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Researchers Reveal: People Who Stay Away From Depression Do These 5 Things

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”– Laurell K. Hamilton

If you’ve ever had depression, it’s difficult to describe just how deep those wounds go within your soul, and how it feels to have to fight through every day. Living with depression can feel like drowning in your own head, with nothing around to hold onto. Unfortunately, studies show that those who have had depression at any point in the past have about a 50% chance of relapsing; after a second episode of depression, the relapse rate goes up to 70%, and after the third, up to 90%. This isn’t meant to further depress anyone, but to simply provide insight and show how damaging depression can be if left untreated.

Fortunately, there are ways to avoid relapsing into depression as long as you have the willingness to implement the practices in your own life.

Researchers Explain 5 Ways To Stay Away From Depression

1. Keep up your treatment

Just because your symptoms may begin to subside, it doesn’t mean you should give up on your coping strategies. Depression can occur at any point in someone’s life, especially if they have suffered from it before in the past. If you take medication for depression, don’t just stop taking it cold turkey because you start to feel better one day and think you can live without it.

If you do wish to stop taking the medicine, make sure to talk to your psychiatrist or healthcare professional first. If you use natural remedies such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, make sure to keep these a part of your lifestyle, even if you don’t practice them as often as you used to.

Even if you don’t feel depressed anymore, it can never hurt to have a little relaxation and mindfulness in your life!

2. Have a support group to turn to

We weren’t meant to go through life alone, and we shouldn’t have to. It’s important to have even one close friend or family member to turn to in times of crisis, but if you don’t have a support group already, you can always find one. Consider going to therapy if you need to talk through something that’s bothering you, or seek out free online resources for help.

If you are in immediate danger and need someone to talk to right away, you can visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

depression quote

3. Keep yourself busy

They say that an idle mind invites demons to play, because it gives you a lot of time to ruminate, which can lead to a depressed state of mind. Avoiding a relapse into depression can be as simple as having a routine and sticking to it. However, make sure you don’t just keep yourself busy for the sake of being busy – have activities in your schedule that you actually enjoy.

For example, maybe you could take yoga classes a few times a week after you get off work, or get a gym membership if you enjoy that type of exercise.

Speaking of which…

4. Get your body moving

By simply googling “depression and exercise,” you can find a plethora of studies citing the benefits of exercise for depressive symptoms. Exercise doesn’t just help you keep excess weight off and build muscle; it can literally rewire your brain and improve your mood. Most people think of exercise as a chore or as something unpleasant, but it doesn’t have to be.

You can exercise in thousands of different ways, so there’s bound to be something out there that works for you! If you don’t like gyms, you can try to find a club in your area that gets together for organized sports, or take up hiking or biking if you like solo activities. There’s something out there for everyone; you just have to get up and try out different things to discover how YOU like to move your body!

5. Be compassionate toward yourself

No one is perfect, and there are days when you won’t feel so good about yourself. However, you have to remember that you are your own worst critic, and in reality, you’re probably doing an amazing job in life. We can only see things through the lens of our own thoughts, so when you get down on yourself, try to adjust your lens a little bit. Keep in mind that this life isn’t easy, and there’s not a single person out there who has it mastered completely.

Be kind toward yourself, and remember to make yourself a priority every once in a while. Take the time you need to unwind, recharge, and feed your soul – you deserve it.

https://youtu.be/CU2LlJxEdJ4

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
https://www.powerofpositivity.com/avoid-depression-relapse/
http://themindunleashed.com/2018/01/free-depression-forever-applying-10-basic-principles.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2169519/
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/exercise-is-an-all-natural-treatment-to-fight-depression

7 Signs You’ve Found Your Best Friend For Life

Best friends are kind of like soul mates – when you find your best friend, you’ll never find someone quite like them. Friends come and go from our lives for all sorts of reasons, but when you have a best friend, they’re going to stay in your life no matter what happens between you. But what sets a best friend apart from the kind of friends that will come and go with the tide of your individual lives? There are some telltale signs that the person you have with you is your best friend and they’re never going to leave you.

Here Are 7 Signs You’ve Found Your Best Friend For Life

“The biggest ingredient in a best friend is someone whose actions you respect and who you can truly be yourself around.” – Renee Olstead

 

signs of a best friend

1. They always know when you’re upset

There’s no need for you to spell out when you’re feeling upset – a best friend will be able to tell that you’re not feeling 100% without you having to say anything. This person will be able to tell how you’re feeling just by looking at you, or just by seeing how you’re acting. Other friends may be willing to listen when you’re upset, but only a best friend will know what you need before you even say it.

2. You always have an amazing time together

Hanging out at the apartment? Amazing. Going to a bad movie? Awesome. Taking a walk to the store? Fantastic. Everything you do together comes out good, and you’re always having a great time together. You care more about being together than what you’re doing, which means that you’re always going to be having a great time no matter what you choose to do. You never feel like you’ve wasted time when you’re together, even if all you do is sit on the couch and watch television.

3. They’re always supportive

No matter what you want to do, your best friend is going to be supportive of it. Do you want to entirely change your major? Then your best friend is going to help you figure out who to talk to. Do you want to go back to school entirely? Your best friend will be the one to help you fill out the application.

A best friend for life boosts you up, not drag you down, even if it means her moving to a different place to fulfill her dreams, or you having to sacrifice your social life to achieve your goals,” says nurse Trish Yulo.

Whatever your life goals are, and no matter how much they change, your best friend is going to be the first one to support you.

4. You have a lot of inside jokes

You’re constantly getting confused looks from all of your other friends because you have so many inside jokes that it sounds like you’re speaking another language altogether. Every time you hang out you seem to come up with more and more jokes that nobody else understands but the two of you. Sure, you may have a few jokes with your other friends, but you’re constantly making up new and hysterical jokes with your best friend.

5. They don’t ask for anything in return

…But you are happy to give it to them anyway. When your best friend offers their help, no matter what it is, you know that it won’t be a tally held against you. The same goes for you towards your best friend – there’s no reason to ask for anything in return because you know that they’re always going to be there offering their help whenever you need it. You don’t even keep track of who bought dinner last because you know that they will always offer to pay.

6. You talk every day

Texting, emailing, phone calls, or talking in person – it doesn’t matter how you talk, just that you always talk. Every single day. Maybe it’s only a few texts in the morning because you have a busy schedule, but that doesn’t matter. Your best friend will always make sure that they’re able to get in contact with you in one way or another.

7. They know you and keep you in check

Like, really know you. Aristotle defined a true friend as a “single soul dwelling in two bodies.” Your best friend knows you inside and out. They know the superficial things like your favorite food and your favorite music, but they also know the deep things like your childhood experiences and what your deepest fears are. They remember everything about you because these things are important for them to know. On the flip side, you know everything about them, too.

They use what they know about us to keep us in check. “Good friends will keep you in check to some degree and not let your head get oversized. They knew you before you made it big or achieved any accolades. They know the deep-down, base version of you. So not only will they support you when you succeed, but they remind you [of] where you came from,” says certified psychiatrist and the director of the Cleveland Clinic mood disorder unit, Robert Rowney, D.O.

best friend

Final thoughts on finding your best friend for life

Finding your best friend is like finding a piece of your soul that you didn’t even know you were missing. It’s someone who will be with you through thick and thin and who will always make sure that you feel listened to, supported, and loved. Good friends are important, but a best friend is for life.

Psychologist Explains What People Need Most In A Relationship (And It Isn’t Love)

“I strongly believe that understanding is more important than love, especially when it comes to parenting and an intimate relationship.” ~ Jeffrey Bernstein

Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist who has practiced for over 30 years. During this time, he has counseled adolescents, children, couples, and entire families. Dr. Bernstein has appeared on The Today Show, Court TV, and many television segments on both CBS and NBC. He’s written five published books and has been featured in Men’s Health, Ladies Home Journal, and Cosmopolitan magazines.

He’s a highly sought-after psychological expert and a brilliant man.

Dr. Bernstein is also a gifted psychologist who believes that love is not the most critical thing in a relationship. “Don’t get me wrong,” Bernstein explains, “I think love is great. I love my children and all of my family members. I love my wonderful fiancee.”

But love “is just not enough,” he continues, “I have met many divorced people who still love each other very much but yet they really never understood each other.”

Psychologist Explains What You Need Most In A Relationship (And It Isn’t Love)

In other words, Dr. Bernstein believes that the level of understanding between two people is more paramount to the viability of a relationship than love. Bernstein illustrates his theory using an unfortunate parent/child scenario:

“Some parents fail to ever really understand their children … sadly, many parents are never understood by their children … We tend not to like those parts of others that we do not understand.”

What Bernstein appears to be getting at is this: love without understanding is not “healthy” love. In the above parent/child scenario, the child doesn’t like the “part” of their parent(s) who never really understood him or her. The situation is all the more tragic when we consider that the child never really understood their parent(s), either.

In this case, would it really matter all that much if the child “loves” the parent? In this situation, a deeply-held biological imprint may be responsible for this love – not emotional reverence. This is a highly unusual emotional dynamic between parent and child.

While the variables understandably shift a bit, much of what Dr. Bernstein discusses applies to intimate relationships as well.

cares and appreciates

From Understanding to Empathy

“Well-adjusted couples work and learn to understand one another’s evolving needs as the year goes by,” Bernstein says, “Alternatively, couples that (divorce) have suffered a breakdown in understanding, also known as empathy.”

Now Bernstein is getting (quite literally) to the heart of the matter. Empathy, in plain speak, is a more potent variety of understanding – and one that is crucial in romantic relationships. Bernstein explains his viewpoints on the empathy topic using separation as the backdrop:

“Countless individuals reflect back on failed marriages or intimate relationships and say, ‘I guess we just drifted apart.'” Unsurprisingly, Dr. Bernstein doesn’t buy the “we just drifted apart” spiel: “Instead what likely happened is that they relied on their love versus their understanding to get them through difficult challenges and the passage of time.” (Emphasis mine.)

The emphasized points above are what resonate the most. Indeed, the presence of love but a lack of mutual understanding may pave the way to divorce court. “This often becomes translated to ‘I love you but am no longer in love with you,” explains Dr. Bernstein.

Checking the Ego

Ah, yes, the need to feel right; to feel superior. That’d be our ole’ friend, Ego.

Is it at all surprising that Ego obstructs communication, prevents understanding, and ends relationships? Rhetorical questioning aside, Ego has no place in a relationship. A relationship is, after all, a partnership. Intimacy demands vulnerability and trust in that partnership – something that our “me, me, me” Ego doesn’t like.

“Our egos are what seem to get in the way of understanding those who we love and care about. Often, it is our need to be right that makes what others think and feel so wrong for us.”

Egotism, though a dumb and childish behavior, is something we’ve all done, including the good doctor who admits “I have been quite guilty of this in some of my relationships.”

Bernstein delivers his final words:

“As I have written repeatedly … empathy is truly the emotional glue that holds all close relationships together. Empathy allows us to slow down and try to walk in the shoes we love … Not all relationships are meant to be. Yet all relationships that are meant to flourish in a healthy way, must stress understanding just as much, if not more, than love.”

Final Words

In closing, it is the incredibly deep and emotional bond of empathy (and to a lesser extent, understanding) that is considered more “important” that love in both intimate and parenting relationships – at least according to Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein.

While many of us may disagree with Bernstein, one thing is clear: our ability to empathize (understand) carries potentially severe implications for our relationships. We’d be the wiser – and our relationships, much healthier and fulfilling – by actively practicing empathy. How do we do this?

To help you answer this question for yourself, we leave you with a fitting quote from the late Dr. Steven Covey: “First seek to understand, then to be understood.”

4 Behaviors That Create Unsuccessful People

Why do some people thrive while others are unsuccessful?

“It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The ‘hard’ is what makes it great.” – Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks) in A League of Their Own

First, let us acknowledge that the word “success” is wholly subjective – it means different things to different people.

Many pop culture or success publications show what success is “supposed” to look like: a big house, slick car, fat bank account, or some other materialistic and elitist POV. There’s just one problem: these things don’t produce long-lasting happiness.

For the sake of this article, we’re going to define success as: Achieving personal and professional results which produce high levels of individual happiness.

Success is happiness – and happiness is success. In contrast, you cannot be one without the other. Going further, you can think of unhappiness as being unsuccessful, and vice-versa.

Lack of success (or lack of happiness) is the result of poor life choices and self-defeating attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs. Behaviors are the manifestation of attitudes, beliefs, and choices.

Here are four behaviors that create unsuccessful people:

emotional wellness

1. Unsuccessful People Often Have a Lack of Self-Control

Self-control is “the ability to subdue our impulses in order to achieve longer-term goals.” Also called self-discipline, self-control is crucial to success.

Self-control is what enables you to keep grinding away, no matter how uncomfortable the situation is. Instead of responding to immediate impulses (e.g., immediate gratification), we plan, evaluate alternative actions, and avoid doing things we will regret later.

When self-control is lacking, we may be tempted to overspend, eat too much, act lazy, and avoid doing the hard but necessary things.

Tips:

– Self-control is a depleting resource. Manage your energy accordingly.
– Don’t “fight” recurring impulses. Just let them pass!
– Directing your attention onto something else (see below) is an effective means of establishing self-control.
– Self-control becomes much easier the more you practice.

successful-people

2. Lack of Attention

The founder of modern psychology, William James, said it best:

“The faculty of voluntarily bringing back a wandering attention, over and over again, is the very root of judgment, character, and will … An education which should improve this faculty would be the education par excellence.”

Attention is taking possession of one’s mind and directing it onto the task-at-hand. It is ignoring distractions, whether they surface externally (the environment) or internally (mindless chatter, emotions.)

James believed as many experts do today, that attention is vital to life satisfaction. Accomplishing difficult aspirations demands single-pointed concentration. People who fail at what they set out to do often suffer from poor attention skills.

Tips:

– Accept that concentration is under your control.
– Expect your brain to fight and tempt you with distractions.
– Direct your attention to the task at hand.
– When your mind wanders (and it will), gently bring it back to the task.
– Repeat, repeat, repeat!

3. Lack of Direction Can Cause Unsuccessful People

Would you go on a cross-country trip without a GPS or some sort of map? Of course not! So why would you live day-to-day without a sense of direction? Why would you be satisfied to stumble aimlessly through life?

While it doesn’t make sense, many of us never attempt to chart out our life’s path. To be clear, “having direction” isn’t meticulous planning – this works for some people, but many find it tedious and boring (agreed!)

Having direction just means having a vision of what you want your life to look like, keeping this vision in mind, and doing what is necessary to achieve it.

Tips:

– Navigating life is analogous to navigating traffic: alternate routes and switching lanes – all while keeping the destination in mind.
– Many (most?) people lack direction in one or more areas of their life. There’s no shame in admitting such.
– Start simple: list the things you feel you can execute better and – one-by-one – come up with an open-ended plan to improve.
– Don’t overwhelm yourself with too much self-improvement. Many people quit because of this.

4. Lack of Ambition, Passion, and Purpose

Ambition is that “fire in your belly” feeling. It’s why you get to work early and stay late. In other words, it’s your purpose.

People who have a strong sense of purpose do what they love and love what they do. They are the first ones in the door and the last ones to leave. To work is to play. When things get hard, they remember their “Why.”

If you don’t have a “Why” you can’t have a “How.” If you don’t have a “How,” you are like a ship without a rudder, drifting about aimlessly in the beautiful, vast, mystic ocean that is life.

Tips:

– Similar to direction, many people lack ambition, passion, and purpose in their lives. Do not chastise yourself.
– Ambition, passion, and purpose can be – and ideally, is – your work. But it doesn’t have to be!
– Many people discover that serving others in some capacity (e.g., volunteering, tutoring, etc.) is the key to unlocking all three.
– It is NEVER too late to discover your ambition, passion, and purpose.
– Once found, measure them against every pertinent life decision that must be made.

Sources:
https://lifehacker.com/5978123/the-behaviors-that-destroy-your-financial-health-and-how-to-avoid-them
https://www.inc.com/sujan-patel/10-behaviors-of-unsuccessful-people.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/self-control

10 Ways to Detox Your Soul

We’ve all been raised to believe that a busy life = a happy life, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The modern lifestyle does have its advantages over previous ways of living, but it also contributes to the stress and health crisis prevalent in many countries. We have more stuff, but less time to enjoy it. We have more doctors, but less health. It’s time to detox. We have more food, but less nutrition. The list could go on and on, but you get the point.

You can find countless detox methods online for your body, but very few people remember that the soul needs detoxing as well. Modern living is very burdensome on the spirit, so you need to do a cleanse from time to time. Below, we’ll go over some ways to lighten your spiritual load and spread your wings once again.

Here are 10 ways to detox your soul:

1. Remove negative people from your life

“Whether through overt cruelty, passive aggression, or just for the hell of it, toxic people prioritize their self-interest above everyone else’s. They refuse—or are unable—to consider another person’s perspective or emotional state. Not caring to acknowledge how their behavior affects others, they disregard personal boundaries, avoid admitting it when they’ve done wrong, and are unwilling to change.”  Katherine Schreiber, Psychology Today

Does this above quote sound like anyone in your life? If so, you need to realize that they will only change if they want to. You cannot make them change, and you shouldn’t count on it. If someone in your life makes you feel depressed, anxious, or just not like yourself, then you shouldn’t go out of your way to keep them around. Negative people will only bring you down, and can even make you sick. Do what you soul craves, and seek out people who will make you happy.

2. Clear out clutter

Physical clutter has been shown to cause anxiety and stress, which means it doesn’t just affect the space around you – it also leads to mental anguish. One surefire way to detox your soul is to minimize your possessions and only keep things you actually need. Once you have a clean work and living space, the clutter in your mind will start to diminish, too.

3. Keep yourself hydrated

Did you know that up to 75% of Americans live in a chronic state of dehydration? That statistic is from 2013, but it likely hasn’t changed much since then. People have become addicted to sugary, carbonated drinks that only increase dehydration and insulin spikes. Water is the most natural drink on the planet, yet people seem to have an aversion to it. Making sure you drink at least a gallon of water a day will give you increased energy, clearer skin, better digestive health, and balanced gut bacteria, to name a few benefits. This will help your body feel better, which will in turn give your soul just the boost it needs, too.

4. Eat a healthy diet

When we consume unhealthy foods, our mind and spirit take a beating right along with our body. The importance of eating whole, fresh, nutrient-rich foods cannot be stressed enough, because proper nutrition helps every function in our body. Without nutrients, we would not be able to survive, and the best source of vitamins and minerals is in fresh fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, and grass-fed meats. Keeping your diet in check and detox. It will help you feel better spiritually as well.

5. Meditate

We could write a whole book about the benefits of meditation, so to keep things brief, meditation is to spiritual health what fruits and veggies are to physical health. It can lower blood pressure and heart rate, increase concentration, improve relationships, help with mental clarity, contribute to feelings of peace, and even boost compassion for others. This is just a small list of benefits, but these alone should be enough to get you meditating! Just 5-10 minutes a day of sitting in silence, focusing on your breathing, and detaching from life for a bit will do wonders for your soul.

ways to detox your soul

6. Treat yourself

In our fast-paced lives, we don’t spend nearly enough time pampering ourselves. With all of our responsibilities, there’s barely enough time left in the day to catch our breath. However, treating yourself every once in a while will give your mind a break from all of life’s stresses, and will just make you happier overall. Go ahead, eat that slice of cake or spend a little extra getting a massage. You deserve it.

7. Put down your phone

There’s really no argument to the fact that technology use has taken away from our quality of life. We spend less time talking to one another and more time scrolling mindlessly through (largely) useless information. Technology certainly has its place and benefits, but the way we use it in everyday life is detrimental to our well-being. Instead of going outside to play, kids would rather play on a tablet or watch hours of cartoons. Couples go out to eat and stare at their phones instead of one another. Parents scroll through Facebook instead of paying attention to their children. It’s because a real problem, and science has shown that overuse of technology is making us depressed and anxious.

Use some self-control and restrict your technology use to certain times during the day. You’ll be more present and mindful of your surroundings, and your mental and spiritual health will start to improve.

8. Move your body

The benefits of exercise are well-known, yet so many people live a sedentary lifestyle. Moving your body will help to free up your mind, which will help raise your spirits, too. There are so many different types of exercise; you just have to find one that works for you!

9. Find a job you enjoy

According to a Gallup poll, a whopping 70% of Americans are not engaged at work. That means that most people don’t like their jobs, but continue to work at them anyway. Of course, everyone must pay bills, and that is the driving force behind why people keep working at jobs they hate.

However, a little research and open-mindedness might grant you a job you actually do enjoy, so don’t be afraid to think outside the box. We don’t get to live forever, so we may as well make the most of our time here and have the courage to do what we love.

10. Get out into nature

Nature is reality; what we have created around it is not. Manmade creations will never give us the peace and serenity that nature does because we weren’t designed to live in an unnatural world. Make sure you take time to spend in nature as much as possible; it will help you reset your mind and rejuvenate your soul.

Researchers Reveal 3 Habits Intelligent People Have In Common

Think of two or three people in your life who you consider intelligent. Do they have any unusual quirks about them? If so, what are they? (Please comment! We’d love to hear from you!)

Intelligent people have certain habits in common that may be unorthodox, but it doesn’t stop their brains from working exceedingly well. In fact, multiple studies have shown that people who share these ‘fringe’ traits usually score higher on an IQ test and can intellectually function better than many of their peers.

So what exactly do they do differently? Here are 3 major traits and the science behind them…

3 Habits Intelligent People Have In Common:

intelligent people

1. They’re messy

Albert Einstein once quipped “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” Uhm… Burn! (That’s what one gets for egging on a genius…)

Einstein was known for his rather disorderly working space. Reading a bio of Einstein, the book included some photographs of Einstein at work. Piles of paper, no filing system, scattered books, and a contented genius.

There may be a reason that history’s most significant scientist didn’t give a crud (pun intended) about his working space. A 2013 study by professors at the University of Minnesota Carlson School of Management discovered that frantic clutter might be a useful methodology for creative problem-solving.

Einstein, by the way, is not the only brainiac to relish an unkempt work area. J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, and the former Roald Dahl, the artist who created characters such as Willy Wonka and Matilda, are famous for their muddled desks.

2. They curse a lot

Hey, don’t swear at the messenger!

Excessive swearing is still interpreted by much of society as an indication of low-level intelligence, limited vocabulary, and disregard for social customs. It turns out that this presumption may be completely false.

Come to think of it; this makes sense. You probably know someone who fits this description yourself.

Joking aside, a study by psychologists from Marist College discovered a relationship between how fluent a person is in English and a flowing harangue of curse words.

How did those folks in the lab reach this admittedly strange conclusion?

Well, they asked volunteers to list off as many unbecoming words as possible in one minute. Participants then received a verbal fluency test and, lo and behold, cursers tended to score higher on both. Verbal acuity, many believe, is one of the greatest benchmarks of intellect.

intelligent people

3. Intelligent people are night owls

The correlation between intelligence and a fondness for burning the midnight oil has been around for a long time. (And does makes a tad more sense than the other two habits.)

Basically, the theory that smarter folks tend to be night owls revolves around the fact that staying up later is original from an evolutionary perspective. Satoshi Kanazawa, a psychologist who has his fair share of loyal critics, provides his explanation:

“There is no indication in any of the (evidence) that any sustained (nighttime) activities occur in traditional societies, other than occasional conversation and singing … It is therefore reasonable to infer that our ancestors (limited) their daily activities to daylight, and sustained nocturnal activities are largely evolutionarily novel.

Kanazawa presents a childhood intelligence study wherein five groups of participants, categorized as “Very dull,” “Dull,” “Normal,” “Bright,” and “Very Bright,” and their average bedtime is represented graphically via a bar chart.

In the study, children whose IQ registered at or below 75 (“very dull”) went to bed around 11:40. Children whose IQ was recorded at or above 125 (“very bright”) went to bed around 10:30 am.

Hard to imagine readers of Kanazawa’s work being too thrilled with this one.

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