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5 Things Women Do That Men Will Never Understand

December 19, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Women know that men might never understand some of the things we do, so it is fun to torture them with the stark contrasts in our behavior and keep them guessing. Below we explore five of the top things women do that men find puzzling about our sex.

NOTE: We recognize that sometimes the opposite is true–that women do things that men can’t comprehend. We covered that topic separately, as the behaviors somewhat differ.

5 Things Women Do That Men Have A Hard Time Understanding

1. Intentionally subjecting ourselves to emotional or physical pain

If a tissue box is required for watching, you can bet that men do not understand a woman’s need to watch movies that make us cry. Why do women put themselves through these emotional roller coasters? Researchers say it is likely because we are seeking to understand how to achieve romance in a relationship. However, ‘chick flicks’ affect relationship expectations, beliefs, and overall relationship experiences for both women and teenage girls.

Seeking to understand the suffering of others in sad movies could be related to the reason women wear uncomfortable fashion; wearing those heels isn’t comfortable, but being comfortable is not the point. There will be times when we have to face difficult emotional and physical feelings. Subjecting ourselves to pain is a way to adapt to our own difficulties since a broken heart is nothing compared to a shoe strap that digs in to your foot all day.

2. The ladies’ room party

Revealing what happens when a group of women go to the restroom together feels like a betrayal to the female sex, but men may never otherwise understand this thing that women do. From sharing feminine hygiene products to talking about our dates to planning an escape from a bad date or trading makeup tips, there are many reasons we need a partner or three in the ladies room.

3. Asking trick questions

“Does this make me look fat?” or “Why don’t you just marry your friends since you spend all your time with them?” are trick questions that men know they should not answer, and yet women do this in conversation. Women are very good at expressing emotions, but sometimes we struggle to say “I’d like a compliment from you” or “I wish you enjoyed spending time with me as much as you do with your friends.” So before you answer, take a moment to realize that she needs some loving attention, and then give it to her.

4. Saying the opposite of how you feel

“Nothing’s bothering me, I’m fine,” is not the truth, but saying the opposite of what we mean is one thing that women do that men cannot understand. Body language, tone, facial expression, and context are what she is hoping you can interpret when a woman doesn’t tell you what is wrong. Most likely, she doesn’t think you are capable of understanding why she is so frustrated with you.

5. Complain when guys hit on us

For most men, getting upset about constantly receiving sexual advances is something that they will never understand. But for women, it means bringing our ‘A’ game of diplomacy. Tactfully, yet assertively declining your offer and continuing to put you at ease all the while. There is an art to rejecting advances, and most women have had a lot of practice at it. Unfortunately, men don’t see their assertive pickup lines as a problem like women do.

Researchers in 2001 at the Women’s Studies International Forum say that sexual harassment is not a broad enough term for what women deal with in some oppressive environments. There were instances of sexism reported where although the women did not interpret these experiences as sexual harassment, they were not saying that they welcomed these experiences, either.

Equality between the sexes may have made social advances, but the differences between us can leave a vast cavern of misunderstanding. Improving emotional intelligence and ability to empathize with women’s emotions is a path to help men understand these 5 mysterious things about us women.

Sources:
http://www.thelist.com/79698/stuff-girls-guys-just-dont-get/
Chick flicks and relationship expectations
http://www.ncurproceedings.org/ojs/index.php/NCUR2013/article/viewFile/658/340

Relationship Expert Explains What to Never Say to Your Partner When They’re Upset

December 19, 2017 by Power of Positivity

When your partner is upset, you may immediately need to try and say something to improve it. Or, if they’re upset with you, you may feel the need to defend yourself. That’s natural! We all have the same human instinct to defend ourselves and make our loved ones feel better.

Unfortunately, things don’t always come out the way that we planned. In fact, sometimes we say things that can be taken the wrong way, or say things that we don’t mean at all. This can lead to even more upset between ourselves and our partners. Thankfully, relationship experts are here to tell us exactly what not to do when our partner is upset.

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James

Here Are 3 Things You Should Avoid Saying To Your Partner When They’re Upset

Avoid saying these things to someone who is upset.

1. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong.”

When your partner is upset, it may be hard for them to talk about what’s on their mind or what they’re feeling. Talking about emotions doesn’t come easily to everyone, and sometimes people may feel better keeping things to themselves until they calm down rather than talking about what’s upsetting them in the heat of the moment.

Psychotherapist and author Tina B. Tessina says, “Ask if you can help, then give your partner space to figure himself or herself out. Later, when it’s all OK again, ask what your partner would like you to do in those situations. Some people like to be left alone to work it out, some like to talk, some just want silent company.”

Therefore, trying to force your partner to talk to you by nagging them to tell you what’s wrong is one of the significant things you never want to do when your partner is upset. Not only will it make them feel like they can’t refuse or else risk upsetting you in the process, but it will make them feel upset that you’re not respecting their boundaries of communication. So, when your partner is upset, the best thing to do for them is to wait it out until they feel ready to tell you what’s wrong.

2. “I just want to help.”

This may be a true statement, and you may genuinely want to help … but, in the end, they’re the ones who are feeling upset. It’s their emotions that need validation right now. When you try to get your partner to talk to you and tell you what’s wrong, pulling out “I just want to help” shifts the focus off your partner’s genuine distress and onto your own feelings.

Psychologist Nicole Martinez says, “It all depends on how your partner handles their moods and what they need during these times… Some people need time and space, and if they do, let them have it, no matter how badly you want to help. This way, they can openly talk about their feelings, and you can either be there to support them, or the two of you can come to resolutions together…”

Wanting to help is a great thing, and so is feeling poorly when you’re unable to – it means that you have a great deal of empathy and genuinely love your partner. Unfortunately, getting them to tell you what’s bothering them before they’re ready by guilting them into letting you help isn’t the right way to do it. Instead, let them know that you want to help them and that you’re here for them when when they’re ready to talk about it. Extend your help as an offer rather than a demand.

3. “You’re overreacting.”

When we feel emotions, we are often in the thickest part of our feelings. Everything is hypersensitive. Additionally, each emotion feels too large to contain. It may not seem like a big deal when your partner is upset about something. But you don’t live in your partner’s head.

Moreover, you do not experience their pain firsthand. If you tell them they’re overreacting, you may set the stage for your partner to no longer feel safe expressing certain emotions around you. At worst, you’re making them feel invalidated and unable to trust their own perception.

Dating expert Stacey Laura Lloyd says, “If your intent is to make him less upset and agitated, you’ll have the exact opposite outcome. These phrases are perceived as demeaning directives that belittle and degrade your partner. Rather than telling him how to feel and react to the matter, you’ll be better able to resolve things by letting him vent and listening carefully to what he’s saying.”

Even if they overreact, they’ll likely conclude the same when they calm down. But in the meantime, it’s important to validate how they’re feeling and talk it through with them. Offer your support and an ear to listen to, rather than trying to force them out of what they’re feeling.

Final thoughts on never saying these phrases to an upset person

Dealing with someone who is upset and emotional isn’t always the easiest thing to do. In fact, it is quite complicated. That’s because you never know if what you’re going to say will make them feel better or worse. What works for you may not work for your partner, and sometimes trying to be helpful can cause more damage than good. But, as long as you avoid saying things that will go wrong, you can work with your partner to find out what you can do when they’re upset to make them feel better without invalidating or making them feel worse.

References:
https://www.bustle.com/articles/181222-how-to-deal-with-your-partners-bad-moods-according-to-11-experts
https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/never-say-to-spouse/3/

8 Signs You Have A Corn Intolerance

December 16, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Corn intolerance?

Have you ever known someone with a corn intolerance? Do you deal with the condition? (If so, we’d love your opinion on the article. Please comment!)

A corn allergy is quite rare. Additionally, corn allergies are difficult to spot as the symptoms are similar to those of grain, grass pollen, and seed allergies.

Rare or not, food allergies can pose a severe threat to health. According to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), 30,000 people require emergency room treatment, and 150 individuals die yearly from food allergies.

The problem got so bad that 2004, the (FDA) passed the Food Allergen Labeling and Consumer Protection Act (FALCPA). The law was necessary, as food manufacturers failed to label products that included common and rare allergens appropriately.

Astoundingly, the language within FALCPA did not list corn as an allergen! (Kickbacks, anyone?)

Anyways, despite this egregious mistake, knowing the ingredients and products derived from corn is crucial if you’re concerned about a potential allergy.

Here they are baking powder, caramel, cellulose, citric acid, dextrin, dextrose, inositol, malt, maltodextrin, monosodium glutamate (MSG), semolina, sodium erythorbate, sorbitol, starch, vanilla extract, xanthan gum, and xylitol.

