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The 5 Types of Empaths…Which One Are You?

September 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

You may have heard of the term ’empath’ before, and essentially, it means being in tune with people’s emotions and feelings, so much so that the energy from them can negatively affect the empath. Empaths have high sensitivity and want the best for everyone they meet. Some people feel as though they can open up and tell their entire life story to an empath, probably due to their kind and caring nature.

Empaths often feel misunderstood and disregarded in today’s world, as we must use so much logic and reasoning to make decisions that emotions often get pushed to the wayside. The dreamer, wanderer, drifter, artist, outcast, hippie, etc., doesn’t understand or resonate with the world today, so society automatically deems them a ‘troublemaker’ or ‘too sensitive.’

However, empaths bring significant gifts and lessons in the world. An empath shows us that taking time to connect with someone else emotionally can change a person’s life. Empaths teach us to take time for ourselves and nurture our creative spirits. Empaths also represent those who won’t conform to a cruel world, no matter how tempting or easy this might seem. These types are usually old souls who have come here plenty of times before and have great wisdom to share.

Empaths sometimes suffer from low self-esteem or social anxiety due to the magnitude at which they feel others’ emotions. However, once they accept their gifts and promise to love themselves no matter what others might say, others can benefit from their healing nature.

Empathy helps one to see the world in a more compassionate way, so much so that some empaths claim to talk to angels or spirit guides often.

However, did you know that five types of empathy exist? If you identify as an empath, read on to figure out which of these five skills describes you best.

The 5 Types of Empaths…Which One Are You?

1. Emotional Empathy

This type of empathy is perhaps the most common on the list. Emotional empathy happens when you feel another person’s emotions so deeply that you take them on yourself. In other words, you can easily put yourself in another’s shoes and identify with their struggles and pain. However, many empaths feel overwhelmed by this ability as they can feel the energy of a room as soon as they walk into it.

2. Medical Empathy

If this sounds confusing, think of it this way. When someone you’re close to gets very sick, do you immediately feel worse yourself? If so, you may have medical empathy. Medical empaths take on the ailments and sicknesses of someone else, even if they are miles apart. Empaths naturally take on other people’s energy, especially those they’re close to. If someone they love gets very ill, they may become sick themselves due to how much they care for them. Their loved one’s pain is their pain, too.

On another note, a medical empath may also have the ability to spot an illness within another person simply using intuition.

3. Place Empathy

This empathy, as you would imagine, occurs in different places or locations on the planet. For example, maybe you feel particularly drawn to a certain place overseas and imagine yourself living there happily. Or, maybe when you go to the local mall, you immediately want to leave. Certain places trigger emotions within us, and these types of empaths feel it even more deeply than others. They can feel out a place within moments and figure out if it’s in their best interest to stay there or not.

4. Intellectual Empathy

These types of empaths excel at understanding how people’s minds work. They can easily understand someone’s perspective and offer their own without getting into an argument. They can relate to multiple perspectives and ideas and love keeping company of those who challenge them intellectually.

You love to gain information from as many sources as possible and continue learning in all facets of life.

5. Environmental Empathy

Environmental empaths feel what happens to the Earth on a profound level. When Earth goes through extreme trauma and destruction, these empaths begin to break down and feel very negative emotions. They see the Earth and themselves as one and want to protect the planet and restore it to its natural order.

Environmental empaths have a great relationship with nature, feeling called to it on a soul level. These people would love to spend most of their time in the woods or at a beautiful beach, away from the chaos and haste of the ‘real’ world.

How to Identify if You Are an Empath

Empaths have an uncanny ability to identify how other people are feeling. Do you think you or someone you love might carry this unique gift?

Empaths are compassionate people, but they’re prone to feeling overwhelmed by the burdens of the world. They can sometimes feel empathy for experiencing physical side effects from their feelings of empathy and compassion.

Researchers believe that empaths have neurons in their brain that mirror one another. This gives them the ability to understand people’s emotions by filtering it through their own emotions. They can better adapt their feelings, behavior, and speech to other people to understand their emotions. Empaths are extremely intuitive. They can detect a person’s feelings without prior knowledge.

Here are some ways to identify an empath person in your life.

Intuitive to other’s emotions

They can walk into a room and sense tension, fear, or anger. They “know” how people are doing without being told. This can scare some people, but others find it reassuring that empathy can help them get through things.

Need time to be alone

Because empaths feel things so deeply, they need time alone to decompress. They get recharged when they’re by themselves. Being outside is often the most healing for them, whether at the beach, in the mountains, or simply hiking through a forest. Nature is their calm place and where they can totally relax.

