequent Good Health?

Taking a realistic approach. In fact, out of the successful long-term relationships which have been studied, only a small fraction of them believe in “happily ever after.” However, most of the divorce cases in the world result from the fairy tale mentality that all you have to do is get married and all will be well from then on out.

Lessons from Successful 20-year, 40-year, and Lifetime Marriages? Accept the fact that all relationships, just falling in love or long-term commitment, take hard work, no matter what types of relationships they are and accept the fact that all of the enormous emotional growth and internal maturity will, indeed, pay off in amazing positive results over the years. Expect it to be a continual process, not an end result.

Final Thoughts

Our emotions are, indeed, heavy tools with immense power. They create reduced stress, long-term happiness, better health, and increased longevity. However, like any tool, they must be shaped and trained over the years to adapt to each other and to life’s little changes which add up to big changes over the decades.

Rather than putting yourself first or the other person first, put the entity of the relationship first and continue that heady falling in love feeling for all eternity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCiUY7nnVxo

Relationship Experts Explain How To Deal With A Manipulative Partner

It is a shock to realize that you have gotten into a manipulative and controlling relationship–most relationships do not begin this way. We all have stars in our eyes, things are great, and there are lots of promises that are made in the interest of landing a desirable mate.

Once the dust has settled, you may realize that you’ve gotten involved with a manipulative partner. What now? Has your relationship become more rocky than solid? Here are some clear signs that your partner has manipulative and controlling tendencies:

Your Partner Is Dr. Jekyll And Mr./Ms. Hyde

One minute you are the recipient of such sweet treatment it’s enough to give you a toothache, and the next minute you feel like you’re dealing with the wicked witch of the West. The worst part about this up and down treatment is that it’s unpredictable; you never know what you’re going to get. This is an exhausting cycle to ride with a partner; speaking up for yourself and refusing to put up with such treatment will give you a good idea whether your relationship can weather these changes.

You Are The Victim Of Passive Aggressive Behavior

Does your partner deliberately sabotage your happiness and success? Do they display jealousy over other relationships that you have in your life? Do they attempt to control your actions, attitudes, thoughts, and even physical location? If you are the unfortunate victim of any of these situations, you have a manipulative partner. Maybe it’s time to teach that partner that you care about that there is a different, healthier way of relating to you.

Are You Stressed Out By Your Relationship?

If your partner’s behavior, antics, words and actions cause you stress and emotional pain, you are in manipulative relationship. We all make mistakes, and we all have bad days, but our partners should be the ones that we run to, not run from, as life throws its curveballs at us. If you find it easier to be away from your partner than with them, you are likely in a controlling relationship.

What Do I Do Now? How Do I Deal With This?

Regardless of how long you’ve been in this relationship, it’s how you respond to this behavior and attempts at controlling that will determine whether you are a victim. If you are willing to accept them on their terms and not stand up for yourself, then you can expect the behavior to continue and possibly worsen. Many times, relationships that begin as mildly manipulative and controlling evolve into more abusive situations where one or both partners eventually leaves battered, bruised, and disillusioned about relationships. Something must be done before it comes to fisticuffs.

Common Tactics Of Manipulative Partners

Partners with this way of relating to people “never do wrong”. They may use distraction in conversations and situations to divert attention away from their undesirable behavior. They may issue direct or indirect threats as a means of controlling your response to them. When these tactics are ineffective, they may resort to periods of time where they are deliberately charming, attentive, and deceitful in an attempt to woo you and win back your good graces. This honeymoon period always ends, however, when they perceive that you have done or said something that is unacceptable to them. Don’t fall for it, it’s yet another in a long line of behaviors designed to try to control your behavior.

manipulative

What You Can Do About It

Perhaps the biggest decision you need to make is whether or not staying in the relationship is worth your time and effort. Quite often, if the partner is not willing to change or look at his/her own behavior, it’s a lost cause, and you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of heartbreak and pain if you choose to stay.

