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5 Signs Your Partner Is Emotionally Disconnected

September 24, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Are you in an emotionally disconnected relationship?

The distance can always grow between two partners, even in the most committed relationships. It often sneaks up on you unexpectedly. Before you know it, there’s a gaping chasm between you and your significant other. Even worse, you are not quite sure how to fix it. It’s distressing to be in, as you are so used to love and affection for that person. It can be confusing and scary when those feelings diminish.

Unfortunately, those feelings of estrangement are very hard to remove altogether. It’s no one’s fault in particular, but to start fixing the problem, you need to look at yourself first and see what you can change in your behavior.

Researcher David M. Frost, Ph.D., says, “Our study found that people who yearn for a more intimate partnership and people who crave more distance are equally at risk for having a problematic relationship. If you want to experience your relationship as healthy and rewarding, you must find a way to attain your idealized level of closeness with your partner.”

Here are five signs to look out for, and some advice on what you can do if you feel that distance growing.

Here Are 5 Signs You’re Emotionally Disconnected From Your Partner

“Detachment produces a peculiar state of mind. Maybe that’s the worst sentence of all, to be deprived of feeling what a human being ought to be entitled to feel.” – James Dickey

1. You take your stress out on them

When all the stress factors, like your job or your family, pile up, you can quickly become moody, irritable, and snappy with your SO. In fact, your stress makes you hyper-focus on your problems, and sometimes you start taking your better half for granted. This can also lead to what we call “wandering eyes”, i.e. you start looking for something that you think will be better because you’ve started associating your significant other with all the other problems in your life.

Gary Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., co-founder of Science of Relationships, says, “You stop caring as much about anyone else. The focus is on your plight of excessive demand and inefficient resources…”

The key to resolving this behavior is to find ways to reduce stress. Try yoga or practice mindfulness. Maybe sign up to that Zumba class that you’ve been meaning to try for ages. Reduce your pressure, and you’ll see it disappear from your relationship.

2. No more sex when emotionally disconnected from your partner

You’re either too tired or not in the mood to have sex, but one too many rejections can create that gap of emotional detachment. Physical contact is just as important as romance, as it can be a great way to communicate your love without words. Maybe you’re not doing it consciously, but turning down your partner’s advances can make them feel like they’re not attracted to you anymore. The solution to this is obvious: invest more in your physical relationship. Maybe spice things up in bed a little bit, or plan a romantic evening when it’s just the two of you. When you reintroduce good sex into your relationship, things almost always start looking up again.

3. You’re unfair with chores

It’s natural that when you live together, you will focus on certain chores more than others. Maybe you have an affinity towards doing the dishes, whereas your partner prefers to be the one always to take the trash out. However, these chores must be regularly reconsidered to ensure an even split of the workload. If you start ignoring your own chores, or you’re expecting your partner to do them, that can lead to emotional detachment. It works the other way around, too, if your partner ignores their chores.

To resolve this, sit down and have a frank conversation about what’s bothering you. Then plan how to tackle household work together.

4. No emotional support exists in an emotionally disconnected partnership

Whether you have good news or bad news, your first reaction is to share it with the people you love most. Think about it – how does your partner relate to your experiences? Sometimes, you may find that you don’t tell them about what you’re going through because you don’t think you’ll get a reaction from them. That makes you aggravated and emotionally distant, as you don’t feel appreciated and loved.

If you want to fix this, you need to have a frank conversation with your partner about how you feel and the levels of communication you require. Maybe they didn’t even realize they were doing it – and they will change their behavior when you point it out.

5. Emotionally disconnected partners fail to make time for each other

Remember how you used to spend every Saturday night on the sofa, watching the latest episode of Orange is the New Black? Do you feel tired and overwhelmed with everyday duties? It’s easy to say that we can’t deal with long discussions. However, that can only turn into a cause for emotional estrangement.

Everyone’s stressed and tired. But healthy relationships work on communication and enjoying each other’s company.

If that’s no longer the case, you may want to consider why that is and whether the real reason is that you’re tired or that you don’t want to be around your partner. Find the root cause and address it, and if you feel like spending time with your SO is a chore, then the love between you may be gone.

Final Thoughts: Know the Signs of a Checked-Out or Emotionally Disconnected Partner

Being emotionally detached is a hard thing for any couple to have to endure. Whether you feel estranged or your partner is now distant, it can go on for years without addressing it. Whatever the cause, make sure you act on it to avoid an imminent fallout later on.

“Connection with your partner will occur easily and naturally when you and your partner have the courage to fully embrace all your feelings with a deep intent to learn. You will easily and naturally connect with each other when you are both openhearted and connected with yourselves,” adds best-selling author Dr. Margaret Paul.

And, as always, consider what the benefits are and choose your fights wisely. Is it worth it to keep fighting, or is the damage already irreparable? If you choose to keep going, then make sure to look at yourself as well, rather than just your partner. That’s because it’s often both parties fault. Follow this advice and lead a happier, more fulfilling life with your better half.

5 Reasons Your Body Gets Inflammation (And How to Avoid It)

September 22, 2017 by Kristen Lawrence

What is inflammation?

You’ve probably heard the term ‘inflammation,’ but do you have a good understanding of what it is?

Inflammation is a vital defense mechanism of the body. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to neutralize things like bacteria, viruses, and toxins.

A response of the immune system, inflammation is the activation and deployment of proteins with “the aim being to remove harmful stimuli, including damaged cells, irritants, or pathogens – and begin the healing process.”

You’ve cut yourself before, right? What did the wound look like shortly after? Most likely, the skin around the cut appeared red and swollen. This reaction illustrates the immune system at work. The red and swollen area is a byproduct of the inflammatory response.

How is chronic inflammation different?

Chronic (long-term) inflammation is not a good thing, however. Monsour Mohamadzadeh, Ph.D., and director of the Center for Inflammation and Mucosal Immunology at the University of Florida, explains the difference:

“In a healthy situation, inflammation serves as a good friend to our body. But if immune cells start to overreact, that inflammation can be totally directed against us.”

10 Causes of Chronic Inflammation

Knowing the causes of the inflammation can help you beat it!

1. Being Overweight or Obese

Studies have shown that overweight people have higher concentrations of inflammatory proteins in fat cells. Obese women are especially at risk and are likelier to have higher inflammatory protein levels “AIF-1” than those within a healthy weight range.

2. Poor Gut Health

Certain things – such as antibiotics, disease, and poor diet – throw a wrench into our gut’s microbiome. While the word may sound like something out of a sci-fi movie, the microbiome is very real and vital. Our gut requires healthy amounts of good bacteria – and any disturbance to this balance can trigger inflammation.

3. Stress

Stress is a primary antagonist of many chronic health conditions – and it’s no surprise that the same goes for inflammation. In a recent study, researchers discovered that simply recalling a stressful past event can increase inflammation in the body.

4. Sleep Deprivation

An adequate amount of sleep (seven to nine hours for adults) is crucial for the body to repair itself. Our brain cleanses toxins and consolidates memory, and the body releases essential growth hormones, for example. In one study, a reactive protein that serves as a marker for inflammation levels was 25 percent higher in people who slept less than six hours per night.

5. Underlying Health Conditions

Addison’s, Crohn’s disease, and Celiac diseases, along with fibromyalgia, lupus, and psoriasis, are conditions that involve an over-stimulated immune system. Autoimmune disorders cause the body to constantly send inflammatory signals even without the presence of an outside danger. Then, the body attacks healthy tissue in response, leading to chronic inflammation. Certain bacteria and viruses also affect the regulation of the inflammatory response.

6. High Exposure to Toxins

Industrial chemicals and pollution can cause excess inflammation with long-term exposure. According to a comprehensive global review, air pollution can potentially damage every organ and cell in the body. People who live close to industrial sites or urban areas have the highest risk of developing chronic inflammation caused by pollution.

7. Untreated Acute Inflammation

Inflammation isn’t always damaging; it’s simply an immune response to a foreign threat such as bacteria, viruses, or an injury. However, when you have an untreated injury or infection, your body releases inflammatory proteins, which can lead to chronic inflammation.

8. Unhealthy Diet

Unfortunately, our modern diets have done a number on our health. Our bodies haven’t evolved for our highly processed diets, so eating these foods in excess causes poor health over time. As with other foreign threats like bacteria, our bodies respond to overly processed foods in the same manner by increasing inflammation.

9. Drinking Alcohol or Ingesting Drugs in Excess

Studies have shown that alcohol contributes to inflammation because it disrupts our gut microbiome. It also impairs the liver’s ability to filter out toxins, which can cause organ failure in severe cases. In addition, long-term drug abuse impairs the immune system and can lead to neuroinflammation.

10. Lack of Exercise or Overexercising

As with most things in life, we should always strive for a happy medium. Too much or too little of anything will usually lead to ill effects, such as inflammation. Overexercising may not seem harmful, but frequently engaging in high-intensity exercise can lead to chronic inflammation since your body won’t have time to heal. On the other hand, not exercising will cause a buildup of toxins, which will inevitably cause inflammation.

How Do I Get Rid of Inflammation?

Fortunately, advances in medicine have provided the answer to this important question. It is indeed possible to reverse chronic inflammation in many cases!

10 Efficient Ways to Reverse Inflammation

1. Lose Weight to Reduce Inflammation

Achieving and maintaining a healthy weight will help reduce inflammation in your body. Even a 5% reduction in weight can significantly lower inflammation levels. Aim for three days of exercise per week first, and then work your way up to five if possible. It’s recommended to get at least 150 minutes of moderate or intense physical activity each week.

2. Take Vitamin D.

In combination with a five to ten percent reduction in weight, individuals who supplement vitamin D may reduce their inflammation markers by nearly forty percent.

3. Take Fish Oil.

Omega-3 fatty acid has potent anti-inflammatory properties. Numerous studies have shown a reduction in inflammation levels in patients with various medical conditions who take fish oil supplements.

4. Meditate.

As stated, stress is a significant contributor to inflammation. Any activity that reduces stress levels is critical to helping maintain a healthy immune system. In a University of Wisconsin-Madison study, mindfulness-based stress reduction was more effective at lowering inflammation than other relaxation techniques.

However, any calming activity can help lower stress levels and inflammation. If you don’t enjoy meditating, you can do yoga, practice deep breathing, or even journal at bedtime.

5. Exercise.

Breaking a sweat helps us maintain a healthy weight and combat stress. A moderately-rigorous exercise regimen with an hour of aerobics and weight training 3-4 times weekly is recommended, though even a brisk walk is better than no exercise.

6. Follow an Anti-Inflammatory Diet.

As we stated above, one of the main reasons for inflammation in our modern world stems from an unhealthy diet. We often don’t have time to prepare healthy foods because of busy schedules, so we opt for fast foods instead. However, we pay the price for convenience with poor health in the long term.

To reduce inflammation, try to eat more fresh, whole foods such as fruits and vegetables. Even if you can’t eat fresh foods with every meal, choosing a healthier option more often will improve your health. Research shows that a Mediterranean diet that includes primarily plant-based foods can reduce inflammation, heart disease, and stroke.

7. Prioritize Sleep.

Most people suffer from sleep deprivation to some degree in the modern world. Make sure to stick to a sleep schedule and aim for seven to nine hours per night. The body and mind have a chance to recharge and heal during sleep, so it’s vital for overall health.

8. Avoid or Quit Smoking.

Smoking damages every cell in the body because it suppresses the immune system and triggers the release of pro-inflammatory proteins. It can also cause cancer, lung and vascular diseases, oral disease, and other health problems. However, by quitting smoking, you can reverse adverse health effects relatively quickly.

For instance, your circulation and lung function will improve just two weeks after quitting. In the first year, coughing and shortness of breath decrease, and the tiny hair-like structures in your lungs called cilia to resume normal functioning. After fifteen years, your risk of heart disease is similar to that of a non-smoker.

9. Work Less.

Overworking yourself can increase stress, which will lead to chronic inflammation. If possible, reduce your hours at work to part-time to manage stress and have a better work-life balance. Today, many people find that working 40 or more hours per week doesn’t offer enough downtime. Having a flexible schedule means prioritizing your health and family rather than work.

10. Practice Positive Thinking.

It’s sometimes challenging to maintain a positive outlook in our world today. However, try not to get caught up in the world’s news and events. Instead, focus on improving yourself and your life since you can’t control anything else regardless. By shifting your attention back to things you can control, you will start feeling more empowered and optimistic. Do the best you can with what you have, and let everything else take care of itself.

Final Thoughts on Causes and Treatment for Inflammation

The body and mind work together to carry out daily tasks and guide us through life. However, due to internal and external stressors, they can become imbalanced quite quickly in our modern world. Chronic stress can lead to inflammation, resulting in health problems such as heart disease, cancer, and other diseases. Therefore, it’s vital to reduce inflammation by maintaining a healthy lifestyle and managing stress.

Following the fundamental pillars of health, such as exercising, eating healthy, sleeping soundly, and practicing mindfulness, can keep inflammation (and stress) at bay.

7 Reasons People Get Depressed (and How to Avoid It)

September 22, 2017 by Power of Positivity

It’s very normal to feel stressed or upset sometimes. We all have days when we feel blue and upset about seemingly nonsensical things. However, if those feelings stick around and don’t go away, or interfere with your life significantly and hurt the people you love, you may be suffering from depression. Depression is a very common condition, which is why its symptoms can sometimes be overlooked, leading those who suffer from it to not seek any treatment.

Dr. Myrna Weissman says, “Now, depression is a biological disorder. It’s not all in your head. But the triggers of depression, and whether you have an episode and when you have an episode or an onset are probably related to environmental factors. And those are loss of attachments and stress and loss in your life.”

With depression, it’s always very difficult to identify the root cause of what’s making us upset. That’s because it’s often the case that it’s not just a single factor contributing to our depressive feelings but several circumstances, ranging from past experiences to current stressful situations. Here are seven of depression’s most common causes and several tips on how to avoid them.

Here Are 7 Reasons Why People Get Depressed And How To Avoid It

“Depression begins with disappointment. When disappointment festers in our soul, it leads to discouragement.” – Joyce Meyer

1. Overthinking and stress can cause you to be depressed

Naturally, stress is a part of everyone’s life, but depressed people have a tendency to go over and over stressful situations that they have experienced. Sometimes, trying to focus on the details of what’s made you stressed can actually cause you to relive the stressful situation again. That way, you can easily trap yourself in a vicious loop.

According to Mayo Clinic, “Chronic stressful life situations can increase the risk of developing depression if you aren’t coping with the stress well. There’s also increasing evidence of links among poor coping, stress and physical illness.”

A good way to overcome this is through mindfulness and affirmative thinking. It’s never easy to just stop thinking about something, so it’s always better to try and replace the stressful thoughts with something more affirmative.

2. Thinking the worst will happen

That’s kind of the same as overthinking but the other way around – overthinking something that will happen in the future rather than a past situation. Focusing too much on things like whether your new boss will like you or whether your date will go well only causes more stress which leads to depressive thoughts. The best way to avoid this behavior is to busy yourself with everyday chores and avoid focusing on what’s to come. Keep yourself rooted in the present to stop thinking about the future.

3. Having money troubles can cause you to feel depressed

Being in debt is always a stressful situation to find yourself in, and the more you dwell on the money you’ve already lost, the more acutely you’ll feel your depression creeping in. Researchers have found out that it’s not the lack of money that can fuel your depression, it’s chronic debt and being constantly poor.

Researcher Dr. Thomas Richardson says, “People who are depressed may struggle to cope financially and get into debt, which then sends them deeper into depression.”

A good way to remediate this is to focus on controlling your spending and trying to find activities to enjoy that don’t involve money. That way you can reassess some of the good, free things in your life.

4. Focusing on body image

In a society where body image is everything, it’s no surprise that many women and men get overly obsessed with the way they look. This obsession can very easily turn into depression. Giving in to that feeling and pushing yourself to an unachievable standard can lead to serious illnesses, such as anorexia. One way to avoid this is to raise your own self-esteem. Spend some time in the mirror, looking at your own body and the features of your face. Give yourself a compliment on the things you like. That way, once you start accepting yourself, you will see that others also accept you just as you are.

5. You can feel depressed because of a relationship breakdown

Relationships are hard, and seeing them end can often be a root cause for depressive feelings. It’s difficult to see someone drift away from you, especially if you’ve been so close. It can even lead you to think that you’ll never be able to find love again, or that you aren’t worthy of it.

Professor Constance Ahrons, PhD, states, “The depressed person often feels responsible, but they feel like they can’t do anything about [their inertia].” The best way to handle this is to talk to the people you love. Your family and friends will always be there for you and besides, when you share your pain, you’ll instantly feel better.

6. Due to old age

Emotional well-being can suffer a lot with old age. As our bodies change, our brains struggle to keep up and the emotional intensity of our experiences can make us miss our younger days. That’s why it’s very common for depression to develop after the age of 50. A great way to resolve this is to focus on your achievements through your life. Think about your family, or your career, your education – focus on what you’ve gained rather than on what you’ve lost.

7. Grief can cause you to be depressed

Grieving is a part of human nature; however, it is especially difficult when dealing with the loss of a loved one. If not handled correctly, grief can develop into a pattern for depression and even suicidal thoughts. The best way to ensure that is to talk to a specialist. Grief counselors help you come to terms with the concept of mortality and encourage you to grab life by the horns from now on. If you, or someone you know is grieving, make sure to seek help before it’s too late.

Society still stigmatizes mental health and mental illness today. Especially when it comes to depression, many cases go undiagnosed and can sadly end tragically. That’s why it’s vital to address symptoms of depression if you notice them in one of your friends, family, or even yourself.

No matter how hard anyone tries, you have to try and help yourself first. Recognize these seven reasons for depression and reflect on your own experiences with one or more of these life events. We need more and more people to be open and honest about their mental health if we are to ever break that taboo.

9 Ways to Win An Argument Every Time, According To Science

September 22, 2017 by Power of Positivity

If you find yourself losing every argument, you’re probably getting frustrated with it. Whether you’re having a spirited debate over politics, or current events, feeling like you’re not gaining the upper hand with your points is something that no one likes to experience.

“In an argument, your appraisal that you’re losing, your belief that you need to be “right,” and the extent to which you like the other person can all have an impact on the emotions you experience,” says author and professor of psychology Susan Krauss Whitbourne.

Fortunately, science has come through with a way for those of us who can’t seem to stand our ground to win in an argument. If you’re not naturally good at debating, these tricks can help you become better at arguing and even help you win the argument and help people see your side of things.

Here Are 9 Ways To Win The Argument (and End It)

“Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” – Jalaluddin Rumi

1. Have your opponent explain their thoughts first

You should ask open-ended questions that encourage them to explain their thought process and their argument. You can’t accurately debate someone without first understanding why they think the way they do, or even what their entire argument is. The other person is more likely to listen to your rebuttals when you first let them get their entire thought out before interrupting them or engaging them in an argument.

2. Mirror your opponent’s body language

You don’t want to be obvious about it, but subtly mirroring your opponent is a good way to get them to trust you, and thus make them more likely to listen to what you have to say. If the person that you’re debating is sitting cross-legged, try copying them as subtly as you can. Try not to mirror every single movement that they make, or you’ll just look like you’re mocking them! The key is to look natural!

“Mirroring builds agreement; you can often head off potential trouble by establishing a strong basis of nonverbal agreement before the real negotiating begins,” adds life coach, author and communication theorist Nick Morgan.

3. Make eye contact when a conversation starts

When your opponent begins speaking, make sure to maintain eye contact while they’re talking. This is scientifically proven to make your opponent less persuasive, which means that you’ll have the upper hand when it comes to providing counter-arguments. As soon as they start talking, make sure to maintain eye contact throughout their argument.

4. Repeat what you understand their argument to be

Before launching into your own counter-argument, make sure to paraphrase their own back to them from what you understand them to have said. This is an easy way to develop trust with your opponent because it proves that you were listening to them in the first place instead of just waiting to get your argument in. When your opponent feels they can trust you, it’ll be easier to make your own argument more persuasive.

“In the heat of battle, we often counterattack reflexively without making sure we’ve heard the other party. It wastes time and makes you look bad,” explains speech and presentation coach Sims Wyeth.

5. Acknowledge their points

If you agree with parts of their argument, make sure to tell them what parts and why, before you start presenting your own argument. This will help your opponent feel encouraged to consider your points of view once you present them because you’re affirming the things that they’ve said.

6. Know your facts like the back of your hand

“How many times have you made a claim about some piece of trivia only to realize, as soon as you’ve made that claim, that you’re completely wrong? Inevitably, someone challenges you, but because you don’t want to “lose,” you continue to stick to your guns,” adds Whitbourne.

Therefore, when presenting your counter-arguments, make sure you know what you’re talking about. If you can’t explain your argument when asked to expand on certain points, it’s time to go back to the drawing board. Make sure you know your argument inside and out before presenting it. Nothing will make you lose an argument faster than not being able to expand on your points.

7. Prompt your opponent to agree with you

Ending your statements with verbal affirmations will prompt your opponent to see things from your point of view, and end up agreeing with your points. Ending your statement with things like “…wouldn’t you?” or “…isn’t it?” will make your opponent more likely to concede to your arguments.

8. Lower your voice

During the argument, try not to raise your voice. This is more likely to put someone into fight or flight mode and shut them off from considering your points of view.

“Be mindful of your emotions. When anger and fear overtake you, your cause will be weakened. Be passionate. Be expressive. But stay calm and carry on. Anger makes you less appealing,” adds Wyeth.

When you lower your voice, it will make people more at ease and trusting. This is key to getting people to be persuaded by your point of view.

9. Identify shared ground

Most importantly, make sure you maintain a positive atmosphere throughout the argument. Pointing out the things that you and your opponent agree on will make them more likely to listen to the things that you don’t, and may even persuade them to accept your point of view. This can help your power of persuasion.

If you’re not a natural born debater, getting into an argument can be pretty intimidating. Luckily, there are ways to make your debating skills stronger and make your points more persuasive, all backed by science! You may not persuade everyone with these tricks, but you’re definitely going to be getting more people to listen to your point of view than before. At the very least, you’ll start to feel more confident when it comes to arguments and debating the things you believe in!

Researchers Reveal 5 Behaviors Highly Confident People Avoid

September 22, 2017 by Power of Positivity

An interesting study explains why highly confident people make life look effortless.

Dr. Travis Bradberry, a co-author of the outrageously successful book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, discusses a research trend that has taken hold in psychology – studying gender-based differences:

“Studies exploring the performance gap between men and women in math and spatial skills have found that confidence plays a huge role.”

Dr. Bradberry makes a rather bold statement – as do many others.

In a 1,300-person study conducted by researchers at the University of Maryland, authors discovered that the perceived gender gap in spatial abilities disappears when gender differences in skill are not assumed.

Other studies, measuring not only spatial but other cognitive faculties, have produced similar outcomes.

“True” Confidence

Dr. Bradberry distinguishes between “true” confidence and egotism or swagger.

“True confidence is very different … When people believe in themselves and their abilities without bravado, there are certain things they simply don’t do.”

In other words, confident people have a set of behaviors – a code of conduct, if you will – that deters them from sabotaging their progress. We’ll discuss these actions in some more detail in the following section.

5 Things that Confident People Avoid

“A bulk of research shows that when people are put in situations where they are expected to fail, their performance does plummet. They turn into different people. Their head literally shuts down, and they end up confirming the expectations. When they’re expected to win, their performance shoots back up. Same person, different expectations.” ~ Scott Barry Kaufman, Ph.D.

1. They don’t care about attention

Perhaps more than any other personality trait, people gravitate towards those who possess a good attitude and positive outlook. Confident people innately know this, which helps explain why they don’t care about any attention they do or do not receive.

When a confident person does receive attention, it is well-deserved. But what’s interesting is they’ll redirect the spotlight off of themselves and shine it towards those who helped them along the way (colleagues, bosses, family).

In short, a confident person draws satisfaction not from attention, but from self-esteem.

2. They refuse to make excuses

There’s really no other way to put it: too many of us (including yours truly) make excuses. Does making excuses mean we’re bad people? No. Does it mean we’re failures? Absolutely not.

What it does mean is that we need to take a bit more accountability for ourselves. This isn’t easy in a 24/7 society that tries to pump every last ounce of productivity from us; but – if we’re confident in ourselves – and in our poise and inner-strength, we can still push through.

Very confident people do exactly that.

3.They don’t avoid conflict

Listen up, some of us (again, including the author) despise conflict. (Most introverts do; damn – I made an excuse!)

Much as we may hate conflict, it is part of life. Confident people don’t define conflict as something to avoid, but something to be properly managed.

This doesn’t mean confident people go around strutting and beating their chest – that’s bravado. However, confident folks will “eat the frog” and face conflict gracefully and with an open mind.

4. They don’t seek admiration or praise

How many of you have worked with a person who always needed constant affirmation or praise? This situation can be annoying.

Confident people do not engage in this type of self-serving behavior. If anything, they actively avoid doing things that make them “stand out.”

Confident people have what’s called an internal locus of control. An internal locus of control – a concept birthed in the 50’s by psychologist Julian Rotter – emphasizes self-efficacy. The term is defined as:

“The belief that events in one’s life, whether good or bad, are caused by controllable factors such as one’s attitude, preparation, and effort.”

On the other side of the coin, individuals with an external locus of control blame everything that happens on outside forces. A belief that, ultimately, doesn’t get them anywhere.

5. They don’t procrastinate

Procrastination is a behavior we all engage in – some to a greater degree than others. Again, this doesn’t mean we’re bad people – it means we’re human.

Confident people fall on the right side of the “procrastinate/take action scale.” Part of the reason for this is that certain people have fewer fears – of change, failure, or even success – than others.

Here’s something we all need to remind ourselves from time to time: there is often no “right time,” “right way,” or “right circumstance.” The present is the only time that matters.

Let us make good use of the present.
(Readers: do you have anything to share about confidence? Have you successfully overcome any of these self-limiting obstacles? Please share your story!)

Sources:
http://www.pnas.org/content/108/36/14786.full
http://www.medicaldaily.com/vitamin-overdose-taking-too-many-vitamins-can-be-bad-your-health-how-many-would-it-315426
https://heleo.com/10-behaviors-confident-people-avoid/14800/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/201112/confidence-matters-just-much-ability
https://psychcentral.com/encyclopedia/internal-locus-of-control/
https://psychcentral.com/encyclopedia/locus-of-control/
https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2004-08/uot-ses080404.php
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/critical-things-confident-people-wont-do-dr-travis-bradberry

8 Signs A Child Is Being Bullied (And Not Telling Anyone)

September 22, 2017 by Power of Positivity

buIs your child bullied by others?

In 2005, the U.S. federal government began collecting statistics when the rate of bullying was around 28 percent.

Three of every ten kids went to school knowing they’d be harassed, even physically harmed. In a civilized society, this rate should be considered completely unacceptable.

Ready for another troubling statistic?

64% of bullied children do not report it.

In this article, we’re going to discuss eight signs of bullying and what can be done to encourage a child to speak up. In addition, we’ll provide some resources to assist with the problem.

First, here are the eight signs of bullying a child may be hiding:

1. Changes in behavior or personality

Bullying can be devastating to a child’s self-esteem or self-worth. Sudden or behavioral and personality changes may be difficult to observe at first, however, these changes will gradually become more apparent as the bullying continues.

As soon as these changes become apparent, it is necessary to try and get to the root of the issue.

2. Unexplainable injuries

In cases of extreme bullying, the child may show injuries they can not explain. Bruises and swollen areas are among the most common types of injuries. Bullies generally avoid the face area due to the fear of being found out; instead focusing on the torso and legs.

A child who cannot explain an injury may be experiencing physical harm from their peer(s).

3. Not wanting to go to school

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported the following in the 2013 national Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS):

– 21% of high school kids report missing school because of bullying.

– 11% report missing school because of electronic bullying (cyberbullying).

Not only are kids subject to in-person bullying when they attend school, but it also doesn’t end once they’re out of class. Due to the rapid growth of social media, they receive negative feedback on Facebook, Instagram, and other social platforms.

4. Difficulty studying

Unsurprisingly, bullying negatively affects a child’s engagement with their schoolwork. Lack of study time correlates to declining academic achievement (see below).

Sadly, this trend is worsening because of the amount of technology kids have available. They’re more likely to use a computer or mobile device as a means of an ‘escape’ than leveraging them for learning purposes.

5. Change in eating habits

Dana Thompson, a registered dietitian in Glendale, Arizona, gives an example of how bullying can alter a child’s eating habits:

“One of the things that is being reported is the significant amount of peer pressure exerted by certain girls to ‘not eat lunch,” she continues, “Girls are avoiding eating or throwing out their lunch for fear of rejection by cliques.” Boys also face pressure in this regard but to a lesser degree.

Further, bullying increases the child’s risk of anxiety and depression; two conditions linked to “disordered eating patterns.”

6. Decline in academic performance

One of the more tragic outcomes of bullying is a child not fulfilling their potential. School is supposed to be a place for learning and development. Children who are bullied do not see school in this light. Instead, they see it as a place to avoid.

Poor academic performance further hampers a child’s self-esteem and may alter their life choices; potentially even their future.

If a child is performing below their capabilities, a serious discussion is in order.

7. Self-destructive habits

As stated above, bullying can hurt a child’s mental health. In cases of abuse., the longer it continues, the worse the mental health outcome.

Long-term bullying of a child alters their brain’s chemistry during a time when the brain is developing rapidly. The negative effects of this cognitive change manifest in alcohol and drug abuse statistics, and rates of self-harm or suicide.

8. You have an instinct

If you’re a parent, you understand what it means to have a parental instinct. Something isn’t right with your child, and you just can’t put the finger on it. Intuitive and observant adults, even those who aren’t the child’s parent, may sense something is amiss.

“What can I do?”

Do NOT ignore your instincts. Be the responsible adult and take the initiative.

If you’re a parent or teacher, you are in the best possible position to uncover what – if anything – is going on. Remember, over 60% of bullied kids don’t tell anyone.

If you suspect bullying, it is important to ask direct questions. For example, “You’re so hungry. Have you been eating lunch?”

After asking the question, watch the child’s reaction. What they do not say is often more important than what they do. Watch their body language for fidgeting, and see where they direct their eyes.

If a child is silent or has no reasonable explanation to your question, it’s important to persist and attempt to uncover the truth. If your child is bullied, take the appropriate actions.

For more information on bullying, including professional advice, please see www.stopbullying.gov.

A group of ambitious students has developed a smartphone application called ‘Be Strong’ available on iOS and Android. On the site, bullied students can access a wealth of coping resources for free.

As adults, it is up to every one of us to do what we can to help a child facing bullying.

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Here Are 5 Signs You’re Emotionally Disconnected From Your Partner

1. You take your stress out on them

2. No more sex when emotionally disconnected from your partner

3. You’re unfair with chores

4. No emotional support exists in an emotionally disconnected partnership

5. Emotionally disconnected partners fail to make time for each other

Final Thoughts: Know the Signs of a Checked-Out or Emotionally Disconnected Partner

How is chronic inflammation different?

10 Causes of Chronic Inflammation

1. Being Overweight or Obese

2. Poor Gut Health

3. Stress

4. Sleep Deprivation

5. Underlying Health Conditions

6. High Exposure to Toxins

7. Untreated Acute Inflammation

8. Unhealthy Diet

9. Drinking Alcohol or Ingesting Drugs in Excess

10. Lack of Exercise or Overexercising

How Do I Get Rid of Inflammation?

10 Efficient Ways to Reverse Inflammation

2. Take Vitamin D.

3. Take Fish Oil.

4. Meditate.

5. Exercise.

6. Follow an Anti-Inflammatory Diet.

7. Prioritize Sleep.

8. Avoid or Quit Smoking.

9. Work Less.

10. Practice Positive Thinking.

Final Thoughts on Causes and Treatment for Inflammation

Here Are 7 Reasons Why People Get Depressed And How To Avoid It

1. Overthinking and stress can cause you to be depressed

2. Thinking the worst will happen

3. Having money troubles can cause you to feel depressed

4. Focusing on body image

5. You can feel depressed because of a relationship breakdown

6. Due to old age

7. Grief can cause you to be depressed

Here Are 9 Ways To Win The Argument (and End It)

1. Have your opponent explain their thoughts first

2. Mirror your opponent’s body language

3. Make eye contact when a conversation starts

4. Repeat what you understand their argument to be

5. Acknowledge their points

6. Know your facts like the back of your hand

7. Prompt your opponent to agree with you

8. Lower your voice

9. Identify shared ground

5 Things that Confident People Avoid

1. They don’t care about attention

2. They refuse to make excuses

3.They don’t avoid conflict

4. They don’t seek admiration or praise

5. They don’t procrastinate

First, here are the eight signs of bullying a child may be hiding:

1. Changes in behavior or personality

2. Unexplainable injuries

3. Not wanting to go to school

4. Difficulty studying

5. Change in eating habits

6. Decline in academic performance

7. Self-destructive habits

8. You have an instinct

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Rise and Shine On! Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist

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