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What Does Your Chinese Zodiac Reveal For 2017?

April 7, 2017 by Power of Positivity

2017 is the year of the Chicken, the 4714th Chinese year.

According to the Chinese Horoscope Calendar (CHC), this year is the year of the Red Fire Chicken (N.B. NOT the spicy chicken you can get at your local eatery!). The CHC theory indicates that Chicken is a female metal, which is linked to jewelry, gold, and precious gems. Translate that into modern-day terms, and we are talking about monetary wealth, luxury, and beauty! However, do not get too carried away just yet because as the chicken is female metal, which is unfortunately linked with fog or dirty air. Therefore, we are unable to see clearly moving forward until the fog passes.

Now let us look at what this means for YOU (remember, the CHC states that if you are born before 4th February, your sign is the same as the previous year).

What Does Your Chinese Zodiac Reveal For 2017?

Rat

In love, if you are single, you should look into going to social gatherings and it would help your cause to enlist help from someone older than you, like a parent, mentor, or older friend. However, those in relationships will now see their amorous partnership settle and married couples will concentrate on the family.

Money-wise, loaning money to people close to you would bring problems getting it back and it is also advisable not to make any risky investments. Look into the real estate markey as a safer bet.

At the office, you are someone in demand. If you feel that your current job does not let you spread your wings, then you could look to do just that elsewhere. If there is a promotion opportunity, this is another possible avenue open to you. However, you will have to go and get it.

Cow

In love, everything is looking rosy if you are attached, so there is no need to keep working on your relationship. Single? You are in luck, someone decent is on the way. Just do not milk it!

Money-wise, looking good also with many opportunities but they will require your time, so do not expect that seven-figure cheque in the mail just yet.

At the office, status quo is the order of the day. Sticking with the right people where you are will bring you good fortune, just as you planned.

Tiger

In love, expect some fireworks coming your way if you are single. If you are not, it is just as good. You will spend lots of time with the person of your affections, making you the cat that got the cream. All positive vibes.

Money-wise, some hard work is needed for about six months if you are embarking on a new quest, then you will see the fruits of your labour. Money from the old business will be more than enough to cover it.

At the office, a job change is a good idea to get your claws into but pay close attention to the timing. It is time to improve communication skills to aid with your professional development. Couple that with your innate passion will stand you in good stead with any obstacles.

Rabbit

In love, now is not looking good. To help you if you are looking, ask a Dog, Rat, Cow, or Snake. You should avoid any arguments as much as possible if you are in a relationship.

Money-wise, your hard work will pay off after the summer. After your receive this, take this cash and hop it! Use your hard-earned on a new project.

In the office, you are not ready to tackle something new right now. Work on yourself and develop new skills so that you are prepared for challenges as they come. For now, stick to what you know.

Dragon

In love, there should be fire in your belly after reading this. If you are single, going out will lead to meeting someone with whom a connection is highly probable. For those in a relationship, you will enjoy a deeper romantic union. Married dragons will fall in love again with their spouses. This year is one to remember in this aspect, no matter for civil status.

Money-wise, more good news. However, be sure to use all your faculties available to you, with the most useful being intelligence, creativity, good ideas, discovery, and positive vibes. Hiring a financial advisor could be a money-spinning idea. People who are born under the sign of Chicken will do all the promotion needed to succeed.

At the office, your choices will be the correct ones, no matter what you choose. This is a good time for you professionally, as you have the luxury of playing stick or twist and both choices being good ones. Sticking with your bread and butter is good because you are a leader who knows the chosen field well. Twisting is also good because you are well-equipped for the new obstacles ahead, but there is the possibility of this option being unstable at first. Not even St. George can stop you!

Snake

In love, good times are on the horizon if you know how to manage romantic relationships well, as Snakes are experts at being entangled. If you are on the hunt, now is optimal for searching for a mate, and even more so for men. If you have already found that special someone, your relationship will grow and develop further. A married Snake needs to give more attention to their spouse, with patience, care, and yielding required.

Money-wise, you are looking good in this also, my slithering friend. Just know that your passion for wealth might not be constant. If you keep it up, you are golden.

At the office, do you take that new opportunity knowing how settled you are right now? If you feel enthusiastic and passionate for the new task, go for it. If not, no need to panic. You have the luxury of being able to wait for the next one. How lucky it is to be you this year, Snake!

Horse

In love, although you will need to put some effort in, it will be all worthwhile. The seekers will find, especially if you are a man, and the romantically occupied among you will also enjoy some memorable times, just try not to argue.

Money-wise, a raise could be on its way, and the return on that investment? Ker-ching! You are certainly looking quite flush this year, Horsy, galloping all the way to the bank!

At the office, you are another one with choices. If you continue being passionate, it will not matter whether you stay where you are or take that new opportunity. Should you be offered that new position, you may find it hard to resist. Your neigh will be heard miles away….

Sheep

In love, you will be able to find or maintain love is possible, though you must not put too much pressure on a partner and be patient, potential or otherwise.

Money-wise, it can be a good year but only if you spend time on what you are working on at this moment, so do not be sheepish!

At the office, if you find following the herd unrewarding, now is a good moment to take on a different challenge. You are looking at a good cycle if you remain passionate.

Monkey

In love, you are not looking too clever. It is better to look for business opportunities or career interests at this time, no matter what your civil status is.

Money-wise, if you have the right patience and are careful, this can be a rather profitable time for you. Extra income may be hard to come by through competition. If you feel you can handle it, you will be successful. If not, you can ask your competitor if they want to co-exist for a particular project.

At the office, the future is bright if you are diligent. You have been working hard of late but feel that you have not reached your goal yet. You could take on a new role, either moving up the ranks where you are or swinging from one branch to another.

Chicken

In love, shaky territory is ahead but not all hope is lost. Looking? If you meet people born under the Cow, Dragon, or Snake, you could find yourself with a smile on your face. If you are in love already, arguments might ensue. To get plucky, finding a Snake as a mediator can be crucial. If you blame yourself, your confidence and spirit will be through the floor.

Money-wise, it is finger-licking good if you have the energy to see it through this year. Forget about risky investments or loaning money because they will cause you problems in the long-run with a return of chicken feed or worse. Play it safe this year!

At the office, again tread with caution. You really need to think long and hard before accepting a new job offer because you will be faced with competition from your new colleagues. The same goes for a promotion. If you need help, a Tiger can help you, giving you clarity and a sense of direction.

Dog

In love, think golden retriever. Single? While on the hunt, do not go all rottweiler and be too aggressive. Play it cool and you may have a new toy to play with soon. In love already? You have to have as much patience as a dog waiting for its master coming home from work. If you are a married Dog, no worries here. Look at any career or money-spinning opportunities.

Money-wise, opportunities are all around but you need to act fast or you will have to wait a year. Using a Snake to help you out can reward you more than a Scooby snack, as can using social networks.

At the office, stay loyal to your current employer. Stay focused on your current responsibilities and stay the course. Stay grounded. Just….. stay!

Pig

In love, pay closer attention to your love interest or partner. If you are looking, get out in the sun and start socialising. Men will find it easier to meet women in April, May, and June. Already have a partner? Show them your real piggy heart so that your relationship grows stronger.

Money-wise, you can bring home the bacon during the summer months! You will need to earn it through your passion and dedication. Do not let that deter you from great rewards.

At the office, you are currently unsure of your path at present. However, all that changes in the summer when clarity kicks in, then you can oink with delight about what you are up to professionally. New opportunities are only fine if you have the passion and the proper plan of action to pull it off, so ask yourself if you really want it. If not, stay put, dear Piggy!

As Porky Pig would say, “That’s all folks!”

References:
Other A N., “2017 Chinese Horoscopes for Year of Chicken” Chinese Fortune Calendar. http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/2017/

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

9 Signs Someone Is Bottling Up Their Emotions

April 7, 2017 by Power of Positivity

The Oxford dictionary’s definition of “to bottle something up” is: “Repress or conceal feelings over time.”…So how do you know whether someone is doing just that with their emotions?

Here are nine signs to look out for that shows someone is suppressing their emotions:

1) Having an attitude reveals bottled emotions.

Getting stroppy is a temporary release from what is going on inside. It is the result of something eating away at the person in question because they are attaching happiness to a particular outcome and did not get it. Maybe the person they like completely humiliated them and the pain is bubbling away in secret. Maybe someone else at work got the credit for work they did. It is nothing more than a coping mechanism to prevent a full blow-out.

2) Feeling alone.

Their Saturday night consists of watching the whole series of X-Files by themselves, as they feel like their emotions are alien to everyone else that they even ignore calls from friends. If you believe this is the case, get Agents Mulder and Scully knocking on their door pronto. The truth is out there!

3) The silent treatment.

They say that silence is deafening. For someone bottling up their emotions, it is a cry for help, a silent one at that! It is another coping mechanism to keep things inside and for the person to “keep it together”. It can also be used as a way to let someone know you are not happy with them.

4) Distractions may signify bottled emotions.

Keep reading, my friend! These may come in many forms, such as people, events, games, sex, and so on. These are used to deter the person doing the suppressing from potentially reacting faster and more destructively than Chernobyl and Fukushima combined. Anything that can help take the edge off is fair game. However, such distractions are merely a temporary solution to a lingering problem.

5) Avoidance.

This is avoiding the cause that brings negative emotions. Triggers can include people, objects, places, events that ended badly, and others. This, like the last sign, is a way for the person to not face their demons.

6) Hitting the bottle.

Drink and/or substance abuse is yet another coping mechanism which is very common. The spectrum of substances ranges from alcohol to heroin to “legal highs”. This, as you are probably aware, can lead to dependency, possible disease or even death. Again, these “solutions” are only a temporary measure.

7) Bad memory can come with bottled emotions.

As the sufferer concentrates more and more on how to deal with the suppression, they tend to be more forgetful and less able to recognise social cues within a particular setting. This leads to a lack of communication, and a distinct decline in relationship satisfaction with everyone, most of all a romantic partner.

8) Weight gain.

Cortisol, the “stress hormone”, is released into the body to recover from two others, namely adrenaline and corticotropin releasing hormone, which brings about short-term loss of appetite. After the other two hormones disappear, cortisol lingers and appetite returns, making you eat more. It can also be stored as “visceral fat” in the abdomen. If this continues, the suppression turns into stress, which can onset weight gain.

9) Deterioration of gut health.

As the brain and the gastrointestinal tract are interchangeable, with the gut being known as “the second brain”, this can cause physical symptoms in that particular area. These symptoms include: an upset stomach, bloating, diarrhea, and nausea.

The truth of the matter is that it will come out sooner or later. You can either decide to let it go or your overpowering emotions will do it for you.

Have you got the bottle to let it out in time?

75 Year-Long Harvard Study Reveals How to Be Happy in Life

April 7, 2017 by Kristen Lawrence

Do you want to know how to be happy in life? Of course, you do.

Many different people have many different ways to enjoy this happy life. The monks of Tibet use meditation, the Hawaiians use Ho’oponopono, and the British visit the local pub on a Friday night! However, one study from Harvard University in the United States of America has been conducted for seventy-five long years to state how to make your life as happy as possible.

One of the longest ever undertaken this study commenced in 1938, and it followed 268 undergraduate men from every walk of life. It chronicled all aspects of their lives, from income to alcohol consumption. Correct to 2nd February 2012, only sixty-eight of the original number remained alive. The man who headed it from 1974 to 2004 is Harvard psychiatrist George Vaillant, who obtained the findings from the Harvard Grant Study. Some facets of the study are still emerging and are unknown in the public domain at this moment in time. However, we will share with you what we can about the findings.

Here Are the Key Takeaways on How to Be Happy in Life:

Remember these priceless words of advice.

1. “Happiness is love. Full stop.”

These are the five words Vaillant wrote in conclusion to a study that has cost seventy-five years and US$20 million. He explains two pillars of happiness: love and “finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.” That means that you can be Richie Rich inside a mansion with your butler and McDonald’s, but money and power have little influence on happiness, as “in terms of achievement, the only thing that matters is that you be content at your work,” adds Vaillant. All relationships matter, even your earliest ones as a child. They serve as an indicator of happiness in life as a whole and career satisfaction.

Connections matter and, as H.L. Hunt succinctly put it,

“Money is just a way of keeping score.”

2. Intelligence is not the be-all and end-all that determines your happiness.

Naturally, it has some effect on how we feel, not that we are saying that people with a lower IQ cannot be happy. To clarify, the average IQ in the USA is ninety-eight. However, according to the Harvard Grant Study, men with an IQ slightly above average are generally just as happy as someone considered a genius.

3. You can be happy again, even after pain.

A tall red-haired participant named Godfrey Minot Camille attempted suicide after graduation from medical school and was a narcissistic hypochondriac before thirty. By the time he was fifty, he was an empathetic altruist and used a pragmatic stoicism for going about life. He recollected how love changed his life over time. Let us hear Godfrey in his own words when he was seventy-five:

“Before there were dysfunctional families, I came from one. My professional life hasn’t been disappointing – far from it – but the truly gratifying unfolding has been into the person I’ve slowly become: comfortable, joyful, connected, and effective.”

When he died while mountain climbing in the Alps at the ripe old age of eighty-two, he was a dearly loved husband and father to two doting children, and the church where he frequented was packed to the rafters at his memorial service. The Bishop who spoke in his eulogy said, “He lived a very simple life, but it was very rich in relationships.”

You can buy George Vaillant’s 480-page book “Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study” on Amazon or the Harvard University Press.

How Can You Be Happy in Life?

Now that you know why cultivating joy is essential, how can you be happy in life? The answer to this boils down to the activities and people who feed your soul. Here are a few ideas of some habits you can try.

The Happy Health Brain Foundation team knows that a healthy and well-balanced brain is a happier brain.

With that in mind, clinical neuropsychologist Paul D. Nussbaum, of the University of Pittsburgh, advised the following in the Journal of the American Society on Aging:

“People should consider participating in novel and complex activities and reduce rote and passive activities. Some examples: learn a new language, including
sign language (which is great for babies); travel to new places and use new routes within familiar settings; play a musical instrument; engage in the arts and work on creative pursuits; play board games and do daily brain fitness exercises; read and write; and, try improvisation.”

So let’s look at how four of the habits mentioned above relate to how you can be satisfied in life.

1 – Travel to New Places

The world is right there, outside your door. If you have a heart full of wanderlust, indulge it. Plan to see new places, experience new cultures, and have fun along the way.

The more you immerse yourself in travel, the more you learn. Dr. Nussbaum noted in the JASA article is that the location must be “novel” or new to stimulate your brain cells. He also suggests taking a new road to familiar places. So even if you want to visit your favorite vacation spot, driving a route off the beaten path might provide a positive outcome, as well.

2 – Learn a New Language

Have you ever wished you had paid more attention in your high school foreign language class? It is never too late to learn, and there is no better time to start than today. You will feel proud of your accomplishments as you master each new lesson. Besides that, you will have an excellent new skill that will enable you to make new friends on those travels!

3 – Play an Instrument

A study of the pleasure centers of the brain concurs that music supports happiness. The article explains that music is a sensory pleasure and can have a positive effect on the brain. So pick up the guitar you always wanted, tune into a YouTube video, and teach yourself how to play a few chords. You will receive the reward of self-contentment.

Also, music is therapeutic and can help resolve past hurts.

4 – Host a Game Night

Playing games can be fun. But perhaps the best part about hosting a game night is the fellowship with your family or friends. It’s a great way to get together, engage in a positive activity, and spend precious time together with those special people in your life.

Final Thoughts on Learning How to Be Happy in Life

Learning how to be happy in life is within your grasp. Regardless of what activities you engage in to fulfill your promise of joy, remember that joy is your birthright. So love with all your heart, forgive past hurts, and never think it’s too late to try new things.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Research Reveals: The First Child Is More Intelligent Than Their Siblings

April 7, 2017 by Power of Positivity

First things first: don’t kill the messenger. Many believe that the first child in any family will reap the benefits of parental adoration and unwavering attention.

Researchers at the University of Edinburgh wanted to examine the age-old debate (no pun intended) about the firstborn being the most intelligent. Some scientists believe that first-borns receive “privileges,” such as extra parental attention, behaviors, and habits.

Following a 5,000 person study, the research team did conclude that firstborns tend to be “smarter” than latter-born children. This is not by any means a failsafe predictor of intelligence; rather, the study serves to prove the importance of parental attention and the advancement of knowledge.

In this article, we discuss the study; including the rationale, methodology, outcomes, and impact of the study. Also importantly, what the research does and does not implicate.

Rationale

A highly controversial theory, appropriately named the “Birth Order Effect,” served as the primary catalyst for the research. Per the theory, firstborn children are privy to advantages not given to siblings in terms of mental stimulation. (Children born after the first child also have some advantages, which are briefly discussed.)

According to Psychology Today:

“Birth order has a powerful impact on children’s emotions, behavior and personality development. By a twist of fate a child is born into a particular spot in the family, and from this position, he will have unique emotional experiences. Each spot in the order has its advantages and challenges.”

One of the apparent benefits of the firstborn child according is more intelligence, better earnings, and a higher level of education.

Research Reveals: The First Child Is More Intelligent Than Their Siblings

The extensive study, which measures intelligence and economic outcomes, was conducted in collaboration by three organizations: The University of Edinburg School of Economics, the University of Sydney, and the Analysis group.

Economists from all three organizations examined survey data from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics and found some interesting trends. The level of education, income and intelligence (IQ) appears to correlate with the order of birth, with the firstborn as the benefactor.

Researchers observed nearly 5,000 children from pre-birth until age 14. Each child was given an assessment even two years which tested general intelligence, including “reading, matching letters, names, reading simple words aloud and picture vocabulary tests.”

An assessment tool called the Home Observation Measurement of the Environment measured parental behaviors throughout the pre-birth, pregnancy, and post-birth stages. Parental behaviors included emotional involvement with their children, smoking habits, and others.

Additional factors taken into consideration when compiling and analyzing the results included economic conditions and family background.

Outcomes

Due to “more mental stimulation,” firstborn children scored higher on IQ tests as early as toddlerhood. Furthermore, after analyzing data compiled from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, the oldest child often earns more income and achieves a higher level of education.

Why?

Unsurprisingly, parental involvement diminished as they had more children; including less time devoted to reading, crafts, and other educational activities. In other words, less mental stimulation was given to children following the firstborn.

Researchers found that each child did receive the same amount of emotional support (love, affection, attention, etc.) Interestingly, parents remained more attentive to thinking-related tasks of the firstborn than the others.

Dr. Ana Nuevo-Chiquero, one of the study’s researchers, states: “Our results suggest that broad shifts in parental behavior are a plausible explanation for the observed birth order differences in education and labor market outcomes.”

Dr. Kevin Leman, a psychologist and the author of The Birth Order Book and The First-Born Advantage states: “Firstborns are held to a higher standard. As kids come into the birth order, parents loosen up.”

Lehman characterizes the oldest child as more achievement-oriented; a characteristic often translating into good school and job performance. The firstborn is also likelier to seek out and thrive in leadership roles. (Most U.S. Presidents have been firstborn children or only children).

As for the middle and youngest children?

Dr. Lehman states that middle children often serve the role of “peacekeeper,” and are sociable and loyal in their relationships. They also exhibit the characteristics of a peacekeeper by being excellent compromisers and negotiators.

“Middle children are tougher to pin down, but they tend to be very loyal and to highly value their friendships,” says Lehman.

Youngest children, in study after study, exhibited markedly different personalities than their siblings. More specifically, the youngest tend to be more social, outgoing, and persuasive. The youngsters have also shown to be more creative than their older siblings.

But it’s perhaps their interpersonal habits that are the most interesting.

“…They got away with murder as kids and know how to get around people,” adds Lehman.

In closing…

Birth order and any relating theory are both extensively researched and highly controversial. Most of the utmost ardent supporters of the theories admit some degree of inconclusiveness.

Still, there is no denying the implications of such research. Psychologists and counselors may utilize the theory for treatment purposes, and educational systems may take birth order into account, for example.

Anyways, please conveniently “forget” this research at your next family reunion…especially if there’s alcohol.

Let the debate begin!

7 Behaviors Hypocrites Show To Reveal Themselves

April 7, 2017 by Power of Positivity

“Hypocrite: The man who murdered both his parents, and then pleaded on the grounds that he was an orphan.” – Abraham Lincoln

When searching for an introductory quote, this one by Abraham Lincoln was simply too good to pass up. It’s quite clear that ‘Honest Abe’ – a man known for his tendency to always tell the truth – possessed little sympathy for those who didn’t.

(Tennessee William’s quote “The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that also a hypocrite” was also considered.)

What is a hypocrite?

Quotations aside, hypocrites are among the worst type of dishonest people. Dictionary.com defines a hypocrite as:

a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

Anyone else think “politicians” or “celebrities” when reading the definition?

Fortunately, with the proliferation of news outlets and social media, being a hypocrite is tougher business than it used to be. (An eye-opening activity: search ‘hypocrite’ on Google, narrow results to ‘past week’ or ‘past 24 hours,’ and click on ‘News.’)

According to a research team the University of Southern California (USC), hypocrisy comprises one of three behaviors:

(1) Moral double standards occurs when a person is vindictive about a perceived offensive act of someone else; yet, shows little hesitance or guilt in doing the same thing. (Example: cutting someone off in traffic.)

(2) Moral duplicity is generally the one we use to define the act. Moral duplicity is when someone claims to be honorable in their motives, but this is known to be a complete falsehood. (Example: a politician citing neutral views on an issue despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.)

(3) Moral weakness is type of cognitive disconnect wherein a person’s beliefs or morals are trumped by their lack of self-control; thereby, they engage in the act knowing it to be wrong. (Example: a clergy member taking a vow of celibacy and then engaging in sexual acts.)

The difference between ‘hypocrite’ and ‘hypocritical’

If we’re honest with ourselves, most of us have been hypocritical at one time or another. Does this make us a Bona Fide hypocrite? No, it does not. At least, to a reasonable person it should not.

Someone labeling another as a hypocrite – as with a being labeled a “liar,” “degenerate,” “manipulator,” etc. – is a serious accusation, and one that brings potentially life-changing consequences.

It’s all a matter of proclivity and frequency. In other words, does the person truly live as a hypocrite, liar, degenerate or manipulator? Can they be defined as such?

That’s the benchmark.

How is the relevant to the title of the article? Well, “catching” someone doing something perceived to be hypocritical may not warrant tagging them with the title of “Hypocrite.”

Perhaps the best course of action is to use our best judgment (including understanding the situation); and when possible, appropriate, and ethical, remain discreet. Don’t be the source of office gossip, for one.

Here are 7 behaviors, beliefs and tendencies of hypocrites that may reveal their true identity:

1. Attempting to punish someone for “pointing out” any wrongdoings

If their hypocrisy has crossed the line, you – acting in good conscious – bring knowledge of such to their attention. Instead of the person admitting fault and apologizing, you are berated and belittled. Perhaps the hypocrite will go a step further and try to humiliate you publicly.

2. Aura of condescension and superiority

A hypocrite’s level of arrogance and superiority is borderline narcissistic. Attempt to engage them as equals, as you’ll likely walk away feeling like a student who has just been reprimanded by the teacher. They’ll (directly or indirectly) mock your intellect, maturity (oh, the irony!), or stability.

3. Rules don’t apply to them…

But those rules are very much applicable to others. Like the notorious gangster Al Capone, hypocrites are “above the law.” That’s because their innate sense of entitlement excuses them to act how they please. As others are inferior, rules must be used to keep them controlled.

4. Excuses, lies, and more of the same

Predictably, hypocrites are prolific (often pathologic) excuse makers and liars. The truth, no matter how convincing the evidence, is of no concern to them. If you watch any courtroom proceedings on TV, you’ll assuredly witness a hypocrite/narcissist blurt some bold-faced lie – and in front of a judge; in front of someone who can throw them in jail. Enough said?

5. “Do as I say, not as I do.”

High expectations of others and little to no expectations of themselves. So perhaps this is all that needs to be said. The hypocrite may be articulate and charming in their manipulative efforts, but they’ll never (ever) emulate any standard they set forth for others.

6. Always playing the victim

Many hypocrites will make excuses for their bad behavior. Often, these stories are crafted to dramatic effect; to gain the sympathy of others. They’ll insist they hate drama, and yet are probably the most dramatic person you’ve ever come met.

7. It’s not (and never is) their fault

It doesn’t matter how egregious the behavior, how boldfaced the lie, how impulsive the act – it is never the hypocrite’s fault. In retort, the phony may even rehash some of your (real or perceived) mistakes, in an effort to justify your accusations (which they really don’t care about, anyways.)

5 Things To Remember If You’re In A Relationship With A Sociopath

April 7, 2017 by Power of Positivity

‘The sociopath will: Belittle you…then humiliate you…then slander you…then provoke you. Why? To cause confusion, sadness, sorrow, embarrassment and pain.’ – Alison Zehe, writer, and survivor

When a person steps out into the dating world, perhaps their most distant possible thought is “I’m going to find a sociopath to settle down with.” While this absurd idea may generate a chuckle or two from our readers, many good people right at this very moment are being abused by a sociopathic partner.

Before we go any further, perhaps it’d be beneficial first to describe what a sociopath is. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), a sociopath falls under the category of an “Antisocial Personality Disorder,” a condition characterized by many the following attributes:

– Superficial charm and good intellect

– Untruthfulness and insincerity

– Lack of remorse and shame

– Failure to conform to social norms

– Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience

– Pathologic egocentricity and incapacity for love

– General poverty in major affective reactions

– Failure to follow a life plan

– Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations

A self-described sociopath succinctly describes her condition:

“Remorse is alien to me. I have a penchant for deceit. I am generally free of entangling and irrational emotions. I am strategic and cunning, intelligent and confident, but I also struggle to react appropriately to other people’s confusion and emotion-driven social cues.”

Not exactly the type of person one would like to envision themselves in a relationship with. Yet, sociopaths do find courtship, get married, have children, hold down jobs, and so on. The woman that described her condition is an accomplished attorney, a devoted churchgoer – and a diagnosed sociopath. She “functions” as a “good person,” but warns of the “lot of stupid, uninhibited, or dangerous sociopaths out there.”

Here are 5 important things to remember when in a relationship with a sociopath:

1. They are prone to emotional and irrational outbursts

Cognitive intelligence is a common trait among the sociopathic; however, emotional intelligence is not. The DSM explains such in the diagnostic criteria of sociopathy: “…a history of crime, legal problems, or impulsive and aggressive behavior.” If you’ve been in a relationship with a sociopath for any significant period of time, it’s likely you’ve witnessed such impulsiveness on more than one occasion.

While sociopaths are not prone to physical violence as psychopaths are, it is not out of the realm of possibility. Therefore, it is paramount for you to remain aware, and to have an exit strategy, if necessary.

2. They can’t be trusted with money or any other resources

Sociopaths handle money in the way that they handle everything else – with recklessness. It’s important to understand that sociopaths see recklessness and danger as a potential “high,” similar to how a cocaine addict sees a dealer loitering around the corner.

What makes sociopaths particularly dangerous is that their desires invariably change. They may seek a short-term thrill (see: gambling), a luxury object, a new place to live, etc. Thus, as nearly all “desires” in life have a monetary cost, handing cash or a credit card to a sociopath isn’t going to end well.

3. The manipulative behavior will never stop

Sociopaths see people as a toddler sees a rattle; as something to be toyed with. People are simply a “means to an end,” no matter how convincing their display of “love,” “affection,” or “empathy.”

It’s not uncommon for a sociopath to use false promises or some other type of manipulative tactic to get their way. “If you do _____, I’ll do _____,” and, of course, they never follow through on their commitment. If this doesn’t work, they’ll try and “psych you out,” – usually by making you feel terrible – to get what they want.

4. The words “boundaries” and “compromise” mean nothing to them

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Establishing boundaries and understanding compromise requires mutual respect and empathy; two characteristics that a sociopath does not possess. If you attempt to create some type of boundary or compromise, one or more of the following will happen:

– they’ll pretend to listen or completely ignore you

– they’ll throw a tantrum and vanish

– they’ll agree to said terms with no intention of following through

Again: a sociopath does not care about your desires, only their own.

5. They do not love you how you love them

This is not to say that sociopaths are incapable of love, some are; but it is generally limited to close family (brothers, sisters, parents) if anyone. The emotional abnormalities of a sociopath translate to “shallow” and “fleeting” feelings towards others (compared to the typical human) – if they experience them at all.

Debate persists on whether or not sociopaths are capable of loving relationships. The preponderance of psychological research seems to answer with an emphatic “no.”

References:
DeFife, J., Ph.D. (2010, February 10). DSM-V offers new criteria for personality disorders. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-shrink-tank/201002/dsm-v-offers-new-criteria-personality-disorders
Thomas, M.E., (2013, May 7). Confessions of a Sociopath. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/confessions-sociopath
Thomas, M.E., (2013, May 7). How to Spot a Sociopath. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/how-spot-sociopath

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What Does Your Chinese Zodiac Reveal For 2017?

Rat

Cow

Tiger

Rabbit

Dragon

Snake

Horse

Sheep

Monkey

Chicken

Dog

Pig

References: Other A N., “2017 Chinese Horoscopes for Year of Chicken” Chinese Fortune Calendar. http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/2017/

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Here are nine signs to look out for that shows someone is suppressing their emotions:

1) Having an attitude reveals bottled emotions.

2) Feeling alone.

3) The silent treatment.

4) Distractions may signify bottled emotions.

5) Avoidance.

6) Hitting the bottle.

7) Bad memory can come with bottled emotions.

8) Weight gain.

9) Deterioration of gut health.

Here Are the Key Takeaways on How to Be Happy in Life:

1. “Happiness is love. Full stop.”

2. Intelligence is not the be-all and end-all that determines your happiness.

3. You can be happy again, even after pain.

How Can You Be Happy in Life?

1 – Travel to New Places

2 – Learn a New Language

3 – Play an Instrument

4 – Host a Game Night

Final Thoughts on Learning How to Be Happy in Life

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Rationale

Research Reveals: The First Child Is More Intelligent Than Their Siblings

Outcomes

Why?

As for the middle and youngest children?

In closing…

What is a hypocrite?

Here are 7 behaviors, beliefs and tendencies of hypocrites that may reveal their true identity:

1. Attempting to punish someone for “pointing out” any wrongdoings

2. Aura of condescension and superiority

3. Rules don’t apply to them…

4. Excuses, lies, and more of the same

5. “Do as I say, not as I do.”

6. Always playing the victim

7. It’s not (and never is) their fault

Here are 5 important things to remember when in a relationship with a sociopath:

1. They are prone to emotional and irrational outbursts

2. They can’t be trusted with money or any other resources

3. The manipulative behavior will never stop

4. The words “boundaries” and “compromise” mean nothing to them

5. They do not love you how you love them

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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Us

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

References:
Other A N., “2017 Chinese Horoscopes for Year of Chicken” Chinese Fortune Calendar. http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/2017/

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