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Life Is Short : Let Go Of The Past And Move On

Things fell apart and now you are falling apart, as well. If you’re like most people, you may be having a hard time coping with all that you have to do while holding onto pain, no matter where it originates from. Whether someone broke your heart or you got fired from your job, you may find that you can’t let go of past pain.

While it’s normal to go through a phase of acceptance, you may find it’s taking a long time to be able to let go and move on. I’ve been there. Someone has hurt you and you keep replaying what happened in your mind. You try to understand how things turned out the way that they did, but no matter how many times you play it over in your head, you can’t find the answer. What do you do?

How and Why You Should Let Go Of Past Pain or Anger

If you here, you are probably tired of dealing with the pain and negative feelings that are a consequence of what happened to you. Whether it’s a relationship or a broken friendship, if you aren’t able to continue on with life, as usual, it may be time to let go and move on.

Staying stuck in a past relationship or failure may seem valid but the truth is that if you keep going back to that moment, you may never reach your goals. Focusing on what went wrong has its place, but once you figure it out, it’s time to move forward with the lessons learned.

When holding onto that breakup or that fight you had with your best friend starts affecting your life, whether it be your dating life, career, or even hygiene, it’s time to take action and let go. The following tips can help you to finally let go and live the fulfilling life that you want to.

Understand why you feel the way that you do. 

Before you can move forward, it is highly important that you try to understand why the situation hurt you the way that it did. It’s healthy to pinpoint why you feel so bad and find the underlying conditions that may be making it seem larger than life. Perhaps you have a pattern of being abandoned and when your partner left you, you felt abandoned once again and don’t know how to deal with it. You may have a hard time communicating with others and when your friendship fell apart, you may have blamed yourself. Once you understand why you feel the way that you do, you can more easily find a solution for it.

Allow the emotions to happen and let them out. 

Some people try to be strong and hold everything inside. While it may be necessary at times, like when you’re at work or caring for your children, it’s important to let them out. Whether you meet a friend for coffee to cry a little or you visit your therapist to express yourself, letting your feelings out can go far in helping you to heal.

Start a new exercise routine or join a class. 

Focusing on something new can be a fantastic way to look forward to the future. Whether you take up spinning as a way to lose weight and try something new or you take painting classes, it will help to distract you and can even help improve your self-esteem after you lost some confidence from the negative situation.

Make a clear decision to let go. 

You may have thought about how you want to let go of past situations, but have you made the decision to actually let go? It can be a positive step forward to simply say that you are letting go. Once you know that it is what you want to do, you can more easily take the steps to do so.

let go

Focus on the present. 

The past has already happened. What are you doing now? Maybe you have started a new job since your ex-partner left you? Focus on how well it’s going and how much you like it, instead of spending your days thinking about how much you may miss your ex.

Get to know new people to let go of the ones who are no longer present. 

It helps to meet new people. While they can’t replace the feelings that you had for your ex-partner or old friend, you will find that they can also bring beautiful things to your life as well.

In Conclusion

If you’re done with waking up every day feeling sad about what happened in the past, don’t stay there. Follow the above-mentioned tips to help you get started towards loving your future. The past is in the past. What is in your future? It’s bound to better than you could have imagined!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVhLd8LiQDY

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Friendship Goals : Tips On How To Get The Friends You Want

It can be overwhelming making new companions, but it is worth it end the end, as friends play a big role in our well-being. Our friends shape who we are, and they are people who are there to listen. However, if you find it intimidating making new friends, rest assured that you are not alone, which is especially true in adulthood. Have you found yourself reading friendship quotes in want of new friends? If so, we can help.

There are many factors that can cause you to look for new friends, which may include a move, a lifestyle change, or simply growing apart from ones you were once close to in life. This can lead you to wonder, “Where do I start when searching for friends?”

Read further to learn friendship tips on how to establish meaningful and rewarding friendships.

1. Just be You!

The most important factor to establishing a new friendship is being yourself. If you partake in activities and events that you find enjoyable, there is a likely chance that you may meet individuals that share your interests, which will lead to new friends. Surrounding yourself with friends that share your interests allows you to be open and enjoy your favorite activities!

2. Get Personal

If you are just establishing a new friendship, talking about the weather can become boring. Don’t be afraid to open up and talk about deeper topics. According to research, this is known as the “Fast Friends” method. This is when each individual chooses to gradually tell the other something personal and vise versa. In addition, you can also ask each other questions, such as: “If you could eat a meal with anyone from the past, whom would it be?” This is a quick way to get to know someone and develop a strong bond.

friend quote

3. Set Goals

You may also have success making a new friendship if you set goals for yourself. For example, next time you go to an event, try to meet at least one new person. In addition, opening up will also improve you social skills, which will help you establish friendships.

4. Put on a Happy Face!

Although it may sound cliché, smiling is a powerful way to attract new acquaintances. A casual smile will significantly increase the likelihood that you will be approached by another because you are perceived as kinder, happier, and more pleasant than someone with a grim demeanor. In addition, having a positive attitude when talking with new acquaintances can also help you get the friendships that you want.

5. Don’t be Afraid to Make the First Move

Although it can be difficult to conjure up the courage to invite a new acquaintance out, it is a great way to let someone know that you want to establish a friendship. If you meet new acquaintances, but don’t schedule time to see them again, you won’t be able to develop friendships.

However, it is also important to take note that individuals have busy schedules, so a “no” may be due to work or other obligations. Don’t take it personal. If you feel comfortable, ask them for a rain check.

6. Get Outside of Your Friend Bubble

While you may have went you entire life sticking to one group of friends, it is beneficial to think outside the box when you are making a new friendship. An individual doesn’t have to be the same age, sex, or race as you to be a good friend. In addition, don’t be afraid to make friends with individuals who have a different sexual preference than you. If you eliminate all the factors that don’t matter and look at what a person has to offer on the inside, it can result in you finding numerous lifelong friends.

7. Get Contact Info

There are times when individuals meet at an event, party, or other social gathering and fail to get each other’s contact information. If you are out and meet someone that you think will be a good friend, ask for his or her contact info after you feel comfortable. If you don’t feel comfortable asking for his or her phone number, ask for his or her social media contact info, such as Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. This can also help you get to know about your new friend.

Although we hope these friendship tips have helped, it is important to remember that there isn’t a secret trick to making new friends or getting the friends you want. You will find that bonds will happen with those you naturally click with. In addition, developing strong friendships takes time. A positive attitude and being yourself are the most effective and natural ways to get a friendship that reminds you of meaningful friendship quotes!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlNgf2RRH0U

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Love Quotes : 8 Priceless Love Quotes To Make You Feel Good About Love

Whether you are actively looking for love or are already in love, we all need a passion-pick-me-up occasionally. It’s unfortunate, but also common that we forget why we need love, or how we fell for one another in the first place. This happens through no fault of our own. The everyday pressures of life tend to force us to put romance on the back burner.

That said, we must never forget how to love. Love is the root of all happiness, and without it, we are all indeed doomed to float through our remaining days as hapless husks of human beings. The following list is a collection of the best love quotes created for those who need a little jump-start in the romance department.

Here are 8 love quotes to make you feel good about love:

hot mess

1. William Shakespeare – “Love is blind, and lovers cannot see, The pretty follies that themselves commit”

This line from the Merchant of Venice is one of the most honest quotes about love. When we first fall in love, it can be hard to see the forest from the trees. New lovers are very prone to looking past each other’s faults.

2. James Joyce – “First we feel. Then we fall.”

Although quite forward for his generation, the Irishman conveyed some of the most primal feelings of love in his writings. His novels hold some of the most provocative love quotes of all time. This quote is such an honest narration of the feeling of lust before love.

3. Emily Dickinson – “Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.”

If anyone knows how to create love quotes, it’s Emily Dickinson. Her take on love throughout her works is so hopeful and full of wonder. She pin-points young love to a tee.

4. Helen Keller – “The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.”

When you think of Hellen Keller, you don’t automatically think love quotes. However, this quote by her speaks to the true nature of love. It’s not something that can be bought in a shop or even seen for that matter. Love is a feeling. We can say, “I love you” until we are blue in the face, but if our significant other does not feel your love you are just wasting breath on empty words.

5. Bette Davis – “Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime.”

The best love quotes teach us something about ourselves. This quote reminds us that even after we are no longer with a person that we were once in love with, we rarely stop loving them altogether. Love is not like a light switch. We cannot just shut it off when a relationship has ended.

6. Jane Austin – “You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I LOVE YOU.”

love quotes

No other author’s writings have transcended time like Jane Austin. Her stories and love quotes have become the basis for modern romance films, TV shows, and novels alike. Austin wrote about slow-burning love stories that completely consumed her characters by the end of their tales.

7. Oscar Wilde – “You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”

One of the most authentic love quotes comes from non-other than Oscar Wilde. When we fall in love, we start to forget how our lives were before that person entered it. After years of being together, it gets harder and harder to remember what it was like. When a person fits so seamlessly into our lives it’s as if they were always there just waiting for time to uncover them and reveal them to us.

8. Mahatma Gandhi – “Where there is love there is life.”

This is one of the best love quotes because it depicts love in its purest form. Love is life.
Quotes about love are separated from their original works so that they might lift us up when we are down. They remind us why it is so important to love and to be loved. Love doesn’t judge us on the way that we look or by how much money we have in our bank accounts.
It’s not something you can capture and lock away forever. Love just is, and if you’re lucky enough to have found it, remember these quotes about love and try to emulate them in your own way.

Researchers Explain How Money CAN Buy You Happiness…

“Despite rising incomes, people around the world are feeling increasingly pressed for time, undermining well-being. We show that the time famine of modern life can be reduced by using money to buy time.”

– Whillans, et al., “Buying time promotes happiness”

“I have some money, now what?”

Think about this question: What if someone came up and handed you a non-strings-attached 40 bucks? What would you do with it? (For the purpose of this article, you do have to spend it – though kudos to the savers.)

Hold onto that answer.

Science has a reply to the question posed earlier – and we’ll talk about that more in a bit.

A number of studies have been done on the relationship – if any – between income and happiness. Most studies show that once a certain level of income is attained that permits people to meet basic needs and a little more (e.g. savings, paying debt), happiness levels drop precipitously.

In other words, our long-term happy meter rises faster when we don’t have to stress about paying the mortgage, car note, electric bills, etc. When does this meter peak? Probably when you’re rich, right?

Getting rich may stoke your happiness for a while, but it won’t last.

Not if you’re trading this money for time.

“Well, I’m not convinced.”

Okay, understandable. It’s kind of hard to believe that someone who can buy anything would feel only a smidgen happier than the middle-class household.

Researchers Explain How Money CAN Buy You Happiness…

Now, scientists from UBC, Harvard, and two other international universities may have an answer. Turns out that money can buy you happiness, but only if it buys you more time.

TIME, according to researchers, is far more important to happiness than being flush with cash – and it all has to do with time-stress.

time

Time-stress, which has “detrimental effects” on life satisfaction, is defined as “worry about time, or lack thereof.” Worrying about the number of things on your to-do list; worrying about missing deadlines or being late; worrying about finances and work …worry, worry, and more worry.

Time-stress is linked to obesity, hypertension, insomnia, increased risk of disease, lower life expectancy, and more.

The survey and experiment

The fundamental questions are these: (1)To what effect, if any, does spending money on time-saving measures affect happiness? (2) If yes, does this effect on happiness supersede money the spent on consumer goods?

Researchers wanted to account for certain unknowns (e.g., cultural bias), so they used a large participant group of over 6,000 people from four developed nations. Citizens from Canada, the Netherlands, United States, and Denmark were all involved in the study.

First came the survey. Researchers administered questionnaires containing two questions (paraphrasing, here):

(1) Do you spend money, if so – how much – paying someone else to do certain tasks to have more free time?

(2) How satisfied are you with your life?

The respondents also reported certain demographic information, including:

– annual household income

– number of hours worked per week

– age

– marital status

– number of children living at home

In a second study, researchers found working adults from Vancouver, Canada to participate in a spending experiment. Each of the 60 adults was given $40 to spend on two consecutive weekends.

On the first weekend, each person was to spend the $40 on a time-saving activity. On the second, they were asked to spend $40 on a material purchase of their choosing. Researchers then contacted each person and asked, in simple terms, how happy they were feeling – and compared the responses for both weekends.

“Uh, you might want to rethink that purchase…”

Across every demographic measure (including income), the relationship between those who spend money on time-saving services and life satisfaction was much stronger than those who did not.

Here are some interesting data from the study:

– 50% of people spend money on time-saving measures.

– The mean (average) amount spent per month on time-saving measures was $80 to $99 USD (or equivalent) per month.

– Cooking, household maintenance, and shopping are the three time-saving measures for which people are most likely to pay.

“And maybe that one too…”

What did you do with the hypothetical $40 given to you earlier? (Again, apologies to those whose first instinct was to bank it – but that would’ve been wrong, too.)

Statistics show that about 98 percent of people would choose to spend money on a “thing” than a “service.” More specifically, a service that frees up their time, e.g., a babysitter, cleaning service, etc.

Here are a few more takeaways from the study:

– Greater life satisfaction is reported by those who spend a regularly-scheduled amount of money on time-saving purchases.

– The effects of time-stress are felt much less by people who prioritize time over money.

– Money spent on time-saving measures instead of consumer products drastically increases the overall happiness of individuals.

Now, about that $40…

https://youtu.be/grYB1kV_B6Y

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
http://www.pnas.org/content/114/32/8523.full

http://www.rd.com/advice/saving-money/money-can-buy-happiness/
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/albrecht-stress.htm
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2017/07/24/one-surprising-way-money-can-buy-happiness-according-to-scientists/?tid=sm_tw&utm_term=.a446fdb0eba0

Scientists Explain 10 Health Benefits Of Sleeping Next to Someone You Love

Sleep is essential to health just as much as food, water, and air. If you’re sleeping next to someone, it might even boost your wellbeing, experts say. Despite the snores, the blanket hogging, the unintended kicking, and a series of nocturnal disturbances, dozens of researchers have suggested that sharing a bed with another person has long-term benefits. Here are some health benefits to sleeping next to someone you love, as scientists explain:

“Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.” – Thomas Dekker

Here Are 10 Health Benefits of Sleeping Next to Someone You Love

1. It helps you fall asleep faster.

Does this situation sound familiar? You’re all alone in bed and your mind starts to wander. Your brain becomes active again and you begin to overthink. Tuning out makes it harder for you to get some sleep and the agitation grows. When you’re sharing the bed with someone you love, however, you have the tendency to relax because sleeping with a loved one gives you a sense of security. When your body is relaxed, then you fall asleep in minutes.

2. It lessens your stress levels.

Expert Andrea Petersen wrote in the Wall Street Journal that cortisol levels drop when you’re sharing a bed with someone you love. It also releases oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, that eases a person’s anxiety. When your stress levels are low, you lessen your risk of developing heart disease, cancer, and other serious chronic illnesses as well.

3. It reduces body inflammation.

Petersen also said that while stress levels go down when you’re sleeping with a loved one, the level of cytokines in your body also reduces. Cytokines cause body inflammation and pain. Hence, another warm body in bed relieves of you these physical problems. Who needs a pain reliever when you have cuddle therapy?

4. It lowers your blood pressure.

Researchers from the University of North California conducted a sleep and intimacy experiment with 59 women who kept a diary of hugs and cuddles they received from their partners. After analyzing their oxytocin levels and checking their blood pressure, the researchers learned that those with the highest levels of oxytocin had the lowest blood pressure as well. This hormone seems to work like natural angina medication because it helps minimize the constriction in the blood vessels. Dr. David Hamilton, the author of “Why Kindness Is Good for You,” told Daily Mail about the implications of the experiment.

5. It promotes ideal sleeping conditions.

Your body temperature begins to drop as you sleep. When your body feels colder, the warmth of the person sleeping next to you can help keep you snug as a bug. According to Natalie Dautovich of the National Sleep Foundation, sharing a blanket with someone in bed can get especially warmer. It’s nice to have the most ideal sleeping conditions with just the right mix of warm and cold, right?

6. Quality sleep energizes you.

When you have the perfect sleeping conditions with someone next to you, then you get the best quality of sleep. So, you don’t wake up in a cranky mood or have a headache. Instead, you look forward to your day with more positive energy. Your mind is also clear and refreshed to embrace positive thinking and positive thoughts.

7. It improves your immune system.

If you’re sharing your bed with your better half, it can sometimes lead to lovemaking, which could then boost your immune system. According to experts from Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, couples who regularly have intimacy in bed have higher chances of fighting the flu or common colds because they release more antibodies that make their body healthier.

8. It slows down your aging.

Scottish neuropsychologist David Weeks wrote in the book “Secrets of the Superyoung” that sharing a bed with someone you love and having regular quality cuddle time and lovemaking can make you look 10 years younger, too.  Besides, when you’ve got lower stress levels, your body naturally feels a lot younger.

9. You become in sync with your partner.

Couples who go to bed at the same time (and likely wake up at the same time) have well-tuned body clocks. They become each other’s social timekeepers. According to a study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, this synchronicity can show how much couples are satisfied in their relationship.

10. The physical closeness while sleeping improves your relationship.

mind tricks

Another study from the University of Hertfordshire looked into the effects of physical contact during sleep among 1,000 couples. They learned that those who kept a sleeping distance of 2.5 cm from each other, which means they’ve been cuddling or lying in bed close and tight, generally have a good relationship. At least 86.5 percent of couples in the study apparently slept in this position.

Final thoughts

The benefits of sleeping next to someone you love far outweigh the drawbacks, especially when it comes to your health and wellness. Besides, if you’re in a great relationship, there’s always someone to look forward to when you wake up in the morning, right?

References:
https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702303830204577446342515528860

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2157837/Why-sharing-bed-good-heart-half-snores.html
https://www.medicaldaily.com/get-better-sleep-feet-outside-blanket-regulate-body-temperature-better-help-you-sleep-more-297926
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/all-about-sex/200906/want-prevent-colds-have-sex-weekly
https://russcrane.byu.edu/Documents/Marital%20Therapy%20Research/1991_Morning_and_Night_Couples.pdf
https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/11/26/best-side-of-the-bed_n_8658184.html

If You Feel Depressed, Repeat These 12 Phrases

Before depression medications like Xanax and Prozac were introduced and became the norm for depression treatment, people relied on phrases or mantras to help calm their system and relieve anxiety. The practice of repeating phrases until you feel better has been done for centuries among those who believe in various faith traditions. These phrases are like hymns and chants that implore spiritual and psychological healing, but you can still use these phrases to repeat under your breath as a remedy for when you’re feeling depressed.

“Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret, and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.” – Swami Sivananda

Here Are 12 Phrases to Repeat to Yourself if You’re Feeling Depressed

depressed person

1. I am strong.

It’s a misconception that only the weak and the needy suffer from depression. It’s also a myth that those who ask for help are actually the weakest because they depend on someone else. On the contrary, many depressed people who ask for help show self-awareness, and that’s a sign of strength. It shows that they want to change their situation.

2. I will get better.

Depression triggers hopelessness. Saying these words repeatedly promotes positive thoughts despite your emotionally stormy state. The reality is, eventually, you will get better because the dark clouds hanging over you won’t be there forever.

3. I am still breathing.

Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh believes in mindful breathing and shared a similar phrase in his book “You Are Here.” Concentrating on the breaths you take while chanting this phrase helps the mind unite with the body, thus bringing a sense of calmness.

4. Let it go.

There is a lot of wisdom in the famous words from Elsa, the animated Disney character from “Frozen.” If you find yourself in an obsessive state of anxiety, worrying about things that haven’t happened or won’t likely happen or conflicts that might arise, then say these three words repeatedly.

5. Be not afraid.

Some are depressed because of anxiety or fear of the unknown.

Perhaps that’s why this phrase, and its variation, “Fear not,” is repeated over a hundred times in the Scriptures. Many people, including the non-religious, find comfort in it. There seems to be a healing power in meditating on the words of a Higher Being, and repeating the phrase could pacify anxieties. While the fear is still there, uttering the phrase gives you control over it.

6. There’s no danger.

Depression can trigger thoughts and feelings that might make you feel your life is under threat. Saying these words repeatedly should appease your thoughts and open your eyes to the reality that the danger is all in your mind.  This phrase goes hand in hand with, “Be not afraid. “

7. I have inner peace.

“Om Shanti Om” means inner peace, and it is the most straightforward mantra that Tibetan monks often chant. Invite inner peace into your mind and body to relieve depression and its physical symptoms. You will start feeling your tensed chest loosen up by telling yourself you have inner peace.

8. My thoughts, words, and actions contribute to my happiness and freedom.

This phrase encourages a life of positivity, compassion, and empathy. It implores a person to live as a servant of life who is in harmony with other beings, including nature and the environment. It has its roots in the tenets of Jivamukti Yoga, which shows the path to enlightenment.

9. Someday, this pain of being depressed will make sense.

People who haven’t experienced sadness or pain aren’t interested because they have no depth and growth. While it seems like life is full of misfortunes now, and it’s causing a wave of depression in you, be assured that one day you’ll see the purpose in your pain.  You will find your strength, resilience, and maturity by repeating the phrase.

10. I need to be kind to myself in my suffering.

Kristin Neff’s book “Self-Compassion” had a similar mantra for handling negative emotions. She said it’s vital to acknowledge your pain and suffering so you can treat yourself with compassion in moments of difficulty. It follows the same advice as famed teacher Pema Chödrön in the book “When Things Fall Apart,” where she instructs followers to face their problems, not run away from them. Feeling depressed should help you see what’s vital to your life and trigger your drive to overcome it. After all, life is about surviving.

11. One step at a time.

Depression may spike because you feel a loss of control over a situation that’s causing stress. This phrase helps to remind yourself to beat that depressed feeling slowly but surely. When life drags you down, your best choice is to take a moment to help lessen the weight of your burden. One day, nothing will hold you back.

anxiety quote

12. Trust in the process.

Obstacles are part of life, but depression sometimes leads you to ask questions like, “Why me?” or, “Why does this keep happening to me?” or, “Why is my life so challenging?” It’s hard to see the right path clearly during your most troubled times, but with this phrase, you can condition your mind to see obstacles as part of a learning opportunity. They’re not there to make a victim out of you. You have to trust in the process.

Final Thoughts on Coping When You Feel Depressed

Depression can be crippling but it’s an emotion you can help control with positive thinking. The choice is yours – you can either let this pain hold you back or let this feeling enlighten you. Hopefully, one of these suggested phrases will help you find peace.

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