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5 Most Commons Signs of Irritable Bowel Syndrome

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What’s irritable bowel syndrome?

Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a chronic medical condition that affects the large intestine, or colon. While IBS doesn’t pose a threat to long-term health, its symptoms can be quite severe.

The good news is that IBS isn’t linked with an increased risk of colon cancer unlike other inflammatory bowel conditions, e.g., Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis.

In this article, we’re going to talk about 5 common signs, or symptoms, of IBS. It’s important to understand this about the disorder, per the NHS (UK):

“(Symptoms) vary between individuals and affect some people more severely than others. (Symptoms of IBS) tend to come and go in periods lasting a few days to a few months at a time, often during times of stress or eating certain foods.”

First, the five most common symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Let’s take a look at how to live a lot more comfortably with IBS, simply by changing some up some old habits!

irritable bowel syndrome

1. Abdominal pain and/or cramping

The pain symptoms of IBS are felt mostly in the abdomen. IBS pain and discomfort are often described as crampy, or as a common achy feeling. People with IBS often experience “sharp, dull, or (gas-like) pains” as well.

Relief of abdominal pains and cramps following a bowel movement (BM) is typical.

HELP!: Incorporate a moderate about of soluble fiber in your diet. Excellent sources include barley, whole wheat bread, brown rice, dried fruits, whole-grain pasta, and oats!

2. Sudden changes in bowel habits

As mentioned, Irritable bowel syndrome symptoms tend to be intermittent. That is, IBS sufferers won’t always feel gut trouble. Then all of a sudden, the stomach rumbles and tumbles. (Think of Jeff Daniels trip to the bathroom in “Dumb and Dumber.” This hilarious/crude scene portrays this IBS tendency quite accurately – with a smidgen of drama.)

Once again, try implementing some fiber into your diet if you’re not currently doing so. A well-balanced diet is crucial to combating IBS.

3. Struggles with anxiety and stress

Doctors don’t know what causes Irritable bowel syndrome, though anxiety and stress are thought to worsen – and perhaps trigger – the condition. Per WebMD, work, commuting, relationship problems, financial troubles, and feelings of overwhelm are often cited by IBS patients.

Help!: The solution is to try and relax! It’s important to engage in activities that you love, whatever those may be. Additionally, if IBS is affecting your work or relationships, consider taking up meditation or therapy to help you cope. There are plenty of free resources available online, so do some digging!

4. Swelling or bloating in the stomach area

Of all IBS symptoms, swelling or bloating of the abdomen may be the most uncomfortable. Worse, this feeling may persist following a BM (though it’s more common to feel relief.)

Swelling and bloating might be your stomach’s way of saying “I’ve got something in here I shouldn’t!” With that in mind, do you know what food types trigger stomach upset? For example, does your stomach react differently to spicy, starchy, or sweet foods? Try thinking about this and adjusting your diet accordingly.

5. “Other” triggers

Though we commonly associate IBS with dietary habits, other factors are known to exacerbate symptoms. It’s not uncommon for someone taking certain medicines to feel worse, for example. Menstrual cycles often create more severe symptoms in women with irritable bowel syndrome, as well.

HELP!: Antibiotics and antidepressants are two classes of drugs that can make IBS symptoms worse. The latter is frequently cited as a problem among IBS patients. SSRI drugs, such as Prozac and Zoloft, may induce diarrhea. Older types of antidepressants (pre-2000’s) can also cause constipation problems and IBS.

Birth control medication may also produce aggravated irritable bowel syndrome symptoms. Known side effects of birth control pills, including upset stomach and bloating, may get worse in IBS patients.

10 Important Life Lessons We Can Learn From Louise Hay

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At Power of Positivity, we pass our condolences to her family and friends of Louise Hay, who peacefully passed on from this world in her sleep at ninety years of age.

She was the founder of Hay House, Inc. Started from her living room, her movement turned into Hay House, Inc., a publishing company that has sold millions of books and other products on a global scale, with offices in California, New York, London, Johannesburg, Sydney, and New Dehli.

Louise had her first book called “Heal Your Body”, as known as “the little blue book”, published in 1976 and since then, Hay House has published books from notable self-help authors, including: Dr. Wayne Dyer, Doreen Virtue, Esther and Jerry Hicks, and Dr. Christine Northrup. She was also a master of visualisation, affirmations, nutritional cleansing, and pyschotherapy, which was required when she was diagnosed with cancer.

Thanks to these unconventional methods, she went into remission and was completely cured of cancer within six months. Regarded by many as one of the founders of the self-help movement, even being dubbed “the closest thing to a living saint”, it seemed like her superpower was indeed helping others. That was until August 30th 2017.

So, what was her message? Let us celebrate her life and legacy by revealing ten invaluable life lessons from Louise Hay herself.

1. “Love is the miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.”

louise-hay-quote

This is the glue that holds everything together, the profound experience of self-love. As you love and accept yourself as you truly are, you experience things that are seemingly impossible. This teaching also tells us that we must allow the love in and be prepared for it when it comes. When you allow this love to flow through you, you receive the beautiful gift self-awareness. The Collins dictionary definition of self-awareness is “the quality of being conscious of one’s own feelings, character, etc.”

 2. “I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life, and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.”

Ah yes, self-worth. Instead of beating yourself up and harshly criticising yourself, find small parts of your being and approve of and feel happy about them, then you will find that your life starts to change for the better. This does not mean that you must accept what is, but what it does mean is that we can now go for what we want and live our life without any blame or judgment.

3. “Every thought we think is creating our future.”

Positive versus negative thinking. Pay attention to your thoughts because they are shaping your future, so every thought counts. It is so much easier to create the life that you want when your thoughts are happy, energising, and empowering. On the other hand, a negative thought can quickly turn into tension, worry, which can waste your time and sap your energy. Louise has a technique to share to release a bad thought: whenever an unwanted negative thought enters your mind, you tell that thought to get out! Louise explains, “I say “Out” to every negative thought that comes into my mind. No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it.”

4. “I am willing to open up to the abundance and prosperity that is available everywhere.”

Louise talked about when in the ocean, you will only get a thimble or spoon of water if you bring a thimble or spoon with you. So do you go round in the vast ocean known as life with just a thimble? Or do you have a spoon? Maybe you brought a bucket with you? Or do you have a constant connection to the ocean? Answer honestly. Take your time if need be. Worrying is the main killer of abundance and will only make matters worse for you. Listen to Bobby McFerrin’s song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” to help turn that frown upside down!

5. “I have noticed that the Universe loves gratitude. The more grateful you are, the more goodies you get.”

Are you breathing? Good, now say thank you for each breath you take. Are you reading this article intently? Good, now say thank you for reading it. Do you have people around you who love you? Good, now say thank you for having those people. Start with the small stuff, then you will get to say thank you for the bigger things also. By the way, thank you for reading this article so far.

beverly cleary6. “Be willing to take the first step, no matter how small it is. Concentrate on the fact that you are willing to learn. Absolute miracles will happen.”

The best way to get ahead is to get started and unexpected things start to happen once you get going. We always need an open mind when we want to learn, even more so when we first start on our journey. So learn your butt off, keep an open mind about what you learn, and you will see interesting developments arising. Louise had her own Einstein-esque equation with regard to this: Take first step/Take action + Have beginner’s mind/Be willing to learn = Great stuff! E=mc what?!

7. “We are far more than our bodies and personalities. The inner spirit is always beautiful and lovable, no matter how our outer appearances change.”

Your very essence is far more powerful than you realize. You are the inner light, you are the Universe. Embrace it like you would your mum on Mother’s Day! Forget how media portray “perfection” in the form of beauty, you are perfect externally and internally and no-one can take that away from you, if you do not allow them. Let your light shine brighter than the moon at night!

8. “Make joy and happiness the centre of your world.”

This is the foundation of the Power of Positivity ethos. What is life if joy seldom prevails? How can you live if misery, worry, and sadness are on the menu all day every day without even a whiff of happiness? Just think about this for a moment and reflect. Louise also said this: “Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!”

9. “When we forgive and let go, not only does a huge weight drop off your shoulders, but the doorway to your own self-love opens.”

Even if you are slightly vexed, you could well be thinking about it incessantly and it festers away at you. However, when you let go of any anger towards someone or something, you have a sense of freedom and it makes an intangible tangible. This leads to more happiness in your being and puts you on a path to success in life.

10. “The point of power is always in the present moment.”

Never underestimate the power of now! The past is gone and has passed. The future is unknown. Now is a gift, that is why it is called the present. Continually living in the past or future is not beneficial, so you might as well as enjoy the moment and use it for your greater purpose.
 positive-affirmations

Thank you, Louise Hay. You have given us all a beautiful gift through your life’s work. Rest in peace!

References:
Other A N., “Louise Hay’s Legacy”
Hay House http://www.hayhouse.com/louise-hay-legacy
Harish, “14 Life Tips From The Amazing Louise Hay”
Launch Your Genius http://launchyourgenius.com/2014/01/18/14-life-tips-from-the-amazing-louise-hay/ 

5 Signs of a Pinched Nerve In Your Back

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A pinched nerve in the back is painful and uncomfortable. It happens when there’s too much pressure on the nerve surrounding your tissues because it disrupts your nerve function. When the nerve function is disrupted, you might experience feelings of pain, numbness, weakness, or tingling.

The nerve pressure is often exerted by the surrounding bones or tissues. A pinched nerve not only causes you pain but can also reduce the nerve’s ability to control your muscles. It can interfere with your daily activities and your overall life satisfaction, as well.

If the pinched nerve happens to be in your spine, you will experience pain throughout your body. The nerves in your spine extend to so many areas of your body that it might seem like the pain originated somewhere else. Since the nerves in your spine are contained within a tight space, they are often the source of pinched nerves.

Four Primary Causes Of a Pinched Nerve in the Back

Pinched nerves in the back aren’t only caused by spinal nerves, though, as they can happen to any nerve in the area. Knowing the signs will help you address the problem and find a remedy to alleviate the issue.

1 – Herniated Disks

Injury or weakness in your spine can cause the discs to protrude out of the spine, called a herniated disk. When this happens, it causes intense pain as the inner layer leaks out into the spinal canal. This situation puts excess pressure on the nerves in your back.

pinched nerve in your back2 – Spinal Stenosis

When the bone channel occupied by your spinal nerves and spinal cord narrows, it is called spinal stenosis. This narrowing puts extra pressure on all of the nerves in the area.

3 – Bone Spurs

Bone spurs occur when a bone becomes enlarged. These spurs appear as sharp outgrowths of bone. Bone spurs often occur along the spine and lead to inflammation, causing cells to bring even more extra bone to the area.

4 – Sensory and Motor Nerves

You have sensory and motor nerve fibers, and when a nerve is pinched, both types of nerve fibers are affected. The intensity of the compressed nerve will determine the severity of the symptoms. Sensory and motor nerves can cause a pinched nerve in the back because they transmit signals to and from the spine.

5 Signs of a Pinched Nerve in the Back

Know the signs. Then, call your primary care provider for further guidance.

1. Dull Sensation or Numbness

If a sensory nerve in the back is pinched, its signal is negatively affected, impairing normal sensory perception. This pinched nerve presents itself as a dull or radiating numbing sensation.

 2. Impaired Motor Coordination

Motor coordination relies on sending feedback to and from the brain, and it depends on the ability to stimulate the correct muscles. When your motor nerves are pinched, your brain can’t perceive feedback accurately. It can hinder your ability to do daily activities such as typing, writing, walking, or standing.

Unfortunately, the activities mentioned can also be the culprit of your pinched nerve. If your job requires that you do the same motor activity for an extended time, it could cause pressure on a specific nerve group.

3. Muscle Weakness or Atrophy

When motor nerves are pinched, it hinders the functionality of muscle contraction. If the functionality is impaired, you will experience muscle weakness. If you don’t get it taken care of quickly, muscle atrophy (shrinkage) can occur.

4. Pain or Burning

If you experience pain or a burning sensation, it likely means that the root of a sensory nerve is pinched. While it might be a pinched nerve in the back, you can experience the sensations in your legs, thighs, lower back, or buttocks.

5. Radiating Pain or Spasms

A pinched nerve in the back can cause spasms and radiating pain in your legs or lower back. Radiating pain is described as a shooting type of pain, and it is intense. Sciatica is one condition that can cause this type of pain in your hips, outer part of the leg, or lower back.

pinched nerve9 Exercises to Relieve a Pinched Nerve in the Back

Having a pinched nerve in the back can be painful, debilitating, and just downright annoying. Luckily, you can alleviate the problem at home by doing some exercises. These exercises can help you recover, restore movement, and prevent pinched nerves in the future.

Some exercises can make the pain worse, so avoid any that put more pressure on your back. If the pain, numbness, or tingling sensations worsen during your exercise, stop right away. These exercises will help most people dealing with a pinched nerve, but you’re always advised to use caution.

1. Isometric Strengthening

Strengthening your upper back and neck can help reduce pressure on your nerves in the back. For this exercise, you only need a chair so you can do it anywhere and anytime. You’ll use your hands to push against your head in different directions.

For the best results, do one set of isometric neck exercises two times each day. It will increase your strength in all directions of motion.

2. Lumbar Rotation

This exercise is beneficial for your lower back and doesn’t require any equipment. As you rotate your lower body, your thoracic spine reorients, allowing for less pressure on your nerves. Only rotate your body as far as is comfortable, and stop if you experience any pain.

3. Back Extensions

Back extensions are beneficial for relieving sciatica and other forms of back pain. As you do this exercise, focus on your breathing while keeping your head, neck, and spine aligned. Repeat the extension between eight and ten times each session.

4. Prone Head Lifts

This exercise will help restore the natural curve of your lower back. Restoring the natural curve relieves pressure in your back, reducing and preventing pinched nerves. Do prone head lifts twice each day, repeating it five times in both instances.

5. Supine Head Lifts

Similar to the prone head lift, this exercise helps support the natural curve of your spine. Repeat the head lift eight to ten times, two times each day.

6. Neck Rotation

You can do neck rotations while sitting or standing, and they improve your mobility and strength. With improved mobility and strength, you will experience less muscular tension and improved posture. These benefits relieve pressure on the nerves, reducing and preventing pinched nerves in the back.

7. Child’s Pose

This yoga exercise can offer immediate relief to a pinched nerve in the back. It soothes the pain and eases pressure in your lower back as it stretches your spine. Child’s Pose is easy for anyone to do, and it doesn’t require any equipment.

8. Leg Elevation

If you have a pinched nerve in the back, leg elevation can alleviate your discomfort. Make sure your knees and hips both have a 90-degree bend. You can use a stool or ottoman for this exercise, or you can place some pillows under your knees instead.

9. Standing Side Bends

A standing side bend can increase the flexibility of your spine and rib cage. It also helps you maintain proper posture, alleviating unnatural pressure on your nerves. This exercise can immediately relieve discomfort, making it ideal for lower back pain and pinched nerves.

Other Ways to Treat a Pinched Nerve in The Back

Exercise isn’t the only way to relieve a pinched nerve in the back. An orthopedic surgeon, Steward Eidelson, suggests alternating heat and ice on the problematic area.

Eidelson recommends applying heat for twenty minutes and then ice for twenty minutes, repeating this cycle until you find relief. Placing a towel around the heat and ice packs will protect your skin, so make sure to do that before beginning.

Sometimes muscle tension could be putting pressure on your nerves. In that instance, you can schedule a professional massage, which decreases muscle tension and offers quick relief.

Other ways to treat a pinched nerve in the back include:

  • Lie down with a rolled-up towel under your neck
  • Use a handheld massager on the affected area
  • Take a light stroll
  • Lie down and pulling your knees toward your chest
  • Take a warm bath

Final Thoughts on Signs of a Pinched Nerve in Your Back

Having a pinched nerve in the back is uncomfortable, painful, and can interfere with your daily activities. Luckily, most people make a full recovery from this issue. Even better, you can alleviate the symptoms and prevent future pinched nerves by trying exercises and other treatment methods.

If your home remedies don’t help the pinched nerve, see a doctor as soon as you can. Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away, and it can result in further damage to your nerves and back. If the pain is too intense to do any of the suggested treatments, you should also see a doctor right away.

As you experience a pinched nerve in the back, you might become discouraged if you don’t know the source. Remember that pinched spinal nerves can cause pain throughout your body, though. Focus on exercises for relieving a pinched back nerve to help you find relief.

Do You Get Dizzy Often? 5 Signs You Have Vertigo

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“Vertigo makes it feel like the floor is pitching up and down. Things seem to be spinning. It’s like standing on the deck of a ship in really high seas.” – Laura Hillenbrand

Feeling dizzy can happen to everyone, sometimes for no apparent reason! Standing up too quickly, being dehydrated, being overtired… all of these are common causes for dizziness that aren’t a huge cause for concern. However, sometimes the dizziness is more chronic than we realize. If you find yourself often getting dizzy after standing up, or simply just moving around, there may be something more than just a glass of water can fix.

Vertigo is a type of chronic dizziness that is chronic. Short, isolated dizzy spells may not always mean that vertigo is the culprit, but when those symptoms seem to last for longer than a few minutes, it may be a sign that someone has it.

Dr. Robert Jackson defines this dizziness as, “a symptom.” He continues, “It is a sign that something is wrong and there is a cause! There is more than one cause for vertigo and symptoms like it such as dizziness and brain fog.” It’s important to know the common signs, as well as the common causes.

Here Are 5 Signs You Have Vertigo

vertigo

1. The symptoms of dizziness last more than an hour

As previously stated, isolated incidents of dizziness don’t always mean vertigo, but when that dizziness lasts for longer than an hour, it may mean that vertigo is behind it.

Medical director of a special U-M center devoted to diagnosing and treating balance disorders, Hussam El-Kashlan, M.D., mentioned, “For some people, vertigo can be very debilitating. During the acute attack, the person is totally incapacitated. They can’t do anything for themselves and they’re basically bedridden or lying on the ground until the attack passes. Often it’s accompanied by other symptoms such as nausea and vomiting.”

Keep an eye on your dizziness and check and see how long it lasts. A quick dizzy spell may not because of concern, but if the symptoms last longer than an hour, it’s time to make a doctor’s appointment.

2. The symptoms of dizziness go on for days

If you have one, isolated dizzy spell for more than hour, it might not be vertigo. If an hour long dizzy spell only occurs once, it might be due to other factors. However, if these symptoms last persistently over the course of several days, you’re probably dealing with vertigo.

3. The symptoms occur together

Symptoms of vertigo range from dizziness to nausea to headaches and even a loss of balance that can cause falls. Only getting a headache doesn’t mean that you have vertigo. However, if all of these symptoms occur together, it’s more than likely that you’re dealing with vertigo.

4. The symptoms cause fall or injury

It’s important to see a doctor if the dizziness causes any type of loss of balance that creates injury. If your headache or dizziness is so severe that you’re unable to stay upright, it’s most likely a sign that you have vertigo, and you’ll want to get it checked out as soon as possible.

5. The symptoms interfere with your daily life

If you have a little dizzy spell when you stand up too quickly, or stress headaches every now and then, it most likely doesn’t interfere with your day-to-day life. Symptoms of vertigo are severe and long-lasting and can cause issues in your daily life.

Knowing the symptoms of vertigo is an important first step to getting it treated. However, another important step is knowing what the root cause of it is. Going in with more knowledge of the common causes of vertigo can help your doctor treat you more efficiently. “Once diagnosed, the proper treatment is to put those little particles, called canaliths, back where they belong,” explains Dr. Marc I. Leavey.

Here Are Some Of The Common Causes Of Vertigo

1. Inner Ear Vertigo

One of the most common causes is an inner ear issue. The inner ear is responsible for all of your balance, and it has a system that’s filled with fluid. When you move, so does the fluid, which helps you stay balanced and stops you from feeling dizzy. When this stops functioning, your balance becomes distorted, and you can experience extreme dizziness. This is one of the most common causes of vertigo, and can be treated in a number of ways, from physical therapy to antibiotics.

2. Neurological Vertigo

This type occurs when there’s an issue with your central nervous system. A neurologist would normally address this type of problem. Things like stroke, multiple sclerosis or tumors can cause your central nervous system to mess up and vertigo to occur.  Fortunately, this is one of the rarest causes, and it only happens to about one percent of the population.

3. Circulation Vertigo

Blood getting to your brain helps keep your body balanced, so you may experience dizziness when something affects you. Drops in your blood pressure can cause your body to experience vertigo, and things like poor blood circulation can be the culprit. A doctor can help you improve the cardiovascular issue that is causing vertigo, which can not only improve your symptoms but your overall health, as well.

4. Drug-related Vertigo

This doesn’t always mean illegal drugs, either! There are all kinds of medications that, while good for you, can cause a drop in blood pressure or just make you feel lightheaded and dizzy. Things like antidepressants, sleeping medications, pain relievers and even blood pressure medication can all cause symptoms of vertigo. If you begin experiencing vertigo after starting medication, talk to your doctor and see about switching drugs. There’s usually an alternative to every medication.

5. Psychological Vertigo

Stress and anxiety can cause vertigo-like symptoms if you’re not careful with managing those feelings. While the name “psychological vertigo” may suggest that you’re making it up, that’s not entirely true. Stress and anxiety can cause real, physical effects to your body. If you’ve been undergoing a lot of stress and have had persistent symptoms, it may be time to see a psychiatrist who can help you out.

Vertigo isn’t fun, but fortunately, it is very treatable. Stoping the symptoms and analyzing what’s going on in your life will help you make the right call in getting a diagnosis and treatment for your vertigo. Life doesn’t always have to be dizzy! There are steps you can take to start seeing straight again.

References:
http://www.doctorjackson.org/health/vertigo.cfm
https://newswise.com/articles/expert-offers-help-for-vertigo-sufferers
http://scarysymptoms.com/2015/08/what-kind-of-doctor-treats-vertigo/

25 Things That Matter To Her (Even If You Don’t Think They Do)

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“It’s the little things in life that matter the most!”

There are a few things that women care about that men sometimes don’t understand or miss altogether. These may be things men do that they don’t realize mean the world, or things that men don’t do and don’t realize that they should have. So, even if you don’t think these things matter, it’s more likely than not that a woman is paying attention to what you do (or don’t do!).

Here Are 25 Things That Matter To Her, Even If You Think Otherwise

that matter

1. Paying her compliments

This could be a compliment on a new haircut, her nail color, or her clothing. “Compliments work best when they are forthright and not incidental… they must be genuine. The more specific they are, the better,” explains Psychology Today. Women keep track of all those little compliments and often think about them when they’re having a bad day.

2. When you tell her something reminds you of her

This could be a book or a song. Women will remember when something you’ve seen or heard reminds you of them.

3. When you bring home her favorite food

No matter what kind of food it is, women are always pleased that men remember their favorite meals and then go out of their way to bring some home.

4. Sending her wake up texts

A good morning text first thing in the morning means the world to her, because she knows that she’s the first thing on your mind when you wake up. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it’ll have her smiling all day.

5. Sharing household chores

Pop-culture and sitcom television often shows men not doing their share of the household chores. When that’s all she’s been surrounded by, it’s a nice change of pace to know that men actually do take responsibility and help out around the house. Psychotherapist and life coach, Neeta V Shetty adds, “Doing household chores is a way of showing that you care for your partner. It is also an activity, which can help you spend time with each other in this fast-paced life.”

6. When you take a genuine interest in her life

Marriage coach Lesli Doares explains, “Taking at least twenty minutes per day to deeply focus on your partner (and their day) makes them feel so important and like you really do still care.” It’s important to a woman that her partner be interested in who she is as a person. When a woman finds a man who is willing to listen to her talk and take an interest in her life, it means a lot.

relationship

7. Letting her control the radio on long car rides

It’s such a silly, simple thing, but women will always remember when men let them take control of the radio, especially if your music tastes differ.

8. When you don’t hide things from her

Women take note of all the things men hide about themselves, whether large or small. So, when a man opens up and let’s a woman into his life, she’s going to remember every little thing he shares and cherishes his honesty and trust.

9. Making compromises when you can

Relationship expert April Masini explains, “Lots of happy couples have differences in relationships — the trick is to learn which ones are more important to you than the relationship.” Women always remember when men make compromises and don’t stay headstrong in discussions or arguments. Even when you don’t want to compromise, women always appreciate it when you do so.

10. When you have keepsakes

Maybe you save all your ticket stubs from movies or keep all of her lost hair from bobby pins. Women always notice when a man keeps something that reminds him of her, and it makes her feel so good.

11. When you consult her before life-changing decisions

Whether this decision is quitting your job or starting a new career, women always notice and appreciate when men consult them first.

12. When you post pictures on social media

Even if you aren’t really into using Facebook or Instagram, it really means a lot to women when you post pictures of the two of you together. It shows her that she’s worth showing off.

13. When you make sure to please her in bed

Sex expert Coleen Singer says, “First and foremost, it means that you are giving her the kind of sexual pleasure she desires. It also indicates that she appreciates you taking the time and focus to do the things that you know drive her wild in bed.” Some men don’t know how to make a woman feel good in bed, so it’s important to her when you make sure that she feels good, too.

14. When you hold her hand

A lot of men don’t like public displays of affection, so it matters to a woman when you hold her hand in public, or just while you’re walking down the street.

15. When you engage in a conversation she’s interested in

Women always note when a man stays engaged in a topic that they don’t know much about. When you show interest in the things she likes, it matters to her a whole lot.

16. When you’re there for her during times she feels vulnerable

You may not know the right things to say to make it all better, but it matters to her that you’re there for her anyway.

17. When you brag about her to your friends

Women love to know that you’re proud of them. Bragging to all your friends that you’ve got the best girl around will be sure to make her pleased.

18. When you apologize to her with sincerity

A lot of men refuse to apologize even when they mess up. Women will always take note when you apologize and appreciate your humility.

19. Opening up to her about your feelings

When you open up about your day and your feelings, it can make a woman feel like you’re really connecting with her. She’ll appreciate that you trust her enough to be vulnerable.

20. Cooking breakfast for her

Even if you’re not very good at it, it means a lot that you’ll give it a shot and cook breakfast for her so she doesn’t have to.

21. Letting her borrow your clothes

You know that you’re not ever going to get that T-Shirt back. You know it, she knows it, and you let her borrow it anyway.

22. When you sing to her and make yourself look silly

Even if you have the worst singing voice imaginable, women love when men act silly with them and will appreciate even the worst-sung love song.

that matter

23. When you give her surprise hugs

If you can’t stand being connected with her, you can show this by giving her a much-needed surprise hug. She’ll notice and appreciate the affection.

24. When you treat her pets like your own

Even if she owns a snobby cat or a yappy dog, women appreciate that you treat her pets with the same love and care you would treat your own.

25. Telling her I love you as often as you can

This one goes without explanation.

10 Signs You Have Difficulty Connecting With People (And How To Fix It)

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Do you find connecting with others challenging? The good news–you are not alone!

“Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. (One who) does not partake in society is either a beast or a god.” ~ Aristotle

“Huh?!”

Oh, yes he did. Aristotle, for all of his philosophical brilliance, was prone – as most of us are – to saying strange things. We’ll throw the ole’ sage a bit of a lifeline: he was born before the findings of some pretty important stuff. Like medicine and psychology.

He was right, however, about one thing: human beings are social creatures.

As of this writing, no unsocial person has been busted for being a god or a beast.

“What does ‘social animal’ mean?”

Adam Waytz, a psychologist and professor at the Kellogg Graduate School of Management at Northwestern University, explains the “humans are social animals” concept:
“…the concept of humans as “social by nature” has lent credibility to numerous significant ideas: that humans need other humans to survive, that humans tend to be perpetually ready for social interaction, and that studying specifically the social features of human functioning is profoundly important.”

Basically, Waytz is saying that we’re co-dependent animals – a trait of our species attributable to millions of years of evolution. Further, despite individual preferences, we expect to interact with other people in daily life.

Why some of us aren’t social and have trouble connecting

Unfortunately, society makes some people feel like a square peg in a round hole. That very reserved person you probably know still feels this way occasionally. Many of you reading these words may feel the same.

That said, we do need to socialize on occasion. It’s, for some, an uncomfortable fact of life.

So, do not fear my fellow wallflower! We’re going to talk about ten reasons why you’re inclined to avoid people like the plague. We’re even going to go a step further and provide some tips that may make the social stuff a bit easier.

Here are 10 reasons why you may have a hard time connecting with people:

connecting

1. You’re depressed/anxious, causing issues in connecting

If you fall into this category, do not fret. You’re certainly not alone. Depression and anxiety affect more than 40 million Americans – and millions more worldwide.

Depression can feel like a dark cloud above your head. Anxiety, which often accompanies depression, creates a sense of chronic tension and uneasiness.

Tip: Depression and anxiety are treatable conditions; though full recovery may take some time. The best advice is to research your symptoms and find what treatment method(s) work for you.

2. You’re dealing with personal issues

We’ve all heard the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Many people are all-too-willing to ignore this advice, however.

The truth is that people may be ignorant about your social tendencies. You may be dealing with something heavy on your heart, which does not make socializing an easy task.

Tip: If your problems are creating a deep sense of discomfort in social settings, your available options will depend on the circumstance. Many companies offer a program called EAP (in the U.S.) that aims to help employees having a hard time.

3. You feel awkward

There is no shame in admitting to yourself that you’re uncomfortable with socializing. Unsociable behavior stemming from awkwardness can be overcome with some practice.

Tip: Try some visualization or meditation. Learning basic mindfulness techniques can help overcome many innate stressors you may feel. You have more control over your body than you think!

4. Socializing drains your energy

If socializing always seems to zap your energy reserves, it’s probably because of your more introverted nature. Depression is also a distinct possibility.

To be clear, there is no correlation between introversion and depression. The former is a personality type; the latter is a serious mental health issue (see #1).

Tip: You must listen to your body and what it needs; and if it needs solitude, it needs solitude. If you feel that something may be “off,” consider scheduling an appointment with your doc.

5. Your social skills are lacking

Social skills are a learned behavior. For whatever reason, you may feel unequipped to navigate the social area of life – and this is no fault of your own. With some practice, you can improve your social aptitude.

Tip: Read up. Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People” is not one of the best-selling books of all time for no reason. There are also plenty of free resources on the interwebs.

6. You have a fear of rejection

According to Psychology Today, “The fear of rejection is one of our deepest human fears. Biologically wired with a longing to belong, we fear being seen in a critical way.”

Though we may all be different personality-wise, we’re all wired to have some degree of human contact. Fear of rejection often stems from abandonment, which is a complex issue.

Tip: Given the seriousness of the topic at hand, it’s probably in your best interest to consult with a therapist. Mindfulness meditation has shown to be of benefit for a multitude of complex conditions as well.

7. You’re in a new environment

Nothing to be ashamed of here! We’re all uncomfortable in a new environment – some more than others. If you have difficulties in this area, do not fear.

Tip: Take the time to say “Hello.” Keep the conversation simple if this approach is more comfortable. Most people have good hearts – if you’re friendly, the odds are that they’ll reciprocate.

8. You hesitate about connecting because you are introverted or shy

The introverted mind is literally wired differently. Here’s a quick illustration: functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) shows that an introvert’s brain prefers the acetylcholine pathway, while our extrovert friends’ prefer the dopamine pathway.

In short, extroverts need external stimulation for energy. Introverts turn inwards for their energy shot.

Tip: While it’s not a perfect science, psychological tools like the Myers Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) can provide some valuable insight into your distinct personality. From there, it’s up to you to find a resource that works on your social skills, if you so desire.

9. You aren’t good at small talk

Ah, yes … sweet silence. Well, it would be sweet if someone wasn’t expecting you to respond to… Why are they asking me about my pets? Do I even know them?

Fix: Memorize a couple of questions, seriously. Small talk will always be the bane of some people’s existence.

connecting

10. You don’t like connecting

Right? One day (hopefully) it will be completely acceptable to deny an invitation to chat with a simple “I don’t feel like talking.” That is, without experiencing a pang of guilt; or having the entire room whip their heads around to eyeball you.

Tip: Get out of your comfort zone a bit. Sometimes (sometimes!) us shy folks are a bit too eager to retreat from people. On occasion, it’s a good idea to get out there and try some “meet and greet.”

If all else fails, there’s probably some coffee shop or bookstore nearby. Just sayin’.

Sources:
http://www.stuartduncan.name/autism/humans-are-social-beings-so-if-youre-not-social-what-are-you/
https://www.edge.org/memberbio/adam_waytz
https://www.edge.org/response-detail/25395
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intimacy-path-toward-spirituality/201404/deconstructing-the-fear-rejection

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