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Therapists Explain 8 Ways To Deal With Loneliness And Avoid Depression

Everyone struggles with loneliness at one point or another in their lives. It can feel like you’re trying to breathe underwater. The often accompanying depression can be even worse. Even if you’re surrounded by friends and family, sometimes the loneliness creeps in. It can happen after a bad breakup, a divorce, or even the death of someone you hold dear.

According to Dr. Pamela Qualter, “While social isolation is an objective measure of how much we interact with others, loneliness is a subjective experience related to whether we feel we have enough friends or have good quality relationships.” Loneliness can feel impossible to escape from. Luckily, it doesn’t have to last forever. Learning how to handle and deal with loneliness will allow you to process the accompanying feelings, and then learn to move on.

Here are 8 ways to break free from loneliness (and avoid depression)

“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” Gretchen Rubin

1. ACCEPT THAT THERE’S NO EASY FIX

If you came here seeking a 24-hour fix to loneliness, you won’t find it. But that’s okay! It shouldn’t be quick. Giving yourself time is the most important part of learning how to break free from loneliness. When you allow yourself time to feel your emotions, you learn to be patient and kind with yourself. These positive feelings and coping skills mean that you’ll be better equipped to handle the waves of loneliness.

2. ASSESS YOUR LONELINESS

Learning to assess what is making you feel lonely is the next step to breaking free from the overwhelming feeling. Is it a break up? Is it the death of a close friend or family member? Once you’re able to access that loneliness, you’ll have the knowledge you need to seek help moving past it.

According to Dr. Eric Maisel, “Nothing causes more emotional distress than the thoughts we think. We must do a better job than we usually do of identifying the thoughts that don’t serve us, disputing them and demanding that they go away, and substituting more useful thoughts.”

If you’re unable to pinpoint what it is that’s making you feel lonely, talking to a therapist can help you bounce ideas back and forth and maybe find what’s hiding deep in your subconscious that’s making you feel this way.

3. REMEMBER: LONELINESS IS JUST A FEELING

While it may feel overwhelming and unpleasant, your loneliness is just a feeling. It isn’t a state of being or a fact of life. When you’re able to conceptualize your loneliness as a feeling that can and will pass, you’ll be able to work on simply feeling it – and then, when it’s over, letting it go. Don’t allow the feeling of loneliness to trick you into thinking that it’ll never go away. It will, and you’re strong enough to move past it.

4. REACH OUT TO YOUR LOVED ONES

Building a support network in your time of need is one of the most proactive things you can do to combat the feeling of loneliness. As cognitive behavior therapist Ratna Golaknath mentions, “This is something I have struggled with in my difficult periods, but the truth is, we need to let others in. Remember there are people around you who are concerned and want to help. Just as you would want to be there for them, they want to be there for you.”

Your loved ones will be able to reassure you, validate your feelings, and most of all offer comfort and distractions. While it may be tempting to keep yourself locked away inside with nothing but the television for company, this is only going to exacerbate your feeling of loneliness.

5. TALK TO A THERAPIST OF COUNSELOR

Family and friends can sometimes be too biased to help us access our feelings, and they may not have the background necessary to offer sound advice. A therapist or counselor can give you tools and coping mechanisms to deal with your loneliness. A therapist can also offer an outside perspective that we won’t be able to get with friends or family. Therapists are also great at playing the devil’s advocate and forcing us to really examine why we feel the way we do.

6. PRACTICE SELF-AWARENESS

This is something that a therapist or counselor can help you with if you don’t know where to start. Self-awareness means that you’re able to become aware of what triggers your feelings of loneliness, and then understand how your mind and body react to those situations and feelings. This process will help you gain better control of the loneliness so you can process your emotions.

7. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE

It doesn’t have to be with a large group of people, or even one other person. Go to the art museum or see a movie by yourself. Learning to be alone and having fun by yourself will help combat that feeling of loneliness. Getting out of the house and allowing your body to move will help clear your mind. It may even distract you from your feelings and give you some relief.

