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9 Comebacks For Dealing With A Liar

Do you suspect you are dealing with a liar – but you are unsure if they’re lying or not?

“I think 80 percent of the population are really great, caring people who will help out and tell you the truth … and I think 20 percent of the population are crooks and liars. It’s just a fact.” ~ Tom Hanks

Okay, so all of us, at some point, have told a lie or two. Even the “Honest Abes and Annes” amongst us have said a little white lie, right?

But you are not a liar, not really. Not when we consider that some people continue to spew lies throughout an entire lifetime. These are the folks slapped with the “LIAR!” label – deservedly so.

Consider this: in a study conducted at the University of Massachusetts, some people tell as many as three lies every 10 minutes. How a person manages to do this is beyond us. These folks are liars of the pathological variety.

We approach this topic from an even-keeled perspective only out of respect for the liar’s humanity. Make no mistake about it: liars can be infuriating to deal with. Not to mention, deceivers can extract every thread of our energy and patience if we’re not careful.

So we did some research and came up with nine ways to effectively confront liars without losing your mind. Here they are:

1. Confirm the Person is Actually Lying

If you think you’ve been lied to, it is easy to get worked up and abandon logic for emotions. But if you think you’re upset now, how would you feel about yourself accusing someone of something they didn’t do?

Research shows that the best way to find out is to pay attention to a person’s baseline habits – how they conduct themselves when they’re not lying – and comparing them to their present behavior. For example, it may be time for a talk if they appear anxious, avoidant, or uneasy.

liar

2. Check Your Facts Before You Confront a Liar

Put on your investigator cap and uncover and document all of the pertinent facts (Who, What, When, Where, Why). Facts are crucial when confronting a liar; if you don’t possess objective, hard information, don’t confront them. (They’ll slither their way out of it.) If you’re diligent about collecting the necessary facts, you can confront the liar with confidence.

At this stage, you know with near-to-absolute certainty that the person lied.

3. Determine the Course of Action

After you’re reasonably sure someone is fibbing, it’s time to consider your approach. Only you know the context of the situation and the severity of the lie; so it’s up to you to determine how you’ll handle it. Is this a first offense or is it a pattern of behavior? What effects did the lie have? Was this a personal or professional incident? All of these factors must be taken into consideration.

4. Call the Liar Out (If Necessary)

This step can be difficult for some of us, especially conflict-avoidant ones. To overcome this hesitation, it may be necessary to remind yourself what is personally at stake (reputation is big.) If your character is being questioned, especially in a workplace environment, you need to call their B.S.

how to confront liars

5. Maintain Your Integrity When Ready to Confront a Liar

As you may know, dealing with a chronic fabricator is often a maddening experience. But you haven’t come this far only to stoop to their level. Always be above personal reproach. Before confronting the liar, remind yourself who you truly are. Rigorously adhere to your principles, and you will maintain your integrity.

6. Keep Things Civil

Once you are in the appropriate environment, calmly state, “Something is on my mind, and I wanted to discuss it with you.” Afterward, present your case. “Here’s what I heard” or “Here’s what I know” are possible openers.

Maintain a calm, composed tone at all times. There is no need to escalate things unless necessary.

7. Watch Their Reaction as You Discuss the Lying

Once confronted with hard evidence, liars will do one of three things: deny, admit, or defend. Admitting what they did is the only acceptable solution in all likelihood. Provided that you gathered the facts, maintained your composure, and kept things civil, there is no excuse for the person to act defensive, deny their actions or play dumb.

Provided the person doesn’t get out of hand, you can end the conversation after the next step.

8. Send a Strong Message

Make no mistake about it: you are a victim of someone else’s lying or manipulation. Quashing someone’s propensity to lie about you requires a firm (yet calmly stated) message. Take a few moments after your case is presented to express that you do not appreciate lying from others, expect the person to be open and honest, and will always do the same.

9. Reflect Internally

After someone lies to you – especially if it’s someone you trust – a period of reflection may be necessary. The truth of the matter is that most people are honest – for better or for worse.

lying

Final Thoughts on Dealing With a Liar

Take heart in the honesty of most people. Regarding the offending individual, reevaluate the relationship, if necessary, but forgive them, if only for your own peace of mind.