Feel things deeply and intensely

Empaths feel other’s burdens. If they hear a sad story on the television, they may feel physically ill from it. They may carry the sadness of what they’ve had all day or all week until they feel normal.

Nurturers

They are caring to a fault. Empaths ask deep questions, trying to understand better how someone is feeling. They’ll follow up with a call or a small gift wanting to help clean your house or run errands for you. They are loyal friends who will stick by you through whatever you’re going through, even to the point of their own exhaustion.

Get overwhelmed by the burdens of the world.

Empaths feel the weight of the world. They can’t let go of the suffering around them. They will help people in their community, whether it’s the homeless, the girl scouts, or a local charity that needs volunteers. And they donate their time and money to causes, always aware they could be doing more.

Need deep communication sharing deeply

These individuals hate small talk. They seek deep meaning and discussions about how you feel and what you’re thinking. They ask good, probing questions that get to the heart of the matter.

Generous

Empaths give of their time, money, and emotional energy. They love to help people and want to fix things so that people don’t need to suffer. They also don’t like to disappoint their friends and family. They’ll go the extra mile to help out a friend. They’re loyal friends, no matter what you’re going through.

The Difference Between an Empath and a Highly Sensitive Person

There is some overlap between an empath and a highly sensitive person, but they are very different individuals.

Empaths

They don’t just notice how people feel. They sense it. It’s a “knowing” without any information. They are so aware of other people’s feelings. They may feel as if they’re experiencing the emotions themselves. It can be difficult to turn off this sensitivity, causing them to feel overwhelmed by others’ anxiousness or stress. It’s as they can absorb someone’s feelings as their own. They make excellent friends, partners, and caregivers. They also

Need time to be alone to get recharged
Can be extroverts or introverts
They pick up emotions from people without trying. It’s an unconscious thing for an empath.
Empaths can be highly sensitive people, but not always.
Need understanding from friends and partner

Highly Sensitive People

A highly sensitive person processes information about the world around them. They feel things deeply and notice things that others may not notice. They feel overstimulated because their brains are on hyper-drive all the time. Often, they pick up emotional cues from people and, like an empath, can feel a sense of empathy for others. They notice smells, textures, and noises when other people ignore them. Because of this, highly sensitive people may get distracted easily. So, they feel things emotionally but also in a sensory way too. Being highly sensitive can be genetic. Up to 20% of the population experiences this kind of sensitivity. Highly sensitive people can also.

Be introverts or extroverts.
They are also empathic.
Overlap traits with empaths, and could be two sides of one trait.

Habits for an Empath to Stay Healthy

Learn to say no

Set boundaries for yourself as to what you will do and won’t do. Don’t allow people to walk all over you, getting you to do jobs that no one else will do. Step back and consider where you want to invest your time and talents. If you do this, you’ll be happier and be less stressed out.

Go outside every day.

Find time every day to go outside and enjoy nature. It’s your safe place where you can get refreshed and recharged, whether it’s a quick jog around a lake or a swim in the lake. Nature allows you to feel more peaceful and calm away from people’s feelings or emotions.

Recharge by being alone

Take time for yourself every day. Read a book, take a long bath, or relax on your front porch watching the birds in your yard. Being alone is necessary for an empath since you’re prone to feeling burdened by other’s struggles. Don’t feel guilty about needing alone time. It’s healthy. You’ll be able to do all you need to do when you’re recharged and rested.

Communicate your needs to your partner

Don’t shy away from sharing what you need with your partner. They may not understand if you don’t tell them. Explain your need for space and time alone. Tell them what it’s like to experience the weight of others’ feelings. If they don’t understand or demand that you “get a thicker skin,” then it may be time to end this relationship. You need someone who wants to support you, not pull you down.

Get healing from past trauma.

Empaths feel things very deeply. Some empaths have suffered physical or verbal abuse or had parents who didn’t understand their child was an empath. This can cause verified levels of post-traumatic stress. An empath who has past trauma may need to get help from a counselor to deal with their past traumas for a healthy life. Carrying these past traumas can cause depression, chronic fatigue, and panic attacks.

Pursue faith

Empaths are spiritual people. Many empaths find help from their faith. They feel relieved to get help outside themselves, pursuing God as an anchor for their hearts and minds.

Journal

Journaling is a great way for an empath’s emotional health. When you write down your feelings and worries, it makes you feel better. You feel as if you’re unloaded your burdens on paper so you can separate yourself from your feelings.

Loving an Empath

So, you’re pretty sure your partner is an empath. You’re a lucky person to have such a loving, loyal partner in your life, but you must understand how to love your empath partner. Here are some suggestions for you to love them well.

1. Express your feelings with them

When you’re upset or anxious, share your feelings with your partner. They have probably picked up on your emotions, anyway. They aren’t able to read your mind, of course, so telling them what’s going on in your mind is important for them. Empaths are great listeners. But they are prone to overthinking things. So you can help your partner worry less about you if you are quick to share with them what’s going on in your heart and mind.

2. Don’t lie to your partner

Never tell big or little lies to empath partner. If they sense your lying, it will be very hurtful to them. Empaths hate lying and deceitfulness. Be honest with them, knowing that they will be able to handle whatever you share with them. Don’t run the risk of ruining a wonderful relationship by telling even a white lie. It’s not worth it.

3. Be a good listener

One of the most important things an empath needs in a relationship is someone who will listen to them. They have strong feelings, so they need to unload their thoughts to a trusting partner who understands them. Try not to solve all their problems as they share, but listen. If they ask for your input, be sure to reassure them of your love before giving them advice. Empaths try to please people so. You want them to be assured of your acceptance before you give them advice.

4. They may not be able to explain how they feel

Your partner has a lot of feelings and emotions spinning in their heart and mind. They may not be able to explain why they feel so sad or anxious. Give them space and time to talk out what they’re really feeling. Have some good questions to help them understand what’s going on inside of them.

5. Be prepared for emotional expression

Empaths are emotional and share emotionally. Allow your partner to vent their emotions without fear of judgment from you. You may find this challenging, especially if your partner is carrying the burdens of other people’s feelings. Don’t tell them to let go of it or forget about how another person feels. They can’t do this. Instead, Comfort them when they’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed and listen patiently as they vent their own emotions.

6. Don’t try to change your empath partner

You mustn’t try to change your partner. You may think that if they just stopped worrying about other people, they would feel better. This is impossible for an empath. It’s like telling a fish not to swim. This won’t be helpful, and your partner will not feel loved or understood by you.

7. Decide how much social time you’ll both have

You may like to hang out with friends, but your impact partner may not be able to handle too much time socializing in groups. The two of you must sit down and discuss how you will socialize as a couple. Ways to compromise with your partner. Schedule times for your empath partner to be alone to recharge.

8. Determined space in the house

Empaths need space. They can feel smothered if they have too much together time. Ask what type of space your partner needs to set up the best arrangements for them. Do they need a private room where they can sit and read and recharge? Should your empath partner have a private bathroom? All these things are important for you and your partner to discuss.

9. Don’t take things personally

Your partner may not always be easy to understand. They may be more preoccupied with other people’s troubles rather than you. Please don’t take it seriously. Be there for your empath partner, love, and care for them. Don’t react to their comments or emotions, but support them. Push back on their wrong thinking when appropriate, but overall remember they chose you as their partner. You are an important part of their life, even if they don’t always act like it.

10. Be sure to have fun

Empaths are often intense people. You must help your empath partner learn to play. Be playful with them and help them laugh. Having fun will deepen your relationship and make them feel especially loved by you.

Final Thoughts About Understanding an Empath

Do you think you might be an empath? Or do you think your partner might have these traits? It’s essential to know if you are an empath–and what type you are. Be sure to treat yourself with kindness and observe the self-care measures that you need to continue to thrive in a world that could become overwhelming to you.

How to Identify (and Get Rid Of) Limiting Beliefs

September 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Are your limiting beliefs holding you back from leading your best life?

There are two wolves at war for your soul and the one that wins is the one you feed. There is a positive, constructive and determined one and a negative, counter-productive and hopeless one. Like all wolves, they hunt in and are reinforced as a pack. If you surround yourself with negative thoughts and people, then you will fall prey to that mentality. You will see hopeless situations everywhere you look. You will give up before the contest has adequately gotten started. If you cultivate positive outlooks, identify and dismiss negative thoughts or viewpoints and surround yourself with positive people, you will find yourself empowered and motivated.

So, how can we identify and eliminate negative and limiting beliefs or thoughts? Well, here are some methods to try.

How to Identify (and Get Rid Of) Limiting Beliefs

1. Identify Which Wolf You Are Feeding

The easiest way to do this is to write down how you feel about situations in your life that you wish were better. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to find the love of your life? Or, do you want that better job / promotion? Write down what you think about your situation and how likely that situation will turn out positively or in your favor. This should be your stream of consciousness; don’t overthink or analyze your thoughts just yet. Put it away for a day and look at it tomorrow with fresh eyes. Find all of the negative statements, thoughts or feelings you put down and highlight them. How much of what you wrote is negative or self-criticizing? If it is mostly negative thoughts, then you are feeding the wrong wolf.

2. Find The Truth In Your Thoughts And Feelings

Just because you feel it is true doesn’t make it objectively true. Be brutally honest with yourself here. Look your feelings right in the face and stare them down. You might feel that there are no good men/women left in the world, but is that really objectively true? The world’s population is going up exponentially, so there are people finding love and making babies. Maybe you are holding onto a fantasy version of love that isn’t real and that fantasy is limiting your choice of partners. Most of the time, those negative thoughts are just other emotions masquerading as truths. Anger, bitterness, and frustration can all lead to us justifying our failures to ourselves with thoughts that, when viewed from a distance, are objectively false. Strip yourself of unrealistic fantasies. Take a hard look at your strengths and weaknesses. Find the areas you want to improve and write down your objectives.

3. Flip The Script

Once you have identified those negative feelings and thoughts and confronted the truth of your situation and what you realistically want, then you can start to flip the script. Take each of your negative thoughts and write out a positive version of those thoughts and feelings. Go from “I could never lose 20 lbs” to “I will lose 20 lbs in the next six months”. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones with realistic and achievable goals. Do not set unachievable goals for yourself. Those things that seem unachievable when looked at as one large long term goal can be very achievable when broken down into much smaller, near term and very achievable goals. How do you move a mountain? One spoonful at a time.

4. Do The Work

Now that you have identified your negative thoughts, reasoned that they are false and set yourself positive achievable goals, you can begin doing the work necessary to achieve those goals. You cannot sit on the couch and expect to lose weight. Nor will you find love if you don’t put yourself out there and go on dates. You will never get that dream job if you don’t educate yourself and work hard to get it. If you free your body then your mind will follow. If you fail – and you will from time to time – do not get discouraged. It is just an obstacle in your path. Walk around it, climb over it or push it out of the way. Improvise, adapt and overcome. Everyone is powerful when they set their minds to a task and don’t allow themselves the luxury of giving up or turning away. There is no quitting. Your life is, quite literally, on the line.

The 21 Day Relationship Challenge

September 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We all know that relationships can get a little messy sometimes. However, just because you hit a few roadblocks doesn’t mean that you should turn around so quickly. If you want to make your relationship last, you probably know by now that it takes extreme effort, commitment, time, and patience. It takes compromise, active listening, kindness, generosity, love, and acceptance for a relationship to last. However, modern society can easily take its toll on even the strongest of relationships.

When this happens, you need to give some extra TLC to your relationship. You need to step back and figure out, together, what you can do to keep the flames burning, to keep that spark alive between you two. When you truly love someone, this won’t seem like a hassle, but rather, an important step to take in the health of your relationship.

Maybe this 21 Day relationship challenge backed by science will help you to rekindle the flames with your partner or simply break down the walls between you two. Maybe you’ve felt stagnant in your relationship lately and want to spice things up, so take a look at this 30 day challenge for some fun, meaningful relationship ideas!

The 21 Day Relationship Challenge

Day 1: Stare into your partner’s eyes for at least 3 minutes. A study done by UC Davis showed that when couples stared into each other’s eyes, their heart rates became synchronized.

Day 2: Put items in a time capsule that represent your relationship. Then, agree to open it at a later time. You’ll have something to look forward to, and this will help you to focus on positive aspects of your relationship.

Day 3: Go for a quick walk down a new street or nature trail. This will boost both of your moods due to doing something different together.

Day 4: Have dinner together, but instead of at the table, make it a picnic! You can do this either indoors or outdoors, depending on the weather. Sharing a meal together, without phones or other distractions, will help you to reconnect and focus on one another.

Day 5: Surprise your partner with a note in their purse or wallet that they will find later in the day at work. Or, simply show your man or woman that you care by making their lunch before work or bringing them breakfast in bed on their day off. Generosity brings your partner immediate happiness, so try it out sometime.

Day 6: Do a project together, whether that means organizing an area of the house or building a shelf for the movies to go on. When you do something seemingly boring and tedious together, it becomes a fun project that both of you can tackle as a team.

Day 7: Go on a date to one of your favorite places that you’ve been together. This will bring back fond memories, plus offer more opportunity for connecting.

Day 8: Send your partner a funny text, video, or meme during the day. A sense of humor is necessary to make it through life, especially in a romantic relationship.

Day 9: Dance with your partner at home. Just turn on your favorite tunes and break out some dance moves! (You might even learn some new ones from your partner!)

Day 10: Eat chocolate together. Dark chocolate, especially, contains plenty of antioxidants and releases endorphins that will make you feel good. Or, go to a local bakery and bring some treats home to enjoy together!

Day 11: Hold your partner’s hand at an unexpected time, such as at home on the couch. This will surprise them, as well as make them feel safe and paid attention to.

Day 12: Give your partner at least 10 compliments today. Regular assurance and kind words make all the difference in a relationship. Compliments don’t cost a thing, but mean the world to your significant other.

Day 13: Light some candles and put on some soft music when you both get home from work. This will relax both of you and set the mood for a peaceful, rejuvenating evening.

Day 14: Go on a nature walk together, or watch a sunrise/sunset. Being together in the wild will help you bond, and relax both of you. Plus, you might even discover a new place to go on adventures in the future.

Day 15: Get healthy together! Make today the day to start a new workout routine or cook a healthy dish together! You don’t have to do anything too extreme – just a jog before work or some bodyweight exercises are enough to get a routine going.

Day 16: Look at old pictures of you and your lover together. This will hopefully bring back great memories and remind you of where it all began. Also, remember to keep taking pictures regularly to add to your scrapbook!

Day 17: Play a board game, color, play hopscotch, or do anything else that brings you back to childhood. Remember, adults can act like kids sometimes, too!

Day 18: Go to a bookstore for some new books, or even better, choose one that will strengthen your relationship. For example, maybe you could buy a book that asks questions to get to know one another better.

Day 19: Make cooking fun and interesting by making a dish out of whatever you have in the pantry and fridge. Chances are, you’ll come up with a pretty unique concoction that will hopefully taste good and bring some laughs into the kitchen!

Day 20: Kiss as often as you want – it’s good for you! Regular kisses show your partner that you can’t get enough of them, and are also a sweet reminder of how you feel about them.

Day 21: Volunteer together. Helping other people better their lives together will deepen the bond between you, and make other people happier at the same time.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

15 Ways to Break Down Walls In Your Relationship

September 29, 2016 by Power of Positivity

It is a cruel and unforgiving world out there. Dog eat dog, survive the fittest, and go the spoils to the victor. Sometimes we feel safe behind fortified walls; we shelter in a safe harbor away from the fierce and uncaring sea. Sometimes we do this in our relationships out of fear, doubt, anger, or shame. We fear being hurt, again and again. We doubt our self-worth or that anyone could ever love us. As a result, we are angry that we are not where we thought we would be in life or who we thought we would be with. Sometimes, we are even ashamed of our failures and missteps along the way.

These emotions and feelings build thick defensive barriers between us and everyone else. These walls may keep us safe, but then again, so does a cage. We can only live a genuinely fulfilling life through accepting some risks and acting decisively when the time comes to do so. A ship is safe at anchor in a protected harbor, but that is not what ships should do.

Fifteen Habits to Build a More Authentic Relationship

Here are fifteen ways to break down the walls in your relationships holding you a prisoner.

1. Overcome Fear with Courage

We fear being hurt or missing a golden opportunity. We fear failure. Fear is our greatest enemy and always has been. Fear will prevent you from acting decisively when you need to. Furthermore, fear will cloud your judgment and push you to make false assumptions about people. Courageous people do not lack fear. They are scared out of their minds like everyone else. The key is not letting fear guide your actions. Push the fear to the back of your mind. Act. Act despite your fear.

You would be surprised at what you can accomplish even when afraid. That beautiful woman/man that you want to approach and talk to but can’t seem to muster the courage? Well, get over there and talk to them. What have you got to lose? Rejection? Well, you aren’t with them now, so what does it matter? And if you do manage to talk to them, you could win their heart. You can’t win anything without courage—the courage to try.

2. Banish Doubt with True Grit

Everyone has doubts–our ability, our partner, our attractiveness, and our worth. If we have doubts and know ourselves the best, why should anyone else believe in us? Be honest about your abilities and weaknesses, and then use your courage to try something. Keep trying until you succeed. The act of perseverance when all the odds are against you is a mark of true grit. True grit is the ability to keep going no matter what. I am sure you had heard it from your father when he said, “Suck it up and keep going.” That is what it means to have true grit. You take the punches and keep moving forward. You keep moving forward because that is how winning is done. Sometimes all your partner wants you to do is try, not to succeed, but to make an effort.

3. Release Shame and Embrace Acceptance

There are things in everyone’s past that cause shame. Sometimes, we are ashamed of who we are inside. Or perhaps we feel shame about our jobs or education. Sometimes we are ashamed of our circumstances or mistakes. The critical thing is that shame holds you down in a hard pit to escape. The only way to escape is to accept yourself and your circumstances. Accept your partner and all of their baggage as well. Once you accept all of that, then you can start moving forward. Do not hold mistakes or events in your past against yourself or your partner. Today is a new day. Yesterday is gone and done. There is nothing you can do to change the past, but you can start changing your future.

4. Refuse Judgment of Others or Yourself

Once you have accepted your past and your partner’s past, you can refuse judgment of yourself and refuse to judge them. Being overly critical of past mistakes is counterproductive and damaging to an excellent long-term relationship. If you find yourself keeping score or holding onto grudges, you are part of the problem. People screw up, even you. Sitting in judgment of them is not your place and does nothing to strengthen the relationship. That is not to say you should not have standards or embrace unacceptable behavior, but if someone is honestly trying to start fresh and better themselves, including yourself, then reminding them of their failures does not move the relationship forward. It moves it backward.

5. Let Go of Resentment and Embrace Love

We resent people or situations because we are angry with them. Being angry always wears you down and adversely affects all of your relationships. No one wants to be with someone angry and resentful all the time. Let go of it. Let go of it because you refuse to judge others for their past, and you have released your shame and accepted yourself the way you are. Embrace your love for yourself and others. Use that love to build yourself up, build up your partner and build up the foundation of the relationship. Eventually, you will build that foundation so much that you have buried the walls between you.

6. Good communication

Good communication breaks down walls in any relationship. Of course, good communication is more than talking to someone. It’s asking them good questions, maintaining eye contact, and staying focused on what’s being said. Good communicators avoid bad habits that build walls in a relationship.

Not focused: Looking at your phone or walking out of a room while your partner is talking signals you’re not interested in what they have to say.
Giving unwanted advice: Don’t be the answer person to your partner. Hold your thoughts and opinions while they’re sharing. Only advise if they express a desire to hear what you think.
Judging: Don’t assume you know your partner’s motives. Don’t criticize them. This is sure to put up some walls in your relationship. Please give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the best about them. Treat them how you like to be treated.

7. Show respect

When you show your partner respect, the walls in our relationship will come down. Showing respect means you acknowledge they have feelings and opinions that may differ from you, and that’s okay. You respect them for who they are rather than wanting them to be like you. If you’re going to break down the walls, practice these respectful habits.

Show compassion in word and deed.
Admit when you’re wrong
No hurtful name-calling
Be patient
Take responsibility
Be quick to forgive without holding it over them
No eye-rolls, heavy frustrated sighs, or other actions to display your irritation

8. Be a good listener

A good listener is an active listener. When your partner is talking to you, look into their eyes, lean forward, and give them your full attention. Being an active listener improves your communication, but according to researchers, it can enhance the happiness in your relationship. If you want to break down the walls of your relationship, develop your listening skills.

9. Show emotional support

Showing your partner emotional support means you will be with them in the good and wrong times. You care about how they feel, and when they’re sad or frustrated, you look for ways to support them. Displaying emotional support means asking your partner good questions to draw them out about their feelings, such as:

How did that make you feel when your brother said that to you?
When your boss did that, how did you react?
How does work worry you the most?
How did it feel when you got passed over for the promotion?
Can I support you more during this challenging time?

Even if you think you know how your partner feels about something, it never hurts to ask. It might surprise you what they’re feeling.

10. Be honest

Relationships have their ups and downs. You don’t always “feel in love” with your partner. Sometimes your partner makes you mad or sad. It doesn’t cancel your love or commitment. Being honest enough to say I’m struggling right now is good. Blame shifting and ranting at your partner is never a good idea. Words damage, and once something is out of your mouth. It’s impossible to take it back. Communicate honestly but kindly, and remember that difficulties come and go. This is the best way to break down walls in our relationship.

11. Forgive without strings

No one enjoys it when someone says they forgive you, but keep bringing up what you did. An ancient text says it well.

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9 NLT)

If you want to break down the walls in our relationship, be willing to forgive. Remember that you make mistakes so you can forgive your partner. Without forgiveness, the walls will never come down. Be sure to vocalize your forgiveness rather than pretending nothing happened. This is unauthentic. Take the time to talk about what happened and express your forgiveness. Be sure to apologize for any contributions you made to the incident.

12. Show gratitude

Expressing gratitude is a sure way to break down walls in your relationship. Showing gratitude for your partner builds positivity in your relationship. It makes your partner feel appreciated. You can show your partner gratitude through your words and your actions.

13. Be careful what you text

Lots of conversations with your partner happen via emails and texts. Be sure to consider what to say and how it may come across. It’s easy to misread someone’s attitudes behind a text or email. Even the most benign text can be received wrong if you’re not careful to fill in details.

14. Show patience

Your partner isn’t perfect, but so what, neither are you. Choose your battles in your relationship. Are you willing to yell at your partner because they throw their clothes on the floor? Is it worth it? Show them patience by your words and actions. Let go of your anger and bitterness. These are unproductive attitudes that put walls up. Talk about problems, but show kindness, care, and, most of all, patience.

15. Show affection

Healthy relationships are built on the appreciation. Hugs, a sweet caress, or a tender kiss before you leave for work tell your partner you love them. Things that you can do to break down walls in your relationship with affection include:

Lots of hugs
Kisses when you get home from work and when you leave
Holding hands in public
Smiling across the room at your partner
Little gifts
Checking in via text or phone call
Saying, “I love you.”

Final Thoughts on Breaking Down Walls in Your Relationship

You must be intentional if you want to break down walls in our relationship. You can kick down these walls with good communication, good listening skills, and showing emotional support. Express your gratitude to your partner and show them affection every day. Having a healthy relationship is worth the effort. Getting the walls out of the way will allow your strong, healthy, and authentic connection to flourish.

5 Ways to Move On When Life Isn’t Fair

September 29, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Someone or something always has the advantage, and there are usually two options: think negatively, or positively about it. We do best when we take responsibility for our actions, identify the problem, make a plan to fix the problem and then work on the plan.

The last thing you need to do is understand that not everything is under your control. Sometimes, you just gotta roll with the punches until you spot the opportunity to make progress.

When life isn’t fair, these 5 things can help you move on

1. Identify the Problem

The first thing you need to do when confronted with an obstacle in your path is to identify what the problem really is. Is it a broken part that needs replacing and bad employee that needs firing, or a personal emotional issue that needs to be addressed? Figure out what is causing the problem in your life. This may require us to face some very uncomfortable truths about ourselves, because maybe our own decisions or judgment is the problem. Be ruthless at this stage. Stop at nothing to identify the root causes of the problem in your life.

2. Devise a Solution

Once you have identified the issue that is causing the problem in your life, you have to figure out a way to overcome that problem. Do you lack financing for your new business? Find a way to improve your credit rating, tighten up your business plan or reduce costs during the startup period. Did you fail to get that promotion due to a lack of education or experience? Then find a way to get the experience you need through training programs, internships or volunteering. Need more education? Then take a course a semester in the evenings until you get that degree or certification. Every problem has a solution, but sometimes the solution is another problem on its own.

Work your way down the tree until you find the root cause, then start remedying that one first. Take it step-by-step, and before you know it, you will know what you need to do. Plan in detail and make backup plans in case you need to change direction on the fly. Shoot holes in your plan. Get others to shoot holes in your plan, then go about making changes to the plan to make it as bullet proof as possible.

3. Work the Plan

Once you have identified the root cause of the problem in your life and have started working on a solution to fix it or go around it, then you can start working the plan. Working the plan requires discipline and determination. Adjust your plan for issues that come up when they come up, but stay the course. Don’t lose sight of your ultimate objective. Stay laser focused on your goals. You have spent a lot of time coming up with this plan and you want to stick with it as much as possible, but no plan survives contact with the enemy. Be prepared to alter course or change the method of success, but never give up. Press through difficulties and keep your eye on the prize.

4. Accept Help from Others

If you get in a bind or find yourself in a situation you cannot get out of, then don’t be afraid to accept help from others. We succeed often as a team. Just like you would not hesitate to help a friend or loved one with their project or issue, then let them do the same for you. We all stand on the shoulders of giants, and others will at some point stand on our shoulders as well. We advance as a civilization by the very fact that we help each other and cooperate so effectively.

5. Understanding Control

The last thing is to accept that there are things in this universe that are out of our control and cannot be planned for. Sometimes, things just happen for no rational reason. Accept responsibility for the things that are under your direct control or influence and nothing else. If there is nothing humanly possible that you can do about it, then let go of it. You can only be expected to predict those things that are predictable. When the unpredictable happens, ride it like a wave. You cannot stop the wave, but you can make the wave work for you or against you.

10 Things Healthy People Do Differently

September 28, 2016 by Power of Positivity

What comes to mind when we close our eyes and try to imagine a “healthy” person? Maybe eating right, working out hard, calisthenics, protein shakes, portion control…you get the idea.

And make no mistake, most healthy people do some or all of these things. But it may surprise some of us how much about a healthy person we actually don’t know. It turns out that many of these folks aren’t “gym rats” or “calorie counters.” They actually take a much more deliberate, measured approach in how they tend to their physical and mental health.

So, how do they do this exactly? Well, as with many things, methods are highly individualized. However, there are some interesting (and highly-effective) traits of healthy people that some of us may want to emulate.

We discuss 10 inconspicuous things that healthy people do differently:

1. They listen to their body

Make no mistake, doctors are incredibly intelligent people. However, they are prone to be wrong from time to time. Healthy people are very holistic in terms of the regimens they subscribe to; along with who’s advice they seek. Additionally, healthy people understand that they body feels a way for a certain reason. Put another way, the body can signal when something needs to be eaten at a certain time.

2. They don’t fad diet

Fad diets (see: Atkins, South Beach…) have the potential to sell false hope. “Being in a diet,” in itself, really isn’t a good thing! Need proof? It’s estimated, depending on the source, that a scant 3-5 percent of people that lose weight via a fad diet actually keep the weight off!

The old cliché “it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle” is actually pretty darn accurate.

3. They prioritize time in the kitchen…

In a society where so much emphasis is placed on convenience, it’s very difficult to eat healthy on the regular. Healthy people – many of them as busy as most everyone else – find ways to cook their meals at home. More importantly, however, they cook the right foods at home.

4. Then they stay away from the restaurants/bars/burger joints

Well, 99 percent of the time anyways (see #10). Seriously, most restaurant, bar and burger joint food is utter garbage. Delicious garbage, maybe, but garbage nonetheless. It goes without saying, but consuming these foods is tremendously counterproductive to our health.

5. They consider the “true cost” of food

Fruits and veggies aside, some healthy foods can be a bit costlier. The reason is really simple. Most bagged foods we see (e.g. chips) and boxed foods (e.g. frozen lunches) are mass-produced using the cheapest available ingredients – including mass amounts of chemicals, additives and preservatives. Meanwhile, real natural and whole foods contain very little of these things, and are sourced responsibly. Of course, the latter is much healthier than the former.

But healthy people consider the “true cost” of food – what it does to their bodies – more-so than the numbers on the price tag.

6. They “eat clean”

Healthy people are very conscious of the ingredients in foods; often choosing to spend a bit more to get higher-quality products (see above). “Eating clean” is a term used to describe this: choosing foods minimal in ingredients and maximize potential health benefits.

7. They stay away from processed foods

Most “ready-to-eat” foods are highly-processed. This really is no different than injecting ourselves with a bunch of unknown substances. While food preservatives are important to the masses, they are considered detrimental by many healthy people.

Quite simply, it is very possible consume only foods with minimal processing if efforts are made to do so.

8. They shop around the aisles

Aisles are where all the “garbage” food is. Look around at a supermarket the next time you’re there. First, walk the perimeter of the store and note what you see. Then, walk down each aisle within the same market. Fruits, vegetables, seafood, dairy, lean meats…all of these foods are located around the aisles. Within the aisles? Potato chips, soda, frozen meals, desserts, etc.

9. They eat a lot (really!)

As mentioned prior, health people listen to their bodies. Therefore, they will not hesitate to satisfy their cravings when need be. Healthy people talk often about eating 5 or 6 meals a day, with snacks in-between.

So, healthy people eat a lot. The differences are: (a) they have a built taste for healthy food, so this is the food they’ll reach for, and (b) they metabolize much of their food quality because they are healthy.

10. They don’t deprive themselves

Deprivation is not a healthy characteristic. It is important to make a distinction between deprivation and desire when it comes to health. Healthy people don’t deprive themselves of anything…quite the contrary, actually. They have a voracious desire to eat right, eat clean, eat often, and completely understand what they put into their bodies.

“No matter how old you are, no matter how much you weigh, you can still control the health of your body.” – Dr. Mehmet Oz

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