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The 4 Toltec Agreements That Will Change Your Life

From whom?

The Toltecs are a people who rose to prominence in central Mexico between the tenth and twelfth centuries CE. They built a stunning capital in Tullan, known today as Tula, which is seventy-two kilometres North-West of Mexico City. They passed on their heritage to the Aztecs, who revered them for having a prosperous civilisation and even claimed descent from them.

With such glowing praise from the biggest known tribe of Mexico, let us look into what the Toltecs have to tell us. When these agreements are understood, people have new possibilities in life and get excited by these. Particularly the areas of happiness, love, and respect for themselves and their relationships. However, people do tend to forget about all the challenges and obstacles the mind has for living just ONE of the agreements. Don Miguel Ruiz, the grand master of Toltec spirituality and neoshamanism, touches on said challenges but people concentrate on the agreements themselves and miss out on other key information, which makes it rather likely to lead to disappointment, frustration, and “This does not work!”

Why is it so hard to do? Over the years, we do not pay attention to how we express ourselves and have our own personal automatic responses. These are out of habit and, because of this, the expressions in our words, emotions, tones, and attitudes are not our conscientious decisions. Not to worry; these mind habits do not have the power to stop the commitment of adopting the Four Agreements if you do not let them. Also, do not forget that, because you already have set habits subconsciously in the mind, it is very difficult at first to be able to keep to the agreements all of the time.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS OF THE TOLTEC PEOPLE

1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD.

– Speak with integrity.
– Say only what you mean.
– Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
– Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.

– Nothing others do is because of you.
– What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.
– When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

enemy within

3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.

– Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
– Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.
– With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.

– Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
– Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Related article: 7 Lakota Sioux Laws That Will Change Your Life

What this article intends to do is to promote freedom. This freedom is a personal one from fear, illusions, and long-held beliefs within the mind, which relieves the human condition from suffering. When this is achieved, you learn to automatically live your life with unconditional love, perennial gratitude, and respect for the self and others.

What can YOU do for yourself to make life better, not only for yourself, but also for others in your clan? Are you mentally strong enough to adopt these Toltec Four Agreements?

5 Allergy Triggers You Need to Avoid

The latest surveys show that the rates of allergy are increasing throughout the world, affecting up to 30-35% of people at some stage in their lives. This increase was initially seen in countries such as the UK, Europe and USA, but can now be found in all countries undergoing industrial development. – British Allergy Foundation

Indeed, the number of people with some type of allergy is on a steady incline. The frightening thing is that scientists don’t have a definitive reason for this growing epidemic.

We’ve traditionally associated the word “allergy” with foods, medications, and plants, and rightfully so, as they constitute the vast majority of allergy cases. Unfortunately, due to alterations in the means of production, along with changes to the global environment, “common culprits” of allergies appear to be spreading.

This article discusses five allergy types on the rise – and what preventative measures to take.

5 Allergy Triggers to Avoid

#1 Insects

After we’re bitten or stung by some pest, most of us will have a “normal” reaction, such as swelling or itchiness of the skin. For a small, increasing group of people, an insect bite or sting can be deadly. Per the American College of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology (ACAAI), approximately 3 percent of adults attacked by an insect die from the reaction.

According to the ACAAI: “Stings from five insects – honeybees, hornets, wasps, yellow jackets and fire ants – are known to cause allergic reactions to the venom injected into the skin.” To most people, bites or stings from an insect, though rare, are normal. Hence, when someone experiences a bite or sting, they’re likely to – as most people would – wait for it to heal.

It is important to recognize the potential symptoms of an insect sting allergy: pain, redness, swelling (in the affected area and sometimes beyond), flushing, hives, itching, and anaphylaxis (a less common condition that impairs breathing and can be life-threatening).

#2 Pets

The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA) estimates that as many as 30 percent of adults are allergic to cats and dogs, with cat allergies twice as common as dog allergies.

Goods new for soon-to-be pet owners is that the breed of cat or dog triggers the allergic reaction. In other words, someone can be allergic to certain breeds and be completely unaffected by others.

Per the AAFA: “A truly ‘hypoallergenic’ (unlikely to cause an allergic reaction) cat or dog does not does exist. If you have a cat or dog allergy, your body’s immune system reacts to proteins in the pet’s urine, saliva or dander.” An oversensitive or under-developed immune system is far more likely to cause a pet-related allergic reaction.

#3 Nickel

Increasing numbers of people allergic to nickel is perplexing to the medical community. Generally, this chemical element is not given a second thought; yet it is ubiquitous is common everyday items: coins, cell phones, eyeglass frames, and jewelry among them.

Initially, a nickel allergy causes contact dermatitis – an itchy rash that appears where your skin touches something (usually) harmless. Besides causing an itchy rash, a nickel allergy can also cause other changes to the skin, such as blistering and redness.

Due to the increasing cases of nickel allergies, many companies are now producing “nickel-free” products. Additionally, some pharmacies sell nickel detection kits; something handy if you’re unsure a product of yours contains the element.

#4 Medications

Know how when you go to the doctor, and you check the “No” box that asks if you’re allergic to any medications? If so, you’re not alone. Most people don’t possess a clue to whether they’re allergic to some drug.

Per the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology (AAAAI), the most common medications that produce allergic reactions: antibiotics (e.g. penicillin), aspirin and ibuprofen, anticonvulsants (i.e. anti-seizure), chemotherapy, and certain antibody therapies.

“The chances of developing an allergy are higher when you take the medication frequently, or when it is rubbed on the skin or given by injection, rather than taken by mouth,” adds the AAAAI.

#5 Food

Of course, this list would not be complete without food allergies.

A couple of important facts about food allergies: (1) they tend to be hereditary; often passing from parent to child, (2) symptoms of food allergy are extensive, both in scope and duration.

The second point is of particular significance, as an initial reaction to one episode can vary drastically from subsequent reactions – an enigmatic pattern that often leads to unawareness of a potentially dangerous condition.

Any type of food can cause an allergic reaction, though eight food types are responsible for 90 percent of all cases:

– Eggs

– Fish

– Milk

– Peanuts

– Shellfish

– Soy

– Tree nuts

– Wheat

If you suspect that you may be allergic to something, it is important to visit an allergist (immunologist) for testing. Immunologists are specially trained to manage both allergies and the immune system.

After conducting tests and examining the results, they can design a specialized treatment regimen to help manage the allergic condition(s).

References:
American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology. (n.d.). Drug Allergy | AAAAI. Retrieved April 15, 2017, from https://www.aaaai.org/conditions-and-treatments/allergies/drug-allergy

American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology. (2014). Insect Sting Allergy. Retrieved April 15, 2017, from http://acaai.org/allergies/types/insect-sting-allergies
Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America. (2015, October). Are You Allergic to Dogs or Cats? Retrieved April 15, 2017, from http://www.aafa.org/page/asthma-triggers-causes.aspx
British Allergy Foundation. (2015, September). Why is Allergy Increasing? Retrieved April 15, 2017, from https://www.allergyuk.org/why-is-allergy-increasing/why-is-allergy-increasing
Chamberlin, K. (n.d.). These Allergies Are On the Rise-Why You’re At Risk. Retrieved April 15, 2017, from http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/allergies-on-the-rise/
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2016, November 18). Nickel allergy. Retrieved April 15, 2017, from http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/nickel-allergy/home/ovc-20267453
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Has Your Heart Ever ‘Skipped a Beat’? This Is What It Means…

A heart problem isn’t anything to joke about. So, here are signs that most often accompany a severe heart problem: shortness of breath, severe chest pain, heavy sweating, and dizziness, or feelings of fainting. This is a medical emergency, so you should probably cease reading and call an ambulance.

Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way…

Most (all?) of us have experienced the strange sensation of the heart “skipping a beat.” When it first happens, it’s a little troubling. “What in the he** was that? I’m only 25 years old.” Regardless of your age, it is a disturbing feeling at first.

The Mayo Clinic describes the physiological mechanisms of a premature beat:

Premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) are extra, abnormal heartbeats that begin in one of your heart’s two lower pumping chambers (ventricles). These extra beats disrupt your regular heart rhythm, sometimes causes you to feel a flip-flop or skipped beat in your chest. (PVCs) are very common – they occur in most people at some point.

There are habits (mostly bad) that can contribute to PVCs. Here are five:

#1 Your Exercise Routine

heart

(No, this is not an excuse to stop hitting the gym, pavement, or yoga mat. Hopefully…more on this below.)

The more physically rigorous a workout, the higher your blood pressure and heart rate. (Which is the goal of most workouts!) But as your heart pumps larger amounts of blood, the chances of experiencing a premature beat increases.

On a serious note, people experiencing PVCs on a regular basis during exercise should seek the advice of a doctor. Any heart condition large or small is nothing to ignore.

A condition known as ventricular arrhythmia, wherein a person physically exerts themselves beyond their heart’s capacity to supply blood and oxygen, can cause a near-instant death.

A healthy heart is crucial for any exercise regimen, and one reason for the “Consult with your doctor before starting this or any other exercise program” warning on any exercise product.

#2 Too much “Morning Joe” can cause heart fluttering

Or any caffeine, for that matter.

Slamming a cup of Joe or a Redbull is a morning ritual for millions of people. It gives us a much-needed energy boost, especially for those who despite mornings (yep, sounds about right.)

Caffeine acts on the Central Nervous System (CNS) and has a pronounced effect on alertness levels, which is why around 90 percent of world consumes the substance in some form. What follows is a rapid release of stress hormones, which alters heart rhythms. Interestingly, caffeine isn’t the cause of PVCs – it just exacerbates the feeling.

Avoid consuming any more than 400 milligrams of caffeine daily.

#3 Dehydration

Adequate hydration levels help to maintain the heart’s normal pace. Without enough fluids, the heart must exert itself to function properly as the body requires constant blood circulation for nourishment.

Also, dehydration can cause essential nutrients – such as potassium and sodium – to drop. This effect is dangerous, as these nutrients supply the heart with electrolytes, which are necessary for heart contraction and expansion. Magnesium, calcium, potassium, and sodium are the four main electrolytes required by the body.

It is recommended that adults drink at least 64 ounces of water daily. “8, 8-ounce glasses!”

#4 Insufficient Sleep

You aren’t the only one that feels the dastardly effects of a sleepless night; your heart does too.

The effect is systematic: lack of sleep leads to irritation and stress; the body releases hormones to counteract the stress, and these hormones can trigger PVCs. Stress hormones are the primary cause of those extra beats, in fact.

The National Sleep Foundation (NSF) recommends seven to nine hours for adults up to age 64, and 7 to 8 hours for ages 65 and over.

(For the curious parent out there, here’s what the NSF recommends for the youngsters:)

– Newborns (0-3 months): 14 to 17 hours

– Infants (4-11 months): 12 to 15 hours

– Toddlers (1 to 2 years): 11 to 14 hours

– Preschoolers (3 to 5 years): 10 to 13 hours

– School-age kids (6 to 13 years): 9 to 11 hours

– Teenagers (14 to 17 years): 8 to 10 hours

#5 An undiagnosed heart condition

As we’ve alluded to, most PVCs are harmless or easily correctable. However, an underlying heart condition may be present if “…premature beats…occur frequently, are coupled, or beat three times in a row at a fast rhythm, all of which may signal a health problem and pose an extra danger to your health.”

Among the most common conditions known to produce PVCs are heart disease, hypertension, and atrial fibrillation.

Medical professionals recommend a trip to the doctor’s office if the above symptoms should surface.

heart

Final Thoughts on the Things That Make Your Heart Flutter

The factors influencing premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) underscore the intricate relationship between our lifestyle choices and heart health. Our exercise routines, caffeine consumption, hydration levels, sleep patterns, and vigilance regarding underlying heart conditions all play pivotal roles in determining the well-being of our cardiac system.

Understanding the impact of these factors and making conscious decisions to maintain a heart-healthy lifestyle can significantly reduce the risk of experiencing PVCs and related heart issues. It’s crucial to prioritize our cardiovascular health, seek medical guidance when needed, and embrace habits that nurture a strong and resilient heart. After all, a healthy heart is the cornerstone of a vibrant and fulfilling life.

References:
Lewis, A. (2017). What It Means When Your Heart Skips a Beat – and 9 Things That Cause It. Retrieved from http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/heart-skipping-a-beat-meaning/
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2014, April 26). Premature ventricular contractions (PVCs). Retrieved from http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/premature-ventricular-contractions/basics/definition/con-20030205
Pietrangelo, A., Krucik, G., M.D., M.B.A. (2014, October 22). The Effects of Caffeine On The Body Retrieved from http://www.healthline.com/health/caffeine-effects-on-body
WebMD. (2017). What Does It Mean When My Heart Skips a Beat? Retrieved from http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/atrial-fibrillation/heart-palpitations-overview#1
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Research Reveals How You Can Control Your Emotions

Our theory of constructed emotion hypothesizes that “anger,” “sadness,” “fear,” and similar mental events are not basic building blocks in the mind, but instead are mental events that result from the dynamic interplay of more basic brain networks (not) specific to emotion. – Lisa Feldman Barrett, Ph.D.

Lisa Feldman Barrett is a brilliant and accomplished woman with the credentials to show for it. Despite all her accomplishments: Distinguished Professor at Northeastern University, Research Neuroscientist and Massachusetts General Hospital, Lecturer at Harvard Medical School, etc. Soon she may very well become known as the woman who revolutionized emotional intelligence.

In her book “How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain,” Dr. Barrett puts forth a potentially groundbreaking theory called the Theory of constructed emotion. Indeed, her successful challenge of the “emotional status-quo” already has a sizeable impact across multiple fields: psychology, medicine, law, and meditation.

This article attempt to explain – in the simplest terms possible – Dr. Barrett’s important work. Further, we’ll explain how Dr. Barrett’s discoveries allow us to identify, understand, and regulate our emotions!

What are emotions?

regulating emotions

“You might think that in everyday life, the things you see and hear influence what you feel. But it’s mostly the other way around,” explains Dr. Barrett.

Gosh, it’s hard to define what constitutes an emotion, isn’t it?  Where does an emotion “come from?” Why are we happy, sad, angry, frustrated, fearful, etc.? Indeed, emotions feel automatic and uncontrollable.

Are they? Can emotions be controlled – if so, how?

For years, many scientists explained (or attempted to rationalize) that emotions are “hardwired” into our brain and body – a phenomenon of underlying biological processes. This “classical” view on emotions dates back nearly 2,500 years ago to the time of Plato.

Perhaps we need to clarify this.

This old theory doesn’t sit well with some psychologists. Other scientists, including Dr. Barrett, whose research “overturns the widely-held belief that emotions are housed in different parents are the brain…(showing) that emotion is constructed at the moment, by core systems that interact across the whole brain, aided by a lifetime of learning.”

To advance her findings, Dr. Barrett founded the Interdisciplinary Affective Science Laboratory in Boston, Massachusetts. Barrett’s research and publications soon became a notable success.

Because of this success, Dr. Barrett eventually expanded operational capabilities. Today, two of her team’s primary locations are Northeastern University and Massachusetts General Hospital – a teaching hospital of Harvard University. Dr. Barrett has also hired 20-plus employees who comprise some of the brightest young and experienced minds in neuroscience.

Barrett’s discoveries about emotions

“…what you feel alters your sight and hearing. Interoception is more influential to perception, and how you act than the outside world is.”

Interoception is “your brain’s representation of all sensations from your internal organs and tissues, the hormones in your blood, and your immune system.” It is a sensory system responsible for detecting internal regulation responses – digestions, heart rate, hunger, and respiration among them.

Dr. Barrett clarifies: “Basically, your brain is processing internal and external sensations all the same time and making meaning out of them. That’s what an emotion is.”

In the simplest possible terms: emotions are not merely a biological process. In fact, emotions are the byproduct of some 90 billion neurons and hundreds of trillions of synapses. If necessary, please read that again…hundreds of trillions of electrical signals are rapidly firing in our brain.

“What we see, hear, taste, touch, and smell,” Dr. Barrett explains, “are all simulations of the world, not reactions to it.” She relates this conclusion to a near-universal truth” “You don’t walk around being surprised all the time.”

The extraordinary complexity of our brain tunes in finely to our immediate environment. Indeed, throughout years and years of evolution, our gray matter became accustomed to “predicting” what “happens next” in any situation – a constant state of analysis.

Dr. Barrett uses a personal (and admittedly cute) anecdote to illustrate: she and her daughter entertained the notion of a “gross foods” experiment. The duo “mashed baby food – peaches, spinach, beer, and so on – and artfully smeared it on diapers.” Many guests, privy to the fact that it was “just food,” still gagged. Others did not. The different experiences of Dr. Barrett’s guests were not a “reactive” response but rather an individualistic interpretation of both internal and external stimuli.

Other examples of controlling emotions

Other examples Dr. Barrett gives people who smile when frightened and laugh in anger. In other words, biological mechanisms cannot explain the human emotional experience.

Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), Dr. Barrett and her colleagues studied brain images before, during, and after certain stimuli were introduced.

The experiment’s results were astounding, both to Dr. Barrett and her team and independent scientists. Dr. Lucy L. Brown, a highly respected neurologist a New York City’s Albert Einstein of Medicine, pronounced: “There are no centers for things in the brain…no “brain blobs” of neurons or neural circuits that we can identify with the activation of specific emotions… (Dr. Barrett’s) imaging data is indisputable.”

In recognition of her groundbreaking work, Dr. Barrett received one of the most prestigious awards within the psychological community: The Association for Psychological Science (APS) Award for Lifetime Achievement.

Emotional Control

Dr. Barrett’s theory of constructive emotion emphasizes the early comprehension and conceptualization of emotional experiences. The ability to understand our emotions is critical to our well-being.

So put. We must identify and verbalize (either to ourselves or others) what we feel. By doing so, we “grasp the reigns” of emotions and bring them back to our control.

There is no “default circuit” for emotional despondency. We have the responsibility of recognizing and making sense of what pops up in our heads.

The short explanation: Dr. Barrett’s neuroscientific discoveries have validated self-therapy. “Our ability to express ourselves more clearly and articulately about our (emotional experiences)” is, in itself, a powerful form of therapy.

Dr. Barrett states the reason behind her book (and her work):

“A lot of people are hurt by cultural practices that are informed by a theory of emotion that is not as scientifically defensible as we believe it to be. And in the end, that’s the thing that got me to write the book.”

10 Subtle Ways To Show Your Partner You’re In Love

The littlest things are often the largest gestures of love.

For many of us in a long-term relationship, it’s funny to think about what we “valued” – and how we presented ourselves – during those “early days.”

Men, in particular, have a way of bringing out the “big guns”: their most expensive clothes, the pricey restaurant (even if they can’t afford it), a newly-polished ride, etcetera. (Well, unless you’re one of those dudes who just doesn’t give a rat’s behind, which may work for some.)

Then time passes. Two souls get to know each other; they fall “head over heels,” make plans…you know the whole intimacy thing. That’s when things get really interesting; that’s when some of life’s best moments happen (or the other way around, unfortunately.)

Ultimately, a relationship’s longevity and happiness depend at least as much on the “little things” as anything else.

Here are 10 subtle (yet powerful) ways of displaying love to a special someone:

Let’s get going!

love meme1. Caressing of the face or hair shows love

There is no small gesture more loving and thoughtful than a sweet touch or stroke of your special one’s hair or face (ask any woman). Not only is this gesture straightforward and powerful, but it is also versatile.

A gentle caress and sweet smile can relay your love and devotion, heal an emotional wound, or even stoke the flames of intimacy. Guys (men), if you’re not doing this, you’re doing something wrong.

2. Leave a love note somewhere unexpected

If you’ve ever done this, please comment on your partner’s reaction.

Truly, leaving a “surprise note” is a sweet and considerate gesture. The combination of an initial “OMG” feeling, followed by an influx of love hormones, is sure to leave a lasting impression.

Some ideas: use a sticky note and put it on the mirror, the inside of their car (steering wheel!), or – if you’re pressed for time – just leave a quick note heading out the door.

3. Involve the kid(s)

Involving the kids is a very sweet way of demonstrating love and appreciation for their mom or dad. Of course, this is a sly way of showing your love as well.

There are plenty of creative ways to do this. Have them draw a picture, wait at the door for a surprise kiss and hug, or encourage them to think of something kind at the end of the day.

4. Put the toilet seat up/down

Somemen make a conscious effort to this every time – and it is appreciated.

Admittedly, this habit doesn’t require too much effort. But something as simple as leaving the toilet seat up or down sends your partner a subtle message of kindness and conscientiousness.

5. Make food with love

First thing: it’s okay if you’re not a Gordon Ramsey or Rachael Ray. Give this one your best shot anyways. Remember, it’s the thought that counts. Plus, there are a ton of simple recipes on the interwebs.

Chances are you’re attuned to the other half’s culinary preferences. Why not roll up your sleeves and make a meal with love? Research a recipe, pick up some fresh ingredients, and cater to your partner’s palette.

If all else fails, there’s always Chinese takeout.

6. Pick up a small gift

While most astute love gestures are immaterial, there is still something about picking up a small present that evokes excitement.

Brainstorm your partner’s hobbies and passions. It shows that you put time and effort into considering what they might enjoy.

Given enough thought, odds are you’ll come up with a great, inexpensive gift idea. Trust me; they’ll love it.

7. Be lazy together

Seriously, if at all possible, stay in and have a lazy day. Think Peter from Office Space but with a woman.

Pajamas? Leave ‘em on. Dirty dishes? Forget about them. Head to the couch, blanket in tow, and binge on some episode of something. Cuddle up and take a nap or three. This is what real love is.

8. A quick and surprising kiss

Is your loved one focused in on something? Good. Sneak up behind them (if they won’t freak out) and give them a quick (or not so quick) kiss. Put some passion behind that peck if you’re so inclined.

Butterflies.

kiss

9. Pay attention to show your love

Okay, so we can’t always orchestrate a creative, subtle way of demonstrating our love.

Paying attention is a worthy addition to this list for a couple of reasons. First, the art of active listening is exceedingly rare, even for people in long-term relationships. Second, paying attention is a beautiful and subtle way of showing your love and respect.

Let’s switch gears…

10. Touch the “right spot.”

Now we’re talking. (Don’t worry, we’re not going to go all Kama Sutra).

Most people have areas of their body that, when touched by their loved one, it can stimulate the senses. As mentioned, many women love the face caressing or brushing of their hair. For a man, this area may be his shoulders or chest.

Affectionate touching or rubbing of the “right spot” is a subtle (or not so subtle) act of love.

5 Kind Phrases That Can Change A Child’s Life Forever

Adults, especially parents, greatly impact what kind of person a child will become. At a young age, a child will mimic a parent’s words, phrases, and actions – in other words, their behavior.

Words have a potent influence on children. Early in children’s lives, they are guided mostly by behavior and emotions. However, as their cognitive and verbal skills rapidly develop, words play a larger and larger role in their lives.

As adults, we can choose to positively influence any child simply by using the right words. And a child may indeed need your positive words, whether they realize it or not.

Specifying what “child” or “children” we’re speaking of may be helpful. In this article, we focus on the psychological aspect during childhood development.

Child development is defined as “the biological, psychological and emotional changes that occur in human beings between birth and the end of adolescence.” In the later years, a person develops an increasing sense of autonomy.

Positive Phrases and the Child Brain

phrases

“Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you may stick with someone else for a lifetime.” – Rachel Wolchin

Let’s look at a study by Martin Teicher, MD, Ph.D., and his colleagues at Harvard Medical School.

The study, published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, administered a self-assessment to young adults, ages 18 to 25. The assessment asked each young adult to rate their childhood exposure to peer and parental verbal abuse – and were then given a brain scan.

Here are the results of the study:

– Individuals who reported experiencing verbal abuse from peers during middle school years had an underdeveloped corpus callosum, a part of the brain responsible for sending signals (communications) between the brain’s left and right hemispheres.

– This group also had higher levels of anger, anxiety, depression, dissociation, hostility, and drug abuse than others in the study.

– Verbal abuse from peers during middle school years had the largest impact. This makes sense, as middle school age (11-14) are associated with rapid brain development.

Other studies have indicated that verbal abuse not only impedes psychological health, it also stunts brain development. This can lead to severe psychological problems, unfulfilled potential, poverty, and other tragic outcomes.

The point: the words kids hear, especially words directed towards them, can significantly impact their lives.

Now the question is what to do about it.

We can begin by paying more attention to our thoughts and emotions, as they often create our words. In a child’s presence, we may need to take a sensitive discussion elsewhere, or wait until a different time.

Finally, we can say things that promote a child’s well-being – an important behavior that segues into the topic of this article.

Here are five kind phrases that can change a child’s life:

kind phrases

1. “Kindness is the greatest gift you can give.”

In a world filled with its fair share of cynical and uncompassionate people, we need people who freely bestow kindness onto others. If you try, you can probably think of a time when someone else’s kind words made all the difference in your day; maybe even your life.

A personal story:

For this author, it was his high school psychology teacher, who would later become his mentor.

After three years of mediocre academic performance in high school, I focused the best I could to get good grades. After scoring a 98 percent on my teacher’s exam, he wrote: “Why didn’t you do this the last three years? You could be in the top 10 of your class! Great job!”

I still remember those words when I doubt myself.

2. “Appreciate the little things.”

Through young childhood, it’s unlikely that this will mean much – but say it anyways. In fact, say it until the day the child leaves home or your presence.

“Appreciate the little things.”

Despite our best efforts, we tend to accept too many things for granted. While the world is stricken with plenty of problems, it also possesses astonishing beauty. Many of us are fortunate in ways we don’t often contemplate.

Teach your child to appreciate the trees, animals, flowers, and sun in nature. Teach them about food, water and shelter – and how fortunate they are to have those things.

3. “Treat everyone with acceptance and respect.”

Today, our lack of mutual acceptance and respect for people – and their differences – has led to tragedy after tragedy, including bloodshed and loss of life.

If we adults repeat these words and exhibit such behaviors, the end result will be a child who highly values acceptance and respect. They’ll be peacemakers and leaders; advocates for the dignities of all people.

what children need to hear

4. “Listen before speaking.”

The skill of active listening – fully concentrating, understanding, responding to, and remembering what is said – is difficult to acquire and master.

However, we can plant the seed of active listening and conversing by reminding the child to listen before talking. For instance, if you’re giving the child instructions and they interrupt (it happens often), remind them of this phrase.

With enough guidance, repeating this phrase with kindness and gentleness will teach children the importance of respectful communication.

5. “Think good thoughts and do good things.”

This is a simple phrase with a powerful lesson.

The earlier and more frequently we adults emphasize the importance of positive thinking and good deeds, the likelier the child is to embrace and exhibit these traits.

We need positivity in this world. Let’s pass it on to our kids.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
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