But remember this: You are good, honest, and strong. Your character will never fail to rise above the situation, provided you keep heart!

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Sabotaging Themselves (Without Knowing It)

Why would someone deliberately be sabotaging themselves? Why would someone knowingly get in their own way?

There are only two possible explanations. First, they’ve reached a sort of rock-bottom, and don’t want to care anymore. Second (and far more likely), they wouldn’t knowingly do these things!

Yet, sabotaging oneself happens all of the time – and our own mind is often to blame.

Check and see if you identify with any of the following thoughts:

“I’m not good enough.”

“I don’t belong.”

“It’s too hard.”

“I’ll do it later.”

Self-sabotage most often happens when we lack self-belief, we fear failure, or when we fail to exercise self-discipline. Indeed, we can be our own worst enemy.

Once again – and this is a critical point – YOUR MIND IS THE CULPRIT.

Here are five potential signs that someone is unintentionally sabotaging themselves:

“You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself … the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

1. They Procrastinate

Procrastination is perhaps the most prominent saboteur of human beings. Making a habit of putting things off that one deems hard, boring, or otherwise unpleasant is as ubiquitous as it is personally damaging.

The solution is simple but, of course, not easy. And that is to be mindful of what you’re doing – no matter if the task is big or small. Be mindful of personal points of struggle; identify the behaviors and triggers which prevent you from completing a task or goal.

giving up quote

2. They Overspend

Overspending is a consequence of deeply ingrained subconscious programming. People who overspend place too much emphasis and importance on instant gratification, and not enough on the long-term good that comes from being financially diligent.

Breaking the habit of overspending is hard because it’s so entrenched in the subconscious. The urge to spend is overwhelmingly strong because the human mind is wired to put instant gratification first.

The undeniably tricky solution is multifaceted: know your spending triggers and avoid them, track every dollar spent, and – perhaps most important – resolve to be financially free.

3. They Focus on the Negative

While we all have an innate negativity bias, people who always seem to sabotage themselves are almost always more negative than most. Have you ever seen the Saturday Night Live skit “Debbie Downer?” Well, Debbie, played brilliantly by Rachel Dratch, takes every positive situation and manages to turn it into a depression-fest.

The solution is to make a note of your negative thoughts when you’re not feeling particularly good about things. Then, challenge yourself on each of these thoughts based on the evidence; the odds are that there’s not much substance to these self-defeating patterns of thought.

4. They’re Chronically Disorganized

Audrey Sherman, Ph.D., writes: “Although it appears to be a mundane sort of thing, I find disorganization and chaos to be one of the biggest problems reported by depressed and anxious individuals. Emotional baggage has a way of building up, and then expressing itself in an outward display of turmoil — as if a tornado had let loose in your brain and your surroundings.”

Disorganization can create problems in just about every area of our life, personally and professionally. Biologically, disorganization creates stress – and stress chemicals create irritability and panic.

The first step to solving the disorganization problem is identifying the major stressors. Is it time management, clutter, overwhelm, or something else? Second, create a sense of organization (and peace of mind) by writing down step-by-step how to solve each of the problems listed in step one. Lastly, take a deep breath and execute your plans.

5. They Have Very Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is a huge saboteur. Without a sense of confidence or self-worth, an individual can be overcome with doubt; hesitating in the face of even the faintest opposition.

On the other hand, a positive mental attitude and understanding one’s worth can reap benefits far beyond the material. While this may take some time, practice daily affirmations and focus on the positive things you’ve done in your life.

You’re not dumb.

You’re not undeserving.

You ARE worth it.

And always remember that the only opinion that matters of yourself is your own. The truth is that most people are far too busy being self-occupied than to pay you more than a moment’s attention. So ,don’t let the ignorance of others influence how you see yourself.

