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How to Be Kind to Someone When You Don’t Agree

December 22, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Do you know what Albert Einstein once said? He said, “I think the most important question facing humanity is, Is the universe a friendly place?” This is something to think about–because not everyone knows how to be kind when they don’t agree. On all of our many walks through life, we may find that we meet so many people with unique thoughts, ideas, opinions, and life experiences. Combined, all these things often determine how a person feels on a certain subject.

Because we also come from our own life experiences, opinions, thoughts, and ideas, we may find that we don’t agree with everyone we meet. Which is fine, we don’t have to! Unfortunately, we may find that we fundamentally disagree on some things with the people in our life that we can’t just walk away from – friends, family, lovers. It’s good to practice being kind to someone that you, ultimately, don’t agree with, whether their opinions be political or social.

“When we treat someone with kindness, she’s more likely to show kindness to the next person she encounters; the same goes for insensitivity,” says Civility expert Lew Bayer.

Here Are 5 Ways To Be Kind To Someone Even In Disagreements

“Be kind, don’t judge, and have respect for others. The world would be a better place if we can all do this. The point is to teach this to the next generation.” – Jasmine Guinness

1. Listen with an open mind

One of the things that cause us to stop being kind to someone we disagree with is the fact that we sometimes close ourselves off from listening to them. We may already decide what they think and feel, making it easier for us to close ourselves off to what they’re actually saying. A great way to keep the kindness is to learn how to listen to them with an open mind.

“Open-mindedness is equated with positivity and growth. It helps us to take risks, find opportunities, understand others, and manage uncertainty. We also see open-minded people as more generous and kind,” says Kristi Hedges, a leadership coach, speaker and author.

Listen to what they’re saying so you can disagree with what they think and feel, not what you’ve convinced yourself that they think and feel! Who knows, you may find that you were misinterpreting them all along.

2. Think before you speak

Would you feel very good about yourself if you disagreed with someone and they spoke to you with vitriol? Would you want to listen to whatever else they had to say next? Chances are, you’re shaking your head ‘No’. Instead of allowing yourself to say something cruel, imagine how you would like to be treated in a conversation where you and the person you were speaking with disagreed. Talk to them as you would want to be spoken to. It’ll help you stay calm and kind.

Relationship expert Amy Sherman says, “Remember, words have a way of connecting people or dividing them. Your choice of words can prevent a heart from breaking, a friendship from ending, or a feud from brewing. Let your words be a source of comfort, support, encouragement, peace, and love. You’ll be a better person because of it.”

Think before you speak and you may find that you can come to an agreement on your differing opinions.

3. Find common ground

Instead of starting every conversation with the things you fundamentally disagree with, find some common ground that you can agree on. This will help you see the things that are the same about you, rather than continuing to focus on the things that are different. Finding common ground means that you’ll both be able to listen to the validity of each other’s opinions without automatically tossing them out. After all, if you agree on one thing, you may find that you can agree on other things.

4. Remember the positive feelings you have towards each other

If you fundamentally disagree with someone close to you, like a family member or a close friend, it can be easy to let the negative feelings overwhelm you. Instead of letting yourself focus on how you feel negatively towards them because of the differing opinion, focus on the positive emotions that you feel towards them.

“…in a circular way, when another person gets the feeling that you don’t really see much that’s good in him or her, that person is less likely to take the time to see much that’s good in you. Seeing the good in others is thus a simple but very powerful way to feel happier and more confident, and become more loving and more productive in the world,” says psychologist Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

Therefore, you can feel love and affection towards someone while disagreeing with them. You just have to take time out to focus on those good, positive feelings instead of letting yourself drown in negative ones.

5. Learn when to walk away

Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is to learn when the debate is getting too much, and it’s time to table the discussion. This doesn’t mean storming out of the room or ignoring the other person. Rather, you need to learn when you’ve reached your limit and can no longer engage in the conversation in good faith. And that’s okay! We all have our limits! Once you learn to recognize when enough is enough, you can table the debate or discussion for another time when you’re both feeling more calm and rational to continue it. Learning when to walk away can ensure that you don’t damage any relationships you may have with people you disagree with.

Final thoughts on responding in a kind way when people disagree

It doesn’t feel good to disagree with someone you care about. Unfortunately, we can’t all have the same opinions as our friends, family, or even our significant others. What we can do is respect their opinions, and respect them as human beings. Part of that respect comes with learning how to be kind, even when you’re in the middle of a disagreement. This makes going through life a lot easier for everyone involved.

References:
http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/how-to-be-more-kind
https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2015/12/17/how-to-keep-an-open-mind/#446fdb60418e
https://www.popexpert.com/content/relationships/the-benefits-of-thinking-before-you-speak/the-benefits-of-thinking-before-you-speak
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-wise-brain/201205/see-the-good-in-others

5 Early Warning Signs of Heart Trouble to Never Ignore

December 22, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Heart problems can be hereditary, so you know what to expect by looking at your family history. But they can also be a result of a certain lifestyle – even people who don’t look unhealthy can be at risk for heart disease or heart problems throughout their lives. Our bodies will generally try to tell us when something isn’t right. That’s why there are warning signs for when something isn’t going right with our hearts, and that heart disease or heart problems are on the horizon. Here are some of the warning signs that you never want to ignore when it comes to cardiac problems.

“You can’t afford to get sick, and you can’t depend on the present health care system to keep you well. It’s up to you to protect and maintain your body’s innate capacity for health and healing by making the right choices in how you live.” – Andrew Weil

Here Are 5 Warning Signs Of Heart Trouble Never To Ignore

1. Easily fatigued doing physical activities

If your are fairly sedentary, then you might get fatigued quickly. But if you’re an active person who can easily go on jobs, but finds that you’re suddenly unable to finish them due to fatigue, you might want to get checked out. This usually means that your organ isn’t pumping your blood fast enough to get oxygen to all of the parts of your body that need it during a job, or any other physical activity.

According to the American Heart Association,

“The heart can’t pump enough blood to meet the needs of body tissues. The body diverts blood away from less vital organs, particularly muscles in the limbs, and sends it to the heart and brain.”

Even if you get winded climbing a set of stairs, it’s probably a sign that something isn’t right with your heart.

2. Problems in the bedroom

Especially when it comes to men, erectile dysfunction might be a warning sign – especially for men who are younger, or older men who all of a sudden have problems with maintaining their erections in the bedroom. Unfortunately, this is a classic warning sign when it comes to cardiac illness, or being at risk of heart disease. That’s because your body needs the heart to pump blood down to fuel an erection. When the heart isn’t able to do its job correctly, it manifests in men being unable to get or maintain erections.

3. High blood pressure

This one is pretty well-known, and a lot of people who have high blood pressure already know that they’re at risk for some kind of cardiac trouble. When you get diagnosed with high blood pressure, it’s an immediate warning sign to high-risk issues like heart attacks, strokes, and even heart disease.

According to Blood Pressure UK, “If you have high blood pressure, this means that your heart has to work harder to push blood around your body. To cope with this extra effort, your heart becomes thicker and stiffer, which makes it less able to do its job.”

High blood pressure isn’t always noticeable without doctor intervention until it becomes extremely high, which can make it even more dangerous. It’s important to keep blood pressure levels in the healthy range to avoid heart issues.

4. Sudden, persistent cough

Coughing can be a sign of a cold, but if it doesn’t go away within a week, then it might be something a little more serious. If you get sudden and persistent coughs, then you might want to check in with your doctor. Congestive heart failure can cause fluid to build up in the lungs, which means that our bodies are coughing as a way to try and get it out.

Persistent coughing can be a sign that not all is right in the lungs and in the heart. Thus, it’s a huge warning sign for you to call your doctor, asap. The coughing can often mimic asthma or even lung disease, which can make it dangerous as it masks the real problem in the heart.

5. Swollen feet and legs

For some people, swelling in the legs and feet can be common. But it’s important to be aware of what exactly is causing the swelling. If there’s no recent injury to the limb, unaccounted for swelling can be a warning sign of cardiac conditions.

According to Heart Failure Matters,

“Swelling in the legs and ankles is caused by fluid accumulation in the body, which can be a sign of worsening heart failure. The fluid build-up is due to reduced blood flow out of the heart, causing blood returning to the heart through the veins to back up. This leads to fluid accumulation in the abdomen and lower limbs and congestion.”

Therefore, when our hearts can’t pump our blood the way they’re supposed to, fluid can get backed up in the veins, which makes our feet and legs start to swell up. When this happens, you may notice that you have trouble fitting your feet into your shoes, or your socks are squeezing too tightly.

Final thoughts

Cardiac conditions are dangerous if you don’t take care of them. And, since it’s such an internal issue, a lot of people don’t notice the problem until it’s far too late, or until the problem is far-progressed. Know the early warning signs of heart disease or heart attack. Indeed, it can be the difference between turning it around or having major complications.

Doctors Explain 6 Signs of Hashimoto’s Disease

December 22, 2017 by Power of Positivity

What is ‘Hashimoto’s Disease’?

Hashimoto’s thyroiditis is named after the Japanese medical scientist, Hakaru Hashimoto, who discovered the condition in 1912. Hashimoto’s discovery took another 45 years to be labeled an autoimmune disorder. Sadly, the brilliant scientist had already passed.

The word “thyroiditis” refers to “inflammation of the thyroid gland,” for which numerous possible causes exist.

Hashimoto’s is the most common form of hypothyroidism in the United States. Estimates reveal that Hashimoto’s affects about 5 percent of the population at some point in life. Demographically, women between the ages of 30 to 50 make up the majority of patients.

Hashimoto’s disease is the most common cause of hypothyroidism in the United States. It primarily affects middle-aged women but can also occur in men, women of any age, and children. ~ Mayo Clinic

Women are seven times more likely to develop the disorder than men (really?!)

Hypothyroidism, also termed an underactive thyroid or low thyroid, is a disorder in which the thyroid gland doesn’t produce enough thyroid hormone. (As opposed to hyperthyroidism, wherein the thyroid produces the hormone in excess.)

What are the causes of Hashimoto’s?

Like other thyroid disorders, doctor’s aren’t quite sure what causes the immune system to attack the thyroid gland. Some scientists think that exposure to a bacterium or virus may activate a response, while other scientists attribute the cause to genetic factors.

In genetically susceptible individuals, environmental factors including selenium deficiency, high iodine intake, infection, and certain drugs may increase the risk of developing Hashimoto’s.

Individuals already diagnosed with an autoimmune condition also have a higher risk of developing Hashimoto’s. Autoimmune diseases most commonly associated with the disorder include alopecia (hair loss), celiac disease, type 1 diabetes, and vitiligo (a skin pigmentation condition.)

As mentioned, middle-aged women are much more likely to develop the condition, which may also be considered a risk factor.

Treatment of Hashimoto’s generally involves levothyroxine (l-thyroxine) injections. L-thyroxine is a synthetic thyroid hormone that also treats other thyroid conditions, including tumors.

Diagnosis of Hashimoto’s is confirmed via blood tests for specific antithyroid antibodies.

Signs of Hashimoto’s

Because Hashimoto’s symptoms can mirror those other conditions, doctors frequently misdiagnose it as chronic fatigue syndrome, depression, PMS, or fibromyalgia.

However, doctors point out that six symptoms may help differentiate Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis from other conditions:

1. Goiter

Goiter is swelling within the neck due to an enlarged thyroid. A Class I goiter can be challenging to detect, however, as it usually cannot be felt or seen. Patients diagnosed with Class I goiter often discover it by feeling around their neck area.

2. Sensitivity to cold

Thyroid hormones help regulate your metabolism – the chemical reactions that maintain the body. If the thyroid gland doesn’t produce enough of it, your cold/warm ‘toggle’ can get thrown out of whack. We actually owe much of our body’s ability to regulate body temperature to the thyroid gland!

3. Constipation

Constipation is a classic sign of Hashimoto’s. When the body doesn’t produce enough thyroid hormones, the muscles that line the digestive tract often slow down. However, it is possible that the urge to, ahem, ‘go ‘number two’ isn’t affected as much.

4. Puffy face or neck

Low thyroid activity can manifest into lower body temperatures, as mentioned. When the body’s ‘furnace’ draws down, we’re more prone to fluid retention or bloating. Often, this bloating can show up around the face (and neck) areas.

5. Brittle nails or dry skin

Yes, brittle nails – a seemingly unrelated symptom – may point to an underactive thyroid. Beta-carotene, the mineral precursor (building block) of vitamin A is necessary for healthy skin, including the nails. Thyroid hormones are required to convert beta-carotene to vitamin A; so when these hormones aren’t available, our skin and nails are affected.

6. A ‘beefy’ or ‘scalloped’ tongue

The tongue reveals more about our health than we give it credit. Regarding thyroid problems, the tongue often harbors thyroid-harming toxins, which may produce a scalloped or inflamed tongue. If your tongue looks red and ‘beefy’ (with sizable cracks on the surface), it may be indicative of a vitamin-B deficiency. Vitamin B-12, in particular, is essential to proper thyroid function.

But if your tongue looks healthy, then your thyroid is probably healthy too!

Keeping Your Thyroid Healthy

With that said, here are some foods (derived from required nutrients) to include in your diet to help maintain or improve thyroid health:

Iodine is the most crucial nutrient for thyroid health. Experts recommend that adults get at least 150 milligrams (mg) of iodine daily.

Some good food sources of iodine include:
– Cheese
– Eggs
– Kelp
– Shellfish (clams, shrimp, and oysters)
– Saltwater fish (cod, haddock, and perch)

A study published in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism links selenium deficiency with increased risk of thyroid disorders. Adults require 55 mg of selenium daily. Good sources of selenium include brazil nuts, chia seed and seeds (Sunflower, Sesame, and Flax).

Iron is a mineral which many adults are deficient in that is vital to thyroid health. Good sources of iron include:

– Beans
– Dried fruit
– Spinach
– Clean, Organic Poultry
– Whole grains

Here are some other thyroid-friendly foods:

– Bell peppers
– Berries (especially blueberries)
– Mustard greens
– Oranges
– Peanuts
– Pine nuts
– Squash
– Turnips

To your continued thyroid health!

Sources:
http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/foods-speed-up-thyroid-4980.html
https://bodyecology.com/articles/is-your-thyroid-healthy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goitre
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hakaru_Hashimoto
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashimoto%27s_thyroiditis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitiligo
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hashimotos-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20351855
https://www.nahypothyroidism.org/thyroid-tongue-troubles/

10 Things That Make Families Happier

December 21, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Ask a hundred people what the most important thing in their life is, and the odds are good that most people – if not all – will say their family. (There are narcissists out there, folks!)

But as with so many other important things, the busyness and stress of life can cause us to lose track of our priorities – even when it involves our loved ones.

This article focuses on ten things that produce happy families based on research.

Let’s get to it!

Here are the ten things:

Our Family is a circle of strength and love … Our Family, with every birth and every union, the circle grows … Our family is a circle of strength, every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger.~ Unknown

1) Make the effort

We instinctively grasp the importance of making incremental progress in many areas of our life. We set goals and make an effort–and do what we need to do.

Some of us, however, don’t emphasize enough the importance of working towards a happier family.

If we work together as a family, we can develop and improve the happiness and cohesion of the household. But, as with all things worthwhile, it requires effort and dedication.

2) Create a mission statement

Set aside some time and talk about what it truly means to be a family. What are your values?

Successful philanthropic organizations have detailed well-crafted mission statements. Same goes for successful companies and other entities. Mission statements serve as the foundation for every decision. Loving families can do the same.

So start the conversation. Identify what your central values are as a family. Identify the type of family you want to be.

3) Give the kids some authority

Scientists at the University of California discovered that parents who empowered their children to plan their own time, set weekly goals, and evaluate their progress develop the areas of the brain responsible for executive skills.

Executive skills help children avoid distractions, exert self-discipline, and evaluate the consequences of their choices.

4) Share your family history

Researchers at Emory University discovered that the more knowledge a child possessed about their family history, the higher their degree of self-confidence.

Perhaps the most surprising finding is that knowledge of family history is the number one predictor of a child’s emotional well-being.

Teach your kids to remember where they came from – it’s a valuable lesson.

5) Practice effective mediation

Bruce Ury is the co-author of the classic book Getting to Yes, the best-selling book on negotiation in the world.

Ury found that implementing a three-step process can help parents and their children successfully and affectionately resolve disputes.

– Separate everybody, including yourself.

– Placing them in a visible area (e.g., the family table); involve the children by asking them to come up with three alternatives to the conflict.

– Bring everyone back into a room and discuss the situation. Ask your kids which one of the three solutions they like best.

“Don’t be a dictator unless you have to be,” Ury adds.

6) Be part of a community

Research has shown that having a community of ten supportive friends make families happier.

Professors Chaeyoon Lin and Robert Putnam found that families who are involved in a religious community, in particular, score higher on overall measures of happiness and well-being.

Lin and Putnam note that religious preference didn’t matter in their 3,000 person study. What did matter is the number of friends in the religious community – and they found that 10 is the sweet spot.

7) Limit Stress

Ellen Galinsky, President and Co-Founder of the Families and Work Institute (FWI), distributed a survey to over a thousand families.

In the survey, children were asked a simple question:

“If you were granted one wish about your parents, what would it be?”

The most common response was that the parents were less tired and less stressed.

Here’s the thing: our emotions needn’t dictate our behaviors. Let’s show our children more positivity and less stress!

8) Eat dinner together

A 16-year study conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan found that the number of time children spent eating meals at home was the top predictor of improved academic achievement and fewer behavior-related problems.

The study discovered that eating together as a family was more important than:

– time spent in school

– time spent studying

– playing sports

– attending religious services

9) Get the grandparents involved

If you’re fortunate enough to have your parents still around, you should know (if you don’t already!) that grandparents are some of the best teachers.

Among other things, grandparents teach kids social skills, compassion, and how to be considerate.

An interview-based study of over 400 adolescents at Brigham Young University found that a positive correlation between the amount of time a child spends with their grandparents – and social ability, school involvement, and acts of kindness.

10) Hold family meetings

Donning your parent/CEO cap, sit the family down for a meeting once a week.

Bruce Ury shares what his family does:

“We basically ask three questions. What worked well this week, what didn’t work well this week, and what will we agree to work on in the week ahead?

And if the kids meet the goal, they get to help pick a reward. And if they don’t, they get to help pick a punishment. They don’t do it without us, but we all do it in consultation.”

Sources:
http://theweek.com/articles/444395/6-things-happiest-families-all-have-common
http://time.com/21296/how-to-have-a-happy-family-7-tips-backed-by-research/
http://www.williamury.com/how-to-conduct-difficult-negotiations-the-six-steps/

Sociologists Explain 8 Ways To Help A Shy Person Come Out Of Their Shell

December 21, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Being shy isn’t always a bad thing. Different people are comfortable with different levels of social activity, and being shy is natural. However, some people tend to miss out on great opportunities, moments and experiences, just because they’re too shy to put themselves out there.

But why?

Professor of psychology Barry Schlenker says, “Many shy, socially anxious people report the fear of being unable to make a desired impression on others.”

Do shy people want to interact?

According to director of the Outpatient Psychotherapy Treatment Program at Emory Healthcare and author Jennice Vilhauer, Ph.D., “Shy people want to be close to others but fear being rejected or criticized, so they avoid even social events they want to attend. They often end up feeling lonely and isolated, which increases their risk for developing other problems like depression or anxiety.”

If you know someone like this in your life, you may be thinking of ways to help them come out of their shell and feel more confident. Check out these methods by sociologists that explain how to best help a shy person out of their shell.

“There was a combination of shyness and just fear of looking stupid that kept me out of a lot of interesting creative conversations that I could have had at an early age.” – Ron Howard

Here Are 8 Ways To Help A Shy Person Come Out Of Their Shell

1. Have other people start with an introduction

Introducing shy people to new and outgoing people can be difficult. Instead of trying to change a shy person’s behavior, ask the more outgoing person to change the way they approach the shy person. Have them start with a simple introduction, followed by a question that your shy friend can easily answer.

For example, “Hello, my name is ___. Who are you?” They’re introduced to the new person, and then given a question they can easily answer – their name!

John Stoker, president of DialogueWORKS and author of “Overcoming Fake Talk” says that, “Asking questions is the easiest way to deepen or create a relationship with someone.”

2. Affirmations for a shy person to say

People who are shy can often become self-conscious after meeting new people. When you introduce them to someone new, make sure that the person that you introduce them with affirms their meeting. For example, have them tell your shy friend how happy they are to have met them.

“It was so nice meeting you”, or “It was a pleasure getting to talk to you!” are great ways to give affirmations to a shy person. This can work with introducing shy people to more outgoing people, or introducing yourself to shy person as well.

“If you make the first move by introducing yourself and taking an interest in the person, you will help to set them at ease, which will help you to establish a relationship with the person that could pay huge returns,” adds Stoker.

3. Use their name

People, as a general rule with a few exceptions, enjoying hearing their own name. Not only that, but repeating the use of a shy person’s name can help with affirmations. It lets the shy person know that you, or someone else, really heard and listened to them introducing themselves, and that you care about them enough to remember and use their name.

According to WikiHow, “People love to hear others say their own name because it brings a personal touch to an otherwise general situation or conversation. Not only will saying his name strengthen the bond between you and the shy guy, but it will also quicken the bonding process.”

If you’re in a group conversation, shy people can tend to retreat into their shells. Thus, using a shy person’s name can help continue to include them in the group when you want them to contribute to the conversation.

4. Explore their interests

What are they interested in? People love to talk about the things that they love – even shy people! This can be one of the best ways to get a shy person talking. As them about the things that they’re passionate about, and then ask follow-up questions. If you’re going to ask what books they like to read, also ask them what their favorite book is, then ask them what it’s about, and why they like it. This is one of the best ways to get a shy person to open up to you or other people.

5. Offer to help them

If a shy person needs help, they may not feel comfortable reaching out to other people and asking for assistance. The thought can be very anxiety-inducing, which means that they may put off asking for help as long as possible. To make sure this doesn’t happen, always offer your assistance whenever you can. Instead of making them reach out to you, make sure that they know that you’re there to help them.

According to WikiHow, “Bringing a guy out of his shell is not an overnight process, but takes time. It’s not always as simple as being super kind or asking the right questions. You may need to help him build additional social skills, depending on his personal situation and experiences.”

6. Build their self-esteem

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You wouldn’t worry so much what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

Sometimes, shyness can be due to someone’s low self-image. While you can’t be the one to completely turn someone’s self-esteem around, you can definitely help them feel more confident. Compliment them on their clothes, or their new haircut.

Make sure you notice when something about them changes so that you can give them a compliment on it. Shy people don’t make big changes very often because they’re self-conscious about it – so when they dye their hair or wear new clothes, make sure to point it out and tell them how much you like it.

7. Start conversations with someone shy

It’s no surprise that shy people often don’t want to be the first to start a conversation. They may feel like people don’t really want to talk to them, or they may just be too shy to make the first move. There’s no harm in starting the conversation with someone that you know is shy. It can take a while, but it’ll build up a rapport and having them starting to reach out to you, first. Shy people just need to know that their company and conversation are wanted, so make sure to reach out to them every once in a while.

8. Be yourself!

Funnily enough, this is a great way to get shy people to come out of their shells, especially if you’re a more outgoing person. Just being who you are can be an inspiration for shy people. When they see you having fun and having conversations without the world crumbling around you, they’ll start to realize that they, too, can have the same type of experiences when it comes to being more outgoing.

Final Thoughts on Helping a Shy Person Break Out of Their Shell

While you may feel like just forcing them to be more social is the right way to go, that can actually cause a shy person to become overwhelmed and overstimulated, which will only cause them to retreat further. Here are some tried and true methods to help a shy person come out of their shell and live life to the fullest.

6 Things To Remember If Your Partner Was Abused As A Child

December 21, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Was your partner abused as a child? If so, they probably have scars they still carry today. And good for you for diving in to learn more about how you can help them heal.

“Individuals who reported six or more adverse childhood experiences had an average life expectancy two decades shorter than those who reported none. Ischemic heart disease (IHD), Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), liver disease and other health-related quality of life issues are tied to child abuse.” – Childhelp.org

The statistics

According to childhelp.org:

“Every year more than 3.6 million referrals are made to child protection agencies involving more than 6.6 million children (a referral can include multiple children).
The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations – losing on average between four and seven children every day to child abuse and neglect.
A report of child abuse occurs every 10 seconds.
As many as two-thirds of the people in treatment for drug abuse reported being abused or neglected as children.”

Here are a few more statistics about child abuse in America from americanspcc.org:

4 million child maltreatment referral reports received.
3.4 million children received prevention & post-response services.
207,000 children received foster care services.
75.3% of victims suffer from neglect.
17.2% of victims receive physical abuse.
8.4% of victims receive sexual abuse.
6.9% of victims are psychologically maltreated.
Highest rate of child abuse in children under one (24.2% per 1,000).
Over one-quarter (27.%) of victims are younger than 3 years.
Almost five children die every day from child abuse.
80% of child fatalities involve at least one parent.
74.8% of child fatalities are under the age of 3.
49.4% of children who die from child abuse are under one year.
Almost 60,000 children are sexually abused.
More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator.
Child abuse crosses all socioeconomic and educational levels, religions, ethnic and cultural groups.”

We now know that there are marked differences in the brains of those who have suffered child abuse and those who had a healthy upbringing. Referring to the quote at the beginning of the article, we also know that child abuse can cause physical damage to the body, which shows the lasting effects of being abused as a child.

What we experience as children largely dictates our personality and behaviors as adults, and people who have been abused as children lack love, support, and stability from their parents. As a result, they’re much more likely to develop psychological disorders and have a harder time developing and maintaining healthy relationships.

If you are in a relationship with someone who received this mistreatment as a child, there are a few things you need to remember.

Here are 6 things to keep in mind if your partner has suffered from child abuse:

1. Your partner might lash out at you.

It isn’t that your partner mistrusts you. But they struggle with flashbacks from their childhood and direct those intense emotions at you. They might get angry at you for no obvious reason. Or, they might burst into tears stemming from painful memories. Prepare your mind to help them through these memories. Nevert push them to talk about the abuse if they don’t feel ready. You might need to walk away and come back at a later time when they’ve had a chance to calm down.

2. You might need to seek out counseling.

Your partner may have never gotten treatment for the psychological harm they experienced as a child, which undoubtedly left its mark on him or her. If they seem to be having frequent flashbacks or trouble functioning in their daily life, you might want to suggest therapy. Talking through painful memories and learning coping skills is often the only way to move on from such traumatic experiences. You can even go with them to offer your support, and you might want to seek couple’s therapy if you feel it necessary.

3. They might have intimacy issues.

Experiencing abuse, especially as a child, will have lasting consequences regarding interpersonal relationships. People who suffer child abuse often have trust issues, which means that you’ll have to exercise extreme patience in your relationship. It might take them a lot longer than others to open up. If they suffered from sexual abuse, they might show little desire to have sex. Remember that how they feel has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with their childhood memories. If your relationship is suffering due to the psychological damage they’ve endured, keep in mind that a therapist can help you work through these issues together.

4. Your partner might suffer from a mental disorder.

Due to the trauma they experienced, your partner may suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD, or other mental illnesses. Anxiety and depression are the two most common mental illnesses worldwide. Of course, these increase significantly in adults who suffered child abuse.

5. They will likely have trouble communicating their emotions.

Children who suffer neglect or abuse often don’t learn the skills necessary to manage and work through their emotions. They also don’t learn how to interpret and respond to other people’s emotions. Those crossed wires can lead to poor emotional intelligence as an adult.

6. Your partner may be impulsive and aggressive.

Several studies found a link between child abuse and behavioral problems later in life. In a study published in Child Maltreatment, researchers chose 676 abused or neglected children and 520 non-abused children at random from birth and school records.

The 1,296 participants interviewed with researchers when they reached the average age of 29. The study found the following results:

Adults suffering from mistreatment were 38% more likely to have an arrest record for a violent crime.
Abused or neglected participants were 53% more likely to have been arrested as an adolescent.
Prolonged maltreatment or neglect (per child protective service records) is “related to delinquency, drug use, and other problem behaviors” throughout adulthood.

Also, abused children show higher impulsiveness as adults due to the constant fear of physical or mental abuse growing up. This constant fight-or-flight response changes the brain, making them more prone to anxiety and poor decision-making.

Final Thoughts

No one should have to suffer from child abuse. No one deserves that kind of pain and mental anguish, especially in the most vulnerable years of life. If you’re in a relationship with someone who has been abused, just remember that you are not alone. It’s not your job to fix what happened, and you don’t have to carry the burden all by yourself. Counseling is available to help both of you through it. This help means that you can have a healthy, happy relationship, and your partner can learn to heal their deep wounds.

Just remember to be patient with your significant other, and be there for them in whatever way you can. People who suffered this mistreatment do want a healthy, stable relationship. However, they just need the tools to both give and receive love.

References:
HTTPS://WWW.CDC.GOV/VIOLENCEPREVENTION/CHILDMALTREATMENT/DATASOURCES.HTML [PDF FILE]
HTTPS://WWW.NCBI.NLM.NIH.GOV/PMC/ARTICLES/PMC2771618/
https://americanspcc.org/child-abuse-statistics/

Child Abuse Statistics

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Here Are 5 Ways To Be Kind To Someone Even In Disagreements

1. Listen with an open mind

2. Think before you speak

3. Find common ground

4. Remember the positive feelings you have towards each other

5. Learn when to walk away

Final thoughts on responding in a kind way when people disagree

Here Are 5 Warning Signs Of Heart Trouble Never To Ignore

1. Easily fatigued doing physical activities

2. Problems in the bedroom

3. High blood pressure

4. Sudden, persistent cough

5. Swollen feet and legs

Final thoughts

What are the causes of Hashimoto’s?

Signs of Hashimoto’s

However, doctors point out that six symptoms may help differentiate Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis from other conditions:

1. Goiter

2. Sensitivity to cold

3. Constipation

4. Puffy face or neck

5. Brittle nails or dry skin

6. A ‘beefy’ or ‘scalloped’ tongue

Keeping Your Thyroid Healthy

Here are the ten things:

1) Make the effort

2) Create a mission statement

3) Give the kids some authority

4) Share your family history

5) Practice effective mediation

6) Be part of a community

7) Limit Stress

8) Eat dinner together

9) Get the grandparents involved

10) Hold family meetings

Sources: http://theweek.com/articles/444395/6-things-happiest-families-all-have-common http://time.com/21296/how-to-have-a-happy-family-7-tips-backed-by-research/ http://www.williamury.com/how-to-conduct-difficult-negotiations-the-six-steps/

Here Are 8 Ways To Help A Shy Person Come Out Of Their Shell

1. Have other people start with an introduction

2. Affirmations for a shy person to say

3. Use their name

4. Explore their interests

5. Offer to help them

6. Build their self-esteem

7. Start conversations with someone shy

8. Be yourself!

Final Thoughts on Helping a Shy Person Break Out of Their Shell

The statistics

Here are a few more statistics about child abuse in America from americanspcc.org:

Here are 6 things to keep in mind if your partner has suffered from child abuse:

1. Your partner might lash out at you.

2. You might need to seek out counseling.

3. They might have intimacy issues.

4. Your partner might suffer from a mental disorder.

5. They will likely have trouble communicating their emotions.

6. Your partner may be impulsive and aggressive.

Final Thoughts

References: HTTPS://WWW.CDC.GOV/VIOLENCEPREVENTION/CHILDMALTREATMENT/DATASOURCES.HTML [PDF FILE] HTTPS://WWW.NCBI.NLM.NIH.GOV/PMC/ARTICLES/PMC2771618/ https://americanspcc.org/child-abuse-statistics/ Child Abuse Statistics

The Community

Our Free Community of Positively Powerful SuperFans

Rise and Shine On! Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist

Stay Connected With

Us

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

Sources:
http://theweek.com/articles/444395/6-things-happiest-families-all-have-common
http://time.com/21296/how-to-have-a-happy-family-7-tips-backed-by-research/
http://www.williamury.com/how-to-conduct-difficult-negotiations-the-six-steps/

References:
HTTPS://WWW.CDC.GOV/VIOLENCEPREVENTION/CHILDMALTREATMENT/DATASOURCES.HTML [PDF FILE]
HTTPS://WWW.NCBI.NLM.NIH.GOV/PMC/ARTICLES/PMC2771618/
https://americanspcc.org/child-abuse-statistics/

Child Abuse Statistics

Rise and Shine On!
Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist