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10 Behaviors A Narcissist Shows In A Relationship Before Revealing Themselves

“(The signs of narcissism) depends on what kind of narcissist you’re dealing with. The obvious kind, the overt, or the more insidious type, the covert narcissist.” ~ Jasmin Berrera

Narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder is “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.” A narcissist will often display a false persona of extreme self-confidence that is ultra-sensitive to even the slightest criticism to account for their innate insecurities.

How do you know if the person that you’re dating or have dated is a certifiable narcissist? As Ms. Berrera touches on in the initial quote, “overt” narcissists demonstrate clear signs of the disorder. On the other hand, “covert” narcissists are much more discrete, although gathering “intel” with astute observation may be possible.

Multiple problems may arise when dating a narcissist, but perhaps the worst damage is that inflicted on the other person’s self-esteem. Dating a toxic person can be a confusing, despondent experience that slowly erodes the victim’s sense of self-worth. It isn’t unusual for the person to be diagnosed with clinical depression or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

According to psychologists, therapists, and other experts, here are ten common behaviors that a narcissist displays in a relationship:

1. The Need to be The Center of Attention

A narcissist’s ego is analogic to a semi-truck’s fuel tank: huge and quickly depleted. And guess what? Your attention is the gas station. Bad analogies aside, a narcissist always need to be at the COA. If not, they’re deeply unsatisfied – and when they’re unsatisfied, you can guarantee that they’ll make your life a living nightmare.

2. They Hoard Conversations

Do you notice how most normal conversations involve the “sharing of words?” There’s a reason for this: social etiquette. The problem, of course, is that social niceties just do not apply to narcissists. Combine the need to be at the COA with the tendency to hoard conversations, and you get a partner who won’t stop talking about themselves.

3. They Are Scheming

Narcissists are schemers. If they aren’t actively executing some sort of trickery, they are in the planning phase. Narcissists will commonly make unreasonable demands not only of their partner, but also of their partner’s close inner circle of friends – and even family.toxic

4. They Feel Entitled

Narcissists believe that anything worth doing is worth finding someone else to do it right. While most of us pull up our pants and get to work doing what we need to do, a narcissist believes honest effort to be beneath them. In a relationship, this entitled point of view is evident by their unwillingness to carry their weight.

5. They Are Grandiose

This person’s view on what to expect – in terms of money, possessions, attention, love, etc. – is grandiose and highly unrealistic. Have you ever seen the movie ‘The Great Gatsby?’ Well, the unwieldy mind of a narcissist is laughingly comparable.

6. They Violate Boundaries

Narcissists could care less about their partner’s need for space. This is evident by their complete disregard for the feelings and thoughts of other people. It isn’t unusual for a narcissist to break promises and dismiss obligations – and without the slightest expression of remorse.

7. They Embody Negativity

Narcissists get off on arousing the negative emotions of other people. For some twisted reason, displays of anger, stress, anxiety, and others make a narcissist feel powerful and self-assured. Flip the script, however, and the person quickly dons their rightly-deserved “Drama Queen” hat, verbally admonishing or otherwise acting extremely immature towards their partner.

8. They Are Rule Breakers

Given that narcissists are chronic boundary violators, it should come as no surprise that they aren’t fond of rules. This applies even when the violation of a rule (e.g., a law) carries potentially serious repercussions. In the context of a relationship, they may refuse to adhere to set relational norms like coming home on time, sharing important responsibilities, or meeting financial obligations.

9. They Display a False Persona

It is important to understand that self-preservation is a narcissist’s top priority. One reason why those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder project an alter ego is to keep their perceived “damaged goods” – the person they’ve become – from being found out. Narcissists who are found out typically are not adept at keeping their alter ego under wraps.

10. They Have No Close Friends

Finally, the last telltale sign of a narcissist involves their social circle – or lack thereof. If a narcissist does have “friends,” they are there for one reason and one reason only: to service their immense ego. As normal friendships typically involve a “give and take” sort of attitude, a narcissist’s inability to reciprocate kindness often leaves them completely alone – which is what they prefer anyway.

4 Phrases Manipulators Use to Make You Think They’re Harmless (And How to Respond)

Most people don’t realize when they’re being manipulated. This is because manipulative people are good at what they do. They tend to use certain phrases that can make them seem like they’re entirely harmless. Most people don’t realize that these are the hallmark phrases of an abuser – or know how to respond when they’re met with them. Here are the common phrases that manipulators use and how to stop them in their tracks.

Here Are 4 Phrases Manipulators Use to Appear Harmless

toxic

1. “Look what you made me do.”

This is one of the key phrases that manipulators use. It makes them seem like they’re not in control of their actions. They want you to think you are the reason for their behavior. This phrase can be particularly jarring, especially when the manipulator has done something to punish you for a perceived slight against them. Manipulators are particularly fond of this phrase because it can be used to control other people by making them hyperconscious of their words and actions.

How to respond?

“I didn’t make you do anything”. It is key to standing your ground and letting a manipulator know you won’t fall for their tricks. You don’t have control over anyone but yourself. A manipulator has control over their actions. Don’t let them trick you into thinking they don’t. According to Preston Ni, M.S.B.A, it is vital to avoid self-blame when it comes to a manipulator and make sure to keep the responsibility of their actions on them.

2. “You’re acting crazy.”

Manipulators want to get into your head and make it seem like you don’t know what you’re talking about. When you try to bring up a problem that you have, a manipulator will often respond with “You’re acting crazy”, or something similar. They may also accuse you of being irrational or insist you’re not making sense. This is to get you to back off and to reframe them as the logical person in the argument.

How to respond?

Stay calm and collected. You may feel yourself getting more and more frustrated, but it’s important to stand your ground when it comes to responding to this phrase. State your position clearly and calmly, and refuse to get caught up in trying to prove that you’re being rational.

3. “You’re overthinking things.”

Manipulators love using this phrase to make it seem like whatever concerns someone has are just a figment of their imagination. If a manipulator deliberately does something to upset you, they may claim that you’re just ‘overthinking’ it when you try to confront them. Pattern recognition is important when it comes to avoiding manipulators, and this is one of the most giant red flags.

How to respond?

This phrase may be the beginning of a manipulator trying to gaslight you. If you are ever told you’re overthinking something, trust your gut instinct. Say, “I am thinking clearly, and I need you to respond to my concerns.” Forcing the manipulator to face their actions is a key step in responding to their manipulation.

4. “I’m sorry.”

Most people would be over the moon if they got an apology from someone who had hurt them. But “I’m sorry” is a manipulator’s favorite phrase. This is because a manipulator will use the “Catch and release” tactic when manipulating. A manipulative person will repeatedly apologize without ever actually modifying their behavior. But since they always apologize, it seems like they’re trying to be better … even when they’re not.

How to respond?

“Thank you for apologizing, but I’m not ready to forgive you until I see a change in your behavior.” According to Preston Ni, controlling your boundaries is key to handling a manipulator. Knowing how to say “No” will help keep you safe when responding to manipulation. If someone doesn’t change their behavior, they need to know that you can see right through them.

manipulators

Final Thoughts on Manipulators

“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.” – Philip K. Dick

Manipulators know their targets’ weaknesses. A manipulator deliberately “creates an imbalance of power and exploits the victim to serve his or her agenda,” concludes Ni. They also know how to act and usually have just the right things to say to make them seem more innocent than they are. Being able to respond to common manipulative phrases will keep you from getting caught up in a manipulator’s web.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Easy Ways to Stop Heartburn Naturally

What is heartburn?

Heartburn is a relatively common problem caused by acid reflux – a condition where stomach contents (foods, liquids, etc.) are forced upward into the esophagus.

