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5 Exercises That Make Side Fat Disappear

Despite the fact that having side fat or love handles means there’s more of us to love, most people don’t like having them.

Not only do love handles make it hard to wear tight clothing without them being noticeable, but they can also indicate certain underlying health conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, or high blood pressure.

The National Institute of Health explains the primary reason for this condition.  “People gain weight when they eat more calories than they burn through activity. This imbalance is the greatest contributor to weight gain.”

What Factors Cause Side Fat?

fatFat can accumulate anywhere in the body. A report issued by the National Library of Medicine describes specific factors that increase the likelihood of retaining body fat. But before you read this list of contributing factors and despair, rest assured that the next section addresses how to reduce your weight and slim down again.

  • hormones, especially too much cortisol (the stress hormone)
  • age (belly fat accumulation is particularly common as you get older)
  • lack of physical activity, a sedentary lifestyle, sitting too long at a job
  • smoking cigarettes or nicotine use
  • a diet high in fats, sugars, and high-calorie foods
  • sleep deprivation
  • undiagnosed or untreated conditions that slow down your metabolism. For example, hypothyroidism, or an underactive thyroid, makes it difficult to burn off extra calories.

Luckily, you can get rid of side fat by doing targeted exercises consistently You can also consume a diet full of fresh,  whole foods like fruits, veggies, lean protein, whole grains, nuts, and seeds.

In this article, we’ll go over how you can get rid of side fat with five fun and easy to learn exercises. Let’s get to it!

The 5 Exercises That Melt Side Fat

Side fat, aka love handles, are stubborn! Fortunately, performing these five exercises can help you shed these excess pounds.  Do each of these exercises for three circuits at least three times per week.

And of course, before you start any workout or diet program, check-in with your doctor to receive custom-tailored advice for your health concerns.

1. Woodchoppers

With a hand weight of your choosing, stand with your feet hip-width apart and place the weight in both hands above your left shoulder. Then, twist your body toward your right hip as if you’re chopping wood (hence, the name of this exercise!)

Pivot your feet and knees as you twist. Then, bring the weight back up to your left shoulder and repeat for 20 reps. Switch to the other side and repeat for 20 reps.

2. Russian Twists

Most of you have probably heard of this exercise. You’ll definitely feel your abs burning after this one! To perform it, sit on the floor with your knees bent and your feet flat. Lean your torso back at a 45-degree angle. Get a dumbbell, and hold it on each side.

Then, lift your feet up, and either cross them at your ankles or leave them side-by-side. Put all your weight in your butt for balance. Then, twist your torso to the right and touch the dumbbell to the ground. If this isn’t possible, simply reach as far as you can to your right side without losing your balance.

Then, repeat on the left side, and keep twisting back and forth until you’ve done fifty reps. Make sure you keep your feet off the ground and your torso leaning back.

3. Side Plank Hip Lifts

The only weight you’ll need for this exercise is your own bodyweight! Get into a side plank position with your elbow, legs, and hips flat on the ground.

Keep your body in a straight line and raise the lower half of your body up into a side plank. Lower your body and repeat for 15 reps, and then do 15 on the other side.

4. Bicycle Crunches

Ah, yes, another exercise that seems to be in all the ab videos, and for good reason! Lie down flat on your back with your knees bent and your hands behind your head. Lift your shoulders and upper back off the ground and simultaneously move your right elbow toward your left knee until they meet.

Quickly switch to the other side so that your left elbow meets your right knee. Continue this as long as you can, but aim for 30 reps.

5. Heel Touches

Yay, you’ve made it to the last exercise! These are fairly simple to do. Just lie flat on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the ground, and arms out by your sides.

Then, raise your chest toward the ceiling, and bring your right hand down toward your right heel. It’s okay if you can’t touch it; just reach as far as you can. Bring your arm back up, and then bring your left arm down toward your left heel. Repeat for fifteen reps on each side.

What to consume when you’re trying to shed fat

As mentioned in the intro section of this article, weight gain and fat come from consuming more calories than you expend in a day. So while exercise is excellent to help you shed those unwanted pounds, you should also consider trying out a new, healthier way of eating.  Combining exercise with healthy eating habits yields you the quickest results.

According to the Mayo Clinic, you must aim to reduce your caloric intake by 500 to 1000 calories per day to lose one to two pounds per week. Fortunately, you know some new exercises that makes this caloric reduction relatively easy to achieve!

Here are some things to eat to help you shed those pounds:

  • Lean poultry: Grilled, roasted, or smoked chicken or turkey
  • Fish and seafood: These items include shrimp, oysters, and scallops (grilled or steamed)
  • Water: Drink plenty of water to continue to eliminate the fat cells as you break them down.
  • Vegetable greens: Steamed or stir-fried kale, spinach, collards, and mustard greens.
  • Organic vegetables: Any vegetables you like – be sure to steam, grill, or stir-fry them
  • Eggs
  • Fruits: Feed your sugar craving with delicious fresh fruits. Think apples, oranges, grapes, pineapple, melons, peaches, or whatever you like.
  • Healthy fats: Skip high-fat butter and canola. Instead, use olive oil, sunflower oil, or grapeseed oil to cook your meals.
  • Popcorn: Hot air-popped popcorn topped with a savory herb or a small sprinkle of buttery parmesan cheese can curb your cravings for crunchy snack foods.

Here are some things to avoid when you are in weight-loss mode:

  • Soda: Skip soft drinks, even “diet” ones. They might trigger cravings for sweets.
  • Sugary treats: Skip the candy and chocolate bars while you’re attempting to trim down.
  • Baked goods: Pass up on the pies, cakes, and brownies.
  • Red meat: Beef and red game meats contain higher amounts of fat.
  • High-fat dairy foods: Avoid eating butter, high-fat cheese, full-fat milk, and other dairy products with heavy cream.
  • Salty snacks: Say no to potato chips, tortillas, snack crackers, and other salty treats.

Remember that these foods serve as general guidelines while you are diligently losing weight. After you reach your goal, you may enjoy some of the foods on the “avoid” list in moderation.

pop memeFinal thoughts on exercises to help trim down side fat

Exercise is cumulative. Nobody expects you to shoot out of the gates and perform massive quantities of reps on your first day.  Instead, focus on watching the video and doing each exercise, mastering good form to prevent an injury.

Start with a small number of reps and work up over several weeks. After you find they become too easy, add a resistance band, dumbbell, or kettlebell weight to challenge yourself to even harder moves. Believe it or not, you can get there with time and determination.

Once you begin looking forward to your three-time-weekly workouts, you will see you already melted away much of that fat!

8 Habits That Make You Age Faster Than You Should

“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw

There are things that we do in our day-to-day lives that can make us age beyond our years. As we get older, we want to make sure that we’re doing things in our lives to keep us as healthy as possible, rather than adding years onto our bodies.

There are habits that we do every day that can age us faster. Being able to recognize these habits will make it easier to quit them, so that we can keep our bodies and minds young, and make sure that we’re not aging ourselves. Science has proven that avoiding these specific habits will keep you young.

What can we do to slow the aging process? Because physical aging can be accelerated by environmental factors such as lack of physical activity, regular exercise can offset physical aging and improve quality of life,” says Dr. Sandra Hunter, associate professor of exercise science.

Here Are 8 Habits That Make You Age Faster

1. Not reducing your blood pressure

Blood pressure is something that, while we’re young, we don’t think too hard about. It can mean that when it really starts to matters, we’ve already gone long enough not watching our blood pressure that things can get hairy.

According to Hello Heart, “It turns out the early stages of hypertension (those you experience in your 20s, 30s and 40s) and high blood pressure, have a very real impact on how old you look. Even though you aren’t getting heart attack-like symptoms, you are aging faster than you should, and those around you can tell.

Therefore, if you let your blood pressure go unchecked, high blood pressure can even take years off your life, including causing the risk of heart disease, stroke or even heart failure.

2. Not watching your weight

Science has long proven that people who were overweight and who managed to lose some of that weight and keep it off were able to improve their life span. Not watching your weight can make you age faster. When studied, patients who lost at least 2.2 lbs increased their lifespan by 2 months. Maintaining a healthy weight can increase your lifespan, as well as stop you from aging faster.

3. Smoking

Most people know the health risks of smoking, including skin, lung and throat cancer. But smoking can also make you age much faster than your body should be aging. Even after you’ve quit smoking, it’s hard to turn the effects back around that can cause problems years down the line after you’ve quit.

According to WebMD, “Maybe there is no fountain of youth, but there is a surefire way to make yourself look older. Smoking changes the skin, teeth, and hair in ways that can add years to your looks. It also affects everything from your fertility to the strength of your heart, lungs, and bones.

It’s best to never start smoking to begin with, but even if you’ve already begun, quitting is much better than keeping on smoking. It’s one of the most dangerous and biggest things that age you faster.

4. Not living life

Instead of taking chances, and living your life the way that you want to, some people tend to take the easy path. When you don’t live your life to the fullest, and your life isn’t something that makes you happy and fulfilled, it means that you’re much more likely to die sooner, and age faster. People who live in a state that is overwhelmingly positive have reported feeling healthier and happier, and living longer lives.

aging faster

5. Lack of physical activity

If you consider yourself a lazy person, or someone who just doesn’t like to exercise, this could be a habit that’s really shortening your life and making you age way faster than you should be. Science has already proven the benefits of physical activity – even low level physical activity like taking a walk every day.

According to this study, Dr. Mark Tarnopolsky, MD, PhD stated that “a person can slow the speed at which they age by exercising regularly. You don’t have to become a weightlifter, but for a longer, healthier life, starting up some exercise is just the thing.

6. High cholesterol levels

Much like blood pressure, cholesterol is something that a lot of people don’t pay attention to when they’re young. If you have a habit of just letting yourself go without keeping an eye on your cholesterol levels, you may be making yourself age faster – even if your twenties and thirties. Making sure you’re getting enough good cholesterol and lowering your bad cholesterol is a great way to stay healthy and stop yourself from aging faster than you need to be.

7. Not practicing meditation

Stressed out? Anxious? Upset? Feeling lots of negative emotions? Do you just let yourself wallow in those feelings without trying to work through them? Are you the type of person to let yourself get overwhelmed by your negativity? This is a habit that is definitely making you age faster.

According to this study, “… meditation mitigates stress-related cognitions and propagation of negative emotions and negative stress arousal, a longstanding practice of mindfulness or other forms of meditation may indeed decelerate cellular aging.

Getting into meditation and peaceful mindfulness will help reduce your anxiety and stress, while making sure your negative emotions aren’t taking years off your life.

8. Giving up on education

Education, and especially university and beyond, can be inaccessible for a lot of people. But, if you’re capable to going, it’s important to get as high of an education that you can. Studies have shown that education has an impact on your life in so many different ways, and all of them work together to improve your health, help you live longer, and keep you young.

Final thoughts

No one wants to age faster than they need to! Keeping young is more than just about buying moisturizing cream and wearing the right kind of makeup. Staying young also includes taking care your body, from your physical body to your mind and spirit. Turn these habits around to keep yourself from aging faster, and to stay living a long, healthy life.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://medium.com/magazines-at-marquette/big-question-why-do-we-age-a-scientists-answer-1ac251fc31e2
https://helloheart.com/high-blood-pressure-premature-aging/
https://www.webmd.com/smoking-cessation/ss/slideshow-ways-smoking-affects-looks
https://www.amssm.org/research-says-regular-exe-p-145.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3057175/

25 Things Everyone Needs to to Do On Their Own In Life

 

The beauty of life is that it’s ours to create. To build the life that we desire – and there are no exceptions – we must we willing to achieve some things individually, and it all starts with the willingness to teach and learn.

One of the big problems in society – in particular, the modern education system – is that we don’t teach children usable life skills. (Does the anatomy of a frog have any application to everyday life?)

Many of us (including this author) have had to learn some of the lessons on this list the hard way. The wonderful thing is that it’s never too late to grow and learn.

Here are 25 things we all need to learn and achieve on our own:

“The harder I work, the luckier I get.” ~ Samuel Goldwyn

1. How to Make Money Work for You

Saving money is a terrific (and extremely rare!) habit. Even more unusual is the knowledge of how to turn those savings into a profitable investment. Understanding bonds and interest is a good place to start.

2. How to Create a Healthy Network of People

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

So many well-intentioned, intelligent people fall by the wayside merely because they chose the wrong crowd and trusted the wrong people.

3. How to Develop a Personal Brand

What you choose to focus on on a daily basis determines the story of your life. If you focus on being a people-pleaser, there’s a good chance that your light will never shine.

4. How to say “No!”

“He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain must sacrifice greatly.” – James Allen

Learn to say no to the things that provide no value.

say no

5. How to Be Persuasive

Some people are naturally persuasive – a marvelous ability to have. These folks are calm, amicable, and reciprocate manners and goodwill.

6. How to Communicate With Others

Small talk – most people hate it. Know why it exists? Because some are terrible communicators. Focus on what you need to say, listen to the other person, and ask questions.

7. How to Tell a Good Story

Natural storytellers are some talented folks. They can seemingly take a bland topic and make it a must-listen – and people love them for it.

8. How to Write for Pleasure or Personal Benefit

Teaching yourself how to journal (just scribble down your thoughts) or write for fun is a powerful life tool. It all starts with making a habit of putting your thoughts on a piece of paper.

9. How to Be Creative

If you experiment enough, you can unleash a creative spark that you never knew existed. People who are highly logical have the most trouble – as they try to “think” creatively. But creativeness begins with a mind adrift.

10. How to Be Alone

“The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so better try to make yourself as interesting as possible.”?—?Unknown

11. How to Meditate

Meditation has proven to be one of the most powerful practices in existence. Beneficial as it may be, it requires stillness and quiet – which goes against the grain of modern living.

12. How to Manage Stress (!)

We’re terrible stress managers. Start dealing with stress more efficiently by asking a simple question: “What do I repeatedly think, do, or say that frustrates me?” Now, come up with a solution!

13. How to Be a Better Decision Maker

“The more decisions you make, the better you’ll become at making them. Muscles get stronger with use, and so it is with your decision-making muscles.” – Tony Robbins

14. How to Be Productive

Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” – Bill Gates

What do you want to achieve in life? How do you need to use your time to accomplish these things?

15. How to Focus (Ignore Distractions!)

We’re all capable of a high level of focus. Rule numero uno is ignoring distractions – i.e., smartphones, chatter (inner and outer) – which is the gateway to keen attention.

16. How to Retain More of What You Read

This one’s simple, but not easy: approach anything that you want to read with intent. What are you trying to get out of that book or article? Reading with emotion will make the material more memorable. Stop and quiz yourself along the way.

17. How to Manage Information Overload

There is a ton of information available at the press of a virtual button. Starting managing information better by kicking the “I need to know” habit (unless, of course, you do need to know!)

18. How to Become a Better Learner

“Repetition is the mother of all learning.”

Repeat something, anything, until it becomes muscle memory. See, learn, do.

19. How to Live Healthily

Start weaning yourself off of the sugar. Eliminate fast food. Do at least 15 minutes of light exercise every day.

20. How to Create Good Habits

Creating good habits involves positive emotion. Write down your new habit and what it will mean for your life. Now, visualize (see #21!) living out this habit every single day.

21. How to Practice Visualization

Visualization is like daydreaming with a purpose. What do you want? Now, picture yourself as if it is already yours. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

22. How to Set and Achieve Goals

Use the SMART acronym when setting any goal: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-limited.

23. How to Monetize Your Passion

What are you good at? What do you love to do? What opportunities are out there for you to take or create? Remember, it’s never too late.

24. Specifying Beliefs and Values

Determining one’s beliefs and values toward the world help us to make better decisions – and serves as an invaluable guide.

25. How to Be Self-Aware

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
-C.G. Jung

https://youtu.be/GMfiSPXYGdo

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
http://smarterwebsiteowner.com/smart-goals-for-your-website/
https://medium.com/personal-growth/25-essential-things-you-can-learn-that-will-give-you-the-edge-in-life-626ae97c512

Researchers Reveal Why You Should Do Yoga With Your Partner

Yoga has all kinds of health benefits. It’s good for your flexibility, heart, mind, and soul. When you do yoga, it can help heal all kinds of ailments, both physical and mental. People who have anxiety or depression often report that doing yoga and learning how to breathe correctly with the complicated poses have helped them out immensely.

“Yoga is not just repetition of few postures – it is more about the exploration and discovery of the subtle energies of life.” – Amit Ray

But there’s one more secret benefit to yoga that a lot of people don’t know about, and that’s how it can benefit your relationship. That’s right—researchers now have solid reasons why you should do these poses with your partner.

A couples’ yoga experience can serve as a kind of mini ‘retreat’ or ‘workshop’ to strengthen a relationship. Rather than just going to a class and practicing next to each other, couples’ yoga requires couples to really pay attention to each other in the moment and work together toward common goals,” says psychotherapist and certified yoga instructor Julia Lehrman.

Here Are 5 Reasons Why You Should Do Yoga With Your Partner

couples yoga

1. Yoga connects your body and mind

One of the main benefits of yoga is to connect your mind and your body. Oftentimes we think of our bodies as just vessels without really understanding that our bodies are also ourselves. Yoga helps close that bridge and connect mind and body.

Mind-body exercise is about creating wellness. It’s about cultivating your health by restoring balance… You start to uncover your body’s own wisdom,” says author Shirley Archer.

In order to develop good relationships with people, especially romantic ones, we need to have a solid connection between our bodies and our minds. When we only engage with other people with one or the other, our relationships tend to suffer and be shallow. Yoga will help you have a more rounded and complete relationship.

2. Yoga makes you more sensitive

When you engage in yoga, it can help increase the sensitivity that you feel to both yourself and the world around you. You will learn to listen to your body and your mind, and engage with your thoughts and feelings in a more open and honest way. When you nurture that relationship with yourself, you will inevitably be able to nurture your relationships with others as well. Doing yoga with your partner means the both of you will be able to have more open and honest relationships with yourselves as well as with one another.

3. Yoga helps you live in the present

Living life in the past is something that a lot of people tend to do without meaning to. They hold onto past relationships and old grudges and things that are no longer happening, but still allow them to affect them.

We’re living in a world that contributes in a major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction, decoherence,” says Buddhist scholar B. Alan Wallace.

When you practice yoga, it helps you live your life in the present instead of hanging on to the past. With yoga, you have to focus on your body, on your breathing, and on your balance. Using these things teaches us to be present in the moment. When both partners engage in yoga together, you’ll both be present in the moment and be able to connect with each other more fully.

4. Yoga lowers your defenses

Yoga is all about releasing tension and energy that gets built up in our bodies. When we open ourselves and release that tension, our defenses lower and allow us to engage with the people around us in a healthier manner. We have all known people, or perhaps been that person, who is always withholding themselves from their partner for fear of getting hurt. That can cause a lot of tension in the relationship.

Thankfully, doing poses together can repair those issues between partners and strengthen your connection. Relationships that have one or both partners who have raised defenses often do not last, so yoga can really benefit those relationships.

Doing yoga with your partner is one way of practicing communication with each other, since you have to be attentive to your partner’s body in each pose you do together. For many couples, it’s a way of deepening the connection between two people and being present with each other,” says Aimee O’Connor for Huffington Post.

yoga

5. Yoga opens your heart to love

Many people who haven’t tried yoga don’t know that yoga can teach you how to feel in new and different ways. Because there’s so much focus on opening and releasing when it comes to yoga. Indeed, connecting your emotions and opening your heart to love is one of the biggest benefits when it comes to doing yoga.

In life we go through many things… a wide array of emotional hurts. Over time, these experiences cause us to put up little walls around our hearts. We believe that if we can just protect our hearts behind these walls, that we will avoid getting hurt, so we slowly begin to close off, adding layer upon layer over our vulnerable hearts. Yoga helps us to heal and strengthen the heart, in both the physical and the metaphysical sense,” says yoga instructor Charity Poole.

When you focus on doing these moves with your partner, having your heart open to love can be extremely important to keeping your relationship strong. Yoga often crosses into spirituality in a way that a lot of people don’t really understand. But, if you put the effort in, you’ll find that your heart and soul open up to love in a way that you’ve never experienced before.

Final Thoughts on Doing Yoga With Your Love

Yoga isn’t just a new age gimmick. It is actually an exercise that is based on health and physical fitness. Not only that, but many other cultures use it to help with mental and spiritual health. When you’re in a relationship, doing these poses together is a great way to make your relationship stronger and connect with one another.

4 Behaviors That Help Introverts Reverse Social Anxiety

“Everyone shines, given the right lighting.” – Susan Cain

Social lives are important to each individual person. They’re how we connect with other people and create and build friendships, as well as expand our horizons. Most people learn how to socialize at a young age, and are quite good at it. Other people become social butterflies, and go above and beyond in terms of socializing. However, there are a few people who don’t socialize well and don’t know much in terms of fixing that.

Those who have a hard time socializing tend to run into the issues of having trouble maintaining friendships and fostering good relationships with other people. Social introverts tend to lack confidence (because they’re constantly worried about other people’s perception), which makes it hard for them to take the plunge and interact with people without feeling self-conscious and coming off as awkward.

On the other hand, “many times, people confuse introversion with being anxious, depressed, antisocial, or not fun, and that is not at all true. One of the biggest challenges with being an introvert is trying to control other people’s perception, which isn’t always easy…” says Tyler Turk, CEO and Founder of Crated With Love.

The best way to turn that around is for social introverts to find ways to gain their confidence again. It’s possible!

Here Are 4 Behaviors That Help Introverts Reverse Social Anxiety

1. Ask friends for help

Even the most socially awkward people tend to have one or two good friends who will be willing to help them get out of their comfort zone and learn how to socialize. Friends can point out where you need help in certain social areas – if you’re feeling too awkward talking to other people, or your jokes tend to fall flat, or if you just have a hard time getting out of your house during the week.

By understanding the world of the extrovert, you can be more mindful of their social needs. It can be a difficult needle to thread, but work on developing personal strategies that don’t exhaust you but also don’t result in you being perceived as rude,” says Dr. Alice Boyes.

Whatever you need, friends are a great way to help point out what areas need work and help you build up your confidence without judgement.

2. Don’t give up

Even if something goes wrong, like you say something embarrassing or you make a mistake in socializing, don’t give up. Sure, it’s a little uncomfortable, but in the end, no one is going to remember that one embarrassing thing you said a few months ago.

Everyone has times in their lives where they embarrass themselves. If you give up trying to socialize just because one thing went wrong, you’ll never gain your confidence back. “Decide that becoming confident is a priority for you and realize that building confidence will require you to step outside of your comfort zone,” says author Joanna L K Moore.

Take a deep breath and roll with the punches, because people will always remember the good things more than they will the bad.

3. Be yourself

This one might seem like a no brainer, but being yourself is actually the most important thing when it comes to being confident and gaining a bit of social skill. If you try to be someone else, you’re only going to feel comfortable when you have that mask on.

You’re probably more focused on the perceived downsides to being an introvert, so find out why it’s good to be an introvert. There is usually a positive and a negative side to any personality trait, so look for the positive ones,” adds Moore.

Starting off by being who you really are is going to make it so that everyone who hangs around you already likes you for your true self. Plus, you won’t have to be pretend to be someone else and mess up. You’ll always find people who like you for who you are, and those are the people that will give you the confidence you need to be social.

4. Practice makes perfect

When you try to become better at socializing and gaining confidence, you need to make sure that you go out and practice as much as you can. Take a friend to help you so that you don’t feel pressured to talk to too many new people at once. But, if you go out to a bar or a social event of some kind, practicing your new social skills will make it easier and easier.

The easier it is to be social, the more confident that you feel. It’s kind of a feedback loop – when you’re not good at socializing, you don’t feel confident, and if you don’t feel confident, you don’t get better at socializing. Practice does, in fact, make perfect, and the more you socialize the more confident you’ll feel.

introvert-extrovert

Final thoughts

Social introversion can cause a lot of problems in someone’s life, especially if they lack confidence, but the best thing is knowing that it doesn’t have to be this way. Confidence is something that everyone can learn, even if it doesn’t feel like it! Once you learn confidence, being more social comes right along with it.

Being an introvert in an extroverted world can be hard enough without struggling with shyness, too. But it is very possible to become a confident introvert. And as you accept your introversion, as well as the other parts of yourself, the confidence will come and your shyness will subside. You will become a confident introvert,” concludes Moore. Don’t let yourself give up.

overcome social anxiety tips

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(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://www.bustle.com/articles/183583-9-dating-tips-for-introverts-according-to-experts
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201302/4-social-tips-introverts
https://introvertspring.com/build-confidence-shy-introvert/

8 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Cold Hearted

What does it mean to have a ‘cold heart’? Usually, a ‘cold heart’ describes someone emotionally unavailable. They are not warm or loving type of people.

“…I perceive so-called “cold people” as, more than anything else, people who are shut-down, repressed, and out of touch with their deeper feelings. Further, emotionally alienated from themselves, they can hardly be expected to express to others feelings that they themselves are unable to access,” says clinical psychologist and author, Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.

Getting involved with someone with a ‘cold heart’ can often lead to heartbreak for the individual in question. However, people with ‘cold hearts’ have certain behaviors that make them easy to spot.

“A person with a cold heart can only show their love by being cold.” – PureDragonWolf

Here Are 8 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Has A ‘Cold Heart’

loved

1. They don’t ask you about yourself

A cold-hearted person doesn’t often show much interest in the person they’re with. Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, a cold-hearted person has very little interest in other people. They won’t ask you questions about yourself. Or, if they do, it’s to learn information that is useful to them in some way.

2. Someone with a cold heart seems distant

Not just physically but emotionally. It may seem like they’re never really “all there” when you’re having a conversation. They keep a lot of their feelings to themselves. Someone with a ‘cold heart’ rarely ever opens up about their emotional vulnerabilities. They keep their distance, no matter what.

3. Something is always ‘missing’

You can’t connect with a person who has a cold heart. When you’re with them, it may always feel like a piece of something ‘missing’ from the relationship. Whether the relationship is romantic, platonic, or familial, a cold-hearted person will always have difficulty connecting with the people in their life. Something is ‘missing’, and it’s usually an emotional connection.

4. A person with a cold heart can be manipulative

Someone with a ‘cold heart’ will often try to control the people around them through manipulation. This is because they often lack empathy for other people. “Manipulators often voice assumptions about your intentions or beliefs and then react to them as if they were true in order to justify their feelings or actions, all the while denying what you say in the conversation,” says Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT.

A cold-hearted person will try to manipulate everyone around them. They may try to get close to people and find out information that is useful to them. They will often have skeletons in their closets and a list of people they have manipulated for one reason or another.

5. Someone with a cold heart struggles to maintain good relationships

Someone with a ‘cold heart’ will have no good relationships in the past. “Emotionally unavailable people see a relationship as a source of comfort — something to occupy their time until something better comes along,” says author and relationship expert Sarah Rusca Cline.

They may often characterize their ex-partners as “crazy.” They have a string of bad relationships left in their wake or can’t seem to settle down with one person. They also may have a disconnect from their family. A person with a ‘cold heart’ is also not likely to have very many close friends, either. Keep an eye out for this person’s past and present relationships.

cold heart

6. Self-centered

Me, me, me. Someone with a cooler demeanor will often be focused on how everything affects them – even when it doesn’t. “Unconsciously viewing others as “extensions” of themselves, they regard them as existing primarily to serve their own needs—just as they routinely put their needs before everyone else’s…” says Dr. Seltzer

They tend to be incredibly self-centered. This behavior manifests in playing the victim or trying to one-up someone. If you get a promotion, a cold-hearted person will somehow be able to make it about them. They might say they got a better promotion (even if they didn’t).

7. Lying

Lying is a behavior to watch out for when it comes to someone with a ‘cold heart.’ A lie is a part of manipulation, which a cold-hearted person uses to control the people around them. They may lie about things that don’t really matter, like what they did that day, or what school they went to. A cold-hearted person may also lie about big things.

Usually, someone with a ‘cold heart’ will lie about their past relationships, or any falling out with friends.  “…you’ll see a history of his fabricated storytelling and wonder to yourself how you could have ever believed some of those absurd lies in the first place,” says divorce recovery coach Cindy Holbrook. They lie to make themselves seem more sympathetic.

8. A person with a cold heart will often treat others poorly

Someone with a ‘cold heart’ will often show their hand. “They exhibit a constant need to talk about (display) themselves in flattering and egotistical ways, with frequent reminders of their superior and envy-worthy dispositions,” says professor, author, and private coach, Preston Ni.

In this case, keep an eye out for how they treat people they deem ‘beneath’ them in the social hierarchy. How they treat anyone in the service industry should be observed closely. You should also keep an eye out for how they treat homeless people. A person with a cold heart won’t have the empathy to treat these people as human beings worthy of respect.

What Causes Someone to Have a Cold Heart?

A person can have a distant or cold heart for various reasons, including:

  • Past experiences: Traumatic events or negative experiences in childhood or adulthood can lead to emotional distance or coldness as a way of protecting oneself.
  • Childhood trauma or neglect: Childhood experiences such as abuse, neglect, or trauma can significantly impact a person’s ability to form healthy relationships and connect emotionally with others.
  • Mental health conditions: Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, or borderline personality disorder can lead to a cold or distant demeanor as a defense mechanism.
  • Difficulty with emotions: Some people may struggle with regulating their emotions and may withdraw emotionally as a way of coping.
  • Lack of attachment or bonding experiences: People who have had limited positive attachments or bonding experiences early in life may find it difficult to connect emotionally with others.

Of course, everyone’s experiences and reasons for having a distant or cold heart are unique and complex. Working with a mental health professional to address these issues and develop healthier ways of coping and connecting with others can be helpful.

cold heart

Final Thoughts on Someone With a Cold Heart

Getting mixed up with someone with an aloof or distant demeanor can be taxing. However, knowing the signs will put you ahead of the game. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from the life of a person who is cool as ice. Everyone deserves to have healthier and happier relationships than ones with cold-hearted people.


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