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20 Foods That Cause Acid Reflux

May 27, 2017 by Chris Butler

Many people struggle with the agony of acid reflux. The regurgitation of sour food and burning sensation travels from your chest, through the throat, and into your mouth. IBS treatments are often sought by those experiencing similar digestive discomfort, helping to manage symptoms like bloating, cramping, and irregular bowel movements.

Like most people, you’ve probably asked yourself why this uncomfortable feeling occurs.

First, we will review the science behind acid reflux. At the inlet of your stomach is a ring of muscle, the lower esophageal sphincter, or LES. Most of the time, when we eat, this valve closes as soon as food moves through it. When the LES doesn’t close completely or if it opens too often, the acid produced by your stomach can move upwards to the esophagus. This “trespassing” of acid is what causes heartburn.

The common risk factors for acid reflux disease – a chronic condition called gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), are:

Consuming large meals
Being overweight or obese
Certain drinks, such as alcohol, coffee, tea, or carbonated drinks
Smoking
OTC and prescription medications, including aspirin, ibuprofen, blood pressure medications, or muscle relaxers
Eating certain foods

It is this last risk factor that we focus on in this article.

20 Foods to Avoid if You Experience Acid Reflux Regularly

Here are seven foods (and drinks) that cause acid reflux.

1 – Chocolate and acid reflux

Don’t kill the messenger, chocolate lovers: this delicious treat may cause more reflux than any other food. Here’s why:

Common ingredients in chocolate, including stimulants, caffeine, and theobromine, may induce reflex.
It is high in fat.
Chocolate contains cocoa, a bean known to produce a reflux response.

Dark chocolate doesn’t produce the same amount of reflux episodes, but the difference is marginal.

2 – Carbonated Drinks

Yep, you knew this one was coming. Carbonated beverages – including our beloved Coke and Pepsi – are among the leading causes of acid reflux.

Here’s why carbonated beverages are harmful to acid reflux:

Carbonated bubbles (culprits of that “burp” reflex) expand inside of the stomach, which can stimulate a reflux response.
Almost all sodas are acidic, and acidic ingredients contribute to reflux.

The worst offenders? Diet Pepsi, Coca-Cola, and Tab.

3 – Alcohol

Booze may not be too acidic, but nearly every form – beer, liquor, and wine – can bring about acid reflux.

Alcohol can produce an acid reflux response by relaxing the pathway that adjoins the esophagus and stomach. Of course, this isn’t the type of “relaxing” we envision when imbibing – and it can produce some nasty reflux.

4 – High-fat Dairy

Let’s get this out of the way: all high-fat foods are among the main culprits of reflux. This little factoid includes any kind of high-fat dairy product: cheese, milk, butter, yogurt, and ice cream.

Low-fat is a better alternative but can still instigate reflux. The best advice is to consume dairy on a seldom basis.

5 – Caffeine

Medical professionals claim that up to three 8-ounce cups of coffee is fine for health. Not bad, right? But if you’re a fiend for the java – you are sending reflux an RSVP.

Chamomile tea is a healthier option than a cup or two of green tea per day.

Or you can do what most of us coffee lovers will probably do and roll the dice.

6 – Fried Foods

Fried foods are (gasp!) high in fat! French fries, fried chicken, and fried fish – basically anything that is both fried and delicious – are among the common culprits of reflux.

The high-fat content in fried foods makes them among the top causes of heartburn; the chest pain that results from acid reflux.

7 – Meats

Like fried foods and dairy products, the high-fat content in meats makes them an instigator of acid reflux. Meats such as beef, lamb, and pork also take longer to pass through the stomach during digestion – and increase the risk of a reflux response.

The better alternative is to choose lean cuts of meat – chicken, turkey, tenderloin beef and pork, extra-lean ground beef, and Canadian bacon, for example – and limit meat as an entrée to once per week.

8 – Chili powder, cayenne, black and white pepper

Spices make your food taste great, but too much of something good can come back to haunt you as acid reflux. These spices have a reputation for causing uncomfortable heartburn. This is because they raise the acid levels in your stomach. Try reducing how much you put in your foods when you cook if you like spices. Other seasonings that can cause acid reflux include:

Crushed red pepper
Tabasco sauce
Curry spices
Cinnamon
Hot paprika
Ginger
Cloves

9 – Pizza creates a perfect acid reflux storm

Pizza is the public enemy number one when it comes to acid reflux. The gooey cheese, garlicky tomato sauce, and spicy pepperoni all add to a lot of heartburn. Pizza is also high in fat, a natural trigger for GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). If you suffer from acid reflux, pizza is one food you need to skip.

10 – Fatty foods that can cause acid reflux

Fatty foods naturally slow you down. Your body digests them slower than other food, causing them to sit in your stomach longer. Because they stay in your stomach so long, your body makes more acid. Fatty foods also cause your esophageal sphincter to open, which causes acid reflux. Rich foods that cause heartburn include:

Processed baked goods
Bacon
French fries
Saturated and trans fats
Fatty sauces or gravies
Creamy salad dressings
Potato chips
Buttered popcorn

11 – Acid reflux and peppermint

Peppermint can be soothing to your tummy, but it can have the opposite effect on individuals who suffer from acid reflux. Peppermint relaxes muscles in your gut that affect digestion. It also relaxes the sphincter muscle, which separates your stomach from your esophagus. All of this combined triggers painful acid reflux.

Even sipping on peppermint tea or chewing peppermint gum may set off a bout of heartburn.

12 – Garlic

Garlic, especially when it’s raw, causes heartburn even in people who don’t usually suffer from acid reflux. This pungent vegetable has many attractive benefits, but garlic is high on the list of acid producers. You may love garlic, but it won’t love you back. It’s best to skip this flavorful vegetable to avoid the pain of acid reflux.

13 – Onions

Onions and garlic are members of the Allium family. They’re related to shallots and leeks. Raw onions are acid producers that cause heartburn for many people. Even dried onions stir up this painful condition. Onions are probably one of the best vegetables to add extra flavor to your cooking, but if you suffer from heartburn, it’s best to skip these pungent veggies.

14 – Tomatoes

Juicy and sweet tomatoes are super high in acid. Eating tomatoes in any form can lead to heartburn. Tomatoey foods like ketchup, salsa, spaghetti sauce, or even a sliced raw tomato will give you acid reflux. Replace the tomatoes on your pasta with other toppings such as fresh herbs and parmesan cheese.

15 – Pineapple

It may be sweet and juicy, but pineapple isn’t for those with a sensitive stomach. It’s highly acidic, so it’s high on the food list to avoid if you suffer from acid reflux. If you must eat pineapple, stick with a small amount. Some people suggest eating small amounts of dried pineapple because it’s less acidic than fresh.

16 – Oranges or grapefruits

Most citrus fruits are high in acid. If you love citrus fruits, you can avoid experiencing acid reflux by eating a small amount of this fruit in the morning. Avoid eating near bedtime. When you eat food close to your bedtime, you’ll get heartburn. As you lay down, gravity works against the food traveling through your digestive tract, forcing bile and acids into your esophagus. This position causes acid reflux. You can skip the citrus fruits and eat other fruits that don’t cause acid reflux, including:

Apples
Bananas
Melon
Berries

17 – Salt causes acid reflux

Salt is a prime culprit for acid reflux. It’s not fully understood how salt triggers acid reflux symptoms, but individuals with a diet higher in salt usually end up with acid reflux. Be sure to read your food labels to check for the sodium amounts each food contains. Steer clear of overly-processed foods. Choose fresh foods. Also, find other ways to give flavor to your food, such as herbs or broths.

18 – Butter

Fatty foods like butter trigger heartburn. Fat makes food taste good, but it’s hard on your gut. Try finding alternative healthier fats in your cooking, such as olive oil or grapeseed oil. Steam, grill, or broil your foods instead of frying or roasting them in fat. Add herbs to your food for extra flavor.

19 – Acid reflux and mashed potatoes

Mashed potatoes seem harmless enough, but this food is a well-known trigger for painful acid reflux. The potatoes aren’t to blame, but the butter and dairy products you add to create the creamy mashed potatoes are the problem. If you love mashed potatoes, you can make a lower-fat version with skim milk and imitation butter to avoid acid reflux.

20 – Candy

Candy is sweet, but if you suffer from acid reflux, its sweet taste can quickly lead to painful heartburn. Sugar is the culprit that leads to heartburn. Plus, many candies contain Vitamin C for flavoring. This vitamin triggers painful heartburn. Skip the candy. If you have a sweet tooth, try eating blueberries or raspberries. They will satisfy your desire for sweets without giving you painful heartburn.

Final Thoughts On Avoiding The Foods That Cause Acid Reflux

Acid reflux is a painful reminder your body isn’t happy with something you ate. You get it from spicy foods, fatty foods, sweet foods high in acid like tomatoes, and even some fresh fruits like oranges and grapefruits. The bile in your esophagus and the painful burning sensation in your chest often flare up at night. Blame it on gravity because your food can’t travel through your digestive tract when you’re lying down. Hopefully, if you suffer from acid reflux, this list of food to avoid will help ease the pain you experience. Your good health is worth giving up a few foods.

10 Foods To Avoid If You Have Arthritis

May 27, 2017 by Power of Positivity

“When you have arthritis, your body is in an inflammatory state. What you eat may not only increase inflammation, it can also set you up for other chronic conditions such as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes.” – The Arthritis Foundation.

“…I am a 43-year old wife and mother of two grade-schoolers and have had severe rheumatoid arthritis for nearly 10 year Things that most people take for granted, for example sleeping, bathing, brushing one’s teeth, getting dressed, making meals, and even driving a car, are extremely challenging for me.”

Indeed, individuals fortunate enough to avoid arthritis take some things for granted. As this brave mother just explained, her symptoms make daily activities difficult.

Contrary to popular belief, arthritis involves many symptoms: loss of motion, joint pain, stiffness, and swelling are the most common.

Here are some quick facts about this complex disease:

There are more than 100 forms of arthritis and closely related diseases.
One in every four arthritis patients “say it causes severe pain (seven or higher on a zero to 10-point scale.”
The most common types of arthritis are osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis (RA), psoriatic arthritis (PsA), fibromyalgia, and gout.

The Role Food Plays in Arthritis

Certain foods stimulate an inflammatory response and suppress an inflammatory response. The context of this article focuses on the foods to avoid with arthritis – and some suggested alternatives.

For individuals not diagnosed with arthritis, “research suggests that including anti-inflammatory foods in your diet and limiting foods that trigger joint pain” may help ward off the disease.” More scientifically-valid research cites obesity as a primary risk factor. Relatedly, the consumption of inflammatory foods correlates with obesity rates.

In this article, we’ll discuss ten foods to avoid arthritis. We’ll also provide some suggestions on what foods to eat instead.

Let’s get going!

Ten Foods to Avoid if You Have Arthritis

1. Gluten and Wheat

Gluten and wheat both produce an inflammatory response, particularly in folks who are intolerant to either. Many studies have linked a leaky gut – or increased gut permeability – to joint pain.

A leaky gut allows toxins and waste to enter the bloodstream via the intestines; these harmful byproducts are a threat, and the body initiates an immune response. The immune response is what leads to inflammation, sometimes targeting areas in and around the joints.

2. Dairy

Many dairy products contain a type of protein called casein. Per a study conducted by the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, casein protein may irritate the tissue around the joints. Of course, joint irritation always results in inflammation within the surrounding area.

3. Corn Oil

Corn oil or, to be more precise, any food with high doses of omega-6 fatty acids (baked goods or baked snacks among them) can produce inflammation. It is quite easy to overindulge in this fatty acid because many foods contain it.

Corn oil isn’t the only industrial oil to refrain from consuming. All oils derived from seeds – cottonseed, canola, grapeseed, soybean, safflower, rice bran, and sunflower oil, should also be avoided.

4. Fried and Processed Foods

Per a study conducted at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, reducing consumption of fried and processed foods “can reduce inflammation and help restore the body’s natural defenses regardless of the age of health status.”

The same study also provides dietary recommendations to prevent other diseases.

5. Salt and Preservatives

Many foods produced today include excessive amounts of salt and preservatives; the former makes some foods more palatable, and the latter artificially extend a product’s shelf life. Regardless, consuming too much salt and preservatives may produce inflammation within the joints.

Prepared foods, including the frozen and microwavable varieties, are often loaded with salt, preservatives, and additives.

6. ‘AGEs’

There’s no relation to the number of years you’ve lived, despite the name. AGE is an advanced glycation end product acronym – a toxic byproduct resulting from fried, grilled, heated, or pasteurized foods.

Specific proteins in the body are “attacked” upon consuming AGE foods. Predictably, this stimulates an autoimmune response. Cytokines are inflammatory messengers released by the autoimmune system to protect against further damage caused by AGEs and other harmful agents. Cytokines directed to areas within or around joints exacerbate arthritis symptoms by increasing inflammation.

7. Certain vegetables

Surprising to see that some veggies are not recommended, huh?

The plant name for these vegetables is Solanaceae, and they contain solanine – a type of compound that produces adverse physiological reactions in arthritis patients. This means that consuming eggplant, peppers, potatoes, and tomatoes can worsen arthritis pain.

If you’re a fan of sweet potatoes, here’s some great news: they’re not within this class of vegetables and are okay to eat.

8. Sugar

Nobody likes having to give up the occasional sugary treat. But processed sugars (similar to AGEs) release cytokines that stimulate inflammation.

As many of you already know, sugar is an “umbrella term” for other types of derivative ingredients. So avoid ingredients that end in “ose,” such as fructose, glucose, and sucrose, among others. Just make sure you’re reading the label!

9. Refined Carbohydrates

Refined carbohydrates, mainly white flour products, white potatoes, white rice, and most cereals, are high-glycemic index (HGI) foods. HGI foods incite the production of byproducts (including AGEs), which worsens inflammation.

Additionally, per an article published by Scientific American, refined carbs “may increase the risk of obesity, diabetes, and heart disease more than fat does.” As mentioned, obesity is among the primary risk factors of arthritis.

10. Alcohol and Tobacco

Alcohol and tobacco use impact the development of certain arthritis types. Per healthline.com, “Studies have shown that environmental factors play a part in who develops (rheumatoid arthritis) and that smoking is a big risk factor.”

Thus, a link exists between levels of alcohol use and the chances of developing gout.

10 Foods to Help You Beat Arthritis

Here are some of the best food types for arthritis, including examples of each type.

1. Omega-3-rich fish; herring, mackerel, salmon, and tuna

Omega3 fatty acids reduce inflammation in your body. Therefore, eating omega3 rich foods can ease the side effects of conditions such as inflammatory bowel disease (IBS) or rheumatoid arthritis by regulating your body’s autoimmune response and slowing down the disease. Eat a 3 to 6 ounce serving of one of an omega3 rich fatty fish two to four times a week for the best anti-inflammatory effect for your body. Grill or steam these fish for the best flavors. Add spices or lemon to add a boost of freshness.

2. Soybeans; tofu, and edamame

Soy products are effective in the lowering of inflammation in conditions like arthritis, cardiovascular diseases, and diabetes. Many people with Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) change to a plant-based diet, along with soy proteins, to help fight symptoms of pain and discomfort caused by this disease. Soy’s anti-inflammatory properties make it essential for anyone who has arthritis. Drink soy milk on your breakfast cereal to start fighting early morning inflammation that is common after a night’s sleep.

3. Omega-3 foods such as almonds, walnuts, and pistachios

Walnuts-These meaty-tasting seeds make great toppings for salads and other side dishes. Walnuts have the highest amount of omega3 fatty acids of all nuts. Eating walnuts can help decrease inflammation caused by arthritis, lower cholesterol, and blood pressure.
Pistachios-When you eat pistachios, you boost your levels of vitamin E and A, both of which help lower your inflammation. Sprinkle them on salads for extra protein and flavor.
Almonds-Almonds contain a lot of fiber. They’re also an excellent source of Vitamin E, which lowers your arthritis and other inflammatory disease markers. Add sliced almonds to vegetable dishes, fruits, or sprinkle on top of salads.

4. Cherries

Cherries contain vitamin C and polyphenols. Rich in antioxidants, cherries can help slow down the progression of chronic inflammatory diseases like arthritis. Eating sweet or tart cherries improves your health, preventing oxidative stress, and inflammation in your body. You can eat cherries frozen or fresh. On the other hand, you can chop up some dried cherries and add them to your morning oatmeal. Add tart cherries juice to seltzer water for a refreshing drink.

5. Broccoli

Broccoli is a cruciferous veggie similar to Brussels sprouts, kale, and cauliflower. Rich in antioxidants that lower inflammation. These aromatic vegetables drive inflammation out of your body because of nuclear factor kappa B, moles that remove the inflammation.

6. Green tea

Green tea contains properties that can help individuals who suffer from inflammatory diseases. It’s important to drink green tea moderately for the best results and benefits.

7. Citrus fruits; grapefruits, limes, and oranges

Rich in vitamin C and other anti-inflammatory antioxidants, citrus fruits are helpful for people who have rheumatoid arthritis.

8. Whole grains, brown rice, oatmeal

Whole grains have more minerals and vitamins. Because they’re plants, they have a lot of germ and brand, both inflammation-fighting foods. Eat whole-wheat pasta, bread, and other whole grains such as brown rice and bulghur.

9. Red kidney beans and pinto beans

Both are excellent sources of phytonutrients and fiber, which help relieve inflammation. Try to include beans in your meals at least twice a week for the most benefit.

10. Garlic

Garlic and garlic oil acts as inflammatory agents, helping reduce inflammation of the joints and muscles. Eating garlic also reduces the risk of cartilage damage because of arthritis.

Final Thoughts on Foods to Eat and Avoid for Coping with Arthritis

It’s possible to eat your way to better health. Why not try adding these delicious natural foods to your weekly menu to ease the discomfort and prevent further damage caused by arthritis?

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Things To Never Do When You Can’t Sleep At Night

May 27, 2017 by Power of Positivity

While lengthy, the introductory quote can be simplified as follows: habits you form are either conducive or disruptive to your sleep each night- any disturbance to regular, routine sleeping patterns can damage your mental and physical health. “Regular, routine sleeping patterns” is the body’s circadian rhythm. Nearly every living thing on earth has a natural sleep cycle – a survival mechanism born from evolution.

This article explains habits and behaviors to avoid if you have trouble falling and staying asleep. (As someone in this situation, I can attest to the importance of abstaining from certain behaviors regarding quality sleep.)

Before we begin, it is essential to understand the other causes of sleep disturbances. The last thing we want is for our readers to ignore signs that could implicate other health problems.

With that said, here are some other causes of sleep disturbances:

Medical: allergies, anxiety, depression, gastrointestinal problems, arthritis, asthma, neurological disorders, thyroid problems, and acute or chronic pain.
Medications: allergies, asthma, birth control, cold and flu, depression, heart conditions, hypertension, and thyroid conditions.
Underlying sleep disorders: sleep apnea, restless legs syndrome (RLS, periodic limb movement disorder (PLMD), and narcolepsy.

Here are ten habits or behaviors to avoid when you can’t sleep:

“Poor sleep habits can precede insomnia symptoms and various sleep disorders, or your bad habits could be symptoms of something deeper. Regardless, chronic bad sleep habits can create a residual sleep deprivation and carve deep behaviors you could struggle to free yourself from.” – Insomnia.net

1. Going to sleep too early each night

About 90 percent of insomniacs fall asleep too early during the day. Hitting the mattress too soon is often the result of staying up past regular bedtime hours – and this throws your sleep/wake cycle off balance.

Rectifying this problem is not always easy. A good first step is to reserve the times spent in your bed to “wind down” or sleeping hours.

2. Going to sleep at different times on the weekend

Circadian rhythm is a term you’ll see a lot of in this article; because, when it comes to establishing healthy sleeping habits, this internal body clock must be “set” and maintained. Doctors who specialize in sleep medicine emphasize going to bed and waking up at the same time every day as perhaps the best sleeping habit.

3. Not counting your caffeine

Many of us love our morning (or afternoon) cup(s) of Joe. The mistake that many of us make is not counting our caffeine intake. General consensus is that a healthy adult can consume up to 400 milligrams (mg) of caffeine – or about 3 cups of coffee.

Another mistake some people make with their caffeine…

4. Not considering caffeine’s “half-life”

Caffeine, like all drugs, has a half-life – or number of hours that 50 percent of the substance remains in your system. Caffeine has an average half-life of five to six hours, so it isn’t a good idea to drink soda, coffee, or tea during late afternoon or evening hours.

5. Thinking you need ‘x’ hours of sleep

The hours of sleep we need are highly individualized. The National Sleep Foundation (NSF) recommends 7 to 9 hours of sleep for healthy adults – and this number seems about right for most. However, for some adults, this recommended amount is too much or too little.

A good barometer might be when you can fall asleep quickly and wake up without an alarm clock.

6. Using electronics before bed

Guilty as charged for many of us. We love our gadgets, but they’re counterproductive to sleep for a couple of reasons. First, playing with our e-toys stimulates the brain (we’ll get to that). Second, modern electronics emit a particular type of light that disrupts the natural action of melatonin – our brains “sleep” chemical.

7. Getting out of bed during the night

This one’s hotly debated. Some experts say, “do some light activity,” still others: “lay there until you nod off again.” As with hours of sleep, whether to stay in bed or get up appears individualistic.

The solution: do what’s best for you. However, if getting out of bed and doing certain activities heightens your awareness, it’s probably best to lay in bed and rest.

8. Doing something stimulating during the late hours

We get bored easily, even when our body tells us to rest or sleep. That said, engaging your brain (read: Facebook, Twitter, or mobile gaming) is probably the worst thing you can do – as you are almost guaranteed an entirely lousy night’s sleep by doing so.

Mindfulness works wonders in this need for stimulation. Please close your eyes, take deep breaths, and count each breath, inhale = 1, exhale = 2, and so on…it works!)

9. Having no wind-down time

Our brain’s transition from active to relaxed to sleeping is supposed to be a natural one. When we’ve changed our natural sleep/wake cycle, we must “recalibrate our clock.”

An effective way to do this is to allocate 60 minutes for a wind-down period. One prominent sleep professional recommends the following routine:

- Set the alarm for 60 minutes before bedtime.
- Spend the first 20 minutes finishing up any “must do’s”; the next 20 minutes on sleep hygiene (brushing teeth, showering, sleeping attire), and the last 20 minutes doing something relaxing (reading a book, deep breathing, meditation).
- After the alarm goes off, it’s night-night time.

10. “Clock-watching”

Please don’t have a digital alarm clock facing your bed’s direction; this is especially important if you’re having difficulty falling and staying asleep. Why? Because if you wake up in the middle of a bad night’s sleep and see 3:15 AM staring back at you in bright red digits, you’ll immediately begin mental math about how many hours of sleep you could “still get” (but probably won’t).

The above-described scenario releases adrenaline and cortisol in your brain, which, you guessed it, promotes wakefulness.

Final Thoughts on Falling Asleep at Night

Achieving restful and rejuvenating sleep is essential for our overall well-being, and avoiding certain habits and behaviors can significantly improve our sleep quality. The wisdom shared here offers valuable insights into fostering healthy sleep habits.

By acknowledging the importance of maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, we can sync with our circadian rhythms, promoting a more balanced sleep/wake cycle. Keeping track of caffeine intake and understanding its half-life can also play a pivotal role in ensuring a restful night.

Recognizing that the ideal amount of sleep varies from person to person reinforces the need to listen to our bodies and find our own unique balance. Moreover, limiting electronic device usage before bedtime can help create an environment conducive to relaxation and the natural production of sleep-inducing melatonin.

The decision to stay in bed or get up during nighttime wakefulness remains a subjective choice, but it is essential to prioritize what works best for individual comfort and restfulness. Avoiding stimulating activities during late hours and allowing for a dedicated wind-down period can facilitate a smooth transition from wakefulness to sleep.

Incorporating these habits into our daily routines can lead to a more restful and fulfilling night’s sleep, allowing us to wake up refreshed and ready to tackle the challenges of a new day. So, take these tips to heart, and may your journey toward better sleep be filled with peaceful nights and energized mornings.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Reasons People Have Toxic Relationships (And Ways to Reverse It)

May 27, 2017 by Power of Positivity

The Dictionary refers to toxic behavior as:

of, pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin or poison: a toxic condition.
acting as or having the effect of a poison; poisonous: a toxic drug.
causing unpleasant feelings; harmful or malicious: a toxic boyfriend; toxic criticism.
pertaining to or nothing debt that will probably not be repaid: toxic mortgages.
pertaining to or noting a financial instrument or another asset that has no value or an unknown value because there is no market for it: toxic mortgage-backed securities.

An adjective is a “work the describes, identifies, or further defines a noun or pronoun.”

No, this is not an English lesson; it’s something much deeper, honest, and more important. To be honest, this piece is written to “check” those who may be acting in a toxic way to their partner – and, more importantly, provide guidance on what to do about it (if you’re so willing).

Nor is this an article to take lightly. Perhaps you are on the receiving end of someone’s toxic behavior. You’re no dummy; you understand that someone has been harmful – and when you feel it, it hurts.

This article is intended to help both sides. We hope that something constructive comes out if this knowledge and that the healing process can begin.

“Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.” – Bruce Lee

Here are five signs of toxic behavior in your relationship (and ways to reverse them)

1. Insecurity is toxic

Insecure partners have the tendency to harbor a deep sense of self-doubt. This self-doubt often leads to the person overanalyzing everything in a relationship, from a few uttered words to their partner’s body language.

Needless to say, if you are unable to feel some semblance of self-confidence, it’s quite likely that your insecurities will quickly become apparent. These insecurities manifest in your day-to-day conversations, negative body language, and other dramatic behaviors.

Suggestions:

Try to enjoy the moment, trusting that your partner is doing the same.
When you’re beginning to feel insecure, cite positive affirmations that emphasize your self-worth.
Remember that you’re worthy of love. Trust that your partner sees this.

2. A hot temper

This is one that many of us have either experienced or have been a witness. People that are hot-headed continue to have cycles of anger, regret, and shame. Too often, this cycle involves impulsive behavior directed towards your partner – and hurtful words that you come to lament sincerely.

Partners with a hot temper are difficult to get along with. Their other half may feel the need to “walk on eggshells” to avoid triggering another temper tantrum.

Suggestions:

If you’re hotheaded, you must develop a sense of self-awareness. Without this essential skill, nothing else will help much.
Know when your temperature “scale” is going up, and do something – anything that relaxes your mind. Do this away from your partner until you’ve calmed down.
If needed, research anger-management options.

3. Problems are left unsolved

More specifically, allowing problems that you created go unsolved. Obviously, this abdication of responsibility is unacceptable in any situation – but the repercussions within the context of a relationship are often very severe.

Our brain has developed something called the negativity bias. We’re inclined to remember the bad more than the good – a function of the brain that doesn’t bode well in bad relationships for obvious reasons.

Suggestions:

First, be honest with yourself and admit if a pattern of “problem-creating” exists. Be specific about the underlying causes (e.g. money, coming home late, neglecting duties, etc.)
Accept responsibility.
Make a plan to change the behavior, and reiterate this plan to your partner.

4. Addiction to technology/social media

We all love our smartphones, tablets, and laptops. But some people prioritize their relationship with tech above that of their partner – and this can create some serious problems. As it is, between work and other responsibilities, couples don’t have much time together already.

Any ambiguity in a relationship isn’t healthy. If the relationship’s trust level is still developing, constant use of social media can cause jealousy and doubt. The presence of ambiguity, jealousy, and doubt usually doesn’t bode well for a relationship’s future.

Suggestions:

If you don’t have one already, make a schedule implementing 30-minute increments. Use this schedule to determine times to “get your fix.”
Save your tech use for the weekend.
Don’t publish personal details of your relationship on social media.

5. Conflict avoidance

Some people are naturally more conflict-averse than others. Some people are direct, and approach conflict in the same manner. On the other hand, others are too shy or introverted to deal with conflict at all. That said, one aspect of life where this last approach is not okay is in a relationship.

An unwillingness to approach conflict like a mature adult (no matter how uncomfortable) sends a message to your partner that engaging you is only possible under certain conditions. Of course, this very notion is ridiculous. Things must be dealt with sooner or later, and it’s best to approach the situation maturely.

Suggestions:

Explain to your partner that you’re conflict-avoidant, and it’s something on which you’re working.
Understand that it’s okay to be uncomfortable with conflict – many people are. If this is your disposition, research ways to handle conflict that suits your personality.
Don’t turn your back on your partner in the event of a conflict. Instead, just tell them you need to think a bit. When you’re ready, approach your partner and have a conversation.

References:
Dictionary.com (2017). Definitions: toxic. Retrieved May 8, 2017, from http://www.dictionary.com/browse/toxic
Lewis, A. (2017). 17 Signs You’re Actually the Toxic One in the Relationship. Retrieved May 8, 2017, from http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/signs-toxic-one-relationship/
Vaish, A., Grossmann, T., & Woodward, A. (2008). Not all emotions are created equal: The negativity bias in social-emotional development. Psychological Bulletin, 134(3), 383-403. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.134.3.383

11 Traits of A Quality Woman

May 27, 2017 by Power of Positivity

There are amazing, quality women everywhere, but this isn’t always apparent when we’re in the dating phase. In fact, dating one woman after another can lead someone to believe that quality women are few and far between. (The same can be said for dating men as well.)

If you’re “on the market,” it’s likely that you’ll meet and interact with all different types of women – and most of them are good-hearted. Sure, a few bad eggs will rear their not-so-lovely heads, and this too often leads to stereotyping. Intelligent as human beings are, many of us are rather clueless about the opposite sex.

This article focuses on some of the common traits of quality women. We hope that the content is entertaining and insightful; perhaps even useful.

“The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring ~that she lovingly gives; the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.” ~ Audrey Hepburn

Here are 11 common traits quality women share:

Here are some of the telltale signs to look for in a partner.

1. She’s a woman who takes care of herself

A woman who takes pride in her herself garners immediate attention and respect. She’s responsible and accountable for what she does and doesn’t do and refrains from undeservedly blaming anyone for anything. This kind of woman is reliable, hard-working, and confident.

2. She’s comfortable in her skin

That sort of woman knows her own self-worth and has the confidence to back it up. Though she may be insecure at times (she’s only human), she’s able to look into the mirror with pride. This woman is also intelligent enough to realize that her opinion about her appearance is the one that matters.

3. She has a strong sense of independence

In other words, she doesn’t NEED you – and this is a positive thing. An independent woman isn’t reliant on anybody for her personal needs. She hasn’t fallen for you just so that you could provide for her financial, mental or physical necessities. The woman has entered the relationship as an equal partner – and is willing to shoulder the burden at any time.

4. She isn’t self-absorbed or self-centered

Of course, a quality woman is not self-absorbed or self-centered. Quite the opposite. She often gives more than she takes and puts others before herself. In a relationship, this woman’s selflessness is evident. She wants love, honesty, and respect for you.

5. She’s not a woman interested in drama

Theatrics do not interest a quality woman – something that reinforces her high level of maturity. This woman will not play childish games, escalate a conflict, or seek to make you jealous. It’s not an understatement that she probably despises unnecessary drama as much (if not more than) you do.

6. She inspires you to be the best version of yourself

A quality woman knows what you’re capable of becoming and will encourage this without making a fuss about it. She desires you to reach your full potential because she both loves and respects you and your abilities.

7. She is level-headed about conflict

As a refined, mature, and intelligent woman, she understands the inevitability of occasional conflict. Something that separates a quality woman from the rest is that she remains logical and poised about the situation. She encourages and anticipates an amicable solution to whatever conflict may surface.

8. She’s a woman who is both opinionated and open-minded

She is not afraid to make her opinions known and stick to her guns. She also possesses the knowledge to articulate her beliefs. Perhaps most important, she is tolerant of others and actively listens to what they have to say. In the context of a relationship, her opinionated yet open-minded outlook means she doesn’t require validation; nor does she expect you to appease her.

9. She’s real when it comes to intimacy

Quite simply, a high character woman isn’t bashful about intimacy. You’ll know when she’s ready for the next step, and she isn’t shy about stating what she is and isn’t comfortable with. A quality woman approaches intimacy as she does with many other things: with collectedness and maturity.

10. She always seems to leave a positive impression

As mentioned, a quality woman possesses great character. She’s confident, smart, open, honest, and loyal. For these reasons and others, she never ceases to leave a good impression on people. Odds are most – if not all – of your family and friends admire and respect her.

11. You feel extremely fortunate to have her!

But of course! Why wouldn’t you feel lucky to have a woman with such qualities? You should also feel a bit of pride because a woman of this status wouldn’t date someone who didn’t “measure up.” Count your blessings if she’s willing to share the rest of her life with you.

Final Thoughts on Finding a Quality Woman to Share Your Life With

Finding a quality woman to share your life with is incredible good fortune. When you find someone who understands, supports, and loves you unconditionally, it’s as if the stars have aligned in your favor. This perfect-for-you woman brings joy, companionship, and a sense of belonging. Besides that, she will help to make life’s challenges more manageable and its joys more abundant. With her by your side, you have a partner who celebrates your victories, comforts you in times of sorrow, and uplifts you with her unwavering belief in your potential. You share a deep connection, built on trust, respect, and shared values, creating a foundation that can weather any storm. Together, you embark on a journey filled with love, laughter, growth, and shared memories. Cherish and appreciate the extraordinary fortune of finding the perfect woman, for she is a treasure that makes your life infinitely richer and more meaningful.

11 Behaviors A Crazy Person Displays to Reveal Themselves

May 27, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Psychopathy is among the most difficult disorders to spot. The psychopath can appear normal, even charming. Underneath, he lacks conscience and empathy, making him manipulative, volatile and often (but by no means always) criminal. – Psychology Today

“We think of psychopaths as killers, alien, outside society. But, says the scientist who has spent his life studying them, you could have one for a colleague, a friend – or a spouse,” says The Telegraph columnist, Tom Chivers.

The words “psycho,” “nut-job,” and others are thrown about loosely – and with little to no relevance to a person’s actual state of mind. We may even feel comfortable characterizing someone in such a way to others, with little to no thought given on the matter.

Sometimes we even forget there are, in fact, people who meet the clinical standards of psychopathy; that actual “psychos” do exist. Before we go any further, let’s refer to the American Psychiatric Association’s definition of psychopathy (technically, termed ‘Antisocial Personality Disorder’) as reported in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5):

“(A) pervasive pattern or disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood.” The manual goes on to list seven evidence-based behaviors of psychopathy, of which a person must display three as having regularly occurred since age 15.

The phrase “pervasive pattern or disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others” is psychopathy defined in eight words.

Professor Robert Hare, a career criminal psychologist, and creator of the ‘PCL-R’ assessment – a diagnostic criterion of psychopathy, is a leading expert in psychopathic behavior. Hare states “It stuns me, as much as it did when I started 40 years ago, that it is possible to have people who are so emotionally disconnected that they can function as if other people are objects to be manipulated and destroyed without any concern.”

Perhaps what is more stunning (and frightening) is the possibility of being in a close relationship with a psychopath. As psychopathy is a cryptic mental disorder, it is often very challenging to “find out” if someone does or does not fit the mold.

That said, there does exist a common set of behaviors that psychopaths display.

Here are 11 behaviors psychopaths often display:

1. Frequent acts of aggression

Lack of impulse control, combined with any semblance of emotional awareness, often results in violent acts of aggression. Psychopaths may or may not physically harm someone, but they’re almost always emotionally and verbally abusive.

2. Constant thrill-seeking

By “thrill-seeking,” we’re not talking about the usual adrenaline junkie who loves bungee jumping or skydiving. Psychopaths are addicted to acts that stimulate their insatiable desire for danger – even if such actions risk harming themselves, others, or are illegal.

3. Manipulative tendencies

Kind of a no-brainer here, but psychopaths have a well-deserved reputation as skilled manipulators and deceivers. Without an “inner compass” directing them to what’s right or wrong, they’ll often manipulate and deceive someone for no other reason than personal amusement.

4. They lack genuine emotion

Anger, jealousy, frustration and rage are all typical psychopathic behavioral traits. Psychopaths forgo deeper emotions (e.g. kindness, compassion, empathy, love) for the more readily-accessible, shallow variety.

Unless…

5. They want to take advantage of people

Some psychopaths don’t see “personal gain” the way others do – they just get a sick thrill out of taking advantage of someone. Others will use kindness and benevolence to get something, anything – money, power, fame, whatever – to temporarily satisfy an even more transient want.

6. They (literally) have no empathy

It’s common for a psychopath to have shallow, chaotic relationships – because they lack one important quality: empathy. In a study published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, researchers examined the brain images of 121 incarcerated inmates, including individuals classified as “highly-psychopathic.” The research concluded: “(Results) demonstrate individuals with psychopathy failed to (show) neural networks (that) may contribute to empathetic concern.”

7. They’re irresponsible and accusatory

Predictably, psychopaths don’t take responsibility for their behavior. They attempt, instead, to instill a sense of blame in the victim. That’s right. They’ll not only evade responsibility but disparage the actual victim in the process.

8. An aggrandized sense of self-worth

Psychopaths often have arrogant, dominant, and narcissistic tendencies. As such, they have an elevated sense of self-importance and self-worth. It’s also common for this population to have an extreme, misplaced sense of entitlement.

9. They have no real friends

True friendship requires a mutual and honest sharing of emotions, interests, and support. While psychopaths can feign the emotions of others, they can produce no positive emotions relating to other human beings; hence, any “friendship” involving a psychopath is not real by any measure.

10. They’re frighteningly charming

When a psychopath wants to “turn on the charm” and appear funny, gregarious and sweet, they can fool almost anyone, and at their leisure. This “talent” is particularly tragic when one considers the trail of human devastation they leave after getting what they want.

11. They’re habitual criminals

Psychopaths make up as much as 25 percent of all male offenders in federal prisons, even though they account for less than one percent of the overall population. The psychopath’s impulsivity, aggression, disregard for the law, and lack of empathy no doubt contributes to these disproportionate numbers.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
References:
Chivers, T. (2017, May 11). Born to kill? How to spot a psychopath. Retrieved May 23, 2017, from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/tv/2017/04/20/psychopaths-can-spot-one/
Decety, J., Chen, C., Harenski, C., & Kiehl, K. A. (2013). An fMRI study of affective perspective taking in individuals with psychopathy: imagining another in pain does not evoke empathy. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 7. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2013.00489
Lewis, T. (2013, September 24). Blame the Brain: Why Psychopaths Lack Empathy. Retrieved May 23, 2017, from http://www.livescience.com/39904-why-psychopaths-lack-empathy.html
Psychology Today. What Is Psychopathy? Retrieved May 23, 2017, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/psychopathy
Wolff, C. (2017, March). 15 Clues Someone Might Actually Be A Psychopath Or Has Psychopathic Tendencies. Retrieved May 23, 2017, from https://www.bustle.com/p/15-clues-someone-might-actually-be-a-psychopath-has-psychopathic-tendencies-43831

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