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Sleep Scientist Explains 5 Ways to Beat Insomnia Forever

Does insomnia ever seem to find you in the middle of the night? Do you have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep? Does it sometimes feel like you might never get to sleep? If so, insomnia might be the reason for your troubles.

Insomnia is a sleep disorder that causes difficulty falling falling asleep and can also erode sleep quality.

For a lot of people, insomnia creates havoc in their day-to-day lives, making them exhausted and making it impossible for them to fall asleep at night. This often leaves them with only a few hours of sleep every night. Thankfully, scientists have broken the secret to insomnia, and there are ways for everyone to get the good night’s sleep they need to function during the daytime. Scientists explain how to make insomnia a thing of the past.

Here Are 5 Ways To Beat Insomnia Forever

insomnia

“Insomnia is a vertiginous lucidity that can convert paradise itself into a place of torture.” – Emil Cioran

1. Put away your screens

When it’s time for bed, many instinctively reach for the television remote, the tablet, or phones. We scroll mindlessly through our smartphones and tablets in order to help us fall asleep. Of course, we don’t know how many screens make it impossible to fall asleep.

Scientists and researchers have found that the blue light from our phones and tablets interrupts the hormones our bodies naturally make that tell us it’s time to fall asleep. When you reach for your phone to help you fall asleep, you’re telling your brain it’s time to stay awake.

Anne-Marie Chang, Ph.D., corresponding author, and associate neuroscientist, said, “We found the body’s natural circadian rhythms were interrupted by the short-wavelength enriched light, otherwise known as blue light, from these electronic devices. Participants reading an LED-eBook took longer to fall asleep and had reduced evening sleepiness, melatonin secretion, later timing of their circadian clock and reduced next-morning alertness than when reading a printed book.

Instead, turn your screens off a half an hour before bedtime, and do a relaxing activity like meditation or reading – but not on a tablet!

insomnia

2. No caffeine or alcohol

You want to stay away from coffee and tea before bedtime. The caffeine will make it hard for you to fall asleep and may disrupt your sleep cycle and wake you up if you do fall asleep before the caffeine hits. However, alcohol is something else that you should stay away from if you want to get a good night’s rest.

Studies prove time and again that alcohol “produces biphasic effects of both stimulation and sedation”, therefore, it doesn’t actually help put you to sleep, but rather “sedates” your brain.

Dr. Matthew Walker, director of the Sleep and Neuroimaging Laboratory at the University of California, Berkeley says, “Alcohol is a class of drugs that we call, “the sedatives.” And what you’re doing is just knocking your brain out. You’re not putting it into natural sleep.”

When you fall asleep due to alcohol, you spend less time getting good REM sleep and more time closer to the surface with a lot of restless sleep.

3. Don’t stay in bed while you’re awake

Get out of bed if you’ve laid there for at least twenty minutes and are no closer to falling asleep than you were at the beginning. “The reason is that your brain very quickly starts to learn the association between your bed being about the place that you’re awake rather than your bed being about sleep,” adds Dr. Walker.

Therefore, if you’re not sleeping, it’s best to get up and try to do a relaxing activity like reading a book or meditating. Don’t eat food, don’t check your email, and definitely don’t turn on a phone or computer screen. After a while, go back into your bedroom and try to fall asleep again.

4. Go to bed at the same time every night

Yes, this even includes the weekend. When you’re trying to beat insomnia, you have to make sure your body’s schedule clock goes back into alignment. Until you’ve successfully made it so that you can fall asleep and stay asleep, there shouldn’t be any late nights at the bar or partying with friends.

Director of sleep services at the Pritikin Longevity Center & Spa, Sam J. Sugar, MD, FACP says this:

The idea is that you’re creating a habit that the body then wants to stick to, so it tells you that it’s tired at the chosen time.

Therefore, every day, even on weekends, go to bed at the same time.

5. Sleep in a cool bedroom

If your bedroom is too hot, you’re not going to get the good night’s rest that you crave. According to studies, the perfect bedroom temperature is about 68 degrees Fahrenheit, or 18.5 degrees Celsius. Dr. Walker says this:

The reason is that your brain and your body need to drop their core temperature by about two or three degrees Fahrenheit to initiate good sleep.

Therefore, if the room is too warm, then it prevents our bodies from getting a good night’s sleep. Sleeping in a room that’s slightly cooler with a big blanket makes us fall asleep faster and stay asleep.

sleepless

Final Thoughts on Beating Insomnia for Good 

Insomnia isn’t forever; you don’t need medication to fix this issue. Once you can get your body on the right track, you can deviate from strict bedtime schedules. However, these are the best ways to ensure that your body gets the sleep it needs to have a productive and positive day.

On a final note, follow the words of clinical nutritionist Shawn Stevenson:

Unless you give your body the right amount of sleep, you will never have the body and life you want to have.

You still have a lot of hard work to do. However,  getting a good night’s sleep will take you a step closer to beating insomnia for good.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
http://uk.businessinsider.com/get-a-good-nights-rest-sleep-expert-fall-asleep-quicker-tips-health-science-2018-1?r=US&IR=T
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/27/sleep-better-expert-advice_n_3804979.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3763806/Want-best-sleep-life-bed-NAKED-Expert-reveals-10-easy-ways-banish-insomnia.htm

6 Ways To Release Attachments to Friendships That Hold You Back

Toxic friendships can be like someone putting weight around your ankles and asking you to go for a swim in the pool…

Friendships aren’t always the best thing for our lives. There are times where we may get trapped in friendships that are unhealthy or toxic the same way we may get trapped in a toxic relationship. Ending a friendship isn’t something that anyone wants to do, and knowing when it’s time to end a friendship can give everyone a sense of freedom and peace back in their lives.

There’s an old myth that frogs will pull down other frogs trying to escape a pot of boiling water. That’s likely the stuff of folklore, but the dynamic is real: In everyone’s life, there will always be people who will resist, threaten and sabotage the possibility of self-improvement,” says relationship development expert AJ Harbinger.

But how do you know if your friendship is toxic or just plain annoying?

According to Nicole Martinez, Psy.D. LCPC, toxic people “may have a number of motives. Some of them think that you will no longer want them in your life if you are to grow and get healthier as a person.

Friendships that hold us back don’t do anything for either person, and learning to let go will move us forward. Here are some ways to let go and end a friendship that is holding you back from being your very best self.

Here Are 6 Ways To Release Attachments To Toxic Friendships

toxic frienships

1. Find a support system

If it’s time to end a friendship, you need to ensure you have a support system of other friends who can help you. Ending a friendship when you don’t have positive relationships in your life can often leave you feeling alone and depressed.

Lifestyle expert Kris Carr says, “Seek guidance from a coach, therapist or a really grounded friend — the kind that loves you unconditionally and isn’t afraid to (metaphorically) slap you back to reality.

It’s important to keep a support network of good, positive friendships around you when it’s time to end a friendship that’s holding you back. It will help you heal and move on, and make sure you don’t let yourself fall back into the toxic friendship.

2. Don’t ghost them

It may be tempting to just stop talking to the friend you need to let go of altogether, but imagine how you would feel if that happened to you. Putting good energy in the world is always more effective than putting out negativity energies. Not only will it cause unnecessary hurt, but it can also cause drama. Instead, make sure you make it clear that the friendship has stopped being good and positive, and that you think it’s best if you go your separate ways – or, if the friendship is already on its last leg, let it end naturally.

3. Stand your ground

Sometimes, people won’t understand that ending a friendship is just as serious as ending a relationship. Your former friend may try to continue on as things were. However, if you know the friendship is holding you back and isn’t good for you, you need to stand your ground.

To help you stand your ground ,Wiki How states that “making a script ahead of time, and practicing, can help you stay calm and on track when confronting a toxic person. Write down all your thoughts first. Try to pull out the most important thoughts and form a few clear sentences explaining why you’re ending the relationship.

Don’t let them guilt you into being friends again – a friendship built on guilt can only crumble again. If they want to apologize, let them speak their piece but don’t allow it to change your mind.

4. Explain how you feel

What is it about the friendship that isn’t working? Why is it so toxic? What makes you feel as if the friendship is holding you back? Explaining how you feel is much better than just telling this person you no longer want to be friends. Not only is it good for you to express your emotions, but it’s good to be honest without being cruel. It should be your last act as this person’s friend to be honest with them about your feelings and why the friendship isn’t working.

5. Talk in public

Instead of doing something like this in a private setting where you’re more likely to be manipulated by an emotional scene, take it to a public setting. “It’s not unheard of for toxic people to get belligerent or even violent. Talking to them publicly can significantly diminish the chances of this happening,” adds Harbinger.

Go out for lunch or something of the sort, sit down, and have a real, honest talk. When you’re in public, someone is much less likely to be able to cause a scene or manipulate and guilt you into staying friends with them. Other people will often keep them in check and allow you to leave when you feel it’s time to do so.

6. Leave

Leave, and don’t let yourself look back on the friendship. When it’s over, it’s over. Of course, you’re always going to have the memories of your times together, even the times where you thought the relationship was healthy. But, the fact of the matter is, letting yourself move forward instead of looking back and continuing to speak to the former friend off and on is the only way you’re going to be healed. Letting yourself “look back” in the form of checking up on your friend is only going to hurt both them and you.

friendships

Final Thoughts on Releasing Toxic Friendships

Letting go of a friendship isn’t fun, but it will allow you to move forward with your life. Toxic friendships should be taken as seriously as any other toxic relationship. When the friendship is over, you will be able to foster more positive relationships that will let you heal.

Under the influence of a toxic person, you might second guess yourself on an important decision. You might even take on some of the same toxic qualities you resent in others — something that happens to the best of us — because toxic people have a peculiar way of making you toxic yourself,” adds Harbinger.

Don’t be afraid to end a relationship that is no longer working for you, because on the other side are more friendships that will make your life more fulfilling.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://theartofcharm.com/empowerment/cut-toxic-people-life/
https://www.bustle.com/articles/159131-11-tips-for-letting-go-of-a-toxic-friendship-even-if-it-seems-impossible
https://www.wikihow.com/End-a-Toxic-Friendship

Child Therapist Explains 6 Ways to Make Kids Talk to You More

Do you struggle to get your kids to talk? Do you feel a bit of frustration – even hopelessness – when trying to connect with them? Well, read on my friend!

Some kids are all too happy to jibber-jabber about anything and everything. Some kids don’t like to talk too much; instead preferring to keep to themselves. Children have different personalities, after all, which is something to behold – especially when you’re relishing in how your little one is “just like me.”

However, we need to know what’s going on in our kids’ lives. We want to know that they’re doing and feeling okay, and have the necessary information to help them if things are not.

Here are some tips that a child therapist gives to get your kids to open up:

Hold your tongue

Some parents fall into the wrong habit of lecturing when they need to listen. Make no mistake; sometimes we need to give our kids a good talking-to.

But if we’re always rushing in to give our two cents, they aren’t going to feel as if they are “part” of the conversation. They’ll shut down, in part, because it’s what they think you want them to do.

Silence is more uncomfortable for adults than it is for kids. Keep this in mind the next time you ask them a question only to blurt out the answer five seconds later. Approach the conversation with patience, as painful as that may be.

Forgo the advice

Here again, kids sometimes need a good dose of advice, like when they act up or get into trouble. But, many times, a child just wants an attentive ear – something that, as a parent, you should be eager to give.

Understanding that your advice is only useful when it is wanted is a good first step. Also, don’t feel slighted or unappreciated if your kid doesn’t “want to hear it.”

Sit with them with their feelings. Sympathize with how the situation must have made him or her feel. You may find that they’re much more willing to involve you in the conversation as a result.

mom is best friend for life

Connect with them every day

Make sure that you make time to connect with each of your kids every single day, even if just for a short amount of time. Relatedly, child therapists recommend spending time alone with each kid individually, as they feel safer and more willing to open up.

Connecting with your kids may be made easier by making it a habit. It’s also easier to start connecting with your kids while they’re young. For example, maybe you make it a habit of snuggling with your young daughter after school, or sharing a cup of tea with your teenager during the evening. All of these are perfect times for gaining insight into what’s going on in their world.

Set a “date night”

Let’s not kid ourselves: staying home can be extremely boring for kids. And when kids are bored, they’re much less likely to want to discuss anything voluntarily.

But if you make it a habit to, say, take them out to dinner or the mall once a week – even if it’s just to walk and talk – you build on the relationship. When your kid is having a bit of fun, they’ll often open up naturally.

Cultivate an understanding

Do you invite a positive response from your kids most of the time? If not, you may want to consider a few things. First, kids have a lot going on in their young minds: tests, extracurriculars, social life, study time, and so on. Teenage years are often the hardest, as you also have to contend with a new arrival onto the scene: hormones.

You have every right to a relationship with your child. You provide and care for them, and it’s important for children to understand and respect this. But, you’re more likely to find an avenue to communication if you approach them with a “friend like,” understanding demeanor.

Remain available

Here’s the thing: kids – for the most part – will talk when they’re darned good and ready. If you try to force conversation at an inopportune time, the child will become tight-fisted (or less than honest) about sharing anything!

While the younger ones may talk with little to no hesitancy (and with little “prompting”), older kids propensity to talk (or not) depends on your overall relationship. If you share a close relationship, you needn’t worry. If there’s some friction – which happens to with every parent and child relationship – take some time to mend things.

But always remain available and never waste an opportunity to interact – especially when it’s just you and them. Remember: they need you as much as you need them.

https://youtu.be/Q_U6VY7lNbI

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/communication/foolproof-strategies-talk
https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/get-your-kids-to-talk/

Science Explains How Smartphone Addiction Makes People Rude and Depressed

The smartphone has permeated society and become so ingrained in our culture that we really don’t give it a second thought anymore. Most of us wake up, immediately check our notifications, and bring our smartphone with us wherever we go, which ties us to it like a dog to a leash.

“The difference between technology and slavery is that slaves are fully aware that they are not free.” – Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Constantly checking our phones comes with a slew of health and psychological problems from staring at a tiny little device. It’s hard to fathom how a whole society can succumb to such an unhealthy addiction. Still, it also comes as no surprise seeing how we’ve become addicted to many other toxic habits and behaviors.

Below, we’ll go over the harmful effects of smartphones, and some solutions to this ever-growing problem.

Science Explains How Smartphone Addiction Creates Rude And Depressed People

Health Problems Associated With Smartphones

First off, we’ll talk about how smartphones make us physically unhealthy. Think about how often you stare at your phone and what position you place your head and neck in to do this. Your head weighs between 10 and 12 pounds, and bending it down for hours a day to look at your smartphone can put up to 60 pounds of pressure on your head and neck. Holding this position for so long can lead to loss of curvature of the spine, which can cause something called “text neck,” affecting many people each year.

Not to mention, this posture can even cause mood, behavior, and memory problems. According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, poor posture can make us depressed, and lethargic, and even affect the oxygen our lungs can take in.

Furthermore, using our cell phones for so much of the day can affect our circadian rhythm, making it difficult to fall asleep at night. Many people even wake up in the middle of the night just to check their smartphones!

Also, smartphones require us to stare at one thing for an extended period of time, which spells disaster for the health of our eyes. “Tired eyes” are becoming an epidemic, because we were never meant to stare at one object for such a long duration.

smartphone addiction

How Smartphones Affect Our Moods

Despite how antisocial and disengaged our environment, 75 percent of Americans don’t think their smartphone usage affects their ability to pay attention in a group setting, according to the Pew Research Center. Indeed, a third of Americans believe that using their phone socially benefits conversation.

We’re in complete denial of just how deeply addicted we’ve become to our devices and how this addiction affects us and those around us.

Smartphones effectively remove us from our reality, and if we have children, this can create long-term problems because they like to emulate our behavior. They’ll do the same if they see us with our heads down and immersed in our tech. This can severely stunt their development and create antisocial behavior, not to mention they will have to fight for your attention, which can make them feel unimportant and neglected.

Sadly, many parents even hand their kids their phones or iPad to keep them occupied or to calm them down during a tantrum. However, this doesn’t teach them any valuable skills and can result in a loss of nonverbal cues, which further stunts their emotional and mental growth.

If you look around you, you’ll see that the smartphone craze affects people of all ages. In fact, in 2015, the Pew Research Center reported that 24 percent of teenagers spend time online “almost constantly.” According to a Nielsen Total Audience Report from last year, most adults spend 10+ hours a day on electronic devices.

So, how exactly does our smartphone addiction affect our moods and ability to engage in our environment?

“Mobile devices are the mother of inattentional blindness,” said Henry Alford, the author of “Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That: A Modern Guide to Manners.” “That’s the state of monomaniacal obliviousness that overcomes you when you’re absorbed in an activity to the exclusion of everything else.”

A Study That Confirms the Impact of Smartphone use on Society

In a study published in Psychology of Popular Media Culture, researchers found that 70 percent of women said smartphones interfered with their relationships. So, our ability to engage with our environment decreases drastically with the use of our phones, and this can put a real wedge between you and your partner, friends, coworkers, family members, or anyone else important to you.

