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These are the Only 3 Things I Did to Deal with Rejection Gracefully

Rejection is one of the most common occurrences in our lives, but figuring out how to deal with rejection is very hard for some people. The first time that I seriously had to deal with rejection was from my high school crush. It took me two weeks to build the courage to tell him that I had a crush on him and although he let me down gently, I still felt like I wanted to hide under a rock for the rest of the school year. I didn’t hide–I went to school everyday with my head held high and eventually I realized that it wasn’t the end of the world.

Being rejected can make some people feel unsure of themselves, unsafe, angry, embarrassed, and a lot of other strong, negative emotions. Rejection hurts and its very hard to hide the pain. Despite the pain, some people seem to deal with rejection easily and continue on with their lives (like I did in high school) but there are others that can’t handle it very well. Some people handle it so badly that it prevents them from trying that goal again for years.

Three Tips To Deal With Rejection Gracefully

Dealing with rejection gracefully is important in order to prevent life from holding you back. Here are three tips that can help you deal with rejection gracefully.

1. Prepare yourself in advance for rejection.

We are always told to think positive thoughts in order to get a positive response. This is true but just because we don’t think negatively doesn’t mean we shouldn’t think about the negative.

Before tackling any goal, whether its asking someone on a date or going on the most important job interview of your life, you should always consider the possibility that things might not go your way. Take the time to consider what would happen if you get rejected. Yes, you will feel bad but what will really happen? Usually the consequences of rejection are short term. Maybe your friends will laugh at you because you didn’t get the date, but tomorrow they will forget all about it. Maybe you will have to apply for another job, but the next job has better benefits. You will realize that the consequences of rejection aren’t as harsh as you originally thought they were.

2. Don’t be ashamed to show your emotions.

Showing emotions after rejection may seem as if you are being weak, but that isn’t true. Acknowledging your emotions after a rejection will allow you to figure out how to cope with them in a healthy way rather than internalizing them. According to Dr. Noam Schpancer, a professor of psychology at Otterbein University, avoiding your negative emotions can lead to you living in constant fear of your negative emotions. This can lead to a cycle of you avoiding the chance to pursue goals for fear of rejection. In other words, you may miss out on amazing opportunities in the future simply because you haven’t dealt with emotions from an old rejection.

3. Keep busy after being rejected.

One of the worst things you can do after you’ve been rejected is to become a cry-baby couch potato who plows through gallon after gallon of ice cream while binge-watching your favorite series on Netflix. Not only will you feel bad about being rejected, but you will feel bad about putting on pounds from all the snacking. If you keep your body busy–house chores, leisure activities, exercise–this can improve your mood. Research shows that exercise (or physical activity that gets your heart rate up) actually encourages your body to release feel-good endorphins that make you feel better about yourself. Before you know it, you may feel so good about yourself that you will likely want to try to pursue the failed goal again.

deal with rejection

Getting rejected hurts–it can sting pretty badly. It is perfectly normal to feel bad about being rejected. Despite this feeling, there are healthy ways, such as the above tips, that you can use to deal with rejection and with the emotions that stem from your rejections.

When you practice dealing with your emotions in healthy ways, you will begin to see that rejection doesn’t have to bring your life to a halt. You will stop fearing rejection and start being eager to learn and grow from it. In the end, you will see that learning how to deal with rejection gracefully enriches your learning experiences.

How to Teach Yourself Sleep Meditation To Fall Asleep In 15 Minutes (Or Less)

Those with sleep troubles know how difficult it can be to fall asleep at night. You can be so tired, but as soon as your head hits the pillow, you find it extremely hard to fall asleep. People with insomnia or anxiety might have even more trouble since they often struggle with “shutting off” their brain to go to sleep. Sleep meditation can help.

While there are many ways to aid in falling asleep and staying asleep, many people are turning to more natural means to help them get into bed at night. One way that people are fixing their sleeping is through sleep meditation. In this article, we will look at several ways to meditate throughout the day and before bed to help you fall asleep and rest better during the night.

