10 Signs of Emotional Infidelity to Never Ignore

March 4, 2023 by Lakeisha Ethans

Emotional infidelity is when a person in a committed relationship becomes emotionally involved with someone else. In today’s society, this often happens through online communication or social media. Unlike physical infidelity, emotional infidelity does not involve sexual contact, but that doesn’t mean it’s moral to do it. This type of infidelity can be just as damaging as physical infidelity, if not more.

It can create feelings of betrayal, hurt, and mistrust in the relationship. It is considered a form of cheating as it can erode trust and intimacy in the relationship. The internet and social media have made it easier for people to connect and communicate with others. This has led to an increase in emotional infidelity. Many people do it because it doesn’t make them feel guilty about their actions.

There is still this idea in society that infidelity has to involve physical contact. And that portrayal makes emotional cheaters feel like they did nothing wrong. It can be hard to prove that your partner was not faithful when their infidelity happened through texts or calls. As a result, individuals in committed relationships need to be aware of the potential risks. Sure, open and honest communication with their partners can prevent emotional infidelity from happening. But you need to learn how to spot it if it does happen.

10 Signs of Emotional Infidelity to Never Ignore

1. Your Partner is Secretive About Their Communication

If your partner is being secretive about their communication, it could signify that they are emotionally unfaithful. They may hide your text messages, emails, or social media conversations. They might even be using private accounts or apps you don’t have access to. Of course, everyone is entitled to their privacy. But if you notice a sudden change in your partner’s behavior, it may be worth talking to them about your concerns.

It’s essential to approach the conversation in a non-accusatory way. Express your feelings rather than accusing them of anything. Listen to their perspective and try to understand where they are coming from. If you both communicate openly and honestly, you can work through your concerns and find a solution.

2. They Are Spending More Time on Their Phone or Computer

It’s not uncommon for people to spend a lot of time on their electronic devices. This is because the world depends on online communication, and many people use these devices for work. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have some questions if they suddenly seem glued to their phone.

Sure, emotional infidelity won’t always be the reason for these changes in their communication. The cause could be that they have to work more, or maybe they are just talking more to a platonic friend. This is a sign of infidelity only if coupled with other strange behavior. If they refuse to explain why they spend more time on their phone, you can start being wary.

3. They Are Distant and Less Affectionate Towards You

When a person emotionally invests in someone else, they may withdraw emotionally and physically from their current relationship. This can manifest in several ways, including becoming more distant, less affectionate, and less engaged in the relationship. They may also become less interested in spending time with you.

They will probably be more preoccupied with thoughts and conversations with the other person. This can lead to a decline in intimacy and trust in the relationship. The worst part is that they will confide in the other person rather than in you.

That kind of betrayal is worse than any mindless one-night stand. But this behavior could also have other causes. It might be worth considering that your partner might simply be falling out of love with you.

4. They Are Particularly Interested in a New Acquaintance

Another sign of emotional infidelity is when your partner becomes very interested in someone else. They may spend much time talking to or thinking about this person. Sometimes, they will even try to see or spend time with them. Not all emotional cheaters stick to just texts for communication.

Some are actively courting and dating someone else, even if physically they stay loyal. They may also seem overly invested in this person’s life and could be sharing their thoughts and feelings with them. People are allowed to have friends and interests outside of their romantic relationships. But a sudden change in your partner’s behavior is a concern.

5. They Are More Critical of Your Relationship

When a person emotionally invests in someone else, they could focus their negative feelings and frustrations on their current relationship. They wouldn’t want to jeopardize their new connection. But they will probably lose interest in how you feel. So that will make them feel no remorse if they throw all their negativity at you. This can manifest in many ways, including becoming more critical or dismissive of the relationship or you.

They will find faults in the relationship, and you, as a way of rationalizing their emotional involvement with someone else. Of course, relationships can have their ups and downs, and people’s feelings can change. But if you can’t work through these issues, it’s probably because your partner doesn’t feel the need to. And that’s when you can tell if they are emotionally involved with someone else.

6. They Have a Change in Appearance and Grooming Habits

A potential sign of emotional infidelity is a sudden, newfound interest in their appearance and grooming. Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with someone looking after themselves. People are allowed to take care of themselves and improve their appearance. But when a person emotionally invests in someone else, they may begin to pay more attention to their appearance.

They will want to look their best for that person. They may be trying to improve their appearance to impress someone else or feel more attractive. This can manifest in many ways. Some people will take more time to dress nicely. Others will frequently groom and spend more money on clothes or grooming products.

