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8 Habits That Make A Relationship Strong

October 25, 2017 by Chris Butler

Work, school, and other stressors can make it hard to maintain a strong relationship like when they first started in our day-to-day lives. It can be a struggle to get a relationship back where you want it to be.

“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.” – Gillian Anderson.

But like Nicholas Sparks mentioned, “Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.”

Luckily, there are plenty of things that can help strengthen a relationship and keep the feeling of love steady and strong. It’s the little things that help build up a relationship. Sure, you need the strong foundations to start with, but the more minor things help build up a relationship and keep it strong.

8 Habits That Make Relationships Strong

1. Check up on each other

When you both make it a habit to check in on one another, it can help strengthen the feeling of love between you. Couples who call one another after a long day at work to see how they’re feeling or send a text to make sure they made it home okay after a long journey will have a better connection and feel taken care of by one another. It’s such a small thing, but it can make a difference.

2. Laughing together

A couple who can share a sense of humor and laugh together will form emotional bonds that can help keep the relationship running strong.

Psychologist Doris Bazzini, Ph.D., says, “Laughter reminiscence packs an additional punch because people relive the moment by laughing again.”

Whether you decide to sit down with a funny movie or just an evening of watching funny YouTube videos, laughing together is essential. Once a couple laughs together, their brains will be wired to associate each other with happiness and laughter.

3. Sharing is caring

Whether it’s your feelings, or emotional and traumatic things from your past, learning to share with your partner can make your relationship that much stronger. Couples who feel as if they can tell one another anything will have a stronger connection than couples who are afraid to be vulnerable with one another. Strength comes from trusting one another, and couples who can share will have a strong and lasting relationship.

4. Good listening skills

Everyone wants to feel heard when they talk, so good listening skills are essential in any relationship. Everyone should be able to listen openly when their partner speaks. Letting your partner know that you’re listening to their feelings, fears, or concerns will help make it easier for them to trust and respect you. With trust comes strength in any relationship. Couples who are good at listening to one another will have a lasting, strong relationship.

5. Honesty is the best policy

Being completely honest will help keep the relationship strong, even if it’s not something that your partner wants to hear. Couples who can be honest about how they’re feeling, what they’re thinking, and their opinions on specific topics can keep their relationship strong.

“What honesty gives you is a great deal of comfort. Knowing you can implicitly trust your mate allows you to be your best self, and your relationship will continue to thrive because you can give each other the positive energy you need to navigate life’s ups and downs,” says psychotherapist, syndicated columnist, and radio host Barton Goldsmith Ph.D.

It’s essential to trust that your partner is going to be honest with you, no matter what.

6. Giving in to impulse

Being spontaneous helps ensure that the relationship doesn’t fall into a rut. If you want to get in the car and take a vacation one town over for the weekend, do it! If you’re going to make random plans, follow through!

“Over time, it’s inevitable that life falls into a pattern of routine and “same old, same old.” It’s easy to fall into behaviors that are reliable, steady, and boring as well. So it’s important to change it up from time to time to alter our thinking, provide a new perspective, and create interest and excitement,” says psychiatrist Abigail Brenner M.D.

Couples will have a strengthened relationship when they can go with the flow and give in to their impulses.

7. Take mental notes

Remembering what your partner likes and dislikes will mean that you’re paying close attention to your partner. Then, you’ll be able to show them that you’ve paid attention by giving them the things that they enjoy and avoiding the things they don’t. Couples who can focus on one another and take mental notes to remember the essential things will always have a strong relationship.

8. Teasing one another

Nothing has to be serious all the time! Couples should know when to give in and tease one another – especially if it means cheering one another up. Knowing when enough is an integral part of being able to tease one another. Couples with a strong relationship will know when to stop joking – but the teasing will help keep the relationship strong.

9. Resist blame-shifting

One habit that kills a strong relationship is blame-shifting. When you’re upset, it’s tempting to blame your partner. It’s never helpful to single out one person as solely responsible. Sometimes couples don’t realize they’ve fallen into blaming one another. Contrary to what you may believe, it’s not just abusive people who blame shift. It’s a common habit that couples slip into. Blame-shifting is telling the other person what’s wrong with them. It’s refusing to take responsibility for your attitudes instead of blaming your partner. Blame-shifting is subtle. It’s using is words or phrases like:

You never tell me anything
You’re always late for dinner
You started it. It’s not my fault.
I didn’t mean to be rude, but you made me mad.
I wouldn’t be so angry, but you…
You never help me. Why should I help you?

Blame-shifting damages your strong relationship. It’s important that you learn to take responsibility for your actions and words instead of placing the blame on your partner. Strong couples resist the urge to blame-shift. They learn how to work out their disagreements with gentle but kind words.

10. See the best in one another

Seeing the best in your partner means you believe they are trustworthy people. It means you trust them and the choices they make. You don’t feel better than them, nor do you feel inferior to them. These attitudes damage a strong relationship. Your partner knows you believe the best about them. They’re confident that you won’t drill them with a thousand questions when they get home. Strong relationships have a mutual trust for one another without accusations or jealousy.

11. Emotional encouragement

When you provide emotional support for your partner, you let them know you’ll stand with them in the good times and the bad times. You’re interested in how they feel about things. Strong couples learn to ask good, feeling-oriented questions to draw one another out. Questions you can request one another include:

How did that make you feel when your boss said that?
When your sister did that, how did you react?
What is one thing you worry about at work?
How did you feel when you heard that?

You may assume you know how your partner feels about something, but it’s always good to ask. This habit will make your relationship strong.

12. Encouragement

When you were first together, you and your partner probably encouraged one another. You probably told one another how wonderful you were and how much you loved each other. But after a few years, you may have slipped into assuming you don’t need to encourage one another anymore. Studies reveal that encouragement makes your significant other feel supported. Saying things as simple as:

I love being with you.
You are amazing.
I appreciate you did that for me.
Thank you for doing that.
You make me feel loved.
I’m so glad you’re mine.
I missed you today
I appreciate you taking the time to say that.