Should you choose to try to work on your relationship, here are some things you could do to combat their manipulative behavior:

  • Be aware of what is happening: take a rational look at your situation
  • Set boundaries as early and often as possible: let them know how they must treat you
  • Keep them responsible for their actions; have them reflectively look at their actions and behavior
  • Accept no excuses for unacceptable behavior
  • Stand your ground, and be willing to accept the consequences of your own behavior
  • Get support from others around you to help you deal with your situation objectively
  • Act as quickly as possible to send a message that you are focused on change and working on your relationship
  • If nothing is working, then by all means, get out!

No one deserves a relationship that is a stressor in their life. While you must ultimately deal with the consequences of your choices, remember that you DO have a choice. You don’t have to stay if the situation has become unbearable. Stand up for yourself, believe that you deserve more, and be willing to work together to improve your relationship. If your bond is strong enough to weather the changes, you will both come out better on the other side.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO-TMrAyth4

The Most Powerful Techniques to Build Self Confidence & Self Esteem

Life gets tough sometimes, and self-belief goes a long way in helping you develop a tough skin that can overcome life’s challenges. Studies show that for you to lead a happy and fulfilling life, you need to be confident in yourself and have high self-esteem. No one was born confident, or with high self-esteem, it takes self-initiative to work on yourself and build self confidence.

Damaging life experiences can only shape and define who you are if you let them. You can use cognitive behavioral strategy to talk yourself through self-doubt and build high self-esteem. Often people speak negatively to self; it is important that whatever you tell yourself is positive and encouraging. Even while facing your fears for the first time, it is crucial for you to be positive about the outcome of such an endeavor even before you complete the process.

Here’s how to build self confidence & self esteem:

self love quote

1. Working on Self Love

Build confidence instead of Negative self-talk since its one of the most effective ways you can use to tear down your self-esteem and self confidence. You should learn how to replace your negative comments with positive and encouraging ones. Even though the emotional and psychological wounds you have might not have been self-inflicted, you are the only one who can heal them. As you learn to love yourself, you realize that your perspective becomes positive and optimistic.

Developing self-love can be done by:

• Learning to be your own cheerleader

People’s support for you will only count if you too believe in yourself first. Remember that persistence is key in the journey of self-actualization as can easily be back at square one with just one negative comment.

• Make it a habit of complimenting yourself

Always celebrate your successes and encourage yourself when you face setbacks. Building confidence does not happen overnight; it takes time for your brain to be convinced of the compliments you give yourself. Speaking comments out loud while you look back at your image in the mirror can help as it is you actually talking to yourself helps build self confidence.

2. Surround yourself with Positivity

In order for you to build self confidence, you should surround yourself with positive energy. Seeking out company that adds value to your life will not only help you build confidence but also grow in other sectors of your life.

Surrounding yourself with positivity comes in two different ways;

• Being around positive people

Build confidence by associating yourself with individuals who are positive minded gives you an idea of what confidence looks like. You can even observe a confident person and learn how to show confidence through them. Before you allow yourself to get attached to anyone, ensure that the reason you are attracted to them is that they have a positive attitude. Make sure it is not because they also have low self-esteem. Comments you get from other people might seem like just words, but they carry a lot of weight. Do not let people weigh you down, shielding off negativity will assist you build self confidence.

• Being in a Positive Environment

It goes a long way be in a positive, vibrant environment because it nourishes you and gives you the energy to move forward. The journey of building self confidence and high self-esteem is a continuous and a non-stopping one. As a human being, you are a social being who longs for a personal connection with an individual. It is only in a positive environment that you will be able to meet positive minded people you can connect with. Having a personal connection with someone who has a positive attitude towards life guarantees that this positive energy will rub off on you, one way or another.

Final Thoughts

To succeed in your quest to build self confidence, you should remember to be consistent and intentional. It will not come easy. But putting in all the effort will prove to be worth it in the long run. There are a lot of opportunities in life that you can only grab and work with if you are confident enough. Decide today to make sure self-doubt does not get in the way of tour success. You deserve to feel confident about who you are and what you are capable of doing.

Have an image of who you want to be in your mind and take positive steps towards being that person. Little details like taking care of your health and dressing up might seem negligible. But they contribute massively to boost your confidence. Confidence is armor you wear every day when you feel good in your own skin, it reflects to the public.