Sleep Meditation to Fall Asleep In Less Than 15 Minutes

bed sleep

A Mindful Sleep Meditation

One of the biggest culprits of troubled sleepers is their mind wandering as they try to go to sleep. The stresses of the day or the week keep crawling back, and they might find it hard to shut off those stressed thoughts to fall asleep. One way to stop these thoughts is mindfulness or sleep meditation.

When it comes to sleep meditation tips, there are several things you can do. While laying in your bed, focus on one part of your life that you want to look at and deal with. Consider the issue for a few moments, then let the issue go. The act of focusing on something and then setting it free is complete sleep meditation mindfulness, and it is one of the many sleep meditation benefits.

Some people choose to keep a journal where they can write down all of their thoughts and stresses from the day, letting go of them through writing. This is the same as sleep meditation mindfulness, and it is an effective way to relax the mind and fall asleep. Processing things before turning the light off can also help calm down your mind since you can’t do anything else after the light has turned off.

Abdominal Breathing Techniques

Much like yoga, this act of breathing is a calming experience that relaxes not only the body but also the mind, and it provides more of those sleep meditation benefits. Start by paying attention to your breathing, or the rise and fall of your chest. Next, transfer the rise and fall mentally to your abdomen, paying attention to the rhythm of your breathing.

Close your eyes if you want or even listen to relaxing music. This technique is also helpful in a dark or dimly lit space. You can incorporate this breathing technique with a few yoga stretches to help truly work out the kinks in your body before bed.

Just the simple act of focusing on the movement of your breaths and your hands on your abdomen can help calm the stressed-out mind. You can even do these breathing techniques during the day, or anytime you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out.

Mental Imagery

If you’ve ever pictured your happy place in your head, you’ve already tried something called guided mental imagery. While laying in bed, imagine something calm and peaceful like the gentle ocean waves or a gentle rain shower in the mountains. Some even picture the clouds moving across the sky.

No matter what you picture, the act of picturing a place that feels comfortable, relaxing, and safe to you is important. This imagery in your head helps calm your mind from the stresses and allows you to relax mentally and physically for bed. Someplace comfortable or peaceful is ideal for helping people fall asleep.

Count Sheep for Sleep Meditation

It sounds cliché, but counting sheep or counting down can help you fall asleep. Just like with mindfulness or meditative breathing, counting down helps put the mind’s focus on something else besides the stresses of the day.

You can start by lying in your bed, staring at the ceiling. Next, take a deep breath, allowing your body to relax fully. Then, you can start counting in your head. It doesn’t matter if you count up or down from various numbers, and some even picture themselves walking up and down stairs as they count.

Sleep Meditation for Ultimate Relaxation

As you count each number, take deep abdominal breaths, relaxing your body a little each time you say another number in your head. The act of counting provides a focal point for the mind, preventing it from spinning out of control, which is something that anxious and insomniac people experience quite a bit.

Final Thoughts

These are incredible sleep techniques and sleep meditation tips that are proven to help relax the mind and help anyone get to sleep. You can even try doing several of the techniques together to create the perfect relaxation technique for your needs.

If you ever find yourself having trouble sleeping, feeling a little more stressed than normal, or simply struggling to shut off your mind, the mindfulness, sleep meditation, and more can help you relax fully mentally and physically. You might even find yourself doing these techniques during the day to help you calm down and tackle whatever life throws at you.

8 Easy And Effective Ways For Anyone To Build Self Esteem

Figuring out how to build self esteem can be a very hard task, especially if it is so low that you feel like you can’t boost it. Despite the challenges you face, you are obviously reading this because you want to try, and that is a step in the right direction. Here are eight easy tips that, with practice, can teach you how to build self esteem.