Strong couples make it a habit to encourage one another. They don’t assume the other person knows how they feel but make an effort to encourage.

13. Show mutual respect

A strong relationship comes from respect. When you respect someone, you regard their rights, feelings, and opinions. You show respect for your words and actions. Strong couples show respect by refusing to do these things:

Sarcastic or snarky responses
No eye-rolling
Being patient
Showing compassion
Allowing your partner to share their ideas
Apologizing when you make a mistake
Acknowledge their worth
Forgive quickly, not holding it over them.
Take responsibility for your actions and words

Mutual respect is a foundational habit that strong relationships are built on.

14. Mind your manner

It’s easy to slip into bad manners when you’re in a relationship. You may have good manners in public, but you don’t care at home. You’re rude and impolite. It may sound cliche, but practicing good manners around your partner shows them you respect them. Saying “please” and “thank you” makes your partner feel valued as a person. Greeting them when they get home with a hug and a kiss communicates your love. Good manners help you live together in peace with one another. It fosters a sense of security and even improves your happiness. It’s what strong people in solid relationships do.

15. Committed to their relationship

A strong relationship builds from commitment. Both partners work together to maintain the strength of the relationship. They say, “We’re in this for the duration.” They do the hard work they should make their relationship strong. They talk about hopes and expectations in their relationship. A strong couple realizes their weaknesses and works to overcome them. Celebrating life together is significant to them. They plan holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays together. If you’re committed to your relationship, you’re willing to talk about what irritates you without belittling your partner. You ask for input about your weaknesses. A strong couple is committed to one another. They’d rather face the storms of life together rather than apart.

16. Value spirituality

Strong relationships value spirituality. You can talk about your beliefs in God with your partner without fear of judgment. Both partners are willing to listen and ask questions. Knowing what one another believes should be a long conversation you have early in your relationship because your religious values are significant to your relationship. It’s not a good idea to tell a partner that religion is super important to you after six months of dating and never bringing it up. Studies show that people who take part in religious services are more hopeful and happier about their life. Good chance, valuing spirituality will not only make your relationship strong but increase your happiness and hope in life.

17. Plan the future together

One habit of strong couples is to talk and plan your future together. The more you talk, the more you understand one another’s goals, dreams, and desires for the future. You talk about things like:

Work goals
Dreams for your home
Saving money for a trip to Europe
Willingness to invest in stocks
Plans for vacation or holidays
Making family members a priority to visit

18. Use good listening techniques

Good listening skills are essential for a relationship. When you listen to your partner, you show them you care enough to hear their thoughts and opinions. Looking at your phone while they’re talking to you hinders your ability to listen well. It also tells your partner you’re not interested in what they’re saying. Being an active listener improves your communication and improves the overall happiness of your relationship. Strong couples value good listening skills and desire to grow in this area.

19. Have the same friends

When you’re in a relationship, it’s healthy to have your friends, but strong relationships make it a priority to have friends in common. Hanging out with other couples strengthens your connection. You realize that other people have similar struggles as you two. Being together with other couples gives your relationship a different context and perspective. You see strengths and weaknesses in other couples, which you can decide you want or don’t want in your relationship. It builds you together as a couple to have these common friendships.

20. Honesty about your relationship

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you always “feel” in love with another person. It means you sometimes feel mad at your partner, but it doesn’t cancel out your commitment to them. A strong relationship builds from honesty, and your relationship has its ups and downs, but that’s okay.

Final Thoughts On Building Strong Relationships

Relationships can start to falter when you’re least expecting it. Knowing the types of things that will keep the ties sturdy can help make sure that your relationship is still as strong and healthy as the day you got together. Couples who can laugh together, be honest, and trust one another will always have a long-lasting and strong relationship, no matter the trials and tribulations that life puts them through.

Strong relationships don’t just happen. A good relationship takes effort and establishes good habits. These twenty habits that make a relationship strong are hard work, but if you incorporate them into your relationship, it will be strong and resilient as you face the storms of life together.

Why You Should Never Skip Breakfast, According To Science

October 25, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Dawn’s first light isn’t just a marker of a new day; it’s the herald of an opportunity. An opportunity to nourish our bodies, energize our minds, and set the tone for the hours that lie ahead. Many of us, in the hustle of our daily routines, might overlook or sidestep the first meal of the day. Yet, breakfast, affectionately coined the “most important meal,” holds more weight in that adage than one might initially perceive.

This isn’t merely about sating morning hunger or pairing a hot beverage with a tasty bite. It’s about grounding ourselves, preparing our metabolisms, and making a conscious decision to provide our bodies with the fuel it craves and deserves.

As we dig deeper into the world of breakfast and its many benefits, let’s remember that beyond the science and statistics, breakfast is a warm embrace for the soul, a gentle reminder that every day is a fresh start. Join us on this culinary journey as we uncover why starting the day with a nourishing meal is a gesture of self-love and an investment in our overall well-being.

Let’s talk about what the studies show about the morning meal:

The majority of researchers agree that people should not skip breakfast! Here’s why:

1. It’s Great for Overall Health

In a 16-year study conducted at Harvard University, researchers evaluated the risk of coronary heart disease (CHD) occurrence of nearly 27,000 American men.

Men who skipped breakfast had higher rates of hypertension, high cholesterol, and diabetes. “Men who skipped breakfast had a 27% higher risk of CHD compared with men who did not,” the authors state.

Further, men who skip breakfast are likelier to eat late at night. This is a big no-no: “Compared with men who did not eat late at night, those who (did) had a 55% higher CHD risk.”

2. Breakfast Boosts Your Memory!

In a study released in the Journal of Adolescent Health, researchers studied the relationship – if any – between breakfast and short-term memory.

319 individuals aged 13 to 20 years demonstrate that “high energy intake from breakfast had a beneficial effect on immediate recall in short-term memory…”

Another study found that certain breakfast foods, such as oatmeal, improved elementary-aged kids’ short-term and spatial abilities.