According to estimates by the American College of Gastroenterology, around 15 millions Americans suffer from daily heartburn. These individuals may also suffer from Gastroesophageal reflux disease, or ‘GERD.’ GERD is diagnosed if an individual reports experiencing acid reflux more than twice per week.

Per Medical News Today, here are some other noteworthy facts on heartburn:

– Causes of heartburn include smoking, obesity, lack of exercise, poor diet, and certain underlying medical conditions.
– The primary symptom is a burning sensation in the chest or throat from stomach acid.
– Most commonly, heartburn has little influence on overall health.
– Treatments include antacids and proton-pump inhibitors (‘PPI’ medicine.)

Medical experts consider occasional heartburn to be natural and not a cause for concern.

Other Symptoms

As mentioned, the most common symptom is a burning sensation in the upper chest and throat. These sensations are attributable to the presence of stomach acid.

Other reported symptoms: jaw pain, abdominal discomfort and burning, and acid-like taste in the mouth.

Here are five natural remedies for heartburn:

heartburn

1. Baking Soda

Straight up, baking soda is a miracle product. One of its uses – actually, its main use – is as an antacid! Baking soda made up of 100 percent sodium bicarbonate; a slightly salty tasting, alkaline white powder. Baking soda relieves heartburn, acid indigestion, and sour stomach by counteracting excess stomach acid.

How to: Dissolve 1/2 teaspoon into a 4-ounce glass of water, or a full teaspoon in one 8-ounce glass. Repeat every two hours until heartburn is gone.

2. Bananas

Bananas have a high pH level, which is vital to restoring gastric acidity to its natural state. A banana’s texture is also great for relieving discomfort of the esophagus, according to gastroenterologist Gerard E. Mullin, MD.

How to: If you’re not a big fan of ‘nanas by themselves, slice half of a banana and add it to your morning oatmeal or cereal. You can also slice a banana and add a pinch of cinnamon powder and sugar (a pinch!).

3. Ginger

Ginger is one of the best-known natural stomach soothers around. Ginger has a few benefits concerning acid reflux; its anti-inflammatory properties are especially helpful. Inflammation of the esophagus is a key symptom of those with acid reflux troubles.

How to: Ginger is quite a versatile food; it can be diced, peeled, shaved, or sliced. It can be eaten raw or added as an ingredient for salad, soup, sushi, and other foods. Perhaps the best way to enjoy ginger when it comes to heartburn is steeping it in water to make ginger tea.

Here’s a simple ginger tea recipe.

ginger tea

             Click this image for the Ginger Tea Recipe

4. Chewing Gum

While this advice may sound a bit strange, chewing gum stimulates saliva production – a natural acid buffer. Besides producing saliva, chewing gum often makes us swallow more often and pushes acids back out of the esophagus.

How to: Well, there’s not much to popping a piece of gum into your mouth and chewing. A couple pieces of advice, however: choose sugar-free gum and avoid peppermint-flavored gum. Also, don’t swallow gum as it may irritate the lining of your stomach.

5. Herbs

Per WebMD, the following herbs have demonstrated some heartburn-relieving properties: dandelion root, elm bark powder/slippery elm, euonymous bark, holy thistle herb, ginger rhizome, gentian root, meadowsweet herb, myrrh resin, lemon balm leaf, valerian root, southern prickly ash berries, oat seed.

How to: Nowadays, most herbs are sold as supplements or as standalone items. On this note, some supplements are thought to interact with certain prescription medications, so be sure to check with your doctor. The same applies if you have an underlying medical condition.

