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Researchers Explain How to Turn On Your ‘Consciousness Switch’

Do you know where to find your consciousness switch?

‘con-scious-ness (n):

  • The state of being aware and awareness of one’s surroundings.

“She failed to regain consciousness and died two days later.”

  • The awareness or perception of something by a person.

“Her acute consciousness of Mike’s presence.”

  • The fact of awareness by the mind of itself and the world.

“consciousness emerges from the operations of the brain.”‘

~ The Oxford Dictionaries

The Unsolved Mystery of Brain Science

consciousnessFor all that scientists have uncovered about the human brain, they’re still at a loss about the underlying mechanisms of consciousness. While we generally accept that consciousness is the byproduct of an intricate connectedness of some kind between different parts of the brain, scientists haven’t been able to “put their finger on” it.

Guess that’s all part of trying to understand one of the most complex structures in the universe. Like all breakthrough brain discoveries, a comprehensive explanation of consciousness/unconsciousness may take a while.

However, a team of researchers from George Washington University in Washington D.C. may have just taken the all-important first step.

The Consciousness ‘Switch’

When your brain transitions from conscious to unconscious, a kind of ‘switch,’ or sudden action, occurs within its circuitry.

“Lights out” is often used by commentators when a boxer or MMA fighter is knocked unconscious. Whether this somewhat simple phrase has any roots in fundamental neuroscience is unknown, it’s a relatively accurate description.

Indeed, there is a ‘switch to that ‘light.’

Researchers Explain How to Turn On Your ‘Consciousness Switch’

The Claustrum

The team of Francis Crick and Christoff Koch, both of whom helped decrypt the structure of DNA, hypothesized that a brain region called the claustrum might be at the heart of consciousness.

The average neuroscientist likely sneered upon first hearing that the claustrum, a relatively obscure brain region, was responsible for consciousness.

Here’s how Joel Frohlich, in the Psychology Today piece entitled “What the Heck Is a Claustrum?” explains this reaction:

“The hypothesis that one brain region might occupy a privileged position as the central gatekeeper of consciousness is sure to spark debate in a (Neuroscience) community that is often skeptical of almost any theory of consciousness in the first place.”

Frohlich continues: “…oddly enough, no one can say what the claustrum does or how it’s important.”

What is the Claustrum?

The claustrum is a super-thin sheet of neurons deep inside the human (and mammalian) brain, underneath the insular lobe. This tiny blanket of neurons can only be accessed if all other parts of the brain’s cortex (outer layers) are pulled aside.

We, humans, have two claustra, one within each hemisphere of the brain. Unlike the frontal cortex, amygdala, hippocampus, and cerebral cortex, you’ve likely never heard of the claustrum.

That makes two of us.

To give you an idea of just how little is known of the claustrum, consider that no brain surgeon could tell you what happens if this tiny neuronal layer is damaged or removed. They can’t say because they never knowingly interact with it.

The Study of the Consciousness Switch

An unidentified woman, sadly diagnosed with a rare epileptic seizure condition, sought relief – of any kind – from her situation.

While scientists were stimulating different brain areas to find the epicenter of her condition, they suddenly triggered an unconscious state. They determined that electrical stimulation of the left claustrum and anterior-dorsal insula caused the woman to become unresponsive.

To ensure this wasn’t a one-off, researchers repeated stimulation of the same area. The woman once again lost consciousness.

The next step was the make sure they were not merely interrupting motor control and speech. To make sure, they asked the woman to repeat a particular word before stimulation. After registering the necessary feedback, the team effectively ruled out the possibility of control and speech interference.

How does this happen?

The lead author of the study, Mohamad Koubeissi, explains how activation of this relatively unknown piece of neural circuitry triggered the unconscious state:

“I liken (the brain) to a car. It has many part parts that facilitate its movement – the gas, the transmission, the engine – but there’s only one spot where you turn the key, and it all switches on … we may have found the key.”

pop meme

Final Thoughts on Research on the Consciousness Switch: What’s next?

Similar to all scientific findings, independent researchers must still replicate and observe the results. Further, the woman in the study was not a typical patient in that she exhibited highly irregular brain activity.

The woman also lacked a part of her hippocampus, “the center of emotion, memory, and the autonomic nervous system (ANS).”  Although this outlier probably didn’t change the study’s results, every potential explanation must be considered as we move forward.

Koch downplayed the findings a bit: “This study is incredibly intriguing, but it is one brick in a large edifice of consciousness that we’re trying to build.”

The results, however, are optimistic. Should further research prove the study valid, it may just revolutionize many areas within neuroscience. Specifically, doctors will be key to treating severe and life-altering conditions, including rare forms of epilepsy.

Researchers Explain What Happens In A Near Death Experience

“The recalled experience surrounding death merits a genuine investigation without prejudice.” ~ Sam Parnia, Ph.D., Assistant professor of Medicine at Stony Brook University

“What happens after we die?”

Humans have been pondering this question for tens of thousands of years.

Some propose they know what happens after we die; some say they have no clue; still, another group thinks once we take our last breath, that’s all she wrote.

Does anyone truly know what happens after we die? Well, we’re certainly not going to stir that pot.

Instead, we’ll use the most objective measure possible, scientific experimentation, to provide some semblance of an answer.

There’s just one problem…

Science isn’t perfect.

There’s no doubting that scientists are brilliant people – but they’re just people. If there’s one thing on which most individuals will agree is that there’s some spiritual element of being human.

The beauty of nature, the wonder of a child, the miracle of our existence … all of these things cannot be measured by the scientific method. The vast power and intelligence of the Universe have trumped man’s attempt to define it more times than not.

But we have made some progress, as this study will demonstrate.

Researchers Reveal What Happens In A Life After Death Event

The ‘AWARE’ study

Dr. Sam Parnia, a medical doctor, and professor at Stony Brook University is conducting a study considered the first of it’s kind. The AWARE study (“AWAreness during REsuscitation”) seeks to understand the near-death experience (NDE) and the mind-body connection by interacting with patients whose organs failed.

Parnia and his team focused on patients who experienced cardiac arrest leading to organ failure, fulfilling the technical definition of death.

The study, published in the journal Resuscitation, spans four years, 15 hospitals, three countries, and 2,060 patients. Of the over 2,000 people Parnia’s team tracked, 330 survived. 140 were willing to give their account of what they experienced.

The average of the 140 people interviewed was 64 and ranged from 21 to 94. Two-thirds were male, one-third female.

Not all “sunshine and rainbows” or “doom and gloom”

We commonly hear about NDEs in which the person testifies to experiencing majestic things like bright lights, family, animals, and angels, or the complete opposite – ‘hell,’ fire, bad spirits, and so forth.

Well, Parnia’s findings told a different story. 61 percent didn’t remember anything, while just 55 people claimed they did.

Of the 55 individuals who remembered, the most common theme involved feelings of fear. 22 percent reported feeling “peace of pleasantness”; 13 percent felt separated from their body; 9 percent had feelings of joy; 8 percent saw a “mystical being”; and 5 percent witnessed past events in their life.

A few outliers

Of the 55 people with some ability to recall what happened, just seven claimed “detailed memories.”

One individual – a 57-year-old male social worker – was able to recollect and depict the “scene” around him while unconscious. The man mentioned, in detail, the medical equipment, staff, and even the machine used in attempts to resuscitate his body.

Dr. Parnia was able to deduce the amount of time the man was “conscious while unconscious” – about three minutes. Under normal circumstances, the brain stops functioning approximately 30 seconds after heart failure.

Parnia points to this man, and other “outliers,” as potential evidence for a phase, however brief, between life and death.

Reconsidering death

Dr. Parnia, who continues to face a backlash among his colleagues, posits that death is a “potentially reversible process.” Parnia’s proposition is in stark contrast to majority scientific consensus, in which death is a defined as a given moment – an exact time that ends all biological functions of a person, and the end of life.

Parnia isn’t alone

“If you imagine that there is life, and then a borderline, and then there’s death, I think that what we’re going to learn is now a space in between,” says Lance Becker, a prominent hypothermia researcher at the University of Pennsylvania.

That’s right. Hypothermia. The condition wherein one’s body temperature drops to a (usually) fatal level.

The induction of extreme cold, while it may cause death, can also save life. Our body’s two primary organs, the brain and heart, require minimal amounts of oxygen in a hypothermic state. Further, cellular breakdown all but ceases.

It’s also a state, cryogenic preservation, that a small number of people voluntarily enter into after death. The whole “after death” thing is the biggest problem.

As Judith Shulevitz (somewhat crudely) writes in the New Republic: “People who buy and sell cryonic services traffic in magical thinking, not science. In all probability, cryonically pickled brains have already turned to mush.”

However, the freezing of living organisms to be resuscitated at a later date has already been achieved. Many scientists believe that once they’re successfully able to manipulate the genome to decelerate metabolism (an essential component of extending life), human beings may just inch a bit closer towards “immortality.”

There may be a “line” between life and death after all.

Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Parnia

https://newrepublic.com/article/118746/cryogenic-preservation-changing-what-it-means-be-dead
https://newrepublic.com/article/119755/human-consciousness-life-after-death-research

11 Signs Your Partner May Be Sleeping With Someone Else

No one likes to think about whether or not their partner is seeing or sleeping with someone else. In an ideal world, no one would have to deal with the heartbreak that comes with being cheated on. Unfortunately, these things do happen. Hopefully, your relationship is one where open and honest communication comes before the possibility of your partner seeking an extramarital affair.

But if that isn’t the case, there are plenty of ways to tell whether or not your partner is sleeping with someone else. Of course, context is key. Some of these signs, by themselves, don’t mean your partner is cheating. You need to look at the bigger picture, pattern of behavior, and see if it’s out of the norm.

“Cheating is never to do with how attractive you are.” – Marie Helvin

Is Your Partner Sleeping With Someone Else?

Watch for these signs.

sleeping with someone else

1. Someone sleeping with someone else become protective of their phone

If your partner, in the past, was not very protective of their phone and “if you notice a change in phone habits — like suddenly on silent all the time”, it could be a sign that there’s something on there that they don’t want you to see, says author Marina Sbrochi.

You’ve probably had no issue using your partner’s phone for something in the past – but now, they seem to be extremely protective, even going so far as to put a lock on it that prevents you from opening it.

2. They’re (too often) home late from work

If your partner is usually home by a certain time every day, but suddenly they’re staying late at work, it could be an excuse for them to see someone else behind your back. It’s a common enough excuse that many people don’t think too much about.

As dating and relationship advice and etiquette expert April Masini says, “When someone stops coming home at the regular time, on a regular basis, be wary. When a schedule changes and there’s no comment about why or what he or she is doing differently, it may be because your spouse is cheating on you.

3. Showering as soon as they get home

Unless your partner does a job like construction, roofing, or something else that’s bound to get them dirty, taking a shower as soon as they get off work can be a sign that they’re trying to wash away the evidence of another person. They might want to scrub away some errant lipstick, or a hint of cologne or perfume. This is a sign, especially if their showering habits are changing suddenly.

4. Their libido is down if they are sleeping with someone else

People’s libido often fluctuate due to stress, nutrition, lack of exercise, or any other reason. A fluctuating libido isn’t a sign in and of itself. But, if it has always been pretty regular, and they start no longer desiring your attention, it may be because they’re getting their needs met elsewhere. But why?

Psychotherapist and author Tina B. Tessina, PhD., says, “Most women cheat because they feel emotionally deprived, and men are unfaithful because they often feel physically deprived.

5. They’re not as present during time together as they used to be

Now, perhaps your partner is still spending time with you – but maybe they don’t make you feel special like they used to. If your time together has gone from exciting and enjoyable for a long time to simply sharing  a few minutes together, it may be a sign that your partner is simply trying to placate you, while pursuing more enjoyable time elsewhere.

sleeping with someone else

6. They pay more attention to their appearance

This sign doesn’t always mean that they’re sleeping with someone else – especially if they’ve already discussed with you wanting to change their appearance. However, if your partner goes from not caring much about how they look, to suddenly preening like a peacock, they may be trying to impress someone else.

Masini adds, “If your partner starts suddenly looking a lot better than he or she used to, they may be cheating.” If you’re not sure that the person they’re trying to impress is you, this can point to a sign of your partner stepping out.

7. They’re unexpectedly trying something new

Of course, this also doesn’t automatically mean that your partner is cheating on you. Usually, something new is going to be communicated between the two of you. However, if your partner is suddenly engaging with you in a way that seems unnatural, it may be a sign that they’re actually figuring this stuff out with someone else.

8. You can never get a straight answer

If your partner has gone from being open and honest in all of their communication, to being flighty and cagey, it’s probably a sign that they have something to hide from you. Getting a straight answer may feel impossible, even something as simple as how their day at work went. This can be a sign that they’re trying to hide something – or someone.

9. They’ve picked up new habits

These habits can be anything from suddenly being over-protective of their phone, to not picking up their phone when you call. The new habits that your partner exhibits will often be hard to explain away, and your partner may feel defensive if you try to bring them up. This can be a sign that they’re seeing someone else and they don’t want you to know about it.

10. You’re feeling ignored

One of the biggest signs that your partner is seeing someone else, is that feeling you get when you know that you’re no longer being appreciated in the relationship. While your partner may think that hiding evidence of the fact is enough, they may not notice that they’re treating you differently, and making you feel underappreciated.

sleeping with someone else

11. A partner sleeping with someone else avoids your friends and family

If your partner was very active in your social or family life before, but doesn’t seem to be showing too much of an interest now, it could be a sign that they’re trying to avoid a fallout. They may feel extremely guilty for seeing someone outside of the relationship, and seeing your friends and family can be a reminder of that.

Most of these signs are about extreme and sudden changes in behavior. If your partner exhibits these signs, but they don’t seem out of the ordinary for your relationship, it’s not likely that they’re seeing someone else. As always, context is important to understanding your partner’s behavior, and whether or not they’re seeing someone outside the relationship. If you suspect that they are, the best way to get an answer is to confront them directly, and try to have an honest conversation about what is going on.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Signs There’s Serious Chemistry Between You And Your Partner

What is “chemistry” anyways? The word chemistry itself is perplexing, isn’t it? Fortunately, we’re not discussing the type involving periodic tables and nerd goggles.

In simple terms, chemistry – in the context of a relationship – can be defined as a “connection between two people.” This type of chemistry can be romantic or platonic, positive or negative.

For this article, we’ll focus on positive and (mostly) romantic relationships. We’ll delve a bit into the science and psychology of romantic chemistry, as well.

Here are ten of the more common signs of chemistry:

So, how can you tell if this mysterious chemistry exists? Watch for these behaviors.

1. Plenty of Smiling Reveals Chemistry

If there’s a connection between two people, there’s likely to be plenty of smiles – and the reason is simple. When our brain is happy, we smile; a natural reaction that occurs between both friends and romantic interests.

Even shy and introverted types will flash the occasional big smile here and there when a connection is evident.

chemistry

2. A Sense of Familiarity

Ever meet someone and just hit it off? Not only did you hit it off, but you’ve also felt as if you’ve known the person for years.

A strong sense of familiarity doesn’t happen very often – and that’s part of what makes the sensation incredibly unique. When it happens, there’s a strong feeling of comfort and a natural, flowing conversation.

3. Sexual Attraction

We’re genetically inclined to seek someone with whom we have a strong physical attraction. Human beings are a mating and reproducing species, after all.

While strong sexual magnetism is the basis for romantic connections, there may be a bit of physical attraction in friendships as well; albeit to a much lesser degree and for different, more complex reasons.

4. Spiritual Connection [Quote P.T.]

While we’re sometimes unable to understand why we feel a particular spiritual connection to someone, there’s no denying its presence.

Kelly Campbell, an Associate Professor of Psychology at California State University – San Bernardino, writes in Psychology Today:

“I do know that when I first meet someone and experience that feeling, it puts me into the flow of life. I am rejuvenated and eager to learn more.

5. A Couple With the Same Sense of Humor Reveals Chemistry

Two individuals with the same sense of humor are likely to have great chemistry. Furthermore, this shared humor deepens the feelings you have for the other person, even if they’re just a friend.

Most individuals who have a similar sense of humor also think alike. It’s also a reliable and tested way to determine whether or not you have a connection with someone else.

relationships

6. “Mirroring”

Mirroring is a human behavior wherein a person subconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. People engage in mirroring whether or not we realize it.

It’s common for a person, when they feel a physical or emotional attraction to someone, to begin imitating the person’s posture or mannerisms (e.g., touching face, crossing arms, etc.)

Mirroring occurs in both platonic and romantic relationships.

7. Feeling Instantly Comfortable

We touched on this a bit in #2, but an immediate sense of comfort with someone is a powerful indication of chemistry.

When we meet someone for the first time, our natural tendency is to “stiffen up.” Our posture is straight, we use formal language, display nervous quirks, etc.

For some strange reason, certain people create this overwhelming sense of comfort (which may be spiritually-tied, as well). Many couples and close friends cite this phenomenon.

8. Same Interests

How many women can honestly say that they love video games? Football?

MMA?

How many men can honestly say that they love romantic comedies? Cuddling? Amy Schumer?

That isn’t trying to stereotype or pigeonhole either gender. The point is that male and female interests tend to go the opposite directions. There’s nothing wrong with this fact – it is what it is.

For friends and lovers, especially of the opposite sex, it is scarce to find someone with the same interests. Again, this is one component of chemistry that is exceptionally powerful.

9. Physical Contact Reveals Chemistry

Playful and innocent touching is a near-universal sign of chemistry. Though friends indeed engage in this type of “play touch,” it’s more commonplace during dating and further romance.

Play touch is the ultimate icebreaker. Men and women love using this behavior to gauge how someone feels about them. Mutual engagement of play touch is almost always a clear sign of chemistry.

10. Eagerness

The last behavior on our list is eagerness – missing the individual’s presence while anxiously awaiting the next opportunity to see them again.

Eagerness, while it doesn’t sound too exciting, is quite a beautiful thing. One delightful element of eagerness is that it remains – and to a strong degree– throughout the relationship.

chemistry

Final Thoughts on Noticing Partners With Chemistry

Even on days when our partner drives us up a wall, and we feel as if we couldn’t get any more frustrated, this feeling slowly gives way to a sense of anticipation – and of longing for the person we love.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

11 Hidden Things That Happen When You Hide Your Feelings

“We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions, as if it’s somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life.” ? Colleen Hoover

Everyone represses and hides their feelings every now and again, especially when we’re feeling sad.

There are many different reasons that we may endeavor to hide, or disguise, the emotional pain that comes in the wake of negative beliefs about ourselves evoked by a particular person or situation. But what they have in common is that they’re all fear-induced,” says clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer.

While we may not realize it, there are things that happen to us when we focus on hiding our feelings rather than dealing with them outright. In fact, repressed feelings may resurface in ways we least expect, especially through our behavior.

11 Things That Happen When You Hide Your Feelings (That You May Not Realize)

1. Taking care of others

While this may sound like a good thing, it can come at a great cost to your own emotional well-being. When you’re feeling low and depressed, it may feel easier to deal with other people’s problems that your own. Unfortunately, this can cause you to extend more emotional labor that you’re capable of giving out, and can make you feel even more worn out, tired and depressed.

2. Disappearing from the lives of people who matter

Every so often, you may find that you retreat from the lives of your friends and families for long periods of time – days, or weeks. You stop contacting them and stay within your own, quiet barrier. This is something that happens when we’re forced to face our emotions before we’re ready to do so. This happens when our emotions stay hidden. Instead of facing them, we retreat from situations that force us to do so.

3. Constantly staying busy

Perhaps you find that you’re more susceptible to facing your emotions when you have downtime. This can prompt you to keep yourself busier than normal. You may take on another job, or be constantly planning outings with friends and family in order to keep yourself busy. Without having a moment to yourself, you’re able to ignore the emotions that you’re keeping hidden.

4. “I’m fine!”

You may find this placating phrase come out of your mouth more and more when you’re repressing your emotions. Claiming that everything is all well and good, even when it isn’t, is a way to push people away so you don’t have to face your feelings. After all, if no one knows that you’re not doing well, you don’t have to admit it even to yourself.

As Jim Morrison pointed out, “The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.

5. Start developing new anxieties

I explain that, many times, people learn to hold in disturbing emotions such as sadness, anger, or hurt. So as adults, when any of these repressed feelings start to come to the surface, an internal alarm goes off that “dangerous emotions are about to erupt.” Thus, they feel anxious,” says licensed psychotherapist Becki Hein.

Therefore, even if you’re ignoring your emotions, you may still find that they find other ways to manifest in the form of new anxieties that weren’t there before. Perhaps you find it hard to leave the house, or have trouble getting together socially when people you were once entirely comfortable around.

6. Start feeling false positivity

Despite feeling miserable, you may find that you’re still able to put a self-deprecating humor and false-positivity on all of the things going wrong in life.  While this may seem like a good thing, the lack of real positivity can make keeping up this act particularly draining.

feelings

7. Constant need for control

You always plan ahead so that every second of your day is under your control. You leave no time for surprise or spontaneity because it would possibly force you to confront the feelings that you’re keeping locked away. You may find that you hate any down time that allows you to sit and think about how you’re feeling. So, instead, you would rather have all of your days planned out so you know exactly what’s going to happen.

8. Seeking bad relationships

These relationships aren’t always abusive, but they can be in some ways. Rather, the core is seeking out relationships with people who are wrong for you. This keeps you from having to face any kind of emotional intimacy that would require you to be real and honest with your partner or yourself, so you can keep your emotions under tight lock and key.

9. Everything becomes a joke

Even if you’re feeling like you’re drowning in your sadness, you’re somehow able to turn this into a joke. Laughing at your own pain becomes a way to brush it off, rather than dealing with it. It’s a defense mechanism that allows you to both keep your emotions hidden away while also holding people who want to help at arm’s length.

10. Start presenting a tough exterior

When you repress or hide your emotions, you may find that it’s harder to express the good ones, too. This causes you to show off a more tough exterior. This can cause people to stay distant from you, even when you need them to be there for you. You may start to come off like nothing bothers you, even when you’re hurting deeply inside.

11. Sadly, the positive emotions suffer

The thing about locking away your emotions means that you may start to lock away even the good ones, as well. When you refuse to let yourself feel sadness or grief, you may find that you’re unable to express joy, as well.

You may not realize it at first, but there are plenty of things that happen to us when we hide our feelings that expose how we really feel deep down. If you’ve ever found yourself doing these things, you may need to look into how hiding your emotions has affected your behavior.

“… if we truly want to make others more attuned to our vulnerable feelings, we need to manifest them physically and express them verbally,” adds Seltzer.

7 Signs You’re In The Best Relationship Of Your Life

One of the more ridiculous myths about “true love” is the idea of the soulmate – that there is someone out there who is your perfect match. A good relationship is about navigating the numerous differences between you – over politics, food, money, how to raise children,” says author Kate Figes.

Everyone wonders about their relationships, and some people often compare their relationship with their significant other to the relationships of people around them. Common questions that run through people’s minds include whether or not their relationship is happy and healthy.

Indeed, they can feel that way, but relationships can feel differently to people while they’re in them versus after they’ve ended. While there’s no right way to have a relationship, there are some standard things that most happy relationships meet every day. People in happy and healthy relationships will have a lot of the same qualities in their relationships.

“I think for any relationship to be successful, there needs to be loving communication, appreciation, and understanding.” – Miranda Kerr

Here Are 7 Signs You’re In The Best Relationship Of Your Life

relationship myths

1. You’re able to speak your mind

Healthy relationships are all about communication, and you know you’re in a great one when you’re able to speak your mind. You won’t have to feel afraid of upsetting your partner by staking your opinions and telling the truth. And your partner feels the same way. After all, communication in a relationship is a two-way street, and a happy, healthy relationship means you’ll both feel free to say what’s on your mind.

2. You have space to yourself

Even if you’re so in love you miss each other, you still have the space to be yourself and do what you want to do without your partner hovering over your shoulder 24/7.

Amy Baglan, CEO of MeetMindful, says, “A friend taught me that no matter how in love you are or how long you’ve been together, it’s important to take an exhale from your partnership. Hang out with girlfriends until late in the evening, take a weekend trip to visit family, or spend time ‘doing you’ for a while. Then when you go home to Yours Truly, you’ll both be recharged and ready to come together even stronger.”

A healthy relationship means giving one another time to miss each other. If you’re able to go out on your own without having your partner text you every five minutes to ask where you are or when you’ll be back, you’re in a pretty good relationship.

3. You like the relationship as is

The sign of an unhappy relationship is discontent and hoping that it will eventually change and work itself out. When you’re in a healthy and happy relationship, you like it just the way it is. There’s no waiting on your or your partner’s end for something to work out.  You’re accepted for who you are by your partner, and you’re not expected to change a part of your personality to suit them – and you don’t expect that from your partner, either.

4. You make decisions together

In a happy relationship, you and your partner make decisions together. This means that you’re not left surprised when your partner makes all of the big decisions for you – where to live, what to do with the house, or anything else like that. As a unit, you and your partner are making decisions, both big and small, and keeping one another informed of your thoughts and opinions.

As Dr. Sue Johnson mentions, “It is clear that when we know someone has our back, we are more confident and more adventurous. We achieve our goals more easily and are less derailed by disappointments.”

5. The relationship is balanced

Unbalanced relationships can cause a lot of stress and strain on one partner. A relationship with one partner doing all of the household chores while the other makes all of the money can be unsettling for one reason or another. Relationships become happier and healthier when there is balance. Sometimes this means giving up and compromising together.

6. You trust one another

Relationships don’t last if there’s mistrust between partners. Your relationship is probably excellent if you can trust your partner and tell them everything, and they can do the same with you. You can also trust them not to hurt you or do things that would upset you. Trust is a variation on respect, and when you and your partner respect and trust one another, the relationship is bound to be happy.

7. You’re intimacy is closer than anything you’ve ever felt

Healthy relationships have a level of intimacy that unhealthy relationships don’t. Dr. Patricia Thompson says, “From the time we are born, we are meant to be touched. Touch is linked with feelings of safety, trust, and support, and individuals who receive more physical affection report feeling more positively about their relationship and their partner…”

When a relationship has run its course, being physically intimate with one another might be the first thing to stop. However, if you find that you and your partner are still being close and still enjoy it just as much as the first time, congratulations, your relationship is going strong.

Happy and healthy relationships all have the same key ingredients that unhappy relationships don’t. Relationships aren’t all the same, and they don’t benefit from being compared to the people around you. But comparing your relationship to a healthy relationship can help ensure that you’re getting everything that you need emotionally, intellectually, and physically out of a relationship.

6 Habits to Maintain Your Happy Relationship

love

1.     Be Fully Present With Your Partner

What does this mean, exactly? Turn off the TV or put down your phone in your partner’s presence. You don’t always need background noise or activities during bonding time in a relationship. Sometimes, you need to enjoy one another’s a company without distractions.

In our digital world, relationships have suffered due to the advent of smartphones and other devices. We’re so caught up in social media and other forms of entertainment that we’ve lost touch with reality somehow. However, we can repair our relationships by simply giving the gift of our attention and presence.

Being fully present means turning toward your partner when they speak and listening to understand, not reply. It means enjoying you SO without any expectations or worries, being immersed in the here and now. Let go of any stress to get the most out of quality time with your beau.

2.     Do Something New and Exciting Together

Relationships start to feel stale, especially if you’ve been with your SO for many years. The honeymoon phase only lasts a short time, and then you come crashing back down to reality. Juggling careers, families, and other obligations, marriage takes a back seat, putting distance between partners.

Fortunately, studies prove that planning something exhilarating or spontaneous with your partner can reignite the flames in relationships. Everyone needs some novelty in their life, so if you’ve been in a rut, consider:

  • Planning a fun vacation to somewhere new with your partner
  • Taking a class together, such as a pottery or baking class
  • Working out together (studies show that exercising with your SO leads to greater relationship satisfaction)
  • Cooking dinner together
  • Going to a theme park together (adults need a break sometimes, too!)

3.     Practice Active Listening

As we said earlier, many couples suffer from a lack of communication in the modern world. They have so many responsibilities that they forget about their obligation to each other. So, they start to feel resentful and alienated in the relationship, leading to tension and passive-aggressive behaviors.

Fortunately, research shows that active listening leads to greater relationship satisfaction. Every couple should feel comfortable expressing themselves to one another in a safe, authentic manner. After all, what’s the point of a relationship if you can’t share your deepest thoughts or insecurities? Communication and trust provide the foundation of a healthy relationship, so if you’ve been feeling distant, make time for a heart-to-heart.

You can practice active listening in the following ways:

  • Look your partner in the eyes or touch their hand when they speak.
  • Listen to understand, not to reply.
  • Nod and ask questions during the conversation to show you’re engaged.
  • Show empathy by providing support and encouragement.
  • Turn off all devices during conversations, such as during mealtimes.
  • Open your heart and put yourself in their shoes.

4.     Check In With Each Other Throughout the Day

If you want to have a happy relationship, you should text each other during the day. Long working hours mean many partners only see each other during the evenings. This can easily create a rift between partners as they struggle to make time for themselves. However, you can make up for this by emailing or messaging throughout the day.

Send your partner cute, positive messages such as:

  • “How’s your day going? I miss you!”
  • “Can’t wait to see you tonight!”
  • “I hope you’re having a great day!”
  • “You’re my favorite person in the whole universe.”
  • “I hope you know how much you mean to me.”

And don’t forget to add in heart or hug emojis for good measure!

5.     Go To Bed At The Same Time

Studies show that couples who have synchronized sleep schedules experience an increase in REM sleep. This makes sense because going to bed with a partner increases feelings of safety and security. So, if you want a happy relationship, try to align your sleep schedule with your partner’s.

This might mean going to bed a bit later or earlier than you intended. However, you’ll get to spend more time with your partner as you unwind for the day, a worthwhile reward indeed. Many couples don’t even see each other until the evenings, so bedtime is essential for bonding.

You can even extend the bedtime routine by brushing your teeth and doing other nighttime activities together. Plus, going to bed simultaneously gives you a chance to cuddle, and who would object to that?!

6.     Learn the Love Language of Your Partner

We all speak a different love language based on preferences and past experiences in relationships. Learning how your partner gives and receives love can strengthen your relationship and create a deeper connection. Researchers explain that five love languages exist, which include the following:

  • Acts of Service. This involves doing things for your partner, such as assisting with errands and chores. It can also mean showing acts of kindness like bringing your partner coffee in bed, washing their car, or giving them a massage. To them, actions speak louder than words.
  • Words of Affirmation. If your partner speaks this love language, it means they want to show your love verbally. Affirming words that show how much you appreciate and care about them will melt their heart!
  • Giving Gifts. Some people like to receive gifts to feel loved in a relationship. It doesn’t have to be anything grandiose; even a flower or box of chocolates would mean the world to them. They especially enjoy gifts that have a sentimental value, such as a framed picture or engraved necklace.
  • Quality Time. Having this love language means your partner enjoys undivided attention and meaningful conversations. They don’t need a fancy date night or extravagant vacation; they want your company, no matter what you’re doing together.
  • Physical Touch. Your partner feels the most loved when you cuddle, hold hands or engage in other acts of intimacy. The closeness of physical touch makes them feel loved and safe, allowing any stress to disappear.perfect person

Final Thoughts on the Best Relationship of Your Life

Every relationship requires commitment and effort to not only survive but thrive. You may date a while before finding your special someone, but you know when it feels right in your heart. The best relationship of your life will make you feel comfortable in your skin. You will also feel loved and secure and never want to live without your partner. Everyone deserves this kind of relationship, so never settle until you find it!

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