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Science Explains What Happens To Your Soul After Death

A few things fit the bill of fascinating, thought-provoking, and frightening. Death is one such thing.

Since the dawn of mankind, human beings have pondered the question “What happens after we die?” When you stop and think it, you quickly realize there are only two possible answers: something or nothing.

Of course, religion adds some nuance to the abovementioned question, but that’s pretty much it. Either something happens, or nothing happens. Either we are matter to be disposed of and recycled – or we aren’t.

Which one is it?

Well, if you were to ask Dr. Stuart Hameroff, something happens – and it involves consciousness.

“I believe that consciousness, or its immediate precursor proto-consciousness, has been in the universe all along, perhaps from the big bang.” ~ Dr. Stuart Hameroff, MD

Scientists Reveal What Happens To Your Soul After Death

What is consciousness?

The word ‘consciousness’ is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as:

  • a state of being awake and aware of one’s surroundings.
  • the awareness of perception of something by a person.
  • the fact of awareness by the mind of itself and the world.

Predictably, consciousness – like death – is heavily debated. Some believe that consciousness is the direct result of brain activity. Others think that outside forces, e.g., the ‘Universe,’ ‘God’ – and internal elements, e.g., the ‘Spirit,’ ‘Lifeforce,’ ‘Mind,’ etc., contributes to our state of being.

spirituality

The Orch-OR Theory

Dr. Hameroff oversees the Center of Consciousness Studies at the University of Arizona and has spent the last 50-plus years exploring consciousness as it relates to the field of quantum mechanics.

Quantum mechanics is “a fundamental theory in physics which describes nature at the smallest scales of energy levels of atoms and subatomic particles.”

To explain just how essential quantum mechanics is to the perception of reality – and to Hameroff’s theory– let’s quickly talk about where it all began: The “Double-Slit Experiment.”

(We’ll get back to Orch-OR in a bit!)

The Double-Slit Experiment

Every quantum physicist is baffled by the double-slit experiment. And they have good reason to be –it defies natural law.

Here’s all you need to know about the experiment:

  • Light particles called photons pass through two slits (hence the name).
  • Photons, as researchers predict, form an ordered pattern on a wall. (To help you visualize this, imagine two vertical lines filled with little ‘pellet protons’ shooting onto a screen.)
  • When an observational device (a detector) detects which protons go through which slit, no pattern emerges (no more vertically-aligned pellet protons).
  • In other words, human observation (via a technical apparatus) alters the pattern.
  • The predicted energy pattern, as should be decided by natural law, instead produces no pattern whatsoever.

Anil Ananthaswamy of New Scientist – in a piece called “Classic quantum experiment could conceal theory of everything” explains the experiment and potential ramifications:

Our classical view of the world suggests that photons of light should pass through one slit or the other, and thus create two parallel bands on the screen behind. But instead, the light spreads out onto alternating bands of light and dark … (the) iconic physics experiment may be hiding more than we ever realized about the nature of reality.”

“Quantum Consciousness”

What do the human mind and the Universe have in common?

The answer: two things.

(1) We know relatively little about them.

(2) Quantum vibrations are found in both.

Read that again. It’s important.

While the phrase “correlation does not imply causation” is played on a loop within the scientific community (for a good reason, BTW), there is no denying the relationship between the human mind and universe.

But what is that relationship, exactly?

Back to ‘Orch-OR’

In 1996, Dr. Hameroff and Roger Penrose, mathematician, and physicist, proposed the orchestrated objective reduction theory of consciousness, or the ‘Orch-OR’ theory.

According the Orch-OR theory, consciousness derives itself from tiny protein structures within the brain called microtubules.

On a physiological level, microtubules are the cell’s “conveyor belts.”  They transport cellular resources and materials. Microtubules are also involved in cell division and the structuring of cells.

Microtubules also contain quantum energy.

“The origin of consciousness reflects our place in the universe, the nature of our existence. Did consciousness evolve from complex computations among brain neurons, as most scientists assert? Or has consciousness, in some sense, been here all along, as spiritual approaches maintain?”

Hameroff and Penrose answer their own rhetorical question:

“… our theory accommodates both these views, suggesting consciousness derives from quantum vibrations in microtubules, protein polymers inside brain neurons, which both govern neuronal and synaptic function, and connect brain processes to self-organizing processes in the fine scale, ‘proto-conscious’ quantum structure of reality.”

Bear in mind that the duo published their findings over twenty years ago. Since then, numerous technological advances (e.g., brain imaging and observational apparatuses) have taken place which appears to support Hameroff and Penrose’s theory.

Arch-OR and Death

The law of conservation of energy, resoundingly accepted by scientists, states that “energy can neither be created nor destroyed.”

Energy, however, can change forms. The energy within us must change forms. It’s the ‘law.’

death

Final Thoughts on Death and Quantum Energy

Quantum energy, the intrinsic energy that forms the universe’s very fabric, also resides within us. Indeed, it underscores our deep-rooted connections with the cosmos. This profound realization begs the question: Are we, as sentient beings, the direct manifestations of the Universe itself? Scientists continue to dive into our understanding of mortality through the lens of quantum energy. Thus, their research illuminates our existence’s potential vastness beyond the conventional constraints of life and death.

Do we ‘go home’ after shedding our bodily form, as Hamerof and Penrose seem to suggest? It certainly seems to be food for thought!

Psychologists Explain How To Forgive And Truly Let Go Of The Past

Do you know how to truly forgive someone? The truth is…it’s not as simple as it sounds on the surface.

“When we’ve been treated deeply unfairly by others, we should have the tools to deal with that so the effects of that injustice don’t take hold in an unhealthy way.” ~ Dr. Robert Enright

We all know what it feels like to be wronged by someone.

We’ve all felt the pain of betrayal and the hurt of mistreatment.

Maybe one of the following scenarios happened in your life:

  • A cheating spouse
  • Your parent(s) neglected you.
  • A close friend lied to you.
  • Somebody disowned you.
  • Your peers made fun of you.

These things sucked then, and thinking of them sucks now, albeit to a lesser degree (hopefully).

EMOTIONS TIE TO WRONGDOING

Our reactions to being wronged are different. Some rely on their resolve, “picking up the pieces” (or say so, anyway); some are neutral – perhaps numb; others find it difficult to forgive and forget, or at least move on.

The emotions created from maltreatment can be ingrained into the psyche. The reason for the long-lasting effects of maltreatment is this: our brains are wired to create a memory in proportion to the emotional arousal of the situation. That is why letting go of anger can be so difficult.

Memory champions the world over talk about arousal, which is our brain’s innate tendency to remember things that are emotionally impactful.

Unfortunately, this “brain rule” applies to adverse events – including abuse and trauma. The rule also helps to explain why the emotions associated with maltreatment – anxiety, depression, fear, isolation, insomnia, etc. – may be long-lasting.

When experiencing negative emotions – such as anger, hurt, or sadness – it is essential to your psychological health to resolve them. So while you may not be able to simply “forgive and forget” you do need to figure out how to forgive in a way that helps you to move on. To do so takes time, effort, and emotional capital; but, in the long-term, you’re much better off mentally.

THE POWER OF DECIDING TO FORGIVE – AND WHY IT’S HARD

The act of forgiveness may just be the single most powerful antidote for the pain caused by others.

Forgiveness does not mean that you simply “forgive and forget.” Nor does forgiveness mean that you absolve the person of their actions.

Forgiveness, instead, is letting go of anger, and instead choosing to compassionately release the desire to punish someone or yourself for an offense.

Yes, forgiveness is a choice. Yes, you can forgive yourself. But here’s the thing: while we may accept these statements on the surface, we often have trouble following through on the act of forgiveness – be it forgiving ourselves or someone else.

Why do we have this trouble? Because of our emotions. Because we rationalize things. After all, we are not responsible for their actions.

Maybe not, but you are responsible for yours. You’re responsible for your actions. Plus, you’re solely accountable for your emotions and thoughts.

You’re responsible for mitigating the damage inflicted. Ultimately, you are responsible for forgiveness.

But, even more importantly, you’re responsible for your happiness and peace of mind.

“HOW DO I FORGIVE THEM?”

According to Dr. Robert Enright, a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness, we can implement a four-phase model to help us learn how to forgive ourselves and others.

1. KNOW THAT FORGIVENESS IS POSSIBLE

Before we can learn how to forgive, we must first believe that forgiveness is possible. We must, at a minimum, accept the notion that forgiveness is a feasible solution to the problem.

2. MAKE THE CHOICE TO FORGIVE

“People should not be forced into forgiving,” Enright says, “I think it’s important that people are drawn to it.”

As mentioned, learning how to forgive doesn’t entail excusing someone or forgetting about their past behaviors. Understanding this – and forgiveness’ positive influence on your emotions – allows us to look at forgiveness in the right light.

3. MAKE A LIST

This step works by making a list of everyone – going back to childhood – who has harmed you in some way. After the list is created, prioritize by ordering the names starting with who has hurt you the most.

Start off by forgiving the individuals toward the bottom of the list and make your way up.

Take the time needed to process the emotion; you’ll know when it’s time to move to the next step.

4. EXPOSE THE ANGER

“[This step] is kind of a checklist,” Enright says. “How are you doing in terms of your anger? How have you been denying it? Are you angrier than you thought you were? What are the physical consequences of your anger?”

Enright concludes “Once you look at those effects (of your anger), the question becomes, Do you want to heal?”

5. MAKE THE COMMITMENT

After step 4, you’re ready to commit to the act of forgiveness. “Once people have completed phase one and seen how the effects of the anger have made them unhappy, there’s a tendency to give this a try,” says Enright.

how to forgive and let go

6. CONSIDER THE OTHER PERSON

Now that you know how to forgive, this step is where the “work” of forgiving starts. It involves thinking about the person in a new way. Were they hurt in any way? If so, did their hurt possibly contribute to yours?

7. ACKNOWLEDGE THE OTHER PERSON’S HUMANITY

“You were both born, you will both die, you both bleed when you’re cut, you both have unique DNA and when you die there will never be another person like you. And given the humanity that you share with this person, is it possible that they might be just as special, unique, and irreplaceable as you are?” asks Enright.

8. SOFTENING YOUR HEART

Knowingly or unknowingly, the other person’s actions have hardened your heart a bit. Eventually, if you practice the type of forgiveness prescribed by Dr. Enright, you should begin to feel the healthy release and letting go of anger.

“It’s a tiny glimmering of compassion,” Enright states.

9. TAKE THE PAIN

It’s normal to feel strong emotions at this point. Enright says that there’s a dose of pain involved; but that this pain ultimately allows us to move on.

“(Pain) builds self-esteem because you’re saying, ‘If I can see the humanity in the one who didn’t see the humanity in me, and if I can soften my heart to the one who didn’t to me, then who am I as a person? I’m stronger than I thought.”

10. REFLECT AND DISCOVER

“Typically, people are more aware of the wounds in the world,” says Enright. “They become more patient with people who might be having a bad day; they see the people are walking around wounded all the time, and they’re generally more aware of others’ pain and want to be a conduit for good.”

There’s certainly a reflection period involved when the pain passes. You realize: (a) you’re stronger, and (b) you’re happier.

11. REPEAT THE PROCESS

Know how you started out with a list? Well, after a certain period, it’s time to get back after it.

how to forgiveFINAL THOUGHTS ON LEARNING TO FORGIVE

Sooner than you think, you’ll have forgiven the people who’ve hurt you. You will release the anger pent up inside of you. More importantly, you’ll enjoy a happier, stronger, more fulfilling life.

7 Habits of a Toxic Relationship (That People Think Are Healthy)

Relationships can be a lot of work. While most of the time, relationships should be healthy and supportive, it’s still two people working together to create something. This means that not all relationships end up being healthy. Moreover, it’s sometimes hard to pinpoint exactly when a relationship is not healthy. In fact, several toxic traits and habits happen in an unhealthy relationship. However, most people seem to think they are healthy behaviors.

Understanding what is and isn’t toxic in a relationship means you’ll be able to see when parts of your relationship or others are no longer healthy. It’s also great to see the toxic parts and work to change them so your relationship becomes healthy again.

Here Are 7 Habits Of Toxic Relationships That Are Not Healthy

Healthy relationships nourish and support us. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is like poison to us — instead of lifting us up, it makes us feel worse,” says marriage & family therapist and author Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT.

1. Conflict mistaken for passion is toxic

In many movies and television shows, the conflict between love interests is often mistaken as passion. In turn, the false notion can lead real people in their day-to-day lives to mistake conflict in their relationship as passion. Arguments and disagreements in relationships are standard, but screaming matches and everyday fighting isn’t.

Psychologist Harriet Lerner states, “Remember that happy couples are not couples that don’t fight. Rather they’re couples that fight fair and take responsibility for their own words and actions, no matter how furious they may feel inside.”

People seeking out conflict in their relationship for intense reconciliation are often addicted to the dopamine they get after the fight is over. Of course, this is unhealthy for both partners.

2. Keeping the peace

It seems healthy to want to make sure your relationship stays peaceful, and no one gets upset. But if that comes at the cost of talking honestly to your partner about your feelings, and having to keep things to yourself to avoid arguments, then it’s an incredibly toxic habit that needs to be broken.

Ridiculing or humiliating each other is not a good idea, or a good omen. But if you can both talk honestly about what irritates or upsets you and why, you are more likely to understand each other better. It can feel easier to avoid being honest if we feel that could be hurtful, but it is only with honesty that trust is built, and trust is the essence of a good relationship,” says author Kate Figes.

Ignoring problems in a relationship in order to avoid conflict will only mean that the problems pile up until they can no longer be ignored – and by then, it might be too hard to fix.

3. Keeping score

Wanting your relationship to be equal is a good step to ensuring it stays healthy. However, if you or your partner seem always to be keeping track of what you do, versus what they do … this is keeping score, and a way to create pressure and conflict where there should only be teamwork. A relationship is like a partnership, so rather than keeping score, partners should sit down together and work out a plan on things like chores or bills, and who does or pays what. It’s a great way to ensure the relationship is equal, without falling back on toxic habits.

4. Tit-for-tat is a toxic (and childish) game

When our partners tell us that something is bothering them or something that we did upset them, it’s natural to want to defend ourselves. Unfortunately, this sometimes leads to us telling our partners something equally wrong that they did to upset us – instead of listening to what they have to say.

Couples counselor David Waters says, “According to research, people who sneer, ridicule or talk down to their partner are on a fast track to relationship destruction.

If your partner comes to you with something that you did that upset them, listening to what they have to say and talking through it is more important than defending yourself – or trying to come up with something worse than they did.

toxic relationship

5. Never fighting is toxic

While most people think never fighting is the best way to have a relationship, it’s simply not feasible. There doesn’t need to be shouting matches or arguments every day, but having two people with two sets of values, opinions and thoughts mean that disagreements are bound to happen. When you have two people who never fight, you have two people who aren’t being entirely honest with one another. It’s okay to argue, as long as you do so fairly.

Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness. Together, they’re known as the ‘Four Horsemen of Divorce,” says Sean M. Horan, Ph.D., assistant professor of communication, Texas State University.

6. Needing to be “completed”

Another person is not supposed to “complete” anyone else. We are not people with holes inside of us. We are whole, complete people already. When we think that we need someone else, especially a romantic partner, to complete us and make us whole, it shows an unhealthy dependency on another person.

Couple’s therapist Matt Lundquist, LCSW says, “You are my everything’ is a lousy pop-song lyric and an even worse relationship plan. No one can be ‘everything’ to anyone. Create relationships outside The Relationship, or The Relationship isn’t going to work anymore.”

Placing that much importance on your partner to make you a whole and complete person means that your partner will feel too much pressure to stay with you, even if things aren’t working.

7. Jealousy is toxic

Everyone thinks feeling jealous is supposed to be sexy or romantic. But being jealous is a toxic behavior. We can’t control our feelings, and sometimes we get jealous over things. But it’s important not to express that jealousy in a way that can hurt our partners, or in a way that’s toxic and upsetting.

Professional matchmaker and dating coach Bonnie Winston says, “One sign your relationship is toxic is that you are filled with jealousy. You stalk [their] social media accounts looking at [their] friends and contacts and wonder about each pretty face [they’re] connected to. Jealousy is NOT a healthy emotion.

It’s okay to express how you’re feeling. But you must recognize that it’s not healthy behavior and that it needs to be changed.

Final thoughts

All relationships take work! Even ones that sometimes display habits that seem to be healthy but are in reality, toxic. Understanding and recognizing these behaviors is the first step to changing the dynamic of the relationship. In turn, you can get things set on the right path.

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/toxic-relationships/201703/is-your-relationship-toxic

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201306/beware-mistaken-marriage-advice-all-couples-fight
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/relationship-advice-and-romance/11016984/Relationship-advice-five-experts-reveal-the-secrets-to-long-term-love.html
https://greatist.com/play/best-relationship-advice
https://www.bustle.com/p/is-my-relationship-toxic-11-signs-to-look-out-for-according-to-experts-74392

7 Signs Your Partner Wants to Spend Their Life With You

Falling in love feels amazing. But relationships demand much hard work. Especially when a relationship is new, many people often wonder whether this wonderful moment of life will last. Even relationships that have lasted for quite some time can have insecurities of whether or not the relationship is meant to last.

Author Kate Figes says, “One of the more ridiculous myths about “true love” is the idea of the soulmate – that there is someone out there who is your perfect match. A good relationship is about navigating the numerous differences between you – over politics, food, money, how to raise children. It’s those differences that make life more interesting, as our lover opens up a whole new way of seeing or understanding the world.

Fortunately, many people show some sign that they want to be with their partner forever. If you’re wondering how long your relationship will last, look at these signs that your partner wants to be with you for as long as possible.

7 Signs Your Partner Wants To Spend Their Life With You

life

“True love is not the number of kisses, or how often you get them; true love is the feeling that still lingers long after the kiss is over.” – Anonymous

1. They put your life needs first and theirs last

Of course, sometimes we have to put ourselves first because things in our lives are extremely important. But when your partner wants to be with you forever, they will make sure to put you first when it’s practical for them to do so.

Dating expert James Preece says, “If he chooses to see you rather than spend time with his friends, you know things are going well. If he’s willing to adjust his schedule to fit in time with you, then that’s even better. He loves being with you and feels most comfortable when you are together.

They sacrifice things for you, and put your needs ahead of theirs. It shows that they want to be with you, and care about your needs.

2. They understand you

When your partner wants to be with you, they try to understand you. It’s not that they understand you magically without having to try – they put in the effort to understand your thoughts, emotions, opinions, and desires. They understand you on a level like no other, and they’re the only person who wants to understand you as deeply as they do. Being understood is a universally amazing feeling, especially by your partner.

3. Being with them is so easy that you know the love will last for life

Your relationship is full of laughter, love and fun. There’s no drama or games. Your partner communicates with you and makes it feel like being with them is easy. While it may almost feel too easy to be with him, you know that there’s no way you would trade that feeling for the world. It doesn’t mean that you never argue – just that your relationship lacks drama and upset.

Dating coach Patrick Banks summed it up pretty well. He notes, “There’s nothing more liberating than being in a relationship where you don’t have to wear a façade every time you meet. I mean, think about it, having to hide an annoying habit or two from your partner might seem like a minor hindrance in the short-term, but in the long haul it can end up driving you mad.

true love

4. They think the same way you do

While your thoughts and opinions don’t always align the same way, they’re complementary. They have the same way of thinking and values as you. You never feel afraid of telling your partner something or expressing an opinion because you know they accept and understand you. You can often give them a look and know exactly what they’re thinking.

Professor of psychology Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., says, “For long-lasting love, the more similarity (e.g., age, education, values, personality, hobbies), the better. Although other differences can be accommodated and tolerated, a difference in values is particularly problematic if the goal is long-lasting love.

5. You trust them with all your heart

Your partner wanting to be with you means that they’ll never do anything to betray your trust, which means that you trust him with everything. You trust your partner to be genuine with you, and you trust your partner to keep all of your thoughts and secrets to themselves. The trust is, of course, mutual. You trust one another to be kind, supportive, and affectionate for the rest of your life together.

6. They make you feel comfortable

Your partner makes you feel a sense of comfort that you’ve never really known before. You feel relaxed and at home with them wherever you are. Even when you’re having a horrible day, your partner can make you feel like you’re on top of the world. They’re the exact person you want to see after a hard day, and you feel relaxed whenever you’re with them.

7. They make you better

More than this, they challenge you to become a better person for the rest of your life. They encourage you to be stronger, more courageous, kind, and attentive to the needs of yourself and the people around you.

One of the greatest things about being in a healthy long-term relationship is that while you both accept each other for who you are, you aren’t shy about pushing your significant other to constantly improve themselves. You see, couples who never grow as individuals and human beings usually end up boring the hell out of each other until there’s no spark left in the relationship,” adds dating coach Banks.

You grow together to be stronger, better people without feeling judged or criticized. This is how you know that your partner is aiming to be with you forever.

life

Final Thoughts on Finding a Partner for Life

No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, wanting to know if your partner plans on being with you is a natural feeling. When your partner plans to be with you forever, your relationship will have all the work and effort it needs to put into it. Your partner will communicate with you, make sure you can trust them, and make you feel like you’ve never felt before. That’s how you know that your partner wants to be together forever.

Science Explains 4 Reasons to Never Spank Children

Did you know that by law, parents cannot spank children in 53 countries?

Perhaps the most complete dissolution of child punishment comes from the United Nations (UN). The global organization, consisting of 193 countries, determined via the “UN Convention on the Rights of the Child” treaty that corporal punishment (read: spanking, hitting, or otherwise) violates human rights.

To date, 53 UN member states have prohibited most forms of corporal violence against children. 56 member states have pledged a commitment to full prohibition.

Those who faced the hand, stick, or belt may scoff at the notion that “all spanking is bad.”

But scientists and mental health experts may just have a point. Mainly that spanking isn’t in the long-term interest of our youngsters.

In this article, we’ll delve into the latest scientific and psychological findings about the corporal punishment of children.

The only suggested prerequisite is approaching this all-important subject with an open mind. (There is some common ground, after all!)

“Corporal punishment of children is a violation of their rights to respect for their human dignity and physical integrity. Its widespread legality breaches their right to equal protection under the law.” ~ The Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children

Why You Should Never Spank Your Children, According to Science…

spank

“Detrimental child outcomes.”

In an article published in the Journal of Family Psychology, researchers set out to address two persistent issues; perhaps the most important being whether the psychological impacts of spanking is comparable with those of physical abuse.

Scientists evaluated over 100 studies representing over 160,000 children to make this determination. Of the 17 standard psychological outcomes of physical abuse, spanking was observed in 13.

Elizabeth Gershoff, an associate professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas at Austin, states:

“We found that spanking was associated with unintended detrimental outcomes and was not associated with more immediate or long-term compliance, which are parents’ intended outcomes when they discipline their children.”

In other words, not only did spanking not affect obedience, the punishment contributed to “increased anti-social behavior, aggression, mental health problems and cognitive difficulties.”

“You can not punish out these behaviors…”

Alan Kazdin, Ph.D., and Sterling Professor of Psychology and Child Psychiatry at Yale University states: “You cannot punish out the behaviors that you do not want,” therefore, “There is no need for corporal punishment based on the research.”

Kazdin concludes his findings in a bluntly straightforward manner:

“We are not giving up an effective technique. We are saying that (spanking) is a horrible thing that does not work.”

Physical punishment, including spanking, may work in the short term. This effect is relatively simple to explain. That’s because children fear a parent hitting them. The result doesn’t last.

The reason that spanking doesn’t work long-term, according to Kazdin, is that children don’t possess a developed punishment/reward mechanism (the byproduct of a maturing brain.) Hence, the child is unable to alter behaviors following physical punishment.

Are spankers unknowingly feeding a violent streak?

A 2011 study published in Child Abuse and Neglect concludes that spanking may result in an “intergenerational cycle of violence in homes” where physical punishment occurs. In other words, parents may unknowingly create a perpetual cycle of physical violence.

Researchers involved in the study interviewed parents and children aged 3 to 7 from over 100 families. Research analysis concludes that physically punishing children are more likely to embrace physical violence to resolve conflicts with peers.

Researchers warn against the absence of “immediate negative effects of spanking.”

“A child doesn’t get spanked and then run out and rob a store,” says Dr. Gershoff. However, “there are indirect changes in how the child thinks (and feels) about things.”

A Dissenting Opinion

Popular dissent on this issue of whether or not to spank a child

Robert Larzelere, an Oklahoma State University professor specializing in parental discipline, disagrees with the premise surrounding much of the abovementioned research.

“The studies do not discriminate well between non-abusive and overly severe types of corporal punishment. You get worse outcomes from corporal punishment than from alternative disciplinary techniques only when it is used more severely or as the primary discipline tactic.”

Larzelere – and many others – are proponents of conditional spanking. That term refers to other forms of youth discipline – including the temporary restriction of privileges (e.g., play time), time-bound punishment (timeout), and effective communication between child and parent.

spank

Final Thoughts on Whether It’s Abusive to Spank

“Proper” methods of youth discipline may never fully reach a majority consensus. Conservative estimates cite that two out of every three parents in the United States prioritize spanking as a form of discipline.

Interestingly, both sides of the spanking debate agree that spanking should not serve as the principal source of discipline.

Food for thought!

Sources:
http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx

http://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ffam0000191
http://www.sciencealert.com/science-why-you-should-never-spank-children
https://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers

5 Surprising Things Women Don’t Know About Their Own Bodies

“Until you destroy your body, you don’t learn to appreciate it. Treat the body like a temple because the body is so beautiful. If and when you understand your body then you will respect it. The body is like a bud, until the sun rises it will not bloom; until it blooms it will not be beautiful. So respect it, take care of it.” ~ Bikram Choudhury

The female form is an incredibly beautiful and marvelous creation.

Leonardo DaVinci, arguably history’s greatest artist and polymath once said: “The smallest feline is a masterpiece.” DaVinci, who was thought to be gay, featured women – including women and their children – in many of his art pieces. The Mona Lisa, naturally, is his most famous work.

The female body is also very complex and multi-faceted. So intricately complicated, in fact, that many women aren’t aware of a few things!

Here are five things many women don’t know about their bodies, according to female experts:

1. Women require specific nutrients

Dr. Arielle Levitan, co-author of The Vitamin Solution: Two Doctors Clear the Confusion about Vitamins and Your Health, says “Most women don’t know that they are in need of certain nutrients. Vitamin D, for example, is a vitamin found mainly in sunlight and not in many food sources.”

Most women are also iron-deficient, the result of continuous menstrual cycles and/or pregnancies. Contributing to the pervasiveness of iron-deficiency among women is that many do not eat red meat, which is a primary food source of the nutrient.

Iron-deficiency may lead to symptoms such as fatigue, low energy, migraines, muscles aches and thinning of the hair.

Meats rich in iron include beef, fish, and poultry. Good plant sources include dried beans, lentils, and peas.

2. Female skin dehydrates quickly

Women are very prone to dehydration of the skin. There are a couple of reasons for this; first, baths and showers are an essential – and often overused – component of most women’s skin care regimen.

But submerging your skin for prolonged amounts of time is counterproductive. “Taking long, hot showers is actually bad for your skin – hot water softens the oils in your skin so that they are easily washed away, thus making it easier for your skin to dry out or become itchy,” says dermatologist Dr.  Kathy Taghipour.

Limiting sun exposure, turning the water temperature down, and limiting contact with hot water can help with skin dehydration.

3. Women are disposed to anxiety

Females have naturally higher levels of cortisol (a stress hormone), progesterone (a pregnancy-normalizing hormone), and estradiol (a natural steroid). As a result of these chemicals – and their effect on women’s hormones and neurochemistry – they are twice as likely as men to experience an anxiety disorder.

Dr. Kimberly Hershenson, a therapist based in New York City, provides some recommendations for dealing with anxiety. “Make a daily gratitude list (by) writing down ten things you are grateful for.” Hershenson also recommends practicing both meditation and acceptance.

“Make a list of what you can control in the situation causing you anxiety (your reaction) and what you can’t control (other’s behavior).” If anxiety levels become extremely disruptive to daily living, it’s advisable to seek out medical assistance, therapy, or a support group.

4. Menstruation misinformation!

Experts state that many women often don’t possess the necessary knowledge pertaining to their menstrual cycles.

More specifically, many women are unaware that menstruation isn’t a ‘cleansing’ response of the body. Furthermore, says Noni Ayana, a sex education therapist and consultant, “…the menstrual cycle is not exclusive to the time your period begins and ends; it is a 28 day (or so) process.”

Many women are also unaware that their body is continuously preparing itself for pregnancy, and the extent to which developments during pregnancy impact their bodies.

5. You’re stronger than you think!

Unfortunately, women continue to face discrimination in many parts of the world – including in developed countries. The United States Congress, for example, passed the ‘Equal Pay Act’ more than five decades ago. Yet, women continue to earn just 79 cents for every dollar a man does.

Our world necessitates that women have a strong backbone – and fortunately, they do!

Look no further than Washington D.C., where women all over America continue to fight for their constitutional rights.

The 115th Congress consists of 21 female Senators – the highest in history.

And, of course, Americans nominated the first female for President in 2016.

Keep the first going, ladies! It all starts with a thorough understanding of your body and mind!

Sources:
http://www.businessinsider.com/gender-wage-pay-gap-charts-2017-3

http://www.thelist.com/68206/things-women-dont-know-bodies/
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