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Why You Should Never Hold Your Bladder, According to Science

Our bladder is a fluid storage organ that sits within the pelvis. While roughly the size of a large grapefruit, it can stretch from two to over six inches in length. The primary function of the bladder is to store urine produced by the kidneys. Urine transfers to the bladder from the kidneys following a blood filtration process. Urine then moves from the ureters to the bladder for storage until you eliminate it.

The bladder is connected to the kidneys through two long tubes called ureters and is capable of holding 16 to 24 ounces of fluid. The “urge” to urinate is felt when the bladder is about 25 percent full.bladder

Diseases and conditions

The bladder, despite widespread perception, is a highly complex organ. Consisting of four separate layers – made up of connective tissue, blood vessels, fibrous tissue, and muscle – the most commonly-cited problems involve the frequent urge to urinate and involuntary urine leakage.

An overactive bladder is another common disorder and isstems from wide range of conditions, including constipation, excess caffeine usage, and other causes. Urine leakage may be caused by bladder spasms or stress.

Cystitis, or bladder infections, are one of the most common bacterial infections. It’s estimated that around one-third of all females acquire a bladder infection at least once in their lifetime.

Bladder cancer affects around 580,000 people in the United States, according to the National Cancer Institute. Cancer of the bladder primarily affects older adults.

Holding your bladder

Sometimes we have no choice but to hold urine, but it’s probably not good for bladder health.

Here are a few reasons why:

A healthy bladder can hold one and a half to two cups (300-400 milliliters) of urine during the day and about four cups (800 milliliters) at night. It is normal to pass urine five or six times a day if you drink between 6-8 glasses of fluid. ~ Continence Foundation of Australia

1. Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)

When we make a habit of holding urine too long, it inevitably puts pressure on the kidneys. If you’re a female, your chance of developing a UTI is as high as 50 percent. Women are at a higher risk of a UTI because they have shorter urethras, which need only to travel a short distance to the bladder.

Now, holding urine is not the direct cause of UTI. But if we habitually delay emptying the bladder, the risk of infection increases. Symptoms of UTI include mild fever, cloudy or bloody urine, and an urge to urinate.

2. Interstitial Cystitis (IC)

Holding your urine may irritate the bladder’s lining, a condition known as interstitial cystitis. While many health experts aren’t for sure that delaying urination is the cause, some doctors believe it increases the risk of developing IC.

Symptoms of IC include a painful pelvis and frequent urination.

3. Disturbances of the urine response

The bladder is responsible for signaling to the brain that it’s time to answer nature’s call. When we continuously delay urination, this automatic feedback mechanism that sends the signal may become faulty.

As a result, though our bladder is reaching its maximum throughput, the brain doesn’t correctly register and translate the bladder’s signal.

Which leads to this:

4. Peeing your pants

Hey, it happens more often than you think. If our brain doesn’t recognize a stimulus, we aren’t consciously aware of what we need to do. Namely, go to the bathroom.

Or, make headway to the bathroom in enough time to take care of business.

Lauren Streicher, M.D. and OB/GYN, says “As your bladder gets fuller and fuller, there’s a good chance you aren’t going to make it to the bathroom on time.”

Uh, yeah. Don’t pee yourself.

Holding for a short period is okay

Dr. Adam Ramin, a urologic surgeon and founder of Urology Cancer Specialists in Los Angeles, California warns against holding urine:

“Holding your urine for a short period of time, usually up to one hour, is typically okay.” Said Ramin. “However protracted and repeated holding of urine may cause over-expansion of bladder capacity, transmission of excess pressure into the kidneys, and the inability to completely empty the bladder. These problems, in turn, may lead to UTI [urinary tract infection], cystitis and deterioration of kidney function.”

Determining urine health

Dr. Michael Robinette, a urologist at Toronto General Hospital, says there are several ways to determine a healthy urine color.

“Healthy urine is a pale yellow. If your urine is white, you’re drinking too many fluids. However, if your urine is too dark, your urine is concentrated, and you should be drinking more fluids.” he says.

We should aim for seven to eight 16-ounce glasses of water daily. An excellent piece of advice: make sure there’s a water bottle within arm’s reach. If you haven’t already, consider buying a separate water bottle for every place you spend a considerable amount of time, e.g., your workplace.


5 Early Warning Signs of Appendicitis

All of us experience this misfortunate of an upset stomach. Still, we each contend with bouts of abdominal pain, diarrhea, vomiting, or constipation (gross maybe, but true!). But do you know how to tell if it’s a common stomachache or appendicitis?

Appendicitis is not very common – with only about 5 percent of the U.S. population developing the condition. Those who have will tell you just how painful an inflamed appendix can be. (If this includes you, please feel free to share your story by leaving a comment below!)

Appendicitis is also a severe condition. Jennifer Caudle, D.O., a family physician, and professor of medicine says:

“If it is not treated, your appendix can rupture, which can be life-threatening.”

With that said, here are 5 signs of possible appendix troubles you shouldn’t ignore:

“In the United States, appendicitis is the most common cause of acute (short-term) abdominal pain requiring surgery. Over 5% of the population develops appendicitis at some point.” ~ National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases

Indeed, not every case of appendicitis leads to a ruptured appendix, delaying medical assistance significantly increases this risk.

1. It feels like the worst stomach pain of your life.

No, this isn’t an exaggeration. Appendicitis can feel like the worst stomach pain of your life.

Usually, this pain expands from the belly button to the lower-right side of the abdomen. (The appendix is a 3.5-inch tube that lies in the lower-right section of the large intestine.) When pain surfaces in this area, the abdominal wall may be inflamed.

Prolonged, severe stomach pain is never a good sign. Whether or not it’s appendicitis, it’s essential that you seek medical attention.

2. You have no appetite, or are nauseous and throwing up. 

Dr. Dan Gingold, an emergency physician at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore, Maryland, states “Inflammation of the appendix sometimes impacts other aspects of the GI tract … and leads to nausea and vomiting.”

Not everyone with appendicitis experiences these symptoms, but experiencing abdominal pain while feeling nauseous and throwing up necessitates a visit to the emergency room.

3. You’ve got a nasty case of brain fog.

Appendicitis can affect the nervous system, which may lead to foggy thinking, confusion, and fatigue. Lack of focus, poor memory, and diminished cognitive abilities are the primary signs of brain fog.

Dr. Gingold explains the brain fog effect: “It’s not that anything is going on in the brain – just that the infection is getting worse and expending a lot of body resources including oxygen, so the brain doesn’t get enough and doesn’t work normally.”

4. You’re shaking all over while running a fever. 

The presence of both chills and fever indicates there’s inflammation somewhere in your body. Chills and fever while feeling severe pain in the abdomen may point to appendicitis.

Cedrek McFadden, M.D., a board-certified GI surgeon at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine, says when experiencing appendicitis, “the body responds by releasing several chemicals that ring the alarm and bring fighter cells to the area, which can manifest as localized pain as well as whole-body symptoms like fever and chills.”

5. You’re going to the bathroom every couple of minutes – and it hurts.

For some people, the appendix is situated right next to the bladder in the lower abdomen; as such, inflammation of the appendix can both inflame and irritate the bladder, resulting in the need to pee – and then pee again.

Not only do you have to pee a lot, but it hurts when you go. The only two possible explanations are a urinary tract infection (UTI) or appendicitis. Either way, a trip to the hospital is in order.

Sources:
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/digestive-diseases/appendicitis/definition-facts

https://www.prevention.com/health/5-warning-signs-your-appendix-might-burst/slide/5

8 Habits That Make You Age Faster (And How to Fix It)

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you tap into this source, you will truly have defeated age.” ~ Sophia Loren

Interesting fact: The Anti-Aging Market topped $250 billion in the year 2016. It’s estimated that the market will continue to grow at a rate of six percent year-over-year.

Another interesting fact: Most people are wasting their money.

Aging is a natural biochemical process of the body. Until we can “hack” into those little things called cells, we’re going to get old.

Until that time, people will likely continue to spend $50,000 on a facelift, inject themselves with toxins, and gladly turn their face into a birthday cake.

We’re a far cry from a legitimate Fountain of Youth.

It seems that many of these folks have never heard the phrase “Prevention is the best medicine.”

While we’ll (probably) never be able to completely and successfully reverse the aging process, there are things we can do to help counteract the effects of aging.

There are also things we can stop doing – this requires understanding the things that expedite the effects of aging.

With this knowledge, we can proactively improve our health, experience more happiness, and live a more positive, satisfying life!

So without further ado …

8 Things That Make You Age Faster

1. High Blood Pressure

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, over 75 million Americans – or one of every three adults – have high blood pressure.

Statistically, blood pressure tends to spike between the ages of 55 to 64 and slowly increases from then onward. This is problematic, as high blood pressure is linked with an increased risk of coronary disease, heart attacks, and heart failure.

Tips:

– Lose those extra few pounds.

– Aim for 30 minutes of light to moderate exercise daily.

– Eat a well-balanced, healthy diet.

– Reduce salt intake.

– Limit alcohol.

2. Being Overweight

Scientists at the University of Edinburg analyzed the genetic information of more than 600,000 people from 25 different studies across Australia, Europe, and North America.

The researchers discovered that every kilogram (2.2 pounds) of extra weight carried reduced life expectancy by roughly two months. Simple math time: 12 months/2.2 = 5.45 pounds.

Translation: Being overweight by just 5 pounds may take a year off of your life.

Tips:

– Schedule a physical examination to rule out any underlying conditions (e.g., thyroid disorders).

– Create a meal plan that consists of fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein.

– Find a workout regimen that works for you. Engaging in physical activity that interests you (biking, basketball, tennis, etc.) is the best way to stick with a workout routine!

3. Smoking

Per the same study by the University of Edinburg, “cigarette smoking and traits associated with lung cancer had the greatest impact on shortening lifespan.”

Smoking the equivalent of a pack of cigarettes a day reduces life expectancy by an average of 7 years.

Tips:

– Research smoking cessation programs if you need help.

– If you can’t quit cold-turkey, try cutting back slowly.

– Exercise and meditation are two activities that may help reduce cravings.

4. A Highly Stressful Job

Listen, most of us aren’t doing what we love. According to various surveys, job dissatisfaction hovers around 70 percent in the U.S.

But there’s a gaping difference between an irksome sense of job discontent and ceaselessly hating your job.

According to researchers from Indiana University, “people who have little decision-making ability in demanding jobs have a 15.4% increase in mortality compared to those in less demanding jobs.”

Tips:

– Evaluate your current level of job-related stress.

– Start looking for a new job, if necessary.

– Learn basic mindfulness and deep breathing techniques (This will help!)

5. High cholesterol levels

Your DNA influences your blood cholesterol levels; but while you can’t alter your genetic makeup, you can be proactive about keeping these markers within an acceptable range.

Tips:

– Increase dietary fiber intake.

– Eat foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids.

– Eliminate trans fats.

– Increase protein intake.

6. Willful Ignorance

While the sixth item on our list may seem irrelevant, there’s something to be said about the adverse effects of enabling an idle mind.

According to a 2015 study published in the journal PLOS One, “Mortality (due) to low education is comparable (to) individuals being current rather than former smokers.”

Having less than a high school diploma was found to be the most significant risk factor.

Tips:

– Keep your mind active through reading.

– Consider a brain training program.

– Take a free online course on something of interest to you.

– Advance your formal education, if desired.

7. Discontentment

Ecological momentary assessment (EMA) “assesses a person’s current experiences, behaviors, and moods as they occur in real time and in their natural environment.” Many behavioral scientists state that EMA is among the most precise measurements of a person’s well-being.

Relatedly, in a study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), scientists used the EMA to evaluate 3,853 individuals aged 52 to 79 years.

Those whose scored the quantitative equivalent of “not happy” had a “death rate” of 7.3% – nearly double of those reported a more positive mindset.

Tips:

– Sit down, with yourself or someone else, and think about/discuss the sources of your happiness – or lack thereof.

– Keep a simple gratitude journal, where you write three things that you’re grateful for every day.

– Seek out support – in whatever form (medical, spiritual, otherwise) that’s right for you.

8. Lack of Self-Care

The last item on our list is intentionally broad in scope.

The truth is that none of us know what’s best for someone else. Well-being is a highly subjective thing – just look at the self-help section at your local bookstore!

But deep down, all of us – whether or not we admit it to ourselves – have a pretty good answer to the question “How am I doing?”

Trying to prescribe a one-size-fits-all solution to the neverending list that is “life’s problems” is a futile (not to mention, depressing) endeavor.

So, in closing, please take care of yourself. If you don’t feel right, swallow your pride and seek out some help. Sit down, close your eyes and meditate. Get good at deep breathing.

Most importantly, cultivate and grow your positive natural energy! Believe us; it’s there!

Sources:
http://www.cdc.gov/bloodpressure/facts.htm
http://fortune.com/2016/10/17/job-stress-early-death/
http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0131809#ack
http://www.pnas.org/content/108/45/18244
https://www.ed.ac.uk/news/2017/learning-and-staying-in-shape-key-to-longer-lifesp
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/high-blood-pressure/in-depth/high-blood-pressure/art-20046974
https://www.reuters.com/brandfeatures/venture-capital/article?id=11480

6 Proven Ways to Make A Great First Impression

There exist specific rules of engagement when it comes to making a solid first impression.

Let’s consider a job interview – a situation where first impressions are critical. You already know what to do: dress the part, watch your body language, and hold some knowledge about the company and job role.

But there’s a difference between  – not only making a good impression – but keeping it.

Let’s revisit the job interview from a different perspective – the interviewers.

After a while, interviewers must “get smart” when it comes to doing away with the B.S. people throw at them – or risk having their judgment called into question.

They’ve had to learn the hard way, namely through getting duped by people making a “great first impression” only to disappoint.

The point is if we’re going to keep a solid foundation of people at our side – friends and colleagues, intimate partners, and others –  then we must understand and put into practice something called “impression management.”

Impression management is defined as “a conscious or subconscious process in which people attempt to influence the perception of (others) … by regulating and controlling information in social interaction.”

In this article, we will narrow down some of the best advice from impression management experts that can help us in our day-to-day relationships. If you commit to – and properly execute – these seven methods of impression management, you’ll enhance your ability to impress and influence people in the long run.

6 Ways to Make A Great First Impression

impression

“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” ~ Will Rogers

1. Mind your body language

We are always communicating, whether or not our lips are forming words. Has anyone ever asked you “what’s wrong” when there was nothing? That’s a perfect example.

We’re always sending messages. Communication is continuously sent and received from the words we speak and our tone of voice – to our body language, such as posture and facial expressions.

Mind your body language.

2. Be respectful to make a great first impression

Respect goes a long way, especially in a society where everyone seems to look out for numero uno.”

Being disrespectful always comes back around. Look at the proliferation of sexual harassment claims against politicians and actors to see this karma in action.

At work, failure to be respectful can get you fired. In your relationships, disrespect can get you dumped.

And so on.

The bottom line: regarding impression management, r-e-s-p-e-c-t is the fundamental building block.

3. Be open-minded

Despite all of the world’s problems, we’re living in perhaps the most learned age in history. The democratization of knowledge and education has led to people worldwide being more informed.

Studies have repeatedly demonstrated the link between education and a more egalitarian world view.

Be fair, even-minded, and mature. Listen to others’ perspectives even if they don’t align with yours. Instead of ridiculing an idea you interpret as unworkable, take the time to listen and understand.

4. Embrace humanity to make a good first impression

Listen, we’re living in some troubling times. North Korea, climate change, and the threat of nuclear proliferation… all of these things are bothersome.

But there’s a whole lot of good going on in the world, too.

Why doesn’t the media talk more about these things? Because human beings possess something called a ‘negativity bias,’ where we pay more attention to bad events than good ones. More viewers = higher ratings = more advertisements = more money.

So just when you’re about to fall into a rabbit hole of negativity, search and find some good in the world!

5. Keep your word

Remain true to your word unless there’s an excellent reason. People who say what they mean, mean what they say, and let their actions do the talking always seem to remain in the good graces of others.

Be on time for appointments. Pay people what they’re owed. Don’t make false promises. Do what’s right even if it requires some sacrifice or discomfort.

Holding others accountable for their word is also applicable.

make good impression

6. Speak up

So many people have informative and insightful things to add but choose not to for whatever reason. That’s difficult for introverts – but very necessary.

But people can’t hold you in a positive light if you refuse to engage. Worse, the shy ones are often overlooked because people aren’t aware of their abilities!

Don’t be overly concerned with people’s reactions, either. As long as you remain positive, polite, and conscientious, most people will listen to what you have to say!

10 Reasons Strong Women Handle Relationships Differently

Strong women know more than anything else that taking care of themselves is a must and to not look upon anyone else to swoop in and save the day for them. They have been battle-tested and learned what independence truly means.

Strong women have never known what’s it like to need anyone because they had to fend for themselves at a young age. Any strong woman you meet has had a few crappy hands dealt to her in life, but she’s risen above like the champion she is at heart, not allowing one misstep or misfortune to hold her down.

Strong women are fierce, courageous, resilient, and beautiful. If you’re the lucky guy or gal who gets to call her yours, you will keep the following points in mind to know what to expect in your relationship with your strong sweetheart.

“I believe in strong women, I believe in the woman who is able to stand up for herself, I believe in the woman who doesn’t need to hide behind her husband’s back. I believe that if you have problems, as a woman you deal with them, you don’t play victim, you don’t make yourself look pitiful, you don’t point fingers. You stand and you deal. You face the world with a head held high and you carry the universe in your heart.”  – C. JoyBell C.

10 Reasons Strong Women Approach Relationships Differently

strong women

1. They aren’t looking for a relationship to save them

No, they learned as a child that no one would come to save them – they had to save themselves. They never enjoyed relying on anyone for anything, so why start now?

The person there for them at the end of the day was always staring back at them in the mirror before they laid their head down at night, so they see no reason to give that duty to someone else.

In relationships, strong women do not view you as a means to an end – a way to become more financially or emotionally stable, cure themselves of loneliness, etc. They don’t have any ulterior motive for being with you, so you don’t have to worry.

A relationship with a strong woman has a lot more security because you don’t have to walk on eggshells around her to keep her happy. You don’t have to bring home a six-figure income to satisfy her, and you don’t have to babysit her emotions. There is security and freedom in a relationship with a woman who needs no hero to save her.

2. Strong women know what they want

Because of this, they don’t approach relationships the same way those who are just wading in the dating pool might. They dive right in and know their target long before hitting the water. In other words, these women have been hurt before and know what to look for in a mate.

They’ve had experience with the types of people they DON’T want, so they know exactly what they do want. They don’t waste their life in dead-end relationships; you’ll know if they feel the vibe with you. If not, she’ll let you know early so you both don’t waste your time.

3. They view relationships as an equal partnership

They don’t seek out a partner to get anything out of them. Instead, they seek someone to add value to their life. They only want someone who will lift them up, not drag them down.

In the same way, they also wish to add meaning to someone else’s life. Indeed, they see the importance of both give and take in a relationship. A strong woman would never take more than she’s willing to give when it comes to love.

4. They know how to handle their emotions

Strong women don’t need anyone to coddle them in life; they can perfectly sort through their feelings. Because of their emotional maturity, talking to them is much easier should a disagreement occur.

In a relationship with a strong woman, things are dealt with in an adult manner, with respect and grace. These type of women don’t let their emotions get the best of them, and always listen to their partner’s point of view without interrupting.

5. Strong women aren’t afraid of conflict

They would rather bring something up front and center than tiptoe around an issue and let it fester. They won’t ever yell or allow their anger to get the best of them, but they certainly won’t cower in a corner, either. If something happens between the two of you, she won’t hesitate to talk about it so the problem can be resolved quickly.

strong woman

6. They look at a relationship as a team

They can’t have anyone slowing them down, so they only choose someone they can see building a stable life with in the future. A strong woman doesn’t want anyone to control her or anyone to control her; she wants someone who will grow with her and whose future can be intertwined with hers.

She also wants someone who has her back and who she can protect. Strong women don’t need someone to feel better about themselves. Instead, they want someone to celebrate all the wins in life with, and someone to support and encourage them through the losses.

7. They don’t get jealous easily

Trust is a big deal for a strong woman, because she doesn’t just hand it out. It has to be earned over time; even then, she might still need some more time.

So, if you have her trust, don’t do anything to lose it, because you will most likely not get that privilege back. If she trusts you, she doesn’t worry about the friends you hang out with or where you go after work. She doesn’t get jealous of the other people you spend time with, because she gave you her heart and knows you will protect it no matter what.

8. Strong women aren’t just looking for something casual

They don’t want someone to keep them warm in the winter. No. They want someone who will withstand the seasons. Someone who will weather all the storms and climates with them.

Strong women seek out serious relationships more often than others because they aren’t just looking for someone to love but a partner to complement them. They want a soulmate, and nothing less.

9. They run from negativity

So, don’t expect her to tolerate much of it in your relationship. A strong woman desires a positive, uplifting person. That’s because she’s been through a lot in her own life and doesn’t want someone who will drag her back into the dirt.

She’s blossomed into a beautiful flower and knows that flowers can’t keep growing without sunlight, so she runs from darkness whenever possible. She will always tackle problems with you but won’t tolerate constant complaining and toxic behavior.

10. They have their own goals and dreams

A strong woman doesn’t need a man or woman to bring home the bread or give her life direction. She knows where she’s going and how she’s getting there, and nothing but the end of the world could ever stop her.

She wants you to have your own life, too, so that you both have things you’re working towards while being able to cheer each other on. In the same way that she has her life together, she only seeks out someone with clear goals and direction.

strong woman

Final Thoughts on Strong Women

Strong women give this world hope and show us a great example of what we can become if we strive to reach our full potential. These women never gave up despite countless obstacles and adversity; we wouldn’t be here today without them.

In a relationship, a strong woman can balance her fiery nature with her grace and wisdom to avoid taking total control of the partnership. She might come on a bit strong initially, but she will let you take the reigns too, once she gets to know you.

Being in a relationship with this type of woman is quite a privilege and should not be taken for granted. A strong woman can take a relationship to new heights and show you how fantastic love can truly be.

5 Behaviors A Control Freak Displays Before Revealing Themselves

Control freak: a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation. ~ Oxford English Dictionaries

Have you ever known a “control freak?” If so, the odds are that you remember their name and face. These folks leave an imprint on the brain that’s hard to ignore.

Some control freaks are borderline narcissistic. Not only are they unaware of how they’re perceived, but they probably wouldn’t care if you told them.

Some control freaks suffer from diagnosable mental health conditions. Amy Morin, the author of What Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, says, “Many people who enter my therapy office with depression, anxiety, and stress-related issues have one thing in common: They spend a lot of time focusing on things they can’t control.”

Regardless of the rationale behind their behavior, control freaks share another thing in common: they drive pretty much everyone nuts.

Now, time for an uncomfortable truth: there’s a bit of control freak in every one of us. Don’t think so? How many times have you irrationally engaged in self-torture over something you couldn’t control?

That’s being a control freak. It’s also called being human. This is acceptable – to a certain extent.

There is, however, one big difference between you and the folks we’ll be discussing next: you stop with your thoughts. Control freaks leave a toxic impression wherever they go. Besides that, they will obnoxiously voice their illogical discontent without a second thought.

Here are five other signs that someone is a control freak … and tips on how to avoid them:

Watch for these red flags.

1. They can’t work in a team

To be part of a team means giving up some semblance of control. Predictably, control freaks don’t handle this situation very well. Control freaks possess an irrationally strong desire (obsession) to “orchestrate” their own outcome.

Indeed, many control freaks are loners. So when they’re forced to be part of a team (which they have to be), they’ll quickly turn into overbearing, fussy teammates.

2. They try and convince people to change

Control freaks have a firm belief that they know what’s best for everyone. A ridiculous notion, but part of the psyche of a control freak nonetheless.

Control freaks can’t resist the urge to lecture others about “the right way” to do, well, pretty much anything. More devious control freaks will spew inaccuracies and untruths to try and change someone for their sole benefit.

how to deal with control freaks

3. They can’t maintain relationships

Control freaks repel rational people like DEET repels mosquitos.

Who the heck wants to be involved – in any capacity – with someone who concerns themselves with everything you do? Not only will they try to defeat any sense of autonomy you have, but they’ll “correct” you on a near-constant basis.

Thanks, but no thanks.

4. They have little compassion for honest mistakes

While control freaks are all-too-willing to overlook their errors, you can forget about receiving any sympathy for yours.

Control freaks have a problematic view of success, believing it to be the sole result of work ethic and ability. That’s because they believe someone else’s mistakes are “obvious” indications of their laziness or stupidity.

Speaking of which, control freaks believe that success is achievable in every circumstance. (Just don’t point out their glaring failures under those very same conditions.)

5. They’re always correcting people

Unsurprisingly, control freaks cannot resist the opportunity to correct someone else. From voicing their objection to someone’s point of view to “improving” someone’s choice of words, their insatiable desire to always be right is perpetually on display.

Moreover, control freaks don’t take counterarguments too well, especially those with logic, as their need to be right will always supersede the truth.

Avoiding control freaks

Of course, you may not be able to avoid these toxic people completely. However, there is a way of responding to them that will significantly make things easier.

Preston Ni, M.S.B.A., recommends the following seven tips for dealing with controlling people:

  1. Keep your cool and maintain composure: “One of the most common characteristics about aggressive, intimidating, and controlling individuals is that they like to deliberately upset you.”
  2. Keep your distance: “Unless there’s something important at stake, don’t expend yourself by trying to grapple with a person who’s negatively entrenched.”
  3. Shift from reactive to proactive: “Being mindful about the nature of aggressive, intimidating, and controlling people can help us de-personalize the situation, and turn from being reactive to proactive.”
  4. Stand up for your rights: “Aggressive, intimidating, and controlling individuals, in particular, want to deprive you of your rights so they can control and take advantage of you.”
  5. Reclaim your power: “A common pattern with aggressive, intimidating, and controlling people is that they like to place attention on you to make you feel uncomfortable or inadequate … A simple and powerful way to change this dynamic is to put the spotlight back on (them).”
  6. In mild situations, use appropriate humor: “When appropriately used, humor can shine light on the truth, disarm difficult behavior, and show that you have superior composure.”
  7. In serious situations, set consequences: “The ability to identify and assert consequence(s) is one of the most important skills you can use to “stand down” a difficult person. Effectively articulated, consequence gives pause to the offending individual.”

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/control_freak 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201604/5-signs-you-are-dealing-control-freak
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201705/7-things-control-freak-does
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