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5 Reasons Why Libras Are Considered The Most Committed Partner In The Zodiac

February 4, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Libras, born from September 23 – October 22, represent balance and peace. Libras love helping people and are considered great humanitarians. They want justice and peace in life, and care deeply about their close friends and family. They don’t like conflict, and do whatever they can to avoid it. Libras are very gentle, kind, caring people, and will bend over backwards to make sure everyone in their life stays happy.

However, people often take advantage of them due to their inability to say “no” at times – they can easily become caught up in people pleasing behaviors. They put other people first, and this can serve as a recipe for getting hurt depending on the person’s intentions.

Libras have a very warm, laid-back, charming nature which helps them make friends quite easily. They are approachable, funny, loving people. They don’t have many friends, but they hold the ones they do have dear to their hearts.

As far as romance goes, Libras make wonderful partners. In fact, some consider Libras to be the best partner in a long-term relationship, and it’s easy to see why once you get to know them. If you’ve been considering a relationship with a Libra, read on to find out why pursuing them might just be the best decision you’ve ever made.

Why Libras Are Considered The Most Committed Partner In The Zodiac

1. Libras are intensely loyal.

Libras don’t want anything superficial; they want the real deal. When you get into a relationship with a Libra, make sure you have the intention to stay committed to them, because they don’t even waste their time with anything less. Libras will stand by your side no matter what, and will not betray you for any reason. They don’t let their eyes wander to other potential mates or allow themselves to become emotionally involved with someone else. They want you, and only you.

2. They love making people happy.

Libras have a very selfless nature and enjoy putting a smile on people’s faces. If they can help out even one person, they will do it, no questions asked. They go above and beyond for their partner, and always put them first. If you want a homemade dinner, they will go shopping for all the ingredients and whip up something special just for you. They have huge hearts and find fulfillment in keeping you happy, taken care of, and loved.

3. Libras are extremely loving.

If you want a lover who will give you nonstop affection, take you on a surprise trip to a nearby town, and brag about you to friends and family, look no further than a Libra. Libras don’t hold back their love, and wouldn’t want to anyway. They only know understand unconditional, full-throttle, deep love. You get the full package with a Libra, and all they want in return is a loving, supportive, kind partner.

Libras actually prefer being in relationships, and when they find a partner, they give 110% to the person. Libras simply love to love, and will always be there to lift you up when you feel down.

4. They are hopeless romantics.

Don’t expect just dinner and a movie with a Libra – that’s much too generic and boring for them. They will pull out all the stops for their partner, and take you on a date that feels more personal to you. They listen to everything you say and pay attention to the things you truly enjoy.

For example, if you tell them that you love horseback riding, they will find a way to make it happen. They will surprise you with a three-course homemade meal when you get home from a long day of work, just because they want to see you smile. They’ll play you a song, write you a poem, take a walk with you on the beach at night, listen to your hopes and dreams, and will never get tired of making you happy.

Learn 7 things that you’ll understand if you are a Libra.

5. Libras don’t like conflict.

Another positive trait about Libras is their ability to see both sides of a story, and not jump to conclusions too quickly. They believe in justice and peace, and will avoid conflict if at all possible. Libras will talk things out with you in a calm, respectful manner, and if you start yelling or getting angry, they’ll walk away until you calm down. They don’t like to stir the pot, and are pretty even-keeled individuals. If you want a laid-back partner who will never raise their voice at you and will always take the time to hear you out, then you will love having a Libra guy or gal in your life.

5 Behaviors That Create Insensitive People

February 4, 2017 by Chris Butler

When we look at the world as a whole, most of us will concede that kindness and acceptance are more commonly practiced than cruelty and meanness. This outlook is often strongly challenged by our inevitable run-ins with the latter group. Some people are unapologetically insensitive to their fellow human beings. Such individuals lack the empathy and tactfulness that so many of us come to expect. In short, we – at the very least – anticipate common courtesy and basic decency from those we come in contact with.

Although a minority, those who do not heed these standard social practices pose a risk of spreading their pessimistic ways to otherwise good people.

The purpose of this article is not to delve into complex sociological topics. Instead, we wish to provide insight into what makes insensitive people think and act in such a manner.

You’ll surely notice that these five behaviors are pretty commonsensical. Despite this, we’ll often forget what goes on “in the background” of another person’s mind, particularly those who go against the generally accepted social contract of decency and common courtesy.

Here are 5 “in the background” behaviors, attitudes, and circumstances that create insensitive people:

“Just as the performance of the vilest and most wicked deeds requires spirit and talent, so even the greatest demand a certain insensitivity which under other circumstances we would call stupidity.” – Georg C. Lichtenberg, German scientist, philosopher and satirist

1. Brain Chemistry

Brain chemistry is the first topic of discussion – and for a good reason. This is almost assuredly the primary driver of callous behavior.

As we are all well aware, our brains are different in some cases, such as those who possess narcissistic tendencies. This fact cannot be overlooked.

Insensitive people have very different brain chemistry than most. Specific mechanisms within their brain do not permit the conveying of altruism or sensitivity. Most of the time, insensitive people aren’t aware that their behaviors are perceived as such. Even if someone pulls them aside and attempts to explain their behavior as unacceptable or off-putting, the insensitive person will display a sense of bewilderment. Hence, they’ll probably carry on as usual.

2. Different Thought Patterns

Related to the previous topic, in some ways, thought processes are another main reason insensitive people act the way they do. The main difference is that thought patterns are often a byproduct of environmental factors, while brain chemistry is something that is (often) autonomic.

Take, for example, the corporate world – a fiercely-competitive arena that may manifest into aggressive thought patterns. After a while, these patterns – you guess it – alter one’s brain chemistry.

Likewise, strongly-held personal beliefs and convictions (e.g., religious views, political stances) may cause someone to act or say things perceived as aggressive and insensitive.

3. Insensitive People Are Often Angry

Angry emotions feed irrational thoughts, words and behaviors. When we’re mad, our higher-level executive functions are heavily suppressed. This impact on the brain makes it much more challenging to retain a sense of self-control. Of course, when self-control is absent, the likelihood of doing or saying something insensitive multiplies.

Anger lowers our inhibitions and makes us forget the consequences of our actions. Unfortunately, this includes the pain inflicted on the receiving end of our insensitivities. We can hurt someone deeply – and, many times. They do not deserve such treatment.

4. Lack of Self Esteem

Lack of self-esteem as it relates to insensitivity is relatively simple to understand.

Many (most?) people with self-esteem issues can still constructively interact with others by keeping their concerns in check. However, a small number of individuals will degrade others to “make themselves feel better.” The problem with this is two-fold: (1) it’s a very, very short-term “solution” to a much deeper issue, and (2) pain is inflicted onto someone who, in many instances, did nothing wrong.

5. Stress Causes Insensitive People

How effectively someone deals with stressful situations, whatever they may be, is easily seen by how they interact with others afterward. Do they bark something nasty to someone else? Do they carry on and get things done anyway? Insensitive people fall into the former group.

Saying that we all deal with stress differently is a vast understatement. Some people cannot constructively handle specific stressful triggers. Furthermore, those inept at coping with stress will spread their negative state of mind to others around them.

Simply put, stress is a distraction, and insensitive people are almost incapable of handling the effects of stress without hurting someone in the process.

10 Ways to Be More Sensitive to Others

Studies show that social relationships help reduce stress and lower your chances of heart problems. Part of building solid relationships is learning how to relate to other people. One crucial social skill everyone should know is how to be more sensitive to others. Here are some suggestions to be more sensitive to those around you.

1. Be a better listener

One way to be more sensitive to others is to be a better listener. It’s easy to get distracted when someone talks to you. Giving the person your complete attention shows them you care about them. Other things you can do to become a better listener include

Don’t look at your phone
Don’t interrupt them
Make eye contact with the person speaking
When they finish speaking, ask questions to clarify
Reword what you think you heard

2. Show interest

When someone tells you they’re having a hard time, be sure to show concern. Ask them if there’s anything you can do to help. Showing concern for others, especially when in trouble, shows sensitivity and care.

3. Apologize when it’s necessary

Sensitive people discern when they’ve hurt someone. They’re willing to make amends by apologizing for hurting the person’s feelings. You may say something like

“I need to apologize for teasing you about your hair. I was trying to be funny, but I realized it wasn’t kind. Please forgive me.”
“I’m sorry for being late today. I know it caused you some inconvenience.”

4. Show empathy

Empathy means you emotionally identify with them and are sensitive about what they’re going through. You may or may not have experienced what they are experiencing, but you can attempt to see the world through their eyes.

5. Be willing to learn from others

When you’re eager to learn from others, it reveals your humility. You have a healthy view of yourself. A willingness to learn from others means you’re sensitive to what others can teach you. You’re willing to learn from your kids, your spouse, or a co-worker. Insensitive people feel superior to others and miss out on learning from them.

6. Offer support

Another way to be more sensitive to others is to support them. You look for ways to help or encourage them, especially if they’re going through a difficult time. You say things like, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Let me know how I can help you.” or “Congratulations on the job promotion!” Insensitive people have a hard time thinking about anyone besides themselves. They justify their lack of support by pointing to their needs as more important.

7. You remember people’s name

You show sensitivity towards others when you do something as simple as remembering their name. Next time you meet someone, focus on learning their name.

8. Use gracious words

Have you ever talked with someone who attacked you with their language and then said something like, “I’m just being honest?” They weren’t being honest. They were rude and insensitive. Sensitive people can tell you the most difficult things in a way that doesn’t destroy or hurt you.

9. Show that you care for others

A sensitive person shows care for others by their words and actions. They’re not absorbed in their thoughts and life. Insensitive people are blinded to the needs of others. They are incapable of seeing others’ needs.

10. Value the opinions of other people

Being sensitive to others means you value their ideas and opinions. Insensitive people are interested in their beliefs. They feel threatened by others’ thoughts because fearing they won’t get what they want.

Final Thoughts on Being Aware of the Behaviors That Cause Insensitive People

The bottom line is we all share the planet. Being sensitive to others with kindness and concern is one simple way you can make the world an inviting place to live.

Source: Charité – Universitätsmedizin Berlin. Altered brain structure in pathological narcissism. (2013, June 19). Retrieved January 30, 2017, from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/06/130619101434.htm
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Signs A ‘Nice’ Person Secretly Has Cruel Intentions

February 2, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Not every person you meet has good intentions. That’s a fact that many people find out only too late. It’s a common problem within humankind. Everyone from the rich and famous to regular folks face this within their lifetime.

“Sweetie, if you’re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.” – Marilyn Monroe

The late Marilyn Monroe was a beautiful, gifted actress and model; as it turns out, she was quite insightful about the personal manipulation she almost assuredly experienced during her ever-present, adored existence. Ms. Monroe possessed the beauty, allure, and, yes, fortune, that screamed: “Take advantage of me!” But, despite her infamous reputation for playing “dumb blonde” characters, she was an astute judge of character. In fact, she was downright intolerant of those that vainly attempted such. Reportedly, she quickly disbanded those with ulterior motives.

Oh, and the “dumb blonde” reportedly had an IQ of over 160. We digress, however. This article is not about Marilyn Monroe. None of us are Marilyn Monroe, and 99.999 percent of us will never come close to achieving the fame and fortune of this intelligent and beautiful woman.

However, we share one thing in common: we’re all potential victims in the eyes of manipulators.

They’ll smile and speak innocently while deliberately attempting to deceive and control our very minds. Unfortunately, these manipulators all too often get their way.

So, what is the solution? It’s complicated, yet simple: we must remain keenly aware of those around us while never hesitating to take the appropriate action.

We’ll discuss 5 signs of an all-too-common type of manipulator: a “nice person” with diabolical intentions.

Here’s the 5 signs a nice person secretly has negative intentions:

1. Conversations are always one-sided if someone has cruel intentions.

No surprise here. Nice people with cruel intentions are programmed to dominate discussions. While some may lack active listening skills, ordinary people will at least attempt to engage in a dialogue. Manipulators of this type are not to be considered ordinary people as it pertains to human conversation.

Here’s the caveat. If the manipulator senses a failure in their conversational tactics, they’ll devise another method to achieve their aims. In some cases, such tactical diversion is a sudden, inexplicable interest in your life and “what’s going on” with you.

Make no mistake, such enigmatic behavior has an explanation: they’re selfish and manipulative. Manipulators are so self-focused that the dialectical spotlight will eventually shine back onto them.

2. A person with cruel intentions may keep repeatedly making demands

Another talent manipulators of this type possess is the ability to wear you down. As an individualistic person of the highest degree, they’ll constantly reiterate – often subtly–the action they wish you to take.

