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How To Trust Someone After You’ve Been Broken

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”  – Maya Angelou

They say it takes a while to build trust, but only one moment to break it, and most of us know how true that statement is. Most of us have probably been betrayed and hurt before by someone we thought we could trust with our lives, and it makes you wonder why you ever put your trust in them to begin with.

However, shutting ourselves off from people only makes us bitter, isolated, and lonely, which can do even greater damage than attempting to trust someone again. It might be hard in the beginning, especially if you’ve just gotten out of a broken or abusive relationship, but with the tips below, we hope that you can open your heart once again.

Here’s How To Trust Again After a Hurt

1. Understand that people make mistakes.

Now, this doesn’t excuse them from hurting you, but you have to realize that humans have complex emotions and thoughts, and no one is perfect. Maybe the person didn’t mean to hurt you, and didn’t realize the consequences of their actions until it was too late. Even if the relationship or friendship ended, perhaps it was for the best, and you can decide to remain grateful for the lessons and memories rather than close yourself off from future relationships.

Try to see things from the person’s perspective, and maybe you can gain some new insight on the pain that will allow you to forgive the person in time.

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2. Don’t assume everyone is the same.

Maybe you just got out of a relationship with someone who betrayed you, and therefore have a skewed opinion of what other people are like. This could hinder you from forming relationships with others, but don’t allow it to. Remember to use your logical brain and keep an open mind when it comes to meeting others. Not everyone is out to hurt you, and not everyone will betray your trust. There are good people out there, but you’ll never cross their path if you don’t even get out on the road to find them.

3. Forgive yourself.

You might be wondering, “Well, what the heck did I do wrong?! I was the victim here!” This is totally understandable, but you might also beat yourself up half the time about what happened. Maybe you partially blame yourself for how the situation unfolded, and wish you could go back in time to do things differently. To truly move on and trust others again, you have to forgive yourself, too. Realize that hurt people hurt other people, and that you had no control over how that person would treat you.

4. Use your gut instincts.

Not everyone in the world deserves your trust, so you have to listen to your gut to figure out who is worth giving it to. Learn from your past relationships so that you can avoid the same situation before you get too heavily invested in someone, and if they give you a reason to have doubts, don’t be afraid to bring it up with them. After all, trust is earned, not given. So if they can’t pay their dues, so to speak, then they don’t deserve your time, effort, and trust.

If something feels off about someone, then it probably is. Pay attention to how you feel when you’re around the person; if you feel at ease and comfortable, then maybe try opening up little by little. If you feel uptight and cautious around the person, then chances are, you won’t be able to trust them in the long run.

5. Leave the past where it belongs.

If you bring the past with you wherever you go, it will always haunt you and stir up bad memories. In order to move on and learn to trust again, you have to leave the past behind you and accept that you can’t change it. All you can do is learn from it, and hope to meet better people that will appreciate and cherish your feelings and not take advantage of you. Dragging the past with you will only weigh you down and make it that much harder to develop solid relationships with good people.

You might feel like you’ll never trust again, but you can learn to open your heart and allow yourself to be vulnerable after you’ve given yourself time. Take things slowly and keep your guard up in the beginning if you have to, but also know when to knock down the walls that separate you from others. Take a chance on people that you have a good feeling about, because you can only get over your past once you embrace the future and turn the pain into power.

What Do You Need Most In A Relationship, According to Your Zodiac Sign

Think about what you look for in a partner for a moment and write it down. Is it sweet affection? Moral support in a project or other undertaking? No beating around the bush from your partner? Today, we delve into what each zodiac sign requires the most in a coupling of souls. You might be surprised by what you learn in this article, so read on, dear friends!

What Do You Need Most In A Relationship, According to Your Zodiac Sign

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Aries

Being open and honest like the figurative fields on which you graze, dear Ram, is how you like your (wo)man, and you are not a fan of surprises because you believe that your special someone is hiding something sinister from you. You also have a somewhat short fuse, thus your partner must somehow deal with that little quirk of yours, too. Therefore, your partner needs to be somewhere like 11 out of 10 on the scale of understanding.

Taurus

Now, as a Bull, you are a weird combination of stubborn and sensitive. There is no need to get upset now, dear Bull, but this is your innate character. So, what does this mean in terms of your needs in a beau/belle? You are still upset? All that is coming out is the truth! Anyway, you need a (wo)man who can take your feelings into consideration and be gentle with you. You really do not forgive very easily, do you?! The explanation is there, please do not hold a grudge! That means that you need your partner to be persistent if they seek your forgiveness. Seriously, you are a lovely lot!

Gemini

You Twin folk dislike being out of contact. It is their version relationship-wise of a stake to the heart of a vampire. E-mails, phone calls, texts, and spending time are paramount to you, so you look for someone willing to always be around or at least in touch, and not just at night! You also have a thirst for life that is unequalled in the zodiac world, so sharing it with a mate is necessary, like vampires have for blood. If your thirst for fun is not quenched, you will be bored easily and bite someone else’s neck!

Cancer

You, Crustacean friend, firmly believe in give and take. For example, you value loyalty and dependability and need this returned to you by your lover. Also you Crabs look to give and receive protection, so that you can achieve mutual security within the relationship. There is a method to the madness of why you always walk sideways!

Leo

Lions are the top of the zodiac tree and we all know it, myself included. Your confident, charismatic self wants a mirror of yourself, another confident, charismatic self. However, you only want this because you want to look and feel more important than zodiac royalty. He or she also has to give you joy and passion, and to do it all himself/herself. However, you are not shy of returning the favour yourself. In your eyes, there is but only one letter difference between “elf” and “self”.

Virgo

The analytical Virgin likes kindness in a mate. Being kind individuals, you want to see it everywhere if possible. Seeing as though this is not always possible, you are quite content with having that with your partner. When you see your love dove being kind to less fortunate people, your vibrations raise significantly. So, a little bit of kindness never hurt anyone, did it?

Libra

In terms of a relationship, you like to have an equilibrium, Mr./Ms. Scales. You like to have everything on an even keel, something that your partner has to learn to do. In this regard, the song “Rock The Boat” by Hues Corporation was made just for you. Being the Scales that you are, you dislike having one side outweighing the other and want to get to tranquility as quickly as possible. Still waters definitely run deep!

Scorpio

The following three things that you require are: honesty, integrity, and intimacy. You, Scorpio, are the most distrustful out of all the signs, but you trust simply by being in a relationship. The only thing you ask is that this trust is not broken or compromised in any way. Of course, having a partner who is a good lay always helps and having your own world with your beau/belle puts you in an exclusive club of two, which you love. Yet the biggie is being with someone does not lie. Without honesty at the very least, you are ready to hold your prey with your claws and deliver the fatal sting with that tail.

Sagittarius

You love your independence, dear Archer! Yet you also love people, specifically being the go-to person in times of need. What you want is to have a carbon copy of yourself, independent but dependable. Like our Crustacean friend above, you would be very happy with giving and take, which includes great sex. Lastly, your partner needs to be comfortable with you being the centre of attention.

Capricorn

Here comes the Goat! You are the one who values hard work and responsibility the most, and seeing your beau/belle like this gives you great satisfaction because they will be the same within the confines of a relationship. You dislike being taken for granted but dislike a brown-nose in equal measure.

Aquarius

Some of the words bandied about you, Water Carrier: adventurous, rebellious, a love for being right, broad-mindedness. Is this true? Good, I am glad we are both in agreement! It helps to frequently agree with you, but not always. You love having fun and doing what you want, so having a partner who will allow you to do these things will help you feel at ease. Watch out for that rebel child, though!

Pisces

The maestros of sentiments, the Fish. Just by getting touchy-feely gets you going, does it not? A supporting hand when the chips are down always goes down a treat with you but you do not mind giving it back if the roles are reversed. Public displays of affection are right up your alley and having small intimate moments like talking sweet nothings with your love dove is the ultimate for you. If ever a hopeless romantic could sum up one zodiac sign, it would be yours!

Has Taurus forgiven me yet? Chance would be a fine thing!

10 Signs You Deserve So Much More In A Relationship

What doI deserve?

To “deserve” something (or someone) – in any situation – means you’ve done what’s necessary to earn that something (or someone) based on merit.

Relationships are no different.

Superiority, inequality, and sense of entitlement have no place in a relationship. This doesn’t exclusively apply to intimate relationships, though it’s fair to say that mutual respect takes on far more importance than, say, a business connection.

Perhaps the best word to describe what we deserve in intimacy is respect. Respect for each other’s time, effort, personhood, and other things.

If you’re dissatisfied in a relationship, some contemplation is necessary. If you’ve been true to your word – committed, truthful, and loving – while feeling a deep sense that something is wrong, it’s up to you to uncover the source of this dissatisfaction.

“Don’t be afraid to lose him, because if a man really loves you, he’s not going anywhere.” ~ Steve Harvey

Ten Signs That You Deserve More:

In this article, we’re going to discuss ten signs that you probably deserve more from your relationship.

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1. Your partner doesn’t communicate

Time and time again, communication surfaces as the most element of intimacy.

Healthy communication is what enables two people to live with each other in harmony and synchrony. Weak communication disrupts every aspect of the relationship; leading to frustration and resentment.

Elaine Fantle Shimberg, relationship therapist and author of Blending Families, says one possible fix is to “Make an actual appointment with each other…If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.”

2. Your partner is unappreciative

People have different ways of expressing gratitude. Still, one common denominator of most people in relationships is making an effort to show appreciation.

There is no other way to put this: being ungrateful towards your partner is incredibly hurtful and rude. If a thankless partner is a problem, try saying “You’re welcome” the next time you do something – and see how they respond.

3. You’re always making the plans

If your partner goes into hiding whenever some planning is needed, it’s time to nip it in the bud.

There’s one caveat: someone people are bad planners – and their partner assumes this responsibility. That’s cool, as it’s a mutual thing.

But if your partner, say, can’t plan a simple night out for your birthday…yeah.

4. You’re not welcome among family

One of the saddest situations in a marriage or partnership is when one person doesn’t feel welcome in the company of their partner’s family. And this happens all of the time.

Why? Because your partner doesn’t have the wherewithal to set his or her family straight.

That’s, well, that’s unacceptable and weak.

5. They shun responsibility

Please forgive the cliché, but a relationship is hard work.

We all must navigate the ebbs and flows of life, including work and other obligations. Regardless, it doesn’t excuse us from relational responsibilities. Period.

Something needs to change – and fast.

6. They don’t respect your time

In a civilized society, punctuality is a sign of respect. Continuous lateness, or worse, not showing up, demonstrates immaturity, laziness, and even a lack of caring.

How much more important should our partner’s time be?

7. You feel insecure

To clarify, we are discussing (a) your partner’s (real or apparent) lack of commitment and (b) your innate sense of insecurity.

If we feel insecure about our partner’s intentions, we need to regain our peace of mind and have a sincere conversation. It’s essential that we prepare to hear things we may not want to hear, but that’s better than living on-edge.

If you feel insecure around your partner, you must understand this is not a typical feeling. Our loved one is supposed to be a person we’re free to be ourselves around, not watch ourselves around.

8. There’s little physical contact

You know if your partner is not the naturally affectionate type – and that’s ultimately okay. But a kiss, hug, shoulder rub, and the occasional bedroom act should surface from time-to-time.

Physical contact is a manifestation of emotions. The lack thereof is not only profoundly hurtful to the individual’s partner but is entirely irregular.

9. Your partner hides things

Researchers at Texas Tech University found that high respect among partners correlates with the degree and depth of self-disclosure.

Self-disclosure means the things we reveal about ourselves. If your partner is withholding things from you, it erodes the trust that you have as a couple. Diminishing trust can irreparably damage the strength of interconnectedness necessary to make the relationship work.

10. They’re distant

Anyone who has experienced emotional disconnection from someone they love knows how much this separation hurts.

Emotional disconnection is usually followed by physical disconnection – both are forms of distancing oneself within a relationship.

Unless the underlying cause(s) is addressed, the odds are that the relationship will ultimately end.

Final thoughts on Recognizing What You Deserve

The most beautiful element of being human is the unique ability to love and embrace others. No other creature on this planet possesses the capabilities of so profoundly connecting with others within their species.

If and when we experience the dissolving of intimacy with someone we truly love, the impact can send us reeling.

In a beautiful article titled 7 Ways to Save a Struggling Relationship, writer Alexandra Harra elaborates on the reasons for “saving” a fraught relationship.  She follows up this heartfelt story by listing the seven ways:

  1. Re-evaluating the reasons you’re together.
  2. Communication.
  3. Doing something special together.
  4. Cutting out external influences.
  5. Forgiving each other.
  6. Coming clean about our mistakes.
  7. Setting boundaries with one another – and keeping our word.

5 Morning Tricks That Make You Happier Every Day

Many people don’t like mornings. While there are plenty of “morning hacks” like coffee, yoga, and running that will help do the trick, in the spirit of brevity we cannot possibly list them all.

So, here are five of our personal favorite ways to get excited to jump out of bed in the morning!

“The mood and thought pattern that you start your day off with will often determine which direction it goes…If you are in a good mood and something goes wrong, it’s easier to look at it objectively and deal with it in a rational way.” ~ Kathy L. Gruver, Ph.D. and author of Conquer Your Stress with Mind/Body Techniques

1. Lighten up your space

Research shows that surrounding yourself with lighter colors can dramatically improve your morning.

The colors green and yellow, for example, are shown to increase your agility, confidence, and overall well-being naturally. The color blue may help you feel calmer, while reds and violets may give you more energy.

While you’re at it, open up those blinds! Basking in some inside sunshine can further boost our brain’s feel-good chemicals.

2. Pump up the jams

Granted, no one uses the phrase “pump up the jams” anymore (sorry, Technotronic.)

You may need to read the following claim twice: Studies show that listening to music may replicate the anxiety-reducing effects of a massage. Right?

Physiologically, music improves blood vessel function; lowers the body’s stress hormones; and stimulates the release of endorphins.

Dancing to the beat is an added benefit, and enhances music’s positive effects on health, memory, and mood.

3. Hit the Snooze Button (Once!)

Be a rebel. Set your alarm permitting one 10-minute snoozer.

10 minutes is enough for your brain to clear out some cobwebs before you get up. (The brain operates at a different frequency, which permits a quick doze without the mental lethargy.)

Further, being able to slam that snooze button gives you a certain feeling of control, which may manifest into feeling less of the morning rush.

4. Eat When Hungry

Isn’t it kind of funny how people who’ve “sworn off” breakfast will dash to the doughnut box that their coworker brought in? (You know who you are! *Shields eyes*

Some people prefer eating first thing in the morning, while others detest the idea of eating breakfast at all. Some may slam a cup of Joe or two and call it good.

eat when hungry - morning trick

But there are numerous reasons for eating something healthy during the morning hours. The most beneficial being, of course, is that your body receives vital nutrients after 7 to 9 hours of fasting – which is what sleep is, pretty much.

A healthy breakfast, even if it’s just a piece of fruit, stabilizes blood sugar, increases energy, and promotes cognitive activity. Also, make sure to drink some water. Sleep dehydrates us quite a bit.

5. Schedule Some Alone Time Each Morning

After you’ve eaten a bit or prepared your healthy brunch and drank some water (right?), it’s time for some me/us time.

Too many people rush around during the morning hours. Here’s why that’s bad:

Having to deal with a stress response first thing in the morning is more than counterproductive – it can derail your entire day.

Think about a typical story:

We rush around, looking for our keys/wallet/purse (“I swore they were right here!”). Finally, we find said object – but our brain is still in fight-or-flight mode.

Oh, and we’re probably late now.

As our brain is about to calm down from this morning’s first episode, some dimwit almost detaches our car’s bumper as he cuts us off.

We may or may not spew some expletives, but our brain is once again in fight-or-flight mode.

Just when things couldn’t possibly get any worse, there’s a traffic jam. Now, we’re really going to be late.

How do you think this affects us?

And darn near all of us have been there.

Take 10 minutes (more, if possible) to kiss your kids, meditate, read the paper – something that puts you in a peaceful state.

Ohmmm….

Researchers Reveal 8 Nutrients That Reverse ADHD Symptoms

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, is one of the most common childhood neurodevelopmental disorders in the Western world. Neuropsychiatric disorder causes symptoms such as inattentiveness, impulsivity, hyperactivity, and disorganization. Children diagnosed with the condition may have conduct problems in the classroom, such as interrupting the teacher or getting up from their seats.

Nearly twice as many boys get diagnosed with ADHD as girls, with seven years old being the average age of diagnosis. Experts estimate that ADHD affects about 1 in 20 people under 18. Around two-thirds of people suffering from the disorder will display symptoms into adulthood. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 4-5% of adults in the US have ADHD.

Doctors usually prescribe drugs such as Adderall or Ritalin to treat symptoms of ADHD. However, these medications often have unpleasant side effects like nausea, loss of appetite, fatigue, headaches, and stomach pain. Medication is necessary to manage symptoms effectively in some cases, but natural remedies and lifestyle changes can also help. We’ll go over a few common nutrients that can reduce symptoms of ADHD below.

Add These 8 Nutrients to Your Diet to Beat ADHD

impulsive adhd

1.     Bacopa

People have been using this tropical plant, also known as water hyssop, to enhance cognition for centuries. An Indian study involving 31 children with a previous diagnosis of ADHD discovered that bacopa reduced symptoms in 85% of children. In addition, symptom scores for restlessness and self-control improved in 93% and 89% of children.

The plant improves memory and concentration by regulating dopamine in the brain, enhancing cognitive abilities. However, it usually takes about 8-12 weeks to notice any cognitive improvements. If you’re interested, talk with your doctor before trying it, as it can interact with certain medications.

2. Pycnogenol

Derived from French maritime pine tree bark, pycnogenol contains powerful antioxidants that can improve concentration and memory in both children and adults. A 2006 study on pycnogenol dramatically reduced hyperactivity in children who took a daily pine bark supplement for four weeks. However, it can cause side effects such as fatigue, nausea, or vertigo, so start with a small dose to see how your body reacts.

If you have an autoimmune disease, doctors advise you not to take this supplement because it enhances immune system function.

3. Ginkgo Biloba

Ginkgo biloba comes from the nut of a tree native to China. Because of its ability to boost memory and attention, some doctors prescribe it to reduce dementia and Alzheimer’s symptoms. It’s also effective in treating ADHD symptoms, according to a 2014 German study involving 20 children. The researchers administered 240mg of ginkgo to the children for 3-5 weeks and noticed significant improvements in their cognitive functioning. However, they say that more studies are necessary before concluding.

4. Ginseng

For centuries, people have been using ginseng in traditional Chinese medicine to treat cancer, immune diseases, and nervous system disorders. It’s also known for enhancing brain function, increasing energy, and improving concentration.

The “red ginseng” variety, in particular, can reduce symptoms of ADHD, as shown in a 2011 study involving 18 children. Researchers administered 1,000mg of ginseng to the children for eight weeks and noticed improvements in their anxiety, social performance, and behavioral issues.

5. B-Complex Vitamin

Deficiencies in B vitamins — mainly B6 — can cause imbalances in neurotransmitters such as GABA, dopamine, and serotonin. This can lead to worsening ADHD symptoms like fatigue, irritability, and restlessness. However, studies show that supplementing with Vitamin B6 can increase alertness and reduce hyperactivity. Taking a B-complex that includes other essential B vitamins enhances brain activity is best.

6. Iron

Iron plays a pivotal role in many fundamental processes in the brain, such as neurotransmitter and DNA synthesis, oxygen transportation, and myelin production. Therefore, iron deficiencies can result in cognitive decline, brain fog, and inattentiveness. A 2004 study found that 84% of children with ADHD had abnormally low iron levels compared to just 18% of neurotypical kids. Another study published in Pediatric Neurology, showed that ADHD symptoms improved when children took 80 mg of iron per day.

7. Magnesium

Magnesium is a mineral that also helps with neurotransmitter synthesis, particularly those involved with attention. A small 2016 study found that 72% of the children diagnosed with ADHD had magnesium deficiencies. They showed significant improvements in cognitive function when supplementing with magnesium for eight weeks.

Another study found that eight-week-old children with ADHD who took magnesium and Vitamin D supplements had improved emotional and social health. They also had fewer conduct problems in school. Since Vitamin D lowers brain inflammation and boosts mood, it’s a crucial nutrient in protecting the brain from neurodevelopmental and neurodegenerative disorders.

8. Zinc

Finally, zinc plays an essential role in regulating dopamine, which occurs at insufficient levels in people with ADHD. However, a 2004 study published in BMC Psychiatry found that adding zinc supplements to the meals of 44 children with ADHD significantly improved their symptoms when combined with their standard medication. In addition to accessories, foods high in zinc include nuts, meats, shellfish, legumes, seeds, dairy, eggs, whole grains, and dark chocolate.

Hopefully, adding these nutrients to your diet will help you manage ADHD symptoms more quickly. Of course, talk with your doctor first to determine the best course of action for treatment. Some people may still require pharmaceutical interventions combined with lifestyle changes to notice improvements.

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Final Thoughts on Nutrients That Help ADHD

Studies show that nutrient deficiencies exacerbate ADHD symptoms, especially in young children. While pharmaceutical drugs can help treat the condition, they also have many side effects that sometimes counteract the benefits. Also, some people may notice improvements by altering lifestyle habits, such as diet and exercise.

Research shows that nutrients like zinc, iron, magnesium and B vitamins can improve ADHD symptoms. Also, supplements like Ginkgo Biloba, ginseng, bacopa, and pycnogenol have reduced hyperactivity and inattention. Before taking any supplements, discuss treatment plans with your doctor, especially if you’re taking medication.

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