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10 Signs You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship

An unhealthy relationship can be easy to spot from the outside, but more difficult to recognize when you’re in the middle of one. You may have friends or family coming to you with concerns, but you’re able to easily justify or sweep away trouble behaviors.

“You can put all your effort in trying to make someone happy… but there comes a time when we become tired of trying to fill a bucket that is leaking from the inside.” – Steve Maraboli

Unhealthy relationships don’t always have to involve physical or emotional abuse – though both are immediate red flags that the relationship is unhealthy. Being able to pinpoint the ways your relationship is unhealthy will be able to allow you to take steps to change it, or give you a sign that it’s time to leave.

10 SIGNS YOU’RE IN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

1. CONSTANT CRITICISM

Unhealthy relationships involve one or both partners being endlessly criticized by the other. This criticism doesn’t have to be fair or just, either. Sometimes, it’s simply a way for one partner to control the other. This may happen in front of other people, as a way to show their power. Be honest with yourself and whether or not your partner is criticizing you fairly or whether they’re doing it to gain emotional control of you. Being able to stop this sign can give you the knowledge to get out of the unhealthy relationship.

2. POOR COMMUNICATION

Communication is the backbone of all healthy relationships. Being able to discuss your feelings and communicate with your partner is one of the best ways to make a relationship work. Unfortunately, a relationship becomes unhealthy when the communication is lacking, or only one partner is putting in any effort. Ask yourself honestly if you feel comfortable expressing your emotions to your partner, and if the answer is no, you may want to figure out why. Counseling can help give a safe space for both of you to work on your communication issues.

3. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR

Everyone has known someone who is passive aggressive. When your partner begins to display this type of behavior, it is a show of manipulation and an attempt to control what you do by giving you a choice between either doing what you’re told or facing a cold shoulder. Passive-aggressive behavior can also manifest in purposely failing to do something that was asked of them, or purposeful procrastination in anything from cleaning the fridge to displaying and withholding affection.

4. CODEPENDENCY

When you’re unable to separate yourself from your partner, this is a sign of codependency. Codependent behavior enables negative traits in one another, such as the support of addictive behaviors, irresponsibility or mental illness. Being codependent is not the same as having a support system. Codependency is a way for one party to control the other by making them dependent on their validation. The best way to break free of codependent behavior is to have a support system outside of your relationship, whether that’s friends, family or a counselor.

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5. VERBAL ABUSE

Verbal abuse is a type of emotional abuse that stems from one partner trying to manipulate and control the other through shame, degradation and manipulation. A verbally abusive partner indicates that your relationship has turned unhealthy, and you should leave. Confide in friends, family and counselors who can help you take the steps you need to end the relationship. Verbal abuse is not something anyone should have to endure to feel worthwhile, and will only eventually make the relationship unsustainable.

6. PHYSICAL ABUSE

When your partner becomes physically abusive, there’s nothing left in the relationship for it to grow. A healthy relationship is not possible when one partner uses threats of violence, or actual violence, to control and manipulate their partner. Physical abuse can be anything from smacking, hitting, slapping, kicking, punching, shoving, or even forced sex. Physical abuse can start slow, but even if the first sign was just a rough shove, you don’t deserve it. Make a plan with your support network to get out as soon as you can. One-time incidents are rare, and are usually a precursor towards the abuse getting worse.

7. DISHONESTY

Being honest and open with one another is a major component of healthy relationships. If you don’t feel safe sharing with your partner, your relationship is going to suffer. And if your partner is keeping things from you, then the relationship won’t work, either. It’s so easy to lose trust when your partner finds out that you’ve been keeping things from them, even things you don’t think matter. If you don’t feel safe sharing things with your partner, it may be a sign that your relationship isn’t going to work in the long run.

8. SEXUALLY FOCUSED

Sometimes, relationships can be casual and sex can be fun. However, if you have a long-term relationship that you’re putting emotional effort into, and find that your partner is only putting in the physical intimacy, the relationship becomes unbalanced and unhealthy. Lasting relationships need both emotional and physical intimacy. Sometimes, it’s better to forgo the fun of sex to seek out a relationship that will be longer-lasting and emotionally satisfying.

