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10 Signs You’re In A Relationship With A Control Freak

February 24, 2018 by Power of Positivity

When we get into a relationship, we don’t always know the person we’re dating quite as well as we think. People tend not to show their toxic behavior immediately, which can leave us dating strangers. Some people get into a relationship to only later find out that they are dating a complete control freak.

“Many of us visualize a controlling partner as one who openly berates everyone in their path, is physically aggressive, or constantly makes overt threats or ultimatums. Controlling people use a whole arsenal of tools in order to dominate their partners— whether they or their partners realize what’s happening or not,” says clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, Ph.D.

Thankfully, there are early warning signs for you to keep an eye out for, just in case you feel that you have entered into a relationship with someone who is a control freak.

Here Are 10 Signs You’re In A Relationship With A Control Freak

“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious.” – Lundy Bancroft

1. They go through your phone

For most people, their phone is a pretty private place. However, when you’re in a relationship with a control freak, they may start snooping through your phone. Controlling partners feel that, “they have the right to know more than they actually do,” adds Bonior.

Even if you have nothing to hide, a control freak will want to know what you’re doing on your phone. They may look through your messages and apps. “It’s a violation of your privacy, hand-in-hand with the unsettling message that they have no interest in trusting you and instead want to take on a police-like presence within your relationship,” says Bonior.

2. They don’t like your friends

Control freaks want to maintain order and control in your relationship. Chances are, they don’t like the people you choose to hang out with.

“It could be that he refuses to accompany you on group outings with your friends, or that he demands to know where and with whom you are at all times. One of the tell-tale signs that he’s slowly cutting you off from your friends is his readiness to bad-mouth them,” say authors Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary.

They don’t like your friends, and they don’t hesitate to let you know, even going so far as complaining when you hang out with them.

3. They don’t like when you make decisions

If your partner had ever gotten upset with you when you didn’t consult them before making a decision, you’re likely dating a control freak. They don’t like when you do things without them, and they tend to become upset when you exercise any free will on your own.

4. They’re always telling you what to do

A control freak will often offer advice even when you didn’t ask for it. Worse, they will most likely get upset with you if you don’t follow their advice.

“Often under the guise of wanting to help you — whether it’s to improve an area of your life or to keep you from embarrassing yourself — men who find a way of criticizing your behavior and choices are flexing their control muscle,” add authors Fishman and McCrary.

Because they need to control everything, they will want to control everything you do, too. If your partner is constantly telling you what to do, be aware: they are a control freak.

5. They accuse you of lying

Even if you’ve never lied to them before, if your partner is paranoid that you’re always lying to them, it’s possible they’re a control freak. They accuse you of lying about where you’ve been, who you’re hanging out with, and who you’ve been talking to. Nothing ever seems like the truth to them.

6. They have high expectations

Having expectations in a relationship is pretty normal, but a control freak’s expectations are going to be out of this world. You probably won’t be able to please them no matter how hard you try. They’re also always shifting the goalposts to keep you on your toes.

7. They’re jealous

If your partner tends to get extremely jealous when you hang out with friends or your family, then it’s a sign that they are a control freak. “A little jealousy in a relationship isn’t necessarily bad; as a matter of fact, it can be sexy. However, when a man is controlling, his jealousy triggers fits of rage,” adds author Sujeiry Gonzalez.

Jealousy is a normal part of life, but control freaks take it to the extreme. You may notice that your partner gets angry with you when you spend time with someone else rather than them.

8. They want your passwords

The control freak will always want access to your phone, to your computer, to your Facebook … anything that you could keep them out of. They may try to pass this off as proving that you are trustworthy, but it is really to ensure they have complete control over you and your online activities.

9. You are never good enough

To a control freak, you can always use improvement. They constantly try to change you and make you into something you’re not. A control freak will want to control your personality and change it into something that they can keep control over.

“This creates a dynamic where you will be more willing to work harder and harder to keep them and make them happy—a dream for someone who wants to dominate a relationship,” adds Bonior.

10. They need to know everything

What are you doing today? Where are you going? Who are you going to be with? When are you leaving? When will you be back? These are normal questions that the control freak will want to know every single time you leave. They need to know everything and become very upset if you don’t answer sufficiently.

“Whether they keep their snooping secret or openly demand that you must share everything with them, it is a violation of boundaries from the get-go,” says Bonior.

Here Are 3 Ways To Deal With A Control Freak

Being in a relationship with a control freak can be very unsettling. Often times, the relationship isn’t healthy at all. So, what should you do if your relationship shows all of these signs?

1. Assert your boundaries

You are your person who deserves to have privacy. If there’s no reason for them to distrust you, then you should ensure that your boundaries are fully asserted. You may need to constantly remind the controller about your boundaries several times before they get out of the habit of controlling you.

“Repetition is key. Don’t expect instant miracles. Since controllers rarely give up easily, be patient. Respectfully reiterating your stance over days or weeks will slowly recondition negative communication patterns and redefine the terms of the relationship,” says assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and author, Judith Orloff MD.

You don’t need to tell them every single thing that you’re doing. You don’t need to tolerate any behavior that seems to be controlling. Make your boundaries very clear, and if they can’t respect them, then it’s time to cut them off.

2. Have a support system

Tell your friends and family that the controlling behavior is happening. It’s important to have people outside of your relationship know that these things are happening so that they can support you. Make sure that there’s someone else who knows about your partner’s control freak behavior.

3. Leave

A control freak is not in a healthy place to have a relationship, and you deserve someone who trusts you and doesn’t try to control your every move.

“Look to your friends, family or co-workers for support during this time. The controller does not define you and will do their best to diminish your self-worth during this process. Letting go of any power they have over you will only enhance your life, and the empty space they leave can be filled with someone who matters,” concludes art licensing agent and illustrator, Kimberly Montgomery.

Asserting your boundaries and having a support system will make it easier for you to safely leave your partner when the controlling behavior starts.

Health Experts Reveal 8 Foods That Are Bad For Your Brain

February 24, 2018 by Power of Positivity

Health experts are always telling people to be careful about what they eat because it can affect the health of our bodies. We know this by now, no doubt! However, there are also foods that are harmful to the health of your brain.

“Your brain is the most important organ in your body. It keeps your heart beating, lungs breathing and all the systems in your body functioning. That’s why it’s essential to keep your brain working in optimum condition with a healthy diet,” says Elise Mandl, BSc, APD on Health Line.

Different foods have different effects on parts of our bodies. If you’re looking to ensure that your brain stays just as healthy as the rest of your body, avoid these specific foods – or, at least, eat them in moderation!

Here Are 8 Foods That Are Harmful To Your Brain

Avoid these foods to improve your brain health.

1. Highly processed foods

Processed foods aren’t easy to avoid these days, but it’s best to do so for both your body and your brain.

According to a recent study by a group of scientists, “Animal work over the last three decades has generated a convincing body of evidence that a Western diet – one high in saturated fat and refined carbohydrates (HFS diet) – can damage various brain systems… there is a causal link running from HFS diet to impaired brain function in humans, and that HFS diets also contribute to the development of neurodegenerative conditions.”

Foods that are highly processed are going to be full to the brim with sugar and salts. As we all know, eating too much of these foods isn’t good for you. Instant TV dinners, chips and sweets are the kind of processed foods that you’re going to want to avoid for the health of your brain.

2. Alcohol

Drinking alcohol in small amounts and moderation isn’t going to be harmful to your brain. However, it’s all about excess. When you drink alcohol every day, or drink alcohol in excess, you’re bound to be doing damage your brain as well as your body. Chronic alcohol usage can really do a number on your neurotransmitters, as well as brain volume.

A group of scientists have concluded that, “chronic alcohol use is accompanied by volume reductions of gray and white matter, as well as microstructural disruption of various white matter tracts. These changes are partially reversible following abstinence.”

It’s okay to enjoy alcohol every once in a while, but know when enough is enough!

3. Mercury

When you eat fish, you always have a chance of that fish having something unsavory in its body, but usually it’s in small enough amounts that it isn’t a big deal. In fact, most doctors recommend eating a serving of fish once a week or more. However, predatory fish are more likely to be carrying mercury that can affect humans when they are eaten.

When ingested, mercury can affect the whole body, including the liver and brain. “The effects of mercury toxicity include disruption of the central nervous system and neurotransmitters and stimulation of neurotoxins, resulting in damage to the brain,” adds Mandl. Be careful about the fish your purchasing and from where, because mercury is no joke. Avoid shark and swordfish to keep mercury out of your body.

4. Soda and sugary drinks

When health experts suggest a diet change for your health, the first thing to go is usually drinks that are full of sugar, like soda. Too much sugar and soda can cause negative effects in your brain, including causing diabetes that can increase someone’s risk for Alzheimer’s disease. High blood pressure from the sugar can also cause a risk of dementia later down the line. Kick the sugary drinks and soda and drink more water! Your body and your brain will thank you for it.

5. Sugar

Sugars are what are known as “refined carbs”, along with things like white flour. Sugar is something that your body often craves when you eat it enough, and it can really spike your blood pressure. However, it’s also incredibly damaging to your brain. When you eat too much sugar, it can cause memory problems in both kids and adults.

Expert in osteopathic medicine, Christopher Calapai, MD says that sugar, “causes the hippocampus, the brain’s memory control centre, to become inflamed, meaning it can’t work at 100%.” Now, eating sugar once in a while isn’t a bad thing! But, like most things, you want to make sure you’re having foods high in sugar only in moderation.

6. Artificial sweeteners

Most people choose to use or consume artificial sweeteners when they’re trying to avoid sugar. While it may seem like the right idea, artificial sweeteners aren’t much better for you than sugar itself. A particular artificial sweetener, called Aspartame, has been linked to cognitive problems when consumed in high amounts, or regularly.

A group of scientists have concluded that, “Sugar- and artificially-sweetened beverage intake have been linked to cardiometabolic risk factors, which increase the risk of cerebrovascular disease and dementia. Artificially sweetened soft drink consumption was associated with a higher risk of stroke and dementia.”

Sometimes, choosing sugar over artificial sweeteners is a good thing, but eating either/or in moderation will keep your brain safe.

7. Saturated fats

Foods like bacon and other things that are full of saturated fats are usually pretty delicious. But, you want to eat them in moderation because saturated fats can make it difficult for your brain to fight against Alzheimer’s disease. According to this study, “Intake levels of both saturated and trans fat were positively and significantly associated with Alzheimer’s risk.”

Not only that, but saturated fats can cause your brain to have problems when it comes to forming memories. Bacon is delicious, but make sure you’re not eating too much of it!

8. Fast food

It’s the end of the day, you’re tired, and you just want to run through the drive thru and get some dinner. We’ve all been there! There’s no shame in it. Unfortunately, fast food is a cocktail of unhealthy foods that you’ll want to limit the intake of, not just for your physical health, but for the health of your brain as well.

“Trans fats can get incorporated into the brain but they do not allow the signals to flow in the normal way. In layman’s terms, the brain gets thicker – and in practical terms it makes you thicker,” says nutritionist Patrick Holford.

Too much fast food can make our brains more vulnerable to depression. Try to eat fast food only once in a while to keep your brain healthy and happy.

Final thoughts

“Some foods have negative effects on the brain, impacting your memory and mood and increasing your risk of dementia.” – Elise Mandl

Food can be so good for our bodies! We need it to live, after all! There’s so many foods that we can’t get enough of. But, on the flip side, there is also food that our bodies can probably use less of. Enjoying those unhealthy foods isn’t the worst thing in the world, but only in moderation.

7 Early Warning Signs of Mono to Never Ignore

February 24, 2018 by Power of Positivity

“It typically occurs in teenagers, but you can get it at any age. The virus is spread through saliva, which is why some people call it ‘the kissing disease.’” – Jacquelyn Cafasso

Young adults and teenagers are usually well aware of mononucleosis. Mononucleosis is more commonly known as “mono” the “kissing disease”. However, getting mono doesn’t always require kissing.

“The virus that causes mono is transmitted through saliva, so you can get it through kissing, but you can also be exposed through a cough or sneeze, or by sharing a glass or food utensils with someone who has mono,” adds Mayo Clinic.

If you’re not sure whether or not you have mono, keep an eye out for these particular warning signs. There are some key symptoms that will keep you alerted to whether or not you’ve caught mononucleosis. If you start showing symptoms, talk to your doctor.

7 Early Warning Signs Of Mono To Never Ignore

1. You’ve kissed someone who’s shown symptoms

Because mono is known as the “kissing disease,” you’re probably going to be more at risk for catching mono if you’ve recently been in contact with someone who is showing symptoms. You would be at risk for the flu or the common cold in the same way.

“The virus is spread through direct contact with saliva from the mouth of an infected person or other bodily fluids such as blood. It’s also spread through sexual contact and organ transplantation,” says research analyst Jacquelyn Cafasso.

Therefore, kissing isn’t always required to catch mono. You may be at risk if you’ve shared drink or food with someone who is showing symptoms. Be aware of those around you and the symptoms that people are showing! Always wash your hands and try to keep your contact limited with people who are sick.

2. Fever

You always want to be wary of a fever. A fever is your body’s way of telling you that it is fighting off a sickness. Keep track of how long you have your fever. A flu or cold may cause a fever that lasts one or two days. However, a fever that is caused by mono tends to hang around longer than normal.

A fever of 101 or 102 that persists for more than three days should be checked out by your doctor. Persistent fever is a sign of mono that should never be ignored, so make sure you get it looked at by a doctor.

3. Fatigue

Being run down and exhausted is pretty normal with a lot of illnesses. However, severe fatigue is one of the early warning signs of mono. “Often the person says, ‘Doc, I’m sleeping a lot but I’m still tired and don’t feel like I’m doing too much,’” says osteopathic family medicine physician, Robert I. Danoff, DL.

When you have early signs of mono, your fatigue is going to be long-term and persistent. This isn’t something a quick nap will be able to alleviate. If you’re feeling more exhausted and run down than normal, consult with your doctor and make sure that you get tested for mono.

4. Abdominal pain

When you get mono, you can get an enlarged spleen. This is an early warning sign that your body is trying to fight off this virus. You will feel the pain in the upper left part of your abdomen. Abdominal pain is no joke, so if you’re feeling a dull pain, you might want to go see a doctor. Most people don’t know about this particular warning sign. When you’re not feeling well and you think it might be the flu, pay attention to your stomach for signs of mono.

5. Breathing problems

Being short of breath, having issues breathing, not being able to catch your breath, and audible breathing are all signs of mono. “Complications of mono can cause obstruction of the airway from inflammation, causing difficulty breathing or wheezing,” says Dr. Adam Horblitt.

If you find yourself with some flu or cold-like symptoms, and you’re having more trouble breathing than usual, it might be a sign that you’ve got mono. Make sure to talk to your doctor if you’re experiencing shortness of breath or wheezing.

6. Sore throat

In addition to all the other symptoms, mono also causes a sore throat. The sore throat itself may be caused by swollen lymph nodes on the side of your neck. If you still have your tonsils, especially for teenagers and young adults, the tonsils may be swollen as well.

“Some people may mistake the mono virus for the flu virus based on the initial symptoms. Pus in the back of the throat and swollen tonsils may accompany the pain. A sore throat may last for several weeks with the virus,” adds registered nurse, Abigail Adams.