Sources:
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/dysfunction/2016/06/the-link-between-disorganization-depression-and-anxiety/
https://suzie81speaks.com/2016/11/15/how-to-stop-sabotaging-yourself/

5 Things To Never Do During A Spiritual Awakening

A spiritual awakening means something different to everyone, one common understanding of it is simply believing in more than just yourself. For some, it’s trusting your gut or intuition more.  And for others, it’s even deeper – to begin to look past the physical limitations of this reality, and focus on going within to connect to what some call God, Source, Higher self, etc. A spiritual awakening can lead one down a road to higher understanding of themselves and their placement within this crazy world, and for many, they couldn’t imagine their lives without faith in something being the centerpiece.

However, along this road toward enlightenment, inner peace, greater understanding, or whatever you’d like to achieve, you might find yourself getting lost along the way. This is perfectly normal, of course, but please try to stray away from the following things that will only hinder your growth.

5 Things To Never Do During A Spiritual Awakening

1. Staying stuck in the past or future.

One common facet of spirituality is focusing on mindfulness, or being fully aware of the present moment. However, we cannot do that if we remain entrenched in the past or future. If we focus too much on times already gone or times not even here yet, we will wreak havoc on our inner peace. To gain inner peace, we must fully let go and embrace the present.

So, on your spiritual journey, we hope you will remember to lose yourself in the moment you have right now, and forget about moments gone or moments that haven’t yet arrived. Much of spirituality lies in going with the flow and not trying to control your surroundings, anyway.

2. Being too hard on yourself.

Along this path, you might find yourself being hyperaware of your own thoughts and actions, so much so that you start to judge yourself too harshly. While being conscious of the self is a big part of spirituality, you have to learn to simply watch yourself as a mindful observer, and not judge what you might hear or see. We live in a very judgmental world, but you have to learn to let go of these man-made judgements and pre-conceived ideas of who and what you should be. 

Your spiritual journey should not be about achieving perfection; rather, it should be about learning to love yourself IN SPITE of those imperfections that make you, you. Don’t believe what anyone else tells you about spirituality – it’s your own personal journey, and no one can tell you how to traverse it but you.

3. Feeling guilty about how you live your life.

When you start to delve deeper into your spiritual awakening, you might find that your ideals and morals have changed a bit. Thus, you find yourself at odds with certain people in your life, because they have gotten so used to the old you that they don’t really know how to deal with the “new” you. Of course, this is the natural course of life, as people change and find what makes them happy. However, don’t feel guilty about your life just because it doesn’t click with those around you. 

Maybe in your spiritual journey, you’ve found that you want to simplify your life, and live off-the-grid to get closer to nature, God, or whatever you call the center of your spirituality. If this makes your heart happy, you have to follow it, regardless of what others may think. You have to live your life for you, not for others.

gut instinct

4. Comparing yourself with others.

This sort of goes along with the previous point – don’t ever judge yourself against other people. You will either disappoint yourself, or allow your ego to become inflated. Neither of these things will help you in your spiritual journey; rather, they will hinder you. Your spiritual journey is highly personal, and totally unique to you. Therefore, it’s both unwise and irrational to compare yourself to others, because you have to move at your own pace in life. 

Related article: 7 Things That Can Cause A Spiritual Awakening

Someone might seem more spiritually advanced than you, but who’s really to say? Only you can judge yourself at the end of the day, so make sure to simply focus on your own life and do what you have to in order to feel fulfilled within yourself.

5. Not allowing yourself to feel emotions.

A common belief you’ll come across in your spiritual path is that we should strive to not let our emotions overpower us, instead becoming the watchful observer of our thoughts and feelings. However, this doesn’t mean to stifle your emotions so that you become a ticking time bomb. If you don’t deal with your emotions, you’ll have to later, and they will only gain strength from being bottled up for so long. Say what you need to say, feel what you need to feel. No apologies, and no feeling guilty. We are all human, and therefore have a wide spectrum of emotions. In order to feel alive, we must deal with how we feel now, and not bury our emotions just because we don’t want to face them.

https://youtu.be/Om1lmhaBngA

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

How to Flush Gas And Bloating From Your Stomach With Just Four Ingredients

One in ten Americans states that they suffer from bloating regularly, even when they haven’t eaten a large meal (say, a Thanksgiving feast).

Sometimes, bloating can become severe enough that it causes a noticeable swelling of the abdomen. Gas and bloating are usually diet-related, so you may find that a few simple changes to what you eat will do the trick. Still, if your stomach fails to settle, there’s no need to rush to the doctor or pharmacy (yet!)

In this article, we’ll talk about four natural ingredients – essential oils, to be exact. These may help relieve those gas and bloating episodes. We’ll wrap things up by making suggestions that may help.

What causes bloating?

Several things may instigate episodes of bloating and gassiness. Here are some common offenders:

  • Beans and lentils: These foods contain sugars called oligosaccharides, which bacteria must break down in the gut before they can be digested.
  • Certain fruits and veggies: Certain vegetables contain a fair amount of starch, including Brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, and carrots, which can create a gassy feeling. Fruits high in natural sugars, like apricots and prunes, may also contribute to gassiness and bloat.
  • Dairy products: Lactose, or milk sugar, can be a source of bloating and intestinal discomfort if you’re sensitive to it. More than likely, you already know if you’re lactose intolerant.
  • Sweeteners: Fructose, a natural sugar added to many processed foods, is difficult for many people to digest. Sorbitol, an artificial sweetener, can’t be digested. Both can create serious bloating trouble, so be aware of them the next time you eat. Try to limit the amount of fructose and sorbitol that you consume daily.
  • Whole grains: Natural grains contain many health benefits but can sometimes cause bloating and gas troubles. Fiber is an indigestible carbohydrate that, when consumed in large amounts, can create bloating, gas, and even constipation. This is one reason nutritionists do not recommend the sudden, sharp increase of fiber in one’s diet. Instead, slowly adding fiber and giving your body a period to adjust is a better option. Additionally, consume plenty of water, as H2O can help prevent the fiber from absorbing too much water within the digestive tract.

care for your body

Here are four ingredients that can help with gas and bloating

Now that we’ve discussed some potential food culprits, let’s discuss some essential oils that may help ease your tummy troubles.

1. Chamomile Oil

Chamomile oil has been shown to help reduce intestinal inflammation and ease pains brought on by cramping. This herbal extract may also help relieve diarrhea, chronic heartburn, loss of appetite, nausea, motion sickness, and vomiting. Though more research must be conducted, chamomile oil may also help rid the body of toxins.

2. Cumin Oil

Some believe that cumin oil works wonders for intestinal cramps and general pain in the stomach. It may also help with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) symptoms such as constipation, diarrhea, and flatulence. Pregnant women should not use cumin oil. Nor should anyone spend time in the sunlight right after applying it.

3. Ginger Oil

Per Medical News Today, the potential health benefits of ginger include relieving motion sickness, nausea, lack of appetite, and pain. Ginger is also known for its carminative properties, which help to reduce flatulence, gassiness, and abdominal discomfort.

4. Peppermint Oil

Of the four oils mentioned here, peppermint oil is the most proven to help relieve gas and bloating. Whether taken in capsule form or applied and rubbed onto the skin, peppermint may help calm stomach muscles and reduce pain from cramping. It also helps eliminate gassiness.

10 Easy Ways to Prevent and Treat Receding Gums

Gum recession is the medical term describing when the margin of gum tissue surrounding the tooth pulls back, exposing more of the tooth, or its root. Receding gums can produce noticeable gaps, making it easy for disease-causing bacteria to build up.

If left untreated, the supporting tissue and bone structures of the teeth can be severely damaged, and may ultimately result in tooth loss.

Receding gums is a common dental problem because of its subtle onset. In fact, most people don’t know they have gum recession because it occurs so gradually. Generally, the first sign of gum recession is usually tooth sensitivity. Alternatively, one may notice a tooth appears longer than surrounding teeth. A little bump or ‘notch’ may be felt near the gum line.

Why Do Gums Recede?

There are many explanations as to why gums may start to recede; these include:

Genetic predisposition: Genetics account for many of the health conditions to which human beings are suspect – and dental health is no different. Studies show that more than 30 percent of the population is at risk for gum disease strictly because of their genetic makeup.

Harsh tooth brushing: Brushing your teeth too hard may cause the enamel of your teeth to wear away, leading to receding gums.