3. Cereal Improves Mental Well-being!

In a study, researchers discovered that volunteers who ate breakfast before academic tests outperformed students who skipped the morning meal.

Scientists believe the essential nutrients contained in foods like fresh fruits, oatmeal, whole grain cereals, and eggs, make us less susceptible to sluggishness and irritability.

4. Breakfast Enhances Cognitive Function!

We’ve already noted that breakfast foods help short-term memory and mental well-being. It’s no surprise, then, that breakfast boosts concentration and focus as well!

In a 2008 study published in the journal of Indian Pediatrics, researchers concluded that middle-school children who ate breakfast every day had better attention, concentration, memory, and (overall) achievement than kids who only sometimes or never ate breakfast.

Scientists note that glucose – the brain’s primary energy source–decreases rapidly during sleep. A healthy breakfast comprising fruit, eggs, oatmeal, and yogurt helps regulate blood sugar levels and support optimal cognitive function.

5. It Keeps Weight Off!

While eating to keep weight off (admittedly!) sounds counterintuitive, breakfast bucks this perception.

Harvard University, in a study of 17,000 men, found that “those who frequently ate breakfast cereal – both refined grain or the whole-grain types consistently weighed less than those who rarely or never ate breakfast cereal.”

It’s been accepted fact for quite some time that eating smaller meals more frequently (5-6 times daily) increases the body’s metabolism; which also helps keep those extra pounds off. Combining this knowledge with a healthy breakfast, preferably a whole-grain cereal, is a powerful one-two punch for keeping the weight off!

The Best Foods

So, we’ve established by now that breakfast is pretty darned important! Not all foods are created equal, of course, so we’ve come up with a short list of uber-healthy breakfast foods.

Here are some ideas:

Eggs: They’re healthy and delicious, of course, but they’re also packed with high-quality protein and other brain and muscle-boosting nutrients.
Oatmeal: Oatmeal is a staple breakfast food for millions, and for plenty of good reasons. Oats are rich in folate, omega-3 fatty acids, and potassium. Oatmeal also contains a fiber called beta-glucan, which promotes blood and heart health by lowering cholesterol.
Greek Yogurt: Greek yogurt packs twice as much protein as regular yogurt, which helps keep us full. It’s also loaded with calcium, which aids bone health.
Bananas: Bananas are a nutritious and incredibly versatile fruit. They’re brimming with potassium and healthy starch, which helps us feel full. Sliced bananas are delicious in oatmeal, cereal, and yogurt – adding natural sweetness without the sugar.
Strawberries: Like bananas, strawberries are loaded with nutrients and can be added to just about every kind of breakfast food. Strawberries are considered superfoods because they’re so high in antioxidants and relatively low in calories. Just one cup of strawberries gives you a full recommended daily intake (RDI) of vitamin C.
Grapefruit: While a bit too bitter for some, grapefruit is brimming with nutrients. The fruit contains fat-burning properties and has beneficial effects on blood sugar and insulin levels. It’s also loaded with antioxidants.

Other great morning foods: wheat germ, flaxseed, watermelon, blueberries, coffee, tea, and cantaloupe.

15 Hidden Behaviors That Hurt Relationships (And How To Avoid Them)

October 25, 2017 by Power of Positivity

A relationship can be excellent. Right up until it isn’t.

John Lennon once said, “We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”

We’ve all had relationships that have felt as if they would go on forever. But they just couldn’t stand up to the stress or the problems endured in the end. Knowing the types of things that can cause a solid relationship to grow weak can help you avoid making the same errors.

Once you know the common issues that kill a relationship, you will learn how to avoid them or work on the problems and strengthen your relationship.

Here Are 15 Habits That Can Destroy Relationships And How To Avoid Them

1. Unkindness

No one wants to think that they’re being unkind to their significant other. And usually, partners aren’t being aloof overtly or cruelly. But instead, a time comes in a relationship where couples no longer support one another unconditionally. Instead, you may start saying “no” to things your significant other asks of you. This unkindness is subtler, and it can grow into resentment or feeling as if your partner doesn’t care about you.

How to avoid it?

To avoid this, make sure that you give your partner your full attention when they ask something of you. Say ‘yes’ more often. Let your partner know you care about them by accepting what they say to you.

Remember, “Research has shown that the way a problem is brought up determines both how the rest of that conversation will go and how the rest of the relationship will go,” says certified Gottman therapist Carrie Cole, M.Ed., LPC-S.

2. Fights that never end

When the relationship starts to crumble, you may find that you’re getting into fights with your significant other that don’t ever seem to have an end. You could be fighting over a ridiculous thing – it often doesn’t matter who’s right, but it’s the principle.

“There are good rows and bad rows but make no mistake – everybody argues. Ridiculing or humiliating each other is not a good idea, or a good omen,” says author Kate Figes. Frequently, these fights aren’t even about the matter at hand. Instead, they’re about feeling hurt, misunderstood, or taken advantage of.

How to avoid it?

Learn to take responsibility for yourself, your words, or your actions. You may not have intended to hurt your partner, but that could have happened. When you get defensive and can feel one of those never-ending fights coming on, try encouraging your partner to tell you why they’re upset and what you could do to make it better because “you are more likely to understand each other better,” adds Figes.

After all, it takes two people to argue.

3. Feeling lonely after a fight

After a fight that doesn’t seem to have a resolution, couples often isolate themselves to let the frustration and anger in the room dissipate. While it may be good every once in a while to go and cool off, it starts to get lonely. The love connection starts to falter when we don’t have the one person we count on to make us feel better by our sides after a fight. If you’re left to feel lonely after a row, it can cause resentment.

How to avoid it?

The best way to avoid this particular issue is to deal with it. After the fight has ended, it’s time to talk about it. Unpack what went wrong and why each other’s feelings got hurt. Validate what your partner is saying to you, and understand where you might have gone wrong. And remember to explain yourself as well. Tell your partner how you feel, so they can know where you’re coming from.

4. Changing history

When a relationship starts to go wrong, you may find that you begin rewriting things in your head a bit. To protect yourself, you start imagining that you were never in love with your partner in the first place. After all, it’s easier to leave a relationship you were never invested in than to leave one that you know will take pieces of you with it. You may begin to change the history of your relationship in your head entirely, just to make it easier for yourself to move on.

How to avoid it?

The way to fix this is to let your vulnerability show. Sit down with your partner and explain how you feel. When you have arguments, let yourself show the softer and more vulnerable side. Instead of turning away from your partner, turn towards them. They can’t help you keep history right unless you let them.

5. Your partner is a stranger

It can feel weird to sleep beside someone you had just gotten into a massive argument with. They had hurt your feelings, and now you return to your marriage bed, and it can feel like your partner is a stranger to you. You may begin to tell yourself that you never really knew them. You begin to think negatively about your partner and focus only on the negative things about them rather than all of the beautiful and good things they make you feel.

How to avoid it?

Instead of letting this fester, give your partner unexpected kindness. They may be feeling the same way. Show them that you love them through actions, and they’ll be able to do the same thing. “Becoming a more effective partner is the most efficient way to assure a loving, intimate relationship,” says psychotherapist, counselor, and author Judy Ford.

Remember all of the good things about your partner that they have shown you throughout your time together. Start showing the good parts of yourself again, too – and your partner will feel compelled to do the same.

6. Lack of communication

Lack of communication hurts a relationship. You know you can’t read your partner’s mind, so you need to ask them questions to draw them out. Good communication involves listening, asking questions to clarify what you heard, and honestly sharing your thoughts. Choose to be kind, even if you’re talking about a potentially hot topic.

How do we avoid a lack of communication?

Make communication a priority. Schedule one evening a week to just talk. You may want to have a topic to discuss. Be sure to choose to listen, ask questions, and share honestly.

7. Disrespect

Disrespect tells your partner you don’t care about them. Whether or not you realize it, there are many little things you do that are disrespectful. Disrespectfulness can be:

Eye rolling
Snarky comments
Forgetting to do something, they asked… time after time.
The sarcastic tone of voice.
Shaking your head about what they said.

These things belittle your partner and show you don’t value who they are as a person. Some people learn disrespect from their parent’s relationship. They assume this is the way a relationship should be.

How to avoid being disrespectful?

Break the cycle of disrespect. Choose to show respect for your words and actions. Value what your partner says, even if you disagree with them. They have a right to their opinion. Refuse to give in to the list above.

8. Lack compassion

Everyone needs compassion and empathy. A lack of understanding is hurtful to a relationship. When your partner is struggling at work, they need you to show kindness and not be critical of them. Criticism, backbiting, and judgment tears down relationships.

How to avoid a lack of compassion?

The best way to show compassion is to remember a golden rule to treat others the way you want someone to treat you. You want your partner to show you kindness when you’re going through difficulties, so show them the same.

9. Mistrust and jealousy

Jealousy tears a relationship apart. Relationships built on mistrust are more likely to fall apart. Repeatedly asking where your partner was or want to see their phone texts at work is assuming the worst about your partner. It assumes they are cheating on you.

How to avoid mistrust and jealousy:

Look for ways to build trust. Do things such as the following behaviors:

Keep your promises
Be home when you say you’ll be home
Don’t act secretive about where you’ve been. Be honest.
If you say you’ll do something for your partner, do it.
Be wise about who you follow and talk with on your social media.

Understanding how mistrust can jeopardize your relationship will help you work together as a couple to embrace trust and let go of jealousy.

10. Can’t laugh at themselves

Joking around and teasing are healthy parts of a relationship. If you take yourself too seriously, it’s not healthy. You may need to seek counseling if you’re too fragile to be teased. If you’re too proud to laugh at yourself, you need to humble yourself. No one is perfect, so it’s good to laugh at the imperfections.

How to avoid not laughing at yourself:

Researchers say that laughter has physiological benefits. Laughing helps reduce your stress and anxiety. Find ways to laugh by seeing the funny side of parenting, money issues, or broken pipes in your house. Whatever it is, try to lighten up the tension with a sweet joke or kind-hearted tease.

11. Not willing to change

When you’re in a relationship, your imperfections come out of hiding. Things that no one else knows about you, your partner will see. It’s a chance to be vulnerable and also potentially change. Maybe you never clean up after yourself. If you aren’t motivated to change and expect your partner to clean up after you, this will hurt your relationship.

How to avoid not wanting to change:

Be willing to change where you need to. If you love your partner, you’ll be ready to break bad habits that can hurt your relationship.

12. Not wanting to get to know friends and family members

Another harmful attitude in a relationship is when a partner refuses to get to know their partner’s friends or family members. Having a partner who won’t accept the people you love is painful. Your family is who you are. If your partner won’t accept them, it says something about how they feel about you.

How to avoid not wanting to meet your partner’s friends and family:

It’s simple, be willing to accept these people because your partner values them.

13. Negativity

Negativity hurts a relationship. It puts a damper on the atmosphere of the home. When you’re negative, you’re more prone to worry and feel overwhelmed by problems. Negativity can even affect your health.

How to avoid negativity:

Couples who focus on upbeat, positive ways to fix their problems fare better than those who don’t. Choose to be positive. Look for the good instead of seeing only the bad.

14. Lack faith in God

Studies show that individuals with faith in God are better at facing life’s challenges. Relationships built on faith in God have the depth to them. These couples look to something bigger than themselves to solve their problems. They don’t expect their partner to meet all their needs because they don’t find their identity in their partner but in God, their creator. This avoids putting pressure on your partner to be your “savior.”

How to avoid lack of faith in God:

Grow your faith together by attending church, reading spiritual books, and talking about what’s essential in life.

15. Not being humble

When you’re not humble, you are more focused on yourself than your relationship. It becomes all about how you feel and what you want. This drains the life out of your relationship. Humility says, “We’re all a mess. Let’s work together to fix our stuff.”

How to avoid not being humble:

Look for ways to humble yourself. Ask your partner for examples of how you come across as prideful. Maybe it’s how you talk or what you say. Get their input and then attempt to change.

Final Thoughts On Avoiding Behaviors That Harm Your Relationship

Falling out of love can happen before you even know it. By then, the relationship is already over. Instead of letting your relationship fail due to typical issues, learn the signs of a faltering relationship and be ready to take action to correct it. Sometimes, we may have to look deep into ourselves and ask if we’re bringing our best selves into the relationship. If the answer is no, then it’s time to change and show our partners that we love them through our actions.

“We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” – Barbara De Angelis

You know that your relationship isn’t perfect, but these hidden behaviors can hurt your relationship. If you value your partner and your connection, look at this list and find a couple of areas where you can change. The slightest attempt can reap big rewards. Your healthy, happy relationship is worth the effort.

4 Behaviors of Someone Who is Emotionally Unstable

October 25, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Being emotionally unstable can signify a more significant issue within a person. In addition, an emotionally unstable person might have a personality disorder such as borderline personality disorder. It can also indicate childhood trauma, depression, or anxiety disorder. The signs of an emotionally unstable person can vary. They may show signs of depression and anxiety while exhibiting several behaviors that can affect themselves and the people around them.

Counselling Directory adds, “They may also have intense bouts of anger, anxiety or depression that can last several hours or even days. Mood swings will vary between periods of dysphoria to periods of euphoria, and from manic self-confidence to severe anxiety and irritability.”

If you know someone you suspect may be emotionally unstable, it’s essential to recognize the signs to understand them better and what they need. You’ll also be prepared to support them without allowing their behaviors to affect you personally or to get them the help that they need to work through these behaviors.

“Your emotions are very unstable and should never be the foundation for direction in your life.” – Joyce Me

Here Are Four Behaviors Of Someone Who’s Emotionally Unstable

Everyone experiences bouts of emotional or mental instability at some point in life. We must each deal with an unexpected death of a friend, a job loss, or heartbreak when we least expect it. Irrational thinking is an expected reaction–to a point. However, most of us can easily pull ourselves out of a tailspin after such an event.

But past traumas and mental illnesses can cause people to lack coping skills for dealing with it when life throws curve balls into their lives. And we should be concerned when this emotional instability becomes intrusive in someone’s life.

Identifying when someone lacks emotional stability can help avoid finding yourself in a challenging or unsafe situation. Look for these unstable behaviors.

1. Emotionally unstable people display impulsive actions

Someone who is emotionally unstable may be more prone to act impulsively. They may do things that could harm themselves and others without thinking it through.

For example, emotionally unstable people may be more likely to drive their cars extremely fast. Or they might drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Their impulsive actions are much more likely to be geared toward danger. In addition, they might also be more prone to impulsive spending or gambling. They have very little self-control and may not entirely understand delayed gratification. Doing these things may make them feel suitable for short periods because they cannot.

2. Emotionally immature people often have anger issues

One of the biggest hallmarks of an emotionally unstable person is an ongoing struggle with anger issues. An emotionally unstable person will often have issues controlling how they express their anger. They may snap back and forth between being perfectly pleasant and being furious. They’re not able to control their emotions healthily.

While they may just as well be prone to outbursts of sadness or happiness, their anger is much more damaging. They may shout and scream when they’re angry, or they may express their anger through violent actions. This doesn’t always mean they’ll physically harm the person they’re angry with, but they may slam doors and push objects.

However, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry Dr. Carol W. Berman states, “The most important tool is not to internalize the person’s behavior or take it too personally. Remember, it’s not about you. People with borderline personality disorder aren’t fully aware of their behavior and the effect on other people.”

3. On again, off-again relationships are a hallmark of emotionally unstable people

Someone who is emotionally unstable will also have difficulty keeping their relationships stable. They may volley between feeling very affectionately towards a person and then feeling angry at them shortly afterward.

Not only that, but they have a hard time keeping a stable relationship. They may start arguments and break up with their significant others, only to want to get back together after a few hours or days.

Former FBI Counterintelligence Agent and author Joe Navarro, M.A. said the following about emotional instability in a 2016 article in Psychology Today:

No one calls them “eggshell relationships,” but that is what they turn into. Relationships where you have to tread lightly—each day you wake up you are figuratively having to walk on eggshells because your partner or someone you know behaves or acts all too frequently with a constellation of traits that are just simply toxic. So toxic, that you have to be ever so careful around them lest they lash out at you. They do so because they are emotionally unstable.”

Their romantic relationships aren’t the only ones that suffer, however. Emotionally stable people have difficulty maintaining any relationships. Their friendships can suffer as well as their relationships with their family members. They may be estranged from their families and friends because their relationships suffer.

4. Emotionally unstable people have extreme reactions

Much like their anger issues, emotionally unstable people often have extreme reactions to real or perceived situations. If they perceive that they’re being wronged somehow, they may have a stronger reaction immediately instead of discovering more about the situation. Their perception of the world may be off, and they will react to that rather than the reality of the situation.

One of the most common perceptions that can cause an extreme reaction in emotionally unstable people is perceived abandonment. If they feel like their family or friends are abandoning them, whether or not this is true, it can cause an extremely adverse reaction.

Final Thoughts on Knowing When Someone Is Emotionally Unstable

People who suffer from emotional instability often have suffered through some trauma. They have had trouble developing the necessary tools to keep their emotions in line. Often, emotionally unstable people can benefit from a solid support system, therapy, and sometimes medication.

Emotionally unstable people often don’t mean to affect the people around them, but it can sometimes happen. If someone you know and are close to has issues with being emotionally stable, recognizing these behaviors can help you figure out what type of help they need to get them on the right track.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

20 Signs of An Autoimmune Disorder (And How To Reverse It)

October 24, 2017 by Chris Butler

In the United States, we are currently experiencing an autoimmune disease epidemic. Here are a couple of statistics to consider:

Autoimmune disorders have increased by three hundred percent over the last fifty years.
Autoimmune disorders affect between 50 and 75 million Americans.
It is the third leading cause of chronic illness (besides heart disease and cancer).

Sometimes, it’s necessary to construct a health article that, on the surface, may seem depressing!

Please understand that we wish to inform all of our readers about the risks of certain diseases; and, more importantly, provide some valuable insight on the prevention and (when possible) treatment of health disorders.

Affirmation for Living With an Autoimmune Disorder

Here’s a beautiful phrase applicable to autoimmune diseases, found on Pinterest:

I fight for my health

Every day in ways

Most People Don’t Understand.

I Am Not Lazy.

I Am A WARRIOR.

What Is an Autoimmune Disorder?

Although there are many types of autoimmune disorders and diseases, they all have one thing in common: an immune system that attacks itself.

The immune system is an intricate structure that has evolved to safeguard our health from foreign substances, e.g., toxins, that we encounter.

When some foreign material, whatever it may be, enters the body, our immune system immediately analyzes it and determines whether it is “friend or foe.” If foe, the immune system will produce antibodies to neutralize them.

Autoimmune disorders develop when the body is trying to fight off an allergen, infection, food, or toxin; and fails to distinguish between the intrusive substance and those naturally produced by the body.

The immune system is no different than most other parts of the body – it can change if exposed to prolonged stress. If this happens, our immune system may begin attacking healthy cells and tissues, triggering specific symptoms.

Twenty Common Signs of a Developing Autoimmune Condition

“I have recently been diagnosed with Sjogren’s Syndrome, an autoimmune disease which is an ongoing medical condition that affects my energy level and causes fatigue and joint pain.” ~ Venus Williams

As autoimmune disorders are wide-ranging in both the number and types of symptoms experienced, we will classify the signs according to body area. In this case, we will list symptoms that affect the adrenal glands, brain, gastrointestinal (GI) tract, joints and muscles, sinus, mouth and lungs, skin, and thyroid gland.

Brain signs:

1 – Anxiety: a persistent feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease.

2 – Attention deficit: difficulty sustaining attention, hyperactivity, impulsiveness.

3 – Brain fog: lack of mental clarity and decline in cognitive performance.

4 – Headaches: continuous pain around the head area.

GI tract:

5 – Bloating: swelling of the abdomen by fluid or gas.

6 – Constipation: an inability to pass stool.

7 – Stomach cramping: painful sensations around the abdominal area.

Joints & Muscles:

8 – Muscle Pain and Weakness: general muscle or muscle area pain.

9 – Joint and Muscle Stiffness and Pain: Might indicate fibromyalgia or rheumatoid arthritis.

Sinus, Mouth, & Lungs:

10 – Allergies: response by the body to a substance.

11 – Asthma: a condition marked by spasms in the lungs’ bronchi.

12 – Dry Mouth: reduced production of saliva within the mouth.

13 – Frequent Colds: increased susceptibility (usually, frequency) to colds.

Skin:

14 – Acne: a condition characterized by red pimples on the face.

15 – Dermatitis: skin that is red, swollen, and sore, sometimes containing small blisters.

16 – Eczema: skin that becomes rough and inflamed, with blisters that cause itching and bleeding.

17 – Psoriasis: a skin disease marked by red, itchy, scaly patches.

18 – Rosacea: enlargement of the facial blood vessels, giving the cheeks and nose a flushed appearance.

Thyroid (besides anxiety and fatigue, mentioned earlier):

19 – General malaise: a general feeling of discomfort, illness, or uneasiness.

20 – Weight fluctuations: rapid weight gain or loss in short periods.

Tips on Reversing Autoimmune Diseases and Disorders

Some estimate that environmental factors contribute about 75% to an immune disorder, while 25% are genetic. The environmental factors are definitively within our control.

Amy Myers, MD, and former Grave’s Disease patient, says:

“Through my experience as a functional medicine physician and working with thousands of autoimmune patients, I have identified five environmental factors that play a key role in the creation of autoimmune diseases:

Leaky gut

Diet

Toxins

Infections

Stress”

Dr. Myers explains that all of the above factors are a burden on the immune system; and that by addressing them, it is possible to return your immune system to its optimal state.

For example, leaky gut – a condition wherein the digestive tract experiences bloating, cramps, gas, foods sensitivities, aches, and pains – can be helped by consuming more probiotics.

10 Impacts of Living With an Autoimmune Disorder

People who have an autoimmune disorder commonly report the following realities in their lives. To do that, we will expand on some of the most prevalent symptoms above and explain how to deal with them.

1. Fatigue

Many people say that the first sign of an autoimmune disorder is debilitating fatigue. Fatigue is a common symptom of several different autoimmune diseases–which differs from being tired. It’s overwhelming exhaustion. Researchers aren’t clear why autoimmune diseases cause fatigue, but if you notice, even when you get a good night’s sleep, you feel exhausted. It might be good to get some blood work done to rule out the problem.

2. Gut problems

Some autoimmune disorders affect your digestive system. You may experience diarrhea, gas, cramping, or bloating. If you are experiencing changes like these in your gut, talk with your gastroenterologist. To rule out cancer, they may have you get a colonoscopy, a painless examination of your large and small bowel with a camera on a small tube that’s passed through your anus. If the scope is negative, your doctor may suggest you have an autoimmune condition, such as

Crohn’s disease
Ulcerative colitis
Celiac disease
Autoimmune hepatitis

Your gastroenterologist may prescribe a diet change or medication to relieve your symptoms.

3. Joint swelling and pain

Painful joints, swelling, and redness can occur if your autoimmune system attacks your joints. Over time, the inflammation from these attacks can cause damage to your bones and cartilage. This makes moving painful and even impossible for some people. Medications can slow down the progression of an autoimmune disorder but not cure it. Rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune disorder that attacks healthy joint tissues. It can even lead to heart problems.

4. Skin color changes, rash or blistering

Skin problems are another standard indicator of an autoimmune condition. This happens when your immune system attacks your skin. Symptoms may include:

Swelling
Itching
Stiffness
Loss of pigment
Red patches
Purple bumps

Lupus is an autoimmune disorder that affects women more than men. It occurs when your body attacks your organs and tissues, causing inflammation. You can also get skin lesions from sun exposure.

5. Tingling or numbness

Don’t ignore it if you’re experiencing numbness or tingling sensations in your arms or legs. It could be an early sign of multiple sclerosis. This is an autoimmune disorder impact that can lead to death if not treated properly. This disease damages the myelin sheath, the protective layers around the cells of your nervous system. That’s what causes the pain, tingling, and numbness you feel. If you notice these signs, get a checkup right away.

6. Weight Gain or weight loss

If you suddenly gain or lose weight without trying, it could signify you have an autoimmune disorder. Thyroid conditions, which are common autoimmune disorders, could be the culprit of your weight changes. Women are especially at risk for thyroid problems. Other common thyroid signs include:

Constipation
Hair loss
Insomnia
Puffiness in your face
Hoarse voice
Fatigue
Weakness

Your doctor will do a blood test to check your thyroid levels are normal. Thyroid autoimmune disorders run in families. If other older family members suffer from this condition, there is a good chance you could too.

7. Nervousness or jittery

If you’re feeling restless and nervous, you may suffer from an autoimmune condition’s early symptoms that affect your thyroid gland. Grave’s disease is when your immune system attacks your thyroid gland. This causes your thyroid to produce too much hormone, making you feel jittery, irritable, and nervous. Your heart may beat too fast, and you feel extremely sensitive to the cold or heat.

8. Recurring fevers

Off and on fevers are common characteristics of an autoimmune disorder. These unexplained, recurrent fevers can hit at random times. Most of the time, the fevers don’t last long, but they will eventually stick around as other symptoms follow. If you experience recurring fevers, talk with your doctor about these symptoms. They will do tests to rule out certain diseases like cancer or infection.

9. Muscle weakness or soreness

Muscle soreness or weakness is joint for those who eventually develop an autoimmune disorder. The soreness may affect different muscles in your body. This soreness may feel like a deep bone type of soreness. These symptoms are hard to distinguish from overexertion or too much gardening after a workout. But if you notice the soreness persists and isn’t connected to physical activity, you may want to get it checked out.

10. Headache

Do you get headaches that tend to linger a long time? Maybe you suffer from migraines on an ongoing basis, but your doctor can’t figure out the cause. They may treat your symptoms but not get to the root cause. Headaches are easily dismissed as stress, allergies, or weather changes. If you notice you’re getting a lot of headaches and your doctor can’t figure out the cause, you may want to see a specialist who deals with autoimmune disorders. They can run tests to eliminate other causes and discern whether you have an autoimmune disease.

Final Thoughts On Understanding the Signs Of An Autoimmune Disorder

Autoimmune disorders are challenging to diagnose. Their symptoms are very similar to so many other illnesses. It may take years before you get a complete diagnosis of your condition. Fortunately, an autoimmune specialist can do blood tests to look for specific blood markers to show you have an autoimmune disorder. This test may not tell you which autoimmune disease since they are similar. Here are some things you can do to help get an accurate diagnosis of an autoimmune disorder

Please keep track of your symptoms: How long they last and when they occurred. Be sure to share this information with your doctor.
Learn if certain health conditions run in your family: Many autoimmune disorders are genetic. Learn your family’s health history. Talk to your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and parents. Sometimes people mention a condition you never heard of until you asked.
See a specialist who deals with your symptoms: See a dermatologist if you’re losing the pigment on your face.

25 Amazing Uses for Witch Hazel

October 24, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Witch hazel is an extract from the bark and leaves of a plant called Hamamelis virginiana, a wildly versatile substance. And it’s cheap, too! You can use it in your daily beauty and bathroom routine, on your skin, and all kinds of other things. Some of the most popular uses for witch hazel are for beauty routines, but there’s no end in sight for what witch hazel can do.

25 Incredibly Amazing Uses For Witch Hazel You Didn’t Know About

“Witch hazel is a mild astringent. It cools the skin, relieves redness, and tightens the pores. It is also antimicrobial, so it helps to fight breakouts.” – Robert Hensley, Aesthetician and Celebrity Makeup Artist

1. REMOVE YOUR MAKEUP

Instead of buying make up remover or dirtying another washcloth, use some witch hazel in a handmade makeup remover recipe! It’ll save you time and money at the end of the day when you’re getting rid of all your hard to remove makeup.

2. CLEAN YOUR SKIN

Witch hazel is perfect for getting rid of all the excess oil on your skin and sweat and dirt. It doesn’t dry your skin out, either! Use some witch hazel once a day to clean your face and you’ll be amazed at how great you feel. According to aesthetician and celebrity makeup artist, Robert Hensley, “Applying witch hazel to the skin with a cotton round after a shower or after physical exertion helps to save your complexion in the summer months.”

3. ACNE TREATMENT

When you clean your skin with witch hazel, your acne will start to clear up because you’re already getting rid of all that excess oil that irritates your skin and causes breakouts. It’ll unclog your pores and let your acne dry out and heal up.

4. SHRINKING PORES

Open pores are the bane of anyone’s existence. A bit of witch hazel is the best way to close them up and make them smaller. This is especially good if you suffer from acne or overly oily skin.

5. DANDRUFF TREATMENT

Dandruff is both annoying and a little embarrassing. If you’re struggling to figure out the best way to get rid of that dry, flaky skin on your scalp – just massage some witch hazel into your scalp! Wash it off with your regular shampoo and conditioner. It’ll help clear your dandruff right up.

6. PREVENT OR REDUCE STRETCH MARKS

This is perfect for pregnant women, or anyone who struggles with fluctuating weight. Stretch marks can be prevented altogether, or their appearance of them reduced with just a bit of witch hazel. It tightens the loose skin around the marks and makes them smaller.

7. REDUCE VARICOSE VEINS

Varicose veins often pop up in pregnant women, and they can be uncomfortable and unsightly. Witch hazel can help reduce their appearance as well as alleviate the discomfort that they may cause.

8. REDUCE DARK CIRCLES UNDER YOUR EYES

When we’re tired, bags tend to form under our eyes. This is especially true for people who work busy hours or are still students! Witch hazel tightens the skin, which will help reduce the appearance of those dark, baggy circles under the eyes.

9. REDUCE PUFFY EYES

Allergies, exhaustion, crying, or any other irritant can cause your eyes to get a little puffy and red. This can be uncomfortable, so the best way to get rid of them is to dab a cotton ball with witch hazel and set it on your closed eye. Wait about ten minutes, and there should be a marked reduction in inflammation! Dermatologist Dr. Ellen Marmur stated, “Witch Hazel has an astringent in it, kind of like alcohol, so what it does is, it shrinks things down. It can shrink down the puffy bags under the eyes, constricting the blood vessel, we call that vesoconstriction.”

10. CONTROL FRIZZY HAIR

Does your hair get out of control frizzy when you let it dry? Mix a bit of shampoo in with some witch hazel before washing frizzy hair, and the results will be stunning. It can help tame the frizziness!

11. NATURAL DEODORANT

Making natural deodorant is easy as pie with a half cup of witch hazel, quarter teaspoon of baking soda, quarter cup of aloe vera, and ten drops of any essential oil you like! Mix together and put in a spray bottle for natural, chemical free deodorant.

12. RELIEVE DIAPER RASH

If you have a baby who’s prone to getting a sore bum, witch hazel is a great and natural way to soothe that diaper rash. Apply it to your baby’s skin with a cotton ball for quick relief.

13. SOOTHE CHICKEN POX

While there’s no real cure to chicken pox other than to wait them out, the best way to help soothe your child’s discomfort is a bit of witch hazel! Mix it in with some water and dab it on the itchy area. It should soothe discomfort and alleviate the itching.

14. TREAT RAZOR BURN

This is great for any area that you’re shaving, be it your legs, underarms or face. Applying some witch hazel to your skin after shaving will reduce the inflammation, which can soothe and even prevent razor burn. Dr. Ellen Marmur mentions that, “A lot of people use Witch Hazel after shaving, also to make the redness go away, because it is an anti-inflammatory. And lastly, it’s an antioxidant.”

15. SOOTHE SUNBURN

If you end up out in the sun without sunscreen, you may accidentally find yourself with a bit of burnt shoulders. Witch hazel’s anti-inflammatory nature is perfect for treating the discomfort of sunburn, as well as speeding up the healing process and preventing too much peeling.

16. SOOTHE A SORE THROAT

Gargling with salt water is usually the tried and true method of getting some relief from a sore throat. If that’s not doing the trick, try making a special tea out of witch hazel, cloves, and myrrh. Don’t drink it, though! Gargle the tea and let the witch hazel do its match.

17. RELIEVE BUG BITES

Us humans are tasty treats to summertime bugs, especially mosquitoes. It’s hard not to get a bite or two when spending the day outside. Witch hazel is perfect for relieving the inflammation and reducing the itchiness of those persistent bug bites.

18. SOOTHE POISON IVY

Outdoorsy people can attest to the inconvenience of accidentally stumbling over some poison ivy or poison oak. Kids tend not to know the plants on sight and can get covered in itchiness. Witch hazel will relief that itchy feeling and reduce the swelling.

19. TREATING WOUNDS

If you have a small cut or scrape, witch hazel is the perfect way to clean out the wound. Witch hazel is an antiseptic, so it’s useful for cleaning and disinfecting small wounds to reduce the chance of an infection.

20. CLEAN YOUR CAT OR DOG’S EARS

Cleaning your pet’s ears can be tricky, especially since they’re so sensitive. A great way to clean those little ears is to get a rag and soak it in witch hazel. Scrub around the outside or inside of the ears to clean it up.

21. STAIN REMOVAL

Tough and stubborn stains don’t always need an expensive product to get them out! Witch hazel will work just fine. Mix your witch hazel with some white toothpaste and get to scrubbing.

22. CLEAN THE BATHROOM

Again, no need to break out the expensive products! Mix lemon juice, baking soda and witch hazel to make your at-home cleaner. Scrub out mildew, stains and even soap scum without all the added chemicals of bathroom cleaner.

23. CLEAN THE FLOORS

Once more, forget the expensive cleaning products. Witch hazel is a fraction of the cost and does a better job. Pour half a cup of witch hazel into a gallon of warm water. This is perfect for mopping tile and linoleum floors.

24. NATURAL DIY AIR FRESHENER

Like making your deodorant, witch hazel can also be used as an air freshener. Just mix one cup of water, half cup of witch hazel, and fifteen drops of your favorite essential oil. Mix that all together and stick it in a spray bottle of eco-friendly air freshener!

25. EYEGLASS CLEANER

One-part water and one part witch hazel, with just a drop of soap, will make a glasses cleaner that’s way less expensive and full of less chemicals than your regular glasses cleaner.

Witch hazel has a variety of uses, and this is just a handful! It’s natural, cheap, and better for you, your home and the environment! Get a load of these easy witch hazel tricks and enjoy how much better life is on the witchy side.

References
Skin Experts Spill Their No. 1 Summer Skin Care Tips https://verilymag.com/2017/06/skin-experts-share-their-summer-skin-care-tips
How Is Witch Hazel Used to Treat Skin? https://www.sharecare.com/video/sharecare-experts/ellen-marmur/how-is-witch-hazel-used-to-treat-skin

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