If you go into your doctor, they may begin to test you for strep throat. However, make sure to mention any other symptoms that you may have so that your doctor can also test you for mono, just in case.

7. Rashes

If, by chance, you go into your doctor with a sore throat and they give you a treatment for strep, keep an eye out for a rash developing on your skin. When you have mono, you’re more likely to react to the antibiotics that are generally prescribed to treat strep throat. This is usually the first indication that someone has mono. If you go to the doctor and take medication for strep but find that you’re developing a rash, call your doctor so you can get tested for mono instead.

Final thoughts

Mono isn’t fun, and while it’s normally considered an illness that mostly teenagers and young adults get, anyone can get mono. Make sure that you wash your hands and stay away from people who are sick if you can help it. Mono can look like a lot of other illnesses, like the flu or the common cold. Make sure you keep an eye on any of these symptoms, especially the ones that don’t mimic the flu, like a rash or a persistent fever and chronic fatigue. Once you spot the signs of mono, contact your doctor so you can get a test and get treated as soon as possible. That way, you can go back to feeling 100%!

How to Make Pineapple Ginger Smoothies to Help With Pain And Inflammation

February 24, 2018 by Power of Positivity

Do you like to juice? How about mixing some delicious fruits and veggies? How about making fruit and veggie smoothies to help eliminate pain and inflammation?

Sound good?

“Juices of fruits and vegetables are pure gifts from Mother Nature and the most natural way to heal your body and make yourself whole again.” ~ Farnoosh Brock, The Healthy Juicer’s Bible: Lose Weight, Detoxify, Fight Disease, and Live Long

Okay, let’s make that smoothie!

First, here are the ingredients:

- 1/2 a Pineapple
- Two ribs of celery
- One head of Romaine lettuce
- A handful of cilantro
- A thumb-sized piece of ginger

In case you are curious, here’s what each ingredient does for your health!

Pineapple:

Supports the immune system; increases and maintains bone strength; promotes eye health; contains pain-reducing enzymes.

“Pineapples’ nutritional benefits are as fascinating as their anatomy,” says San Diego-based nutritionist Laura Flores, “As well as having high amounts of manganese, which is important for antioxidant defenses, pineapples also contain high amounts of thiamine, a B vitamin that is involved in energy production.”

Celery:

Lowers inflammation; protects liver health; promotes weight loss; encourages digestion; is an anti-bacterial.

In a study published in the journal Molecular Nutrition and Food Research, scientists conclude that – because of a molecule called apigenin, which celery contains – the vegetable reduces certain inflammatory markers. Apigenin also encourages proper immune system operations.

Romaine lettuce:

Aids weight loss; promotes a healthy digestive tract; helps maintain bone and muscle strength; strengthens the immune system; encourages cardiovascular health.

“A dieter’s dream, romaine lettuce has about eight calories and 1-2 grams of carbohydrates per cup. Although it’s low in fiber, it’s high in minerals, such as calcium, phosphorous, magnesium, and potassium,” says registered dietitian Natalie Butler, “It’s naturally low in sodium. Plus, romaine lettuce is packed with vitamin C, vitamin K, and folate. It’s a good source of beta-carotene, which converts into vitamin A in the body.”

Cilantro (coriander):

Lowers skin inflammation; reduces cholesterol levels; treats diarrhea; stabilizes blood pressure; prevents anemia; anti-allergic properties; improves bone health; aids in digestion.

“Some studies suggest that increasing consumption of plant foods like cilantro may decrease the risk of obesity, overall mortality, diabetes, and heart disease,” writes registered dietitian Megan Ware, “while promoting healthy skin and hair, increased energy, and overall lower weight.”

Ginger:

Alleviates nausea, relieves pain, reduces inflammatory markers, improves respiratory function, increases appetite, relieves cold and flu, and promotes heart health.

Studies demonstrate that ginger’s unique compounds and metabolites help prevent and treat certain illnesses. The compounds gingerols and shogaols have been researched extensively and shown to be effective.