Inadequate dental care: Irregular brushing, flossing, and rinsing, in essence, invite bacteria to reside in your mouth. Accumulation of bacteria leads to tartar – a hardened substance that can only be removed via teeth cleaning.

Hormonal transitions: Fluctuations in female hormone levels throughout a woman’s lifetime, including menopause, pregnancy, and puberty, may cause the gums to become more sensitive; which then may lead to gum recession.

Periodontal diseases: Bacterial gum infections destroy gum tissue and the bone that surrounds the tissue. Gum disease, or periodontal disease, is the leading cause of gum recession.

10 Natural Ways to Treat Receding Gums

Now, let’s shift our focus onto ten rather easy and natural ways to treat gum recession! Here they are:

1. Sea Salt Rinse

Simply rinsing your mouth with a warm water and salt mix is one of the easiest methods for easing gum recession, pain, and inflammation.

Just dissolve a small amount of sea salt into a cup of warm water, swish the mix in your mouth for about 15 seconds and spit it out. Repeat 2-3 times daily for best results.

2. Sesame Seed Oil Rinse

Also known as ‘oil pulling’ in Ayurvedic medicine, rinsing with sesame seed oil produces some excellent benefits. Sesame oil possesses potent anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties.

Swish one tablespoon of sesame oil for about 15 minutes, or until the oil becomes thinner. Spit out the liquid and rinse your mouth with fresh water. Repeat daily for approximately one month.

3. Chamomile Tea

The chamomile flower has some serious antiseptic properties and helps to reduce the inflammation accompanying gum disease and recession.

Add 2-3 teaspoons of chamomile tea mix into a cup of hot water. Allow the mix to steep for about 10 minutes; strain and cool. Repeat the process three times a day for as long as necessary.

teeth whitening

RELATED: 5 Ways to Whiten Teeth Naturally

4. Tea Tree Oil

Similar to other ingredients on this list, tea tree oil has some awesome antibiotic and anti-inflammatory properties. A 2008 Australian study concludes that regular application of tee tree oil reduces gum bleeding and gingivitis.

Add 1-2 drops of tea tree oil on your toothbrush, or mix it in with your toothpaste. That’s it! Continue to brush using this essential oil two times a day for a few weeks.

5. Coconut Oil

While we’re on an “oil kick,” here’s another useful tidbit: coconut oil is useful as an effective treatment for gum disease! When mixed with baking soda, coconut oil helps to rid your mouth of bacteria-causing acids.

Simply mix two tablespoons of both coconut oil and baking soda. This mixture will serve as a toothpaste replacement once or twice per week until the problem subsides.

6. Myrrh Mix

Myrrh isn’t talked about much as an oral treatment, which is a shame considering that it’s highly recommended as a remedy for sore gums.

Put 10 to 12 drops of myrrh tincture into a cup of warm water. You’ll use this mix as a mouth rinse for your normal brushing routine.

7. Cranberry Juice

Cranberry juice is highly concentrated with vitamin C and makes for an excellent antioxidant in treating oral problems. Specifically, cranberry juice has shown to be effective in fending off receding gums and oral infections. Studies demonstrate that low intake of vitamin C is linked to higher risk of periodontal disease.

Simply drinking four ounces of cranberry juice per day may help prevent bacteria from accumulating and hardening into the teeth. Other excellent sources of ‘C’ include oranges, grapefruit, lemons, strawberries, papaya, broccoli, and red pepper.

8. Green Tea

Known for its age-fighting composites, green tea was found by Japanese scientists to help promote healthy teeth and gums. One study, published in the Journal of Periodontology, found that drinking a cup of green tea each day decreased periodontal pocket depth, improved the attachment of the gums to the teeth, and reduced gum bleeding. In fact, the more cups of green tea consumed, the better the results.

Green tea, along with cranberry juice, may just be the two best products we can drink to promote gum health.

9. Septilin

Spetilin is an Ayurvedic medicine shown to strengthen immunity. This traditional medicine is a mix of compounds that, in addition to supporting a healthy immune system, also reduce inflammation.

A study published in the Journal of Periodontal Implant Science found that dietary supplementation with Septilin improves periodontal treatment outcomes in just three weeks.

10. Flossing

Okay, we’re breaking the mix/compound/rinse/oil mold here with this last item. But flossing with an all-natural material helps reduce bacteria and plaque almost as well as oil pulling.

It isn’t necessary to floss every day, either. Flossing a couple of times per week, as well as maintaining good oral hygiene, may be enough to ward off gum recession.

Can A Relationship Be Bad For You? 5 Signs Your Relationship Is Becoming Bad For Your Health

Relationships can be both a source of joy and stress. The key, of course, is balance, and being able to healthily handle the stress in a relationship without allowing it to overwhelm you. Unfortunately, sometimes these relationships can turn toxic and impact your health.

A bad relationship can affect someone’s mental health. And mental health can have an overall effect on a person’s physical health as well. Understanding how a toxic relationship can hurt our minds and bodies is a step to recognizing when a relationship has become toxic to begin with.

This goes for all types of relationships, as well: romantic, platonic and familial. Cutting toxic people from our lives is a health decision, and can affect your overall health for the better.

5 Signs a Relationship Is Becoming Bad For Your Health

1. Upset stomach from relationship stress

When you’re experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety on a daily basis, this can cause your stomach to become constantly upset. The phrase ‘listen to your gut’ exists for a reason, after all. High levels of chronic stress can even cause ulcers, if you’re predisposed or you aren’t careful. Stomach symptoms like nausea, indigestion and vomiting can be caused by the high levels of stress and anxiety that is being caused by your toxic relationship. Medication can help calm the symptoms temporarily. But cutting toxic people will out of your life will improve your overall health quickly, and more permanently.

2. Substance abuse

If you’re constantly upset from a toxic relationship, you may find it tempting to turn to alcohol or drugs to make yourself feel better. While the high might feel good for a while, you’ll eventually need more and more of your chosen substance to make yourself feel better. This is dangerous, and can lead to substance abuse problems. Heavy use of drugs and alcohol can also lead to more anxiety and stress, as well as doing – sometimes irreparable – damage on your body. Be honest with yourself about how often and for what reason you use substance to cope – you may need help to get back on track, as well as help to step away from the toxicity that influenced you to abuse substances in the first place.

“Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you…” – Bryant McGill

3. Poor sleep schedule

The stress from a toxic relationship can disrupt your sleeping patterns, as well as the quality of sleep you get. You may find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, unable to fall back asleep. Or, you may find that you’re unable to fall asleep, and spend your days in a sleepy haze. Lack of sleep can become dangerous, and lead to a whole host of physical problems if you’re unable to get the sleep your body needs to function on a day-to-day basis. Locating the source of the stress, and dealing with it or removing it from your life, will make your sleep habits start to return to normal – even if that stress means ending a relationship or friendship.

toxic

4. Your immune system is compromised

A toxic relationship can cause stress so severe that it messes with your immune system, which means you’re prone to getting sick more often than you usually do. If you find that your relationship is so stressful that you’re battling your third cold of the month, you may want to reconsider that relationship. Your body can only put up with so much, and your immune system needs to be able to function properly. Anxiety and stress will suppress your immune system, and lead to a chronic array of illnesses that you just can’t seem to shake.

5. Your face starts breaking out

Stress is absolutely linked to acne. Your hormone receptors are hard at work when your body is suffering through chronic stress. As a result, it can lead to your skin producing more oil than usual. This can cause more pimples and blemishes in your skin. Stress can also cause you to pick at your skin, which will only cause your skin to worsen. If you’re surrounded by toxic people, or suffering through a stressful and toxic relationship, you may first notice it when you break out more often than you’re used to. The best way to get rid of your stress pimples, is to get rid of your stress. Your mind and body will thank you for it.

Taking into consideration how your health has declined after meeting or engaging in a relationship with a toxic person can help you recognize just when it’s time to get out. Listen to your body – it knows best, after all. When you cut ties with a toxic person, you’ll start to feel all of your facilities start to function better. Your mind will be healthier, and so will your body. From your stomach, to your mind, to your skin, your body will be able to function better when it isn’t overloaded with stress.

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