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How To Let Go of Hidden Anger (And Feel Happy Again)

October 9, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Repressing emotions can happen when those emotions make us feel uncomfortable or bring up memories that we would rather leave buried. While emotional repression can help at the moment to relieve stress or allow us to move forward with our lives, it only causes more anger and turmoil in the long run.

According to Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler, “What repressed anger does is to make its home somewhere in your body and create more stress.”
Repressed anger can especially leave us feeling hollow, stressed, and angry at the wrong targets. The problem happens when we repress this anger to either the breaking point or until it eats us alive. Allowing yourself to let go of this repressed anger is the first step to healing.

“If you carry around a lot of suppressed or repressed anger (anger you have unconsciously buried) you may lash out at people, blaming or punishing them for something someone else did a long time ago.” – Beverly Engel

6 Ways To Let Go Of Repressed Anger And Gain Control Over Your Life

1. Self-reflection Can Help Release Anger

This is the first step to releasing any repressed emotion, especially anger. We can oftentimes brush off self-reflection as something that just doesn’t work. However, being able to reflect on your emotions, thoughts, and reactions can help make releasing all of your repressed anger so much easier. First, you need to figure out how you began to repress your anger in the first place. Perhaps there was a specific event during childhood that taught you to hold your feelings in. Once you pinpoint this, you can learn how that lesson has led you to repress your feelings throughout the rest of your life.

2. Release Hidden Anger Through Forgiveness

According to Professor Robert Enright, “Our science shows that as people make the decision to forgive and follow a valid process of forgiving, then the one who forgives experiences considerable psychological relief such as reduced anger, anxiety, and depression, and an increase in self-esteem.”

This doesn’t just mean learning to forgive others. Learning to forgive yourself is as equally important in beginning to release the repressed anger inside of you. Forgiveness is a powerful tool for self-healing. When you begin to forgive the people who have harmed you in some way, you are able to release the anger that you hold inside of you. Once that anger is released, you’ll find that your mind and body can become healthier as you begin your process of healing.

3. Use Positivity Techniques as Anger Management

When your mind is thinking of negative things, you’re going to feel negative emotions! The best way to combat this, and to begin the road to recovery from repressed anger, is to use positive visualization. Instead of focusing on the people who have hurt you, focus on the people and things that bring you joy in your life, as well as purpose. Release your anger in constructive, healthy ways, like art, music, or exercise. Letting your emotions out and feeling them is an important part of letting them go.

4. Accept the Past

Trying to deny or rally against things that have already happened is a useless effort. The past is the past, and there’s nothing that can be done to change it. You can’t erase the things that happened, but you can learn to accept them and how they affect your life now. Acceptance of the past will allow you to move forward. You can’t look straight ahead if you’re always looking back! Once you learn the power of acceptance, you’ll find that your path to healing becomes much more straightforward.

5. Understand the Other Person’s Point of View

When you began your self-reflection, you may have begun to realize that you hold repressed anger because of someone else. This is a good time to try and reflect on their point of view. Understanding where someone else is coming from can help you process your anger, rather than letting it fester inside of you. Of course, this is only useful if the anger comes from a differing point of view, rather than an expression of violence. In cases like this, it’s important to know that someone’s violence against you was not your fault. Being able to release yourself from the blame can help you move past your anger.

6. Let Go of Anger by Relinquishing Control

Sure, you can control certain things about your life – who you interact with, where you work, how you spend your time, etc. But in the long run, life is going to happen and the most any of us can do is brace ourselves for the ride. According to Dr. Amy Johnson, “I’ve noticed that things go much more smoothly when I give up control—when I allow them to happen instead of making them happen. “

You can’t control other people’s actions. If an ex-partner broke your trust and cheated on you, being able to accept that there was nothing you could do to control their actions can help release your repressed anger at them for hurting you. Once that anger is released, you can start to heal from the incident.

Repressed emotions can cause stress, depression, and anxiety. Repressed anger is no exception! However, it is possible to learn to release that anger. Once you have the tools to work through your own personal healing journey, your body and mind will be at peace. You may even find that your relationships with other people, be they romantic, platonic, or familial, have grown stronger than ever now that you don’t have that anger hanging over your head.

6. Behavior Modification to Manage Your Anger

How often have you told your children that they need to modify their behavior? Well, the same thing works with adults. When you change your thought processes, it will automatically change your actions. Have you ever had to go outside and count to ten before disciplining your kids?

The same principles apply when it comes to anger issues. When you have stress-management techniques you can turn to during times of frustration; you can learn to release the rage you feel and calm yourself.

7. Meditation and Prayer

You can conquer deep emotional work when you delve into prayer and meditation. It’s very beneficial because both practices help you focus on the present moment and alter your thoughts. So many people become distracted by the past, which hinders them in the here and now.

During these calming moments when you’re trying to recenter yourself, there’s a lot of self-healing that takes place. Once you get the hang of these practices, you can learn how to calm your feelings of both anger and resentment. A positive mindset can do wonders, and prayer and meditation can help you achieve it.

8. Creative Visualization

All those self-imposing and restricting thoughts can be released when you utilize visualization. Do you have rage from your past that festers at any given time? Try using a visualization technique to clear these feelings.

Have you ever used a tea kettle to boil water for tea or instant soups? Picture the kettle boiling on your stove. When it starts whistling because it’s screaming hot, this is a good visualization for the rage happening on the inside. Now, turn the kettle off, and the water inside will begin to cool.

As the water cools, this is indicative of your inner thermostat calming. Trying techniques like this can help you relax and bring your emotional temperature back to normal. No one wants to walk around red hot from anger.

9. Journaling for Releasing Your Anger

When you feel irritation inside, you must let it go. Journaling is a beautiful place to start. Getting those feelings down on paper can release them from your innermost being. Some people find it beneficial to just write all their thoughts and feelings down on paper, but others like to write short stories that parallel their emotions.

10. Managing Your Thoughts

According to News Week, the average human being has more than 6,000 random thoughts each day. Your thought processes help to shape your emotional response. Assume that you see something that you feel is frightening.

Your brain registers this event and gives you a specific emotional response to what you’re experiencing. However, when you change how you view things, you’re altering your emotional reaction to it. So, when you stop seeing a situation as rage-inducing, your thought process will alter around your perception.

11. Take A Time Out

Taking a time out is a great way to reset your brain and focus on something positive. When you set your children in time out, you want them to stop, think about what they’ve done, and change their emotional response. When you distract your mind, it helps to make things clearer.

Even if you’ve buried your rage deep inside, there will be times when it comes boiling to the surface. These little segments of “me time” can help you put things into perspective.

12. Talk to Someone About It

If you want to let go of vehemence deep inside, it’s best to get it out by talking to someone. This person can be a therapist, a trusted friend, or the person who offended you. The more you bury it and refuse to speak about it, the more powerful it becomes.

Burying hurts and frustrations only mean that you will have to deal with them another day. Additionally, you can be like a time bomb with rage waiting for someone to detonate you. Get it out, deal with it, and move on.

13. Uses Positive Affirmations

There are a lot of negativities that surround you every day. When you ingest these toxic things, it acts as a large spoon that stirs the pot. For instance, you go to work, and your boss writes you up for a minor infraction. This negative thing sets your mood off, making you see red.

It’s easy to let things that are buried come to the surface during a storm. Remember, when the tide rolls in on the ocean, it brings seaweed, fish, rocks, and shells with it. Essentially everything you have hidden will roll to the surface when things get shaken up. The good news is that you can combat this with some positive affirmations.

You can read or recite affirmations each day to change your mindset. It helps you flush inner negativities to the curb and release the anger that’s holding you hostage.

14. Release Fury Mindfully

Many times, anger is caused by a bruised ego. Maybe you lost the love of your life, a job, or someone said or did something that hurt you deeply. You’re having trouble letting go of the feelings, so this pent-up negativity warrants a ceremonial release.

You can do things like write the problem on a balloon and set it free into the sky. You can watch your frustrations fade into the vast blue above as you do this. You can try writing the person’s name and offense on a card and burning it. Find a way to release the anger by doing these ceremonial acts mindfully.

15. Use Laughter to Let go of Anger and Bitterness

Laughter is very healing. When was the last time that you laughed till your stomach hurt? You’ve heard laughter is the best medicine, but did you know there’s scientific evidence to back these theories?

According to a study conducted by Massachusetts General Hospital and posted on the National Library of Medicine, they used humor on cancer patients to see how it affected them. They found humor lightened the mood, improved the patients’ outlook, and eased their pain.

Since anger on the inside of you can eat and gnaw at your very soul like cancer, it stands to reason that humor can also work for you. The quicker you nip these anger issues, the less likely they are to turn into bitterness.

Final Thoughts on Letting Go of Your Anger

Being furious on the inside can steal your happiness. It will eat at your soul, and it can shatter your mind’s peace. When you allow situations and people to make you angry, you give them control over your life.

By doing some of the actions listed above, you can learn to forgive, put your fury in its place, and start walking with a positive mindset. Be open-minded and find some of these activities that you think will help. Don’t be afraid to try many until you find the one that works.

5 Things To Do If Your Boss Is A Psychopath

October 9, 2017 by Power of Positivity

‘Corporate psychopaths thrive on thrill seeking, bore easily, seek stimulation, and play mind games with a strong desire to win.’ – FBI psychologists Paul Babiak, Ph.D. & Mary Ellen O’Toole, Ph.D.

Psychopaths in business

What does it take to succeed in today’s highly competitive marketplace? Most rational people would say things like “a motivated workforce,” “innovation,” or “creative thinking.”

Can someone who lacks empathy get ahead in business? Can someone who preys on vulnerabilities? How about a boss who gets some kind of twisted pleasure from abusing their subordinates?

First, a bit of context. Corporate America is an uber-competitive, dog-eat-dog environment. Capitalism on steroids and three cans of Redbull.

Companies are bankrupted, bought out, bulldozed and no one bats an eye. When this happens, of course, most people become worried. Fearful. Insecure. As it happens, psychopaths thrive on such emotions.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), the United State’s preeminent law enforcement body, employs psychologists who specialize in examining corporate misfits. They’ve affirmed that companies do have a place for psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists. Some sit on the Board. Some are CEOs. These people reach the pinnacle of Corporate America.

Enron, Bernie Madoff, WorldCom, and Lehman Brothers were all led by individuals likely to fall somewhere along the psychopath/sociopath scale.

What is psychopathy?

William Hirstein, Ph.D. and neuropsychologist, explains the history of psychopathy:

“In the early 1800s, doctors who worked with mental patients began to notice that some of their patients who appeared outwardly normal had what they termed a “moral depravity” or “moral insanity,” in that they seemed to possess no sense of ethics or of the rights of other people.”

Since then, psychologists have flipped-flopped between using the term “psychopath” or “sociopath” in describing such people.

Hirstein, after researching various sources of psychopathy diagnoses, narrowed the condition down to nine common traits:

– Lack of empathy

– Shallow emotions

– Irresponsibility

– Insincere speech

– Closed attention (only focused on themselves)

– Lack of planning

– Impulsivity

– Selfishness

– Violence

Is your boss a psychopath?

He or she doesn’t need to display all of the traits mentioned above to be a psychopath.

Medical terminology aside, just one of the nine traits Hirstein lists would create a highly uncomfortable working environment. How about working for someone who is irresponsible, selfish, and uncaring?

We’re not psychologists or mental health experts. Even those who are experts have a tough time diagnosing someone with psychopathy, narcissism, and related disorders.

Perhaps the most important takeaway from this article is how to deal with a boss who exhibits such behaviors.

(Readers: have you ever worked for a highly unstable boss or manager? We’d love to hear your story!)

5 Ways to Deal With a “Psycho-Boss”

1. Establish boundaries, if possible

If you work in a large company, it may be possible to distance yourself from your boss. Now’s a time to take advantage of your connections; perhaps you can switch teams or move into another department.

Whatever the situation may be, it is essential to remember your self-worth. If you have no options, it’s time to consider another course of action.

2. Understand that your boss won’t change

Psychopaths do not change their behaviors. Their need for dominance, control, and manipulation is in their DNA. It doesn’t even matter if you’re a high performer; your psycho-boss personality won’t suddenly shift. “They keep using people up until nobody wants to be around them,” says psychologist and author Judy Rosenberg, Ph.D.

3. Don’t justify their behavior

In other words, don’t make excuses for your horrible boss. Also, don’t misclassify your boss as “tough.” There’s a gaping distance between toughness and psychopathy. Dr. Rosenberg explains, “A tough boss is just somebody who blows up at you, but they don’t cross those lines. Tough is playing fair. (The) four D’s: demean, devalue, destroy, discard – that’s just another level.”

4. Look at your mental health

Working for such a toxic individual would take its toll on even the most thick-skinned person. Be honest about your mental health.

How do you feel when leaving the office? Are you just tired or something else? Is working for this person taking its toll on your personal life? On your off days?

Depression, anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are a genuine possibility when continually exposed to abuse. And, make no mistake, you are being exposed to abuse.

5. Look for another job or quit

It’s of the utmost importance to understand that nothing is going to change in your current environment. Not your boss, and not your perceptions of them.

If possible, network within the company to find an opportunity. Polish your resume and send it to your connections (there are plenty of excellent, free resources on the web for resume writing). Update your LinkedIn profile, post to job boards, and so on.

Of course, quitting is certainly the last resort for most. We all need money, and we all have responsibilities. But no job and no amount of money are worth your soul. You have options friend!

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindmelding/201301/what-is-psychopath-0
https://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/william-hirstein-phd

11 Common Arguments of Every Relationship (And How to Avoid Having Them)

October 9, 2017 by Power of Positivity

“Discussions are an exchange of knowledge; arguments an exchange of ignorance.” – Robert Quillen

Every couple has arguments. it’s almost impossible to spend a majority of your time with another person and not find something to argue about.

Do successful couples argue too?

Director of the Sedona Counselling Center of Montrea, psychotherapist Vikki Stark says that although all couples argue as far as successful couples are concerned, “instead of attacking the other person’s character, happy couples color inside the lines and express their own feelings…”

After all, relationships are comprised of two different people with their own thoughts, feelings, values and opinions. Fortunately, there are ways to avoid having these types of arguments. It might not always work, but learning how to avoid them will give you more tools in your arsenal to keep your relationship happy and healthy.

11 Arguments Every Couple Has And How To Avoid Them

1. Money matters can cause arguments

Couples bringing two different incomes into the relationship can often be found arguing about money. Whether you’re sharing expenses, or paying your own way, money is a common argument that couples often find themselves hashing out. Decide who’s paying for what when it comes to shared expenses, and stick to it. Having a plan will alleviate the stress that is often the trigger for the money argument.

2. Intimacy and daily stress

Unfortunately, this is a big one when it comes to arguments that couples have. If you’ve been together for a long time, spending time together and being intimate can start to be pushed aside due to other daily life stressors. It can cause distance, and fights about other things when all you want is to be close to one another. Talking openly and honestly with your partner about desiring intimate time together can put a stop to the arguments about intimacy.

3. Spending too much time apart

For most relationships, spending time together is one of the greatest joys. Arguments can arise when one or both partners aren’t getting the amount of time together that they need. Organizing a schedule of alone time can help couples who are bombarded with things like work obligations or business travel. Making sure that you can spend time together despite personal and professional obligations will make it so that too much time apart is never an argument you have to have again.

4. Communication. Or rather, a lack of communication

People can often miscommunicate in a relationship, which can lead to difficulties and arguments. psychologist Nikki Martinez mentions, “The couple stops being transparent, starts making assumptions and starts hiding things, which ultimately leads to anger and mistrust.”

If a lack of communication is causing a rift in your relationship, either working on communication skills or finding a better way to communicate can make it so that those arguments happen less frequently.

Couples therapy can help when it comes to communication difficulties, as an outside perspective can be just what couples need to balance things too because “When communication breaks down, and each person thinks it is beyond repair, they will often believe that divorce is the only option,” adds Martinez.

5. Trouble with communicating emotions

Communicating ideas clearly is important for a relationship to succeed, and communicating emotions clearly is just as important. Clinical psychologist Alexandra H. Solomon states, “When spouses become emotionally and physically disengaged, they can start to question their love for each other and wonder, ‘What are we all about?’”

If one or both partners have issues handling their emotions, or their partner’s emotions, it can cause a rift where one or both partners feels as if they’re not getting the emotional support that they need. Again, couples therapy or individual therapy can help mend those problems.

6. Household chores and not sharing the load

Deciding who does what in the household can be a major cause of contention. If one partner works more than the other, they may feel that they shouldn’t have to do as many chores at home. Disagreements over how to divide up chores can be easily avoided when both partners sit down and decide who does what, and what a fair division of household labor would be – instead of arguing about who took the trash out last, decide who’s job it is to take out the trash.

7. Family and friends

An argument that often arises when it comes to family and friends does so around the holidays. Playing host to extended family members can take a toll on couples because of how much energy goes into it. In order to get through the family visits, decide ahead of time the appropriate length of time family members should be staying over – so everyone can enjoy the visit and not feel invaded in their own home.

8. Falling asleep together

Many peoples run on different schedules due to work, or just personal preference. An argument that couples often have is falling asleep at the same time, or at least together. Going to bed alone can make one partner feel neglected. The best way to deal with this is to try and get on the same schedule that works for you both, or compromise having one partner stay in bed and enjoy some intimate time together while the other falls asleep.

9. Unresolved issues

These types of issues can make any relationship more difficult – either personal, unresolved issues, or issues between partners that fester. The arguments that result from these issues are rarely about the root of the problem, which makes them hard to resolve. Staying open and honest with your partner about the things that bother or upset you will make sure that no issue remains unresolved.

10. Intimate difficulties

When it comes to being intimate with your partner, arguments can arise when a couple has problems in the bedroom. Whether the sex is unsatisfying or one person has a lower sex drive than the other, difficulties with intimacy can drive a wedge in any good relationship.

Psychotherapist and author Marcia Naomi Berger says, “It’s oftentimes the man who feels frustrated because his wife seems to have lost interest in having sex with him. Women’s sexual needs are more complex: Maybe he’s not helping her get into the mood with enough foreplay or maybe he hasn’t been emotionally available and responsive to her in general.”

The best way to combat this is to stay open with your partner, and discuss things honestly, and try to work out any issues that you have.

11. Jealousy

Author Susan Heitler Ph.D., says, “Jealousy in general erupts from a crisis in trust. The trust may be distrust of others, or of oneself.” No one likes to admit when they feel jealous – but jealousy can be one of the major causes of arguments between couples. Of course, combating jealousy isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Keeping open communication with your partner can lessen the arguments that come around when jealousy rears its ugly head, but couples therapy and personal therapy can also make a huge difference when it comes to the insecurities one partner faces that cause the jealousy.

No matter where you’re from, what type of couple you are, or how old you are, or how long you’ve been together … there are some things that every couple is going to end up arguing about sometimes. While it may not be fun, it’s almost inevitable. Learning what major arguments you may face and how to avoid them will keep any couple healthy and happy for as long as they are together.

References:
http://www.huffingtonpost.in/entry/8-things-successful-couples-do-differently-during-arguments_us_569fd4f0e4b0875553c2a5e0
http://www.huffingtonpost.in/entry/6-fights-all-couples-have-on-the-road-to-divorce_us_55f30a19e4b042295e360f2a
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201110/jealousy-the-3-main-causes-and-their-cures

What Do Your Daily Habits Reveal About Your Personality?

October 9, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Surprisingly, your daily habits and personal preferences can paint a pretty accurate picture of your personality type. We all have a routine that we follow each day, and it varies based on our desires, quirks, and demeanor. For instance, the early risers may spend their mornings doing yoga, meditating, or relaxing before work.

However, the night owls might sleep in until the last minute before starting their day. It gives them less time to prepare for the day ahead, but they prefer getting a few extra minutes of sleep. This is just one example of how our daily habits provide a glimpse into our unique personalities.

What These 12 Habits Say About Your Personality

Below, we’ll go over some everyday habits and daily choices that reveal a bit about human nature.

1. Your Choice of Footwear

You may not think twice about what shoes you wear each day, but this decision provides insight about your personality. A study in the Journal of Research in Personality found that footwear, like other articles of clothing and accessories, reveals your inner nature to the world. The researchers asked participants to fill out a questionnaire about their personality and snap a picture of their shoes.

Then, the research team asked a separate group to analyze the photos and attempt to guess each participant’s personality. Most people seemed to guess correctly, showing the universality of footwear perceptions.

According to the study, people who wear comfortable, casual shoes had a more pleasant, easygoing personality. Those who preferred ankle boots had a more aggressive nature, and people who wore uncomfortable shoes had a calm disposition. Participants who were meticulous about cleaning their shoes had a clingy, anxious vibe.

Of course, there’s much more to you than your choice of shoes, but it’s an interesting study nonetheless!

2. Your Handshake

Some people don’t like shaking hands, but it’s necessary in professional settings. Surprisingly, your handshake style can reveal a lot about your personality. A 2000 University of Alabama study showed that a person’s handshake remains constant throughout life and provides a snapshot of their demeanor.

The research found that people with a firm, strong handshake had a more extroverted, less neurotic personality. They also showed greater openness to new experiences. On the other hand, people with a weak handshake made a less stellar first impression. The research found that women with a firm handshake had specific personality traits and beliefs in common. They generally had more interest in new experiences, voted liberal, and had higher intelligence.

3. Your Email Style and Preferences

In this modern era, some people view emails as a thing of the past. Group chats and messaging apps have become more popular, but some companies still use email to communicate. According to a comprehensive analysis by The Myers-Briggs Company, your habits and preferences regarding emails say a lot about your personality.

For instance, the research found that extroverts sent and received more emails than introverts. However, they preferred talking in person or over the phone rather than using email and had a higher chance of sending one to the wrong person. Those with a Sensing rather than Intuitive preference had more structured, concise language in their emails.

Intuitive types had less structured, more casual email preferences, and Judging types expected a quick response from others. When they didn’t receive a timely response, they got more irritated than other types.

4. Your Eating Habits and Behaviors

The foods you eat regularly can say a lot about you. A 2020 Australian study investigated the relationship between eating habits, BMI, and the Big Five personality traits (extroversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism).

The research discovered that participants who ate more plant-based foods and fish showed higher openness, conscientiousness, and emotional stability. Those who ate more meat, on the other hand, showed less openness and emotional strength and higher extroversion. Finally, people who ate more carbs weren’t as conscientious, extroverted, or emotionally stable.

The researchers found that BMI negatively associated with conscientiousness and emotional stability. They discovered a positive relation with agreeableness, however.

5. Your Timeliness

According to research in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, our punctuality (or lack of it) can reveal whether we’re a Type A or B personality. Not surprisingly, those who arrived early to meetings had a higher chance of being ‘Type A’s.’ People who showed up late to appointments were more likely to be Type B personalities.

This makes sense because Type A personalities thrive on achievements and setting goals, while Type B’s have a more laidback approach to life.

6. How Often You Smile

Habits such as smiling aren’t something we think about too often. However, how frequently you smile can reveal to others if you’re more extroverted or introverted. Extroverts’ smiles occur more naturally, while introverts must actively work to put on a happy face in social situations. In other words, smiling doesn’t come as quickly for introverts, as their natural expression is more neutral.

In several studies, participants who analyzed photographs of people could quickly pinpoint the extroverts since they smiled more often.

7. Your Spending Habits

Your purchasing habits can also provide insight into your personality quirks and traits. A study published in Psychological Science found a positive association between openness and money spent on flights. Extroverted people tended to dine out and drink more often, while those with more agreeableness frequently donated to charity.,

Those who scored higher on conscientiousness weren’t as keen on shelling out cash, preferring to save instead. More materialistic participants spent the most on jewelry and donated less to charity. Also, the research found that people who showed greater self-control spent less on overdraft fees. People who scored higher on neuroticism spent less on mortgage payments.

8. Your Posture

Your stand can reveal whether you lean more toward introversion or extroversion. For example, research published in the journal PLOS One found that extroverts had a better posture. They tended to stand up straighter and had a more relaxed posture, while introverts stood with either a flat or sway-back. According to the research, these positions can reveal underlying mental or emotional stress.

9. Your Body Language

It’s not always what you say but how you say it; experts estimate that nonverbal cues constitute around 60% of all communication. This means that body language habits play a massive role in how people perceive you. For example, one study found that peers perceived people who avert their gaze during conversations as unfriendly, shy, and less intelligent.

Another study discovered that people could tell when you’re faking a smile. Having wrinkles around your eyes indicates to others that you have a genuine smile, a sign of trustworthiness and sincerity. Also, if you cross your legs or arms when talking to someone, it can signal that you’re closed off, defensive or self-protective.

10. How Often You Use Your Smartphone

Many studies have linked excessive smartphone use with higher anxiety, depression, and emotional instability. An online survey by researchers from the University of Derby and Nottingham Trent University in the UK also confirmed these findings. The research involved 640 people between the ages of 13 and 69. Those who felt the most anxious reported using their smartphones more often, and participants with mental disorders, in general, viewed their phones as a form of therapy.

While not everyone who uses smartphones will develop a mental health problem, limiting your time on devices is still a good idea.

11. Your Clothing Preferences

A 2009 study found that clothing and accessory choices can reveal a person’s level of narcissism. Researchers told participants to view pictures of people wearing various types and styles of clothing. Specific attributes, such as bright, expensive clothing, makeup, and accessories, and if a person smiled a lot, revealed higher levels of narcissism.

The researchers write: “These findings suggest that physical appearance reflects narcissists’ personality, preoccupation with good looks, and desire to be the center of attention, and serves as a vehicle to promote their status.”

12. Having a Nail-biting Habit

Some people have unconscious habits such as twirling their hair or biting their nails, often to relieve stress or boredom. However, a 2015 study published in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry also found an association between nail-biting and perfectionism. People who bite their nails also tend to feel dissatisfied and engage in the habit as a source of comfort.

Final Thoughts on How Daily Habits Reveal Your Personality

We all have habits and routines that we usually don’t even think about. As we get accustomed to our careers and responsibilities, these habits become second nature. However, our behaviors and choices can paint an overall picture of our unique personalities, interests, and thought processes.

This list doesn’t even scratch the surface when it comes to our conscious and unconscious daily habits. But, hopefully, you learned more about your personality after reading this article!

8 Ways To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

October 9, 2017 by Power of Positivity

“Feeling sorry for ourselves is the most useless waste of energy on the planet. It does absolutely no good. We can’t let our circumstances or what others do or don’t do control us. We can decide to be happy regardless.” – Joyce Meyer

Bad things happen. That’s just a fact of life. When something bad happens in our lives, it can be so easy to fall into a negative spiral of feeling sorry for ourselves. Accepting defeat and giving up feels easy, because it takes less work than pulling ourselves out of a pit of despair. However, psychotherapist Amy Morin states that, “feeling sorry for yourself can be downright self-destructive. It makes overcoming adversity difficult—if not impossible—and it keeps you stuck.”

We are all guilty of letting ourselves wallow in negative feelings for longer than we should, oftentimes letting them pass on their own without working to make ourselves feel better. However, life doesn’t stop moving no matter how much we feel sorry for ourselves, and our pity parties sometimes have to be put on hold. Here are the best ways to stop feeling sorry for yourself and learn to move on with life.

Here Are 8 Ways To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself And Gain Control Of Your Life

1. Set aside some time to volunteer

Even when things are going wrong, it’s always good to be reminded that things could be much worse. Not only that, but volunteering for someone in need means that you’re putting positive energy out into the world. When you give positive energy, you get positive energy. It’s a great way to remind yourself that there are people who have it worse off than you, and it’ll snap you right out of feeling sorry for yourself.

2. Count your blessings

When life feels like it’s weighing you down more than normal, it can be a good thing to stop and remember all the things that are good in your life. Reminding yourself of all the things that you’re grateful for is a good way to put your life into some perspective.

Founder, facilitator and personal insight coach of The Insight Technique™ Kimberley Cohen states, “… if you don’t see the blessings then you focus on the problem rather than the solutions. Instead of being hopeful, you become hopeless. You can become stuck, frustrated, stressed, discouraged, defeated and depleted.”

Maybe you have a good job, or a fantastic family or partner. Count your blessings and see that even when things go wrong, you’ve got it pretty good.

3. Unplug from social media

If you’re having issues comparing yourself to the people around you, it can be a good idea to unplug from social media for a while. The thing about social media, is that people only post things that they want you to see. So, of course you’re going to be seeing all of the good and positive things. Instead, just unplug from social media and take some time to yourself.

4. Spend your time with someone special

Whether this person is your partner, your best friend, or just your family, it’s important to spend time with people who love and care about you. When we feel sorry for ourselves, it’s easy to feel like nobody cares that we’re going through a hard time. Spending your day with someone important to you can remind you that this isn’t true.

5. Random acts of kindness

Do something nice for someone, and you’ll get a positive energy boost that can snap you right out of your pity party. Not only will you make someone else’s day, but you’ll be riding the high from their happiness right until bedtime.

Kindness expert Jennifer Willis-Rivera reveals, “[After practicing more acts of kindness on a regular basis], I found that the mornings that I woke up angry, I found myself a little less angry,” she said. “When I had to interact with people I didn’t like, I found myself really learning to value them as human beings.”

Whether you buy a small gift for someone you love, or simply pay for the person behind you at the coffee shop, being kind can set off a chain reaction of good deeds.

6. Set new goals for yourself

Instead of wallowing in negative feelings, try setting some goals that will help you pull yourself out of feeling poorly. It’s hard to be upset when you’ve got something else to focus on. If you’ve lost your job, make a goal to send out a certain number of resumes within the week. Setting goals will help keep you focused and help take your mind off feeling bad for yourself.

7. Change one thing every day

It doesn’t have to be something big. Just a small thing about yourself that you want to change to make you a better person. If you feel sorry for yourself because of your situation, it’s good to start making small changes to improve it. Before you know it, you’ll be waking up as someone in an entirely different situation than the one you started in – and you’ll be surprised how great you feel about it.

8. Join a support group

If all else fails, then joining a support group is a great way to both find yourself a support system while also finding people who understand what you’re going through. Friends and family can often be lacking in understanding our specific experiences. A support group, however, is often for people in the same boat who need the extra support. You’ll be able to talk to people and get ideas on how to move on or feel better.

People often feel sorry for themselves – after all, it’s human nature, but philosopher Dr. Megan Reik explains, “There are few human emotions as warm, comforting and enveloping as self-pity. And nothing is more corrosive and destructive. There is only one answer; turn away from it and move on.”

You shouldn’t feel badly if you give in to having a pity party every once in a while. However, it’s also important to know when it’s time to move on. If you have trouble figuring out how to pick yourself back up off the floor, don’t worry. The rest of us have that same problem. Hopefully, these ideas will help you figure out how to feel better and more positive with time.

How To Release Attachments to Someone You Can’t Be With

October 7, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Almost everyone has had this particular experience: falling in love with someone that you can’t have. Whether this person is your best friend, or the partner of someone you know, your co-worker or just someone who lives too far away, pining after someone that you have causes pain.

This is a particularly painful experience, and many of us have been in this exact situation, wondering how in the world we’re going to get over wanting someone that we can’t have.

As entrepreneur Paul Hudson rightly pointed out, “It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.” Fortunately, it’s entirely possible to both positively handle that pain and get over the other person.

Here Are 10 Ways To Handle The Pain Of Loving Someone You Can’t Have

“It’s hard to admit when you have fallen in love with someone who can’t be yours.” – Unknown

1. Enjoy your time together

When you’re spending time with someone that you love but can’t have, it can be tempting to ask for more. However, that will only lead to rejection and more pain. Instead, focus on enjoying the time that you do spend together. Focusing on the good times that you have means that you’ll have more good memories to draw on so that you’re not spending your time thinking about how badly you want to be with them.

2. Get a hobby to keep you occupied

When we’re hopelessly in love with someone that we can’t have, it may be hard to focus on anything else. Instead, try diverting your attention to other things, like hobbies. Find something that you really enjoy and put your energy into that. You’ll find that you pass the time much easier, and you might even stop thinking about them all the time. Finding ways to distract yourself from obsessing over someone that you can’t have will make it easier to move on.

3. Protect your feelings from the pain

Being this person’s friend is entirely possible. You can be there for them when they need it, but you also need to be able to know when something is too much. Learn to protect your feelings and set boundaries. If you find it hard to listen to them when they’re having troubles with their partner, it’s okay to set that boundary. Be there for them when you can, but also make sure that you’re taking care of yourself.

4. Have a support system

Surrounding yourself with other friends is a good way to make sure that you’re not alone. If you’re hopelessly in love with your best friend and can’t have them, life can get isolating pretty quickly. Instead, make sure that you have other friends who are supportive and understanding, so that you can always have someone to turn to when you’re feeling low about your unrequited love.

As relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer points out, “Allow yourself to be supported by your friends, even if you’re just going through the motions because it helps you jumpstart yourself into a new rhythm.”

5. Learn to compartmentalize the pain

This is an important tool in making sure that your mind isn’t being obsessed with your unrequited love when you’re not together. When you’re hanging out with them, make sure that you’re enjoying your time together to the fullest. However, when you’re apart, you want to make sure that you’re not letting your mind keep wandering back to them and distract you from doing your work.

6. Limit contact with them to heal yourself

Sometimes, your heart doesn’t stop pining. In that case, it’s time to stop letting your heart rule your head. If you’re in pain and in unrequited love after months or years, it may be time to limit the contact that you have with this person.

Relationship and dating expert Ravid Yosef says, “… Leave them behind. Keeping the line of communication open, no matter how good of ‘friends’ you think you’ll be is only keeping the hopes of a relationship alive.”

It might be upsetting at first, but you may just be opening old wounds every time you’re together. It’s time to give them space to heal.

7. Date other people

The best way to get over someone is to date other people. It’s important not to compare the new people that you date with your unrequited love. Not only will you feel bad, but it’ll make the person you’re dating have to live up to impossible standards. Enjoying people for who they are will open you up to all kinds of new relationships, though you may not fall in love with every new person you go out with.

8. Journal your feelings to document and release your pain

With social media now, it can be easy to throw up a Twitter post about how you feel and get validation from others. This may make you feel good in the moment, but it’s not the same as really examining your emotions. Instead, journal about how you’re feeling. You can do it on a blank word document on a computer, or get old fashioned with paper and pencil. Expressing your feelings in an open and honest way without the expectation that others will see it can help you work through them.

9. Devote some time to sulk

Don’t let yourself wallow for too long, but giving yourself a half hour to sit and sulk about your unrequited love may actually help you work through those feelings and move past them. You may find that the longer time goes on, the less you’ll feel the need to sulk about them.

Soon, you’ll be living your life day-to-day without the same pain that was there before because “trying to miss out that period of sadness can mean that we don’t give ourselves a chance to process what has happened,” says relationship counselor Amanda Major.

10. Tell them how you truly feel

Expressing how you feel to the person in question may be one of the best things that you can do to help yourself both cope and move on. You don’t want to expect anything from them, because that will only lead to more heartache. Instead, simply be honest with how you feel, and how your unrequited love has been hurting you. They deserve to know how you feel about them just as much as you deserve to tell them.

Love and be both a wonderful and painful thing to go through. When you love someone who you can’t have, it can make your whole world turn upside down. Thankfully, these feelings are well known throughout the rest of the world, and you’re not alone in dealing with this type of unrequited love. Learning how to cope will make your life easier and happier than if you allowed yourself to stew in the pain of it all.

References:
https://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/means-love-someone-can-never/
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/how-to-get-over-someone-according-to-a-relationship-expert-a6952321.html
https://www.bustle.com/articles/164374-the-best-ways-to-get-over-your-ex-according-to-experts
https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/get-over-an-ex

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6 Ways To Let Go Of Repressed Anger And Gain Control Over Your Life

1. Self-reflection Can Help Release Anger

2. Release Hidden Anger Through Forgiveness

3. Use Positivity Techniques as Anger Management

4. Accept the Past

5. Understand the Other Person’s Point of View

6. Let Go of Anger by Relinquishing Control

6. Behavior Modification to Manage Your Anger

7. Meditation and Prayer

8. Creative Visualization

9. Journaling for Releasing Your Anger

10. Managing Your Thoughts

11. Take A Time Out

12. Talk to Someone About It

13. Uses Positive Affirmations

14. Release Fury Mindfully

15. Use Laughter to Let go of Anger and Bitterness

Final Thoughts on Letting Go of Your Anger

What is psychopathy?

Is your boss a psychopath?

5 Ways to Deal With a “Psycho-Boss”

1. Establish boundaries, if possible

2. Understand that your boss won’t change

3. Don’t justify their behavior

4. Look at your mental health

5. Look for another job or quit

References: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindmelding/201301/what-is-psychopath-0 https://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/william-hirstein-phd

11 Arguments Every Couple Has And How To Avoid Them

1. Money matters can cause arguments

2. Intimacy and daily stress

3. Spending too much time apart

4. Communication. Or rather, a lack of communication

5. Trouble with communicating emotions

6. Household chores and not sharing the load

7. Family and friends

8. Falling asleep together

9. Unresolved issues

10. Intimate difficulties

11. Jealousy

What These 12 Habits Say About Your Personality

1. Your Choice of Footwear

2. Your Handshake

3. Your Email Style and Preferences

4. Your Eating Habits and Behaviors

5. Your Timeliness

6. How Often You Smile

7. Your Spending Habits

8. Your Posture

9. Your Body Language

10. How Often You Use Your Smartphone

11. Your Clothing Preferences

12. Having a Nail-biting Habit

Final Thoughts on How Daily Habits Reveal Your Personality

Here Are 8 Ways To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself And Gain Control Of Your Life

1. Set aside some time to volunteer

2. Count your blessings

3. Unplug from social media

4. Spend your time with someone special

5. Random acts of kindness

6. Set new goals for yourself

7. Change one thing every day

8. Join a support group

Here Are 10 Ways To Handle The Pain Of Loving Someone You Can’t Have

1. Enjoy your time together

2. Get a hobby to keep you occupied

3. Protect your feelings from the pain

4. Have a support system

5. Learn to compartmentalize the pain

6. Limit contact with them to heal yourself

7. Date other people

8. Journal your feelings to document and release your pain

9. Devote some time to sulk

10. Tell them how you truly feel

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References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindmelding/201301/what-is-psychopath-0
https://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/william-hirstein-phd

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