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7 Reasons Attractive People Can’t Find A Partner

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Physical beauty is often coveted in our culture. People think that if you’re attractive, you’ll naturally end up in a happy long-term relationship. Surprisingly, this isn’t true. Attractive people aren’t always lucky when it comes to their love life.

A research study at Harvard University found that, in general, physically attractive people don’t stay in a relationship as long as other people. In another part of the same study, researchers found that the most physically attractive people were more desirable. Still, they often had short-term marriages that ended in divorce.

The blessings and curses of being physically attractive don’t stop at troubled relationships. Studies reveal that beauty affects your ability to get a job, whether you’ll be convicted of a crime and whether you get good health care.

While it may seem that more physically attractive people have an easier time finding a partner, this may not always be true. Physical attraction plays a role in selecting a partner. People are first drawn by what they see. Attractive people have an easier time drawing new people and potential partners in. There’s no denying this.

However, the attraction is more than just about the outside. Attractive people can have just as many struggles finding someone to connect with as someone with average looks. There are many reasons that someone beautiful and fit may have the same dating woes as everyone else.

Here Are 7 Surprising Disadvantages Of Being Drop-Dead Gorgeous

attractive peopleSo, it would seem that being attractive isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, especially when it comes to long-term relationships. Here are seven reasons why an attractive person may not be able to find a long-term partner.

“Attractiveness can convey more power over visible space, but that in turn can make others feel they can’t approach that person…” – Dr. Tonya Frevert

1. Because there are too many options

While this may not seem like much of a problem, having too many options when it comes to dating can be just as difficult as having no options at all. Social psychologist Christine Ma-Kellams explains, “I think attractiveness gives you more options in terms of relationship alternatives which might make it harder to protect a relationship from outside threats. In this sense, having too many other choices is likely not beneficial for relationship longevity.”

Having an overwhelming number of choices regarding dating can make it hard to connect with one person. After all, dating can lead to connecting and falling in love with someone for the rest of your life. The idea of having to choose one of many can be daunting.

2. Potential partners are wary of you

Attractive people may intimidate potential partners from making a move because they’re vibrantly aware that they have various people to choose from. This can stop the good-hearted and genuine people from trying to make their move and get to know a person better. Being part of a competition for someone’s affection can be disheartening, and people may not want to risk being turned down.

Attractive women sometimes find it hard to feel at ease in social settings. They may experience a lot of unwanted attention, so they are more guarded. This makes them come across as cold or stoic. Or they may not be comfortable initiating conversations because they’re used to others initiating towards them. Surprisingly, attractive people can lack self-confidence. Because they have experienced being used in the past, they keep people at a distance to protect themselves.

3. They’re judged by their looks

After all, this is the first thing many people see when they meet another person. Attractive people can be judged on their looks just as easily as people who aren’t as attractive. Whether this comes with the “Ditzy Blonde” stereotype or the “Meathead Jock” stereotype, attractive people are often judged based on their looks. This snap judgment makes it hard to connect with someone after they’ve already decided your personality based on how you look.

Attractive people are no different from anybody else. They have good and bad days, chores at home, and bills to pay. But beautiful people are often held to a higher standard than other people. There can be an expectation that they are hard to get to know. These perceptions aren’t usually based on knowing the attractive person, but based on their good looks. Because of such judgments, potential partners often distance themselves from an attractive person.

Social psychologist Lisa Slattery Walker explains, “We have a whole set of cultural ideals about beauty that let us say if someone is attractive – and through those same ideals, we begin to associate it with competence.”

4. People want to use them for their bodies

One psychological study found that many attractive people see their beauty as a detriment. But why?

Attractive people often face the unique challenge of people using them for their looks and their bodies. They may be faced with people who try to get close to them and feign interest in them long enough to get intimate, and then being dropped emotionally. This may put people on edge and make them closed off from connecting to other people because they’re used to being used.

Attractive people are often unsure of a partner’s real intentions. This makes them prone to being guarded in dating. They aren’t sure if they can trust the person because they’ve been used in the past.  You often read stories about beautiful celebrities finding long-lasting love with a very normal non-celebrity type person because this person loves them for who they really are, not just their beauty.

5. Attractive people feel socially awkward

Attractive women sometimes find it hard to feel at ease in social settings. They may experience a lot of unwanted attention, so they are more guarded. This makes them come across as cold or stoic. Or they may not be comfortable initiating conversations because they’re used to others initiating towards them. Surprisingly, attractive people can lack self-confidence. Because they have experienced being used in the past, they keep people at a distance to protect themselves.

In part, this awkwardness may stem from the whispers they hear behind their backs.  Good-looking people often have a stigma attached to them that assumes that they’re loose. Attractive people are often seen as sexual creatures and nothing else.

Their self-esteem is stripped from them, and people often refuse to see them as wholly realized people with interests and opinions. It can be extremely draining and put them off of dating.

6. It’s harder to figure out people’s true intentions

Isabell Giardini, a 22-year-old Italian beauty who signed with Major Models, mentioned, “When men see beautiful women, they are more concentrated on how she looks because they want to ‘have’ her, and so they don’t want to go deeper and get to know her…”

Hence, attractive people will be faced with the problem of trying to figure out what people really want from them. They’re often stuck with trying to figure out if someone is interested in them for their personality or looks, which can make connecting with people difficult.

7. Their looks can cause drama

This can range from people talking behind their back based on stereotypes associated with their looks or even the source of jealousy. Dealing with drama can be difficult for any person, and attractive people are no different. The drama can make dating difficult because the word of drama often spreads quicker than it can be contained. Everyone loves drama, except when it comes to drama based on your looks.

That kind of drama can also relate to jealousy–a problem that can destroy a relationship, according to psychologists.

Your potential partner may assume you will flirt with everyone around you because you are attractive. They assume you may cheat. This can be hurtful because it’s making an assumption about your character based upon your appearance. This type of mistrust eats away at a relationship.

Beauty Is As Beauty Does

pop memeIn classic literature, the story’s heroine is always beautiful on the inside and the outside. These old classics taught its readers the importance of good character. Attractive people shouldn’t be overly concerned about their looks to the neglect of their character. If your identity is so tied up in your looks, you may find yourself falling short in humility. This can seep into your relationship without you realizing it.

We all have blind spots, and it’s helpful when someone points them out, even though it’s hard to hear. Find a good, trusted friend and ask them to point out any character areas where you need to grow. Listen to their hard truth and then find ways to grow in good qualities such as these:

  • Humility
  • Kindness
  • Thankfulness
  • Gratitude
  • Serving others

These qualities are the most attractive and much deeper than any physical beauty could be. Read books about character development. Attend church or your place of faith where they teach the importance of character. You may have missed out on these teachings growing up, especially if your parents were overly concerned about your looks. You can change and learn how to be the best person you can be, so your relationship lasts forever.

What keeps a long term relationship going?

Even once they find love, attractive people seem to struggle with long-term relationships. But what keeps a relationship going? Here are some psychologist-confirmed tips on how to maintain a healthy long-term relationship.

1 – Shifting goals

At the beginning of your relationship, you and your partner kept everything divided equally. But over time, you may grow selfish and less apt to be as flexible in what you value. If you see yourself shifting towards selfishness, resist it, and work towards being ready to give rather than receive.

2 – Good communication

Seek to be honest and share your feelings with your partner. Good communication is essential for a healthy long-term relationship. Once you start to harbor your feelings, you may get bitter or build walls against your partner. Talk about what you feel calm before it becomes a full-blown angry outburst.

3 – There’s no winner or loser

Don’t let competition seep into your relationship. When competition is part of your relationship, it takes away the genuine love and cares you have, so you feel like you’re in a football game. If you always compete to “win”, you may lose big time in your relationship.

4 – Understand how your partner thinks and feels

Your partner might like to cuddle, but you’d rather sit and talk. Maybe sweet cards and gifts make your partner feel loved or going for a long walk every night after dinner. Love looks different to everyone. Don’t assume your partner is like you… they probably aren’t. Learn what love looks like to them and then demonstrate love to them.

5 – Give your partner some space

We all need a break once in a while. You don’t need to be with your partner, 24/7. It can actually be healthy to have time apart from one another. It allows you opportunities to invest in your other friendships and hobbies. You’ll have things to discuss when you get back together. Plus, you’ll learn to see another side of your partner as you learn about their interests in life.

6 – Don’t forget to laugh

One of the best medicines for a romantic relationship is the ability to laugh. Sometimes life is so crazy that all you can do is laugh about it. And a good sense of humor can help you work out your differences.  Laughing at your mistakes or your partner’s funny habits diffuses difficult situations. Joy, in a relationship is lovely. So laugh a lot.

7 – Compromise

Relationships require some give and take from both partners. You must learn to be flexible and compromise. Sometimes you do the dishes after dinner because your partner is tired. Or they take your dog outside every morning, even though you said you would do it. Of course, you should discuss areas where you won’t compromise: communication, faithfulness, and trust. The reality is that there will always be big and little compromises in your relationship.

attractive peopleFinal Thoughts on Attractive People Being Unable to Find a Partner

It’s easy to assume that attractive people have no trouble getting into good healthy, long-lasting relationships. Sometimes people are even jealous of them because they think their life has always been easy. There is some truth to this, but not always. Many attractive people are socially awkward and feel they can’t trust people for fear of being used. They face unique challenges, not because of anything they have done but because of how they look.

We commonly face challenges, but we hardly ever think of beauty as a challenge. If you’re attractive, seek to grow in areas of character rather than focusing on your beauty. Your identity is more than your looks, so find ways to invest in life. Relationships are hard work. Follow the tips listed here so your relationship can grow into all it’s supposed to be.

4 Behaviors That Create A Relationship Disorder

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An unhealthy relationship shows signs and symptoms of a relationship disorder, like an unhealthy body. At times, it relates to the behavior of one or both partners.

The causes of relationship disorders can vary from childhood problems to learned patterns of behavior from adulthood. Childhood patterns of relationship problems are difficult to unlearn, but awareness, acceptance, and therapy can help.

Here are some common behaviors that create relationship disorders:

avoidance

1. Fear of dealing with problems

Avoiding difficult conversations is a pattern that can lead to resentment in a relationship. When one partner cannot openly express feelings to another, the relationship’s problems cannot be brought to light and resolved. The pattern of avoidance becomes a symptom of a relationship disorder.

2. Distorted thinking

If everything your partner says seems to be hurtful, this tendency to self-harm through your interpretation of others’ words may be a destructive symptom of a relationship disorder. A counselor tells a story of a frustrated husband who was thinking of leaving his wife because he thought she was uncaring. The skillful therapist had the man change his perspective to describe the same uncaring actions of his wife and to reframe them so that she intended to show caring toward him.

3. Love addiction

Another harmful pattern of behavior in relationship disorders is love addiction. Your relationship revolves around your partner’s actions, behavior, thoughts, and words. You wait for your partner to tell you what they want to do and watch your partner’s face for signs of emotion indicating how they feel about you. Such intense focus on the other in a relationship is a giving, loving attitude, but because it ignores the wants of one person in favor of the other, this is a symptom of an underlying relationship disorder.

A partnership requires both people to devote time and energy to developing a strong bond that keeps you connected. Each person should have their own distinct lives, which they enjoy separately, but also enjoy more in the company of their partner. In other words, without your partner, what would you be doing? Do it anyway and invite your partner to participate.

4. Seeking perfection

Perfect almost certainly does not exist; many of us are still seeking the perfect partner. No one can be perfect by meeting all of your expectations all the time, so you cannot assume that someone will. Continuing to focus on making things perfect or finding the perfect partner will be an unhealthy pattern that leads to continuously being disappointed in others. Acceptance of human flaws in ourselves and in others is important to establishing close relationships.

Related Article: 5 Behaviors That Make People Give Up On Love (And How to Heal)

relationship

Physical signs and symptoms of relationship disorders

Communication problems and related disorders can cause physical symptoms in our bodies related to the stress we feel.

Symptoms of stress-related relationship disorders include:

– Nausea
– Shakiness
– Sweating
– Blushing
– Feeling hot or flushed
– Worry
– Upset stomach
– Racing thoughts
– Bowel distress
– Changes in appetite

Researchers studying the neurotransmitter oxytocin and the role it plays in forming social bonds find that the loss of affectionate bonds between romantic partners “may contribute to emotional disequilibrium and confer elevated risk for the onset of stress-related disorders.”

When relationship problems are present and our bodies feel distress, we may seek to self-medicate if there is no improvement in the relationship. Researchers studying alcohol problems and relationship health find that “relationship problems and drinking often co-occur, with robust positive associations between heavy drinking and marital discord.”

Negative interpersonal events like those in an unhealthy relationship can predict drinking and alcohol-related problems. The researchers found that jealousy in a relationship led to low measures of relationship self-esteem, which was also related to alcohol drinking patterns. In contrast, the research shows that “relationship satisfaction, commitment, and closeness” were all found to moderate the association between jealousy and alcohol-related disorders in a relationship.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/c241/c82f055a49e487673fd6048041659526c2bb.pdf
Oxytocin and stress-related social disorders http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0006322315004369

3 Signs A Child Is Having Night Terrors

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While nightmares often happen to young children and adults, they’re not something that causes concern in most parents. On the other hand, night terrors are something else entirely.

Night terrors are a sleep disorder, and often occur in young children between 3 years old and 12 years old. They’re much more intense than a run-of-the-mill nightmare and happen during the transition between stage 3 and stage 4 of non-REM sleep, which consists of 4 different stages in total.

Nightmares often occur during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep cycles, otherwise known as deep sleep. While nightmares may be upsetting to a child, night terrors are often categorized as intense fear during sleep, with crying and difficulty in waking up the child experiencing the night terror.

While only a small percentage of children experience night terrors, it’s important to know the signs. Boys and girls are both affected equally by night terrors, so there’s no gender bias to look out for, neither is there a race bias, as it seems children of all races can be affected by this particular sleep disorder.

Sleep and stress expert Dr. Dr Nerina Ramlakhan explains, “There is evidence that night terrors can result from being overtired, so creating a bedtime schedule is important. You should also make an extra effort to ensure the child is truly relaxed, and never overstimulated, before they go to bed. The safer and calmer the child feels, the better.”

Fortunately, there are signs to look out for that show that a child may be having night terrors so that the sleep disorder can be accurately treated.

Here Are 3 Signs A Child Is Suffering From Night Terrors

“As night terrors occur during sleep, children have no memory of them upon waking. While the episode may be highly stressful for the parents to witness, it is not at all harmful to the child.” – Sarah Ockwell-Smith

1. Episodes begin about 90 minutes after the child falls asleep

This is because the four stages of non-REM sleep take up the first 90 minutes of sleep before the REM sleep occurs. A child will begin to start crying uncontrollably, or sit up and begin screaming without any way to calm them. If this occurs about 90 minutes after the child first falls asleep, there’s a good chance that this is a night terror episode.

Nightmares happen during REM sleep, but night-terrors happen during non-REM sleep, which often allows the child to move about and seem awake without being aware of what’s happening around them.

2. The child cannot recall the dream during the night terror episode

When a child has a nightmare, they’re often able to recall bits and pieces of the dream that occurs during their REM sleep cycle. However, during a non-REM cycle night terror, children are often unable to recall the dream. They won’t even remember the episode at all.

They won’t be able to remember waking up and screaming or any attempts from parents to get the child to rouse from the night terror. The next morning, it will be as if the night terror never occurred, despite the lasting effects.

3. The child experiences physical symptoms

During a nightmare, a child might simply continue sleeping through the whole thing, even if it becomes upsetting upon waking and remembering it. However, night terrors often come with physical symptoms: tachycardia (increased heart rate), tachypnea (increased breathing rate), and sweating.

Checking a child’s heart rate and breathing rate can often help deduce whether or not the child is having a night terror. Sweating, along with physical thrashing and verbal screaming, may also occur during episodes.

Night terrors can be both emotionally and psychologically draining on both the child and the parents. However, only half of children who experience this particular sleep disorder warrant intervention by a physician. If the children are younger than three years old, it may be prudent to see a doctor if the frequency of the night terrors happens at least once per week.

In older children, physician intervention may be warranted if the frequency of the episodes gets closer to one to two-night terrors in a month.

Parents can do plenty of things to help ease a child who experience night terrors. Parents may try taking precautions such as making the child’s room feel safer both emotionally and physically, so that the child doesn’t accidentally injure themselves during a night terror.

The parents may also want to eliminate everything in the room that can cause sleep disturbances and trigger a night terror, like a television. And, of course, make sure the child’s sleep schedule stays constant from bedtime to wake-up time to eliminate any sleep deprivation.

References:
https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/06/20/what-are-night-terrors-and-how-can-you-help-them/
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/night-terrors-why-they-happen-and-what-you-can-do_uk_57aba795e4b03759dfeff932

Relationship Experts Reveal 8 Things To Never Post On Social Media

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Social media is the wave of the future. It’s how we connect with others, from friends to family to coworkers. Social media has also changed how most people see and handle relationships. Posting everything about yourself on social media can be tempting, especially to validate a quick ‘like’ reaction.

While social media is an excellent way to interact with people when you can’t see them every day, it can also be something that can cause issues within your relationship if you’re not careful. Some things should never be shared on your social media regarding your relationship.

Here Are 8 Things About Your Relationship Never to Post On Social Media

“Everybody wants to be a celebrity, which is why we have this phenomenon of social media, where nobody wants to be private. We all want to be seen.” –  Marc Jacobs

1. Keep your sexual relationship private, not on social media

Not many people want to hear what’s going on between you and your significant other, and if they do, you probably DON’T want them to be interested in the first place. While it may be tempting to talk about what a great job your partner does in bed, keep it to close friend talk or text messages with your besties. Avoid talking out in the open about what goes on behind closed doors.

damaged relationship

2. Don’t post personal information about your partner

According to clinical sexologist and relationship expert Dawn Michael, Ph.D., “You can post things that are personal about you if you want, but don’t post things about your significant other because it becomes an invasion of their privacy.” There are some things that people want to keep private about themselves, like their nightly routines or whether or not they sleep with a stuffed animal. Even if it’s something that you find entirely endearing, your partner might not like having their details shared all over social media. After all, their co-workers may see it, making it awkward Monday morning at the office. Unless your partner has OK’d it, try to keep personal details to a minimum.

3. Refrain from telling the world about your arguments

Don’t ever post your lover’s quarrels publicly! Not only does it invite people who aren’t involved in the argument, but it can be uncomfortable for both of you. Michael continued, “Never put your significant other down on social media, or talk about a fight that the two of you had or are having. When that argument is over, you may seriously regret saying anything because now people will have a negative impression of your partner.”

Keeping arguments between yourselves and learning to work them out is far better than airing your dirty laundry in public. After all, your friends and family will take your side, and you could paint an unfair picture of your partner. Once the fight ends, you’ll be much happier that it will stay between you.

4. Unapproved pictures of your significant other without permission

When you sneak a picture of your partner sleeping in a funny position, it may be cute and endearing to you – but keep it to yourself until your partner has had a chance to approve whether or not you post it. Your partner may not enjoy a picture of themselves drooling onto your pillow going viral. Besides, when you get permission, you’ll know you’re both having fun and enjoying the recognition the picture gets.

5. Don’t post mean jokes about your partner

Marriage and family therapist Aaron Anderson states, “When you bring funny things your spouse did up in the right circles, there’s no harm done. But when you post their screw-ups on social media, there’s no context behind it and there’s no filter for what crowd they get shared with. Regardless of how cute you thought it was, your spouse may not want your mother or your college ex to know about it.”

You can’t translate either tone or intent over text. While you can make mean-spirited jokes to your partner in person, and they’ll be able to tell you’re just teasing them, it’s not the same over social media. The minute you put a mean joke about your partner on social media, you’re no longer able to control the tone and intent of the joke. Other people are going to see that joke and not understand the context. If you’ll tease your partner, keep it to text messages!

6. Don’t post passive-aggressive complaints about your partner

Not only will stumbling across a vague post about your partner make them feel bad, but it’ll also dent your communication ability. If you have a problem with your partner, tell them! The both of you will work it out much faster than if they have to figure out that you’re upset by a Facebook or Twitter post. Also, it’ll keep other people out of your drama.

7. Refrain from posts that are seeking validation

Everyone loves getting notifications whenever they post something on social media. It can be addictive! But try to avoid posting things that seek validation about your partner – from whether or not you two are compatible to pictures of you two kissing. If you’re happy together, that’s all that matters! No one else’s approval matters but your own. Once you learn to ditch the validation, you’ll be much happier.

8. Stop posting disparaging posts about your partner’s ex or prior relationship

Even if your partner’s last relationship was a disaster, keeping the trash talk to yourself is better. When you post about your partner’s ex, it only makes you look insecure in your relationship.

According to relationship expert Neely Steinberg, “It may be tempting to comment on your partner’s ex — especially if he or she is meddling in your relationship — but airing your grievances on social media is passive aggressive. Keep these matters between the two of you; your 1000 friends don’t need to know.” If your partner has chosen you over other people they’ve dated, they’ve done so for a reason! Enjoy being the chosen one and leave past relationships in the past.

relationship

Final Thoughts on Keeping Relationship Details off of Social Media

Social media can be fun and a great way to connect. It can also feel nice to show off your relationship a little – but in the right ways! Avoid this faux pas when posting about your relationship on social media. Not everything has to go up on Facebook or Twitter; the more you keep between you and your partner, the stronger your relationship will be. After all, you don’t need everyone else’s noses in your business!

Researchers Reveal What Drinking Black Coffee Says About Your Personality

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Coffee is one of America’s favorite drinks. Some take it with one lump or two of sugar, while others load it with so much cream that a glass of milk might be a better option. Then there are the folks who drink their java straight-up black.

It takes solid tastebuds and an excellent stomach to drink a bitter, warm drink with no additions to balance the flavor. Did you know that how you drink your cup of Joe might link directly to your personality? While it may sound bizarre, scientific studies back up this idea.

What Does Drinking Black Coffee Says About Your Personality?

The University of Innsbruck in Austria conducted a study to see how coffee connects to personalities. Nine hundred fifty-three people did two different experiments for the research. Each person filled out a questionnaire that identified their food preferences.

Next, the head researchers, Christina Sagioglou and Tobias Greitemeyer, asked the folks about personality factors. The queries were to show if the person had traits of things like narcissism and psychopathic tendencies. Folks who preferred the taste of bitter foods, such as the tang found in beer, black coffee, and radishes, were more susceptible to mental health issues along the malevolent line.

While people who loaded their drink with sugar and creamer were calmer and gentler and not predisposed to such things, remember that this is just one study, and further studies are needed to prove such things. Some experts believe this study was flawed, and indeed, everyone who takes their coffee strong and black doesn’t automatically indicate that they have a mental health disorder.

best friend

Flaws in the Black Coffee Study

Some studies are argumentative as they offer bizarre findings, and this one can fit into that category. For it to be proven that those folks who drink black coffee are more prone to psychotic tendencies, there would need to be further testing, brain scans, and more in-depth research beyond a questionnaire.

Anytime you have self-reported data, it should be considered cautiously. It’s easy for a person to label their personalities based on how they feel in the moment. If they’ve recently had a bad experience, they might rank themselves lower than they usually would on such a report.

Another thing to consider with studies like this is that taste is subjective, and what some might think is bitter; others might describe it differently. So, looking at a list of foods and objectively categorizing them based on taste would be different for each person, which leaves room for error in the findings.

Someone who is a psychopath presents with some of the following signs:

  • Dishonest
  • Manipulative
  • Obsessive
  • Uses guilt to harm others emotionally
  • Believing that they’re perfect and on a higher level than other folks
  • Using manipulative tactics to get what they want
  • Impulsive
  • Irresponsible
  • Prone to thrill-seeking

While it was an interesting study and one that certainly makes you pause, the research isn’t sufficient to base such an opinion. This is especially true when attempting to label someone with such a severe personality. Don’t fret the next time you’re out with friends or on a date; they order black coffee, as it’s a fascinating conversation.

Drink Preferences and Your Personality

Thankfully, more than just one round of research is present on the matter. Another team, was led by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist from Santa Monica. Personality and all types of coffee drinks. He recorded the study in his bestselling book You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life.

Her research was a bit different than that conducted at the University of Innsbruck. Each of the 1,000 participants was given everyday situations and asked how they would respond. They were simple things like how you feel when standing in a long line and food preferences. The results from this study were a little more in line with what one would expect.

1. Black Coffee

The folks in the study who drank their coffee black were more old-school. They didn’t like all the thrills and frills and were more simplistic. These folks want to keep things simple, and they tend to be patient and very efficient.

She did find that they had some dark sides, as everyone does. They tend to be moody at times, are headstrong and set in their ways, and can be abrupt and dismissive. Additionally, these people are resistant to change and fight it. Indeed, nothing about this study showed any psychopathic tendencies but rather someone more old-fashioned.

2. Milk, Cream, and Sugar Coffee

Those who preferred their coffee in more latte form were different. Consumers of lattes tend to be people-pleasers and comfort seekers. These folks are an open book, but they tend to camouflage bitter things in life, much like their coffee.

These individuals are known for going out of their way to help others, as their generosity is one thing that shined through. One problem she noticed with their personalities was that they often don’t make time for self-care and can quickly become overextended.

black coffee

3. Frozen and Blended Coffee

If you’re one of the folks who take your coffee on ice, you’re in another league. The black coffee drinker wouldn’t even call you a real coffee drinker, as this is more of a shake with a kick. The study found that these folks are bold trendsetters and don’t have a problem trying new things.

Dr. Durvasula found that these folks are more childlike and tend to be spontaneous and imaginative. On the darker side of their personality, they can be reckless and don’t always make the best choices.

4. Very Specifically Ordered Coffee

If you’re a non-fat, sugar-free mocha latte, hold the whip; you would fall into this category. Anyone with a specialty coffee that takes the barista a minute to comprehend your complex blend is a specialty coffee drinker. Their coffee choice shows that they like to be in control.

This person is very conscious about their bodies and what goes into them. They can also be a little bit of a perfectionist and obsessive. While making healthy choices about their body, they tend to stick to the rules. They want everything done according to their master plan and have little wiggle room for error. Sadly, they tend to be worrisome and fret when things don’t go their way.

5. Instant Coffee

The last section reported was on those who drink instant coffee. These folks are more laid back, look for the easy way out, and don’t tend to procrastinate a bit. They try not to get so lost in the details of things, as they prefer to take life as it comes.

Their negative aspects were that they were too laid back sometimes, putting off essential things, like their health issues. These folks aren’t much for planning, as they prefer to go through life as a free spirit and winging it.

Making Sense of the Research on the Link Between Personality and Drinking Black Coffee

The second study was slightly more of what you would expect when examining coffee drinkers and food preferences. People who like black coffee are generally more no-nonsense, which is far from psychopathic. Dr. Durvasula surmised from the study that the type of coffee you drink no more has a bearing on your personality than your astrological sign.

You can be a controlling person and drink lattes, or you may drink black coffee and be a detail-oriented, compassionate individual. On a grander scale, your choices in life often say a lot about you. Your choices throughout life can shape you for the good or bad, but your coffee preferences will only be a minute part of this equation.

Your personality may influence the sphere of your life, romantic relationships, jobs, attitudes, and perceptions, but it’s not something that can’t be altered. It might be harder to change when you have a dominant personality that thinks you’re always right, but it’s not impossible.

By thinking positively, using mindfulness, and adopting an attitude of gratitude, you can change your entire life. Many factors, such as genetics, temperament, and atmosphere, dictate your mental health and personality. However, you should not fear change, as change is essential to help you grow.

black coffee

Final Thoughts on Drinking Black Coffee

Though your coffee habits tell a small part about you, it’s insignificant. Yet, if you drink black coffee, you might want to venture out and try some sugar or a little creamer.

Sometimes, it’s mentally healthy to get out of the rut, as it can do wonders to shake up your mundane routine. It’s nice to veer a bit off the road most traveled and try something spontaneous and adventurous.

10 Habits Of People Who Are Always Happy

by

“Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Happiness comes in waves, but people can also create their own happiness. Even when the daily grind feels like too much, there’s always the people who are happy and positive. Learning how to deal with the things that life can throw in a healthy and constructive way can lead to happier people. But how do they do it?

Happy people aren’t just that way by accident! People who somehow manage to stay more positive than others work hard at practicing the right kind of habits that help them deal with the world. If you find that you are longing to be a happier person, there’s no need to fret. You, too, can practice the daily habits of a happy person.

10 Successful Habits Of Incredibly Happy People That Will Benefit You

1. Take a day all for yourself because you deserve it

It’s okay to be ambitious and to take care of other people, but happy people also know when to set aside a day to take care of themselves!

According to Dr. Aymee Coget, “By not taking a little time out of each day for yourself, you might be less happy than possible. Start by focusing on yourself. Acknowledge that your own happiness is important and practice happiness-boosting routines.”

Self-care is an important habit that’s practiced by happy people. Taking even just one day a week to enjoy yourself and take care of your mental health will improve your disposition.

2. Reach out to a friend and release your worries

Sometimes, things in life can get overwhelming. Instead of bottling it all up, happy people have learned to open up and reach out to their support network. Friends are the perfect people to release all your worries to. They make a good sounding board, and can often offer great advice. Remember to be there for them, too!

3. Make lists and finish them by organizing your time

To-do lists are the perfect way to deal with a busy schedule. Happier people organize the things that need to be done in a list, and then make sure that list gets done! No matter how big or small, whatever needs to get done that day goes on the list. You’ll be amazed how happy and accomplished you feel once the list is complete.

4. Do something kind for another person

Doing good and being a good person is proven to make you feel better and happier. When you bring happiness to someone else, you’ll remember how good it feels to be kind – and hopefully, that person will pay it forward!

According to Dr. Oliver Scott Curry from the Institute of Cognitive and Evolutionary Anthropology, “Humans are social animals. We are happy to help family, friends, colleagues, community members and even strangers under some conditions. This research suggests that people do indeed derive satisfaction from helping others.”

Helping each other is the only way to make the world around us more positive with each good deed.

5. Cut toxic people out of your life no matter how difficult it feels

The thing that happier people all have it commons is not being surrounded by toxic people. Whether this person is a friend, partner or family member, your emotional well-being is more important than pleasing a toxic, negative or manipulative person.

happy

6. Make sure that you don’t skip meals and that you eat healthy food

Happy people eat, and that’s just a fact. This doesn’t mean you need to eat unhealthily, but skipping meals and undereating will only make you feel tired and weak, and it’s hard to feel happy when you’re hungry.

Professor Andrew Oswald says, “Eating fruit and vegetables apparently boosts our happiness far more quickly than it improves human health.” Make time in your schedule to eat, and your body will thank you for it.

7. Make sure your work area is clean and clutter-free

Whether this is a home, apartment, studio, or just the office workspace, happy people have happy spaces. Cleaning up loose cups, garbage or papers will make your mind feel less anxious. Plus, it’s so much nicer to spend time in a clean area instead of having to worry about when the next time you’ll clean it is.

8. Treat yourself because you deserve something nice too

Happy people know when they deserve something nice. As long as you don’t go overboard or make a bad habit out of it, shopping and treating yourself to something nice is a good way to keep your mood elevated. Try using this as a reward for getting work done, or finishing a big project!

9. Think positively no matter what influences your thoughts

This one can be hard, especially if you’re used to thinking negatively. The fact of the matter is, happier people focus on positive thinking. Rather than using negative words in their self-talk, happy people use a more positive outlook. Once you’ve mastered how to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones, you’ll be well on your way to being happier every single day.

10. In the end, remember to forgive yourself because no one is perfect

The mistakes that we make don’t define us, and people who live happier lives know the power that forgiveness can have. So, forgive yourself for taking that extra year off college, or turning down a job offer. Life is going to keep moving forward, so we might as well be as kind to ourselves as we can!

Learning happiness is different for everyone, but everyone can do it. Each person deserves to live a happier life, and the habits that lead you down that path are effective, healthy and can even help make the people around you more positive! Be kind to yourself, and remember that it’s okay if you don’t notice a change overnight. Some of these take time- but they’re so worth the effort!

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References
Increase Your Happiness by Making Time for Yourself http://www.blogher.com/increase-your-happiness-making-time-yourself
Being kind to others does make you ‘slightly happier’ http://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2016-10-05-being-kind-others-does-make-you-slightly-happier
Fruit and veggies give you the feel-good factor https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160710094239.htm

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