They’ll make demands incessantly. Why? Because their reassuring ego convinces them that their “superior” methods, however ill-conceived, will prevail over their target’s sense of self-control. Don’t allow this to happen. Challenge their words while adamantly refusing to participate in their game.

You’ll win this battle every time, but only if you’re strong enough.

3. Using persuasion as a game

The third on this list relates to the second, as dialogical maneuvers are a favorite tool of manipulators. Similarly, manipulators of this variety have a penchant for persuasion, and whether or not such diversions are effective is irrelevant. They think they are, and that’s all you need to know about such motives.

Persuasion and pressure can be potent weapons, especially when the victim lacks aptitude in discernment. Also, people who have trouble saying “no” can fall victim (sometimes knowingly) to such persuasion.

Use your best judgment, and – regardless of how difficult it may be – muster the fortitude to say no.

4. Abnormal eye contact and body language

Leveraging our interpretation of sustained eye contact can be a weapon for manipulators. To many of us, a steady and confident look indicates trustworthiness. Falsely “nice” people understand this psychological effect – and, of course, use it to their advantage.

Then, there’s the opposite side of the spectrum. Forced (i.e. “long and uncomfortable”) eye contact from the manipulator often indicates a concealed purpose; more specifically, to make someone else do what they want. Pay attention to such patterns.

Should they coincide with other eccentricities, this person – at the very least – requires a sense of caution from our end. Again, judgment and logic must dictate our next course of action.

5. Feeling “bad” after talking with them

Sometimes it’s necessary to either trust or question your “gut instincts.” This is a logical function of the human brain – to question things. When dealing with a “nice person” that’s anything but, this is certainly an appropriate response.

It bears repeating that manipulative people emit a sense of confusion and mystique to people whom they encounter. As mentioned above, communication is a powerful weapon of manipulators. Their innate ability to disrupt normal thought patterns is one reason why so many have fallen for their gimmicks.

This is when it pays dividends to trust your innate sense regarding the individual’s character. Confusion, anger, frustration, and misunderstanding are among the negative thoughts and feelings you may experience after conversing with such a person.

Here’s the bottom line. One of two facts remains: (1) the other’s personality doesn’t resonate with your own, or (2) the other person possesses manipulative notions.

Either way, they’re not to be considered an ally. Staying friends with this toxic person will become self-destructive in the long run.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

How To Train Your Brain To Stop Worrying

February 2, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Worrying is an unnecessary evil when it comes to your mental health. Some consider it simply a bad habit that can be unlearned with practice. Some think worrying serves a purpose for the brain, such as helping us to learn from past experiences and prepare for new ones. Whether good or bad, the anxiety that results from worry occupies our brains as we focus on a future we can’t control.

Some say that depression is a focus on past events you wish you could change. They also caution how worrying is focusing on future events you have no control over. Notably, instead of worrying, you can choose to take action by preparing for whatever it is that has you worried. In this article, we will look at active ways you can train your brain to stop worrying.

How To Train Your Brain To Stop Worrying

1. Stop your brain from worrying by writing it down.

This technique might be the most valuable when you are training your brain to stop worrying. If your brain keeps you up at night by thinking about something, put it down on paper. (Electronic formats also work.) This action lets your brain breathe a mental sigh of relief by no longer spending energy trying to remember these details. If you’re worrying about what to serve for a gathering of friends, write down “What to serve?”

Writing it down also is a way for you to put your brain on notice. In other words, you tell your brain, “This is important enough to write down.” Your brain has now been alerted to put resources toward solving this problem rather than being worried.

Why write it down? Researchers now have evidence that chronic worriers may be chronic problem-avoiders, too. Scientists in the journal Anxiety, Stress & Coping allowed worriers to write down three possible outcomes for problematic situations. Then, they analyzed their answers for practical solutions.

The scientists say, “When participants’ problem elaborations were rated for concreteness, both studies showed an inverse relationship between degree of worry and concreteness. The more participants worried about a given topic, the less concrete was the content of their elaboration. The results challenge the view that worry may promote better problem analyses. Instead, they conform to the view that worry is a cognitive avoidance response.”

2. Meditate for a worry-free brain.

Meditation can help train your brain to stop worrying. Researchers in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine studied the effects of meditation and found that meditation is perfect for reducing cognitive anxiety. Although some people believe they do not have time to meditate, meditation is as easy as closing your eyes for thirty seconds or longer. The act of tuning out other sources of stress actively trains your brain to stop worrying.

When you consciously take a few moments to avoid any non-natural noise in your life, you center around what is most important to you. Worrisome thoughts may come to you while you meditate, yet this is normal. Those who have mastered the art of brain-training recommend observing worrisome thoughts as they enter the mind and simply watching them pass like clouds on a breezy day.

3. Exercise to train your body and brain to stop worrying.

Worry is how your brain learns to survive by deciding whether or not to activate the fight-or-flight system. If a cougar jumps out at you, you instantly feel a rush of adrenaline. This fear response is the same thing happening to your body when you worry, just at a much lower level over a more extended period.

The same study in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine found that exercise, on the other hand, is good for you, especially when your body feels anxiety symptoms. If your body feels fewer physical symptoms of stress, your mind will interpret that there must be less to fret about because the body is not in a state of heightened arousal.

Exercise gives the body a secondary reason for the rapid heart rate and perspiration that we may feel when we worry. Exercise can help lower blood pressure, which is another physical symptom of stress in the body. If you identify that you are worrying, go for a five to ten minute walk – get outside if possible. Appreciate the sights and sounds of nature while focusing on the motion of your limbs and the breaths you take.

4. Practice mindfulness to stay present and reduce worry

Mindfulness is a powerful technique for staying present and reducing worry. It involves paying full attention to the present moment, with acceptance and without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, you can train your brain to focus on the current situation rather than dwelling on past regrets or future anxieties.

As explained by the University of Massachusetts Memorial Medical Center, mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) significantly decreases worry and associated symptoms. To practice mindfulness, start by taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath, observe your thoughts and feelings, and engage fully with your surroundings. This practice can help you develop a more balanced perspective and reduce your worries.

5. Establish a regular sleep schedule to enhance mental well-being

Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule is essential for mental health and can significantly reduce worry and stress. Adequate and quality sleep allows the brain to process emotions, consolidate memories, and enhance decision-making skills. When we are well-rested, we are better equipped to handle challenges and manage stressors effectively.

To establish a regular sleep schedule, aim to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. Create a relaxing bedtime routine to signal to your body that it’s time to wind down. Avoid stimulants such as caffeine and nicotine close to bedtime, and limit exposure to screens, as the blue light emitted can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep.

By prioritizing sleep and ensuring you get the recommended 7-9 hours per night, you can improve your mood, cognitive function, and overall resilience, making it easier to manage worry and maintain a positive outlook.

6. Seek professional help when needed

Sometimes, worries can become overwhelming and interfere with daily life. In such cases, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Therapists and counselors are trained to help individuals develop coping strategies, address underlying issues contributing to worry, and improve mental well-being.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in treating chronic worry and generalized anxiety disorder. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional if you find your worries are persistent and affecting your quality of life.

Final Thoughts on Training Yourself to Stop Worrying

Training your brain to stop worrying is a valuable skill that can significantly improve your quality of life. You can develop a more balanced and resilient mindset by incorporating techniques such as mindfulness, gratitude, and seeking professional help when needed. Remember, it’s normal to worry from time to time, but with practice and persistence, you can reduce the impact of worry on your well-being.

So, addressing worry is not about eliminating it altogether. Instead, it is all about learning how to manage it effectively. Consistent practice of the abovementioned techniques can help you build mental resilience, foster a positive outlook, and navigate life’s challenges with greater ease. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, so be patient with yourself and stay committed to your mental health journey.

25 Secret Signs He’s Confessing His Love For You

February 2, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Are you wondering if your new partner is falling in love with you?

“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship…one day you look at a person and you see something more…Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is…suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.” – Gillian Anderson

In the above quote, Ms. Anderson is right on the money – at least when friends become lovers.

Her insight in this regard, however, can extend to the many ways in which people’s feelings transform from something else into love for another; whether such transformation takes place during friendship or dating, the premise is the same: we will ultimately “confess” our love.

In most cases, but not all, the woman is more upfront about her feelings, whatever they may be. As for men, well, the picture is often a bit more opaque.

Some guys are comfortable expressing affection, but most men have a hard time expressing romantic feelings – at least verbally (e.g. “I love you,” “You’re beautiful”). It’s much easier to decipher the man’s behavior. We call these “love signs,” or “secret signs.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you’d life to find an article about the behaviors when a female confesses love, here’s a companion article to read.

Here are 25 such signs that a man is confessing his love for you:

1. In a social setting, the man will most often give you more attention than anyone else in the room.

2. He restrains from acting annoyed, even if something you do is a pet peeve or “pushes his buttons.”

3. He remembers meaningful days, such as your birthday or other dates of importance.

4. He doesn’t hesitate to make you his number one priority, even if it means going out of his way.

5. He defends you if someone attempts to bad talk or harm you in any imaginable way.

6. He always wants to spend time with you and loves every second of it. He’ll seemingly always go out of his way to do so, if necessary.

7. He always talks and opens up to you about nearly everything in his life – from his friends to his work.

8. He can’t stay mad at you for very long. He’ll often make the effort to apologize or accept your apology.

9. He tries hard to “fit in” with your friends and family members. He cares a lot about what they have to say.

10. He’ll sacrifice his happiness, comfort, and so on, if it means that you are better off.

11. He’ll text or call you before heading to bed. Often, you’re the person he speaks with last.

12. He is always respectful regardless of the situation. He won’t doe-eye other girls in your presence, or cut you off while you’re speaking.

13. He keeps you informed about his life and what’s going on; even if it’s a small matter.

14. He won’t be afraid to swallow his pride and apologize to you in the event he does something hurtful.

15. He’ll help whenever he’s asked, from the smallest favor to something that demands his full attention and effort.

16. He eagerly wants to know about your life, from your childhood to work – and everything in between.

17. He’s protective of you in many ways. For example, does he request a call or text to know you got home safely? Does he “guide” you across the street or while walking?

18. He’ll include the word “we” instead of “Me” or “I” when discussing something that includes you. He often does this by choice, as he wants to include you in many things as possible.

19. He’ll hold you or stand close when you’re in the presence of other men. It’s his way of “claiming” you, and subtly suggesting that other men should be aware of this.

20. He cherishes your opinions, even if they may starkly differ from his own. He’ll want to know what you think when making choices that involve you both.

21. He holds your hand or touches your back when walking in public. This is a subtle display of his protective and reassuring nature.

22. He has big dreams and always seems to include you. Maybe he mentions moving in together, buying a home, or having a child.

23. He quickly accommodates your needs, from the most minor thing – like needing a few more minutes to get ready, to the bigger things – such as taking time off work to care for you when sick.

24. He’s courteous and gentlemanly in everything he does with you.

25. He remembers your conversations, especially the things that you’ve said, even it took place a long time ago.

Two Words To Never Say To Someone When They’re Stressed Out

February 1, 2017 by Power of Positivity

How easy is it to get tongue-tied when suddenly approached by someone who is completely stressed out? When we’re in this frame of mind (and we all have been!), we’ll often spout some pretty aggressive language, or perhaps display our escalated frustrations by forgetting all etiquette relating to body language.

Indeed, it can be very difficult to know what to do and say in these cases. After all, there is no ‘framework’ for how to deal with stressed out people…and God forbid we say or do the wrong thing and become a newly-acquired target for their stressed-out antics!

When approached by someone in a stressed out frame of mind, it is as important (if not more) to know what not to say. Again, this can be a difficult predicament since all we want to do is help and make them feel better. Logically, we’d think that speaking some “pearls of wisdom” would make a person feel better.

Which brings us to the topic of this article: what not to say to someone that is about to blow a gasket. We’ll discuss a few techniques for listening and conversing with such a person. We’ll also discuss the TWO words never (ever!) to say to someone when they’re stressed out.

The thing to remember when you feel stressed…

The people most likely to approach you all stressed out are your friends. Not many of us desire to voice our stressors to some acquaintance or co-worker. With this in mind, it is important to consider that how we respond in this delicate situation can potentially affect the relationship moving forward.

The one thing to remember is this: the stressed person wants to vent and contemplate their feelings with you. Receiving advice is a distant second, in most cases. As such, the practice of active listening is essential.

Active listening is simply listening and conversing with someone in a mutually understandable way. One practices active listening by focusing intently when they’re speaking and – here is the hard part – not getting distracted by conversational pauses OR thinking about your response beforehand.

Using active listening in this situation is, in essence, a means of prevention – we’re preventing the escalation of an already tense situation. Further, we’re alleviating much of the pressure by not attempting to “fix” the problem. This is not to say that we won’t help in some way; but any conversational outcome with someone stressed is not the ultimate goal. In fact, it shouldn’t be considered a “goal” at all. Remember, it’s about them, not you.

In other words, a friend in a crisis doesn’t need “counseling” when they seek you out. They need a friend who’s willing to listen.

Framing the conversation

Okay, so we know that our stressed out friend will likely dominate the conversation – at least in the beginning. However, they will, at some point, expect you to interject with your thoughts.

This is when that all-important active listening will pay large dividends. When it’s your turn to speak, you already know the situation (right?) and can somewhat identify with you friend’s feelings (right?). If you can’t answer both of these questions with a definitive ‘Yes,’ then you must ask the person to reexplain. If this isn’t possible because of time constraints, elevated emotions, etc., then offer a time and place where you can focus on them, and them alone.

So here are a few tidbits when it’s your time to talk:

#1: Beware of ‘Why?’ questions

Asking ‘Why?’ about how someone is feeling can seem judgmental or condescending. The person may feel like you’re patronizing them, which is the last thing a stressed out person needs.

#2: Ask Open-ended questions

Opened-ended questions are those that cannot be answered by “yes” or “no”. Remember, they are coming to you because they want to explore their feelings. Open-ended questions allow them to do just that.

Open-ended questions accomplish three important things: (1) it shows that you’re actively listening, (2) that you care enough to inquire about their problems, and (3) allows the person to evaluate, rationalize and verbalize their (often complex) feelings.

#3: The TWO words to avoid

“Bob, you should be doing/feeling/thinking this/that/the other.” Saying ‘You should’ when somebody is emotionally vulnerable is not only selfish, it completely invalidates (and attempts to replace) their thoughts and feelings.

It’s basically saying “How you feeling/think is wrong, and you should do what I feel/think.” This is the act of a coach or a counselor, which isn’t appropriate in this scenario.

In closing…

Put simply: your stressed out friend is seeking you out for support. You saying the “right thing at the right time” is really not on their mind; if it is, then it’ an unfair expectation on their part. In fact, it’s a completely different discussion.

Be a friend, listen with attentiveness, be empathetic, be mindful of your words…and things will be fine. Both for them and for yourself.

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Why Libras Are Considered The Most Committed Partner In The Zodiac

1. Libras are intensely loyal.

2. They love making people happy.

3. Libras are extremely loving.

4. They are hopeless romantics.

5. Libras don’t like conflict.

Here are 5 “in the background” behaviors, attitudes, and circumstances that create insensitive people:

1. Brain Chemistry

2. Different Thought Patterns

3. Insensitive People Are Often Angry

4. Lack of Self Esteem

5. Stress Causes Insensitive People

10 Ways to Be More Sensitive to Others

1. Be a better listener

2. Show interest

3. Apologize when it’s necessary

4. Show empathy

5. Be willing to learn from others

6. Offer support

7. You remember people’s name

8. Use gracious words

9. Show that you care for others

10. Value the opinions of other people

Final Thoughts on Being Aware of the Behaviors That Cause Insensitive People

Source: Charité – Universitätsmedizin Berlin. Altered brain structure in pathological narcissism. (2013, June 19). Retrieved January 30, 2017, from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/06/130619101434.htm (C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Here’s the 5 signs a nice person secretly has negative intentions:

1. Conversations are always one-sided if someone has cruel intentions.

2. A person with cruel intentions may keep repeatedly making demands

3. Using persuasion as a game

4. Abnormal eye contact and body language

5. Feeling “bad” after talking with them

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

How To Train Your Brain To Stop Worrying

1. Stop your brain from worrying by writing it down.

2. Meditate for a worry-free brain.

3. Exercise to train your body and brain to stop worrying.

4. Practice mindfulness to stay present and reduce worry

5. Establish a regular sleep schedule to enhance mental well-being

6. Seek professional help when needed

Final Thoughts on Training Yourself to Stop Worrying

Here are 25 such signs that a man is confessing his love for you:

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

The thing to remember when you feel stressed…

Framing the conversation

So here are a few tidbits when it’s your time to talk:

#1: Beware of ‘Why?’ questions

#2: Ask Open-ended questions

#3: The TWO words to avoid

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Source: Charité – Universitätsmedizin Berlin. Altered brain structure in pathological narcissism. (2013, June 19). Retrieved January 30, 2017, from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/06/130619101434.htm
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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