According to a study by the University of Essex in the United Kingdom, participants felt negative feelings toward the person they were conversing with when a cell phone was visible. Researchers asked 34 pairs of strangers to discuss both minor topics and important personal events that occurred in their lives. Half of the participants had a mobile device present. However, the other half had a notebook out on the table.

The results showed that the people who discussed serious events in their lives with a notebook visible felt trusting and close to the stranger, unlike those who had a cell phone present.

This proves that cell phones can interfere with relationships, especially if people are having a heart-to-heart conversation. Not to mention, using cell phones excessively can promote antisocial behavior and cause people to lose valuable social skills.

Researchers at the University of Michigan have found that empathy levels have decreased dramatically while narcissism has gone through the roof. Our emotional and physical well-being continue to go down the tubes while we allow smartphones to influence our lives and society.

We haven’t even gotten to the stress levels that constantly checking our cell phones produces within the body. A study performed at the University of Gothenburg in Sweden found that women who used their phones excessively were prone to sleep disturbances and stress. Conversely, high mobile use in men was linked to depression and sleep interruptions.

So, in conclusion, smartphones make us depressed, anxious, stressed, unhealthy, moody, antisocial, narcissistic, and uncaring toward others. How can we continue to operate in society knowing this information?

The Solutions To Our Smartphone Addiction

Well, smartphones seem to have become such a staple in our culture that we can’t get rid of them anytime soon. How can we still have them while maintaining our mental, physical, and emotional health? We have a few suggestions.

1. Limit your time on your phone.

We know; easier said than done. However, try to reduce your smartphone to 30 minutes daily. After you’ve mastered that, cut down another 15 minutes, and then another 15. Take baby steps so that you don’t get overwhelmed too quickly.

2. Change how you use your smartphone.

Sure, you could spend all day on your phone if you wanted to, with the number of apps and entertainment readily available. However, this is a big part of the problem. We use our phones not just to call and text people anymore. We use them to escape, as a crutch, or as a substitute for talking to real human beings around us.

This is not healthy behavior, so if you recognize this in yourself, it’s important to accept this first of all. Once you identify the behavior, you can work on changing it. Use your phone only to talk to family and friends, severely limiting your time doing anything else. Phones were never meant to substitute for living in the real world.

3. Have hobbies and other interests.

It’s also important to use your time doing things you truly enjoy. While sitting on a smartphone all day is certainly easy, is it truly fulfilling? Most people would probably say “not at all.”

Try to find things to do that engage you with others. That’s because human interaction is absolutely necessary for good mental health.

Final thoughts

It’s easy to turn a blind eye to the problem that smartphones create for society, but that will just amplify the problem. We all need to strive to put down our technology more. Instead, make an effort to engage with our fellow human beings. Smartphones create walls between us, making us rude and more fearful and distrusting of our neighbors while talking with them helps us realize that we’re all more connected than we think.

Sources:
https://realspinesurgery.com/text-neck/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25222091
HTTPS://WWW.NPR.ORG/SECTIONS/HEALTH-SHOTS/2014/12/03/368213774/DON-T-LET-TECHNOFERENCE-RUIN-YOUR-LOVE-LIFE
http://www.pewinternet.org/2015/04/09/teens-social-media-technology-2015/
http://www.nielsen.com/us/en/insights/reports/2017/the-nielsen-total-audience-report-q1-2017.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21281471
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407512453827

5 Pains In Your Body To Never Ignore

“He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.” – Thomas Carlyle

When our bodies are in pain, that means that they are trying to tell us something. “You know your body best… When you see or feel something different or just feel ‘off,’ pay attention; don’t dismiss it,” says deputy chief medical officer, Len Lichtenfeld, M.D. Usually, pain can be explained away. Maybe you’re dehydrated and you have a headache, so you drink some water to make you feel better. Or, your muscles are sore because you’ve been working out at the gym. These are 5 pains that have easy explanations and can be fixed at home.

However, there are some categories of pain that take place in parts of your body that you don’t want to ignore. Here are some of the places to never ignore pain that you can’t explain away.

Here Are 5 Pains In Your Body You Shouldn’t Ignore

1. Abdominal pain

Pain that focuses in the abdomen isn’t something that should be ignored. There are many different explanations for abdominal pain, and it could be something quite serious. For example, pain in the abdomen could be caused by gallstones, pancreatitis, or an ectopic pregnancy.

The gut… is significantly linked to overall health and disease. However, many people put up with discomfort because they believe such pains are common,” says consultant gastroenterologist, Dr. Reshma Rakshit.

If you ever feel pain in your abdomen that is severe, abnormal, and has no immediate cause, you will want to consult your doctor right away. Getting abdominal pain checked out as soon as possible will keep you safe from any dangerous illnesses that you can’t see inside your body.

2. Headaches

Everyone gets headaches. Usually, all you have to do is pop some aspirin and drink some water. However, severe headaches can be caused by something far more serious. If your headaches are debilitating, or cause you to have flashes of light in front of your eyes, you may be dealing with migraines. Severe headaches can also be caused by a bleeding stroke. However, a “bleeding stroke” headache will come on quickly and become incredibly intense within just a few seconds.

If you have a cold, it could be a sinus headache… But you could have a brain hemorrhage or brain tumor. With any pain, unless you’re sure of what caused it, get it checked out,” says spokeswoman for the American College of Physicians, Sandra Fryhofer, MD. Therefore, if your headache is abnormal and severe, see a doctor as soon as you can to avoid any serious issues.

3. Leg pain

Pain that originates in the legs and calves could be from working out if you have a regular gym routine. However, if you’re not the type to hit the gym, you want to be careful of sudden or severe pain in your legs and calves. Leg pain is one of the most common types of pains for blood clotting. This type of pain will be much different than a regular leg cramp, and you’ll be able to feel it deep down in your leg.

The danger is that a piece of the clot could break loose and cause pulmonary embolism [a clot in the lungs], which could be fatal,” adds Fryhofer. If you don’t have an explanation for why your leg is suddenly hurting, make sure you get to a doctor as soon as possible so that they can rule out a blood clot in your leg.

4. Upper back painhealth-happiness

Pain in the upper back can be caused by any number of things, from overworking your muscles to lifting something that’s a little too heavy. However, it’s not a pain that you want to brush off if it’s severe and comes on quickly. “In rare cases, pain may be caused by other problems, such as gallbladder disease, cancer, or an infection,” states WebMD.

Upper back pain can also be caused by muscle spasms, pressure on the spinal cord caused by herniated disks, and even tears in your aorta that can cause blood flow to go to the wrong place. If you’re experiencing severe pain in the upper back, make sure you go to a doctor right away and make sure it isn’t something serious.

5. Tooth pain

Most people have experienced dental pain in some form of another. Either you’ve gotten a cavity, or those pesky wisdom teeth have decided to start coming in at the worst possible time. However, dental pain can also be very serious, and it isn’t something that you want to ignore. If you’ve still got your wisdom teeth and you have severe and very painful dental pain, you could possibly have an impacted wisdom tooth.

Another explanation for dental pain is a tooth abscess, which will also cause swelling throughout your jaw and throat. These two things can be extremely painful, so make sure you go to the dentist any time you have severe and abnormal tooth pain.

Emergency room physician Leigh Vinocur says, “You notice your neck is getting swollen, the skin looks red, your voice sounds funny, you’re drooling because you can’t swallow your own saliva, it can actually track down to your airway and cause airway obstruction. Don’t let a tooth ache get that bad.

Final thoughts

We put our bodies through a lot during our daily lives, and having some aches and pains are normal, especially as we age. However, it’s always important to know what type of pain is normal and what type of pain isn’t. There are bound to be times where you feel pain and are able to explain why you ache – however, when you feel abnormal or severe pain, don’t hesitate to go to the doctor and figure out exactly what it is. It’s much more important to be cautious and proactive, especially when it comes to the pain in our bodies!

 

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://www.aarp.org/health/conditions-treatments/info-12-2012/symptoms-you-should-never-ignore.html
https://www.webmd.com/women/features/serious-pains#1
https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/health/640335/stomach-pains-health-issues-what-your-stomach-is-telling-you-bloating-cramps-diarrhoea
https://www.webmd.com/back-pain/tc/upper-and-middle-back-pain-overview#1
https://www.today.com/health/5-potentially-deadly-body-pains-you-should-never-ignore-t6926

Behavior Experts Explain How Humblebragging Pushes People Away (And How to Avoid It)

Humblebragging ‘: Make an ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement with the actual intention of drawing attention to something of which one is proud.’ ~ Oxford English Dictionary

Most people respect those who are real. We don’t like (or tolerate) fakers, which is a good thing. Humblebragging is, as the word itself implies, the act of masking egotism with humility. It’s an act of fakery, and it makes us dislike the person.

Apparently, humblebragging is also common. Here’s what Ovul Sezer, an assistant professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina (UNC), has to say:

“It’s such a common phenomenon. All of us know some people in our lives, whether in social media or in the workplace, who do this annoying thing,” Sezer adds, “You think, as the humblebragger, that it’s the best of both worlds, but what we show is that sincerity is actually the key ingredient.”

Science Explains How Humblebragging Pushes People Away (And How to Stop)

Humblebragging Study

Sezer and her colleagues at UNC conducted several experiments, all of which were designed to (a) see how common humblebragging is, and (b) how other people perceive it.

Out of the nearly 650 people surveyed, 70% were able to remember a recent humblebrag. 70 percent!

Sezer and her team also discovered two main types of humblebraggers: the complaint humblebragger, and the humility humblebragger. Complaint humblebraggers often use a complaint to disguise their vanity, e.g., “Gosh, I don’t think this $200 dress looks all that great!”

Of course, they anticipate some type of flattering feedback (“Oh, no, you look gorgeous in that dress!”)

Moving onto the second variation: the humility humblebragger. These folks convey a sense of false modesty to brag about themselves, often in the form of an open-ended question. “Why does the boss always call me when something important needs to be done?”

(What are we supposed to say? “I don’t know. I guess you’re the smartest, most talented super-achiever in here!”)

On a more serious note, such behavior not only reeks of insecurity, but it is also exceptionally annoying. Unsurprisingly, people don’t respond very well to humblebragging.

humblebragging

In fact, most people prefer the old-fashioned I’m-the-best-type bragging over humblebrags. Why? Because old-fashioned braggadocio is at least genuine, and they’re not trying to deceive anyone.

In other words, sincerity matters a whole lot. Dr. Sezer adds “Sincerity is a very important (personality) dimension and we value this character trait.”

Humblebrags In The Workplace

Predictably, many humblebraggers ratchet up their “covert” self-promotion at work. Around 33 percent of the study’s participants noted that they heard humblebrags in the workplace.

Pop quiz time: If humblebragging is common in the workplace, where else in a professional environment would someone do it? (Hint: it happens before they’re hired.) Got your answer?…

If you said “the job interview,” you are correct! (*Virtual Fistbump*)

Yeah, humblebragging happens a lot during interviews, apparently. Dr. Sezer cites one particular (overused, cliché) interview question that’s a fave of humblebraggers: “What’s your biggest weakness?”

How do you think a humblebragger would answer this question? Let us count the ways.

– “I don’t like breaks because I’m such a hard worker.”
– “I may take too many things on at one time.”
– “I’m not good at work-life balance…because I’m all for work!”
– “I’m a perfectionist. I don’t tolerate mistakes from myself.”

Interviewer reply (in a perfect world): “Ugh…really? That’s your most glaring weakness? Sure it isn’t. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Ethical Self-promotion

To be fair, the workplace is often a competitive environment. People like to have their achievements and hard work recognized, which is often key to a better salary, a promotion, or something else. But there are more effective methods of self-promotion than humblebragging, which is no different than outright deception.

In an unfair world, sometimes a bit of self-promotion is necessary; not only in the workplace but in everyday life. Fortunately, there are effective and ethical ways of going about it.

Here are a couple of ideas, according to Dr. Sezer:

– Have a work friend or associate talk about your accomplishments.
– Speak up about your achievements if there is something at stake.

Final Thoughts

“Sincerity is a very important dimension and we value this character trait,” Sezer explains. “We want to see genuine people and real people. Humblebragging comes off as fake.”

As a whole, bragging is distasteful behavior. There is honor and reverence in being a “quiet professional” that our society – especially the business environment – would be better off for embracing.

From the sober lens of realism, however, self-promotion may open some doors in both personal and professional situations. On this note, there is nothing wrong with engaging in honest dialogue about your achievements, character, and any intangibles that you bring to the table.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
http://time.com/5095144/humblebrag-bragging/
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/humblebrag
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/01/12/scientists-reveal-why-humblebragging-could-cost-you-a-promotion.html
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