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Researchers Explain How Negativity Feeds Cancer

Emotions are deeply tied to our overall physical health. When our minds and emotions are suffering, our bodies also suffer. The magnitude of emotions affecting our bodies may be greater than we have anticipated. Anxiety and depression can cause our bodies to feel overtired and run down and even suppress our immune systems. But what can negativity do?

But negative emotions can do much more than that. For example, scientists are now looking toward negative emotions as a detrimental cause of cancerous growth. Cancer has always been known as a growth of cells,. Indeed, most causes tend to be chemicals such as the ones in cigarettes, carcinogens in air pollution, and even chemicals that we ingest every day in our food.

Cancer has always been something medical that can be fought against with medicines and surgeries – but now, scientists are revealing that negative emotions can feed cancer. This new discovery also means positive emotions can send us well on our way to healing.

But How Does Negativity Encourage Cancer Growth?

Twenty years of research has found that cancer development can be caused by negative feelings, with the feelings of “unforgiveness” being one of the leading emotions. Forgiveness has long been linked to our mental and physical health. The chief surgeon at the Cancer Treatments of America, Dr. Steven Standiford, explained that healing emotional wounds is just as important in cancer treatments as treating physical ones.

The evidence for emotional involvement in both the spread of cancer and its healing elements has caused the inclusion of “forgiveness therapy.” A look into cancer patients has found that 60% of those patients have some kind of issue with forgiveness, an emotional block against allowing themselves to forgive the people in their lives that have caused them hurt. Half of those patients are dealing with severe cases of cancer.

“Chronic anxiety very predictably produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which is your body’s foot soldier in the fight against cancer.” – Dr. Michael Barry

Negative emotions and physical ailments work like this: the negative feelings are being kept inside, bottled up, and never released. Keeping these negative emotions locked inside and refusing to work through them can cause chronic anxiety in anyone. This anxiety creates chemical and physical changes in your body, such as an excess of adrenaline. This excess adrenaline makes it harder for your body to produce the cells it needs to fight the cancer. The way to alleviate this chronic anxiety is to deal with the negative anxiety emotions outright.

Being able to rid yourself of the extreme anger and hatred that comes with being unable to forgive means that your body will no longer be a victim of the chronic anxiety these feelings produce. This isn’t just with cancer, however. Focusing on forgiveness has been proven to heal the emotional and mental scars that many of us carry throughout our lives. A recent study on female survivors of emotional abuse focused on women’s forgiveness regarding their healing process.

The study found that the women who used forgiveness as a form of healing were less likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and anxiety. Forgiveness can be the path to helping people deal with all sorts of illnesses, both mental and physical. That’s because of the way our emotions work has a proven effect on our physical well-being.  Counselors who specialize in the art of forgiveness relay that this process begins with one’s self-acceptance. In fact, they note how turning your effort inward into forgiveness allows you to release all that pent-up anger at those who have hurt you in the past.

 

cancer

Final Thoughts on Releasing Negativity and Loving Yourself

Once you can focus on yourself, you no longer hold the grudges that made you ill in the first place. Less emotional turmoil means that your mind and your body are well on your way to healing. Learning to forgive can be difficult. That’s why there are therapies dedicated to this process! However, no matter the challenges, learning to allow yourself to forgive means that you will be a more healthy and happy individual. Forgiveness is rarely about the other person.

Forgiveness is about being able to release negativity from holding you down. In this case, it can make you ill. After all that research, we see how positive emotions can bring about the best of changes in your life.

References
Negativity Literally Makes Cancer Grow Inside The Body, According To Science
http://healinglifeisnatural.com/negativity-literally-makes-cancer-grow-inside-the-body-according-to-science/?=pa

Researchers Explain What Happens To Your Brain When You Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night

Sleep and the brain

Before we delve any further, let’s consider this statistic: in 2013, 40 percent of Americans did not get the recommended amount of sleep per night (seven to eight hours.)

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has labeled insufficient sleep a public health issue. Worse, inadequate sleep negatively impacts how your brain functions.

Dr. Richard Shane, a behavioral sleep specialist, states: “MRI imaging shows a lack of sleep reduces blood flow to areas of the brain that control higher-level thought processes. It impairs your problem-solving abilities, slows your cognitive speed, and decreases constructive thinking skills and logical reasoning.”

In other words, inadequate sleep reduces your brain’s effectiveness in nearly every way imaginable.

When asked about what sleep does, John Peever, director of the Systems Neurobiology Laboratory at the University of Toronto, replied, “Sleep serves to reenergize the body’s cells, clear waste from the brain, and support learning and memory. It is vital in regulating mood, appetite, and libido.”

The Effects of Irregular Sleep On Your Brain

deep sleep

Clearing waste from the brain is an essential mechanism of sleep. During this phase, the cerebrospinal flows through our brain and flushes out all kinds of toxins. One hazardous type of chemical cleansed during this process is beta-amyloid – a toxic protein.

Megan Hogan, a co-author of the study, explains her team’s findings:

“Using PET (Positron Emission Tomography) scans over the course of three years, we studied amyloid building and were able to compare the brain scans of individuals with obstructive sleep apnea and those who did not have the disease.”

Hogan and her team were especially interested in a condition known as obstructive sleep apnea, or OSA. Sleep apnea disrupts sleep through “repeated episodes of (under-breathing) and apnea (not breathing) during sleep.”

OSA occurs in around 30 percent of women and 20 percent of men. OSA is also directly linked to increased levels of beta-amyloid. As it turns out, beta-amyloid is found in high concentrations within another demographic: Alzheimer’s patients.

“During sleep… your brain has time to wash away all the toxins that have built up throughout the day. Continually interrupting sleep may give it less time to do that.” – Megan Hogan

What Is Alzheimer’s?

Per the Alzheimer’s Association, “Alzheimer’s is a type of dementia that causes problems with memory, thinking and behavior.”

Here are some sobering facts about Alzheimer’s disease:

  • It is the most common form of dementia, “a general term for memory loss and other cognitive abilities serious enough to interfere with daily life,” accounting for up to 80 percent of all dementia cases.
  • A progressive disease, symptoms get worse over time. Initially, the person experiences mild memory problems. Later in life, most patients are rendered incapable of conversing or living autonomously.
  • It is the 6th leading cause of death in the United States.
  • Alzheimer’s has no cure (though some recent research has shown promise.)
  • The most common symptoms of Alzheimer’s are difficulty remembering new information, disorientation, mood and behavior changes, confusion, paranoia, and difficulty speaking, swallowing, and walking.

Irregular Sleep and Alzheimer’s

Per the Alzheimer’s Association, two abnormal substances – plaques and tangles – are responsible for the accelerated depletion (killing) of the brain’s nerve cells.

A type of plaque discovered to be widespread in the brains of Alzheimer’s patients post-mortem is beta-amyloid. Scientists believe that beta-amyloid, along with a protein called tau (rhyming with “wow”), block the “communication among nerve cells and disrupt processes that cells need to survive.”

As mentioned, the same type of plaque is seen in patients with irregular sleeping patterns.

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Final Thoughts: Brain Health and Sleep Loss Share a Connection

While more studies will follow, there is – at the very least – a correlation between abnormal sleeping patterns and Alzheimer’s disease. Neuroscientists are nearly universal and agree that apnea patients with high concentrations of beta-amyloid within the brain have an increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s.

The simple deduction would conclude that chronic sleeping problems increase the risk of Alzheimer’s.

The study at Wheaton College was not the first to make this discovery, though they did expand on previous works.

Over four years ago, the same researchers responsible for discovering the glymphatic system, our brain’s waste disposal mechanism, reached the following conclusion:

“(This study’s) findings have significant implications for treating ‘dirty brain’ diseases like Alzheimer’s. Understanding how and when the brain activates the glymphatic system and clears waste is critical…”

This most recent study may bring us one step closer. One thing is for sure: proper sleep is crucial to brain health.

If you experience problems sleeping, please seek the advice of a medical professional.

Researchers Explain What Your Favorite Coffee Says About Your Personality

Coffee and…psychology?

Well, let’s see…

“Police work wouldn’t be possible without coffee,” Wallander said.

“No work would be possible without coffee.”

They pondered the importance of coffee in silence.

­– Henning Mankell, “One Step Behind”

Some researchers believe that how you take your java indicates your personality.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a professor of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles (and recipient of the University’s 2012 ‘Outstanding Professor’ award) conducted a study of 1,000 coffee drinkers, assessing several personality styles and psychological traits. The professor found that we may have more in common with our favorite coffee order than we know.

The good professor is not alone, either. You know there’s something when Harvard University starts researching our biological connection with coffee.

Researching and writing this article was very entertaining. We hope that you feel the same enjoyment reading it!

(Java drinkers: we’d love to hear your feedback! Do you identify with your coffee of choice or not?)

Without further ado, here’s what your coffee says about your personality:

Black Coffee Drinkers: Simple, straightforward, quiet, moody

Of all coffee lovers in the study, people who take theirs black were found to be more simplistic, patient, and simple. They’re also the most straightforward and to the point. For black coffee drinkers, minimalism (a trait we could all use more of) is something they hold dear.

On the flip side, black coffee drinkers were found to be quiet and moody. Further, they were discovered to be very “set in their ways”; adamant against change of any kind. Anti-social personalities were most prominent in this group, as well. (*Cough*…Dad and Grandpa Joe…*cough*)

Espresso Drinkers: Bold, intense, well-traveled, pretentious

Black coffee is bitter – but not bitter enough for espresso lovers. The taste of espresso is strong, and certainly not on the menu for someone who someone who enjoys a sweeter cup of joe.

So what about espresso drinkers? Their personalities seem to mirror espresso’s properties and social perceptions: bitter and forceful, yet pretentious and excessive. Espresso drinkers are also most likely to have visited another country. Italy, perhaps?

Cappuccino/Frappuccino Drinkers: Trendsetting, adventurous, perfectionistic, sensitive

If you like the sweet, frothy varieties of coffee, you’re the most likely to be an extrovert. You’re also a trendsetter and have a thirst for adventure. Unfortunately, you may also be perfectionistic – a trait that undermines your talent and renders you complacent at times.

You’re also the among the more sensitive types – and have a marked tendency to worry and stress over the small stuff.

Flavored Coffee Drinkers: Creative, imaginative, impulsive, stressed

Flavored coffee drinkers are the ones sitting quietly at the back of the classroom doodling in their notebooks. They’re the daydreamers, artists, and inventors. Indeed, flavored blend drinkers are the most creative of all groups. This creative streak does come at a cost, however.

Like all great creators and artists, they’re whimsical and impulsive. They don’t have a very thick skin, so it’s common to witness a facepalm while they’re holding onto their hazelnut blend.

coffee

Decaf Drinkers: Cautious, observant, obsessive, controlling

First, why do people drink decaf? Well, barring any sensitivities to caffeine, it’s because they enjoy the taste and not the effect. What does this tell us? Quite a bit.

Decaf drinkers tend to be in control – both of themselves and others, if necessary. They’re astute observers and are on the lookout for anything that goes awry. Unfortunately, decaf drinkers are also most likely to obsess about every small detail. They’re also prone to worry, which makes sense given their need for control.

Instant Coffee Drinkers: Ambitious, hardworking/laziness, procrastination

Unfortunately, instant coffee drinkers get hammered on by these studies. Again, it’s important to ask why people drink instant coffee? Well, either you’re busy and require a quick injection of caffeine, or you’re lazy and don’t put much effort into anything.

If you’re in the former group, well done. If you’re in the latter, we would say “try harder, ” but you probably wouldn’t care.

(Opinion: considering that “K-Cups” – a product that borderline classifies as instant caffeine – is a multi-million dollar business, many of us have apparently replaced the word “laziness” with “convenience.”)

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/d-brief/2014/10/07/genetics-explains-why-you-drink-so-much-coffee/#.WXrZhYjfpEZ

http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/what-your-coffee-order-reveals-about-you/
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/10322757/What-your-coffee-reveals-about-your-personality.html
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/coffee

11 Signs Someone Has Bipolar Affective Disorder

Bipolar Affective Disorder, otherwise referred to as bipolar disorder, is a psychological disorder characterized by “cycles of elevated (manic) and depressed mood, (fitting) the description of ‘manic depression.’”

While not in a state of manic depression, the person may lead a productive life – all while appearing to function normally. However, without proper treatment, people with bipolar disorder are often severely impaired both occupationally and socially.

Estimations cite the prevalence of bipolar disorder at 1.5-2.5 percent of the U.S. population. Bipolar affective disorder is a complex mood illness – to illustrate, consider the following statistics:

  • As many as 20% of people complaining of depression to their doctor actually have bipolar disorder.
  • About half of people with bipolar disorder see three professionals before receiving an accurate diagnosis.
  • It takes an average of 10 years for people to enter treatment for bipolar disorder after symptoms begin. This is caused in part by delays in diagnosis.
  • Most people with bipolar disorder have additional psychiatric conditions (such as substance abuse or anxiety) that can make overall diagnoses more challenging.

The four types of bipolar disorder are:

  • Bipolar I
  • Bipolar II
  • Cyclothymic [sigh-clo-thy-mik] disorder
  • Bipolar disorder not otherwise specified (BP-NOS)

In this article, we’re going to discuss the causes, symptoms, and treatment options available for bipolar disorder.

Signs Someone Has Bipolar Affective Disorder

“ Bipolar disorder is a complex mood illness comprising several diverse types; each distinguished by the pattern, frequency, duration, and intensity of a person’s symptoms. ” – Nina Moadel, M.D., Practicing psychiatrist in Rockville Centre, New York

Signs of Bipolar I and II

Of the four types, bipolar I and II are both the most common and the most similar.

Here are overlapping signs of both bipolar I and II:

  • Constantly changing ideas and topics while talking
  • Loud, rapid, and uninterruptible speech
  • Hyperactive behavior and amplified energy
  • Exaggerated self-image (self-confidence)

What differentiates bipolar I are the severity of symptoms, particularly during the manic phase. Healthhype.com states:

“Bipolar I disorder involves periods of severe mood episodes from mania to depression. Bipolar II disorder is a milder form of mood elevation, involving milder episodes of hypomania that alternate with periods of severe depression.”

Further, the depression-to-mania ratio is markedly higher in bipolar I disorder – at 3:1. Individuals with bipolar II average around 35:1.

Additional signs of bipolar I include:

  • Excessive spending habits
  • Overactive sexual drive (“hypersexuality”)
  • Substance abuse

Bipolar II

As noted, people with bipolar II disorder spend disproportionately more time in a depressed state. Further, their manic episodes are different. Hypomania, or “a mild form of mania, marked by elation and hyperactivity” is typical of bipolar II patients. Fortunately, hypomania does not significantly impact a person’s daily functioning.

A person diagnosed with bipolar II “has had at least one hypomanic episode and one major depressive episode in his or her life.” A major depressive episode involves symptoms severe enough to interfere with daily life. Symptoms include loss of interest or feeling no pleasure in activities, drastic weight fluctuations, insomnia or excessive sleeping, fatigue, inability to concentrate, and suicidal ideations.

struggling quote

The Mayo Clinic explains the difference between I and II, “While the manic episodes of bipolar I episodes can be severe and dangerous, individuals with bipolar II disorder can be depressed for longer periods, which can cause significant impairment.”

Signs of Cyclothymic disorder (Cyclothymia)

Cyclothymia is a very rare condition – affecting between .4 to 1 percent of the population. The symptoms of the cyclothymic disorder include:

  • A mild, chronic depression
  • Cyclic highs and lows (must be present for a minimum of two years for a diagnosis.)
  • Hypomania

Though Cyclothymia is often described as a milder form of bipolar disorder, it’s a separate illness. However, statistics show that someone who suffers from the disorder is 15-50 percent more likely to develop bipolar I or II. Thus, it is crucial for individuals to seek treatment.

Signs of Bipolar Disorder Otherwise Not Specified (BP-NOS)

BP-NOS is when “a person has symptoms that do not meet the full diagnostic criteria (e.g. mania, hypomania, major depressive episodes, etc.) for bipolar I or bipolar II.”  You might also hear the term subthreshold bipolar disorder used interchangeably with BP-NOS.

Individuals diagnosed with BP-NOS usually experience symptoms that interfere with their normal personality, but often not to the severity or duration required to be diagnosed with bipolar.

Treatment for Bipolar Disorder

Except in cases where a person suffers from extreme mania, issuing a diagnosis of bipolar disorder is tricky. Too often, people who suffer from bipolar II, Cyclothymia, and BP-NOS receive a misdiagnosis of depression. The prescribed treatment, therefore, is usually a failure. Anti-depressants do not address the underlying neurochemical deficiencies.

In severe cases, patients diagnosed with bipolar disorders receive antipsychotic prescriptions. Doctors might also suggest. anti-anxiety medications, including benzodiazepines.

In mild cases, some behavioral therapy options are discussed. The three types of therapy are:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – a focus on changing negative thoughts and beliefs into positive ones; stress management techniques; identification of trigger points
  • Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) – teaches awareness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation
  • Interpersonal and Social Rhythm Therapy (IPSRT) – a focus on the stabilization of daily rhythms – especially related to sleep, wake, and mealtimes; routines being indicative of helping stabilize moods.

Researchers Explain Why Men And Women Argue (And 5 Ways to Stop)

Here’s why some couples may have so many arguments.

Have you ever found yourself in a heated debate with your partner, only to wonder how you even got there in the first place? You’re not alone. Across the globe, couples have arguments over the tiniest of triggers. But what if we told you that the reasons men and women argue are deeply rooted in biology and evolution? 

Diving into the heart of these disagreements can shed light on the age-old mysteries of romantic conflicts. It can also offer invaluable insights on navigating and resolving them. Join us as we unravel the science behind these clashes and, more importantly, discover actionable strategies to foster harmony in your relationship.

The Science Behind Why Couples Argue

We are all products of millions of years of evolution. Our ancestors faced different challenges and played distinct roles that have subtly influenced our behaviors today. But before looking into our prehistoric past, let’s start with something more immediate: our biology.

Biology: More Than Just Chromosomes

When we think of biological differences between men and women, it’s easy to oversimplify things down to XX and XY chromosomes. However, the story is far more intricate. Men and women have distinct brain structures and functions. For instance, studies have shown that women generally have a larger prefrontal cortex responsible for decision-making. They may also have a more prominent limbic system, which governs emotions. That doesn’t mean one gender is more emotional or rational than the other; it simply highlights that our brains process information differently.

Hormonal differences further accentuate these disparities. While both genders produce hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, the levels and effects vary. For example, testosterone, often linked to aggression and competitiveness, is higher in men. On the other hand, women’s hormonal fluctuations during menstrual cycles can influence mood and perception. Recognizing these inherent differences can be the first step towards understanding the unique ways each gender communicates and reacts.

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A Glimpse into Our Ancestral Roles

Taking a step back, our evolutionary roles as hunters (men) and gatherers (women) have left an indelible mark on our behaviors. Men, as hunters, tracked and hunted down prey. It was a role that required focus, strategy, and sometimes, isolation. That might explain why, in modern times, some men prefer to “retreat” and process things internally when faced with challenges.

Conversely, women, as gatherers, collected food and nurtured the young. This role demanded collaboration, communication, and multitasking. Unsurprisingly, many women today are naturally inclined towards open communication and seeking communal support when dealing with issues.

Common Triggers for Couples Who Argue

Now that we have examined some research and history…what exactly kicks off an argument? Here are a few common themes.

The Art and Science of Communication

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. But it’s also one of the most common culprits behind disagreements. Expressing our thoughts, feelings, and concerns can bridge gaps or widen chasms. So why do men and women often seem to speak different languages, even when using the same words?

Research shows that men and women often have distinct communication preferences. 

Men, for instance, tend to be more solution-oriented. When faced with a problem, their instinct might be to find a fix, a direct action that can address the issue at hand. At times, the problem-solving can be abstract. Although solutions are valuable, women can sometimes view them as dismissive. That may especially happen if the other party seeks empathy or validation.

Women, on the other hand, often prioritize emotional expression. Sharing feelings, venting frustrations, or being heard can be therapeutic. For many women, discussing an issue and feeling understood can be just as important, if not more so, than finding an immediate solution.

The Emotional Landscape

Emotions are complex, and their role in arguments is fundamental. Men and women have different emotional needs or ways of expressing these emotions. For instance, while both genders seek respect, how they interpret and need it can vary. A man might feel respected when his expertise is acknowledged. On the other hand, a woman might equate respect with being heard and valued.

Furthermore, misunderstandings can arise when one partner assumes the other should “just know” how they feel. Expecting a partner to be a mind reader is a recipe for disappointment. That’s because it can lead to feelings of neglect or being taken for granted.

External Pressures and Their Role

Life’s external stressors – work, finances, health, or family pressures – can significantly influence the dynamics of a relationship. Financial woes, for instance, are a leading cause of strife among couples. Disagreements about spending, saving, or financial priorities can quickly escalate. That’s especially true if underlying issues like trust or security are at play.

Similarly, pressures from extended family, differing parenting styles, or even societal expectations can start arguments. It’s essential to recognize that sometimes, the root of an argument might not be the immediate issue at hand but an underlying concern or fear.

By understanding these common triggers, couples can better navigate disagreements. It’s not about avoiding arguments altogether—after all, disagreements can be healthy and lead to growth. Instead, it’s about ensuring that couples approach them with understanding and empathy when conflicts arise. But most of all, they need a genuine desire to resolve them constructively.

5 Ways to Stop the Arguments

Arguments are a natural part of any relationship. They often signify two individuals trying to merge their distinct perspectives, values, and experiences. However, continuous and unresolved conflicts can strain even the strongest bonds. Here are five proven strategies to reduce the frequency of disagreements and address them in a healthy, constructive manner.

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1. The Power of Active Listening When You Argue

Active listening goes beyond just hearing words. It’s about truly understanding and internalizing what your partner is saying. That means resisting the urge to formulate a response while they’re speaking, avoiding interruptions, and giving them your full attention. You will validate their feelings and show that you genuinely care about their perspective. Often, just feeling heard can defuse a lot of tension.

2. Steer Clear of the Blame Game

It’s easy to point fingers or assign blame during heated moments. However, doing so rarely leads to a resolution and often exacerbates the situation. Instead of saying, “You always…” or “You never…”, try expressing your feelings and needs. For instance, “I feel hurt when…” or “I would appreciate it if…”. This shift from blame to expression can pave the way for a more constructive conversation.

3. Consider Professional Guidance if You Argue Frequently

There’s no shame in seeking external help. Couples therapy or counseling can provide a neutral ground where both parties can express their feelings, guided by a professional. Therapists can offer tools, techniques, and insights to help couples navigate their unique challenges and strengthen their bond.

4. Set and Respect Boundaries

Every individual has boundaries—lines that a partner must never cross. These can include personal space, communication styles, or even past experiences. Both partners must communicate their boundaries clearly and ensure they’re respected. Recognizing and honoring these limits can prevent many arguments from arising in the first place.

5. Recognize When to Take a Breather if You Argue

Not every disagreement needs immediate resolution. Sometimes, emotions run too high, making productive conversation impossible. In such cases, stepping back, cooling down, and revisiting the issue later is okay. This break can provide clarity and perspective, allowing both parties to approach the situation calmly.

Implementing these strategies requires effort, patience, and commitment from both parties. However, the rewards—a deeper understanding, strengthened bond, and a harmonious relationship—are worth the effort.

The Role of Empathy When You Argue

Empathy is a powerful tool. In fact, it can connect two individuals, allowing them to see the world through each other’s eyes. But what is empathy, and why is it so pivotal in resolving conflicts between men and women?

Understanding Empathy

Empathy is an ability to comprehend and share another’s feelings. It’s more than just sympathy, which is compassion for someone else’s plight. Empathy involves immersing oneself in another’s emotional state, truly feeling their joy, pain, or confusion. It’s a skill that can be honed and developed with practice and intention.

Empathy in Action

Imagine a scenario where one partner comes home after a particularly challenging day at work, feeling defeated and overwhelmed. Instead of offering solutions or dismissing their feelings, the other partner says, “That sounds really tough. I’m here for you.” 

This simple acknowledgment, without judgment or advice, can be incredibly comforting. It sends a clear message: “I see you. I hear you. I’m with you.”

Empathy as a Conflict Resolver

When disagreements arise, empathy can be a game-changer. By trying hard to understand where the other person is coming from, you can diffuse tension and pave the way for a constructive conversation. 

For instance, try to understand the underlying emotion or need to drive your partner’s words instead of getting defensive when faced with criticism. Are they feeling neglected? Are they seeking validation? Addressing these core emotions can often resolve surface-level disagreement.

The Challenges of Being Empathetic

While empathy is a powerful tool, it’s not always easy to employ, especially during heated moments. It requires setting aside one’s ego, biases, and preconceived notions. 

It demands vulnerability, openness, and a willingness to see beyond one’s perspective. However, the effort is well worth it. Empathetic interactions foster trust, deepen emotional connections, and promote a sense of safety and security in a relationship.

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Final Thoughts on Why Men and Women Argue

Relationships, with all their nuances, joys, and challenges, are a journey of discovery. As we’ve explored, the reasons men and women argue are multifaceted, rooted in biology, evolution, societal norms, and individual experiences. But with every disagreement comes an opportunity to understand, grow, and forge a deeper bond.

Recognizing the triggers of conflicts, armed with tools like active listening, empathy, and setting boundaries, can transform how couples interact. Instead of viewing arguments as battles to win, view them as conversations, avenues to understand and be understood.

It’s essential to remember that no relationship is perfect. Disagreements are natural, even healthy. They challenge us, push us out of our comfort zones, and prompt introspection. The goal isn’t to eliminate arguments but to ensure they’re constructive, leading to growth and understanding.

Relationship Experts Reveal 4 Reasons Why People Stay In Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships are a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. – Center For Relationship Abuse Awareness

“Why don’t you leave?”

People who’ve experienced domestic abuse are often asked this question. No matter the context or tone in which it’s asked, “Why don’t you leave?” is a futile inquiry.

Let’s think about this question a moment, shall we?

Human beings have evolved to be social creatures. We survived by forming groups, sharing resources, and establishing bonds. We’re uniquely capable of reciprocating love and care while sacrificing ourselves for the good of others.

Abuse, of any kind, goes against the fabric of our very design. As with all things our brain encounters that are foreign and aggressive, abused individuals are prone to mental disturbances.

The Mental Effects

Kathryn Patricelli, a psychologist and grief counselor, writes:

“Victimized people commonly develop emotional or psychological problems secondary to their abuse, including anxiety disorders and various forms of depression, (substance abuse disorders), or posttraumatic stress disorder [PTSD].”

When our mental faculties are severely affected, it’s difficult to make any decision. It’s difficult to summon the capacity to do anything. So, how hard must it be, then, for someone who’s being abused to think her way out of an abusive situation?

The mental effects of abuse leave a marked impact on a person’s mind. These effects also help explain common reasons given by people who stay in abusive relationships. Fear is a byproduct of abuse, and it’s a tremendously powerful one.

This article discusses some of the reasons why people stay in an abusive relationship. You’ll undoubtedly notice that “choice” isn’t something that applies. Finally, we’ll provide some resources that may help someone in an abusive situation.

Here are the reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, according to experts:

Conflicting Emotions

A person betrays their partner’s trust the moment they become abusive. However, this betrayal (naturally) is not enough for most people to stop feeling love for their partner. The abused, initially, will warn their partner of the consequences if they continue the behavior. Sometimes, the abuser apologizes and promises to change. Unfortunately, they often don’t, and the abused becomes trapped in a “But I love them” situation.

Sometimes, the abused is very close to the abuser’s family or friends – this further complicates the situation. The thought of losing people they’ve come to love is dreadful.

Feeling Obligated

A person may feel obligated or pressured to stay in an abusive relationship.

Having children, of course, is sometimes enough for a person to stay around. This situation is challenging, particularly when children aren’t privy to the abuse, or if they “side with” the abusive parent.

Finally, there are religious or cultural pressures with which some must contend. In the Philippines, for example, divorce is illegal; restricted to annulment or legal separation. In some predominantly Muslim countries, physical separation from a spouse is punishable by law regardless of the reasons given. Extreme gender inequality, e.g. laws and regulations that overwhelmingly favor men, are common.

Lack of Resources

Finances can also get in the way of exiting an abusive relationship. If the abused is financially dependent on their partner, it may seem impossible for them to leave. Indeed, without some source of funds, it’s easy to contemplate why one would feel this way.

The abused may also think they have nowhere to go. For some, finding shelter may be a phone call or two away. Others either don’t have a support network or don’t want to depend on someone else’s help (something that is strongly encouraged.)

Absent money or a support system, the last option is to reach out for public assistance. Again, the abused may or may not have access to such resources, not want to use them, or is unsure how to go about seeking help.

Finally, they may feel fearful of their partner discovering their intentions. This fear can feel so overwhelming as to “paralyze” the abused from taking any action.

Help

First, it is important to understand that abuse is not the victim’s fault. Abusers can be very manipulative in this way. The ability to shed the burden of responsibility often makes the difference between seeking out help or not.

Second, most states and jurisdictions have stringent laws against abuse. The legal actions one can take depends on their situation, but authorities could issue a restraining order  – barring the abuser from contact lest they incur substantial penalties.

Lastly, there are good people waiting to help. If you’re uncertain what to do or what your options are, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or visit their website at www.thehotline.org. A chat option is also available.

Canadian citizens have a plethora of options available through various institutions. Please see www.dawncanada.net for more details.

There are community-based domestic violence programs in every U.S. state. Some states offer temporary financial assistance. A counselor at the National Domestic Violence Hotline will provide specifics on resources available in your state.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
http://www.dawncanada.net/issues/issues/we-can-tell-and-we-will-tell-2/crisis-hotlines/
http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/what-is-relationship-abuse/

http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/why-do-people-stay/
https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/effects-of-abuse/
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