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5 Hidden Behaviors A Hypocrite Displays Before Revealing Themselves

“A theatrical mask from the 1st century B.C.E. ‘Hypocrite; comes from the Greek word ‘hypokrites,’ which means “an actor.” The word hypocrite ultimately came into English from the Greek word hypokrites, which means “an actor” or “a stage player.” ~ Merriam-Webster

People (REALLY) Dislike Hypocrites

Tennessee Williams once said, “The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that is also a hypocrite.” Agreed, Mr. Williams. Lying is bad enough, but lying about lying? That’s dishonesty at its most scandalous.

Hypocrites are the people who try their damnedest to convey a sense of virtue, only to reveal that they’re about as deep as a puddle. Unsurprisingly, people despise hypocrisy.

According to a study in Psychological Science, people dislike hypocrites more than those who openly admit to engaging in a behavior that they disapprove of.

“People dislike hypocrites because they unfairly use condemnation to gain reputational benefits and appear virtuous at the expense of those who they are condemning–when these reputational benefits are in fact undeserved,” explains psychological scientist Jillian Jordan of Yale University, a co-author on the study.

Another study by researchers at the University of Southern California showed that hypocrisy is made up of at least one of the following behaviors:

(1) Moral double standards occur when a person is vindictive about a perceived offensive act of someone else; yet, shows little hesitance or guilt in doing the same thing. (Example: cutting someone off in traffic.)

(2) Moral duplicity is generally the one we use to define the act. Moral duplicity is when someone claims to be honorable in their motives, but this is known to be a complete falsehood. (Example: a politician citing neutral views on an issue despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.)

(3) Moral weakness is a type of cognitive disconnect wherein a person’s beliefs or morals are trumped by their lack of self-control; thereby, they engage in the act knowing it to be wrong. (Example: a clergy member taking a vow of celibacy and then engaging in sexual acts.)

‘Pre-emptive Hypocrisy’

Do hypocrites display any peculiar behaviors before revealing themselves as the frauds they are? Yes, as a matter of fact.

Here are five such behaviors:

1. Inconsistencies

Of course, one may be inconsistent without being hypocritical. For example, an unpredictable employee who is capable of great performance may demonstrate inconsistent effort and results. They’re not hypocrites; they’re unreliable.

But hypocrites’ inconsistencies tend to be more calculated, and related more to word and deed – and this behavior gets worse as time passes. They’ll say one thing and do something else more frequently.

2. “Do as I say, not as I do.”

High expectations of others and little to no expectations of themselves. Perhaps this is all that needs to be said. The hypocrite may be articulate and charming in their manipulative efforts, but they’ll never emulate any standard they set forth for others.

Dean Burnett, a writer for The Guardian, uses the British political scene to emphasize this point: “Where do people get off dictating how others should behave, putting restrictions on what they can say and do that they don’t adhere to themselves? It’s wrong and immoral, and shows that they can’t be trusted.” Pretty much.

signs of a hypocrite

3. Playing the victim

Make no mistake: hypocrisy and narcissism are two peas in a pod. “Like peas and carrots,” as Forrest Gump would say. Both groups of people will always try to play the victim. Never is this act so evident as when they’re caught for being in the wrong.

Hypocrites can also be quite crafty. They may use sleight of hand to shake off any blame placed their way. This “Woe is me” attitude wears quite thin after a while.

4. An aura of superiority

A hypocrite’s level of arrogance and superiority is borderline narcissistic. Attempt to engage them as equals, as you’ll likely walk away feeling like a student who has just been reprimanded by the teacher. They’ll (directly or indirectly) mock your intellect, maturity (oh, the irony!), or stability.

Similar to playing the victim, this condescending veil will wear thin as the relationship progresses. After all, when no one likes you, it’s pointless to act superior!

5. They start being nice to “the right people.”

Watch a hypocrite carefully enough, and you’ll inevitably see their two-faced attitude come to the surface. The “important” people, i.e., those with power, will bear the brunt of a hypocrite’s inauthenticity. If those “important people” are smart, they’ll dismiss the charlatan without prejudice.

You see, hypocrites like to believe that they belong to a certain “class,” despite their victim-playing, complaining, and outright lying. The only “class” to which these fraudsters belong is alongside all the other phonies.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/717291/Newsnight-European-Union-BBC-bias-Twitter-Evan-Davis-Heidi-Allen-Reamin-Brexit
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/hypocrite-meaning-origin
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/we-dislike-hypocrites-because-they-deceive-us.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201603/5-ways-spot-the-hypocrites-in-your-life
https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2016/nov/17/its-only-wrong-when-you-do-it-the-psychology-of-hypocrisy

Doctors Explain How Eating More Fruits And Vegetables Can Improve Mental Health

For years, we’ve listened to the “Don’t forget to eat your fruits and vegetables!” spiel. Intuitively and fundamentally, we understand that fruits and veggies are good for our mental health.

Consuming the right amount of fruits and vegetables isn’t too hard. Eat 1.5 to 2 cups of fruit per day, and two to three cups of vegetables.

Yet, a whopping 88% of Americans fail to get enough fruit. Furthermore, over 90% don’t eat enough vegetables. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). 90% are missing out.

The physical health benefits of fruits and vegetables are well-documented. Individuals who eat an adequate supply of fruits and vegetables have better heart health, greater longevity, and a reduced risk of cancer than those who do not eat enough ‘F&V.’

The physical benefits of eating plenty of F&V should be enough to persuade all of us to eat more. However, the mental health benefits of fruits and vegetables are also numerous.

“These results provide initial proof-of-concept that giving young adults fresh fruit and vegetables to eat can have psychological benefits even over a brief period of time.” ~ Dr. Tamlin Connor

Dr. Tamlin Connor, of the Department of Psychology at the University of Otago in New Zealand, and her colleagues discovered that young adults who ate the recommended amount of F&V for two weeks displayed more flourishing, motivation, and vitality than those who did not eat the recommended amount.

The Study on the Impact of Healthy Foods on Mental Health

Dr. Connor and her colleagues randomly assigned 171 low-F&V consuming adults into one of three groups:

– a ‘diet-as-usual’ group (to compare against.)

– a ‘momentary intervention’ group, wherein each person received a text message reminder to eat more F&V and a voucher to purchase food.

– a fruit and vegetable intervention group in which participants were given two additional daily servings of fresh F&V to consume on top of their normal diet.

Participants rated the following both before and after the trial:

– Daily negative and positive mood.

– Vitality, flourishing, and flourishing behaviors (curiosity, creativity, motivation).

– Anxious and depressive symptoms.

Out of the three groups, only the individuals assigned to the F&V intervention “showed improvements to their psychological well-being with increases in vitality, flourishing, and motivation across the 14-days relative to the other groups.”

The participants received an average of 4 daily servings of fresh fruits and vegetables – namely, apples, carrots, kiwi fruit, and oranges.

The researchers are careful to point out that, while anxiety and depression may be relieved over the long-term by eating more F&V, two weeks is just not enough time. While none of the groups reported significant changes in this area, improvements to mental well-being in related areas may provide a glimpse into the value of supplementing F&V to relieve symptoms.

The team concludes:

“This is the first study to show that providing high-quality FV to young adults can result in short-term improvements in vitality, flourishing, and motivation. Findings provide initial validation of a causal relationship between FV and well-being, suggesting that large-scale intervention studies are warranted.”

A Look at Superfoods That Improve Mental Health

It’s likely that the vitamins and minerals contained within fruits and vegetables account for the improved mental well-being of participants in the above study.

Neuroscientists state that certain vitamins and minerals help the brain produce chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) vital for mental acuity and clarity, learning, memorization, and mood stability.

As with all foods, not every fruit and vegetable is created equal.

There will be days when it’s very hard to sit down for a meal, much less acquire the recommended servings of these nutrient-dense foods.

This is where superfoods come in! You can often can get the nutritional punch from one serving of a superfood than you can with two, uh, “non-super” foods.

The word ‘superfood’ describes food with high nutrient content and associated health benefits.

What Foods Should You Eat?

Here are some fruits and veggies that are superfoods:

– Avocados: 100 grams of fresh avocado contains 12 grams of healthy unsaturated fat. Contrary to asinine low-fat diet advice, monounsaturated fats are critical to health; they lower bad cholesterol levels, which in turn reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke.

– Blueberries: Blueberries contain a bunch of antioxidants, which are essential for fighting off harmful free radicals. These little blue delights can improve skin health, aid weight loss, boost brainpower, fight cancer, combat aging, and support digestion.

– Broccoli: Broccoli is one of the most nutritionally balanced foods. It has a good amount of dietary fiber, calcium, iron, and potassium. It’s also a good source of vitamins A, C, and K.

– Lemons: Lemons boost our immune system due to their high concentration of vitamin C. In fact, just one lemon meets your recommended daily amount. Lemon also raises good cholesterol levels and is a powerful anti-inflammatory.

– Spinach: Spinach contains vitamins A, and C. It’s also a good source of folate and magnesium – two critical building blocks of the brain chemicals dopamine and serotonin.

– Sweet potatoes: Sweet potatoes are one of the best sources of beta-carotene, which converts into vitamin A in the body. They’re also an excellent source of vitamins A, B6, and C, potassium, and fiber.

4 Hidden Signs of Clogged Arteries (And The Best Foods to Prevent It)

Keeping up with our health can be difficult, especially in this fast-paced world where eating unhealthily is the quickest way to a meal. Unfortunately, unhealthy foods can also pave the way to clogged arteries. You may be thinking that you have perfectly fine health. However, you very well may have clogged arteries without even knowing it.

But what exactly are clogged arteries?

A buildup of a sticky substance, plaque, can form on the inner walls of your arteries. Arterial plaque can reduce blood flow or, in some instances, block it altogether. Clogged arteries significantly increase the likelihood of heart attack, stroke, and even death.”

To start, check out the hidden signs of clogged arteries that you may not even notice, and then see the best foods to start eating to prevent it.

4 Hidden Signs Of Clogged Arteries

arteries

1. Unexpected baldness

Regardless of age, a study of 37,000 men found that baldness on the crown of their head suggested the presence of CHD, whereas a study of 7,000 people (4,000 of which were women) found that moderate to severe baldness increased the risk of death by heart disease in both men and women. You may think that balding is in your family, but it could also be a sign of clogged arteries that lead to heart disease.

You may want to seriously consider your diet and health if you have moderate to severe balding because it may just be your body’s way of telling you that something has got to change.

2. Pain in your calves

Especially while walking, pain in the calves is called “claudication.” Atherosclerosis can cause blockages in your arteries before CHD is detected, especially in people who smoke cigarettes. If you feel pain in your calves when you walk, and there’s no other explanation, such as a lengthy workout the day before, you will want to assess the pain in your leg quickly.

A doctor will measure the blood flow and pressure to determine whether or not you have poor blood circulation. This can help assess heart issues and clogged arteries as early as possible so no other damage occurs.

3. Crease in your earlobe

Do you spend much time thinking about your earlobe? No, I didn’t think so. Other people don’t, either! However, if you have CHD, you may find a crease in your earlobe that goes from your ear canal to the lower portion of your earlobe. Of course, this is all due to the poor blood circulation from your clogged arteries.

According to a clinical professor for medicine and author Joel K. Kahn, MD,Although some medical professionals have argued that a crease is just a general sign of aging, researchers last year used the most sophisticated CT scan method to measure silent CHD and found that ear crease predicted heart disease even after the authors accounted for other risk factors, such as age and smoking.

If you notice this ear crease, you must visit a doctor for a heart health assessment.

4. Erectile dysfunction

Of course, old age may also be a factor when it comes to erectile dysfunction, But for men who are otherwise at the age where obtaining an erection should be easy, this can be a huge indicator of clogged arteries. If an erection is difficult to achieve or cannot be maintained, it may be a sign that the arteries in the pelvis are clogged. As a result, they’ll have decreased blood flow to the penis. Most men were diagnosed with CHD after 3 to 5 years of the initial erectile dysfunction. So there’s plenty of time to look at it and discover the clogged arteries.

Now, it’s essential to know the signs of a clogged artery so you can get yourself checked out by a doctor. But it’s equally important to know the types of food to eat to help prevent your arteries from getting clogged in the first place.

Here Are 4 Best Foods To Help Prevent Clogged Arteries

“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” – Mahatma Gandhi

1. Fresh vegetables

Eating your veggies is very important, and it always has been! There’s a reason that your parents always tried to get you to eat your vegetables. Plant foods are very high in minerals, fiber, and vitamins. Thus, they keep your body healthy and your arteries free of clogs. According to Reader’s Digest, “people who ate 8 or more servings were 30 percent less likely to have a heart attack or stroke than people who consumed 1½ servings or fewer.

2. Herbs and spices

Adding herbs and spices to your meals is one of the easiest and tastiest ways of keeping your body healthy when it comes to blocked arteries. Most herbs and spices are even medicinal for the body, which means that even though they taste delicious and unhealthy, they’re incredibly good for you.

Have you wondered why, though?

Herbs and spices are plant-based, delivering the same protection as herbs and vegetables. When we consume these spices, they also protect the cells in our body from disease.

3. Fish

Certain types of fish are full of omega-3 fatty acids, which are ideal for your heart health. These fatty acids lower heart rhythm disturbances, lower your blood pressure, and even lower inflammation.

Fatty fish such as salmon is full of omega-3 fatty acids that increase heart health. Even a single weekly serving of fish could increase your heart’s functioning. So enjoy a plate of seasoned fish with herbs and spices and a healthy serving of vegetables. Indeed, it is a delicious way to make your whole meal heart-healthy.

4. Leafy greens

Arugula, kale, lettuce, spinach, and beets are all high in nitrate, which they get from the soil. Nitrate transforms into a gas during your digestion, with can help prevent blood coagulation. As a result, it minimizes both heart problems and strokes. Also, “one serving of nutrient-packed leafy greens (like spinach) a day can help reduce your risk of heart disease by 11 percent,” states Shape.com

Therefore, leafy greens are one of the best ways to unclog arteries.

arteries

Final thoughts on clogged arteries

Watching out for your health can be difficult. However, learning the right signs to look for and the right foods to eat can make being heart-healthy both easy and delicious. Avoiding clogged arteries and coronary heart disease is much better than dealing with either of those things down the line. Keep an eye out for these symptoms. Also, start switching your diet over to foods that can prevent clogged arteries in the first place.

5 Signs Someone Is Falling In Love With You

Can you tell when someone is falling in love with you? Many people think they can, but the signs aren’t always as straightforward as people like to believe. While many people assume that the obvious, grand gestures of falling in love are all they need to be able to pinpoint it. But people aren’t always that predictable!

There are plenty of subtle signs that someone you know is falling in love with you, or that your casual partner is in it for the long haul. It’s always best to know when someone you’re with falls in love with you because you never know what the future might hold!

Here Are 5 Signs Someone’s Falling In Love With You (That You May Not Realize)

“You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.” – Albert Einstein

1. Always has an excuse to talk to you

No matter the time or the situation, if someone is in love with you, they will always have time to talk to you. You could call them up at three in the morning. They’ll be available to listen. Someone falling in love with you definitely won’t get enough of having long talks or even short conversations.

“Firstly, if a guy has gone out of his way to talk to you, it must be for a reason, so why shouldn’t that reason be that he wants to get to know you better? Secondly, even when a guy seems to be talking nonsense, it is still a sign that he is interested and is trying his best to keep the conversation going,” says relationship expert Zara Hairston.

You may find that they’re always finding excuses to chat, even if it just means dropping by for a few minutes or sending a text message.

falling in love meme

2. Their face lights up when they see you

When you walk into a room, they can be doing anything at all – but the moment they see you, their attention is all on you, and their face looks like a lit house on Christmas. They look like they were waiting for you to walk into the room. If you catch each other by chance on the street, their excitement will be obvious, since they weren’t expecting to see you. This is usually so obvious that everyone else in the room has noticed, and they try not to smile.

3. They’re always giving you gifts

These gifts don’t have to be extravagant or even expensive. But the point is that they’re always finding reasons to give you little gifts that will remind you of them. Whether it’s a book they think you’ll like, a to-go cup of your favorite coffee from the cafe, or even a cool rock they found outside (…yes, really!).

“If he’s given you a nice piece of jewelry then he’s seriously committed to your relationship. Men just don’t give the good stuff unless you mean something special,” says relationship expert Dr. Pam Spurr.

Little gifts will be their way of making you happy, seeing you smile, and ensuring that you’re always thinking of them like they’re always thinking of you.

4. They’re always helpful

Do you need help moving your apartment? Do you need a ride to the store? Are you lost on this week’s work project? A person falling in love with you will always be there to help you. You probably know you can always visit them when you need something. They’re always willing to help you. They always seem to be the first person to offer you their assistance. Sure, they might just be super helpful. But they’re always willing to spend all their free time with you and ensure you’re never inconvenienced.

5. They’re genuinely interested in you

You probably have a secret, nerdy hobby that no one else is interested in. You’ve probably learned to keep it to yourself and enjoy it alone. However, when that particular person finds out about it, chances are they’re genuinely interested in what you like about it and want to experience it with you.

“If a guy is interested in you, he’ll?take the time to get to know you. He’ll not only ask about your family, work, hobbies, and interests, but he will listen to your answers. For example, he’ll remember your favorite food or hobbies and make a date involving your interests to show you that he cares in a personal way,” add relationship experts Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher.

When someone falls in love with you, a telltale sign is that they’re genuinely interested in even the more boring stories you have to tell. They’re always listening and eager to ensure you’re listened to. They may even seem to get into what you’re saying, even if it’s boring.

love quote

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Signs of Love

Falling in love can be an exhilarating experience. However, being on the other side can often be confusing since we’re constantly second-guessing what someone else’s actions mean. However, you’ll probably see subtler signs rather than grand gestures when someone falls in love with you.

Science Explains The Cause of Nightmares (And How to Stop Them)

Nightmares affect people of all ages, even adults. They’re actually quite common in adults, with nearly 70% of adults having nightmares.

“Nightmares are a cry for resolution for finding a way to incorporate the terrible experience into our lives. Occasional nightmares are normal. But not nightly, and not over and over again,” says Rosalind Cartwright director of the sleep disorder service at Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke’s Medical Center in Chicago.

So, what causes adult nightmares, and how do we deal with them? Sleep doctors have already answered these questions for us, and given us some ideas on how to help the sufferers.

What Causes Nightmares?

“A nightmare is a dysfunctional dream.” – Rosalind Cartwright

1. Medications

A lot of people have them start suddenly after they start a new medication. They’re a common side effect for many medications.

“A number of medications also are known to contribute to nightmare frequency. Drugs that act on chemicals in the brain, such as antidepressants and narcotics, are often associated with nightmares. Non-psychological medications, including some blood pressure medications, can also cause nightmares in adults,” adds WebMD.

If you’re struggling with them and sleeplessness from your medication, you may want to talk with your doctor about switching medications if you can. If you’re not able to change your medication to help with nightmares, there are other ways to stop your nightmares.

2. Traumatic events

People who suffer from trauma may often find that they also suffer from nightmares. Traumatic events can vary, from the death of a family member to experiencing abuse of some kind. Even just getting into a traumatic accident can cause them. Therapy can be a great help in working through a traumatic event and stopping nightmares.

3. Food

If you’re generally a fan of spicy food, you may find that you get bad dreams after eating it. Scientists aren’t entirely sure why the correlation with food and nightmares happens, but it happens often enough that many people are aware that spicy dinner the night before is bound to cause bad dreams.

“A related possibility is that food influences dreams indirectly due to poor metabolism or digestive intolerances. For instance, eating too late at night could negatively affect metabolism and sleep quality, thence seeping into your dreams. And, of course, dairy,?most often cited as altering dreams, is a very common dietary sensitivity,” says researcher Michelle Carr, Ph.D.

Switching out what you eat right before bedtime is a great way to make sure you’re having better dreams and less nightmares.

4. Stress

Stress is another common factor of nightmares. If you’re suffering from different kinds of stress, either life events or internal stress, you’re more likely to suffer through bad dreams as well. Your emotions often tend to work themselves out in your subconscious, and nightmares are far more likely if you’re under daily stress. Understanding when you’re under more stress than usual can be the easiest way to figure out where your bad ddreams are coming from.

Here Are 4 Ways To Stop Nightmares

sleep paralysis

RELATED: Have You Ever Woke Up In The Middle of The Night Unable To Move? This May Be Why…

Many people struggle nightly, with some people getting woken up by their bad dreams. But you don’t have to suffer through them each night. It may seem like an impossible feat to stop having bad dreams without some medical intervention, but it can be done. All you have to do is dedicate yourself to stopping those stressful dreams. If you’re struggling, here are some tried and true methods for getting them to stop.

1. Realize it’s just  a bad dream

When you’re asleep, it might be hard to recognize when you’re having a nightmare. However, this isn’t impossible. You have to dedicate yourself to realizing you’re having a nightmare before you actually fall asleep. It may take a few attempts, but you’ll eventually be able to recognize when you’re having a nightmare.

2. Stop your dream

Again, this is going to take several failed nights of practice before you get the hang of it. People are actually capable of stopping their dreams right in their tracks. Once you recognize that you’re actually dreaming, you become able to control the way your dream plays out. This includes stopping the nightmare.

3. Change your dream

A nightmare can’t continue if you’re no longer having it. Once you’re capable of recognizing when you’re having a bad dream and stopping the dream, you’ll be able to entirely change the ending of your dream. Conjure up images that are calming or happy, so you’re able to continue on having your dream without all of those stressful visions.

4. Keep a dream diary

Keeping a journal beside your bed to write down your dreams will give you a better understanding of when you have bad dreams, and what surrounds your life when these happen. You’ll be able to develop a pattern of what’s happening in your life that causes these nightmares. You may find that stress is the major factor, or a new medication is what’s causing your nightmares.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
https://www.rd.com/health/wellness/why-you-have-nightmares/
https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/nightmares-in-adults#1
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dream-factory/201501/do-certain-foods-really-cause-bad-dreams

5 Text Messages to Never Send Your Partner

“Most of us still haven’t grasped the fact that everything we commit to the digital space – not just our public blogs and broadcast tweets, but every private text message, email, and voicemail is likely to be stored and accessible. Forever.” – Douglas Rushkoff

Texting is how so many of us communicate nowadays that it seems just as normal as talking on the phone. It’s quick, it’s easy, and you don’t have to stop what you’re doing to answer a phone call. For a lot of people, communicating with their significant other through text is pretty commonplace. When we’re not together, we tend to text back and forth throughout the day. This goes double for people who are in long distance relationships. However, texting isn’t the same as talking on the phone, or talking back and forth.

Online dating expert Julia Spira says, “I’ve seen someone pen paragraphs of a ‘Dear John’ letter via text. If you were close enough to be naked with someone and talk about the future at some point, have the courtesy to call or meet in person. Sometimes there’s just a misunderstanding that could prevent a breakup.”

Therefore, make sure you don’t test these things to your significant other.

Here Are 5 Things You Should Never Do To Your Partner Via Text Message

goodnight texts

1. Sending emotionally loaded texts

You can’t accurately read emotions over texts. We have managed to figure out some ways to express emotions, but for the most part, tone gets lost through text messages. So, when you send your partner an emotionally loaded text, your partner may not get the full implication of the message. This can cause a lot of frustration and hurt feelings. This also leaves the message open to incredible misinterpretation.

“Some studies suggest that up to 93% of communication is non-verbal. So if you are sending an emotional message with a limit of 140-160 characters, this increases the chances of misunderstandings,” adds relationship counsellor and Gestalt therapist Clinton Power.

If you’re sending a text with strong emotions, ask yourself why. If it’s something that can better be communicated through a phone call or face-to-face where your emotions can be better expressed, then it might just be better to forgo a text message.

2. Reading between the lines

As dangerous as sending an emotionally loaded text can be, projecting emotion onto a text can be equally frustrating for both you and your partner. When your partner sends a text message, it’s important to just read the words that are there and try not to interpret things that aren’t there. If you’re not sure what a text message is supposed to mean, it’s better to just ask to clarify. You can do this either through text message or by giving them a call so you can hear the emotion in their voice. Projecting emotion into a text that isn’t there can cause a lot of frustration and hurt feelings that don’t need to be.

3. Venting via text

If you have a lot of pent up emotions, like anger or frustration, you might be tempted to vent to your partner via text. Especially if you’re upset with them, venting or dumping your emotions through texts can be pretty tempting. But this is another thing you want to avoid when texting your partner. Text messages aren’t secure and anyone can read them if the person happens to allow others to see it.

Nikki Martinez, PsyD says, “Never have an important, in-depth conversation via text because of tone—we are too easily misunderstood, and take the very large chance of making the problem worse than it was in the first place.”

Not all relationships last forever, and your partner may have ill intentions with your venting texts. Make sure you’re careful about what you say via text message. It’s better to just vent to your partner face-to-face, or wait for yourself to calm down.

“Not only are you stirring up old dirt, you’re doing it in a passive aggressive way that prevents someone from responding in any meaningful sort of way. Things get misunderstood over text all the time since there is no tone of voice or body language to gauge, making a text the worst possible way to bring up an old issue,” lifestyle coach Jaya Jaya Myra

4. Ending a relationship

When it’s time for a relationship to end, it can be both sad and freeing. Depending on if the end of the relationship is amicable, both you and your partner can have a lot of feelings that need to be processed. Ending a relationship with a text message can be cold, callous, and make your partner feel like you don’t really respect them or care about their feelings. Imagine how you would feel on the other end, and realize that your partner deserves to have a face-to-face conversation about the end of your relationship.

texting in relationship

5. Sexting

Who doesn’t like a little sexy texting? A lot of people feel like it’s a lot of fun and a way to spice up a relationship. Unfortunately, it might be something you want to reconsider doing. Sending a flirty message is okay, but when you send a photo of yourself, either scantily clad or completely naked, you’re giving your partner a lot of power over you. Sure, we all want to trust our partners with the pictures we send them, but you might not be with them forever. If you end up breaking up, your pictures will still be on their phones.

“The issue here is if you choose to send a sexually explicit message to someone, even your partner, once that message has been sent it is out of your control. You have no say in where it goes, who sees it and where it is posted,” adds Power.

Keep those sexy pictures to yourself and let your partner enjoy the real thing.

Final thoughts

Texting can be a great way for couples to communicate throughout the day, or when they’re spending time apart. But texting isn’t always the best way to communicate some things. Keep these things in mind when texting with your partner and make sure you don’t make these common mistakes.

References:
https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/things-never-do-text-message/
https://clintonpower.com.au/2010/02/avoid-relationship-breakdown-social-media/
https://www.bustle.com/p/13-things-you-should-never-say-over-text-message-7571635
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