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8 Habits That Make You Age Faster (And How to Fix It)

December 1, 2017 by Power of Positivity

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you tap into this source, you will truly have defeated age.” ~ Sophia Loren

Interesting fact: The Anti-Aging Market topped $250 billion in the year 2016. It’s estimated that the market will continue to grow at a rate of six percent year-over-year.

Another interesting fact: Most people are wasting their money.

Aging is a natural biochemical process of the body. Until we can “hack” into those little things called cells, we’re going to get old.

Until that time, people will likely continue to spend $50,000 on a facelift, inject themselves with toxins, and gladly turn their face into a birthday cake.

We’re a far cry from a legitimate Fountain of Youth.

It seems that many of these folks have never heard the phrase “Prevention is the best medicine.”

While we’ll (probably) never be able to completely and successfully reverse the aging process, there are things we can do to help counteract the effects of aging.

There are also things we can stop doing – this requires understanding the things that expedite the effects of aging.

With this knowledge, we can proactively improve our health, experience more happiness, and live a more positive, satisfying life!

So without further ado …

8 Things That Make You Age Faster

1. High Blood Pressure

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, over 75 million Americans – or one of every three adults – have high blood pressure.

Statistically, blood pressure tends to spike between the ages of 55 to 64 and slowly increases from then onward. This is problematic, as high blood pressure is linked with an increased risk of coronary disease, heart attacks, and heart failure.

Tips:

– Lose those extra few pounds.

– Aim for 30 minutes of light to moderate exercise daily.

– Eat a well-balanced, healthy diet.

– Reduce salt intake.

– Limit alcohol.

2. Being Overweight

Scientists at the University of Edinburg analyzed the genetic information of more than 600,000 people from 25 different studies across Australia, Europe, and North America.

The researchers discovered that every kilogram (2.2 pounds) of extra weight carried reduced life expectancy by roughly two months. Simple math time: 12 months/2.2 = 5.45 pounds.

Translation: Being overweight by just 5 pounds may take a year off of your life.

Tips:

– Schedule a physical examination to rule out any underlying conditions (e.g., thyroid disorders).

– Create a meal plan that consists of fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein.

– Find a workout regimen that works for you. Engaging in physical activity that interests you (biking, basketball, tennis, etc.) is the best way to stick with a workout routine!

3. Smoking

Per the same study by the University of Edinburg, “cigarette smoking and traits associated with lung cancer had the greatest impact on shortening lifespan.”

Smoking the equivalent of a pack of cigarettes a day reduces life expectancy by an average of 7 years.

Tips:

– Research smoking cessation programs if you need help.

– If you can’t quit cold-turkey, try cutting back slowly.

– Exercise and meditation are two activities that may help reduce cravings.

4. A Highly Stressful Job

Listen, most of us aren’t doing what we love. According to various surveys, job dissatisfaction hovers around 70 percent in the U.S.

But there’s a gaping difference between an irksome sense of job discontent and ceaselessly hating your job.

According to researchers from Indiana University, “people who have little decision-making ability in demanding jobs have a 15.4% increase in mortality compared to those in less demanding jobs.”

Tips:

– Evaluate your current level of job-related stress.

– Start looking for a new job, if necessary.

– Learn basic mindfulness and deep breathing techniques (This will help!)

5. High cholesterol levels

Your DNA influences your blood cholesterol levels; but while you can’t alter your genetic makeup, you can be proactive about keeping these markers within an acceptable range.

Tips:

– Increase dietary fiber intake.

– Eat foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids.

– Eliminate trans fats.

– Increase protein intake.

6. Willful Ignorance

While the sixth item on our list may seem irrelevant, there’s something to be said about the adverse effects of enabling an idle mind.

According to a 2015 study published in the journal PLOS One, “Mortality (due) to low education is comparable (to) individuals being current rather than former smokers.”

Having less than a high school diploma was found to be the most significant risk factor.

Tips:

– Keep your mind active through reading.

– Consider a brain training program.

– Take a free online course on something of interest to you.

– Advance your formal education, if desired.

7. Discontentment

Ecological momentary assessment (EMA) “assesses a person’s current experiences, behaviors, and moods as they occur in real time and in their natural environment.” Many behavioral scientists state that EMA is among the most precise measurements of a person’s well-being.

Relatedly, in a study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), scientists used the EMA to evaluate 3,853 individuals aged 52 to 79 years.

Those whose scored the quantitative equivalent of “not happy” had a “death rate” of 7.3% – nearly double of those reported a more positive mindset.

Tips:

– Sit down, with yourself or someone else, and think about/discuss the sources of your happiness – or lack thereof.

– Keep a simple gratitude journal, where you write three things that you’re grateful for every day.

– Seek out support – in whatever form (medical, spiritual, otherwise) that’s right for you.

8. Lack of Self-Care

The last item on our list is intentionally broad in scope.

The truth is that none of us know what’s best for someone else. Well-being is a highly subjective thing – just look at the self-help section at your local bookstore!

But deep down, all of us – whether or not we admit it to ourselves – have a pretty good answer to the question “How am I doing?”

Trying to prescribe a one-size-fits-all solution to the neverending list that is “life’s problems” is a futile (not to mention, depressing) endeavor.

So, in closing, please take care of yourself. If you don’t feel right, swallow your pride and seek out some help. Sit down, close your eyes and meditate. Get good at deep breathing.

Most importantly, cultivate and grow your positive natural energy! Believe us; it’s there!

Sources:
http://www.cdc.gov/bloodpressure/facts.htm
http://fortune.com/2016/10/17/job-stress-early-death/
http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0131809#ack
http://www.pnas.org/content/108/45/18244
https://www.ed.ac.uk/news/2017/learning-and-staying-in-shape-key-to-longer-lifesp
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/high-blood-pressure/in-depth/high-blood-pressure/art-20046974
https://www.reuters.com/brandfeatures/venture-capital/article?id=11480

6 Proven Ways to Make A Great First Impression

December 1, 2017 by Power of Positivity

There exist specific rules of engagement when it comes to making a solid first impression.

Let’s consider a job interview – a situation where first impressions are critical. You already know what to do: dress the part, watch your body language, and hold some knowledge about the company and job role.

But there’s a difference between – not only making a good impression – but keeping it.

Let’s revisit the job interview from a different perspective – the interviewers.

After a while, interviewers must “get smart” when it comes to doing away with the B.S. people throw at them – or risk having their judgment called into question.

They’ve had to learn the hard way, namely through getting duped by people making a “great first impression” only to disappoint.

The point is if we’re going to keep a solid foundation of people at our side – friends and colleagues, intimate partners, and others – then we must understand and put into practice something called “impression management.”

Impression management is defined as “a conscious or subconscious process in which people attempt to influence the perception of (others) … by regulating and controlling information in social interaction.”

In this article, we will narrow down some of the best advice from impression management experts that can help us in our day-to-day relationships. If you commit to – and properly execute – these seven methods of impression management, you’ll enhance your ability to impress and influence people in the long run.

6 Ways to Make A Great First Impression

“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” ~ Will Rogers

1. Mind your body language

We are always communicating, whether or not our lips are forming words. Has anyone ever asked you “what’s wrong” when there was nothing? That’s a perfect example.

We’re always sending messages. Communication is continuously sent and received from the words we speak and our tone of voice – to our body language, such as posture and facial expressions.

Mind your body language.

2. Be respectful to make a great first impression

Respect goes a long way, especially in a society where everyone seems to look out for numero uno.”

Being disrespectful always comes back around. Look at the proliferation of sexual harassment claims against politicians and actors to see this karma in action.

At work, failure to be respectful can get you fired. In your relationships, disrespect can get you dumped.

And so on.

The bottom line: regarding impression management, r-e-s-p-e-c-t is the fundamental building block.

3. Be open-minded

Despite all of the world’s problems, we’re living in perhaps the most learned age in history. The democratization of knowledge and education has led to people worldwide being more informed.

Studies have repeatedly demonstrated the link between education and a more egalitarian world view.

Be fair, even-minded, and mature. Listen to others’ perspectives even if they don’t align with yours. Instead of ridiculing an idea you interpret as unworkable, take the time to listen and understand.

4. Embrace humanity to make a good first impression

Listen, we’re living in some troubling times. North Korea, climate change, and the threat of nuclear proliferation… all of these things are bothersome.

But there’s a whole lot of good going on in the world, too.

Why doesn’t the media talk more about these things? Because human beings possess something called a ‘negativity bias,’ where we pay more attention to bad events than good ones. More viewers = higher ratings = more advertisements = more money.

So just when you’re about to fall into a rabbit hole of negativity, search and find some good in the world!

5. Keep your word

Remain true to your word unless there’s an excellent reason. People who say what they mean, mean what they say, and let their actions do the talking always seem to remain in the good graces of others.

Be on time for appointments. Pay people what they’re owed. Don’t make false promises. Do what’s right even if it requires some sacrifice or discomfort.

Holding others accountable for their word is also applicable.

6. Speak up

So many people have informative and insightful things to add but choose not to for whatever reason. That’s difficult for introverts – but very necessary.

But people can’t hold you in a positive light if you refuse to engage. Worse, the shy ones are often overlooked because people aren’t aware of their abilities!

Don’t be overly concerned with people’s reactions, either. As long as you remain positive, polite, and conscientious, most people will listen to what you have to say!

10 Reasons Strong Women Handle Relationships Differently

November 30, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Strong women know more than anything else that taking care of themselves is a must and to not look upon anyone else to swoop in and save the day for them. They have been battle-tested and learned what independence truly means.

Strong women have never known what’s it like to need anyone because they had to fend for themselves at a young age. Any strong woman you meet has had a few crappy hands dealt to her in life, but she’s risen above like the champion she is at heart, not allowing one misstep or misfortune to hold her down.

Strong women are fierce, courageous, resilient, and beautiful. If you’re the lucky guy or gal who gets to call her yours, you will keep the following points in mind to know what to expect in your relationship with your strong sweetheart.

“I believe in strong women, I believe in the woman who is able to stand up for herself, I believe in the woman who doesn’t need to hide behind her husband’s back. I believe that if you have problems, as a woman you deal with them, you don’t play victim, you don’t make yourself look pitiful, you don’t point fingers. You stand and you deal. You face the world with a head held high and you carry the universe in your heart.” – C. JoyBell C.

10 Reasons Strong Women Approach Relationships Differently

1. They aren’t looking for a relationship to save them

No, they learned as a child that no one would come to save them – they had to save themselves. They never enjoyed relying on anyone for anything, so why start now?

The person there for them at the end of the day was always staring back at them in the mirror before they laid their head down at night, so they see no reason to give that duty to someone else.

In relationships, strong women do not view you as a means to an end – a way to become more financially or emotionally stable, cure themselves of loneliness, etc. They don’t have any ulterior motive for being with you, so you don’t have to worry.

A relationship with a strong woman has a lot more security because you don’t have to walk on eggshells around her to keep her happy. You don’t have to bring home a six-figure income to satisfy her, and you don’t have to babysit her emotions. There is security and freedom in a relationship with a woman who needs no hero to save her.

2. Strong women know what they want

Because of this, they don’t approach relationships the same way those who are just wading in the dating pool might. They dive right in and know their target long before hitting the water. In other words, these women have been hurt before and know what to look for in a mate.

They’ve had experience with the types of people they DON’T want, so they know exactly what they do want. They don’t waste their life in dead-end relationships; you’ll know if they feel the vibe with you. If not, she’ll let you know early so you both don’t waste your time.

3. They view relationships as an equal partnership

They don’t seek out a partner to get anything out of them. Instead, they seek someone to add value to their life. They only want someone who will lift them up, not drag them down.

In the same way, they also wish to add meaning to someone else’s life. Indeed, they see the importance of both give and take in a relationship. A strong woman would never take more than she’s willing to give when it comes to love.

4. They know how to handle their emotions

Strong women don’t need anyone to coddle them in life; they can perfectly sort through their feelings. Because of their emotional maturity, talking to them is much easier should a disagreement occur.

In a relationship with a strong woman, things are dealt with in an adult manner, with respect and grace. These type of women don’t let their emotions get the best of them, and always listen to their partner’s point of view without interrupting.

5. Strong women aren’t afraid of conflict

They would rather bring something up front and center than tiptoe around an issue and let it fester. They won’t ever yell or allow their anger to get the best of them, but they certainly won’t cower in a corner, either. If something happens between the two of you, she won’t hesitate to talk about it so the problem can be resolved quickly.

6. They look at a relationship as a team

They can’t have anyone slowing them down, so they only choose someone they can see building a stable life with in the future. A strong woman doesn’t want anyone to control her or anyone to control her; she wants someone who will grow with her and whose future can be intertwined with hers.

She also wants someone who has her back and who she can protect. Strong women don’t need someone to feel better about themselves. Instead, they want someone to celebrate all the wins in life with, and someone to support and encourage them through the losses.

7. They don’t get jealous easily

Trust is a big deal for a strong woman, because she doesn’t just hand it out. It has to be earned over time; even then, she might still need some more time.

So, if you have her trust, don’t do anything to lose it, because you will most likely not get that privilege back. If she trusts you, she doesn’t worry about the friends you hang out with or where you go after work. She doesn’t get jealous of the other people you spend time with, because she gave you her heart and knows you will protect it no matter what.

8. Strong women aren’t just looking for something casual

They don’t want someone to keep them warm in the winter. No. They want someone who will withstand the seasons. Someone who will weather all the storms and climates with them.

Strong women seek out serious relationships more often than others because they aren’t just looking for someone to love but a partner to complement them. They want a soulmate, and nothing less.

9. They run from negativity

So, don’t expect her to tolerate much of it in your relationship. A strong woman desires a positive, uplifting person. That’s because she’s been through a lot in her own life and doesn’t want someone who will drag her back into the dirt.

She’s blossomed into a beautiful flower and knows that flowers can’t keep growing without sunlight, so she runs from darkness whenever possible. She will always tackle problems with you but won’t tolerate constant complaining and toxic behavior.

10. They have their own goals and dreams

A strong woman doesn’t need a man or woman to bring home the bread or give her life direction. She knows where she’s going and how she’s getting there, and nothing but the end of the world could ever stop her.

She wants you to have your own life, too, so that you both have things you’re working towards while being able to cheer each other on. In the same way that she has her life together, she only seeks out someone with clear goals and direction.

Final Thoughts on Strong Women

Strong women give this world hope and show us a great example of what we can become if we strive to reach our full potential. These women never gave up despite countless obstacles and adversity; we wouldn’t be here today without them.

In a relationship, a strong woman can balance her fiery nature with her grace and wisdom to avoid taking total control of the partnership. She might come on a bit strong initially, but she will let you take the reigns too, once she gets to know you.

Being in a relationship with this type of woman is quite a privilege and should not be taken for granted. A strong woman can take a relationship to new heights and show you how fantastic love can truly be.

5 Behaviors A Control Freak Displays Before Revealing Themselves

November 30, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Control freak: a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation. ~ Oxford English Dictionaries

Have you ever known a “control freak?” If so, the odds are that you remember their name and face. These folks leave an imprint on the brain that’s hard to ignore.

Some control freaks are borderline narcissistic. Not only are they unaware of how they’re perceived, but they probably wouldn’t care if you told them.

Some control freaks suffer from diagnosable mental health conditions. Amy Morin, the author of What Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, says, “Many people who enter my therapy office with depression, anxiety, and stress-related issues have one thing in common: They spend a lot of time focusing on things they can’t control.”

Regardless of the rationale behind their behavior, control freaks share another thing in common: they drive pretty much everyone nuts.

Now, time for an uncomfortable truth: there’s a bit of control freak in every one of us. Don’t think so? How many times have you irrationally engaged in self-torture over something you couldn’t control?

That’s being a control freak. It’s also called being human. This is acceptable – to a certain extent.

There is, however, one big difference between you and the folks we’ll be discussing next: you stop with your thoughts. Control freaks leave a toxic impression wherever they go. Besides that, they will obnoxiously voice their illogical discontent without a second thought.

Here are five other signs that someone is a control freak … and tips on how to avoid them:

Watch for these red flags.

1. They can’t work in a team

To be part of a team means giving up some semblance of control. Predictably, control freaks don’t handle this situation very well. Control freaks possess an irrationally strong desire (obsession) to “orchestrate” their own outcome.

Indeed, many control freaks are loners. So when they’re forced to be part of a team (which they have to be), they’ll quickly turn into overbearing, fussy teammates.

2. They try and convince people to change

Control freaks have a firm belief that they know what’s best for everyone. A ridiculous notion, but part of the psyche of a control freak nonetheless.

Control freaks can’t resist the urge to lecture others about “the right way” to do, well, pretty much anything. More devious control freaks will spew inaccuracies and untruths to try and change someone for their sole benefit.

3. They can’t maintain relationships

Control freaks repel rational people like DEET repels mosquitos.

Who the heck wants to be involved – in any capacity – with someone who concerns themselves with everything you do? Not only will they try to defeat any sense of autonomy you have, but they’ll “correct” you on a near-constant basis.

Thanks, but no thanks.

4. They have little compassion for honest mistakes

While control freaks are all-too-willing to overlook their errors, you can forget about receiving any sympathy for yours.

Control freaks have a problematic view of success, believing it to be the sole result of work ethic and ability. That’s because they believe someone else’s mistakes are “obvious” indications of their laziness or stupidity.

Speaking of which, control freaks believe that success is achievable in every circumstance. (Just don’t point out their glaring failures under those very same conditions.)

5. They’re always correcting people

Unsurprisingly, control freaks cannot resist the opportunity to correct someone else. From voicing their objection to someone’s point of view to “improving” someone’s choice of words, their insatiable desire to always be right is perpetually on display.

Moreover, control freaks don’t take counterarguments too well, especially those with logic, as their need to be right will always supersede the truth.

Avoiding control freaks

Of course, you may not be able to avoid these toxic people completely. However, there is a way of responding to them that will significantly make things easier.

Preston Ni, M.S.B.A., recommends the following seven tips for dealing with controlling people:

Keep your cool and maintain composure: “One of the most common characteristics about aggressive, intimidating, and controlling individuals is that they like to deliberately upset you.”
Keep your distance: “Unless there’s something important at stake, don’t expend yourself by trying to grapple with a person who’s negatively entrenched.”
Shift from reactive to proactive: “Being mindful about the nature of aggressive, intimidating, and controlling people can help us de-personalize the situation, and turn from being reactive to proactive.”
Stand up for your rights: “Aggressive, intimidating, and controlling individuals, in particular, want to deprive you of your rights so they can control and take advantage of you.”
Reclaim your power: “A common pattern with aggressive, intimidating, and controlling people is that they like to place attention on you to make you feel uncomfortable or inadequate … A simple and powerful way to change this dynamic is to put the spotlight back on (them).”
In mild situations, use appropriate humor: “When appropriately used, humor can shine light on the truth, disarm difficult behavior, and show that you have superior composure.”
In serious situations, set consequences: “The ability to identify and assert consequence(s) is one of the most important skills you can use to “stand down” a difficult person. Effectively articulated, consequence gives pause to the offending individual.”

Sources
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/control_freak
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201604/5-signs-you-are-dealing-control-freak
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201705/7-things-control-freak-does

Researchers Explain 5 Things That Never Impress A Woman

November 30, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Trying too hard to impress a woman can be harmful because it can appear insincere or disingenuous. When someone puts on a show or tries to be someone they’re not to impress another person, it can be easy to see through the facade. This can lead to distrust or disappointment in the other person, ultimately harming the relationship. Additionally, suppose someone is constantly performing to impress their partner. In that case, they may become exhausted or feel like they’re not living authentically, which can also affect their mental health and well-being.

Trying too hard to impress a woman can also be harmful because it can put much pressure on the relationship. If someone is constantly trying to be perfect or live up to an unrealistic standard, it can be difficult to maintain that level of performance over time. This can lead to feelings of stress or anxiety, which can further harm the relationship. Additionally, suppose someone is constantly trying to impress their partner. In that case, it can create a power dynamic in which one person feels more control or influence over the other. This can lead to feelings of resentment or distrust, which can ultimately harm the relationship.

Finally, trying too hard to impress a woman can be harmful because it can prevent someone from getting to know their partner. If someone constantly tries to put their best foot forward or impress their partner, they may feel uncomfortable being vulnerable or sharing their true selves. This can prevent them from building a deep, meaningful connection with their partner, ultimately harming the relationship. Additionally, if someone constantly tries to impress their partner, they may not pay enough attention to their needs, desires, or interests. This can make building a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding complex, ultimately harming the relationship.

NOTE: If you want to learn the behavior that will never impress a man, we cover that topic separately.

Never Try These Five Things; They Will Not Impress a Woman

Some dating tactics we’ve heard of are legendary failure scenarios, but these are five more common ways we agree should never be used to impress a woman.

honesty quote

1. Send pictures of your anatomy

Many women report getting unwanted nude pictures from men trying to impress them with their bodies.

We are happy that you love your physical body, but your particular anatomy should never be how to impress a woman you are interested in. Bragging about your stamina, physical attributes, or sexual activities will also not impress a woman.

2. Be inauthentic

Being your real authentic self is attractive. so trying to be different will not work to impress a woman. Researchers at Cornell University studying online dating profiles found that the lower online daters felt about their own attractiveness, the more likely they were to enhance their profile photographs and lie about their physical descriptors (height, weight, age).

The fact that physical attractiveness was what the dater lied about, not their income or occupation, suggests that their deceptions were intentional.

3. Reject emotions

The male gender is commonly less outwardly emotional than the woman he tries to impress. But ironically, it’s your emotions that she wants to see. Women connect to and relate to others through communication and expressing feelings. If you want to impress her, occasionally talk about things that sadden you, even if you aren’t a crier. In turn, she knows you are capable of emoting and understanding her emotions.

4. Boast about your income

Although a steady income and your ability to handle your bills are going to impress her, outright bragging about your income is tacky. The woman you’re trying to impress knows that dollars in the bank don’t equal a happy relationship.

Money is not everything when it comes to impressing a woman. Researchers at Chapman University studying dating preferences found that both men and women were least interested in their partner “having a steady income, and were generally less interested in qualities like making an equal amount of money, or even making a lot of money.”

The researchers say that although appearance is essential for men and women ages 18-25 in dating, “appearance and income aren’t going to hold your hand when you are in the hospital or sick or when you are playing board games together at night.”

5. Lack future goals

While a great first impression was your initial goal, she will also want to know your plans. If you make the right impression, she is likely wondering what you plan for your future and what role she might play while working toward her goals.

This is important to her in deciding if you might be the right fit, and so it should also be important to you.

impress a woman

Final Thoughts: Stop Trying So Hard to Impress a Woman

Making a good, not bad, impression is what you are going for with the woman you desire. Hopefully, our article has helped you avoid a possible disaster. Impressions can be challenging, and although you want to be yourself, you also want to put your best foot forward.

Meeting her needs is the best way to impress a woman. So take some time to discover what is important to her before you show her all your impressive features and benefits.

Sources:
http://www.thelist.com/47250/things-never-impress-woman/
Cornell University study online dating physical attractiveness deception
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Jeffrey_Hancock/publication/238429913_Looks_and_Lies_The_Role_of_Physical_Attractiveness_in_Online_Dating_Self-Presentation_and_Deception/links/5418af0b0cf203f155adb4df/Looks-and-Lies-The-Role-of-Physical-Attractiveness-in-Online-Dating-Self-Presentation-and-Deception.pdf

6 Unattractive Traits That Turn People Off

November 29, 2017 by Power of Positivity

While you may believe that cataloging what makes a man or woman unattractive is a never-ending task – not to mention entirely subjective – there’s some commonality to be found.

Truth #1: Personality traits exist that are nearly universally unattractive.

Truth #2: Nearly every undesirable trait can broken down to a more fundamental nature.

This brings us to this article.

The exciting thing about the personality characteristics on this list is that they are nearly all-encompassing. In other words, they may carry different meanings for different people in different situations.

To quickly illustrate this point, consider “disorganization,” one of the traits on this list. One can be disorganized mentally, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. One can be personally disorganized or haphazardly approach their relationships.

With that said!

Here are six traits that most people find unattractive:

1. Arrogance

It’s common to mistake arrogance for confidence – at least in the beginning. The person may act as if they’ve got everything figured out, usually communicated by acting (unnaturally) confident, never showing insecurity or vulnerability, and bragging non-stop.

It’s quickly discovered, however, that there’s little substance behind this arrogant mask. Arrogance is unattractive for a number one reason; one of them being that it can morph into so many other undesirables: cattiness, egotism, self-aggrandizement, and rudeness, among others.

“An arrogant person considers himself perfect. This is the chief harm of arrogance. It interferes with a person’s main task in life – becoming a better person.” Leo Tolstoy

2. Controlling or Jealous Behavior

Control is jealousy’s close cousin. The two traits are pretty much inseparable.

Think about it: if a person is jealous, how will they compensate for – what is perceived as – some personal loss? Oftentimes, they’ll try and right the ship by seizing control. Worse yet, the situation can be dangerous if the controlling behaviors become emotionally or physically abusive.

The truth is that being in (any kind) of a relationship with a jealous, controlling person rarely works. It’s best to walk away before things get uglier.

3. Disorganization

If you’re a person who (rightfully) takes pride in having your affairs in order, a close relationship with someone incompetent in this area may be difficult.

To be reasonable, we’re all a bit disorganized at times – we’ll forget about a bill, run late, or look a bit disheveled once in a while. That’s not what we’re talking about.

We’re talking about people whose lives are perpetually disorganized. These folks are always late, never pay their bills, forget to call, never seen an iron, and whose home looks like a natural disaster hit it.

Unless they’re a 20-year-old living in a dorm, there’s no excuse.

4. Inattentiveness/Inability to listen

There’s not paying attention because you’re anxious or tired, and then there’s not paying attention because you don’t give a crap.

If you’re a good listener, you certainly understand the frustrations of trying to converse with someone with the attention span of a fruit fly. (It’s one of the most annoyingly rude things ever.)

People who are deserving of your attention should receive it unless they’ve given you a good reason. Another frustrating variation of inattentiveness/inability to listen is interrupting or walking away when someone’s speaking.

5. Irresponsibility

Once again, a caveat: none of us deserve a responsibility halo beaming from atop our heads. We’ve all screwed up on our responsibilities (it happens to the best of us!).

But is that irresponsibility coming from a lack of effort? If so, there’s no rational excuse. If you’ve been fair – say, reminded the person to do “X” or else “Y” on many-an-occasion – their flat-out inability to take responsibility is to blame.

Irresponsibility is indicative of one’s maturity level. If one is lacking, so is the other.

6. Gossiping

Ugh. Definitely one of the worst personality traits there is. (Pardon if the rest of the article gets a bit testy as a result.)

High school is over! (Unless you’re reading this and still in high school. If so, welcome!)

In all sincerity, gossiping behavior is something that should’ve disappeared the moment you stepped out into the real world on your lonesome.

It’s still astonishing just how much grown adults gossip and what they chatter about. It’s still far too commonplace to walk into some breakroom at work and hear “He said (x)” “She said (y)” “I heard (z).”

Unattractive isn’t a harsh enough word. This is, indeed, an ugly personality trait.

Please, just stop. Whoever you are.