8. KEEP TRYING

never give up quote

Always keep trying. Even if your loneliness persists for months and it feels like it’s never going to stop: always keep trying. Because each day that you keep trying is another day that you’re working towards getting better and breaking free of your loneliness. So, no matter how hard it feels: keep trying.

Loneliness can be overwhelming, but there’s no reason that you have to suffer alone. Having the tools to overcome your feelings is the first step to breaking free. Before you know it, you’ll wake up one day and find that the persistent loneliness is nothing more than a memory of a sadder time in your life.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
We asked experts how to combat feeling lonely and isolated http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/03/we-asked-experts-how-to-combat-feeling-lonely-and-isolated-6484232/
10 Tips for Emotional Healing https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rethinking-mental-health/201309/10-tips-emotional-healing
Ask the Experts: Learning to be Kind to Yourself When You’re Low http://healthcollective.in/entries/ask-the-experts/learning-to-be-kind-to-yourself

7 Deficiencies Almost Everyone Has (And Doesn’t Know About)

We need a certain amount of various nutrients daily; vitamins and minerals, in particular, are crucial elements to nearly every critical biological process in the human body. Given how much food the average American consumes, it’s astonishing to think that we’d have any problem acquiring the appropriate nutrients. However, we do have several nutritional deficiencies that are strangely common.

“Nutrient deficiencies alter bodily functions and processes at the most basic cellular level.” ~ Tricia L. Psota, Ph.D., RDN

Don’t Overlook Deficiencies of These Essential Nutrients

deficiencies

1. Iron Deficiency

Iron is the main component of red blood cells. It binds to the substance hemoglobin and transports oxygen throughout the body.

There are two dietary varieties of iron: heme and non-heme. Heme iron is easily absorbed and is mainly found in animal foods, especially red meat. However, non-heme iron is more common. You can find it in both animal and plant foods. However, your body does not absorb it as readily as heme iron.

The World Health Organization (WHO) advises that this deficiency causes anemia, a blood disease. They estimate that iron deficiency is the most widespread nutritional hurdle in the world, impacting:

  • 33% of non-pregnant women
  • 40% of pregnant women
  • 42% of children worldwide

Symptoms of iron deficiency include impaired cognitive function, impaired immune system function, fatigue, and a weakened immune system.

The best sources of heme iron include the following items: red meat, seafood, organ meat, and canned sardines. The best sources of non-heme iron include kidney beans, pumpkin, sesame, or squash seeds, broccoli, kale, and spinach.

2. Vitamin D Deficiencies

Vitamin D is critical for skin and bone health and nerve transmission throughout the body. Exposure to sunlight is paramount to natural Vitamin D acquisition, as the vitamin is created from cholesterol produced by the skin.

Vitamin D is the “sunshine vitamin” because the most potent source is spending time outdoors in the sunshine. However, that leaves people in cloudy regions apt to miss out on sufficient exposure.

One scientific article estimates that an average of 50% of people fails to get sufficient Vitamin D globally. This estimate includes the following:

“In the United States, 47% of African American infants and 56% of Caucasian infants have vitamin D deficiency, while over 90% of infants in Iran, Turkey, and India have vitamin D deficiency. In the adult population, 35% of adults in the United States are vitamin D deficient whereas over 80% of adults in Pakistan, India, and Bangladesh are Vitamin D deficient, in the United States, 61% of the elderly population is vitamin D deficient whereas 90% in Turkey, 96% in India, 72% in Pakistan, and 67% in Iran were vitamin D deficient.”

Symptoms of vitamin D deficiency include these symptoms: fatigue, muscle aches, and weakness. The symptoms of vitamin D deficiency can be vague, however.

Besides the sunshine, the food sources of vitamin D include these items: fortified milk or yogurt, fatty fish (mackerel, salmon, trout), cod liver oil, and egg yolks. It is tough to get enough vitamin D from diet alone, so exposure to sunshine daily is essential.

3. Vitamin B12 Deficiency

Vitamin B-12 is critical for proper brain and nerve function and the production of DNA. Per Harvard Health Publishing, vegetarians and vegans, in particular, may be at risk for developing B-12 deficiency as plants do not produce the nutrient.

Symptoms of B-12 deficiency may include numbness in the feet, hands, or legs; dizziness, weakness, fatigue; a swollen, inflamed tongue; memory loss, paranoia, and hallucinations. In addition, a 2018 article in BMJ Case Reports cites a lack of B-12 as the cause of hyperpigmentation of the fingernails.

The following people tend to lack this vitamin, according to science: 80 to 90% of vegetarians, 20% of older adults, and around 30% of U.S. adults.

The best sources of B12 include fish, chicken, milk, and yogurt. Besides, the best sources for vegans include nutritional yeast, meat substitutes, and fortified soy or almond milk.

bell peppers

4. Calcium Deficiency

Calcium, as we all know, is crucial to bone health and maintenance. But calcium is also essential to nerve transmission. Indeed, without it, our primary organs would not be able to function correctly.

Calcium deficiency estimates: 80 to 90% of vegans and vegetarians; 20% of elderly individuals. And 30 to 40% of U.S. adults.

Symptoms of calcium deficiency include abnormal muscle heart rhythm, bone fragility, and muscle cramps. The best sources of calcium include whole milk and dairy products, dark green vegetables, and boned fish.

5. Magnesium Deficiency

Magnesium is a critical mineral that affects just about every bodily function. ‘Mg’ is crucial for brain function, nerve signaling, bone structure, and enzymatic reactions.

It is estimated that up to half of the U.S. population consumes the required amount of magnesium. Magnesium deficiency can contribute to several diseases, including heart disease, osteoporosis, metabolic syndrome, and type 2 diabetes.

Symptoms of magnesium deficiency include loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and muscle weakness.

Good sources of magnesium include nuts (almonds and cashews), whole grains, dark chocolate, and dark leafy green vegetables.

6. Folate Deficiency

Folate is a B vitamin that is naturally present in many foods. A form of folate called folic acid is used in certain dietary supplements and fortified foods. Folate plays a crucial role in the manufacturing and producing DNA and other genetic material. Besides that, your body requires it for cell division and synthesis.

Symptoms of folate deficiency include fatigue, mouth sores, and changes in the color of hair,  weak or brittle fingernails, and dry or flaky skin. Excellent sources of folate include beans, fortified cereals, dark leafy greens, and lentils.

nutrient deficiencies
7. Iodine Deficiency

Iodine is an essential mineral for normal thyroid function and the production of thyroid hormones.  Furthermore, it is vital for brain development, bone health and maintenance, metabolic regulation, and growth.

Iodine deficiency is one of the most common nutritional deficits in the world. In fact, a German study monitored iodine and found about 33% of participants to have low levels. Iodine deficiency may produce many symptoms, including increased heart rate, enlarged thyroid gland (goiter), trouble breathing and shortness of breath, and weight gain.

So what are the best sources of iodine? Try to include shellfish, seaweed, white fish, dairy, and eggs in your diet.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

8 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Has Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem isn’t altogether uncommon.

People with low self-esteem tend to see the world as a hostile place and themselves as its victim. As a result, they are reluctant to express and assert themselves, miss out on experiences and opportunities, and feel powerless to change things. All this lowers their self-esteem still further, sucking them into a downward spiral,” says psychiatrist and author, Dr. Neel Burton.

Many people suffer from low self-esteem. Sometimes, the signs aren’t always obvious. However, there are many key signs and behaviors that expose low self-esteem in people. Whether you notice them in yourself, or notice them in other people, it’s important to know the telltale signs of low self-esteem.

Here Are 8 Behaviors Of People Who Have Low Self-Esteem

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.” – Maxwell Maltz

1. Indecision

People who have low self-esteem are often indecisive. They have trouble making choices, and often spend more time than necessary deliberating over them. It could be something big or small. It doesn’t matter. Making a choice is difficult for people with low self-esteem, because to them, it feels like it doesn’t matter what they choose – The Universe is going to find a way to mess it up anyway.

People with high self-esteem are decisive because they understand that their opinion is worth just as much as anyone else’s even if they are with high-profile people like the President of the United States,” says author Robert Chen.

2. Trouble being alone

People who have low self-esteem don’t like to spend time by themselves. This is usually due to the fact that they don’t like themselves very much. Instead, people with low self-esteem prefer to hang out with other people. The people that they surround themselves with are often used only to validate the person’s own feelings. If faced with spending time on their own, a person with low self-esteem will become very withdrawn.

kind to yourself

3. Put others down

If someone doesn’t like themselves very much, then chances are they also won’t appreciate other people’s high self-esteem. According to study author Jeffrey Sherman, “When we feel bad about ourselves, we can denigrate other people, and that makes us feel better about ourselves.

People who feel good about themselves are often targeted by someone with low self-esteem. These people tend to put others down more often than they lift them up. They always seem to have something sour to say in every conversation.

4. Someone with low self-esteem fears failure

People with low self-esteem don’t believe in themselves. This creates a fear of failure. They won’t even try to reach their goals or challenge themselves because they don’t believe they are capable of it in the first place.

Perfectionism is one of the more destructive aspects of low self-esteem. A perfectionist is someone who lives with a constant sense of failure because their achievements, no matter how impressive, don’t ever feel quite good enough,” says psychotherapist Christine Webber.

People with low self-esteem will often give up, because at least then they can control the outcome. They would rather be seen as quitters than failures.

5. Easily frustrated with mistakes

As humans, we all make mistakes. It’s just part of life. Most people can recognize a mistake, correct it, and then move on. However, people who have low self-esteem don’t have that ability. In fact, people with low self-esteem become easily frustrated with their mistakes. Mistakes consume them, and they can’t stop worrying about them. Instead of correcting them, they tend to lash out and avoid addressing them if at all possible.

6. Trouble saying “no”

A person with low self-esteem has trouble understanding that people will like them for who they are. Instead, they tend to try to find reasons for people to like them. Being a “yes man” is one of the ways that people with low self-esteem get people to like them.

They have trouble saying “no” to tasks or favors, because “I believe some of it comes from being nice and wanting to be helpful but a big part of it comes from wanting to please people,” adds Chen.  Even when they are overworked and overwhelmed, someone with low self-esteem isn’t likely to say “no”.

If you want to build your self-esteem, learn to say “no” when you really want to say “no”,” concludes Chen.

7. Always saying “I’m sorry”

Chances are, we all know someone in our life who is always saying, “I’m sorry” even if there’s nothing to be sorry about! People with low self-esteem are always trying to minimize the impact they have on people. They tend to apologize for speaking their mind, for talking about their emotions, or even asking for a favor.

When a person feels worthless, they can start to show poor performance or stop trying to achieve in areas in which they feel defeated: academically, professionally, or personally,” says psychologist and author Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

8. Seeking reassurance

Everyone needs to be reassured once in a while. It’s a good way to get a reality check. However, people who have low self-esteem are constantly seeking reassurance from other people. They need to make sure their friends and family care about them. They also seek reassurance for their own thoughts, often asking if something they say, or feel, is appropriate.

Here Are 5 Ways To Improve Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is something that a lot of people go through at some point in their life. But, it isn’t a permanent state of being. Recognizing these behaviors as stemming from low self-esteem is the first step to improving it. Here are some ways to value yourself.

1. Use positive self-talk to improve self-esteem

One of the ways to improve self-esteem is by using an internal voice that is kind and gentle. Imagine you were speaking to a loved one when you talk to yourself, and your internal dialogue will be much more positive.

Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself. You are, after all, a miracle of consciousness, the consciousness of the universe,” says Dr. Burton.

2. Utilize self-care

Taking care of yourself is a good way to boost your self-esteem. “Activities like painting, music, poetry, and dance enable you to express yourself, interact positively with others, and reduce your stress levels. You might even impress yourself!” adds Dr. Burton.

Take time out of your day to unwind, relax and be kind to yourself. Do something that makes you feel good every day.

3. Learn from mistakes

Instead of hiding from mistakes, embrace them. Learn what went wrong and make a plan of action for next time.

4. Find a support system

Tell your friends and relatives what you are going through and ask for their advice and support. Don’t be overly shy or reserved: most people do want to help,” adds Dr. Burton. Take the time to connect with your friends and family. A support system is always useful when trying to overcome low self-esteem.

5. Learn to forgive

Self-esteem can be greatly impacted by holding onto grudges. Learn to forgive for your own peace of mind, and for your self-esteem. “No one is ever all good or all bad. Doing something you regret doesn’t make you an awful person, just as doing something good doesn’t make you a saint,” adds Webber.

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/building-confidence-and-self-esteem
https://psychcentral.com/blog/signs-of-low-self-esteem/
http://www.embracepossibility.com/blog/warning-signs-of-low-self-esteem/
https://www.livescience.com/12976-esteem-racial-prejudice-psychology.html
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/wellbeing/a25866/how-to-overcome-low-self-esteem/

10 Things People Do to Become Mentally Tough

People who are mentally “tough” are the kind of people who know what they want, and how to get it. “We all reach critical points in our lives where our mental strength is tested. Whatever the challenge, you have to be strong, see things through a new lens, and take decisive action if you want to move through it successfully,” says Dr. Travis Bradberry.

It’s hard to be mentally strong, especially when you feel stuck,” says Dr. Bradberry, but changing your attitude and outlook on life is just one way to become a tougher person mentally. If you’re looking for a way to start being tougher, here are the best ways to go about it.

Here Are 10 Things People Do To Become Mentally Tough

1. No more complaining

It can be tempting to complain about something that doesn’t go right. But complaining only brings your attitude down. Complaining doesn’t help, so the best thing to do is to look for what you can change.

Mentally strong people are flexible and are constantly adapting. Only when you embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you’re going to recognize, and capitalize on, the opportunities that change creates,” adds Dr. Bradberry.

Even if it’s nothing, you can control your attitude and your outlook on every situation.

2. You are in control

And even if you aren’t… act like it. There’s something to the old saying of “fake it until you make it”. If you act like you’re in control, you’ll feel much more relaxed and confident. Even in situations when you’re not in control, acting like it can help center your mind.

The challenges that come along from time to time are a test of our willingness to stretch and change. The worst thing you can do is to ignore the situation or procrastinate in developing solutions. The challenge is here and the difficulty is now. Focus your energy on the present moment; don’t lose what is right before you,” says president of Lead from Within, Lolly Daskal.

People who are mentally tough have a sense of control, even if it’s just over their own selves. Feeling in control is the path to success.

3. Be mindful

Practicing mindfulness is one of the major steps to becoming mentally tougher. After all, when you’re mindful and have control of your thoughts, you’re less likely to have an adverse reaction to stress. Mindfulness can also help alleviate anxiety.

Whether it’s an emotion, a thought, a belief, an impulse, or something in the environment, mindfulness calls us to approaching everything with a curious, nonjudgmental, open, and accepting attitude,” adds Daskal. Being mentally in control is important when it comes to mental toughness.

how to be mentally tough

4. Practice strong habits

Sometimes, things fall by the wayside. Staying motivated towards your goals can be hard when life gets in the way. But, people who are mentally tough have one secret in their back pockets. They are consistent with their habits. Practice makes perfect, and to be mentally strong, you have to keep trying.

5. Be kind to yourself

How many times have you caught yourself being self-deprecating? People who are mentally tough have a more kind and genuine inner dialogue with themselves.

Positive daily affirmations can help you develop your mental and emotional strength. Take a few moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself,” adds Wiki How.

Start treating yourself the way you would treat a loved one. You’ll be surprised by how quickly your attitude turns around when you start being kind to yourself.

6. Break bad habits

In line with practicing good, strong habits, it’s important to break habits that are bad. “Letting go of a bad habit can help you work smarter, not harder. Giving up bad habits that rob you of mental strength, like feeling sorry for yourself, will ensure your healthy habits are much more effective,” says clinical social worker, psychotherapist and author Amy Morin, LCSW.

Any habit that is maladaptive or makes it harder for you to do your best, either mentally or physically, is considered a bad habit. This requires consistency and commitment, though it’s important to forgive yourself if you slip up sometimes.

7. Distance yourself from toxic people

Author Israelmore Ayivor once said, “Fire False Friends as early as possible. Do it before they dig out the dream seeds you’ve planted! The earlier, the better; the quicker, the safer!

People who are mentally tough don’t allow toxic people to spread negativity into their lives. While there may be some toxic people you can’t avoid, someone who is mentally tough won’t allow that person to affect their day.

It’s really easy when confronted with a negative person to get sucked into their spiral of negativity. Choosing not to engage doesn’t mean ignoring them, but it does mean maintaining your emotional distance,” adds Wiki How.

Know that you’re in control of your own feelings, attitude, and reactions, and take other people’s toxicity with a grain of salt.

8. Learn to say “no”

People who are constantly saying “yes” to tasks, even when they’re overworked, have a tendency to experience higher stress levels, as well as anxiety. To be mentally tough, it’s important to learn when and how to say “no”.

Make no mistake about it, no is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, you need to avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” When it’s time to say no, just say no,” adds Dr. Bradberry.

It’s okay to set boundaries and to put your own health and well-being first. After all, you can’t say “yes” if you’re too overwhelmed.

9. Learn from your mistakes

People who are mentally tough don’t fear mistakes. After all, making mistakes is all part of learning. It’s also part of being human.

Perseverance gives you the ability to face any difficulty, any challenge, any setback without being defeated. It’s better to have a lifetime full of small failures that you learned from rather than one filled with the regret of never having tried,” adds Daskal.

The thing that makes a mentally tough person different from someone else, is that they learn from their mistakes. They embrace them and allow those mistakes to make them a better (and more mentally tough) person.

10. Own your responsibilities

Taking responsibility for your own actions, your own thoughts, and your own feelings is one of the best ways to become mentally tough. People who are mentally tough rarely blame other people for their own shortcomings or make an excuse. When something goes wrong, they say to themselves, “Okay, now how can I make it better, and how can I make sure it doesn’t happen again?”

Final thoughts

Being mentally tough isn’t about how smart, confident or motivated you are. People who are mentally tough develop good habits, and then they stick with them. These are the things that people do to make sure that they toughen themselves up mentally. It’s good to practice any of these in your daily life, whenever you can. Overcome the negativity with positivity at every turn.

“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered — just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” – Barrie Davenport

https://youtu.be/YzsVx_h8IbA

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/11-habits-of-mentally-strong-people_us_58efd4a7e4b04cae050dc5bd
https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/how-to-make-yourself-mentally-strong-this-year.html
https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Mentally-and-Emotionally-Strong
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201701/10-strategies-make-yourself-mentally-stronger
https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Negative-People
http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/The-Art-of-Saying-No-1545891057-p-1.html

5 Exercises That Boost Your Libido

When you are ready to boost your libido with minimal effort, try these 5 simple exercises to keep the fire burning in your love life. The libido, or sex drive, is what motivates us to engage in romantic behavior with our intimate partner. Having a low libido means we aren’t in the mood or just don’t have the passionate energy to get frisky.

Here are 5 exercises that can boost your libido:

1. Kundalini breathing

Those who practice yoga may be more familiar with the term kundalini, which refers to the spiral of energy at the base of the spine in the root chakra. The libidinous energy of kundalini can be aroused with deep belly breathing which releases the energy stored in the root chakra and allows it to move up the spine.

Salutogenic means something that promotes our health and well-being, rather than causes illness and disease (pathogenic). Moving the breath into the deep belly region of the lower lungs helps expand the oxygen capacity of our bodies, improving our energy levels for passionate activities.

2. Pelvic and abdominal exercises

Crunches are not fun, but those with abs and buns of steel most likely have the muscular strength and control to have a lengthy passionate session with their loved one. Our abdominal muscles support the reproductive organs, and we can gain control over the contractions experienced during orgasm by working those muscle groups and training them to respond to conditioning.

Kegel exercises, or pelvic floor exercises, are a type of muscle strengthening exercise that work the internal pelvic muscles that you feel when you release and then stop the flow of urine from your bladder. Stopping and starting the flow of urine allows you to gain greater internal muscle control, which could help boost libido power due to increased confidence and control over the muscles used in orgasm.

3. Stretching

If you think that vigorous exercise is best to boost your libido, think again. Three days a week of gentle stretching and deep breathing may be all the exercise it takes to boost your passionate drive. According to researchers, elongating your muscles through gentle stretching, as in yoga, or tai chi, has been found to increase libido and sexual satisfaction in men.

4. Lose your self-consciousness

Researchers found that being embarrassed about sex is often the biggest problem for libido and sex drive. For women particularly, exercises that focus on the present moment sensations of your body can help you boost libido.

The study published in the Journal of Women’s Health Physical Therapy found “The relationship between sex drive and sexual self-consciousness in men and women is negatively influenced by embarrassment. With regard to self-focus, only sex drive in women is positively affected. These findings could have implications for treatment in settings such as pelvic physiotherapy practice where sexual problems are often presented.”

5. Run (less often)

Most men are aware that low testosterone levels may affect the overall energy level and motivational drive of the libido. Having a high level of confidence and assertiveness in social situations can be important for both men and women to find a romantic partner, and testosterone levels are related to both confidence and libido. Researchers studied immunity and testosterone levels in male runners and found that, although runners had a naturally higher immunity, they also had lower levels of testosterone.

The researchers theorize that runners are using up available energy resources, which means they have less libido energy to use for mating-related behaviors. The body responds to the strenuous exercise of running by reducing the level of available testosterone. The advice here is certainly not to avoid running as exercise, but it is important to be aware that your marathon-like endurance can have a potential negative affect on your libido, due to the decrease in your testosterone levels. If low testosterone is a concern for your health, consider reducing your frequency of running exercise.

Libido-boosting exercises are gentle and relaxed, and they could help prevent the romantic relationship blues and blahs by revving things up. Being centered in your breathing and having an increased awareness of your body’s own natural passionate energy, or libido, can improve your romantic experiences.

Sources:
https://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/6-exercises-to-stimulate-sex-drive/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23522405
https://journals.lww.com/jwhpt/Abstract/2018/01000/The_General_Influence_of_Sexual_Self_consciousness.2.aspx
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajhb.23052/full

Scientists Explain: Parents Who Raise ‘Successful’ Kids Do These 8 Things Differently…

“To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, who you are will speak more loudly to your kids than anything you say.” ~ Eric Grietens, former Navy SEAL and Governor of Missouri

Parenting is hard work.

Children, by their very nature, lack the emotional and cognitive resources to navigate life without help. They’ll whine, cry, shout, beg, and complain for no reason. We may feel anger, annoyance, frustration and even guilt for how our child behaves.

But kids will be kids, as they say.

Despite the inevitable challenges of parenting, it is our responsibility to teach and set the example. Not all parents embrace this responsibility – and the effects can be devastating.

Parenting is an obligation that we must take on with the utmost sincerity. Indeed, how we decide to raise our children will profoundly influence the type of person he or she becomes.

There comes a time in every parent’s life when they question their parenting abilities. This is natural, and it is nothing for which to be ashamed.

Perhaps the most humble and righteous thing that a good parent can do is admit they don’t know everything. Being a parent is not something that happens – it is a process. Birth ‘happens’; parenting evolves.

This article focuses on eight science-backed methods of raising happy and prosperous children. As you read through, you’ll notice a diverse set of opinions and topics.

The common thread behind all of this advice is a scientific consensus, from psychologists, professors, social workers, and, most importantly, parents. The science of child development, while not perfect, provides a useful framework from which to operate.

Here are 8 things parents teach kids for success:

1. Develop Emotional Intelligence

Decades of research show that emotional intelligence is as critical to success– if not more so – than cognitive intelligence. Per a study conducted by TalentSmart, emotional intelligence (‘E.I.’) is the most reliable predictor of performance, blowing past I.Q. and personality.

E.I is the foundation of the following skills:

– assertiveness
– accountability
– anger management
– change tolerance
– customer service
– communication
– decision-making
– empathy
– flexibility
– trust
– teamwork
– social skills
– stress tolerance

The most important thing a parent can do to cultivate a child’s emotional intelligence is to model good behavior and E.I.-related traits.

2. Forget ‘helicopter parenting.’

Helicopter parenting, or overparenting, is one of the most significant problems parents have according to Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshman at Stanford University.

Parents who hover around their kids (hence the word ‘helicopter’) aren’t doing them any favors. The same can be said of overprotection.

Giving your child more freedom can be difficult for parents. We love our kids and don’t want to see them get hurt. But, we must be willing to let our kids try new things, fail, and experience consequences; it is essential to the maturity process.

3. Learn how to give praise effectively

Continually praising a child for their innate gifts, like intelligence, makes it less likely that they will apply said gifts to bettering themselves. (They know they’re smart!)

Carol Dweck, professor of psychology at Stanford University, examined the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. She discovered that praising children for developing novel approaches to solving problems, even when unsuccessful, teaches them the importance of seeing things through, giving effort, and realizing their intentions.

4. Give them outside play time

The booming tech age is both exciting and novel. But the increasing reliance (addiction?) resulting from overuse of technology is troubling. There is perhaps nothing more disturbing than the child who comes home from school and spends the rest of their evening on an iPad, cell phone, or computer.

Research shows that overusing technology hampers a child’s social skill development, encourages a sedentary lifestyle, and inhibits a child’s academic growth.

When they want to go to a friend’s house, let them. If there’s space in front of your home, your kid should be spending at least an hour or two outside per day.

5. Give them chores

Lythcott-Haims found that one common trait among successful adults is that they reported having additional responsibilities (chores) as kids.

She says “By making them do chores – taking out the garbage, doing their own laundry – they realize I have to do the work of life in order to be part of life. It’s not just about me and what I need in this moment.”

6. Be a bit pushy about school

According to researchers in from the University of Essex in the U.K., parents who have high expectations for their children – and consistently remind them of these expectations – are more likely to raise academically-successful kids.

Researchers note in the study “The measure of expectations in this study reflects a combination of aspirations and beliefs about the likelihood of attending higher education reported by the main parent, who, in the majority of cases, is the mother.”

(Thanks, Mom!)raising kids

7. Teach them resilience

Resilience, or the ability to rebound from setbacks, is a common trait shared among successful people. A high level of resilience enables one person to survive and thrive in circumstances that may defeat someone else.

How do you teach resilience to kids? Set a good example, demonstrate commitment and follow through, practice gratitude, and act as a mentor.

8. Teach them about serving others

We live in a highly individualistic and cynical world. In fact, studies show that most people, given a choice, will commit an act out of selfishness rather than the common good.

We need more people who serve others and who act as servant-leaders.

Emma Seppala, Ph.D., science director at Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, says “The best-kept secret to happiness is to be of service to others,” and that “Multiple studies have shown that happiness makes people 12 percent more productive.”

https://youtu.be/k99uas87S-M

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
http://inc-asean.com/grow/want-raise-successful-kids-science-says-9-things/?utm_source=inc&utm_medium=redir&utm_campaign=incredir
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3020114/Teenage-girls-likely-succeed-pushy-mothers-nagging-better-says-study.html
http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/Why-You-Need-Emotional-Intelligence-To-Succeed-389993854-p-1.html
https://www.theepochtimes.com/stanford-scientist-proves-compassion-leads-to-success_1997797.html
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