5 Habits That Help People Get Out Of Depression

If you deal with depression, you know better than anyone that there is no quick fix to fighting it. Finding your way out of this fog takes intentional and consistent effort to change your mindset as well as your habits. While it certainly is a challenge to escape this time in your life, that doesn’t mean it is impossible.

Getting Out of Depression

“If you are broken, you do not have to stay broken” — Selena Gomez

Fighting any depressive tendencies often feels like a never-ending battle. When you think you’ve won, that familiar dark cloud comes creeping back. To find a way out of my own darkness, I learned that making a few key lifestyle changes helped shift my thinking dramatically. If you’re looking for ways to change your life and overcome depression, read on.

1. Drink More Water

Believe it or not, your water intake is related to the amount of anxiety that you may feel. The less water your body has, the less energy your brain has to work with. Allowing your body to become dehydrated can easily lead to you feeling unnecessarily tired and stressed out.

Instead of letting dehydration run your life, focus on improving your daily water intake. Purchase water by the caseload and be sure to always have a bottle handy wherever you go. Focus on drinking entire bottles at specific times throughout the day, rather than just taking sips here and there.

2. Exercise Often

You may have heard that consistent exercise helps to deal with depression, but haven’t been able to experience it for yourself. If you commit to regular exercise and a solid fitness routine, you’ll see that your mood starts to lift almost immediately.

In a study with Duke University, participants with depressive tendencies were treated with an anti-depressant or regular aerobic activity. The results of this study showed that of the 40% who experienced significant change, those that were exercising regularly had higher response rates.

If you’re new to exercise or are unsure of where to begin, you may find it helpful to start with a fitness class or personal trainer. Having another person or a group of people present to either coach you through the workout or go through it with you will help keep you motivated throughout your workout. Similarly, working out with others helps you stay accountable, helping you stick to your workout routine.

3. Practice Mindfulness

Making time to be mindful may seem like a waste of time, but it’s an important step in becoming centered and overcoming depression. In a recent study with Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy or MBCT, 84 people that were in remission from depression used MBCT to prevent any depressive episodes from returning.

This is why when fighting depression, it is so helpful to make time each day to pause, meditate, and breathe. This practice will allow you to clear your mind, de-stress, and really focus on the essence of life.

This meditative process works to rewire your brain. By being mindful, you are working to improve your memory and concentration, as well as immediately reducing your stress levels and anxiety. As you go on your journey to mindfulness, consider listening to guided meditations or calming sounds of nature.

4. Keep a Journal

Regularly writing in a journal will help you to work through any stressful situations you may be experiencing. Writing out your thoughts will allow you to untangle any ideas and emotions that you may have otherwise left unspoken. Consistently about your days will allow you to be become more in tune with yourself, helping to align both your emotions and mind.

Start journaling by buying a notebook or diary that is just for your daily writing. Each day, set aside a quiet moment to write out all of your thoughts. As you journal, be sure you are away from any distractions like your computer or phone. This will allow you to create a totally stress-free environment for you to truly focus on the task at hand.

5. Read for Fun

Reading for entertainment is lost on most of us. While many of us have self-help or educational books to help us professionally, taking the time to read a good book for fun is something most of us don’t make time for. Instead of picking up books that are solely focusing on self-development, try looking for reading material that allows you to disengage from the stress of the everyday.

When looking for books for entertainment, consider a work of fiction or exciting stories that allow your imagination to run wild. Search the Internet to look for new titles that you might find interesting. Developing a new habit of reading will help you focus.

depression

The Depression Doesn’t Have to Win

Breaking free from depression takes work. While you likely won’t get better overnight, taking intentional steps to better yourself will allow you to work towards the life that you want. Dedicate yourself to making this change and never give up hope that you’ll be able to win the fight.

As you start to change your life with these five simple habits, you’ll be able to see the effects of this condition start to wear away in your life. Once these habits become ingrained into your routine, you’ll be able to keep building on the changes that you have made and finally overcome depression.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU2LlJxEdJ4

How to Instantly Boost your Self Esteem: 7 Powerful Tips

Self esteem can be thought of as an art, and when it comes down to it, it’s one which can be learned to achieve excellent results in any endeavor or area of life. The nice thing is, looking at yourself with a sense of respect for your capacities is something no one can take away from you.

The majority of people who are looking for the answer of how to build self esteem make the common error in thinking that letting their view of themselves fall on the approval they receive from the external world will help their self-image.

For instance, allowing it to rest in the hands of significant others, co-workers, parents or even social media. It’s quite a substantial detriment to a person’s self esteem, which is why our first tip for you is that you can’t win self-respect, but amazingly you can generate it.

The following strategies will work as they’ll remove the negative cycle of the low self esteem feedback loop. If you implement these techniques more and more, you’ll notice more and more positive changes!

Here’s the advice we gathered to build self esteem from experts in the field:

good enough quote

1. Believe in Yourself 

At the beginning of a journey for higher self-esteem, it’s good to realize that no two people are alike. As cheesy as it sounds, each person has an individual character and personality that allows them to differentiate from the rest of society.

When we’re young, this can feel like a bad thing because it’s tougher to fit in, but in the journey for self-esteem, one of the first things to know is that you can’t please everyone. Embrace your individuality as best you can because who you are is more than enough!

2. Focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses 

It’s easy to look at all the things you think you could be doing wrong. Science has shown that we tend to naturally compare ourselves to others, in the hopes that we’ll easily correct our course.

But, in the days of social media, we have a distorted view of many successes people are putting out there. You get the successes without seeing all the failures it took to get there. Not only does this have a significant toll on your self esteem, but it can drain a lot of your mental energy and willpower.

It’s now shown that making perfection a priority is not as important as it seems. Nobody is perfect of course, so treating yourself like a good friend is an excellent replacement for such an attitude.

3. Stop being pre-occupied with yourself 

Let’s say someone says embarrassing at work like we all do sometimes, and everyone laughed, then they spend the rest of the afternoon replaying the scenario in their mind and beating themselves up about it.

The tragic irony is that most of the time the other people won’t remember the situation even minutes after it happened while it’s affecting you well past the time it happened.

As the saying goes, angels are able to fly because they take themselves lightly. This realization can free up mental energy for more important endeavors.

4. Avoid the comparison trap 

If you analyze who you are and what you have accomplished alongside other’s lives and what they have done, then you have a negative attitude on your hands.

You’re putting yourself in a losing position because there’s always someone who has achieved more or is better than you in some aspect.

So let’s substitute that habit with better practices.

Look at all the progress you have been able to achieve so far. Compare your present self to your past self. Concentrate on the small successes that we can easily overlook. It’ll both inspire you and aid you in while you build self esteem.

5. Deal with setbacks more positively. 

When you’re leaving your comfort zone, on the path to greater success than you’ve seen so far with anything that’s genuinely meaningful to you, then you’ll inevitably encounter roadblocks.

Just because you’ve failed doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You miss every shot you don’t take as the saying goes.

So keep that in mind when you falter and give this a shot:

Instead of treating yourself negatively, challenge that and ask yourself: How might a family member or friend help me in kind of situation? Or how would you support a sibling with something like this?

It allows you to look at your challenges in more favorable light when you talk to yourself like someone who has your best interests in mind

6. Try something new. 

When you’re trying something for the first time, or if you challenge yourself in a small or more significant way and leave the place of comfort you’ve settled in, then your self esteem automatically rises.

It’s something to admire about yourself, and it helps you find your strength as your beating complacency.

So leave the daily things you’ve fallen into behind. Don’t have expectations, rather have the intention of just seeing if you’ll like the new activity.

Like always, if something feels too tricky then try not to get too frustrated. Smaller, more manageable steps that are more long-term are better than sporadic short-term efforts.

7. Remember your why 

What is an easy way to remain consistent with something? Like we discussed before: to recognize the most motivating purposes for why you’re doing it.

This simple thought experiment of self-reminders with reasons that resonate have done wonders for us. We hope it’ll produce the same results for you.

Ultimately, nothing is more important for what you’ll be able to do in life than how you think and feel about yourself. These tips are the best way to take control of your life and your overall happiness, thank you for reading about how to build self esteem!

How to Start your Day with Gratitude to Make your Life Better

Gratitude is one of the most powerful human emotions, but most of us don’t do enough to harness it. In fact, it’s easy to get out of the habit of feeling grateful for much of anything at all. If you haven’t given much thought lately to all the good things in your life, it might be time to change that by training yourself to choose a grateful mindset over a negative one.

Adopting a morning gratitude practice can make a huge difference in your overall mood and outlook on life. When you take the time to practice gratitude intentionally every day, a grateful mindset will become a habit – and you might find that your life improves dramatically. Being thankful for what you have helps you to shed any negativity you’re carrying around and open yourself up to the positive side of life. Here’s how you can incorporate gratitude into your morning routine.

How to Start Your Day with Gratitude to Make Your Life Better

1. Get a journal.

It’s easiest to build and maintain a grateful mindset when you physically write down the things you’re grateful for. Keeping a journal also lets you look back over your past entries, which can be helpful for your personal development. Go out and get a journal or notebook that you like enough to use every day – it doesn’t have to be fancy.

2. Just start writing.

You might not be sure what to write at first, and that’s fine. Write the first thing that comes to mind. There are no rules for practicing thankfulness – you can do it any way you want. One method many people follow is writing out a list of five or ten things you’re thankful for every day.

gratitude quote

3. Pay attention to the little things.

Not everything you write in your journal has to be big and life-altering. In fact, most of what you write about will probably involve the smaller details of life, such as a nice meal, a hot shower, or a beautiful morning sky. Nothing is too small or trivial to include in your entries.

4. Remind yourself to be thankful as you carry out your daily routine.

In addition to writing in a journal, try practicing mindful thankfulness as you go about your daily activities. For instance, take an extra moment to taste your morning tea or enjoy that first breath of fresh air when you step outside your front door. The more you do this, the more you’ll build the habit of appreciating the small things in your life.

5. Share your gratitude practice with someone else.

If you want to get more out of your practice (and make sure you’ll stick with it long-term), team up with a family member or friend who also wants to build the habit of being grateful. Share your entries with each other on a daily or weekly basis.

6. Think of gratitude as a long-term project.

It takes a while to cultivate the mentality of being grateful. If you’ve been stuck in a negative mindset for a while, it will take weeks – if not months – to unlearn that mindset. Commit to writing in your journal frequently, and try not to miss any days if you can help it. Over time, you will train yourself to think differently, and thankfulness will become second nature to you.

7. Cut yourself some slack if you’re imperfect – but don’t give up.

Changing the way you think is hard work. Even if you have the best of intentions, you’ll likely skip a few journal entries here and there, and some days you might struggle to find anything to feel grateful for at all. That’s okay – everyone is human, and almost no one is able to practice gratitude perfectly. The important thing is to keep trying. It takes regular effort to build any habit, including the habit of thankfulness.

Final Thoughts

The power of gratitude can change your life if you let it. Feeling thankful for what you have can transform your whole approach to living. It makes you more content with what you already have – and that, in turn, helps you connect with your true self and build a life that feels true to you.

Starting and maintaining a gratitude practice is simple, though not always easy. In a nutshell, it just involves sitting down every day, clearing your mind, and journaling for a few minutes about what you’re feeling most thankful for. Over time, if you make this tiny habit a regular part of your morning routine, you’ll find that you start every day feeling calmer, happier, and more optimistic.

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REFERENCES:
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HTTP://SIMPLELIONHEARTLIFE.COM/START-A-GRATITUDE-PRACTICE/
HTTPS://WWW.HAPPIFY.COM/HD/THE-SCIENCE-BEHIND-GRATITUDE/
HTTPS://WWW.UNSTUCK.COM/GRATITUDE/
HTTP://EI.YALE.EDU/WHAT-IS-GRATITUDE/
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