Preventative Measures

There are plenty of lifestyle changes that may reduce the production of stomach acid. Here are a few:

– avoid smoking
– exercise regularly
– drink plenty of fresh water
– do not eat lying down
– eat a well-balanced diet
– eat smaller, more frequent meals
– limit heavy lifting and straining
– limit and monitor potential ‘trigger foods,’ including: alcohol, caffeine, citrus fruits, milk and dairy products, soft drinks, carbonated juices, tomatoes.
– lose weight if overweight or obese
– review prescription medications with your doctor

https://youtu.be/yG-G9_LOkLA

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
http://www.gov.pe.ca/photos/original/WI_KRemedies.pdf
https://www.healthline.com/health/digestive-health/ginger-for-acid-reflux#research
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/9151.php
https://www.prevention.com/food/foods-soothe-heartburn
https://www.thespruce.com/homemade-ginger-tea-3377239
https://www.webmd.boots.com/heartburn-gord/guide/natural-remedies-heartburn#

Researchers Explain 5 Health Benefits of Sleeping Without Clothes

For many people, the nighttime ritual of getting ready for bed involves putting on pajamas and climbing under the covers. But research has now shown that there are actual health benefits to shedding those pajamas and letting your body breathe during the night. Here are some of the ways sleeping without clothes can improve your health.

Here Are 5 Health Benefits Of Sleeping Without Clothes

“If you’re wearing lots of bed clothes, it’s going to be more difficult to regulate your temperature, so wear the least you can get away with.” – Russell Foster

1. Sleeping naked helps improve blood circulation

For people who tend to sleep with clothes on, waking up with a pins-and-needles extremity isn’t entirely unheard of. A lot of people find that their body parts “fall asleep” at night and need some extra time for the blood circulation to return. But the pins-and-needles feeling in your arms and legs isn’t the only thing that can be lacking circulation when you wake up. According to a study by Anna’s Linens, sleeping naked can help improve our body’s blood circulation. This can have an extremely positive benefit on your heart, lungs, and muscles.

benefits of naps

2. Sleeping without clothes also helps improve metabolism

There are a few steps when it comes to improving your metabolism where sleeping naked is concerned. First of all, sleeping without clothes ensures that you don’t overheat. When your body temperature lowers, your body activates a type of body fat that regulates your body temperature. This is to ensure that you stay warm enough while you’re sleeping. The Valley Sleep Center discussed how sleeping at a lower temperature helped people burn fat and calories at a faster rate. For a better metabolism, take off your pajamas and sleep free.

3. Sleeping without clothes helps lower stress levels

There are so many things that can cause us to get a poor night’s sleep. Stress is actually one of the worst culprits when it comes to people struggling to get to sleep and stay asleep. For the most part, sleeping without clothes has been shown to help people sleep because our bodies are much better equipped to sleep at certain temperatures. Restrictive clothing can make you overheat, which can be one of the causes of waking up feeling poorly. Getting a good night’s sleep is key to reducing stress levels. Once you start sleeping naked, you’ll notice that you’re getting better sleep and feeling less stressed during the day.

4. Ladies, it can help reduce yeast infections

Sleeping without clothes can help cut down the number of yeast infections you get. Alyssa Dweck, a gynecologist in New York, said that women who deal with chronic yeast infections and inflammation will benefit the most from sleeping without underwear. If you’re a woman who has a hard time with yeast infections, try sleeping this way to reap the benefits.

5. Sleeping without clothes helps improve fertility in men

For the most part, the benefits of sleeping without clothes all have to do with the restrictions of the clothes on your body as well as the temperature that your body is during the night. Overheating during the night can cause all kinds of problems, from a poor night’s sleep to increased stress levels. For men, sleeping at a constant temperature can help keep their sperm count healthy and high for their respective ages. This is why sleeping without clothes is recommended for men who want to increase their virility and stay fertile.

Final thoughts

Our bodies need sleep at the end of the day. Resting helps our bodies repair, helps boost our immune systems, and gets us ready for a new day out in the world. The best thing we can do for our bodies is to help them get the high-quality slumber they deserve. That’s why sleeping without clothes is one thing you can do to help your body during its most vulnerable hours. Even researchers agree that sleeping without clothes comes with a whole host of benefits for our bodies. It might take some getting used to, but once you get comfortable sleeping this way, you’ll never want to go back.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/health-news/Health-reasons-why-you-should-sleep-naked/articleshow/46541505.cms
https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/national-sleep-survey-pulls-back-the-covers-on-how-we-doze-and-dream-184798691.html

7 Adult Behaviors of Someone Who Was Made Fun of As A Child

Bullying is a highly troubling and heartbreaking issue. The psychological damage of bullying often sticks with an child well into adulthood – as is typical of traumatic events.

Bullying and Mental Health

According to a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, substantial evidence exists demonstrating the increased risk of depression in kids who were bullied. During childhood, victims of bullying often display depressive symptoms, poor academic performance, and low self-esteem.

Many of the psychological effects of bullying – particularly anxiety and depression – are often evident among adults who faced constant physical and/or verbal harassment as children. (Children who both instigated and were the recipient of bullying may suffer even worse mental health problems.)

This article discusses seven potential adult behaviors of someone made fun of as a child. To wrap things up, we’ll briefly talk about some treatment options available for those suffering.

Here are 7 adult behaviors of someone bullied as a child:

“Being bullied frequently by other children is a traumatic experience, and researchers need to gain a better understanding of how important a child’s early peer and school experiences are for their development.” ~ Cari Nierenberg: “Childhood Bullying Can Have Lasting Effects On Mental Health.”

1. Extreme Anxiety

Anxiety that is constant and intense is perhaps the most common symptom of childhood bullying. Adults bullied as kids are often diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, or SAD. SAD is the third-most-common mental health condition in the world – and it is often debilitating.

Individuals with SAD or a similar condition also know that the anxiety is irrational. For example, they innately understand that people are not always watching and judging them – but this knowledge does next to nothing to relieve the symptoms.

2. Isolation and Withdrawal

Kids who faced bullying often have to overcome years of negative subconscious programming that bullying leaves behind. When facing rejection or peer adversity, the natural human tendency is to withdraw and isolate themselves.

Why? Because isolation from others may be hurtful, it is less than exposing themselves to rejection or worse.

good enough

3. Depression

Per a research study from Kings College in London, England, victims of bullying are more likely to suffer from depression for up to 40 years. Individuals who were “frequently” bullied, according to the study, are nearly twice as likely to develop the condition.

The most common symptoms of depression include irritability, fatigue, restlessness, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and helplessness, pessimism and hopelessness, and loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities.

4. Physical Illness

As it’s well established that childhood bullying correlates strongly with mental health problems, it’s unsurprising that physical symptoms often develop as well. Some studies show a link between higher rates of obesity, cardiovascular disease, and substance abuse among adults who faced bullying as children.

Health experts know that psychological problems can manifest into physical. For example, individuals diagnosed with anxiety and depression have an increased risk for both heart disease and substance abuse. The elevation of the stress hormones, cortisol, and adrenaline may be the catalyst for many of these physical effects.

5. Underachievement

One of the most heart-wrenching aspects of bullying is its effect on intelligent, capable kids. Unfortunately, these are the same kids that are often targets of bullying. While some resilient kids manage to overcome these difficulties and still succeed in the classroom, many do not.

The mental health conditions mentioned in this article alter the brain’s natural chemistry. This fluctuation in brain chemicals – especially serotonin – makes mental processes like concentration and memorization much more difficult. Underachievement in kids made fun of often begins in the classroom and continues into adulthood.

6. Poor Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.” It’s easy to understand why someone marginalized as a child may be unable to pick up on or understand emotional cues – even their own.

Childhood bullying almost always leads to emotional underdevelopment. The reason is that bullied children do not experience the social interactions required to mature socially. This stunting of emotional intelligence often lasts well into adulthood.

child

7. Antisocial Behavior

In a joint study conducted by researchers from Duke University and Warwick University (UK), scientists conclude that victims of childhood bullying are more at risk for adopting antisocial behaviors. The 1,400-person study tracked people from the ages of nine to 26. As a result of their observations, they showed that those identifying as “bully-victims” were also more likely to be convicted of a criminal offense.