7. They Have a Sudden Interest in Fitness

When a person is interested in someone new, they may begin to put a lot of effort into working out. This is done to improve their appearance and physical attractiveness to that person. They may spend more time at the gym or participate in fitness activities. This will likely take away time and attention from the relationship.

The added emphasis on their physical appearance can make the other partner feel neglected or unimportant. A sudden interest in fitness can have different causes and not always signify emotional infidelity. People may have a change in personal goals. But it sure is something to be aware of.

8. They Are Secretive About a New Hobby

A new hobby could be your partner’s excuse to meet up with their new romantic interest. They may be keeping a new hobby a secret to conceal their involvement with that person. Maybe they tell you they have a new hobby but refuse to tell you what it is. It could also be an excuse to avoid spending time with you.

They may not want you to know about their hobby because they feel guilty about how it may affect the relationship. Sure, maybe there’s nothing suspect there. They could refuse to share that part of their life because they value their privacy. But if they suddenly spend all their free time devoted to that hobby, at least ask them about it.

9. They Get Defensive When You Ask About their New Behavior

Defensiveness is always a bad sign in relationships. Shutting down communication is almost always indicative of your partner hiding something important from you. It might not always be an emotional connection with someone else. But, if you directly ask about their new communication habits, and they get defensive, that’s weird.

They know they did something wrong and are close to getting caught. So, they will do whatever they can to hide and deflect. They might even go as far as to try to twist the truth and blame their actions on you. It’s not uncommon for a guilty partner to get mad and call you crazy for not trusting them. But, if they do this, then you know for sure that something is wrong.

10. They Are Emotionally and Mentally Preoccupied with Someone Else

A person doesn’t have to be glued to their phone for you to tell that they are preoccupied with something. And, usually, you can tell while they’re talking to you that their heart and head are somewhere else. They might not even have any weird changes in behavior. But if they seem emotionally distant and preoccupied with something (or someone) else, that should raise some questions.

They may be thinking about another person frequently. This means they have difficulty focusing on other aspects of their life, including their relationship with you. And from there, other issues can arise, such as you feeling neglected. If they refuse to talk about what’s on their mind, that’s usually a red flag. But be aware that sometimes this behavior is caused by stress or other issues.

Final Thoughts on Signs of Emotional Infidelity to Never Ignore

Emotional infidelity can be difficult to spot. And many people don’t want to spot them, even if they are right in their faces. That’s because people would rather lie to themselves than admit that the person they love is a cheater. But being aware of the signs can help you identify when something is not right in your relationship. And then you can cut them loose before it’s too late. Sometimes, there might even be a slight chance of fixing your relationship.

Though, you shouldn’t settle for someone who cheated on you. Whenever your partner has abrupt changes in behavior, that should signal that something is up. They could start spending more time on their devices, being more secretive, or becoming distant. They might even begin dressing up and constantly working out to impress someone new. Keep an eye on these signs, and be careful not to get played with.

8 Most Important Traits Every Woman Needs in a Relationship

March 4, 2023 by Kristen Lawrence

A healthy and positive relationship requires effort and compromise to function properly. Each person must meet one another halfway if they want a long-lasting, harmonious partnership. Unfortunately, life isn’t a fairytale like the romantic movies and TV shows would have us believe. Women often get caught up in fantasies about meeting a knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet.

While it’s okay to have standards about what type of men you want to date, it’s vital to remain realistic. Of course, men should be respectful, honest, faithful, and loving toward their partners. However, before getting into a relationship, both people should feel whole and fulfilled. Relationships should enhance your life instead of becoming your sole source of happiness.

In the past, most women’s lives revolved around their partners, and they took a more submissive role in relationships. But nowadays, they have plenty of opportunities to expand their horizons and focus on careers, spiritual growth, volunteering, and other pursuits.

Because they have more financial and personal freedom, they don’t value money and status as much in relationships. However, women still desire specific attributes in a partner and won’t settle for anyone who treats them as inferior.

NOTE: If you want to read about the traits men seek in a woman, we cover that topic in a separate article.

8 Things Most Women Want in a Relationship

Below, we’ll go over a few essential traits every woman looks for in a partner.

1. A Positive Relationship Requires Kindness

As we said earlier, women didn’t have as many options in the past as they do today. In olden times, they might have prioritized wealth and success over personality traits like generosity. Since women didn’t have many options to earn money, they valued financial security and status in relationships.

However, times have certainly changed for the better, and women would rather have a positive partner who supports their emotional and mental health. Studies have shown that women find altruistic, compassionate men more physically and sexually attractive. Women want men who treat them well and show respect and kindness to others.

2. Confidence

Women also value men who feel self-assured and don’t have huge egos. There’s a fine line between being confident and conceited, and most women want men who can understand the difference. A healthy amount of pride and tenacity is necessary to reach goals and complete essential duties. Therefore, most women desire relationships with people who are assertive and determined without coming across as overbearing.

3. A Positive Relationship Takes Emotional Intelligence

A woman also requires a partner who feels comfortable with emotional vulnerability and can empathize with her feelings. Women have deep, complex emotions and need men who can support and listen to them. For instance, one crucial aspect of emotional intelligence involves practicing active listening. This means putting aside all distractions and giving your partner your full attention when they speak. People who listen intently to their partner typically have better relationships because it deepens communication and trust.

Women value sensitivity and emotional openness in relationships and want men who are in touch with their gentler side.

4. Honesty

Honesty and trust represent the foundation of any healthy, fulfilling relationship. The relationship will quickly disintegrate if you can’t count on your partner, to tell the truth, or keep your deepest secrets. In the beginning phase of any relationship, women looking for sincere men with nothing to hide. A woman will keep her guard around a man who seems two-faced or deceptive.

Any long-term relationship requires deep, unshakable trust from both partners to stand the test of time. Most women consider honesty one of the most important traits to look for in men.

5. A Positive Relationship Requires Affection

Even if your love language isn’t physical touch, you probably still need affection and intimacy in a relationship. Some examples of devotion include cuddling, holding hands, kissing the forehead, and caressing one another. Most women want men who feel comfortable with physical closeness since it strengthens the bond in relationships. It also makes women feel loved and appreciated when their partner wants to cuddle on the couch or hold their hand in public.

6. Independence

Women also desire men who have their own lives outside the relationship. If partners don’t give one another space, it can smother the flames and put out the fire in even the most passionate relationship. Therefore, it’s important to have a healthy balance of quality time and solitude in a partnership. Even people in stable, loving relationships need time apart to retain their own identities and not drive each other crazy.

A woman desires a man who can stand on his own at times and give her space to do the same.

7. Stability

Additionally, most women find a partner with an established career and clear goals in life attractive. A woman who wants to settle down will naturally ask a man about his job early in the relationship. She wants to know if he’s mature enough for a serious relationship and ready to commit. While financially supporting her may no longer be necessary, she still wants a reliable, responsible man. Any relationship requires stability to survive, so women consider this essential when pursuing a love interest.

8. A Positive Relationship Needs Shared Values

People from different backgrounds can certainly have successful relationships. However, couples need something that brings them together to maintain the relationship. Most of the time, having beliefs and value systems in common keep the partnership going well past the honeymoon phase. Most women will look for a partner who shares their spiritual convictions, ideas about raising children, and general outlook on life.

Final Thoughts on Traits Women Look For In Relationships

Relationships don’t come with an instruction manual; everyone looks for different attributes in a partner. However, most people want the same basic things: love, support, and affection. It’s easy to display these traits at the beginning of a relationship when everything still feels new and exciting. The real test in a partnership involves keeping the spark alive after reality takes over.

So, most women want other traits in a partner besides physical attractiveness and affection, which tend to fade after a while. Strong morals, an honorable character, and confidence can make a woman stick around for the long haul.

5 Things to Remember if You Love a Strong Man

March 4, 2023 by Kristen Lawrence

In the past, most people thought of a strong man as someone who appeared physically tough. They often didn’t look beyond superficial attributes because men had to perform more physical labor. So, it required brute strength and power to build things and lift heavy objects. With modern machinery, men don’t need to use their muscles as much to achieve their goals.

Of course, many men still enjoy lifting weights and maintaining physical health. But today, being a strong man refers to more than just appearances; it’s also about mental and emotional fortitude. A resilient, resolute man will have quiet confidence and won’t need to convince others of his power.

He’ll have the resolve to keep going even in the face of immense adversity. A self-assured male knows what he wants but won’t trample others to achieve his goals. He carries himself well without being arrogant or overbearing, and people respect him for having strong values. A genuinely mighty man expresses love, compassion, and patience, but he’s no pushover. He stands up for his beliefs and won’t cave under pressure.

Do you have an exceptional man like this in your life? If so, you should keep these things in mind about his humble power and confidence.

NOTE: If you want to learn more about the strong woman you love, we cover her behaviors in a companion article.

5 Things to Remember About Loving a Strong Man

1. A strong man possesses high emotional intelligence.

Sadly, many men in the past grew up thinking that showing emotions made them weak and submissive. However, today’s males know that expressing their feelings doesn’t undermine their strength or capabilities. This shift in perspective may have to do with broader societal changes in gender roles. Because men today are more involved with childrearing and household duties, they have gotten in touch with their nurturing, gentler side.

Stereotypical male values such as aggressiveness and dominance no longer apply in the modern world. As times have changed, men emphasize emotional health, kindness, and altruism more than status and power. Therefore, if you love a strong man, please remember that showing his emotions doesn’t make him any less “manly.” In fact, a man who shuns toxic masculinity and embraces his sensitive side shows remarkable strength.

2. He resolves problems with his words, not his fists.

A strong man doesn’t need force or violence to communicate his point. The evolved male promotes peace and harmony, treating others with respect even if they don’t reciprocate. During an argument, he tries to put himself in the other person’s shoes and understand their perspective. He doesn’t believe in yelling or talking over someone to show dominance, as this only creates more division.

The resilient male prefers to use his mental strength instead of his fists to win a battle. A strong man never resorts to violence but still manages to overcome obstacles with wisdom and emotional prowess.

3. A strong man exhibits healthy self-esteem.

There’s a fine line between arrogance and confidence; a mentally powerful man never crosses it. Someone who feels comfortable in their skin doesn’t need to prove themselves to anyone. That means they can get along with others quickly since they see others as neither superior nor inferior. However, an insecure male will try to outshine anyone who dares to threaten his image. On the other hand, a self-assured male wants everyone to win and feels no need to compete for job titles, status, and other egotistical measures.

A strong male knows himself well and checks his ego daily, so it doesn’t get out of hand. He’s self-aware and in touch with his emotions, never allowing them to cloud his judgment or affect his relationships. An evolved male can also handle criticism and constantly works to improve himself in every facet of life.

4. He takes responsibility for his mistakes and learns from them.

A powerful man understands his strengths and weaknesses and admits when he makes a mistake. He’s not afraid of being wrong and will take responsibility when he does or says something hurtful. However, he also doesn’t criticize himself too harshly or expect perfection since he knows he’s a work in progress.

A male with healthy self-esteem will listen to constructive criticism and apply it to his personal and professional life. In his relationships, he doesn’t get defensive when someone accuses him of wrongdoing. Instead, he calmly explains himself and tries to understand the other person’s point of view. If there’s a disagreement, he will attempt to compromise rather than becoming passive-aggressive and needing to have the upper hand.

If you love a strong man, arguments and fights won’t create a rift in your relationship. He will try to work things out with you and respect your feelings.

5. He respects boundaries and expects the same from you.

Unconfident men have no respect for their partner’s boundaries and must keep tabs on everything they do. They may try to control their significant other and limit their contact with others due to insecurity or fear of abandonment. Possessive, manipulative men may seem ordinary at first but show their true colors when their partner wants more freedom.

However, a confident, strong man establishes boundaries in his relationships and respects his partner’s wishes. He would never dream of betraying his partner’s trust by reading her texts or trying to control where she goes.

A strong male understands that a relationship needs room to breathe to keep the fire alive. He’s independent and also expects his partner to have her own life.

Final Thoughts on Qualities of a Strong Man

Many women want a strong man who loves, respects, and cherishes them. But how can you know when you’ve met someone worthy of your time and affection? It’s not always easy to spot an exceptional man like this, but knowing the signs of a strong man can help. For starters, a resilient man will have healthy self-esteem and won’t try to show off.

Also, a genuinely tough man will exhibit his strength in words and emotions, not brute force. Finally, he respects people’s boundaries and owns up to his mistakes. If you’re in a relationship with this type of man, you’ve hit the jackpot in the romance department!

These Three Ingredients Can Help You Lose Weight Faster

March 3, 2023 by Kristen Lawrence

Have you been trying to lose weight to no avail? You might consider drinking green tea mixed with turmeric and cinnamon. These three ingredients contain powerful antioxidants and other compounds that stimulate metabolism and encourage weight loss. Of course, a healthy diet, exercise, proper sleep, adequate sunlight, and stress management promote physical and mental health.

But sometimes, you need that extra boost of nutrients and natural herbal medicine that green tea provides. Plus, it tastes delicious and can get you through the afternoon when you feel sleepy. Green tea contains moderate amounts of caffeine, but not enough to make you wired or jumpy.

L-theanine, an amino acid that reduces stress and anxiety levels, helps counteract the caffeine in green tea. Regular consumption of green tea can aid in concentration and alertness without making you jittery like coffee.

Green tea with cinnamon and turmeric provides an extra dose of antioxidants while also helping you lose weight. Below, we’ll tell you more about the benefits of these three ingredients and give you the tea recipe.

Green Tea Promotes Weight Loss and Mental Health

If you want to lose weight, it requires immense willpower, focus, and dedication. Increased stress levels or preexisting health conditions can hinder your progress, but having a routine and sticking to it makes a healthy weight easier to achieve in the long term.

Adding green tea to your daily regimen will promote overall health and enhance your immunity. Many like to create a “tea ritual” to encourage mindfulness and relaxation, an essential facet of health. Drinking tea before work is best to start your day on the right note.

Living intentionally and bringing more awareness into your routine will positively impact your life. Being more mindful can improve your mental health and help you lose weight. That’s because achieving your goals and focusing on what truly matters is much easier when you have mental clarity. There’s a reason why so many have used green tea for thousands of years to aid their meditation practice.

And the same compounds in green tea that calms the mind can also help you lose weight. Studies show that a powerful antioxidant called epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG) can improve mood and boost metabolism. Tea contains many bioactive compounds, but the catechin EGCG is the most abundant, accounting for around 42% of the dry weight of brewed green tea.

The potent antioxidant can help you lose weight by increasing the effects of fat-burning hormones, such as norepinephrine (noradrenaline). It blocks an enzyme that breaks down this hormone, allowing more norepinephrine into cells and encouraging thermogenesis. Caffeine also aids in this process since it boosts metabolism and helps with fat loss. As the fat cells disintegrate, fat moves into the bloodstream and gets converted into energy.

Cinnamon and Turmeric Can Also Help You Lose Weight

While it’s clear that green tea can help you lose weight, especially harmful abdominal visceral fat, cinnamon and turmeric enhance these effects. A 2017 study found that a compound in cinnamon called cinnamaldehyde can induce thermogenesis and prevent obesity.

This process creates heat in the body and speeds up the metabolism, aiding in fat loss. In addition, other research shows that cinnamon contains some of the highest antioxidant activity among all the world’s herbs and spices.

These antioxidants promote healing by curbing inflammation and stabilizing blood sugar, which can help you lose weight. Since inflammation is the root cause of most diseases, consuming as many anti-inflammatory foods as possible is essential. After all, diseases can’t thrive in a healthy body, so weight loss will naturally occur as you heal from the inside out.

You can also benefit from cinnamon because it’s a natural antifungal and antimicrobial agent. In addition, it improves heart health, combats allergies, protects brain functioning, and contains magnesium and calcium.

Consider adding turmeric to your green tea if you want more health benefits. Studies show that a potent anti-inflammatory compound in turmeric called curcumin may aid in weight loss. The antioxidant suppresses specific inflammatory markers contributing to obesity and enhances insulin sensitivity. Therefore, it becomes easier to lose weight since fat cells can’t thrive in an inflammation-free environment.

Finally, turmeric can fight free radicals that contribute to cancer growth, improve digestion and brain health, ease arthritis symptoms, and enhance heart health.

Now that you know the healing powers of these ingredients, we’ll show you how to make the tea recipe.

Green Tea With Cinnamon and Turmeric Recipe

Ingredients

One tea bag of preferred green tea (or equivalent in powdered form)
One teaspoon of ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon of ground turmeric
Optional sweetener to taste (honey, stevia, etc.)

Directions

Boil one glass of water or heat in the microwave for one to two minutes.
Add in the cinnamon and turmeric and boil for a few minutes.
If you use a microwave, add the above after heating the water and let the tea steep for about five minutes.
Mix the ingredients with a spoon, add your sweetener, and enjoy!

Ideally, you should drink this tea in the morning since it contains caffeine. Also, drinking green tea at this time will help you lose weight since you have a faster metabolism upon awakening. You might find it a worthy replacement for your morning cup of joe!

Final Thoughts on Three Ingredients to Help You Lose Weight

You may already drink green tea daily to enhance focus and encourage weight loss. However, if you want to lose weight faster, consider adding cinnamon and turmeric to your tea. These ingredients boost your metabolism since they contain compounds that activate fat-burning hormones. Not to mention, the caffeine in green tea promotes a healthy weight because it speeds up your metabolic rate and burns fat.

Together, these three ingredients create a potent fat-burning recipe to help you lose weight and promote overall health. Green tea will quickly become a staple in your daily routine once you notice the benefits of this powerful beverage.

Science Explains Why Families With 4 (or More) Kids Are Happiest

March 3, 2023 by Kristen Lawrence

Have you always admired large families and dreamed of having your own someday? If so, you should feel optimistic about the future since research shows big families are the happiest. Living with so many children isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but the positives may outweigh the negatives.

When deciding how many kids to have, some parents hesitate to have more than one or two. When thinking about the ideal family size, they may worry about finances, stress, time constraints, and their relationship. These are valid concerns, but it’s also worth considering the benefits of having more little ones running around.

Children will always have someone to play with, so they’ll never feel lonely. Also, older siblings can help with household chores and babysit when their parents need time alone. Plus, having a large family can feel safe and comforting for children navigating the fast-paced world. Since we lived in tribes not long ago, it doesn’t seem too farfetched to have sizable families.

Both parents and children can benefit from the strong bonds and security that sizable families provide. Read on to find out why having at least four children can bring joy into your life.

Study Reveals Higher Life Satisfaction Among Large Families

It may surprise you that larger families seem happier than those with only one or two children. After all, children are loud, chaotic, and expensive, right? Sure. But they’re also lovable, funny, sweet, and can add meaning to your life. As they say, nothing worth having comes easily, and many parents say it’s rewarding to have children despite the struggle.

Furthermore, according to Australia’s Edith Cowan University research, parents of four children or more seem the most satisfied. Dr. Bronwyn Harman, a professor at the university’s School of Psychology and Social Science, performed the analysis over five years.

Throughout her career, she’s interviewed thousands of families to determine what factors increase well-being, resilience, and social support. The study cited is part of the Hestia Project, which investigates contemporary Australian families’ issues. Harman’s research aims to understand the life experiences and satisfaction levels among the following types of families:

teenage parents;
mothers of advanced maternal age;
single mothers and fathers;
stepparents;
parents who identify as LGBTQI+;
parents of large families;
parents of a child with a disability;
and parents who live in rural, remote, and regional areas.

After talking with hundreds of families, she asked the parents to complete questionnaires about their home lives. Parents had to answer questions about their self-esteem, confidence levels, social support, resilience, and perceived well-being. Harman then ranked the parents according to the scores on their questionnaires.

Overall, parents with four or more children had the highest life satisfaction, followed closely by parents who identified as LGBTQ. Single fathers reported being the least happy group and felt that people viewed them as the ‘lesser parent.’

The survey answers revealed that single dads often get blamed for breaking up families, even if they weren’t responsible. It’s also more challenging for them to take off work to watch their children. Despite these setbacks, single dads with grown children didn’t regret their situation and had strong relationships with their children.

Why Families With Four or More Children Are Happiest

So, what factors contribute the most to large families being the happiest bunch? In an interview with ABC Australia News, Harman explains what she believes plays the most significant role in their life satisfaction.

“With large families, we think they have social support within the family,” she said. “The kids are never bored, they have someone to play with and they get independence quite early on.”

Furthermore, she discovered through her research that most parents planned to have large families in advance. That way, they had no surprises and could fully enjoy their children without additional stress.

Of course, they still dealt with financial struggles, time constraints, and the general chaos in a large family. But, the parents still felt happy with their decision and wouldn’t change it for the world.

“Parents accept that there is chaos in their lives but it does not negate the happiness they get from their families,” Dr. Harman continued.

Not to mention, government programs and services often help large families who struggle with food, housing, and other expenses. That takes some of the financial burdens off their shoulders so they can devote more resources to their families.

However, regardless of the parent’s income, gender, age, or living situation, Harman said consistency, boundaries, and love matter the most. Her research discovered that while family makeup affects parents’ life satisfaction, it doesn’t impact a child’s upbringing. As long as children have love, support, and discipline, they have a solid foundation in life.

Even money doesn’t make a difference in a child’s happiness if they have adequate food, shelter, and clothing. Above all else, children need genuine love and care, not toys and other material items. So, parents who desire large families should feel more confident about their dream, thanks to Dr. Harman’s rigorous research.

It’s also worth noting that children who grow up with multiple siblings have to learn values like generosity and independence earlier in life. For example, kids must often share toys while playing and accept hand-me-downs in large families. They also become more self-reliant since their parents must attend to the younger children first. Therefore, the older siblings know they must do something themselves if they want it.

Final Thoughts on Why Big Families Are Best

Everyone thinks of families differently based on their values and life experiences. Some people want to have one or two children, while others desire a house full of them. And many people want to remain childless due to finances, relationship status, or personal reasons.

However, if you want kids, pay attention to research from Perth’s Edith Cowan University. Dr. Bronwyn Harman, a pioneering professor and psychologist at the university, found that families with four or more children are happiest. After interviewing thousands of families over five years, she discovered that these families had the greatest resilience, well-being, and social support.

Mom of 5 Explains 9 Differences Between Discipline and Punishment of Children

March 3, 2023 by Sarah Barkley

Understanding the differences between discipline and punishment can help you do better as a parent. Many people believe discipline and punishment are the same, but that’s not the case, and there are many differences.

When a caregiver understands the differences, the child can experience improved development and embrace long-term benefits. Correcting your child’s detrimental behavior is essential, but it’s about how you go about it.

Discipline can be a teaching tool that helps your child build the skills they need for success and growth. On the other hand, punishment doesn’t help them learn or build skills, interfering with your efforts and harming your child.

Differences Between Discipline and Punishment of Children

Some of the differences between the two include the following:

1 – Impact on Behavior

Discipline teaches children to make better choices and be a positive part of society. It helps them learn how to behave around others and what will help them excel in their experiences.

They’ll learn problem-solving skills and how to deal with uncomfortable emotions. It’ll also help them learn from mistakes and how to deal with feelings like anger and disappointment.

Additionally, it teaches them to follow the rules and exhibit desirable behavior. It doesn’t inflict suffering on them for their behavior.

With punishment, a child might correct their behavior momentarily, but it doesn’t lead to long-term behavior improvement. It doesn’t help them learn from their mistakes or determine how to do better next time.

Sometimes it’ll seem to work, but it’s because you’ve scared them into behaving when you’re around. Since you can’t always be with them, you must help them build skills to make better choices when you aren’t around.

2 – Impact on Education and Learning

Experts found a correlation between punishment and children’s academic performance. It shows that restricting activities unrelated to school performance and lecturing your child can decrease learning potential and achievement. Children who receive discipline and warm interactions have the opposite experience.

3 – Judgement and shame

Discipline teaches children that they should feel guilty for mistreating others without shaming them. Avoiding negative comments and shame is essential because it helps a child feel better about themselves, encouraging better choices. It’ll give them the confidence to manage their behavior and make good decisions.

4 – Punishment can Have the Opposite Effect of What You Wanted

Children are curious and often fearless, and punishment can sometimes cause your child to rebel. They might do the opposite of what you wanted because they don’t respond well to that consequence.

Punishment doesn’t teach children to behave around others. Getting spanked doesn’t teach your child to resolve things peacefully because it’ll make them think it’s okay to hit others. Your child might wonder why it’s okay for you to hit them, but they can’t put their hands on others.

Punishing your child can make children angry at someone else rather than understanding why their behavior was unacceptable. It can also make them think they aren’t in control of their behavior and need others to tell them how to act. Making your child sit in time-out for an extended time will cause them to focus on getting revenge rather than learning why their behavior was unacceptable.

5 – Consequences

Discipline does involve time-outs and losing privileges, contrary to what others often believe. The consequences involve a situation related to the problem that can help them make better decisions. It also includes giving clear rules and consistent outcomes when children betray their expectations.

When disciplining your child, you’ll use positive methods to teach children right from wrong. It might involve reward systems and praise to help your children learn to do the right thing.

Positive reinforcement can urge children to do well and exhibit positive behavior with clear incentives. It can help prevent behavior issues and help children learn from their mistakes.

On the other hand, punishment may involve consequences with no time limit or unrelated to the behavior. One example is that punishing a child includes taking things away indefinitely, while discipline will have a time limit, such as 24 hours of restrictions.

6 – Changes How Children Think About Themselves

Punishment also changes how a child thinks about themselves, making it harder for them to move past mistakes. It can make your child believe they’re bad, leading to detrimental behaviors because that’s how they think they should behave. This option is often degrading and doesn’t help your child build better habits and have negative thoughts about themselves instead.

7 – Your Intentions

Punishment makes the child suffer. It uses penalties to make your child pay for their mistakes, and it often stems from the caregiver’s frustration.

However, other times punishment comes from desperation when trying to get your child to make better choices. You might feel like you’ve exhausted all options aside from yelling, spanking, removing privileges, and sending messages. It’s about controlling your child instead of teaching them how to make better choices.

Discipline works to help your child learn and do better in the future. You won’t want to hurt or judge them for their mistakes. Instead, you want to help them grow so they have the skills for the future.

8 – Effects on Relationships

Using discipline methods improves relationships between children and parents. A good relationship can encourage your child to reduce attention-seeking behavior. Your child is more likely to succeed when they have a close relationship with you.

Frequent punishment can lead to children bullying others or getting bullied themselves. They’ll struggle to get along with others because they’ve witnessed intimidating behavior from caregivers. It can also lead to them believing abusive behavior is normal and acceptable.

9 – Interferes with Their Brain and Creates Fear

Discipline helps your child think constructively. On the other hand, punishment can harm your child’s brain and create fear, leading to further problems.

You might think time-out, berating words, or taking away things they love will help, but it doesn’t always. These things scare your child rather than help them learn to avoid undesirable behavior. However, forcing this fear on them can interfere with their mindsets and reconstruct their brain.

They’ll let their emotional brain take over instead of thinking about how they could do things differently. Their fear holds them back and prevents them from building skills that could help them. Seeing how you interact with their behaviors can help children recognize what they should do the next time it happens.

When a child gets punished frequently, they can’t access their thinking brains. Studies show that punishments like spanking can lead to problems with emotional regulation and trigger impulsive aggressive behavior.

The associated fear also increases stress hormones, so chronic elevation for your child could lead to health problems. These issues may include:

memory and learning difficulties
weakened immune system
depression
anxiety
high blood pressure

Better Discipline Strategies to Use with Your Children

Now that you know the differences, disciplining children without punishment is possible. You can get your children to behave without using punishing them punitively. Punishing them isn’t the only way to use discipline.

Model Good Behavior to Avoid the Need for Discipline

Your child imitates your behavior and then learns through observation due to the mirror neuron system in their brain. It leads to people imitating and understanding the intentions of others. Model the behavior you want your child to exhibit, and they’re more likely to do it.

Use Positivity During Discipline

When a child gets punished, they usually spend their time thinking of how unfair it is and how they believe you’re being mean. They don’t typically think about what they did wrong or how they could have done something differently. It can also lead to them becoming vindictive and distrustful.

Positive discipline and reinforcement can help your child learn a lesson in the experience. Consider positive approaches that encourage learning and problem-solving while promoting mutual respect.

Identify the Root Cause of the Behavior

Determining what’s causing a child to misbehave can help them handle it better next time. Ask questions to determine why they don’t want to follow the rules or act appropriately. You can work together to shift the experience if your child has a straightforward reason.

Help Children Understand Natural Consequences

Explain to your child that there will be natural consequences if they don’t follow a rule or get something done on time. It might involve not having time to play or failing a test at school. Letting natural consequences play out can help encourage your child to do better next time.

Consistency Plays a Key Role in Discipline

Being consistent in enforcing rules can help a child learn to behave better. Sometimes it might be easy to give in, but slipping up on the consistency can disrupt your child’s behavior.

Tell your child the expectations and explain the potential consequences. Then, remain consistent in how you handle it.

Final Thoughts on Differences Between Discipline and Punishment of Children

Switching from punishment to discipline for your child can make a difference in their behavior. It’ll help them develop skills to do better in the future.

Now that you know the differences and why discipline is the better option, you can consider how to use it in your parenting style. You can correct your child’s behavior while promoting positivity and life-long learning.

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Differences Between Discipline and Punishment of Children

1 – Impact on Behavior

2 – Impact on Education and Learning

3 – Judgement and shame

4 – Punishment can Have the Opposite Effect of What You Wanted

5 – Consequences

6 – Changes How Children Think About Themselves

7 – Your Intentions

8 – Effects on Relationships

9 – Interferes with Their Brain and Creates Fear

Better Discipline Strategies to Use with Your Children

Model Good Behavior to Avoid the Need for Discipline

Use Positivity During Discipline

Identify the Root Cause of the Behavior

Help Children Understand Natural Consequences

Consistency Plays a Key Role in Discipline

Final Thoughts on Differences Between Discipline and Punishment of Children

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