9. THREATENING TO LEAVE

When one partner threatens to leave as a means of controlling the other, the relationship is no longer balanced. Without a balanced relationship, it becomes immediately unhealthy. You will not be able to feel secure in the relationship if you’re constantly walking on eggshells worrying if something that you do will cause them to threaten to leave you. The best thing to do is to take the matter into your own hands, and end it as quickly and safely as you can.

10. TRYING TO CHANGE YOU

Your relationship won’t go anywhere if your partner doesn’t like you exactly the way you are. Using threats, passive aggressive behavior and manipulation to try and change you means that your partner sees you as something they can control. Relationships thrive on love and acceptance, not on one partner being a project to be fixed up and remedied. You deserve someone who will accept you exactly the way you are.

If you see any of these signs in your relationship, it may be time to evaluate what you want out of a partnership and whether or not you see that happening. Ending relationships can be tough, especially unhealthy ones. However, if you have a support system in place and are able to do so, ending a relationship that’s unhealthy is better for you and your partner in the long run, so that you can both get the help you need to move forward.

10 Signs of Relationship Addiction

What is relationship addiction?

To answer this question, let’s first define addiction. Per the American Society of Addiction Medicine:

“Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, social and spiritual manifestations. (As a result) an individual pathologically (pursues rewards and/or relief) by substance use and other behaviors.”

Relationship addiction is the very real cycle of personal and intimate attraction, bonding, rejection, panic, reconciliation and rejection. Let’s take a look at a real-life example of relationship addiction:

“I can’t stop myself from going back to him,” Sherry – a 40-year-old woman and mother of a 12-year old, says, “even though all I get is rejection and put downs. He reels me in with false promises that he’ll be there for me if I just shape up. (He) criticizes me and I start to feel worthless and want to pull away. (But then) I start to panic and frantically (phone or text) him. It’s almost like he’s my life line and I have to prove myself to him. But it’s a life line to hell. I feel like I’m possessed.”

Fear of Abandonment and Relationship Addiction Go Together

What Sherry is describing is a premature form of abandonment anxiety. Notice that she begins to “feel worthless” and wants to “pull away” but can’t bring herself to do so – this is a textbook state of addiction. She experiences intense feelings of reward during the initial phases of exposure; a dysfunctional mechanism causes her to fear separation from the stimuli (the man), and she repeats the devastating cycle despite the negative consequences.

Relationship addiction is an incredibly unfortunate and sad situation. Anyone who has even gone through what Sherry has can probably relate to her sense of confusion, desperation, and fear.

In this article, we discuss ten potential signs of relationship addiction – and also some professional advice for overcoming it.

relationship addiction

1. Look inside yourself to acknowledge a relationship addiction

Knowing the relationship is not good for you, but making no effort to end things. You’re capable of knowing that things are not right; yet, it’s you can’t bring yourself to end things for whatever reason.

2. Understand why you stay

Attempting but failing, to come up with a rational reason for staying in the relationship. This is quite often because there is no logical reason to stay – and your anxiety and fear of being alone take center stage.

3. Acknowledgment

Refusing to acknowledge or ignoring any thoughts that the relationship is risky. This is a phase when the precariousness of the relationship is brought to the forefront of your attention, and you refuse to engage in any interpersonal examination.

4. Relationship addiction brings anxiety

Feeling over-anxious and over-stressed when thoughts of ending the relationships arise (see “abandonment anxiety” in the introductory section.)

5. Own it

You’re in denial about any adverse effects the relationship is having; this may include any emotional, psychological and/or physical abuse. This is dangerous territory, particularly when you’re being abused and/or mistreated.

6. Don’t mistake sex for love

Misinterpreting sex for genuine, lasting romance. Following the act, further repression of painful emotions and thoughts is common. Of course, your partner never changes after their immediate needs are met.

7. Stop making excuses

Accepting your partner’s criticism as “normal” behavior. Make no mistake; this behavior is anything but normal – it’s a chronic, sick, mind game is almost always to keep you under their control.

8. End the relationship addiction

When you try to end the relationship, you quickly feel a sense of withdrawal – including physical discomfort and tension. Psychological symptoms, including depression and anxiety, often accompany the physical signs.

9. Listen to those who love you

Ignoring – or attempting to ignore – advice or concerns from your family and friends about the relationship. Disregarding pleas from family and friends risks isolating yourself further – and at a time when you may need their support the most.

10. Stay away once you break things off

Desperately trying to reestablish contact immediately after the other person ends things. In most cases, the other person will terminate the relationship before you do. This is when rationality goes AWOL, and one kicks into desperation mode.

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There is Hope for Recovering from Relationship Addiction

Per the Counseling Center at The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (UIUC), “it is often very hard to end an (addictive relationship) even when you know it is bad for you.”

UIUC counselors distinguish between a “bad relationship” and what often unfolds during stages of relationship addiction:

(a) A “bad” relationship is “not the kind that (goes through) the usual periods of disagreement and disenchantment that are inevitable when two separate people come together.”

(b) A genuinely bad relationship, as in one where a person is at the mercy of another, involves constant frustration and, yet, the victim is remains attached.

(c) The attachment felt by the victim is often the result of being attracted to someone “who is ‘unattainable’ in the sense that he or she is committed to someone else, doesn’t want a committed relationship, or is incapable of one.”

Expert Advice for Recovery From Relationship Addiction

Ann Smith, a renowned relationship therapist of over 30 years, provides six different steps one can take to break the pattern of relationship addiction:

#1 Begin to observe your own behavior. This requires taking an honest look at all past and current relationships, taking a personal inventory of your shortcomings and dysfunctions, and refraining from romantic behavior for at least six months.

#2 Notice any commonalities in your relationship experiences with those of your childhood (abuse, fear of abandonment, neglect, etc.) Should there be a link between your relationships and childhood experiences, this may require the help of a therapist.

#3 If you’re in a non-abusive relationship, abstain from making any significant decisions or requests until you’ve settled things. If you’re not in any romantic relationship – or in an abusive relationship – please consider getting some help. (The latter requires the intervention of authorities and the legal system.)

#4 Most importantly, Smith says: “Ask yourself how life would be if you took responsibility for your own happiness, successes and failures and loved yourself the way you want to be loved.”

Researchers Reveal The Best Sleep Positions For Chronic Pain

Chronic pain is a Catch-22.

You have this aching chronic pain that needs rest to recover and a body that can’t sleep because of the pain. Having to deal with chronic pain can be a burden, especially when shut eye time arrives.

Knowing body positions which are, if not comfortable, at least compatible with persistent aches and pains, is both a mental and physical relief. In the case of chronic pain sufferers, this basic knowledge can change a person’s life.

Dr. Rich Bakir, a chiropractor at Las Vegas Recovery Center, says it perfectly, “Sleep is when you heal. You need to give your body adequate time to heal itself, and if you’re never sleeping, this can worsen your symptoms. The less sleep you get, the more pain you feel.”

With this in mind, we’re going to discuss some of the best sleep positions for chronic pain.

The Most Harmful Sleep Position for Chronic Pain

But not before we discuss the sleeping pose.

The stomach.

Sorry to break the bad news to stomach sleepers. Fortunately, this group is a rare one, making up less than 7 percent of the population.

Sleeping on your belly is a bad position for two main reasons:

(1) Sleeping face-downwards puts pressure on the stomach which, in turn, places pressure on the curvature of the spine and lower back. Not only does this position worsen chronic pain, but it can also be a stimulus to pain.

(2) Stomach sleeping places the head in an unnatural position: at a 90-degree angle. When in this position, one risks instigating chronic (and acute) pain by putting too much unnecessary strain on the neck and upper spine areas.

A rather unconventional way of breaking this habit is to sleep with a tennis ball in a sleeping shirt. If you should roll over on your stomach, the uncomfortable feeling of a tennis ball pressing into your stomach will cause you to switch positions naturally.

bed sleep

The Best Sleep Positions For Chronic Pain

Naturally, the best sleeping position is one that creates the greatest amount of comfort and encourages restful sleep. With that in mind, here are the five best sleeping positions (and alternatives, when applicable) for five common pain-afflicted areas of the body.

1. Neck Pain: Back or Side & pillow between knees

There are two good sleeping positions for neck pain: on your back or on your side, whichever is more comfortable.

To help ensure proper recovery, Harvard School of Public Health makes some recommendations for both. For back-sleepers, it is necessary to support the natural curvature of the neck by using a rounded pillow, and “a flatter pillow cushioning your head.”

Back and neck-sleepers may also benefit from using different pillow types. A “memory foam” pillow naturally forms to the shape of your head and neck. A feather pillow also allows you to “shape” the cushion a bit more than a traditional pillow.

Side-sleepers: it is advisable to position your pillow at an angle where the neck rests higher than the head. This helps keep your spine straight.

2. Shoulder pain: Back (ideal) or Side

The solution for shoulder pain is quite simple: don’t sleep on the shoulder that hurts. (You’re welcome.)

Joking aside, sleeping on your back is considered ideal – if it’s comfortable for you. If not, sleeping on the side opposite of your pained shoulder is fine, too.

3. Lower back pain: Back & pillow under knees

“Huh? I reduce my back pain by sleeping on … my back?”

The proposition doesn’t seem logical, but hear us out. Lying on your back while using a pillow for support is, far and away, the best way to expedite the recovery process and (hopefully) get a good night’s rest.

sleep positions for back pain

“Lie flat on your back and place a pillow under your knees,” Dr. Bakir explains. This position supports the spine and “allows the hamstring muscles to relax.”

If sleeping on your back is intolerable, don’t fear: “If you can’t sleep on your back, sleep on your side. And place a pillow between your knees,” says Bakir.

4. Hip pain: Side & firm pillow between knees

For dreaded hip pain, side-sleeping is an accommodating position for better rest.

Sleeping on your side with a firm pillow between your knees allocates your weight evenly through your body. This helps to keep the pressure off of the hip joints and pelvis.

(Acute hip pain is often caused by inflammation. In this case, a NSAID such as Aleve [generic: naproxen] or Advil [generic: ibuprofen] may help.)

5. Headaches or jaw pain: Back & arms at side

Jaw pain and/or headaches are among the most frustrating types of pain, particularly when one is attempting to sleep.

Lying on your back with both arms at your side helps keep the body naturally aligned. This position also supports the head, neck, and shoulders, which may help reduce some of the tension-related symptoms. Tension headaches are the most common, which makes this position ideal.

8 Reasons People Don’t Lose Weight (And How To Fix It)

Trying to lose weight can be tricky, especially when you’re older or have always carried some extra weight. Changing your diet to something healthier and exercising regularly might not show the results you’re looking for.

There can be a myriad of reasons why you’re unable to lose weight despite changing your eating habits and hitting the gym. Certain lifestyle habits or underlying factors can make putting on the weight easy. Still, shedding it can be more difficult.

8 Reasons People Don’t Lose Weight (And How to Fix It)

“When you lose weight, it doesn’t begin in the gym with a dumbbell; it starts in your head with a decision.” – Toni Sorenson

1. Poor sleeping patterns and habits

When you’re not getting enough sleep, your body isn’t going to be working the way it’s supposed to. Not to mention, when you’re hit with a bout of insomnia, you might be heading to the kitchen for a midnight snack, which can lead to putting back on the weight you’d been trying to work off during the daylight hours.

Lack of sleep can also lead to a lack of motivation, making hitting the gym harder. Fixing your sleep schedule will do wonders for your mind and body.

weight loss

2. It’s too light at night

According to studies, when animals are exposed to light while their food intake and exercise levels remain constant, they can still gain weight. We live in a world now that’s constantly lit up – from city lights to television screens to our mobile phones. Electronic devices can mess up our sleep levels, and exposure to blue light makes it harder to fall asleep. While it may not make you gain weight directly, it’s harder to keep off weight when you’re not getting your best night’s sleep. Shutting off electronics before bedtime can help put your sleep patterns back on the right track.

3. You might not lose weight due to chronic stress

Stress is a well-known cause of weight gain. Not only can stress mess with your hormone levels, but it can also make emotional eaters out of all of us. Stress drives overeating, which can undo any progress you’ve made with diet and exercise. When stress starts to get high, focus on exercise and yoga to help calm you down. Or, if you know the best way to eat, keep healthy snacks in the house that will keep you on the right track with your eating.

4. You might now lose weight when taking medications

Many medications can cause your metabolism to screech to a halt. They can also cause cravings and an increase in appetite. For many medications, weight gain is a side effect, but one that can be avoided. Asking your doctor about different alternatives for your medication that don’t have a weight-gain side effect can help keep you both healthy and medicated and be good for your weight.

5. Negative self-talk

Nothing can make you lose the motivation to exercise and diet faster than not believing in yourself. When you slip up or when you skip a day at the gym, it can be easy to berate yourself and talk negatively about yourself in your head. This will make you lose the motivation to keep trying. The best thing to do is to change how you talk to yourself. Be kind to yourself and use statements in the third or second person: “You can do it,” or “It’s okay that you skipped today, you’ll try again tomorrow.” The psychological effects on your motivation will be absolutely stunning.

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6. Chemicals and pollution

We’re surrounded by all kinds of chemicals every day. Indeed, we even experience a few we don’t even think about, in the air, our gardens, and our homes. These chemicals can often promote weight gain, especially if you’ve been exposed to them for long periods during your formative growing years.

The best way to cut these chemicals out of your life is to make sure you’re buying fresh foods and cutting down on how much plastic you have in your home. Filtering your water with carbon filters will also help you cut the harmful chemicals out of your life.

7. You might not lose weight due to medical conditions

Several medical conditions can have weight gain as a side effect – for example, thyroid conditions can make you gain weight without showing any other symptoms. If you find yourself gaining weight and unable to lose it no matter what you do, try talking with your doctor and getting checked out for any number of health conditions that can cause a drastic spike in weight.

Once you get it under control, you’ll find it easier to keep the weight off and stay healthy and active.

8. Chronic depression

Sometimes, people can have depression and not even know it, because they’re just used to living that way. Unfortunately, depression can also cause weight gain from inactivity and over-eating. Talk to your doctor about how you’re feeling, and they may be able to help you manage your depression so you can take control of your life and your body once more. Being free of a heavy cloud of depression will make exercising and managing your diet much more effortless.

A few changes in habits and lifestyle can make losing weight more possible. Even if you’re doing everything right when it comes to eating and exercise, there can still be some key factors that make keeping that extra weight off hard. The most important thing to know is never to give up; making mistakes is okay. Once you’ve figured out the habits that work for you, you’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to keep up with exercise and diet and keep your weight down.

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Final Thoughts on the Factors That May Block You When You Want to Lose Weight

Trying to lose weight for optimal health is a commendable decision. But it’s essential to recognize that the path isn’t always straightforward. As highlighted in the article, there are numerous factors, both internal and external, that can hinder your progress. From disrupted sleep patterns to the silent effects of light pollution, from the mental battles of negative self-talk to the physical challenges posed by certain medications, each factor plays a significant role in determining the success of your weight loss efforts.

It’s crucial to remember that weight loss is not just about diet and exercise. It’s a holistic process encompassing mental, emotional, and environmental aspects. The journey is as much about understanding and managing these factors as it is about counting calories or steps.

Moreover, it’s essential to approach weight loss with patience and compassion. Negative self-talk, for instance, can be a significant roadblock. Instead of being hard on oneself, adopting a mindset of perseverance and self-love can make all the difference. Remember, setbacks are natural, and every individual’s journey is unique.

So, while the road to weight loss can be riddled with challenges, understanding these obstacles is the first step to overcoming them. With determination, awareness, and the proper support, anyone can navigate these challenges and achieve their weight loss goals. Remember, it’s not about perfection but progress. Stay informed, stay positive, and most importantly, believe in yourself.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

8 Bizarre Reasons People Have Ended Their Relationship

Have you noticed all the relationship troubles that seem prevalent today? Is it a sign of the times or shifting societal norms? Good question, and you are not the only one to ask this.

“Kids today don’t want to get married. Too many of their friends have been married and divorced already. They just don’t believe in it.” – Wally Schirra (1923-2007), Former American Astronaut

Not believing in something is certainly a good reason not to do it.

Take marriage for example. Most consider it to be a serious thing. If, in good faith, someone is investing years of their time (and other things) into someone else, is it not reasonable to expect some reciprocity?

Not for some people. Problems with compromise? No marriage for you. Long-standing commitment issues? Marriage probably isn’t the best idea.

Don’t want a traditional life? Check. Don’t want kids? Check. Don’t care about societal norms? Check. There isn’t anything wrong with these viewpoints. Rationally, one could argue that we need more people who think the same way (see: unsustainable population growth.)

What happens when people like this do get married? Predictably, the outcome isn’t good in most cases. Considering the national divorce rate hovers around 50 percent, their odds of making it aren’t too favorable.

The saddest part is that they brought someone else along for the ride. As you’ll see in the following cases – which range from hilarious to heartbreaking – there is plenty of evidence to support the notion that marriage isn’t for everyone. Such tales also serve as a reminder that we should remain cautious about who it is we let into our lives.

Here are eight such cases:

1. “I’ll bet my wife on it.”

A Russian man, after losing all his money on multiple poker games, wagered his lovely wife. His night just kept getting worse (we think, who knows?) when he lost the ridiculous bet.

“It was humiliating, and I was utterly ashamed. But at soon as my ex-husband did that I knew I had to leave him. Sergey was a very handsome, charming man and I am very happy with him, even if he did ‘win’ me in a poker game,” said the (literal) trophy wife.

2. “I’ll show you Frozen.”

In an utterly bizarre story, a Japanese man apparently thought the movie Frozen was overrated.

The man turned to his wife and asked, “Did you really think it was that good?” Apparently, that’s when the Frozen fanatic came out. She left him soon afterwards.

3. “You don’t understand, she is possessed.”

In the Catholic religion, demonic possession (and exorcism) is viewed as a reality. But even the most ardent Catholic would check this story twice.

An Italian man claimed that his wife “had displayed ‘inexplicable behavior’ since 2007,” according to a Milan divorce court’s records. Allegedly, the woman levitated, threw fits, and even tossed church pews. The divorce was granted. No word on a revived Exorcist franchise.

4. “You’re just too…nice…”

This one is quite sad. On the T.V. show Divorce Court, a woman by the name of Rashida Lucas divorced her husband because he was just “too nice.” Apparently, the ex-husband also cooked so well that she gained weight and said, “I love you” too much.

We don’t think he’s going to have a problem finding someone else. Poor guy.

5. “Uhh…I want out.”

Given the previous story, this one serves as an appropriate follow-up. A 34-year old man filed for divorce days after seeing his new bride without makeup. Following a dip in the ocean, the unfortunate woman’s makeup washed off. The man did not like what he saw underneath, and that was that.

Stay classy, bro.

6. “It’s not you, it’s your *ahem* other thing.”

A Nigerian woman and mother of three filed for divorce one week into her second marriage, citing her new husband’s large member. In Islamic tradition, it is customary for the woman to be welcomed into the groom’s home for a short period. Unfortunately, the stay would be shorter than expected.

“When he came, we had sex but the experience was a nightmare. Instead of enjoying the sex, it turned out to be something else because his penis was too big,” said Aisha Dannupawa to a Sharia court. Divorce was granted on the grounds that the dowry and money spent during the courtship were repaid by Ms. Dannupawa.

7. “You voted for him?”

It’s fair to say that Democrats do not like Donald Trump. Some hate the guy.

73-year old Gale McCormick fits snugly into the latter group. Upon learning her husband of 22 years voted for Mr. Trump, McCormick filed for divorce posthaste.

“It totally undid me that he could vote for Trump,” adding that she felt “betrayed.” “I realized how far I had gone in my life to accept things I would have never accepted when I was younger.”

That’s a way to make a statement.

8. “It’s the money, honey.”

After a seemingly happy 25-year marriage, Denise Rossi suddenly filed for divorce. Quite an inexplicable act for a woman who shared a toothbrush with her ex-beau.

Turns out that 11 days before filing for divorce, Rossi won $1.3 million in the California Lottery. Of course, she failed to disclose the winnings during the divorce proceedings – not smart.

Then, oh-so-sweet justice prevailed. The presiding judge found Ms. Rossi guilty of violating state asset disclosure laws and awarded the entire sum to her ex-husband. Check and mate.

References:
http://articles.latimes.com/1999/nov/17/news/mn-34537

http://www.businessinsider.com/californian-woman-divorces-husband-because-he-voted-for-donald-trump-2017-2
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4398776/Italian-man-divorces-claiming-wife-possessed-devil.html#ixzz4hB5l7tAB
http://gulfnews.com/news/uae/society/bride-dumped-for-not-looking-pretty-without-make-up-1.1913619
http://www.rd.com/culture/crazy-reasons-divorce/
http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=59893
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U93BBNq5A64

5 Traits Men Love About Women (More Than Good Looks)

Everyone appreciates someone with good looks. Appearance isn’t everything, though. There are things that men find particularly appealing in women that go beyond their looks. Of course, many men are drawn in first by what they see on the outside. On the other hand, some men become attracted to women by things other than their looks.

Some men find these particular traits more appealing than their appearance altogether. If you’re wondering what draws men to you – or, even if you’re wondering what you can do to attract more positive men into your life – consider enhancing or working on these traits within yourself. They’re all positive. So you’ll feel better about yourself, and your relationships will benefit!

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.” – Groucho Marx

5 TRAITS MEN LOVE ABOUT WOMEN (MORE THAN GOOD LOOKS)

These are the things that matter most…

women

1. GOOD PERSONALITY

This seems like a no-brainer because everyone likes someone with a good personality. However, a charming personality with a sense of humor can supersede men’s interest in outward appearances. Connecting with someone is a basic human need, and having a personality that meshes with your own is a great way to form a real and lasting connection.

A sense of humor goes hand-in-hand with a good personality. Being able to laugh at yourself (or him) – in a good-natured manner will make the both of you feel good and more comfortable around one another. If you’re laid back, like to joke, and love to laugh, many men will be charmed, and you’ll start forming a good connection.

2. GOOD LISTENER

Listening requires more than just hearing what a person is saying and waiting for your turn to enter the conversation. An active listener takes in what their partner is saying, and processes it, and offers feedback and conversation on the words that were said to them. Some men have trouble with this, too, but all men appreciate a woman who is a good listener.

When you demonstrate active listening skills, your partner will be more likely to reciprocate because they feel they’re being heard. Being a good listener will benefit your love life and all areas of your familial and spiritual relationships.

3. COMPROMISING

Men appreciate women who are willing to compromise and negotiate on an issue. Staying rigid in something is a good way to cause stress and tension in any relationship, especially a romantic one. Compromising doesn’t mean giving up your stance altogether, however. It also doesn’t mean conceding to everything your man wants!

Compromising is working together to find a solution that benefits both parties – and compromising works both ways! Compromising benefits a relationship in the long run and gives you the skills to communicate and work through your problems.

4. SPONTANEITY

If you’re the type of woman who needs to make lists and schedules and have everything planned for the second, you might want to consider loosening up just a bit. Being able to roll with the punches and take mishaps in stride is a trait many men adore in a woman.

A spontaneous spirit is also about random acts of love, kindness, and appreciation. It’s also about enjoying when your man plans a surprise vacation or shows up with flowers at your office. Being spontaneous is one of the ways to keep all the spark alive in a relationship.

5. ACCOMPLISHED

Women who own what they do and proudly wear their accomplishments are the kind of women that men find attractive regardless of outward appearance. This doesn’t mean you have to have a prestigious job or an impressive CV – it just means that you know what you want and aren’t afraid to go out and get it. Being happy with who you are and feeling fulfilled in your life is enough to pique a man’s interest.

There’s nothing more appealing than a woman who knows who she is and what she wants out of life, regardless of what that may be. Knowing that you’re capable of achieving your dreams will also make you feel good! Being confident in who you are will boost how you feel, and be a positive force in all your relationships.

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FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE TRAITS MEN SEEK IN A WOMAN (THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR GOOD LOOKS)

Men may be notorious in media and pop culture for only caring about looks – but that couldn’t be further from the truth. There are plenty of things about women that men adore, and they’re all traits that can be found in anyone, regardless of gender! Recognize the things in yourself that make you attractive beyond your appearance. Once you’re able to harness them, you’ll be irresistible to the men in your life, and you’ll attract more positive influences to surround yourself with.

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