1. Fake it till you make it.

Fake it till you make it means to pretend that a variety of things are bringing you joy. Start small. Practice laughing at jokes on your favorite sitcom. Practice smiling at babies even if you don’t feel like smiling. Go to a pond on a beautiful day, enjoy the breeze, and feed the birds. It takes 21 days to develop a habit so eventually (after all of the forced smiling and laughing) you will find that it starts to come more naturally and that you actually feel good when doing these things. Feeling happy automatically raises your self esteem because it helps you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

2. Volunteer to help less fortunate people.

This almost sounds a little bit selfish. You are supposed to selflessly help people because they need help, not help them to make yourself feel good, right? Well, here is the truth: less fortunate people are appreciative of your help no matter what fueled you to help them.

Helping the less fortunate can boost your self esteem in a couple of different ways. First you will begin to see that your circumstances could be much worse than they are, which will help you to appreciate your circumstances more. Secondly, helping others is an instant happiness boost. Studies show that people who regularly help others are 12% to 16% happier than if they didn’t. Being happier equals higher self esteem.

3. Learn to separate yourself from your circumstances.

Your circumstances are not who you are. Maybe you live in a crappy apartment, but that doesn’t make you a crappy person. Circumstances can change. All it takes is some effort and hard work. Separate your personal self from your circumstances and you will begin to feel a little better.

4. Don’t focus on things that you can’t change.

There are just some things about yourself that you will never be able to change. If you are constantly worried about things you can’t change, then you will always be worried because you can’t change them. Over time, this can be a major hit to your self esteem. Instead, focus on things you can change. It is okay to long for self-improvement. As you pursue your self-improvement goals, you will start feeling better about yourself. Remember, don’t pursue things that you can’t change.

5. Stop trying to control other people.

If you are always trying to gain everyone’s approval, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery. You can’t control how other people feel, think, or speak. What you can control is yourself, so you practice being positive and nice to yourself. Being nice to yourself can do wonders for your self esteem.

self esteem

6. Set yourself up for success.

Consistently missing goals is a reason that many people suffer from low self esteem. A lot of times people set themselves up for failure by setting unattainable goals or by setting goals that are too large, broad, or vague. Change this dynamic by breaking goals down into smaller, easier tasks or mini-goals. This way when you achieve them, you feel great.

7. Celebrate the small victories.

After you achieve your mini-goals, a great way to build self esteem even more is to celebrate the win. This doesn’t necessarily mean to throw a party (unless that’s what you really want) but do something nice for yourself that motivates you to achieve the next goal.

8. Exercise.

Research has shown that exercise releases “feel-good” chemicals called endorphins. This instantly puts you in a good mood and being in a good mood is essential to building self esteem. Not only will you have the benefits of endorphins but you will be healthier, which can also build your self-esteem.

Boost self esteem

Overall, Just Appreciate Yourself.

High self esteem is greatly influenced by self-appearance. It is also correlated with positive and negative thinking. If you see yourself in a positive manner, your self-esteem will increase. So always find reasons to genuinely praise yourself.

This is easier said than done; many people with low self-esteem frequently feel overwhelmed. It’s okay if you have to start small; maybe start with one step and work your way up (remember those mini-goals!). As you get comfortable with one step, incorporate more and soon your self-esteem will be at a solid high.

7 Things That Bring Love Back In a Relationship

We often think that loving someone sounds easy. After all, romantic couples on TV make it look so effortless. Yet, sometimes it’s a matter of training yourself to love your partner in a variety of different ways. Especially in a long-term relationship, like marriage, we tend to take romance for granted and stop showing the other person how much we love them. Unfortunately, this can easily lead to a breakdown in your relationship further down the line.

It’s easy for romance to get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Especially when you have a lot of responsibilities (parenthood, for instance), you can sometimes feel like your partner has become your roommate more than your soulmate. But fear not, there’s a solution to every issue if you approach it from a point of view of self-discipline and positive thinking. Here are some ways to show how much you love your partner if you want to return the spark in your relationship.

Here Are 7 Ways to Bring Love Back to Your Relationship

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

1. Bring the pet names back.

Have you noticed that the romance seems to fizzle out when “honey” and “sweetheart” turn into “hey” and your partner’s name? As much as you might not like those pet names, there’s something very intrinsically loving about using special, unique names. It’s like a nickname reserved just for your loved one and no one else. If you’re not a fan of the typical “baby” or “honey,” try and come up with some unique ones of your own. It will bring more curiosity into your relationship and help you regain your positive outlook of your partner.