“We cannot continue to dismiss bullying as a harmless, almost inevitable, part of growing up,” says Professor Dieter Wolke of the University of Warwick, “We need to change this mindset and acknowledge this as a serious problem for both the individual and the country as a whole; the effects are long-lasting and significant.”

Psychological trauma often requires a combination of talk therapy (cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT) and medication. Research shows CBT to be particularly useful.

Treatment

A practice called mindfulness-based stress reduction, or MBSR, has proven useful on military personnel suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It stands to reason that mindfulness and meditation practices may help alleviate some of the psychological and physical effects of bullying.

Psychology Explains Why Blunt People Make The Best Friends

Genuine friends are more valuable than a dozen acquaintances–but how about blunt people. Do you perceive them as good friends?

We all know that one person who tells it like it is – the friend that is brutally honest with us and gives us the tough love we need to make it through the day. We all know someone just like that. Why is it that everyone seems to have that one blunt friend? According to sociology, blunt people make the best kinds of friends.

Here Are 5 Reasons Why Blunt People Make The Best Friends

Blunt people often have a sharp exterior with a marshmallow center.

1. Blunt people tell it like it is

This means they will be honest, even when you don’t want to hear it. Blunt friends believe in telling “it as it is so people can deal with the very root of the situation,” says William B. Bradshaw, Ph.D.

That doesn’t mean they’re going to be cruel, though. Brutal, honest, and tough love is about telling someone exactly what they need to hear, even if it isn’t what they want to hear. A blunt friend will never lie to you to try and spare your feelings. You know precisely what you’re getting, meaning the friendship will have less uncertainty. You’ll always know when your blunt friend tells you something, it will be the truth.

friendship

2. You’ll always know they want to be your friend

The best thing about blunt people is that they have no reason to pretend to be friends with someone that they don’t like. They also have no reason to lie about how they feel. A blunt person will tell you if they like you or not. So, when a blunt person has decided they like you, you won’t ever have to guess how they feel. They want to be your friend and will have no problem building a solid and lasting friendship with you.

3. They push you to be better

When it comes to other people’s shortcomings, most people find it hard to tell their friends what needs improving. This is usually due to a desire not to cause a rift in the friendship or to hurt the other person’s feelings. Blunt people don’t have these same hang-ups. A blunt person will tell you precisely what you need to do to better yourself, and you’ll know they mean it.

When you surround yourself with friends like this, your life will completely change.  You become more positive, driven, and focused on your priorities,” adds lifestyle and business expert Chalene Johnson. They’re the perfect person to go to for honest feedback and criticism.

4. They’re not afraid to apologize

Admitting when you’re wrong can be difficult for some people. For blunt people, admitting they’re wrong is a lot easier. This is because they don’t have a problem telling others when they’re wrong, so why should they admit it themselves? Friendships with blunt people are usually free of the same arguments in other relationships. Someone who is blunt will be willing to admit when they’re wrong and won’t be afraid to apologize.

5. They won’t let you get harmed

A blunt friend doesn’t put up with any wrongdoings against themselves or their friends. Because they’re not afraid to say what they mean and mean what they say, a blunt person will be the first one in your corner when you need it. They will be by your side and have your back, especially when dealing with a stressful situation. If other people try to talk behind your back, your blunt friend will be the first to step into the ring for you. They make best friends because they’re not afraid to fight for their loved ones.

blunt people

Final Thoughts on Why Your Blunt Friends Are the Best

Human beings benefit from a variety of social interactions. We need a lot of different types of emotions and energy to keep our social lives healthy. Just as much as we need a person who will be kind and compassionate, we need someone who will be blunt and brutally honest. This is why sociologists agree that blunt people make the best kinds of friends. We need someone who will be in our corner unconditionally. We also need people who will challenge us and make us the best person we can be. Thankfully, unapologetically blunt people fill that role.

If you’ve been lucky enough to know someone like this, let them know how valuable they are. Life is too short for unspoken words.

 
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