This five-ingredient smoothie recipe is potent against pain and inflammation primarily because of the ingredients’ high concentrations of anti-inflammatory properties. It is also worth mentioning that this drink is fantastic for maintaining healthy immune system function – particularly during the cold and flu seasons.

What a rich array of vitamins and nutrients in romaine lettuce! Besides including the delicious veggie in this drink recipe, it’s worth considering as a stable in one’s everyday diet!

Note: Pineapple may clog up your juicer because of its tough and fibrous texture. Please consider removing the skin and chopping the fruit into smaller portions if this is a concern.

Enjoy!

Science Explains What Makes People Think Something Is Cute

February 23, 2018 by Power of Positivity

What makes something cute? What goes on in our brain that evokes feelings of “awwww….”?

Millions, probably billions of people spend countless hours perusing the web for the next adorable video. Kittens, puppies, monkeys, goats, babies, … you name it. Zoo animals, including animal “bloopers,” seem to be especially popular.

While the answer to this question may surprise many of us, the answer to “Why do we find something cute?” can be answered in one word: survival. While primitively-motivated, the rationale for why we find something cute is fascinating.

But before we get into the evolutionary mechanisms behind why we determine something to be cute, here are a few characteristics that all physically endearing things seem to have in common:

– Big, forward-facing eyes
– Rounded ears
– Coated fur (or rounded, potted belly)
– Loose limbs
– A large head that’s disproportionate to its body size

These features – and perhaps others – make up what is called kinderschema (pronounced kin-der-skeem-uh). Kinderschema is a set of physical characteristics that humans are naturally drawn towards.

But puppies, kittens, and other adorables aren’t the only things that trigger kinderschema. Human babies do, too; and it’s these similarities (rounded belly, big head, big eyes, loose limbs, etc.) between our offspring and, say, a puppy golden retriever, that makes us smitten with both the former and the latter.

Science Explains What Makes People Think Something Is Cute

What goes on in the brain when we find something adorable?

Ever stop and stare when you see a cute baby being wheeled through the mall? Petted someone else’s puppy as they were walking it? When we look at something cute and cuddly, two emotional cues suddenly fire within the brain. Neuroscientists call these emotional signals “hijacks” because they have a way of hijacking our attention!

First, the region known as the orbital frontal cortex, or OFC, becomes highly active. The OFC sits just above the eye sockets and has extensive connections with both sensory and emotional structures involved in emotion and memory. When it comes to “cuteness,” however, it’s the OFC’s decision-making properties that are key. This decision-making mechanism prompts us to want to hold onto that puppy, kitten, or baby – in doing so, we protect the baby or animal – a very natural human desire.

Secondly, the brain’s nucleus accumbens, or NAc, releases dopamine – the “feel-good” chemical – as it does when we do things like fall in love, have sex, or take certain drugs. Relatedly, excess dopamine is what prompts the urge to view the cute video – over and over again. That’s because dopamine, as it turns out, plays a key role in addiction. So it’s not too far off to say, “These cute videos are sooo addicting!”

Both of the above describe actions of the brain that encourage us to protect the baby (or cute animal) and rewards us for doing just that.

One girl shares her story:

“My brain did this very thing when I was at a dairy farm in Maui. A little baby goat came up to me and started chewing on my shorts! Normally, that’s not a thing I’d encourage. But look how cute and adorable his face is! Who could say no to you? I just want to cuddle you and take care of you!”

What does this have to do with survival?

We, humans, possess an intrinsic motivation to care for babies and children. These caregiving tendencies, honed through millions of years of evolution, provide the impulse to protect the child (or animal); even if this means disregarding our own safety in doing so.

Something else quite fascinating: our brain actively searches for babies, animals, and other cute things to protect and care for. Again, this action of the mind may arise from the dopamine “hit” we receive every time we see, hold, and care for a baby or animal.

Kinderschema is so powerful, in fact, that our brain reacts similarly when we see cartoon babies and other cuties. (Who doesn’t think the Minions in Despicable Me are lovable?)

Oh, and the complete absence of kindershema helps explain why most of us find certain creepy crawlies like spiders and snakes so repulsively hideous! Interesting factoid for ya!

Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbitofrontal_cortex
https://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/wired-that-way/the-science-of-cute
https://www.neuroscientificallychallenged.com/blog/know-your-brain-orbitofrontal-cortex

Researchers Explain Why You Need Someone Who Accepts You Completely In A Relationship

February 23, 2018 by Power of Positivity

Acceptance is extremely important in every relationship we have with another person. We always seek acceptance, even if we like to tell ourselves that we don’t. But seeking acceptance is a natural part of being human. We seek acceptance from our friends, our families, or coworkers, and even from strangers.

Researchers have long been putting in the work to understand why we need acceptance from people, especially from people in our romantic lives. Being with someone who accepts you completely will make changes to your life that you may never have guessed.

Here Are 6 Reasons Why You Need Someone Who Accepts You Completely In A Relationship

1. Less resentment

When we are met with a lack of acceptance from people who we love, this can slowly grow resentment in our minds. Having a partner who accepts you completely, no matter what, means that you won’t have any resentment.

“Accepting people does not itself mean agreeing with them, approving of them, waiving your own rights, or downplaying their impact upon you. You can still take appropriate actions to protect or support yourself or others,” says neuropsychologist and author Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

However, no one likes to be told what to do, how to do it, or be told that the things they do or like are unacceptable – especially if they’re not harming themselves or others. Resentment can cause a number of different mental and emotional problems, from anxiety to depression. It can even irreparably damage relationships. Relationships should be about acceptance of one another, not fostering resentment.

2. It brings closeness

Acceptance fosters closeness between both partners.

“We have all had moments when we wished our partner was thinner, wealthier, more romantic, and so on. Take a look at your expectations and ask yourself how realistic they are. Unrealistic expectations lead to chronic frustration, which my study found is the main reason relationships fail,” says relationship expert, author, professor and therapist Dr. Terri L. Orbuch.

Being with someone is often a learning curve, and learning to trust someone can take a while. When you’re with someone who accepts you for who you are, completely, then it brings both partners close together. Being aware that your partner accepts you for who you are opens up trust that allows partners to connect and grow closer together. It can even improve a relationship when acceptance replaces nonacceptance.

3. Personal growth

When you are with someone who doesn’t accept you for who you are, your personal growth is stunted. When someone doesn’t accept you, even when they never say it, they will still act and behave towards you in a way that shows that lack of acceptance. On the other hand, when you find someone who accepts you as you are, your personal growth expands. You are capable of learning new things and experiencing growth as a person. You’re able to foster your own unique abilities and skills without judgement.

“It’s good when someone encourages you to be the best you can be. As long as you still get to be you. Pushing our loved ones to be better is part of what a successful relationship entails. However, if your loved one asks you to be things you’re not, or compares you unfavorably to others, then you should hear warning sirens in your head,” says translator Carolina June.

4. Letting go of control

We can’t control everything. When we try to control everything around us, especially other people, we’re left feeling frustrated and anxious.

“When we start a relationship we like to feel in control, powerful even – to protect ourselves from the vulnerability that comes with opening up to a lover. We may carry the hurt from past relationships, so we protect ourselves by trying to appear in control. Yet no relationship was ever deepened by lovers’ attempts to assert themselves over each other – rather, it is through the mutual exploration of their imperfections, fears and anxieties that true connection occurs. It may sound counterintuitive but it’s true,” says couples’ counsellor David Waters.

Having someone who accepts us for our flaws and uniqueness means that we have the ability to let go of that need for constant control. We want to control everything that we do, and we want to control how people see us. But since we can’t control how other people feel about us, we are often left feeling upset. Having at least one person who accepts us completely begins to free us from that need of control.

5. Peace and serenity

Being surrounded by people who don’t accept us, or parts of us, can leave us feeling like we’re caught in a world of anxiety and chaos. We don’t feel good about ourselves, and that can harm so many different facets of our lives. The importance of peace in our lives shouldn’t be overlooked. When you have someone who accepts you completely, you’ll be able to find an easier peace and serenity that you may not have known before.

“When we accept something just as it is, without judgment, without manipulating it to be something else or without a label, we experience peace. We can have the same peace in our relationship when we learn to accept our partner’s behavior without judgment or without trying to change them in some way. Letting go of our expectations of how we think they should be sets us free and we experience peace,” says therapist Tara Mills.

We all deserve to have a place in our lives where we know peace, and being with someone who accepts you completely can be that place.

6. Great self-esteem

Self-esteem shouldn’t be overlooked when it comes to mental and emotional health. With a lack of self-esteem comes a lot of depression and anxiety.

“People with low self-esteem tend to have “lower quality relationships” than people with healthy self-esteem. Their relationships have less love and trust, and more conflict and ambivalence. People with low self-esteem’s relationships are also less stable (more likely to break up),” says psychologist and author Alice Boyes, Ph.D.

“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.” – Brian Tracy

When we are with someone who doesn’t accept us completely, our self-esteem can drop drastically. On the other hand, having someone who can support you and accept you completely will raise your self-esteem, even when other people in your life don’t show you that same support or acceptance.

Final thoughts

Acceptance is a part of human existence. We seek acceptance from all kinds of people in our lives. Not everyone we come across will accept us for who we are, or accept us completely. However, being with someone who accepts us can drastically change our mental and emotional health, and researchers have agreed that acceptance is important to our well-being.

References:
https://www.lifeadvancer.com/date-person-accepts-the-way-you-are
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-wise-brain/201410/accept-them-they-are
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-terri-orbuch/9-new-ways-to-deepen-your-relationship-bond_b_6144640.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/relationship-advice-and-romance/11016984/Relationship-advice-five-experts-reveal-the-secrets-to-long-term-love.html
http://forgoodloving.com/should-you-accept-your-partners-bad-habit-how-accepting-your-partner-benefits-you.html
http://www.aliceboyes.com/low-self-esteem-and-relationships/

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Here Are 10 Signs You’re In A Relationship With A Control Freak

1. They go through your phone

2. They don’t like your friends

3. They don’t like when you make decisions

4. They’re always telling you what to do

5. They accuse you of lying

6. They have high expectations

7. They’re jealous

8. They want your passwords

9. You are never good enough

10. They need to know everything

Here Are 3 Ways To Deal With A Control Freak

1. Assert your boundaries

2. Have a support system

3. Leave

Here Are 8 Foods That Are Harmful To Your Brain

1. Highly processed foods

2. Alcohol

3. Mercury

4. Soda and sugary drinks

5. Sugar

6. Artificial sweeteners

7. Saturated fats

8. Fast food

Final thoughts

7 Early Warning Signs Of Mono To Never Ignore

1. You’ve kissed someone who’s shown symptoms

2. Fever

3. Fatigue

4. Abdominal pain

5. Breathing problems

6. Sore throat

7. Rashes

Final thoughts

Okay, let’s make that smoothie!

Pineapple:

Celery:

Romaine lettuce:

Cilantro (coriander):

Ginger:

Science Explains What Makes People Think Something Is Cute

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Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbitofrontal_cortex https://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/wired-that-way/the-science-of-cute https://www.neuroscientificallychallenged.com/blog/know-your-brain-orbitofrontal-cortex

Here Are 6 Reasons Why You Need Someone Who Accepts You Completely In A Relationship

1. Less resentment

2. It brings closeness

3. Personal growth

4. Letting go of control

5. Peace and serenity

6. Great self-esteem

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Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbitofrontal_cortex
https://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/wired-that-way/the-science-of-cute
https://www.neuroscientificallychallenged.com/blog/know-your-brain-orbitofrontal-cortex

Rise and Shine On!
Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist