Psychology Explains How Mindfulness Can Change What Happens In Your Life

January 19, 2023 by Lakeisha Ethans

Mindfulness is a way of life our ancestors used for thousands of years, especially in the Eastern world. But some doubted its efficacy, at least until a few decades ago. That being said, its benefits cannot be contested. Adding mindfulness to your life can make a significant difference. It can help you be more positive and see the world with new eyes.

And it has even been shown that mindfulness can alleviate mental health issues such as anxiety. Mindfulness is rooted in spirituality, a concept that people used way before the birth of modern psychology. But that doesn’t mean that it has no substance. Even if you aren’t a spiritual person, you can extract many benefits from practicing it.

Still, people are not quick to spend the necessary time to build a new habit, especially when that habit doesn’t align with their worldview. Today’s society values pragmatism and visible benefits over spirituality. And there is nothing inherently wrong with that. But this way of life comes with a price. It brings a lot of stress, making it hard for people to see what’s truly important. Life has become about career and hard work, which is not necessarily bad.

But that means people don’t have time for social interactions or developing their hobbies and interests. People wake up, go to work, come back home, finish their chores, and, by the time they finish with everything, it’s time for bed. Maybe they go out once or twice a week, but most of their free time is spent on work and trying to advance in their career. Even for those who are not as centered around work, there are still many reasons why things can be challenging.

Negativity is a mindset that many people have. Maybe it’s a product of how they were raised, or trauma and hardships gave them a reason to expect the worst. But this mentality, coupled with the stress of everyday life, can make people lose all hope. And this is where mindfulness comes into play. If you integrate it into your life, it will change things for the better.

What Is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness refers to the brain’s ability to be fully present and attuned to everything that’s going on around a person. It seems pretty simple if you skim over the definition. But it has a deeper substance. As you’ve undoubtedly picked up by now, it was first developed by people in Eastern societies. It has roots going back hundreds of years ago, as it was based on spirituality and even some religious beliefs.

That being said, mindfulness does not contain any specific religious ideas. So, you don’t have to be religious to try being more mindful. Still, it stems from Hindu and Buddhist traditions and incorporates many aspects of different meditation techniques. Since the 1970s, scientists have studied mindfulness’s therapeutic applications in clinical psychiatry and psychology.

Understanding Mindfulness

That was when people started to take it seriously, even in the Western world. But it still doesn’t get the credit it deserves, as people quickly dismiss it. Many people seem to think that mindfulness is just about willing yourself to be positive by ignoring the bad things and plastering on a smile. But that’s not what it is. Positivity is a big part of mindfulness, but there are mindful techniques to achieve a more positive mindset.

One of the most effective techniques is thought replacement. If you are one of the people who are prone to being skeptical about such practices, rest assured that this one is based on science. The way you think is one of the most important ways to change the course of your life. Your mindset can give you the strength to take matters into your own hands and act.

But most people get stuck in their ways, which are harmful more often than not. As mentioned before, negativity is one of the biggest threats to the integrity and health of a person. And yet most people seem to default to such a mindset. This is because life can throw so many obstacles in your path that it can be hard to believe things can be anything but hard.

But, no matter how farfetched it might seem, you can manifest a better life. Sure, you can’t just wish for something and expect it to fall into your lap immediately. But, if you envision exactly how your life will look, you can work towards achieving that dream. And for that, you need to learn to be more mindful.

How Mindfulness Can Change What Happens In Your Life

1. It Helps You Clear Your Mind

Meditation is a big part of mindfulness. If you want to start a more mindful life, meditate daily or even twice daily. And no, contrary to popular belief, meditation isn’t just a time-consuming, useless game. It’s a technique that improves both mental and physical health.

And you can do it in as little as five minutes if strapped for time. Even those few minutes will help you clear your mind so that you can focus better. Meditation aims to block all distractions and focus solely on your mind and body. All you need to do is sit comfortably and close your eyes. If you are in a quiet room, that’s even better. But anything works if you’re in a pinch.

Focus on your breathing and use that rhythm as an anchor to get in tune with your senses. The aim is to allow yourself to feel and let your sensations take over. This will enable you to clear your head and be present, at one with your body. Not only does it help to manage your mental health, but it can give you some much-needed respite from daily struggles.

2. It Inspires Positivity

As was already mentioned, mindfulness is deeply tied to positivity. But you might be wondering why that is. A mindful person takes time to be present and enjoy the small things in life. But that doesn’t automatically mean that you will combat your negative outlook. Most people who are pessimists strongly believe that there is nothing good they can extract from life.

This might be because the only thing they have ever known are hardships. Maybe they were mistreated or abused by people who were supposed to love them. Maybe they lost everything they ever worked for. Or maybe that’s how their parents raised them to think. Negativity is a defense mechanism that many people use. But it is contingent on releasing the past and embracing the future.

Mindfulness can save you from a pessimistic mindset your whole life. You can focus on small things that bring you joy by directing your attention to the present. Plus, part of learning to be more mindful is incorporating some exercises into your life, such as thought replacement. This is an easy exercise that only requires that you keep a journal. You can achieve this without the journal, but it’s not as effective.

Whenever you have a negative thought, you need to write it down in the journal. Then, rewrite it as something positive. Do this with all the negative thoughts you have. That way, you can create a habit of creating positive thoughts. You will have your journal that you can read whenever you feel overly pessimistic. By being more positive in your daily life, you will have the courage to follow your dreams and create the life you want.

3. It Improves Your Quality of Life

One of the main reasons why people end up struggling with stress is because they worry too much about things that are out of their control. And they don’t take the time to be grateful for what they’ve already achieved. If someone worked for months to get a promotion, they wouldn’t take the time to celebrate that victory.

They will probably start working overtime to get the next promotion. So, the stress will build and build until it creates serious mental and physical health issues. Or maybe your source of stress and pain is that you don’t get along with your family and feel alone. Even if you have a great life, you still should make sure that you do whatever you can to keep yourself in shape.

Whenever your mind drifts to the past or starts worrying about the future, you should pull yourself back to the present. If you feel like you’re drifting, taking a moment to take in your surroundings is good. Instead of focusing on intrusive thoughts, try to focus on a sound or an image. It doesn’t matter what, as long as it can anchor you into the present.

This will help you if you struggle with overthinking or anxiety. Plus, the more you live in the present, the more grateful you’ll be for the things you have. Besides bringing you a lot of joy, this will improve your physical well-being and, thus, the quality of your life.

Final Thoughts on How Mindfulness Can Change What Happens In Your Life

If you’re struggling with taking your life into your own hands, mindfulness can be the improvement you’ve been looking for. Incorporating this into your worldview will improve your mental and physical health. But that’s not the only benefit of being positive.

The more mindful you are, the more likely you’ll be to take a chance on things and do the things you’ve been yearning to do. If you learn to live in the present, you’ll be more likely to take a chance at something new. You’ll have the courage to try a new hobby or go out more and meet new people.

Plus, you’ll have a more positive outlook on life, allowing you to do things without letting fear hold you back. Whatever you want your life to be, you’ll be able to achieve it.

10 Phrases to Never Ignore From a Man

January 19, 2023 by Power of Positivity

Many couples go throughout the day on autopilot, and it’s only natural that you might miss some statements that your partner says to you. Sometimes you have a million things on your mind, and you hear what they’re saying, but you don’t truly hear them. Your man needs you to listen to him, as there are some phrases that he says you should never ignore.

Women, too, sometimes speak in coded phrases. However, the things they say differ significantly; thus, we address the secret language of women in a separate article.

Pay Close Attention to These Phrases a Man Might Say

How many times have you pretended to listen when your man speaks? You might use filler words like, yeah, uh-huh, and other such terms. These phrases make it appear that you’re listening to him.

However, over time relationships where communication is lackluster will falter. He needs you to hear what he’s saying, even if it’s just talking about his day. Here are some common phrases that indicate that you need to put everything down and tune into your man.

1. “I Need You to Listen to Me.”

Usually, when a man uses this phrase, there’s a sense of urgency and aggravation behind it. It’s possible he is tired of competition with your cell phone, the children, and other things that distract you from hearing him. Maybe he had a bad day at work and needs a few moments of your time.

When your partner asks you to focus on only him, it’s a good indication that he feels you’re not communicating well and listening to him. In these moments, you need to shut off the rest of the world for just a few minutes and give him your undivided attention.

2. “I Don’t Need Another Mother.”

Ouch! This is one of those phrases that sting a bit. Essentially, your man tells you that you’re acting like his mother. It’s not that he’s saying his mother wasn’t a good person, but he is trying to tell you that he’s not a child.

Women have a mother instinct, and you can do nothing to stop those feelings. However, while it’s challenging to remember that your spouse is not someone you can order around, it can ruin relationships when you bark orders.

3. “This Isn’t Working Anymore.”

Relationships on the rocks will often be turbulent long before someone calls it quits. Your man might say little things to you that indicate that he’s near his breaking point. When he says something to you that suggests that things aren’t working anymore, this is the time that you need to take action.

Though it’s easy to sweep phrases like this under the rug and hope he comes to his senses, you don’t know how close he is to walk out the door. When you hear such statements, it’s time to get counseling or do something to reset the relationship.

According to the CDC, in 2020, there were 1,676,911 marriages in the US. Sadly, there were also roughly 630,505 divorces. Relationships are a struggle, so you need to put real work into things to make sure you last.

4. “I Hate You.”

Remember when you were in school, and you said things like, “Sticks and stones break bones, but words don’t hurt?” Wow, if any phrase was untrue, it was this one. When your man says something as hurtful as they hate you, there’s something fundamentally wrong in your relationship.

One of two things has happened to cause him to use this phrase. First, he’s telling you that he is finished and that your relationship is so bad he has moved from disgust to hate. Second, he might be using such a shocking statement in a childish attempt to hurt or get back at you for something.

Whatever his reasoning, saying things like “I hate you” can cut as deep as a knife. Using such hurtful statements to your partner is never okay, as it puts a wedge between you. However, using phrases like this means something is wrong with the relationship or with him emotionally, and both need to be addressed.

5. “I Need Some Time Apart.”

He’s asking to take a break from the relationship. Why does he need time away from you? Is he having mental issues, and the chaos in the home with the children and everything else is too much? Possibly he wants time away to think.

If you’ve been fighting a lot and things aren’t going so well, he may want some time away to gather his thoughts. He may consider a trial separation to see how things go with you two living separate lives.

It’s also possible that he doesn’t mean anything profound when he states he needs time. It’s perfectly healthy for couples to spend time apart, especially if they’re always together. Maybe he wants some time with his friends. Listening to statements like this is essential because they should be followed up with conversation and some clarification.

6. “I Wish I Never Met You.”

Some statements are so hurtful that they knock the wind right out of you. When your partner tells you they wish they had never met you, they want to erase history and redo it without you. This statement also shows that your partner is blaming everything wrong in his life back on you.

Does this person have a narcissistic personality disorder where blame-shifting is commonplace? Commenting on this is cause for alarm as it shows he’s spiteful or childish.

7. “My Needs Aren’t Being Met.”

It’s no secret that most men have a high libido. If your partner comes to you and says that your sex life is lacking, it’s something you need to fix. There may be underlying factors like medical problems, exhaustion, no time, and children that dominate the home.

However, when he’s coming to you telling you that his sexual needs aren’t being fulfilled, you need to act. If you’re not fulfilling your man’s needs, he may look elsewhere to satisfy these cravings. Old-fashioned adultery is becoming more commonplace as times are changing, and according to The University of Utah, 20 % of married couples over the age of 55 admit to infidelity.

Unless you have an open relationship where you deem such things acceptable, you must fix these issues causing a lackluster love life.

8. “You’re Being Ridiculous.”

When a man tells you you’re being ridiculous, he does not understand your point of view. In a relationship, it’s essential to see your partner’s perspective. While you may disagree, you should at least validate the other person’s feelings.

You may be over-analyzing something and are being ridiculous. If this statement isn’t said in malice, it’s okay for your partner to bring you back to reality. Having a partner who can tell you when you’re about to go off the deep end is a good thing. Ensure he’s not using this to demean you or how you feel.

9. “I’m Worried About You.”

When you’re in a committed relationship where you spend lots of time together, it’s only natural for you to see each other at your best and worst. You must listen if your man tells you he’s concerned for you. He’s likely seeing things that worry him with his mental or physical health.

He’s giving you an open invitation to talk about what’s wrong or urging you to get help. Typically, when they make such a comment, it’s something you already know. However, if you feel fine and everything is going well, you must beware that he might be trying to gaslight you.

10. “I Am Sorry, Forgive Me.”

There are no perfect relationships, but it’s humble when your partner can admit they’re wrong. Many people won’t realize they’ve done anything inappropriate, even if you show them proof. The fact that he tells you that he’s made a mistake and needs you to forgive him means volumes.

Of course, it depends on the grievance of the offense and whether you’re willing to forgive him, but at least he’s humbling himself and showing his vulnerability to you.

Final Thoughts on Important Phrases Men Use in Relationships

When you’re in love with someone, it’s only natural that you want to see the best in them. How many times have you let red flags wave in front of your face only to ignore them? Love has an innate ability to make you turn off your logic and forget things that you shouldn’t let slide.

You want to focus on all the good parts but can’t just glaze over all the bad stuff. When your man uses statements that are verbal red flags, you need to listen and respond. Don’t let him get by telling you things like “I hate you.”

Sure, he has a point of view just like everyone else, but it’s never an excuse to be verbally abusive or to use toxic techniques to get you under control. Relationships take work, and communication is imperative.

15 Signs of a Strong Man

January 18, 2023 by Power of Positivity

What makes a strong man exceptional and a pillar of strength amongst others? He knows what he wants from life and won’t stop until he gets it. He sets goals and achieves them without hesitation.

While most people think of strength as how much a man can bench at the gym, having mental power is about so much more. Resilience allows a man to rise in the face of significant opposition, and he keeps going even when he wants to check out. He’s a special breed, as he’s strong and won’t take a back seat to anyone. He shows strength with a strong dose of compassion–never toxic or arrogant.

NOTE: If you would like to understand the signs of a strong woman better, we address them in a separate article.

Fifteen Signs That Indicate Someone Is a Strong Man

A strong man can be resilient without being arrogant or rubbing others wrong. Those who know his love to be around him because he’s kind and patient, but he’s far from weak. What behaviors do you think a strong man should display? Here are fifteen of the most common traits observed.

1. Promotes Peace Over Violence

Some men think violence is the answer when there’s a heated issue. However, the strong man knows that using his muscles doesn’t resolve anything. Guys like this use their minds and heart when a situation is intense rather than being aggressive.

It’s easy for some to see this man as weak, as he uses his words and not his fist. However, he also has wisdom and knows that he would rather find a compromise than wage a war. He promotes understanding and peace above all else.

2. Displays Quiet Confidence

A weak man showcases his attributes of pride and ego, but a strong man knows that true confidence is silent. There’s no need for him to show off and cause a scene. He’s learned that he can get his point across by using a calm demeanor and being a good influence rather than a bad one.

3. Isn’t Afraid to Show his Emotions

Throughout history, men who showed any emotions were considered weak by society. Thankfully, things have changed, and men feel more apt to show their vulnerabilities without judgment. A strong man has no problem showing his emotion to those close to him, as he knows it’s a healthy release when he lets go of pent-up feelings.

4. Owns Up to His Mistakes

He’s resilient but not in an argument. He knows when he’s in the wrong and will admit when he’s made a mistake. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, as he’s far too caring and kind for that behavior.

He’s strong enough within himself to admit when he’s done something wrong, and he wants to make it right. People respect him because he’s honest and doesn’t deny or play the blame game.

5. Doesn’t Try to Please Everyone

It’s impossible to please everyone, but a man with strength knows that it’s okay for there to be people who don’t like him. He’s confident enough that he doesn’t need everyone’s approval. Social rejection can be challenging for some folks, but the guy with mental strength knows it’s just part of life.

11. A Strong Man Has a Healthy Self-Esteem

When a man is strong mentally, he’s often misunderstood as haughty or arrogant. He’s not a narcissist, but he doesn’t lack assurance.

His self-confidence is intact, but he would never be disrespectful to others, wherein lies the difference between strong men and those with toxic personalities. He knows his strengths and weaknesses and how to handle praise and learn from rejection.

6. Knows That Learning is a Continuous Journey

You never stop learning, regardless of your age. A strong man knows that his life is one continuous learning journey, and he’s along for the ride. He embraces new ideas and other people’s opinions.

He knows that a fresh way to do things might save time or money. He has his preferences, but he’s not so set in his ways that he can’t be persuaded to gain a fresh perspective.

7. A Strong Man Thinks Before He Acts

Reacting to anger can cause real issues, but the strong guy knows he can’t use rush judgments. He wants to act or respond by using the best interests of the situation. A study conducted by Southwest Missouri State University found that men and women are diverse in how they use their anger.

Men tend to embrace these overwhelming feelings, but ladies think that being angry is counterproductive. Strong men know that while they might accept these emotions, they’re not going to let them overcome them. They try to hold their composure even in the most intense situations.

8. Has Good Communication

One of the goals of any relationship is to have good communication. Speaking about the issues is easy when you’re with a strong man. He knows that if he wants to keep his partner happy and have a successful life with her, he must learn to talk about the things that bother him.

Women are more likely to let misunderstandings and hurt feelings fester, but strong men want to address them quickly. He’s a great listener, and he wants to hear your point of view.

9. A Strong Man Is Patient

He knows it will take you longer than him to get ready to go out to dinner, but he waits patiently. He understands that you might be more emotional, so he listens.

His patience and kindness don’t go unnoticed. He will not lose his temper because dinner is 30 minutes late, nor will he resort to fits of rage because things don’t go his way.

10. He’s Nurturing

Women are often considered nurturers by nature, but many men are just as nurturing. According to an article published by the American University of Sharjah, family structures have altered in the past couple of decades. It’s not uncommon for men to raise children without the help of a spouse these days.

The article referenced a man who successfully raised six kids when his wife died. Studies have proven that men can be good mothers, too, especially if they tend to be nurturing and strong.

11. A Stong Man Has a Healthy Self-Esteem

When a man is strong mentally, he’s often misunderstood as haughty or arrogant. He’s not a narcissist, but he doesn’t lack assurance. His self-confidence is intact, but he would never be disrespectful to others, wherein lies the difference between strong men and those with toxic personalities.

He knows his strengths and weaknesses well and knows how to handle praise and learn from rejection.

12. Shows Empathy and Compassion

Part of his strength comes from how he cares for others. A mentally strong man shows empathy. Just because he sympathizes with you doesn’t mean he agrees with things you’ve done or said, but he tries to see your point of view.

Strong men put themselves in the shoes of others to see how they might feel, think, and react to situations. Compassion runs congruently with empathy, as part of understanding others is to feel sympathy for those genuinely hurting.

13. He’s Flexible and Can Adapt to Change

His strength comes from living and adjusting to the tides of life. He’s flexible and adaptable because he knows life is constantly changing. When the winds of change blow, he doesn’t get bent out of shape, as he knows there will be ebbs and flows.

He’s learned how to adapt and not fall to pieces when things go wrong. He tries not to worry or obsess about things beyond his control. He deals with each situation as it comes.

14. He Respects Boundaries

A strong man knows that boundaries are the foundation of any healthy relationship. He has limitations, and he expects his partner to have them too. He will respect your boundaries and wants you to do the same.

If you crossed one of these confines, he would view it as infringing on his rights. However, he’s willing to talk it out and forgive.

15. He Knows How to Say “No”

A man that will tell you “No” is strong, as he knows his limits. He is comfortable using this word that so many avoid, and he feels no shame or guilt.

If someone tries to put more on his plate than he can handle, he will stand up for himself. He knows when his emotional responsibility ends and feels liberation and freedom by using this simple two-letter word.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Key Traits of a Strong Man

The strong man knows precisely what he wants out of life. He feels comfortable in his skin and knows who he is and where he’s going. While he wants to make a good living and have money, he’s not invested in material wealth.

His inner strength comes from knowing that people are more important than the greatest riches. He strives to do what makes him happy, all while staying on the path to accomplishing his dreams. Being in a relationship with this man feels like destiny.

As a partner, he’s forgiving, has good communication skills, and is empathetic toward your needs. He’ll encourage, love, and devote his time to making you happy. Finding a man of this caliber and strength is a treasure indeed.

You Must Give Kindness Before You Receive It

January 18, 2023 by Sarah Barkley

When you want to experience more compassion and kindness, you must spread it to those around you. Being kind to others can make you feel good and improves the world. It also helps you attract kindness from yourself and others.

Kindness is about being genuine in your intentions to help others feel safe, comfortable, and understood. It requires giving and helping without expecting anything from the other person. Even when you’re not near the people you care about, you can spread warmth to those around you.

Kindness manifests itself in being nice to others and yourself. Being kind to others involves doing things that make people smile. Being nice to yourself is essential, too.

Why You Must Give Kindness Before Others Can Be Kind to You

Kindness is a powerful way to change the world. It’s a beautiful act of love for yourself and those around you. Being kind involves all the ways you show care, concern, and consideration.

Being nice to others can be refreshing and rejuvenating. It can give you the strength and perseverance to overcome your troubles. You’ll find your greatest joys and recognize the beauty in the world around you when you’ve experienced kindness from yourself or others.

Kindness is a choice that involves helping others. It can change the world when you could choose anger or negative emotions but decide to be nice instead. People might test you, and things may upset you, but you can still choose to be nice and exhibit positivity.

Kindness is an act of love and can form meaningful experiences and relationships. It’s a way to change the world and improve who you are. Being kind is also a path to happiness and a way to attract compassion.

Kindness is contagious because when people witness it, they’re more likely to be nice to others. When people see a kind act, it can trigger them to do random acts of kindness and improve the day of countless people.

The more often you show compassion to others, the easier it becomes. You can make it a habit and teach yourself to respond to others when they need help.

When you’re kind to others, you attract what you put into the world. It means you receive kindness and compassion in return, and it triggers a change in the lives of those around you. Your behavior can help change the world and make it better for everyone.

Seven Benefits of Kindness

There are many benefits of being nice, and you won’t regret any of them. It improves your mental and physical health while boosting your overall well-being.

1 – Improves Heart Health

When you engage in or witness an act of kindness, it triggers oxytocin production. Oxytocin is a hormone that can help lower blood pressure and improve your heart health. This hormone also triggers the release of nitric oxide, dilating the blood vessels and protecting your heart.

2 – Improves Self-Esteem and Optimism

You’ll feel better about yourself and the future when treating others well. Being kind allows you to recognize the good in yourself and see a positive future ahead.

3 – Feeling Less Depressed, Stressed, or Anxious

Experts say you’ll feel less depressed, stressed, and anxious when you make kindness a habit. It triggers serotonin production, a common component of many medical antidepressants. Being nice also improves life satisfaction and self-realization.

Studies show that anxious people experienced fewer signs of anxiety after performing regular acts of kindness. It improved their moods, benefited their relationships, and reduced social anxiety symptoms.

4 – Increases Happiness

Being kind and helping others can make you happier. Research indicates that generous people are the happiest. It shows that being nice to others allows you to receive it in return.

5 – Triggers Feelings of Pleasure

Being kind to others triggers your brain’s pleasure and reward centers. You’ll feel as good as if you received a good deed rather than giving in.

6 – Kindness Encourages Positive Change

Kindness spreads between people, being a catalyst for positivity. It encourages people to be genuine and more compassionate. When people witness nice acts, their urge to be kind gets stronger.

7 – Makes People Feel Valued

Kindness makes people feel valued, motivating them to become their best version. They’ll see that there’s good in the world and that they can contribute to positivity. It also encourages you to see beyond your setbacks and recognize your potential.

How to Be Kind to Others

Being kind isn’t hard because there are many ways to do it. It can involve smiling at someone to brighten their day or checking in with a friend who needs support.

Being nice to others doesn’t require making plans or doing anything extravagant. Sometimes the smallest acts make the biggest difference, making any situation an opportunity for being nice.

Being nice requires being aware of those around you and recognizing opportunities. Avoid becoming absorbed in your thoughts, or you might miss a chance for kindness. It also requires not being judgmental of someone’s situation.

You must also be:

friendly
generous
considerate
unconditional

Some acts of kindness include the following:

giving a supportive smile
offering a comforting embrace
being supportive when someone needs it the most
giving heartfelt words of encouragement
offering thoughtful gestures of affection
being compassionately generous
helping someone carry their things

Being Kind to Yourself

Being kind to yourself is essential, too. It’s easy to forget about being nice to yourself when focused on those around you. However, you deserve it just as much as everyone else does.

Love yourself unconditionally and be as nice to yourself as you would to those around you. It encourages you to become the best version of yourself and inspires others to do the same.

You also must take care of yourself if you want to continue giving to others. Focusing on everyone else and never thinking of yourself can lead to burnout and negativity. Some of the ways you can be kind to yourself are by:

building self-awareness and listening to yourself
praising yourself and recognizing what you’re good at
disconnecting from technology for a while
spending time in nature
being generous with yourself
avoiding comparison
limiting negative self-talk
spending quiet time alone to recharge

7 Quotes About Kindness

When you need some encouragement to be kind or want a reminder of the importance, reading quotes can help.

1 – “A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.” – Joseph Joubert

Joubert explains that being nice to others sometimes requires showing more love than people deserve. People might not always do the right thing, but you can always choose kindness.

2 – “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.” – Princess Diana

Do something kind for another person, and don’t expect anything from them. It might not happen immediately, but eventually, someone will return the gesture.

3 – “Remember, there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” – Scott Adams

You don’t have to plan anything to be nice to those around you. Don’t hesitate to act when you see an opportunity to be nice because it can help change the world.

4 – “Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.” – Barbara De Angelis

Remember this quote if you ever feel like you wasted your time or love by being nice to someone. It makes a difference whether you realize it or not.

5 – “Every small, unselfish action nudges the world into a better path. An accumulation of small acts can change the world.” – Robin Hobb

Doing small things to improve the world affects those around you. It encourages others to be nice, leading to your actions benefitting many people.

6 – “Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.” – Wes Angelozzi

One of the best ways to be nice to someone is to love them without expecting them to change. When you appreciate them for who they are, they’ll become an even better version of themselves. It encourages them to go out into the world and spread positivity.

7 – “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” – Desmond Tutu

You can be nice to others no matter where you are. Smile at strangers, hold the door for those behind you and look for every opportunity to do something compassionate.

Final Thoughts on You Must Give Kindness Before You Receive It

When you want to receive kindness, you must give it to yourself and those around you. It’ll help you feel better about your life and make the world better for everyone. When you’re kind to others, you attract the same treatment in return. You might not receive it from the person you gave it to, but you’ll experience it soon. Remember the importance of being nice, and it’ll make a difference.

Psychology Explains Why Quality Friendships Are More Important Than Knowing Everyone

January 18, 2023 by Lakeisha Ethans

Friendships are one of the most beautiful parts of life. Having friends gives us purpose, allows us to have fun, and grants us the opportunity to expand our thinking. Humans are social creatures and need a community to live a healthy and happy life. Unfortunately, sometimes friendship becomes twisted into a social marker or a measurement rather than a group of people who care about your well-being.

The more friends we have, and the stronger their reputation is, the more our social status will climb as well. But is it worth it to neglect genuine friendships in hopes of being the most popular person? The short answer is no. Forming superficial relationships is rarely beneficial.

It might leave you feeling good in the short term, but when you realize that your friendships are only surface-deep, you will realize you are missing that integral piece of human connection. Conversely, quality friendships have been proven to have lasting positive impacts throughout one’s lifetime. Read on to discover how psychology explains why quality should rein over quantity regarding friendship.

Psychology Explains Why Quality Friendships Are Important

1. It Is Difficult For The Human Brain To Maintain A High Number Of Friendships

Through Dunbar’s number theory, psychology experts explain the brain’s capacity for friendship and human connections. Dunbar’s number suggests that humans only can store information about 150 people at one time. That might seem like a significant number; however, this theory also suggests that the higher the number of friendships, the lower the quality of those friendships.

That is because it is difficult to remember the minute details of someone when you have a large number of friends that you need to remember information. Consequently, large quantities of friends can lead to more shallow relationships. Although updated research has suggested that Dunbar’s number is more variable than initial studies, the premise is relevant nonetheless. When we have many friends, the number of meaningful interactions with each friend decreases even if the number of interactions overall increases.

When you have a lot of friends, you might always have someone willing to hang out with you as soon as you whip out your phone and shoot out a few texts, but you might not have precious friends who remember small but significant things about yourself. For example, quality friends remember your birthday, the special moments in your life, what kinds of TV shows you love, and your favorite pizza topping.

Likewise, if you only have a few quality friends, you are more likely to remember interesting elements of their lives and personalities. This can create a feeling of pride in who you are friends with. While a quantity friendship might mean a superficial sense of pride when you have friends in high places, a quality friendship creates pride in your friend’s accomplishments and the ways they enrich your life.

2. Quantity Leads To Loneliness

Research suggests that friendships based on quantity can lead to loneliness, especially in the older adult population. However, when examining relationships between family and lifelong friends, they found that even if there were only a handful of people in one’s life, it was better than being friends with every neighbor on the street or every member of the country club.

It might seem like family should be enough to fulfill your social and psychological needs. Still, psychology suggests that quality friendships are some of the most important relationships you can foster in your lifetime. This leads to loneliness because opening up around people you do not know can be challenging.

Typically, a person only shares as much as you share with them, making it challenging to develop a deeper understanding of a person if you only see them a couple of times a month or for a few minutes when you’re walking down the driveway. As a result, you might often feel unseen or that your friends do not truly understand or know you even when you have conversations.

One of the most prominent aspects of friendship is feeling like there is a core group of people who not only want to spend time with you. But they value you for your uniqueness and individuality. Unfortunately, it is not until you know someone well and for a larger chunk of time that you get a clear idea of who they are. This is when high-quality friendships develop, and feelings of loneliness decrease.

3. Support In Times Of Need

Quality friends are more likely to help you in times of need. This is emphasized because they probably know the best ways to help you. Maybe your friends wouldn’t mind giving you a ride to a party or coming to check on you when you’re not feeling the greatest. If you focus on quantity, several friends might be willing to help you on a whim when you need it.

But there is a key difference between helping and doing something nice or considerate and providing substantial and lasting support. You will develop a much stronger support system with fewer friends who are of high quality. For example, your friend might make you a meal, drive to your house, and pop on your favorite movie when you’re not feeling well. They might go out of their way to pick you up from the airport or to sit through the night with you when you’re down and out.

It is important to note that it is not only their presence that is important. It is also what their company offers you. If it is comfortable and they seem to know what you need, that is a sign of a quality friend—having a support system to fall back on when you are experiencing troubles in your other relationships. It can be easy to rely on romantic or familial relationships for lasting support. Still, unfortunately, there are times when these relationships fall through, and you might be left feeling like you have no one to turn to.

A quality friend is someone you can rely on and speak about matters such as this with confidence. Comparatively, if you have many different friends, there might be nobody to lean on when experiencing difficulties in your other interpersonal relationships.

4. Quality Friends Combat Depressive Thoughts

Experts have found that older people who maintain quality friendships are less prone to depressive thoughts than older people whose main social network consists of family, acquaintances, and friends who are high in number. This is especially important because mental health issues can become significant as we age.

Aging is a difficult process that brings unique challenges, such as health issues, mobility problems, and psychological struggles. However, this research indicates that maintaining a close-knit group of friends can help avoid falling victim to mental illnesses like depression.

Another interesting aspect of this is that, in some ways, quality friendships can be even more beneficial than familial relationships. This makes sense when you consider the other psychological phenomena discussed so far because the older you get, the more family relationships are formed. Because family is shifting and changing, having stable and reliable friendships makes a world of difference as we age.

Quality friends also help combat depressive thoughts because they give us things to look forward to and a reason to keep thriving. If you have many friends, chances are they would be okay to move on if anything ever happened to you. This can lead to feelings of insignificance and low self-worth. But having high-quality friends might instill a sense of responsibility and eagerness to live life to the fullest, even when you are trying.

5. Quality Friendships Are Energizing Rather Than Draining

As we grow, our time and energy begin to diminish. Keeping up with those relationships can be exhausting if we have poured all our resources into creating a broad network of friends. Unfortunately, this leads to many friendships drifting apart as we age. Therefore, it is essential to fill our time with quality friendships that make us feel excited and energized rather than inauthentic friendships that we have to dole out energy towards to maintain.

Another aspect of this is that once you know a friend well, it is easy to let your guard down and be your true self around them. This means you have to focus less on smiling and being pleasant 24/7. A real friend will understand if sometimes you make mistakes, say the wrong thing, or are having a bad day. Therefore, we can share all parts of life with them, the good and the bad.

Those relationships are energizing and uplifting when we can be authentic and genuine around friends. Conversely, putting on a facade because our friends are not accepting or do not know the more negative aspects of ourselves can take a toll on our energy and mental health. Try thinking about how you feel after spending time with one of your friends.

If you find that you are exhausted and feel heavy even if you only met them for coffee, that is a sign that they might not be the best fit for a lasting friendship. On the other hand, if spending time with them helps relieve stress and excites you to see them again, that is a friendship to which you should devote time and hold on.

Final Thoughts About Why Quality Friendships Are More Important Than Popularity

Psychology research affirms the notion that quality friends are more important than quantity. Try evaluating the reasons you feel drawn towards collecting many friends. Often, these reasons revolve around social status and wanting to feel like you are popular. If you shift your focus to developing a few reliable, deep, and precious friendships, it is guaranteed that you will have more healthy relationships, happy friendships, and people who are there for you when times get tough.

10 Simple Reminders Every Single Man Needs to Hear

January 18, 2023 by Chris Butler

The single man often feels left out, especially if everyone around him has relationships and he hasn’t found his soul mate. Maybe all his friends and family in his age group are getting married and having kids, and he’s not there yet. He may also be in a position where he’s not ready for relationships because he’s married to his job.

Being career-focused is a good thing, but sometimes it gets lonely. Guys are known for their rough and rugged exteriors, but inside they can be as soft as a marshmallow. They need you to stroke their egos and let them know that you’re there through whatever turbulence life throws their way. If you’re part of the inner circle of a single man, he needs you to encourage and help him navigate through life.

Women, too, often need to hear some wake-up calls. However, because their behavior differs from men, we addressed that in a companion article.

Ten Things a Single Man Wants to Hear

The longer you live on this earth, the more wisdom you gain. Going through the school of hard knocks can undoubtedly teach you a few lessons. If you have a single guy in your life who hasn’t figured it all out yet, he needs your help.

He needs sage advice that can only come from someone who’s already been down this path. Here are some things he needs to hear from you.

1. “Don’t Rush into Any Relationship – Wait for the Right One.”

It’s not unnatural for men to feel like true love will never happen for them. A man must know their time will come, but they must be patient. Additionally, remind them that the dating world is much like a day of fishing on the lake.

They may catch several small bluegills that aren’t worth keeping before they reel in that giant catfish. Patience is necessary with affairs of the heart, and he must remember it’s okay to be single. There’s never any reason to rush, as when they find someone that fits, they will know it.

2. “An Active Social Life Is Necessary for a Single.”

While it’s okay for a single man to spend some time alone to recharge his batteries, he needs a social life. Your inner circle is the people who strengthen you and make you a better person. Life will be mundane if you don’t have anything to look forward to or exciting to do.

A single man sometimes needs a little push to get out there and mingle, as this is how he can meet new and exciting people. Additionally, staying behind four walls and playing video games isn’t mentally healthy.

3. “Self-Care Is for Single Men Too.”

Why do people think it’s odd for a man to do self-care? It’s okay to have a manicure/pedicure and to make himself feel and look fantastic. There are no rules that say pampering yourself is something only a woman can do. Relationships make you appreciate self-care, and a lady loves when a man takes good care of himself.

Some studies back up this statement, including one from Southern New Hampshire University. Researchers say Americans are eager to work long hours and pass on vacation days, which can affect their mental health. Taking time to care for his needs can help prevent burnout, depression, anxiety, and resentment. So, it’s okay for the single man to take time to do what he likes to do, as his mental health depends on it.

4. “See The World Before You Settle Down.”

While most people want to settle down into family life, it’s essential to get out there and see the world. Once there are children and a wife, there’s little time or energy to get out there. The single man must make a bucket list and check off the most important things.

There’s always more time and money when he’s single, so he needs to take advantage of it. Relationships and family are great, but they’re restrictive too. He needs to see the world before he settles down.

5. “Never Let Anyone Pressure You into Anything.”

The single man will experience a lot of peer pressure. If you thought stuff like that was only reserved for high school, it’s not the case. Friends and family members will pressure people to do things they don’t want.

Whether it’s dating someone or something illegal doesn’t matter. He mustn’t make choices in a moment of weakness that will affect him for the rest of his life.

6. “Find Yourself as a Single Man Before You Look for Love.”

Relationships take a lot out of people, even the good ones. However, before anyone heads into a commitment, they must first fall in love with themselves. A single guy may have many regrets and things they wish they had done differently.

Encourage the single guy that it’s essential he falls in love with himself and is secure with good self-esteem. It’s a recipe for disaster if he tries to bring another person into his life without first being at peace with who he is.

7. “Know Your Worth.”

Everyone has value, and he’ll be happy when he knows his worth and believes it. Worth is not dollars and cents as in monetary means, as it’s more profound than money. As a human being, he has many gifts and callings, which are priceless gifts he offers to the world.

People who don’t understand their worth often say “yes” to situations when they should have said “no.” Knowing your worth lets you feel satisfied and comfortable in your skin, enabling you to love deeply. No one in this world knows your worth as you do, so the single guy must get in touch with his true value.

8. “It’s Not How Many Times You Stumble in Life That Matters.”

If a single man never made a mistake, he would be perfect. Sadly, there are no perfect people in the world, so there’s a reason why individuals make errors. If you never stumbled, would you ever learn to walk?

If you walk into any high-end department store, you will likely see the brand name Vera Wang. You probably don’t think anything of it, as she’s another famous designer. However, you don’t realize that she was an ice skater before becoming a well-known wedding gown artist, according to Biography.

Her skating career was average, and she was crushed when she didn’t fulfill her dream of making it into the US Olympic team. She left skating to work for Vogue, as her heart was always in designing clothes. Things didn’t go so well for her, as she tried to become editor-in-chief and was denied this position.

She worked as a senior fashion editor for over fifteen years and felt she deserved a more profound role in the company. Down but not out, she left Vogue and went to work for Ralph Lauren. When she found love and wanted to be married, she decided to make her own wedding dress. She used modern designs with traditional elegance to create a masterpiece.

From this point, she became famous for her gowns, but over the years, her popularity has grown into a company worth around $650 million. Wang was knocked down a few times, but she kept pursuing her passion until she got where she wanted. Remind your single guy friend that with love and relationships come mistakes, but he can rise above them. He can do and be anything he wants in this life, but it takes tenacity and determination.

9. “Flirt but Limit the Dirt.”

It’s okay to flirt and have fun but be careful who you get involved with in life. One-night stands seem like a good idea for the single guy, but they can turn into a nightmare. Relationships can get dirty if neither party has the right intentions. While most guys want to sow their wild oats, remind him that he needs to be selective about who he invites into his bed.

10. “It’s Okay to Be Single–You Don’t Have Everything Figured Out Yet.”

As a single man ages, it’s only natural for him to feel he should know everything. Oh, to have the stubbornness of an 18-year-old who thinks they have the whole world figured out.

In your twenties, you realize there are bills and significant responsibilities, and you’re finding out about relationships and what to avoid. By the time your 30s roll around, you’re learning that your parents were right about many things. Assure him that it’s okay if he doesn’t know it all and makes some mistakes along the way.

He should never put unnecessary pressure on himself to do or be something he can’t. With age comes wisdom, and with knowledge comes understanding and compassion for yourself and others.

Final Thoughts on Saying the Right Thing to a Single Man

The single guy in your life needs you to support him. While he may have it all together on the outside, on the inside, he has moments of weakness and doubts too. One day, he will likely settle down and find his soul mate, but until he reaches that point, he has a lot of living and loving to do.

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