2. Don’t think they owe you something.

It’s human nature to be at least a little bit selfish, and to look for reimbursement when you do something nice for someone. Don’t do that with your partner. When you cook a nice dinner, cook it because you love your partner, not because you’re expecting them to do the dishes. There’s really no worse feeling in the world than thinking that you owe someone something, so don’t do that to them, because they will know. Instead, follow your gut and only do good things because you actually want to do them.

3. Spice it up in the bedroom.

Of course, intimacy isn’t everything. Everyone knows that the foundations of a good relationship are much stronger than just intimacy; however, having a good time in bed doesn’t hurt. Intimacy is the best way to communicate with your partner without using words, to convince them that you love them and that everything is okay. So, take initiative – bring some more romance into the bedroom. Maybe light some candles or play soft music to get into the mood. And most importantly, initiate! If you always leave it to your partner to start off, they’ll inevitably feel like you don’t want to do it. So, try it every now and again and take initiative!

4. Don’t ignore date nights.

If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, you might think that you don’t need date nights anymore. That’s wrong – researchers have actually found that if you spend time together with no interruptions at least once a week, you’ll feel more satisfied in every aspect of your life. It doesn’t have to be a massive commitment but try to make some time just for the two of you, where you don’t have to think of anything else but how in love you are. If it would make it easier, put a note in your calendars, the way you would schedule every other appointment. Whether or not you need the reminder, it’s always beneficial to spend some alone time together.

5. Leave the past behind.

Don’t be the kind of partner who holds a grudge or gets too high-strung about the other people that have been in your significant other’s life. When you love your partner, you know that they’re here with you now, and that’s all that matters. But it’s not just their past you need to leave behind; it’s yours too. You might be scared of falling in love because of being hurt before. You might not feel like you could trust anyone again. But the more you realize your past doesn’t define you, the easier it will be for you to feel love again.

negative feelings

6. Avoid projecting your fears.

This is a part of letting your past go, but even if you manage to do that, your fears of abandonment may well linger. Stop telling yourself that they don’t love you, or that they’re cheating on you, and stop overthinking their every move. It doesn’t mean you’re making yourself blind to toxic behaviors, but rather you’re protecting your relationship from unnecessary fears and anxieties. The sooner you realize that those fears have no basis in reality, the easier it will be for you to show how much you love your partner. Besides, fear is very counterproductive to affection, so the sooner you let it go, the better your life together will become.

7. Watch and listen.

You know your partner best. You know what makes them happy and what puts a smile on their face. When the signs start coming through that your partner is feeling emotionally unfulfilled in your relationship, know how to recognize those signs and tackle them as soon as you can. Those can be signs like mood swings, unwillingness to spend time together, or being distant. You will have to address these straightaway; the best way to do that is with open communication. Always ask your partner how they’re feeling and listen to their answer – this is your best strategy.

Final thoughts

Being in a relationship can be hard work, despite what people may tell you. It’s not all diamonds and pearls; but when you know how good it can be, you can always make it work. Train your brain to think positively and show how much you love your partner in any way you can. Soon enough, you’ll feel the fulfillment that you’ve been craving since your problems began. It is possible to train yourself back into loving your partner after passion has receded – and there’s nothing better than rediscovering those feelings.

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/compassion-matters/201602/7-ways-be-more-loving-partner
https://www.today.com/health/30-easy-not-cheesy-ways-fall-love-your-husband-again-t74681

10 Simple & Healthy Oats Overnight Recipes For A Lazy Breakfast

We have all heard it for practically our entire lives: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But between our alarm’s relentless wake up reminders and the ongoing race to get ready before a busy day, there can be little time to prepare a healthy breakfast. Before you plan to gulp down another bowl of sugary cereal or grab another pastry from a coffee shop, learn about the endless varieties of healthy oats overnight recipes and the nutritional benefits that you can reap from them.

These tasty and nourishing breakfasts can be prepared the night before in just minutes. Simply combine the ingredients in a covered bowl or jar and leave them in the refrigerator while you sleep. The next morning you will be greeted with a ready-to-eat breakfast that can be enjoyed either hot or cold, meaning you will not need to sacrifice your morning snooze. Since oats overnight recipes benefit both your sleep and your nutrition, why not give some of these recipes a try?

Vanilla Oats
Sometimes a good, straightforward flavor is all your sleepy palate can handle at the crack of dawn. For those times, try this simple recipe packed with protein from Greek yogurt for a delicious post-workout pick-me-up.

Raspberry Almond Oats
Full of fiber, antioxidants, and vitamin K, raspberries can help improve bone-mineral density and may even help prevent cancer. Pop a few into this recipe which also features sliced almonds for some added texture and flavor.

Carrot Cake Oats
Not only can this vegan oats overnight recipe remind you of the scrumptious dessert, it can easily work an extra serving of vegetables into your morning. You could even add in some raisins and walnuts on top to really take the cake.

Ginger Snap Oats
Keeping with the theme of sweet swaps, try this cookie-inspired oats overnight treat to spice up your life. The combination of ginger, cinnamon, and cloves creates a flavorful and anti-inflammatory superfood that is sure to give your immune system a boost.

Apple Almond Butter Oats
Embrace the cholesterol-lowering powers of almonds by creating this recipe with apples and almond butter. After all, an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Matcha Oats
You have heard of green eggs and ham, but have you heard of green oats overnight? Maybe not, but this 5-ingredient Matcha oats recipe will make sure that you have. With Matcha powder’s long list of benefits (including boosting your metabolism, energy, and mood), why wouldn’t you want to incorporate it into your breakfast?

Orange, Coconut, and Vanilla Oats
Add the immune-boosting power of vitamin C into your oats overnight with orange juice and zest. Citrusy and sweet, this recipe features a unique combination of flavors that are sure to pack a punch. It may even remind you of a low-sugar version of orange marmalade.

Mocha Coconut Oats
If you have some unfinished coffee lying around, add it in your oats overnight for an extra boost. This recipe also features cacao powder and nibs, which has one of the highest antioxidant values of all of the natural foods in the world. Along with its divine chocolaty flavor, raw cacao can help lower blood pressure and cholesterol, among many other benefits.

Banana Blueberry Oats
Loaded with potassium from banana and antioxidants from blueberries, this fruity oatmeal is quick, filling, and nutritious. Simply top your soaked oats with some blueberries and sliced banana and eat up.

oats overnight

PB&J Oats
Try the oatmeal version of this classic combination by making your own healthier grape jam from grape juice and chia seeds. A blend of banana, peanut butter, and almond milk makes up the delectable base for your oats to absorb.

Closing Thoughts

Eating a quick and easy breakfast does not have to be a hassle. Preparing recipes of oats overnight benefits you with extra time in the morning and food that is both filling and satisfying. The base of every recipe – the oats – is already full of fiber and cholesterol-lowering properties, making it the perfect way to start your day.

With so many different flavor varieties, you will not have to worry about becoming bored of the same breakfast every day. Even more, by switching between recipes, your body will thank you for the abundance of vitamins and minerals by rewarding you with sustained energy until lunchtime. So bust out those Instagram-ready mason jars and get to work. Meal prepping for the morning has never looked so easy and delicious.

healthy breakfast recipes

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References:
https://www.shape.com/healthy-eating/4-health-benefits-fall-spices
https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/nutrition/health-foods-az/is-cacao-good-or-bad-for-you/news-stroy/8dbebfb9250786471c54585504ea4f61
www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20331905,00.html#raspberries-3

10 Most Powerful Affirmations That Transformed My Life

You have the power to reprogram your mind. And with that comes the power to rejuvenate your body. Science shows that positive emotions like optimism and contentment can limit the severity of diabetes, upper-respiratory infections, cardiovascular diseases, and more. Positive affirmations can help you harness this power of positivity.

Unfortunately, fear is deeply rooted in our subconscious, starting from childhood. So negative thinking is a big (and natural!) part of our lives. But repeating positive affirmations every day can break that pattern. It might seem silly at first, but repetition slowly changes your subconscious. This translates into a more positive mentality that improves every facet of your life.

These ten daily affirmations can transform your life, too.

1. I am loving and lovable.

Most of us know what it feels like to love another person. But it is crucial to believe that we ourselves are capable and worthy of receiving love. This positive affirmation can improve your relationships with others.

2. I love and accept my body, and I take good care of it.

It’s hard not to feel self-conscious about some aspect of your body. But harsh self-criticism only hurts you and weakens your willpower for dieting and exercise. Encourage yourself to appreciate what your body does for you every day. This will make it easier to maintain healthy habits in the long run.

3. I wake up filled with joy and excitement to meet the day.

Mornings are tough, but affirmations can help. It’s important to start your day with a refreshed, positive outlook. This way you can break free of any rut you might be stuck in. You can channel hope and enthusiasm back into your life.

4. I meet my goals with ease.

Whatever your current goals are, your mental state can help or hinder your ability to reach them. When you feel your goals are out of reach, you slip further away from them. Tell yourself that your goals are within your grasp.

5. I am highly valued in my work place.

Stressing out about work is normal. Dreading Monday mornings is typical. But you need to affirm to yourself that others notice and care about what you do. It will help you continue to improve your work.

6. My life is filled with beauty and opportunities.

Somewhere along the line, many of us forget to stop and smell the roses. Our love for life gets lost in the everyday details. But we still have the ability to recognize the beautiful, weird, and magical all around us. A simple positive affirmation can renew our sense that anything can happen.

7. I look for opportunities to be compassionate toward others.

This affirmation is great for those of us who are well-intentioned, but tend to be impatient or overcritical of others. Luckily, you can teach yourself to be kind and care for other people every day. After all, how you treat others is a big part of your legacy as a person.

8. I am on my own path. I am doing things on my own time.

If you believe that everything happens for a reason, you will not be weighed down with regrets and feelings of inadequacy. Milestones regarding school, career, age, etc. are imaginary. Everyone lives at their own speed, and that’s what makes our life so special.

affirmations

9. I forgive those who wronged me in the past.

This one might take some time. Forgiveness clears your spirit. It unburdens your heart and helps you enjoy life to the fullest. Let go of rage and bitterness and you will feel like a new person.

10. I am the architect of my own life.

This is one of the best affirmations you can make. Remind yourself that you have control. You can change the things you want to change. You can imagine a new life for yourself, and you have the tools to build it.

Closing Thoughts

Repeat your affirmations out loud for five minutes, three times a day–in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Try to breathe evenly as you speak. It helps to look at yourself in the mirror as you say your positive words. You can also write your daily affirmations down in a notebook. If you feel comfortable enough, ask someone close to you to repeat the affirmations back to you after you say them. This will reinforce the positive messages you’re sending.

Practicing self-affirmation has proven to change the human brain. You can make it work for you, too. Choose positive statements that are relevant to your life. But don’t simply say “I want to have […].” Target the core of your fears and insecurities. Unlike wishing on a star, positive affirmation is based in real science. It takes a lot of repetition to undo the old patterns, but nothing is more worth it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apVYj7spM1I

REFERENCES:
HTTPS://WWW.PSYCHOLOGYTODAY.COM/US/BLOG/THE-WISE-OPEN-MIND/201108/5-STEPS-MAKE-AFFIRMATIONS-WORK-YOU
HTTPS://BLOG.MINDVALLEY.COM/POSITIVE-AFFIRMATIONS/
HTTP://WWW.NEINCASA.NET/NEWS/2015/7/4/10-POWERFUL-AFFIRMATIONS-THAT-CAN-CHANGE-YOUR-LIFE
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