12 Reasons You Have a Toxic Relationship

February 12, 2023 by Chris Butler

There are lovely couples, and there are poisonous ones. When you’re involved in a toxic relationship, the actions and behaviors of one or both parties are damaging. Sadly, the injury can be physical or psychological, and sometimes things can escalate to life-threatening levels. What does it mean when there’s toxicity between you and your partner?

A toxic relationship means one person feels frightened or threatened by someone who is supposed to love and protect them. This person may walk on eggshells around them because they fear being physically abused or verbally bashed. The emotional reactions of the toxic person are all over the page, and it causes you to live in fear.

A healthy relationship allows for communication without judgment, and you never worry about being hurt because you can freely state your opinion.

Twelve Signs of a Toxic Relationship

If you’ve ever stopped and asked yourself if you’re in a toxic relationship, you already know the answer. People with healthy partners don’t question such matters. Why does your relationship have so much toxicity in it?

You should know that toxic connections are never the same, as there are different types of abuse and behaviors. Here are some signs that your relationship is not healthy, and it can have a dramatic impact on your mental health.

1. You See Possessive Jealousy in a Toxic Relationship

One of the most harmful behaviors to see in a relationship is being possessive and jealous. While jealousy is considered normal when you’re in love, the type of behavior displayed here is for dominance and control.

They’re not showing you love but trying to keep you from the outside world. They want you all to themselves where they can control and manipulate you without anyone else’s influence. When you step beyond their comfort zone, they will react to change the situation. They will use tactics, including but not limited to faking a sickness, so you stay home with them.

2. Nothing You Do Pleases Them

Do you ever feel like nothing you do is right? Everything you do upsets or annoys them, almost always leading to an altercation. Toxicity in a relationship can be from tiptoeing around your partner for fear of setting them off. They criticize everything you do and constantly put you down. It’s destroying your self-esteem, and you’re frustrated and unhappy.

3. Mind Games Occur in a Toxic Relationship

Communication is one of the signs of a healthy relationship, but when things are toxic, your partner expects you to read their mind. They may play games, so you must guess what they’re thinking.

When communication is lackluster in a relationship, it can cause all sorts of unnecessary stress. Someone who expects you to know what they’re thinking without them ever telling you is impossible to handle. They give you so little but want so much in return.

4. There’s Overwhelming Negativity

A toxic relationship has lots of nasty energy. Someone’s always angry, tense, or crying because of all the hatred between one another. It’s not uncommon for people in this situation to quickly go from love to hate.

Being with a negative person can drain the life right out of you. It puts you under mental, physical, and emotional stress that weighs you down. Living with a partner with a dark cloud following them around tends to overshadow you too.

5. There Are Theatrical Displays During a Confrontation

Toxicity often brings about theatrics. If you’ve seen a narcissistic personality in action, you know that some of their performances are Oscar-worthy. A toxic partner may scream, throw their hands about, and let the poisonous words flow like a river from them.

During an argument, the theatrics are often on display. If you ever confront them about something they did or said, they will turn on their performance skills to deflect. The louder and more profound their performance, the more you will back off from them. While this isn’t categorized as physical abuse, they use tactics to avoid reality.

Sadly, they don’t realize how much damage they’re doing to their body when they have these explosions. According to Harvard Medical School, someone that gets mad enough to make their blood boil is causing changes in their body that elevates their risk of a heart attack. The study shows that the risk remains elevated two hours after the explosive event.

6. You’re Miserable

Being in a toxic relationship takes a toll on you. A healthy relationship makes you happy, and you can’t stand being away from your partner. Sadly, when the toxicity is high in your connection, you feel depressed, anxious, and plain miserable. You don’t feel supported, and the joy you once shared is gone. If you’re constantly in misery, it’s a sign that something isn’t right.

7. Partners Keep Mental Scorecards in Toxic Relationships

When you get upset with your partner, do you bring back all the other things they’ve done in the past? Keeping a mental scorecard is a sign of toxicity, as these behaviors are used for manipulation. Some people will use past situations to deflect from the current problem.

For instance, if you disagree with your partner because they did something that hurt you, they might throw up the times you’ve hurt them to deflect. Keeping this mental scorecard is used to control future arguments and shows that there’s no true forgiveness.

8. Alienating Friends and Loved Ones

One of the most common behaviors of a manipulator is that they like to remove outside influences from you. They will get upset with you if you visit your family or friends. While they may have been okay with it initially, they’ve slowly tried to pull you away from your inner circle over time.

According to the National Library of Medicine, someone with a narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t have empathy for others. They don’t care that they’re hurting you because it’s fulfilling their agenda. Some studies mentioned in the article suggest that these people lack gray brain matter so that the abnormalities may cause their behaviors.

9. You Feel Alone in a Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships will contaminate you and happen so gradually that you might not see it occur. Once you’ve alienated your inner circle, you’re left alone and depressed. You spend time figuring out what’s wrong with you rather than putting the blame where it belongs.

When you feel like you’re losing yourself or don’t even know who you are anymore, it’s a sign that you’re in an unhealthy situation.

10. You Live in a Hostile Atmosphere

Your home should be a haven where you can relax and have peace from the outside world. However, the atmosphere is heavy and thick with poison when your home is toxic.

It should be noted that everyone goes through times when things are tough, such as a teen that’s gone rogue or financial burdens, but the stress from a toxic relationship is much different, as it never goes away. It seems like it’s never resolved once things escalate between you and your mate.

11. Mutual Avoidance and Annoyance

When there’s no communication between a couple, it can lead to issues like avoidance and annoyance between you. Perhaps you don’t know how to put things into words, but the toxic person would rather ignore the problem. When you don’t communicate with one another, it’s impossible to understand how the other person feels. Over time, you build up annoyance for them and their behaviors, slowly building resentment.

12. You Feel Inferior, Causing a Toxic Relationship

Someone with narcissistic personality disorder can make you feel inferior and mess up your self-esteem. The crux is that toxic folks have superiority issues and believe they’re better than everyone around them. While they genuinely don’t feel this way inside, it’s what they display on the outside.

This individual will completely disregard your feelings as they only see things as one-sided. At the same time, they portray that they’re confident and in control. The truth is that they have very vulnerable self-esteem from childhood or other traumas.

Their volatile reactions aren’t personal, but it’s the only way they can survive. Sadly, it makes for a very toxic relationship where you are collateral damage.

Final Thoughts on Toxic Relationships

Are toxic people beyond reproach? Can you save whatever good things are between you? Sadly, many narcissists don’t change because it requires admitting something wrong and working on those things. They would instead go through life blaming everyone else and using people to get what they want.

These master manipulators will take you down with them if you allow it. A strong person must notice the signs of a toxic relationship and take action. You have two choices, you can either get counseling to try to correct the situation, or you can leave. You owe it to yourself for peace of mind, so sometimes leaving the person behind is the best option.

7 Things Women Need from a Relationship Besides Sex

February 12, 2023 by Sarah Barkley

You might relate to not knowing what women want in a relationship. It might backfire when you think you’re doing the right thing because it’s not what a woman needs.

Sometimes it seems like you try everything to make them happy, but it doesn’t get you anywhere. You might feel like you can’t do anything right, but that’s not the case. Instead, you can’t seem to do what women want or need because it’s different than what men need.

Meeting a woman’s emotional needs can help her open up to you. Understanding what women need can make all the difference and improve your relationship. You’ll also learn to communicate better and reduce and overcome conflict easier.

NOTE: If you seek knowledge regarding what men need from their partners, we cover them in a separate article.

What Women Need from a Relationship

Women want you to know what they need from the relationship. They aren’t purposely keeping it secret, and you can understand them better by knowing these things.

1 – Someone She Can Count On

Women want to know they can count on you, especially when life gets hard. Having someone who runs or falls apart when things go awry can make her feel like her emotional needs are unmet. Meeting issues head-on shows her that she can count on you to protect and help her.

Having someone she can count on also describes a partner that does what they say they’ll do. Don’t wait or put it off when you’ve already dedicated yourself to getting it done sooner. When things don’t get done when you said they would, it causes a woman to lose trust.

2 – Respect and Appreciation

Feeling respected by their partner is a necessity for women, and they often feel like they must compete when they aren’t receiving respect. Doing things to make her feel like a valued equal within the relationship can make a difference. She also needs someone who makes her feel cherished.

Praising your partner shows you appreciate what she does and brings to your relationship. It assures her that you value her, so don’t be afraid of telling her often.

Showing respect shows her what a good partner she has and increases her happiness levels. It indicates a good person who embraces their relationships with those they love.

Some ways to show appreciation and respect include the following:

involving her in decisions
asking for her input
opening doors for her
pulling out her chair
doing things when promised
sharing household responsibilities
doing nice things without being asked
gifting things that make you think of her
expressing gratitude for what she does
praising her privately and socially

3 – To Feel Loved and Cherished

Women need to feel loved and cherished before they can relax and open up in a relationship. She wants to know that you prioritize her over your career, other people, or hobbies. Women want to know they have their partner’s support and presence and that they listen to what’s important to them.

Prioritizing a woman doesn’t mean you can never spend time with other people or do things alone. However, it means that when she needs you, you’ll be there no matter what. When a woman feels loved and cherished, she’ll trust you more to go out and have fun without her.

Making a woman feel loved doesn’t require major gestures. It only requires small things that show she is on your mind. Some things you can do include the following:

send sweet text messages during the day
rub her back
surprise her with her favorite latte or treat
plan fun activities, even when you’re staying home

When she feels loved, the relationship improves and involves fewer arguments, increased physical affection, and positive energy. On the other hand, if she doesn’t feel cherished, it can trigger more tension and a lack of trust. For those looking to add some excitement and intimacy, exploring options that are fun for couples, like the products at Cheeky BDSM can help strengthen that bond.

4 – Feeling Safe and Secure

Women want to feel safe enough to be themselves, embrace their sexuality, and trust their partners. They want to know their relationship is a safe space where she can be vulnerable. She also wants to recognize that you value who she is and can handle her vulnerability.

It involves listening to her, hearing her concerns or ideas, and experiencing growth together. Don’t judge her, or she’ll feel like you can’t handle who she is. When she feels safe, it’ll strengthen your relationship and can remedy emotional damage.

Some of the ways you can make her feel safe often include the following:

holding her hand in public
stay near her during social functions
give her long hugs
tell her you’ll always be there for her
let her relax around you
show her that you can handle emotions
build trust and show that you trust her
be accepting and non-judgmental
don’t lie to her or misrepresent yourself
take charge of situations when she becomes overwhelmed

5 – Healthy Communication

Women need healthy communication with their partners to feel relationship satisfaction. Communication is essential to building a strong relationship, giving you a deeper emotional connection. Additionally, since women often overthink, they need your openness to prevent them from stressing about what’s on their minds.

Discuss important aspects of your relationship and life. Discussing finances, job opportunities or losses, decisions about your home, or things that affect your family are essential to maintaining a strong relationship.

A good conversation can lead to more enjoyable moments. Even with differing opinions, discussions can make you feel closer. It doesn’t have to become an argument when you discuss things you don’t always agree on.

However, all couples experience conflict sometimes that requires healthy communication. When it happens, focus on communication and listening to your partner. It can help you overcome issues while deepening your bond.

Communicating with a woman also requires honestly expressing yourself. Don’t agree with her to avoid a fight because she’ll realize the issue didn’t get fixed.

Listen to what she says and respond honestly. She wants to know your thoughts, and it’s the only way she’ll feel like you can use communication to resolve problems.

Some ways to improve communication in your relationship include the following:

repeating back what your partner said to check for understanding
not walking away when you get frustrated
being honest about how you feel and what you think
engaging in profound conversation

6 – To Feel Seen and Understood

Women want to know that their partner sees and understands them. Making your woman feel this way shows that you see and understand her emotional state.

She needs to know that you recognize when she’s upset, angry, or experiencing other intense emotions. When she doesn’t think you notice, she’ll wonder whether she can trust you to help her through things. She’ll feel like you don’t emotionally support her, making her feel alone.

Show your partner that you see her emotional state and understand her feelings. It’ll remind her that she’s not alone and can turn to you for support.

When a woman gets angry or upset, part of understanding her involves knowing when she doesn’t want a solution. Sometimes she wants to vent and know you’re listening without hearing advice about what she should do.

Aside from acknowledging her emotional state, you can also limit distractions while talking to your partner. It’ll let her know that your focus is on her and helps improve eye contact.

You don’t have to wait for a woman to get sad to make her feel seen and understood. You can also tell her she looks good when she dresses up or does her hair. Remind her that you enjoy looking at her and still see her beauty.

7 – Time

Women need to know their partner wants to spend time with them. Do things that let her know you value the things you do together and go out of your way to make them happen. Plan things that show how much you value her, and take time to relax with her at home. These little things can make a difference in showing her that she has your time.

Some of the ways you can give time to your partner include doing the following things together:

attend couple’s therapy
go on regular mini-vacations
be vulnerable
prioritize building a connection
learn a new hobby
go to social gatherings with other couples
exercise or go for a walk
have a tech-free day
run errands
do something adventurous
set aside time for regular date nights
find something to laugh about
cook a new recipe

Final Thoughts on Things Women Need from a Relationship Besides Sex

Understanding what women need from a relationship can help strengthen your relationship. You’ll know how to meet her emotional needs, allowing you to deepen your bond and encourage trust.

Your partner won’t even mind if you ask her specifically what she needs from you. While the tips above can help, every woman is different, and yours might request something else. It also saves you from guessing which need you should work on.

Focusing on your partner’s emotional needs builds your relationship in ways you may not have thought of before. You’ll feel closer, trust more, and have many positive memories together.

10 Best Exercises to Melt Belly Fat, According to Trainers

February 11, 2023 by Sarah Barkley

You must find the best exercises for melting belly fat to achieve your goals. The best workouts will help you get healthier and improve your fitness. Some of them require gym equipment, but there are many exercises you can do at home without workout machines.

Many people believe they can use exercises for spot reduction to tone their stomachs, but it won’t work. Spot reduction exercises don’t exist because you must reduce belly fat all over your body to notice a difference in one area.

Exercise alone won’t work, as melting belly fat requires burning more calories than you consume each day. Reducing your calorie intake, exercising more, or implementing a little of both are beneficial ways to make it happen. It requires tracking calories to avoid consuming more than you can burn daily.

Now that you know what it takes to melt your belly fat, it’s time to begin. Choose from exercises that focus on your core while also doing cardio and strength training for the best results. Understanding the dangers of belly fat can help if you need more motivation.

The Dangers of Belly Fat

While you might not like how belly fat looks, that’s not the worst part. Excess belly fat can negatively impact your health, leading to high blood sugar, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and heart diseases. It can also increase your risk of developing diabetes, pancreatitis, fatty liver disease, and other health conditions.

These dangers of belly fat make it essential to address the issue and begin living healthier. You can’t exercise a bad diet away, so it’s also necessary to make healthy food and drink choices. A well-balanced diet and regular exercise routine can help you achieve your desired body while improving your overall health.

Ten Exercises to Melt Belly Fat

Some exercises work better for reducing fat than others. The best workouts include the following:

1 – Running at an Incline Burns Belly Fat and Strengthens Your Legs

Running at an incline burns calories and increases your heart rate more than on a flat surface. You can do it at the gym or outside on a hill, making it possible anywhere you go. Another benefit is that you can increase the incline and your pace as you get stronger.

Consider the following running routine:

1 – walk (or jog) on an incline for ten minutes

2 – jog for another five to ten minutes

3 – pick up your pace more and start running

4 – run for five minutes, then reduce your speed to a jog

5 – every five to ten minutes, alternate between running and jogging

6 – continue the alternation for 30 to 45 minutes

You don’t have to sprint during your run, but you should move quickly enough that you can’t talk to someone.

2 – Rowing to Melt Belly Fat

You don’t have to be on open water to embrace the benefits of rowing. You can use the rowing machine at your local gym to melt belly fat.

This cardio exercise increases your heart rate, burning tons of calories and fat. It also strengthens your core muscles, legs, shoulders, arms, and back.

You can increase the speed and intensity of your workout as you go along. Challenge yourself to beat your previous record, ensuring you step it up a little each time. Here’s how you can do it:

1 – row for twenty seconds and rest for ten seconds without letting go of the handle on your machine

2 – make a mental note of how many meters you went, and then try to beat your distance

3 – repeat the challenge eight times

4 – after those eight, row as fast as you can until you reach 500 meters

5 – use the time from your 500-meter row as a challenge next time

Using a rowing machine requires understanding how to do it. You’ll want a firm grip on the handle without gripping it too hard. It also requires using your legs and pushing yourself straight back.

3 – BOSU Ball Planks

You can do this planking exercise at home, but it requires a BOSU ball. This cardio exercise works your abdominal muscles and burns fat. It tests your balance, unlike a regular plank, working all the muscles in your core, increasing your metabolism, and promoting calorie and fat burning.

BOSU ball planks are easy, and here’s how you do them:

1 – put the BOSU ball on the rubber side with the flat side facing up

2 – hold onto the edges with both hands, keeping them shoulder-width apart

3 – keep your feet tucked together, your core tight, and your hips level

4 – maintain your plank for at least thirty seconds

5 – increase the time you hold the plank as you get stronger

4 – Mountain Climbers

This exercise is similar to a plank because it works your core and other muscles. You start in a high plank position and do the following:

1 – keep your wrists directly beneath your shoulders, core tight, and draw your belly button toward your spine

2 – bring your right knee toward your chest and then back to the plank position

3 – do the same with your left knee

4 – continue alternating sides

5 – Russian Twists

This exercise improves core strength and definition in your oblique muscles. It requires using a medicine ball or plate, but you can do it at home. Here’s how to melt belly fat and sculpt your mid-section:

1 – sit up straight on the floor, bending your knees and lifting your feet off the ground

2 – hold a medicine ball or plate at chest height

3 – lean backward at a 45-degree angle without bending your spine

4 – turn your torso to the right, keeping the medicine ball a few inches from your chest

5 – hold the position and squeeze your right oblique muscles for a few seconds

6 – turn your torso to the left and repeat what you did for the right

6 – Tai Chi

Studies show that Tai Chi can help you lose more weight than traditional exercise. It helps burn calories but doesn’t put much stress on joints, ligaments, and muscles.

You can use it in addition to other exercises without worrying about injury or overuse. Or you can use it when you want to exercise but need a break from stressful workouts.

tai chi benefits — Read about the many benefits of performing tai chi moves every day.

7 – Burpees

This exercise strengthens your core, chest, shoulders, triceps, quads, and more. Burpees get your heart pumping and can burn more than ten calories a minute. Here’s how to do it:

1 – start with your feet shoulder-width apart

2 – drive your hips back and lower your body to a low squat

3 – put your hands on the outside of your feet and hop backward until your chest touches the floor

4 – use your hands to lift yourself into a plank

5 – jump your feet outside of your hands

6 – using your heels, jump into the air with your arms over your head

8 – HIIT Will Melt Belly Fat

The most effective way to do cardio is in short, intense bursts of fast-paced movement. It’s also more effective if you do exercises that alternate between muscle groups. HIIT is high-intensity interval training, and here’s how you can do it:

1 – Warm up for ten minutes

2 – choose from squats, push-ups, kettlebell swings, or single-arm rows and do it for 30 seconds

3 – rest for thirty seconds

4 – choose another exercise to do for thirty more seconds

5 – do this for ten rounds

The exercises you choose should alternate and target different muscle groups. That way, other muscle groups can recover while you work on separate ones.

9 – Stair Climbing

If you don’t want to pay for a gym membership or invest in exercise equipment, stair climbing can help melt belly fat. Stair climbing not only burns fat but also improves your cardiovascular health, increases your metabolism, and strengthens your leg muscles.

10 – Medicine Ball Slams

This exercise can strengthen your core and increase your heart rate. You have two options to choose from, including the overhead medicine ball slam or side-to-side. The overhead version is best for beginners, and here’s how you do it:

1 – stand with your feet hip-width apart and hold the medicine ball with both hands

2 – extend your arms overhead, making sure your entire body stretches

3 – moving your arms toward the ground and hinging over, slam the ball on the ground

4 – you can also bend your knees as you slam the ball

5 – lower into a squat as you pick up the ball and stand up

Once you’ve become comfortable with the overhead medicine ball slam, you can try side-to-side. It uses nearly every muscle, allowing you to work your entire body. Here’s how you do it:

1 – stand as you did in the overhead, but hold the medicine ball on one side of your body

2 – rotate your body, slamming the ball on the outside of your foot

3 – lower yourself into a split squat position to catch the ball as it bounces back up

4 – slam the ball on the other side of your body and repeat until you’re tired

Keep your core tight during this exercise, strengthening your muscles as much as possible. This exercise allows you to break a sweat without overdoing it.

Final Thoughts on Exercises to Melt Belly Fat

Reducing belly fat will help you feel better and become more confident in your appearance. It also improves overall health and reduces your risk of health complications. Implement stretches after your workout to reduce the risk of injury.

Whether you work out at a gym or prefer exercising at home, there’s something here for everyone. Try one or two exercises, switching up each day to see what you like best.

7 Causes of Chronic Overthinking (And How to Fix It)

February 11, 2023 by Chris Butler

Have you heard of overthinking disorder? It’s a relatively new term that’s used to describe someone who has problems with chronic worrying. It’s normal for you to get obsessive thoughts and panic over certain situations, as you’re only human.

It becomes a disorder and a severe problem when it starts to consume you. Worry and anxiety can destroy your life if you allow it. Your genetics play a big part in how you deal with troubles; some folks are more predisposed to it than others.

Regardless of your lineage, developing healthy coping skills is essential to get you through these moments of intense fear. An overthinking disorder isn’t found in the DSM-5 or the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders but falls under anxiety disorders. The same part of your brain that causes you to overthink is the same region that will cause you stress and anxiety, which is the hypothalamus.

Causes of Chronic Overthinking

You might be an overthinker for many reasons, some of which are hard to manage. If you have an anxiety disorder and feel stressed out all the time, you should know that you’re not alone.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Health, more than forty million adults in this country suffer. Here are some reasons you’re constantly worrying and ways to fix it.

1. You’re a Perfectionist

Throughout your life, you’ve picked up habits and tendencies that are both good and bad. Some folks want everything to be perfect, which is an unrealistic expectation that will only cause you great stress. Wanting perfection shows control issues, and there’s always a more profound reason under the surface.

People who feel they need to be in control often fear what others might think of them. It’s usually found that these folks have low self-esteem and often feel inferior. They might compare themselves to others, making it easy to get into overthinking traps.

The Fix:

You must set realistic goals for yourself and those around you. High standards are okay, but you must realize that you can never achieve perfectionism. Learn to embrace your uniqueness and stop looking at your mistakes as failures. Instead, look at them as a chance to learn and grow.

2. You Have a Hard Time Making Decisions

Do you have problems making decisions? Even facing the jelly aisle at the grocery store might be a dilemma, as so many choices feel overwhelming. Some folks become paralyzed when it comes to deciding things.

If you’re constantly finding that even simple decisions are unbearable, it’s probably because you’re overthinking the situation. You’re spending too much time focusing on it, and it will cause stress and anxiety. When your mind is preoccupied with unnecessary things, you can’t be present for your job or family.

The Fix:

Make a pro and con list before making significant decisions. Seeing things in written form can ease your mind that you’re making the right choice. Just take a chance when it comes to simple things like choosing that jelly. The worst that could happen is you don’t like it and must buy another one.

3. Chronic Overthinking Comes From Living in the Past

Have you ever heard the term “worrywart”? It comes from a popular comic strip in the 1920s. Cartoonist J.R. Williams coined the term to describe his characters, who often worry unnecessarily about things. While it was humorous in comics, it can be problematic to have chronic worrying.

You won’t find anything but heartbreak when you’re always looking in the rear-view mirror. Sure, some good things happened in the past, but humans don’t tend to dwell on the good stuff. Worrying constantly can take a toll on your body, mind, and spirit, and there’s no need to focus on things you don’t have the power to change.

The Fix:

When thoughts of past mistakes come creeping back to haunt you, remind yourself of all the good things. Counteract negative reflections with positive ones. With practice, you can program your brain to stop dwelling on negativity.

4. You’re Always Thinking of What Could Happen

Assume your daughter had an accident on her bike. Sadly, she broke her arm and had to be treated at the local ER. While you’re glad it was nothing too serious, your mind can’t help but wonder what could have happened to her.

You have flashes of her hitting her head and being rushed to the hospital unconscious. Overthinking a situation is often worrying about things that could have been. These thoughts are common in anxiety disorder, especially envisioning accidents while driving down the road that never happens. The stress from anticipatory events can cripple you.

The Fix:

Focus on the moment. Stop thinking about what might have happened and focus on the here and now. When you have these intrusive thoughts, remind yourself that it’s just your anxiety talking and that everything is okay.

5. Your Stress Levels Are Already Elevated

There are times in your life that are more stressful than others. If you’ve noticed that you’ve been overthinking a lot lately, it can be due to higher-than-normal stress and anxiety. When you’re anxious, your body responds to fear.

You may be concerned about your health, finances, or relationships with your partner. There are 101 things to worry about daily, and a heightened state of your nerves can make you more apt to overthink.

The Fix:

Chronic worrying and overthinking can cause many issues in your body. According to the Harvard School of Public Health, chronic stress can cause you to have high blood pressure, panic attacks, weight gain, chest pains, and weakened immunity. Effective coping mechanisms like journaling, walking in nature, and meditation can help to bring your stress to an acceptable level.

6. You Have Limiting Beliefs

Self-doubt is a common problem that runs parallel with a lack of self-confidence. There are many reasons your esteem might not be where it should be, and it often has a lot to do with your past. If you’ve had a traumatic childhood or been treated horribly in a romantic relationship, it leaves wounds that never entirely heal.

If you don’t believe that you’re worthy of good things happening to you, you limit your abilities greatly. Limiting beliefs can stop you from getting the job you deserve or the partner you’ve always wanted. According to a study published on PLOS One, people who tend to focus on the negative aspects of their life are more apt to have mental health issues than those that let things go.

The Fix:

You need to focus on all your beautiful qualities. Write a list of all the things you’ve overcome in life. Did you get a degree, land a good job, and have beautiful children?

All of this is something to be proud of and celebrate. When you focus on the positive aspects, you have little time to ruminate on negativity.

7. Chronic Overthinking Is a Learned Behavior Pattern

It’s ironic how much of your actions are learned from childhood. If your parents were natural worrywarts, it might be something you picked up from them. Fear can keep you contained in prison without bars.

Consider Jenna. She was a meticulous lady who ran her life by a strict schedule. She had to be up daily and hit the pavement for a run by 6 am. One day when she found out she inherited a farm and millions of dollars, the thought of changing her lifestyle and making any alterations terrified her.

She refused the inheritance, leaving it all to her brother. Years passed, and all her friends and family moved on to bigger and better things. However, Jenna was still stuck in the same monotonous schedule.

She had many great opportunities, but Jenna passed on them because she was too afraid to stretch her comfort zone. Overthinking and worrying cost her millions and her family’s farm. How different would her life be if she took the money and a chance on herself?

The Fix:

Learned behaviors can be overcome by replacing them with healthier habits. You need to reset your mind. If your fears keep you from living a well-rounded life, it’s time to make alterations. You have the power to change your story, but it all begins by starting to let go.

Final Thoughts on Chronic Worrying and Overthinking

When absolute resistance and overthinking dominate your life, it indicates an inner turmoil that needs to be addressed. Counseling is a good outlet that can help you deal with these issues so that you can process them and move on. Think of your life as a vehicle that runs on positivity. How far will you go if you constantly fill your tank with negativity and worry?

20 Reasons Women Prefer Emotionally Intelligent Men for Relationships

February 11, 2023 by Lakeisha Ethans

Emotional intelligence is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, but it’s not a given that you will find someone emotionally intelligent. Sure, for some people, this is an innate trait. But, more often than not, it’s something people need to work on developing. Even though it will take some effort to find someone emotionally intelligent, it will be worth it.

Sure, it’s fun to be with someone a little immature and crazy. But you can’t afford to waste your time on someone who is not taking life seriously and can’t truly be there for you. Women will always prefer emotionally intelligent men, and here are twenty reasons why.

20 Reasons Women Prefer Emotionally Intelligent Men

1. Emotionally Intelligent Men Are Mature

Emotionally intelligent men possess the maturity women seek in a stable relationship. This trait attracts women because they know they can have a serious relationship with such a person. Maybe it’s fun to date someone immature for a while. But they will never offer you the same level of seriousness as a mature guy. Plus, they will be much more likely to understand why some sacrifices must be made.

2. Intelligence Means Stability

Stability is an essential aspect of serious relationships. Maybe in your teens, you could handle jumping from one relationship to the other. Or perhaps you were even content with being in an on-again, off-again type of relationship. But this is not the way to go once you reach a certain point in your life. This is why most women prefer emotionally intelligent guys; they offer stability and a promise that you’ll build a future together.

3. Emotionally Intelligent Men Are the Most Committed

An emotionally intelligent guy will always be attractive because they will be committed to you and your relationship. You will know that they are in for the long run, and they will do what it takes to make things work. Even if they are busy or their life is hectic, they will make time for you and will want to make your time together as memorable as possible. They are more invested in the relationship and likely to work through difficult times to maintain it.

4. Intelligence Means Someone Can Communicate Effectively

Emotionally intelligent men can express themselves clearly and listen actively to their partners. This can lead to better communication and understanding in the relationship. They can also recognize and understand their and their partner’s emotional responses. They may also be more likely to give their partners the benefit of the doubt, which can reduce misunderstandings and conflicts.

5. They Handle Conflicts Well

As mentioned before, emotionally intelligent men handle conflict well, which is a great trait to have in a relationship. They can navigate conflicts healthily and constructively rather than resorting to anger or defensiveness. These guys don’t default to anger when something is off. Instead, they will try to understand why there is a conflict and what they can do to fix it.

6. Emotionally Intelligent Men Are Open to Change

Emotionally intelligent men are open to feedback and willing to change their behavior to improve the relationship. They are not people who take offense when someone suggests they could do something better. On the contrary, they will take any suggestion and see if it has merit. If there is, they will work it into their personality. This means they are less likely to hold on to toxic or harmful behaviors.

7. They Accept Their Partner’s Flaws

These men can understand and accept the imperfections and vulnerabilities of their partners rather than trying to change or control them. They know that no one is perfect and that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. They can recognize and accept the imperfections and vulnerabilities of their partner rather than trying to change or control them. It’s worth noting that accepting your partner’s flaws doesn’t mean ignoring or tolerating unhealthy or abusive behavior.

8. Intelligence Is Respectful

Emotionally intelligent men can recognize and respect their partner’s boundaries and opinions. They understand that everyone is entitled to their own feelings and beliefs, and they don’t try to control or manipulate their partner. They are open to discussing, understanding, and, if needed, respecting their partner’s perspective without imposing their own.

9. They Love to Give

Women love to be spoiled in a relationship. After all, gift-giving is a love language showing how much you care and know someone well. Emotionally intelligent men understand that love is not just about receiving but also about giving, and they put that understanding into practice by consistently showing their partner love and affection.

10. Emotionally Intelligent Men Are Open-Minded

Emotionally intelligent men tend to be more understanding and empathetic, making them more effective in building and maintaining relationships. They are willing to change their mind or try new things if presented with sound reasoning or evidence. This means they are great, stable partners who will work with you rather than against you.

11. Intelligence Is Adaptable

Women love men who are adaptable and are down to change if that’s what’s better for them and the relationship. They can read social cues and understand the underlying emotions that drive behavior. This can help them to respond more effectively to others and to diffuse tense situations.

12. They Are More Independent

Independence is a beautiful quality, and women will always be attracted to a man who knows what he wants and gets it. Emotionally intelligent men have a strong sense of self and can make decisions and take actions based on their values and needs. They can stand up for themselves and assert their own needs without being controlled or swayed by the opinions or emotions of others.

13. They are Honest

Emotionally intelligent men can express themselves clearly and authentically. This allows them to connect with others and build deeper, more meaningful relationships. They can communicate honestly and openly about their emotions and thoughts about a situation. They can acknowledge their mistakes and make amends, which helps build trust and respect in relationships.

14. They are Reliable

Being reliable also means being consistent in one’s behavior and communication. Not all men possess this trait; it’s quite rare. But it’s common amongst emotionally intelligent men. They can follow through on their commitments, whether they are small or large. This means they are dependable in their behavior and communication.

15. They Are Very Romantic

Being romantic doesn’t necessarily mean grand gestures or buying expensive gifts. It can also be small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness, such as a heartfelt note or a simple gesture like cooking dinner or giving a thoughtful gift. Emotionally intelligent men understand that thought and effort count rather than the cost. They can show their affection in ways that are meaningful to their partners.

16. They Are Self-Aware

Emotionally intelligent men can identify the sources of their emotions, be they external or internal, such as past experiences, values, or beliefs, and understand how they impact their thoughts and behavior. This self-awareness allows them to control their own emotions rather than letting them control them.

17. They Are Supportive

These men can empathize with others and understand the challenges they may be facing. They offer their support in a way that is appropriate to the situation. That might mean providing a shoulder to cry on, offering practical help, or simply being a sounding board. They can give advice and help where they can. But they also know when to step back and let the person work through things independently.

18. Emotionally Intelligent Men Understand

Understanding someone is about being able to accept and respect the differences in others. Emotionally intelligent men can acknowledge and accept that everyone has their own unique perspective and way of experiencing life. They can respect and appreciate the diversity of others, which helps to build trust and respect in relationships.

19. Intelligence Is Kind

Kindness is one of a person’s best traits, especially a romantic partner. Emotionally intelligent men are willing to help others. They are willing to make sacrifices for the benefit of others. They can empathize and understand others and can communicate in a positive and non-judgmental way. They can give constructive feedback when necessary, but always in a way that is considerate of others’ feelings. Plus, they will make for great parents in the future. Emotionally intelligent men are great with kids, and they will quickly adapt to being a family man.

20. Intelligence Is More Fun

So far, all the traits associated with emotionally intelligent men were serious and could be considered a bit stiff. But that doesn’t mean they are boring. They can even be more fun than a more immature man. And that’s because they understand what you need and what would make you happy. They won’t make you go to a football game if that doesn’t interest you. Instead, they will be flexible and adapt to your idea of fun. And they will work towards finding something that’s fun for both of you.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Women Prefer Emotionally Intelligent Men

Even though relationships should be fun and engaging, there also needs to be a lot of understanding and seriousness associated with a good relationship. When a woman looks for a serious relationship, she will look for someone with high emotional intelligence.

That’s because she will look for someone understanding and open-minded but who can also be fun and romantic. It is important to note that emotional intelligence is not the only trait women may look for in romantic partners, and everyone has unique preferences.

However, emotional intelligence can be important in attracting and maintaining a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship. Chances are, if you aren’t an emotionally intelligent man, you won’t find a woman who will stick by your side. You have to be willing to grow if you want to be in a stable, serious relationship.

12 Signs It’s Time to Make Positive Change

February 10, 2023 by Deborah Tayloe

Do you love your life and feel fulfilled? If you answered that question truthfully, you know there’s always room for positive change. It’s not that you don’t want to do bigger and better things, but you’ve become complacent like many people.

The biggest problem affecting everyone is becoming so comfortable in your current situation that you’re afraid to change. It’s not that you don’t want to reach for the stars, but you know it’s much easier to keep doing what you’re doing. Taking a leap and exploring new options requires faith and believing in yourself.

Twelve Indications It’s Time to Make a Positive Change

Your body becomes accustomed to time with or without a clock. Did you know that some people can simultaneously awaken without an alarm clock daily? Their body gives signals from within because it’s set on a circadian rhythm.

Just as your body works with your mind to wake you when you’re in slumber, it can also alert you when it’s time to make changes. You know you need to move and do something different because your gut instincts and inner drive are compelling. If you’re unsure of the signs you need to make alterations, here are a few to consider.

1. You’re Ready for Positive Change if Your Relationships Are Suffering

Positive changes are warranted when your life and job make you miserable. The problem is you start snapping at people you love, and you might have less time to spend with them if depression comes into play. While you don’t mean to hurt anyone you care about, you’re just so miserable and ready for positive changes that it’s clouding your judgment.

2. You’re Bored

Changes are imminent when you become bored with life. Do you find things so predictable that there’s no excitement anymore? It’s effortless to get caught up in routines and the daily grind that you don’t leave any time for spontaneity. Making positive changes can help you find things to look forward to, and you can get out and mingle more and have a thriving social life.

3. You’re Picking Up Bad Habits

When your life is in a constant state of unhappiness, it’s easy to pick up bad habits to self-soothe. According to a study in the National Library of Medicine, self-soothing behaviors are learned from infancy. Babies will suck their thumbs, play with their hair, and rock back and forth to calm themselves.

It’s one of the reasons why experts tell parents not to run to their children each time they cry, as they learn to engage in these behaviors to calm down. You’re much like that infant trying their best to make themselves feel better. You’ll try to fill those areas with other things when you feel unfulfilled and empty.

So many external distractions cause chaos and noise in your life that you long for anything to ease that discomfort. Some everyday bad habits people pick up are overeating, binge-watching television, playing video games for extended periods, and smoking or drinking.

4. You Need Positive Change if Your Self-Esteem Is Deteriorating

When you aren’t happy with your life, it can mess with your identity. How you look at yourself in the mirror can be altered by your doubts and depressive feelings. It’s a clear sign that you need to make a positive change when you begin to doubt your abilities and lose faith in yourself.

You may lose confidence in your abilities to make decisions about anything, as your instincts are off these days. It will require a leap of faith to make changes, but it’s well worth the risk if you can muster the courage.

5. You’re Ignoring Your Personal Goals

What goals? Your dreams and aspirations are nothing more than a faded memory of days gone by. You can’t focus on tomorrow because you’re just trying to make it through today. If you wake up and show up to work on time, it’s often a significant accomplishment.

A fascinating scripture in Proverbs 29:18 states that you will perish when you don’t have a vision. You’re created to pursue greater things. You’re not living up to your full potential when you become complacent and settle.

6. The Negatives Outweigh the Positives in Your Life

When you get to the point where you can no longer think of anything positive about your life, it’s time to make changes. Focusing your mind by making a list and evaluating your situation is helpful. What bad points are driving you to the brink of a mental break, and which are the good points that you like?

Sometimes when you put things on paper and analyze a situation, it makes it easier to identify what’s bringing you down. You don’t have to move across the world to be happy, as sometimes all it takes is a job change or new friends. Positive changes can be small and still be effective.

7. You Need to Make Positive Change if Mentally Checked Out

It’s common for people to feel like a hamster going round and round in their wheel. You’re just going through everyday life, but you’ve checked out. Getting up to do the daily grind is more than you can handle. Your energy levels have plummeted because you’re so sick and tired of the mundane life and living to pay bills.

8. You No Longer Take Pride in Your Work

You’ve always taken pride in your job and probably got awards for your service. However, you do the bare minimum to get a check and go home. You can’t give any more of yourself as there’s no more to give.

9. You Need Positive Change if You Feel Stagnant

You’re at a place in your life where you’re not progressing. A swamp doesn’t have any fresh water coming into it, and it harbors mosquitos and other pests. Since there’s water flowing in, it doesn’t have movement.

Have you driven by a swamp? There’s often a pungent smell that comes along with those waters. Right now, you feel like you’re not moving in any direction, and it stinks. You think that the world is passing you by and everyone in it. You long to get moving and make positive changes, but you don’t know how to do it.

10. You’re Operating on a Survival Mindset

Your life, job, and family no longer bring you joy or contentment, as you’re just going through the motions. You show up to work to get the check, but it feels like a soul-sucking experience. At this point, you’re only doing what you must to survive.

It doesn’t matter how much money you make or what you do, and you’re never happy. You have dreams and goals but are too afraid to take risks. You’re stuck in a comfortable rut you don’t want to move from, no matter how miserable it makes you.

11. You Feel Stuck

The old movie depicts quicksand as something that pulls you under and leaves you unable to move. Your life can often feel this way. You feel the pressures bringing you down and trying to take you under, yet you’re so stuck that you cannot move to the left or the right. Many people feel their inches from going ultimately under, and operating on this level can affect your mental health. Feeling stuck and unable to move is a big sign that it’s time for a positive change.

12. You’re Ready to Move On

Are you living your life constantly looking in the rearview mirror? Is there something that happened in your past that’s holding you back from living a fulfilling life? The thought of moving on sounds exciting, and you know it must be done. However, you don’t know how to start.

You dream about a new job, city, and significant changes that will change your life from mundane to exciting. Yet, it would be best to have more confidence and wisdom in making these changes for yourself. When all you can think about is making changes, it’s a sign that you’re ready. It’s time to trust your gut and see if altering small things can significantly impact you.

Final Thoughts on Making Positive Changes

Does any of the feelings listed above resonate with you? Noticing you have a problem is the first step, and then you can put a plan together to help positive changes come about in your life. Sure, altering yourself can be frightening, as humans are creatures of habit.

Even if you’re unhappy, you’ve become comfortable in your mystery. It’s time to revive your confidence, which will help you make the moves necessary to say goodbye, cut ties, and move on to greener pastures. It’s time to get some excitement back in your life.

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