If you have a physical reaction after eating corn or corn-derived products – if you develop hives or become nauseated, or your nose begins to run, for example – you may be allergic to corn. ~ American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology

Symptoms of a Corn Allergy

Physical reactions to corn and corn products may be from mild to severe. A life-threatening allergic reaction anaphylaxis (pronounced ‘anna-phil-axis’) can happen very quickly. Because it can cause airway swelling, breathing impairment, and a blood pressure drop, it is an emergency. In fact, it warrants a call to 911, as it can be fatal.

Anaphylaxis can send the body into shock. It results from a sudden drop in blood pressure to the brain, heart, and lungs. It’s worth noting that, in several medical studies, symptoms of anaphylaxis have been linked primarily to the corn-based products dextrose and cornstarch.

Besides anaphylaxis, here are eight other possible signs of corn allergy:

– Breathing trouble (a medical emergency)

– Diarrhea

– Headache

– Hives (red skin bumps) or skin rash

– Muscle cramps

– Nausea

– Runny or stuffed nose

– Vomiting

Due to the potentially life-threatening symptoms of food allergies, you should pay particular attention to how the food(s) affect your breathing.

If you suddenly experience trouble breathing, contact emergency services immediately!

Identifying a Corn Allergy

If particular foods are causing physical reactions, however mild, it is essential that you:

– Book a doctor’s appointment

– Write down what you eat

– Write down any symptoms

The above information will greatly assist the physician in narrowing down possible causes of your reaction.

After ruling out other health issues that may cause the same kind of response, the physician will perform what is called a prick test or scratch test. This particular examination involves the doctor putting a tiny amount of food solution onto the area of the skin that is pricked or scratched.

If the skin forms a bump, it usually indicates that an allergy is present.

(It’s worth mentioning here that allergists are licensed physicians who specialize in diagnosing and treating allergic diseases. Visiting a specialist is covered by most healthcare plans.)

If you are not experiencing breathing problems and cannot visit a physician or specialist, try staying away from corn or corn products for a few weeks. That gives you time to see if your symptoms reside.

Prevention and Treatment of Corn Allergy

Regarding prevention, your top priority must be avoiding any product containing corn.

This includes ‘no-brainer’ foods such as corn muffins, cornbread, corn oil, and corn syrup (please read the labels!)

Corn byproducts are used as an ingredient in many of the following foods:

– Bread

– Candies

– Canned fruits and juices

– Cereals

– Cheese

– Deli meat

– Jams

– Juices

– Salad dressing

– Sauces

– Soda (diet and regular)

– Yogurt

And some other non-food products:

– Clothing

– Crayons

– Dishwasher Soap

– Makeup

– Paint

– Pet food

– Shampoo

– Toothpaste

Here are some recommendations for anyone who is – or may be – suffering from a corn or other food allergy:

– Entirely avoid the following: baking powder, corn bran, cornmeal, corn oil, corn syrup (including fructose), maize, and vegetable oil.

– Avoid processed foods whenever possible. Instead, eat fresh fruits and vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, and whole (‘100%’) fruit juice.

– Be extra cautious at barbeques, dining halls, restaurants, and other places where you purchase a meal.

– Carry an antihistamine, e.g., Benedryl, in case you experience a sudden episode.

– Ensure that your child’s caretakers are aware of their condition. Additionally, remind them periodically.

– Wear a bracelet that states you suffer from a food allergy.

6 Brain Training Exercises That Make People Happier

December 16, 2017 by Power of Positivity

What can you do to be happier? It turns out that the answer is simple–think positive thoughts. But that’s not as easy as it sounds without training your brain to embrace positivity.

“Your brain is simply built with a greater sensitivity to unpleasant news. The bias is so automatic that it can be detected at the earliest stage of the brain’s information processing.” ~ Hara Estroff Marano: “Our Brain’s Negative Bias”

The Negativity Bias

Many people make negative thinking a habit.

These eight words may be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s an unfortunate truth. Here’s an example of one of the several experiments by John Cacioppo, Ph.D., and professor at the University of Chicago:

Cacioppo showed a bunch of people some images known to produce positive feelings (for example, a cute animal or nice car); then showed the same group images associated with negative and neutral emotions.

Images of the cerebral cortex demonstrate that the brain produces more electrical activity following negative stimuli. (The cerebral cortex plays an essential part in consciousness.)

We attribute the brain’s tendencies to focus on the negative – once again – to our fight-or-flight response.

To override the innate negativity response, we must retrain our mind and brain. One of the best ways to do this is through positive thinking exercises.

If we make the practice of positive thinking habitual, we will witness positive transformations in just about every area of life.

We’ll begin to think, feel, and act with more positivity. In turn, these effects will improve our relationships, make us more productive, create powerful feelings of gratitude, and – in general – enable us to see things in a more positive light.

How great would that be?

Let’s get to it, then!

Here are Brain Training Exercises That Make People Happier

1. Relish the Present Moment

Martin Seligman, director of the Positive Psychology Network, emphasizes the importance of defining what a “good life” looks like to us.

Seligman recommends what is called the “beautiful day” exercise. The beautiful day exercise involves outlining how your ideal day would look like. Once you have your outline, put each step into practice while enjoying the present moment of each situation.

2. Breathe Mindfully

Of all six tips, this may be the most important. Breathing has an incredible amount of power when you simply pay attention to it.

Most times, we’re unaware of our breathing. Unless you’re a yogi master or something, your “regular” breath is probably suboptimal. Anger, anxiety, fear, stress, and tension almost automatically contribute to shallower breathing.

All you need is five minutes. Whether or not you’re anxious, sad or whatever, take five minutes a few times a day to focus on your breath.

Here’s a quick exercise:

– Sit upright, but not tight. Shoulders back, chest out.

– Rest your hands in a peaceful position.

– Now, focusing on the sensations of the nostrils, breath in deeply for 3 seconds. The inhale should fill your belly and diaphragm.

– Pursing your lips, exhale slowly for six seconds.

– Repeat six times.

An easy way to remember the exercise is to remember the numbers 3-6-6. 3-second inhales, 6-second exhales, 6 times!

Breathing has an incredible amount of power when you simply pay attention to it.

3. Listen to music to be happier

Whatever music puts you in a good mood, listen to it. Many people find that relaxing, meditative music and “white noise” mixes can work wonders.

Good music has been found in all sorts of studies to increase the “feel good” chemicals in the brain.

So jam out!

4. Express gratitude

It’s human nature to always think about the “next big thing” whatever that may entail.

Look at your own life. Have you ever constructed a scenario when the “ultimate happiness” would manifest?

“When I finish college, I’ll be happy.” “When I get that beautiful home…” “When I get the job I want…” “When I finally get the money I deserve…” When I get married…”

Make no mistake. These are all possibly beautiful things.

They lose their power to make us happy, however, when we forget about them! Practicing gratitude is so powerful because it’s a reminder of the things we already have. Further, it may remind us that we don’t need many of the things we think that we do.

Simple practice: write three things you’re grateful for every morning.

5. Smile

Flashing an ear-to-ear grinner has a particular type of magic.

Many studies show that smiling, whether or not we “feel” like it, produce “happiness” within the brain and body.

In a 30-year longitudinal study conducted at the University of California-Berkeley, researchers examined the smiles of students in an old yearbook and measured their well-being and success.

The researchers then hypothesized the following: how fulfilling and long-lasting their marriages would be, how highly they’d score on a standardized test of well-being, and how inspiring they’d be to others.

Those who smiled the widest in their yearbook photo reliably scored higher in all of the above measures.

6. Simplify

Whether we’re addicted to our phones, buying things we don’t need, overeating, or overcomplicating work – many of us can benefit from simplifying our lives.

Simplifying, and it’s close cousins – minimalism or decluttering – can make life easier.

When it comes right down to it, less is more – and these three magic words apply to just about everything, including possessions. It’s beyond the scope of this article to delve into everything simplifying entails, but it could mean:

– less clothing

– less clutter

– more open space (at work and in your home)

– eliminating debt

– going carless

– limiting expectations

The list is endless. And the feedback is overwhelmingly positive.

Sources:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/ericsavitz/2011/03/22/the-untapped-power-of-smiling/#23351f467a67
https://www.livestrong.com/article/125062-positive-thinking-exercises/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200306/our-brains-negative-bias

Harvard Researchers Explain How Optimism Helps You Live Longer

December 16, 2017 by Power of Positivity

The power of optimism. If someone told you “Hey, being positive can help you live a longer life” would you do anything different?

Perhaps you’re inquisitive, you may want to know the source of such information. “Where did you hear that?” you ask, expecting some pseudoscientific drivel from a third-rate website. “Harvard University” they reply.

Your interest may heighten a bit more on hearing that; as well, it should.

Without going too much into the process of medical research, suffice to say that it’s rigorous, time-consuming, and stressful. It has to be. Scientists are required to be meticulous in their judgement, actions, and how they handle even the smallest of details. If they’re not, and people follow their published advice, the situation can get messy – and quick.

It’s safe to assume, then, that researchers at Harvard don’t put their credibility – and thereby their careers – at risk by publishing something without merit.

Especially when that “something” is extending life. And especially if it’s tied to something scientists are cautious about testing: emotions.

Yet, six scientists from arguably the most prestigious school on the planet have done exactly that.

“It has been demonstrated (that) optimism can be learned. If (the relationship) between optimism and broader health outcomes are established, it may lead to novel interventions that improve public health and longevity.” ~ Kim et. al

Why Did Researchers Perform This Study on Optimism?

In the simplest terms, this research was conducted because mounting evidence suggests that lifestyle factors aren’t the only puzzle piece.

Though risk factors (alcoholism, poor diet, smoking) are indeed important, so is mental health and, more specifically, psychological well-being. Now, medical professionals want to know more about the relationship between a positive attitude (optimism) and life expectancy.

Some basics of the optimism study

Here are a few things you may want to know about the study’s methods:

– Data used for the research was derived from the Nurse’s Health Study, an extensive study conducted bi-annually to assess women’s health.

– 70,021 women were assessed over eight years.

– The Harvard study is the first to measure the direct relationship between optimism and health risk.

– Severe medical conditions studied include cancer, heart disease, stroke, respiratory disease, and infection.

– Among the major health conditions studied, four are among the top five leading causes of death in the United States.

– Also studied was effect of “levels of optimism” on other mortality risks, including blood pressure, diet, and exercise.

What did they find?

The researchers found some promising stuff. Let’s dig in a little!

To keep things interesting, we’ll bullet point the study’s most important findings. In no particular order, here they are:

– Women ranking in the top quartile (25 percent) of “optimism levels” had a 30 percent lower risk of death across all major diseases.

– More specifically, the women had a 52 percent lower risk of death from infection; 39 percent lower risk of death from stroke; 38 percent lower risk of death from heart disease and respiratory disease; and a 16 percent lower risk of death from cancer.

– All of the abovementioned percentages remained steady; even when taking into account all high-risk factors!

– Positive optimism levels and health outcomes remained steady across self-reported risk factors. Among the reported conditions: high cholesterol, hypertension, type 2 diabetes, myocardial infection (heart attack), stroke, cancer, and body mass index.

What does this all mean?

Eric Lee, the study’s leading author, states “Our new findings suggest that we should make efforts to boost optimism, which has been shown to be associated with healthier behaviors and healthier ways of coping with life challenges.”

In short, Dr. Lee suggests that if you’re not a naturally positive person, it’s beneficial to become one. On the topic of “optimism conversion,” the study is clear: it is possible to be more positive!

“A common (illustration of) optimism versus pessimism is a glass with water at the halfway point, where the optimist is said to see the glass as half full and the pessimist sees the glass as half empty.” ~ Wikipedia

Not only is it possible to be more positive, the benefits of a more optimistic outlook extend far beyond side-stepping major health conditions.

A positive mindset proves in multiple studies to:

– maintain a healthy weight

– lower inflammation levels

– increase antioxidants

– strengthen the immune system

– clearer thinking and less “brain fog”

– healthier autonomic (involuntary) functions

Final Thoughts on Optimism

Though positive outlets are not in the study. But there are multiple ways to build a more optimistic mindset. To date, here are the best ways to do just that!

– Cultivate emotional intelligence: “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions…”

– Practice mindfulness: “the quality or state of being conscious or aware of the present moment.”

– Practice gratitude: “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciate for and return kindness.”

– Recite positive affirmations: “(self-directed) emotional support or encouragement,” e.g. “I am in control of my own health.”

Sources:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/282929.php
https://academic.oup.com/aje/article-abstract/185/1/21/2631298/Optimism-and-Cause-Specific-Mortality-A?sid=7816bd15-60fd-491b-bd99-f2cd39646d10
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimism

9 Signs Of An Emotional Bully (And How To Stop Them)

December 16, 2017 by Power of Positivity

An emotional bully is not very different than a kid who physically shoves around smaller children on the playground. However, instead of using their hands as weapons, they choose abusive words.

Bullying is a distinctive pattern of harming and humiliating others, specifically those who are in some way smaller, weaker, younger, or in any way more vulnerable than the bully.

Adults can be bullies, too

One of the most widespread misperceptions about bullying is that the behavior ceases – or is at best rendered irrelevant – when we reach adulthood. This mistaken viewpoint exists despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

A Nationally Known Emotional Bully

Look at the Harvey Weinstein case.

Weinstein is Miramax’s co-founder and former film executive, at one time a leading independent film motion picture and distribution company. Weinstein served as a co-director, director, and/or producer of movies such as Pulp Fiction, Shakespeare In Love, Reservoir Dogs, and Good Will Hunting.

Throughout his 20-plus year reign, Harvey Weinstein is alleged to have sexually-assaulted as many as 50 innocent women, though some speculate the number to be much higher.

Brit Marling, an alleged victim of Weinstein, wrote a compelling first-person essay piece for The Atlantic. In her piece, Marling describes the power of and influence of Weinstein at the time:

“Weinstein was a gatekeeper who could have actresses a career that would sustain their lives and the livelihood of their families. He could also give them fame, which is one of few ways for women to gain some semblance of power and voice inside a patriarchal world. They knew it. He knew it.”

Before Weinstein allegedly committed the crimes, he made it a point to demonstrate his power and influence over the actresses lives.

The women traumatized by Weinstein’s alleged criminal acts were emotionally bullied into submission.

In this article, we’re going to discuss nine common signs of emotional and psychological bullying – and, most importantly, how to stand your ground.

Emotional and psychological bullying serve as the focal points because both are often catalysts for other types of victimization – including physical, material, verbal, and covert harassment.

Here are 9 common signs of bullying (and how to deal with it)

1. Aggression

Adults will project their anger and insecurities onto others, including you, by using aggressive tactics. Aggression is in the bully’s DNA. It’s their persona. And they’ll use it to their advantage if allowed.

First, they’ll violate your personal space to “size you up.” Then they’ll push the boundaries further (unless they’re stopped).

2. Segregation

Overly-aggressive children often bully other kids by first attempting to segregate them from everyone else. Adult bullies operate similarly in this regard.

The workplace is an adult bully’s feeding grounds. They’ll try to persuade others to stay away from you. The adult bully may attempt to dissuade you from staying on with the company or team.

3. Blaming

When it comes to taking responsibility, grown bullies are (unsurprisingly) deficient. There is undoubtedly a narcissistic streak in adult bullies, and they’ll quickly and unabashedly pass the blame onto someone else.

They’ll also shun professional responsibilities, and create chaos in a team environment.

4. Smearing

As mentioned, bullies frequently operate “behind the scenes.” It should come as no surprise if you’re the target of behind-the-back insults.

Just don’t expect to talk some sense into the person. Bullies aren’t usually the most upfront characters.

Speaking of which, here’s number five.

5. Conflict Avoidance

Bullies do not have a courageous bone in their body. We can see this through bullies approach to conflict: running away or avoiding it.

Another way of observing their actual nature is standing up to them – calling them out on their B.S. That tough exterior will evaporate quickly.

6. Instilling Fear

Fear is the bully’s ally. Fear helps them gain and uphold control.

The idea of intentionally instilling a sense of fear into innocent people is repulsive to the rational mind. Therein lies the problem: most bullies are impulsively reckless – exhibiting no evidence of rational thought.

7. Physical intimidation

Bullies whose modus operandi is more emotional than physical will rarely harm another person physically. However, they will violate personal space (see below) and leverage any advantages (size, build, etc.) to make the other feel inferior.

Men who prey on women use physical intimidation all the time.

8. Passive-aggressiveness

Because most bullies are essentially cowards, they’ll routinely avoid direct confrontation. Instead, they’ll opt for a more passive, indirect approach.

Emotional bullies who display passive-aggressive behaviors will often procrastinate, manipulate, pout, or gossip in hopes of inflicting harm.

9. Ignoring boundaries

Susan Biali, a medical doctor, writes about her experience with a bully in Psychology Today:

“I remember physically shaking in the face of it all (thankfully it was over email). My heart was pounding. I backed down immediately. I let them have their plans. It just wasn’t worth it to fight, not when something as mild as suggesting compromise provoked this intense a response.”

Whether in-person, by email, or through someone else, bullies prey on perceived weakness.

Dealing with emotional bullying

The ‘S-I-R’ method (Stand up, Ignore, Report) represents three easy-to-remember steps in dealing with emotional bullies:

1. Stand up for yourself

This first tip is crucial.

Standing up for yourself is a tried-and-true technique, as it gives the person some unexpected (read: shocking) pushback.

The emotional bully may not completely change, but the odds of them backing off are in your favor.

2. Ignore them

If this is your first go-round with the jerk, consider the simple (yet powerful) silent treatment.

If they keep it up, consider one of the other tips.

3. Report it

The majority of workplaces and schools do not tolerate bullying, especially given the recent public awareness campaigns. Companies and other civic organizations are being forced to reevaluate and revamp their internal policies.

The Community

Our Free Community of Positively Powerful SuperFans

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

5 Things Women Do That Men Have A Hard Time Understanding

1. Intentionally subjecting ourselves to emotional or physical pain

2. The ladies’ room party

3. Asking trick questions

4. Saying the opposite of how you feel

5. Complain when guys hit on us

Sources: http://www.thelist.com/79698/stuff-girls-guys-just-dont-get/ Chick flicks and relationship expectations http://www.ncurproceedings.org/ojs/index.php/NCUR2013/article/viewFile/658/340

Here Are 3 Things You Should Avoid Saying To Your Partner When They’re Upset

1. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong.”

2. “I just want to help.”

3. “You’re overreacting.”

Final thoughts on never saying these phrases to an upset person

References: https://www.bustle.com/articles/181222-how-to-deal-with-your-partners-bad-moods-according-to-11-experts https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/never-say-to-spouse/3/

Symptoms of a Corn Allergy

Identifying a Corn Allergy

Prevention and Treatment of Corn Allergy

The Negativity Bias

Here are Brain Training Exercises That Make People Happier

1. Relish the Present Moment

2. Breathe Mindfully

3. Listen to music to be happier

4. Express gratitude

5. Smile

6. Simplify

Sources: https://www.forbes.com/sites/ericsavitz/2011/03/22/the-untapped-power-of-smiling/#23351f467a67 https://www.livestrong.com/article/125062-positive-thinking-exercises/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200306/our-brains-negative-bias

Why Did Researchers Perform This Study on Optimism?

Some basics of the optimism study

What did they find?

What does this all mean?

Final Thoughts on Optimism

Sources: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/282929.php https://academic.oup.com/aje/article-abstract/185/1/21/2631298/Optimism-and-Cause-Specific-Mortality-A?sid=7816bd15-60fd-491b-bd99-f2cd39646d10 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimism

A Nationally Known Emotional Bully

Here are 9 common signs of bullying (and how to deal with it)

1. Aggression

2. Segregation

3. Blaming

4. Smearing

5. Conflict Avoidance

6. Instilling Fear

7. Physical intimidation

8. Passive-aggressiveness

9. Ignoring boundaries

Dealing with emotional bullying

1. Stand up for yourself

2. Ignore them

3. Report it

Sources: http://people.com/celebrity/harvey-weinstein-scandal-gallery/paz-de-la-huerta/

The Community

Our Free Community of Positively Powerful SuperFans

Rise and Shine On! Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist

Stay Connected With

Us

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

Sources:
http://www.thelist.com/79698/stuff-girls-guys-just-dont-get/
Chick flicks and relationship expectations
http://www.ncurproceedings.org/ojs/index.php/NCUR2013/article/viewFile/658/340

References:
https://www.bustle.com/articles/181222-how-to-deal-with-your-partners-bad-moods-according-to-11-experts
https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/never-say-to-spouse/3/

Sources:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/ericsavitz/2011/03/22/the-untapped-power-of-smiling/#23351f467a67
https://www.livestrong.com/article/125062-positive-thinking-exercises/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200306/our-brains-negative-bias

Sources:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/282929.php
https://academic.oup.com/aje/article-abstract/185/1/21/2631298/Optimism-and-Cause-Specific-Mortality-A?sid=7816bd15-60fd-491b-bd99-f2cd39646d10
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimism

Sources:
http://people.com/celebrity/harvey-weinstein-scandal-gallery/paz-de-la-huerta/

Rise and Shine On!
Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist