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Researchers Reveal 5 Ways To Gain Emotional Intelligence

September 10, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be strengthened. In fact, it is an important one for building strong relationships with those around us, both in our personal lives and in our careers. We experience emotions both internally with ourselves from our inner thoughts, and externally with the people that we interact with.

The perception, use, understanding, and management of emotions are the parts that make up the skill of emotional intelligence. You may be skilled in one area, but are looking for ways to strengthen your skills in other areas. This article will help you understand, and strengthen each area.

5 Ways To Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence

Strengthening emotional intelligence is important in many fields, but for teachers, these skills are especially important to correctly assess and prevent learning problems for children who might be struggling either socially or academically. In the textbook Applying Emotional Intelligence, the authors focus on improving emotion-related skills for teachers. They define the emotional intelligence skills of perception, use, understanding, and management of emotions in the following ways:

Perception of emotion. The ability to perceive emotions in oneself and others as well as in books, movies, or even art
Use of emotion to facilitate thinking. The ability to use or generate emotions to focus attention, communicate feelings, or engage in other cognitive processes such as reasoning, problem-solving, and decision-making.
Understanding of emotion. The ability to understand emotional information and the causes of emotions and how emotions combine, progress, and change from one to another.
Management of emotion. The ability to be open to feelings and employ effective strategies to promote personal understanding and growth.

Belgian researchers looked at how it might be possible to increase emotional intelligence (EI). They had the participants of an experimental group go through a brief emotional intelligence training. As a result, they saw how those who had gone through the emotional intelligence training showed a significant increase in emotion identification and emotion management abilities. They were also able to show that at a 6-month follow-up the training participants still showed stronger emotional intelligence than the control group. The team concluded by saying ‘These findings suggest that EI can be improved and open new treatment avenues.’

1. Use a diary to describe one emotional experience per day

The Belgian research study mentioned in our first item above also used a personal diary. Participants reported one emotional experience daily in addition to other training in emotional intelligence.

In this way, those in the study had to look back at their day. They reflected on the emotional moments they had experienced in order to be able to write about them.

So try journaling about your emotions. Perhaps you’ll gain self-awareness of your own emotional state and what was happening that brought up those feelings. Journal writing is one way to strengthen your emotional intelligence.

2. Reflect on how you can improve your own regulation of emotion

Think about times that you may have lost your temper, cried in front of someone when you didn’t want to, or got easily frustrated. Now think about how you could manage that differently in the future. For example, if you’re feeling like you might cry, you might say to the other person ‘I’m feeling very strongly about this right now. Give me a few moments to compose my thoughts.’

3. Think about how you can identify other people’s feelings

The authors of the textbook chapter on training emotional intelligence for teachers in the classroom suggest a few exercises to strengthen your skills. They say that analyzing the emotions of a recent interaction with someone is helpful ‘Because emotions contain important information about people and the environment (perception of emotion) and identifying one’s own feelings and those of the other person are key factors in how a situation is handled, the first question is ‘How may/was each person feel/feeling?’

4. Look at your thoughts about the other person’s emotions and the results

In the classroom teacher training, the authors say ‘Emotions also influence how we think, and our thoughts influence how we handle a situation (use of emotion).’

They say that we should ask ourselves ‘What were you and the other person thinking about as a result of these feelings?’ Next, in order to understand the underlying causes of the emotional experience (understanding emotion), we should ask ourselves, ‘What may have caused each person to feel the way he/she did?’

Finally, we should ask ourselves, ‘What did you and the other person do to manage these feelings?’ which deals with identifying the specific strategies to manage emotion. You may also have a strong intuition.

5. Write down the non-verbal cues you can hear or see that reflect emotions in yourself and in others

For other people that you see speaking, you may be able to more easily identify non-verbal cues that give away their emotional state. For example, their facial expressions, voice, gestures, or posture serve as valuable clues. In yourself, these may be more difficult to recognize. For example, when your face feels hot and flushed, what emotion are you most likely experiencing? If you said embarrassment or shame, you’d be correct. Think about some other emotions and how your body physically feels when you experience them.

You can also take emotional intelligence tests online to analyze your skills, both here and here.

5 Reasons People Wake Up Grumpy (And How to Avoid It)

September 10, 2016 by Power of Positivity

‘I’m so not a morning person is something you might say if you always wake up grumpy, but it doesn’t have to be that way if you know the common reasons for your mood and how to change it into a more positive one. Knowing the root causes of grumpy mornings will help you understand why people do it and how to avoid waking up on the wrong side of the bed as soon as tomorrow.

5 Reasons People Wake Up Grumpy (And How To Avoid It)

If you’re not a morning person, you probably hate morning people or wish they would be cheerful somewhere else. It’s not that you’re depressed in the morning, and nothing has happened yet to make you angry, but somehow you just don’t feel positive first thing in the morning.

Your mood can be affected by many things, from what you ate or drank the day before to what was on your mind before bed.

1. Sleeping wrong

Waking up achy will put you in a grumpy mood, and many of us ‘sleep wrong’ even without knowing that we are doing it. Since we spend 6-8 hours per night in bed, it is important to have a good, supportive mattress, a pillow that doesn’t push your neck into an awkward position, and to sleep in the right position all night too.

Millions of people wake up grumpy because of hip, back, neck, or jaw pain. Side sleeping can pressure the hip joint, which causes pain when you wake up. Sleeping with a pillow that is too full will push your neck into an awkward position toward your chest or shoulder, which then causes you to feel pain when you wake up. Some people grind their teeth at night, which can cause dental pain and problems and jaw muscle pain.

Waking up in pain is sure to make you grumpy. How best to avoid this, use a pillow that is softer than usual if you have neck pain. This will allow your neck to fall lower than usual into a more natural position about the rest of your body. A down substitute or buckwheat pillow is a good option. Sleep on your back for the best natural position for your spine. Ask your dentist to fit you for a mouth guard to keep your jaw in a relaxed position as y

2. A nightcap before bed

One glass of wine before bed won’t hurt, will it? According to one study, it could be one reason you wake up grumpy. Although alcohol can make you feel drowsy, and it is a sedative, its effect on your ability to get good, deep sleep is negative.

The researchers say ‘alcohol may exert an arousal influence which may compete with the sleep maintenance influence of increased delta activity. The phenomenon is similar to, or the same as, alpha-delta sleep which has been associated with the presence of disruptive stimuli during sleep.’ So that nightcap before bed keeps you from getting deep sleep, making you grumpy in the morning. Skip the drink, and change your morning mood.

3. Skipping breakfast

Okay you’ve definitely heard this one before, but eating breakfast in the morning can improve your level of grumpiness when you wake up. Researchers at Northumbria University tested the relationship between morning mood, having breakfast, and exercise and found that breakfast helped improve morning mood.

4. A lack of exercise

The Northumbria University researchers also found that breakfast improved mood, even after a workout. Exercise was also found to help improve mood and the ability to think clearly after breakfast. The scientists found that exercise improves cognitive performance after eating breakfast. Interestingly, the researcher found that if you skip breakfast and still have a morning workout, having a post-workout snack like almond milk will also improve your mood.

5. It’s genetic

Well, this one might be tough to avoid, but it’s possible that your genes are a reason that you wake up grumpy. Researchers found that a small percentage of the population have a genetic mutation that shows a link between mood and circadian clock sleep cycles. People with this genetic variant are more likely to suffer from Seasonal-Affective Disorder (SAD) and have depression during winter when there is lower light.

People with this grumpy morning genetic variation also generally suffer from irregular sleep cycles. The researchers also found this genetic mutation in fruit flies and mice. Although you can’t cure your genes, there is some hope from the research that found that people with this mutation also have lower levels of a protein that helps regulate sleep.

12 Body Language Signs That Show She Is Falling For You

September 10, 2016 by Power of Positivity

When it comes to attraction, men and women are quite different. This is particularly true for (a) what we’re attracted to, and (b) how we demonstrate attraction. This article focuses on the female side of (b). That said, attraction is exhibited in ways that are subtle or obvious. However, a little bit of knowledge and attention to body language may just make it easier to for our male reader.

Here are 12 body language signs that she may be falling for you:

“I believe very strongly that when it comes to desire, when it comes to attraction, that things are never black and white, things are very much shades of grey.” – Brian Molko

1. She’s fidgeting (one of the most prominent body language cues)

Attraction can be nerve-wracking for both men and women. The reason: we’re attempting to determine whether or not the attraction we have is mutual; often evoking feelings of uncertainty and nervousness. As a result, a woman will often become fidgety or fiddle with their jewelry, drink, phone or something else.

2. She makes prolonged eye contact

Eye contact is a universal sign of human attraction. Ever notice how infants fix their gaze on people or objects that interest them? Same concept. This trait is most noticeable during initial conversation – a woman will stare intently into a man’s eyes while he speaks, and not allow her eyes to wander.

3. She’s smiling at you

Not much explanation needed here. Women tend to smile at men they’re attracted to more often than others. Smiling is a sweet and simple gesture, and a wildly-attractive one at that. Ask any man or woman in love, and they’ll reiterate the exact same thing.

4. She talks about you

Most women will safeguard revealing information, whether it be from a friend or stranger. Of course, unless, they don’t intend for the information to be safeguarded. What do they do? Most often, they’ll use their friend as a “courier,” who shares these juicy tidbits with the man-of-interest. Or, more simply, a man just gets feedback from others that she mentions him a lot.

5. She shares her story

Women are very apprehensive in sharing details of their lives with men, and rightfully so. However, a woman may reveal details of more significance with a person they’re attracted to. Interestingly, men have a tendency to do the same thing! So, if a woman (or man) shares a little intimacy with you early-on – it may just mean something significant.

6. She blushes (involuntary body language cues)

Ah, yes…the blush. One of the few potentially-obvious signs of attraction…why? Blushing is entirely involuntary – an autonomic response. If a woman blushes in front of a man it is usually for one of two reasons: embarrassment or attraction.

7. She exhibits “open” body language

Women that are attracted to a man often minimize the number of things (e.g. phone, purse, distance) separating them. One example that comes to mind: when a woman rests her arms on the table (e.g. at a restaurant or bar) in front of the man and plays with her smartphone. This is an obvious sign of disinterest; whereas quick checking her phone before quickly putting it in her purse may be another story. Also, the closeness (or distance) she maintains while walking together is often a good indicator.

8. Her voice pitch

According to a study published in The Journal of Nonverbal Communication, a person will change the tone and pitch of their voice when speaking to someone they’re attracted to. Specifically, women tend to lower their vocal tone when around attractive people.

9. She “mimics”

Most of us have done this since we were infants, a phenomenon known as “interactional symmetry.” We have an innate tendency to display similar mannerisms and nuances of people that interest us – coworkers, friends, relatives – even potential mates. Yes, even a woman that sarcastically “copies” a man to provoke laughter may be interested.

10. She goes out of her way

Going out of her way is kind of difficult to explain, easy to misinterpret, and is often displayed subtly. However, it may be a sign if a woman should “evade” other people in the room while loitering around a man. If she should bring the man something, as in a coffee or snack, it may be a sign. Put simply, if a woman seems to alter her behavior to accommodate, it may just be a signal.

11. She shifts or touches her neck or hair (or other flirtatious body language)

A woman will play with or stroke her hair for a number of reasons; mainly because it displays femininity and it is (very) attractive. Conversely, “hair twirling” or slight pulling can signify boredom and a need for stimulation (i.e. “step up your game!”). The neck is another sensitive area for a woman that is attractive to a man. So, revealing her collarbone or rubbing her neck may signify attraction.

12. She giggles often

Spontaneous giggling in itself doesn’t necessarily signal attraction. However, women will subconsciously display frequent giggling episodes to exhibit a sense of youthfulness and fertility. Also, women will often giggle to portray a connection with your sense of humor. Women that possess a pure interest in a man also tend to make extended eye contact during while giggling at you.

(Note: these will not always signify attraction, nor are they universal in nature. A woman’s personality and mood – along with other innate traits – also plays a role. Attraction can be quite individualistic and enigmatic.)

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Ways To Get Out of A Bad Mood In Less Than 5 Minutes

September 9, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Biting someone’s head off when they ask you a simple question is one sign that you’re in a bad mood, and it can ruin your day and that of the people around you.

When you’re in a negative or ‘bad’ mood, there are simple things you can do to quickly change your perspective and help you feel much more positive about your day.

Let’s look at five things you can do in just five minutes to help improve your mood.

5 Ways To Get Out of A Bad Mood In Less Than Five Minutes

Fake it ’till you make it is one way that people suggest getting out of a bad mood, and by that, they mean to put a smile on, even if you don’t feel the corresponding happy emotion that goes with it. It’s possible that faking a smile will actually help boost your mood, and we do recommend trying it because there’s virtually no downside to it.

Here are five other quick ways to turn a bad mood into a good one: smile or no.

1. Tapping

Tapping can get you out of a bad mood in less than five minutes. The act of tapping acupressure points on your body can help you eliminate negative thoughts that may be causing your bad mood. Read about how to tap your body to remove feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety in our article.

You can do several rounds of tapping therapy on yourself to get out of a bad mood in less than five minutes.

2. Eat something (preferably healthy)

Hunger is a possible reason you’re in a bad mood, especially if you’re stressed out and too busy to find time to eat. A healthy source of vegetarian protein can help change your mood quickly. Something as simple as a glass of almond milk can immediately make you feel better. Foods high in magnesium can help lift your mood and satisfy your hunger. But skip the chocolate to boost your mood.

Although when you aren’t feeling great, you might think to reach for the comfort of a craving food like chocolate, it won’t help as much as a good, vegetarian protein or organic fruit source.

Researchers studying whether or not eating chocolate helped improve mood found that people had higher depression scores if they ate chocolate than if they had not eaten any.

3. Aromatherapy can decrease your bad mood

Just the scent of lavender or orange can improve your mood and decrease anxiety. Researchers at the University Clinic of Neurology at the Medical University of Vienna, Austria, studied the effects of aromatherapy in a place associated with high levels of stress: the dentist’s office.

The researchers had two hundred patients in a waiting room assigned to either waiting rooms with lavender or orange aromatherapy, music, or a control group with none of these.

They found that ambient odors of orange and lavender reduced anxiety and improved mood in patients waiting for dental treatments. Experiment with some essential oils and find one that will work best for you.

4. Take a quick walk outside

Researchers at the University of Essex in the United Kingdom looked at the benefits of walking outside in nature compared to other therapies for improving mood. They say ‘exercise has also been compared to other established treatment options, such as antidepressants and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) programs.

Initial findings imply that exercise is equally as effective as both antidepressants and CBT, as no significant differences were reported between the interventions.’ They say that ‘green exercise’ as in a walk in the country or in a park is particularly effective at helping you get out of a bad mood in just a few minutes.

5. Give yourself a pep talk

Positive self-talk can help improve your mood when you are feeling down. Often, there is a negative voice in our heads that is telling us to feel guilty, ashamed, or that replays the setbacks of the day. Maybe you are feeling lonely or rejected. We must counter that negativity with serious self-love to get out of a bad mood.

Here are a few positive self-talk phrases you can use to get out of a bad mood in less than 5 minutes:

‘I know I can do this because I’ve succeeded at tasks like this before.’
‘I am intelligent and believe in my ability to get all my work done today.’
‘Today I’m going to be amazing, and I won’t let setbacks slow me down.’
‘I learn from my mistakes, and I am going to do so much better the next time.’

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Can Lower Stress and Improve Your Mood

September 9, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a technique that psychologists use to help change your mood and reduce stress. Furthermore, the technique helps people recover from depression and anxiety disorders. Cognitive behavioral therapy is not new. However, the information about this treatment continuously grows. And, the uses for the treatment have increased since its development in the 1980s. Before CBT, treatments focused either on thoughts or the cognitive processes of the mind. Plus, behavioral therapy focused on changing the behavior of the individual.

Here’s How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Can Change Your Mood And Reduce Stress

One research team says ‘CBT works by changing people’s attitudes and their behavior by focusing on the thoughts, images, beliefs, and attitudes that are held (a person’s cognitive processes) and how these processes relate to the way a person behaves, as a way of dealing with emotional problems.’

CBT combines thoughts, behavior, and emotions or feelings into a single therapy. It helps individuals to reframe thoughts about emotional states and influence behavior as a result of mindset changes.

The mind-body connection and cognitive-behavioral therapy

When researchers looked at using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to treat physical pain in the body, they found the technique useful in connection with meditation and light exercise or movement therapy. This use is unique. That’s because most therapy techniques focus on the mind only. Indeed, they fail to see that by changing the mind, we can improve our experience of pain in the body.

A research team at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore, Maryland, found ‘a mind-body approach (cognitive-behavioral therapy) successful in treating chronic back pain patients. They determined it improved function, decreased perceived pain, and improved mood state for fibromyalgia patients.’ The results were surprising, and they show that CBT can help patients to think differently about their physical pain, which leads to less reported pain at the end of the treatment.

Research review of cognitive-behavioral therapy for mood and stress disorders

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania, the Beck Institute for Cognitive Therapy and Research, the Medical University of South Carolina, and Drexel University looked at 325 studies on the effectiveness of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and reviewed the results. They found that CBT was better than antidepressant pharmaceutical drug treatment for depression in adult patients seeking treatment for their depression. They also found that CBT as therapy was equally effective as behavioral therapy alone in the treatment of adult depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder. The researchers concluded that CBT is useful for many ailments.

“We also aimed to provide answers regarding the degree to which the effects of CT persist following the termination of treatment. The meta-analyses reviewed strongly suggest that across many disorders, the effects of CT are maintained for substantial periods beyond the cessation of treatment. More specifically, significant evidence for long-term effectiveness was found for depression, generalized anxiety, panic, social phobia, OCD, sexual offending, schizophrenia, and childhood internalizing disorders.”

In the cases of depression and panic, there appears to be a robust and convergent meta-analytic. Indeed, evidence suggests that CT produces vastly superior long-term persistence of effects. Moreover, patients experience relapse rates half those of pharmacotherapy. Besides, CT appears to show more significant long-term effects in the treatment of generalized anxiety disorder as compared to applied relaxation.

In the review of the research, CBT has also been used in the treatment of substance abuse, anger, marital problems, schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social phobia, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, personality disorders, and anorexia nervosa. Cognitive behavioral therapy may be as effective as drug therapies for these psychological disorders as well, but this study did not evaluate treatment for these conditions.

How cognitive behavior therapy works to change your mood

We sometimes think false, distorted, or negative ideas about ourselves. However, CBT first helps us to identify these incorrect thoughts.

For example, imagine that you accidentally spilled your coffee this morning. You immediately thought, ‘There I go again, being clumsy.’

This negative thought about yourself can put you in a bad mood. If you choose to believe that you are clumsy, you may be more likely to do it again. The first step of CBT is to identify these incorrect statements and thoughts in your mind.

The second step is to question the thoughts.

With CBT, you learn to stop the poor thinking.

Instead, you might say ‘Why do I believe that I am clumsy?’ or ‘Haven’t I had more days of not spilling my coffee than days that I did spill it?’

The third step is replacing negative thoughts with a positive ones.

For example, you might say ‘Even though I spilled my coffee, it was just an accident. I am normally very careful’ or ‘That was a one-time mistake that is not likely to happen again.’

Give yourself some positive self-talk and reject the negative.

5 Things The Most Likeable People Do Differently

September 9, 2016 by Power of Positivity

There are people that are so likeable and charming that people will do just about anything for them. How is it that these people can naturally get others to bend over backwards for them?

Well, they do some things differently than the rest of us.

Napolean Hill, author of “Think and Grow Rich,” wrote an essay called Develop a Pleasing Personality, where he explored what set these very likeable people apart and allowed them to achieve incredible success. He found that these five things set those exceptional people apart from the rest of us regular folks.

5 Things The Most Likeable People Do Differently

1. Be Positive and Let Others Feel Your Positive Attitude

Not only are extremely likable people positive in their attitude, but they let others feel that attitude through their words and actions. Be aware of negative thoughts when they surface. Acknowledge those negative thoughts for what they are. Negative thoughts keep you in shackles and hold you back from achieving your full potential.

People can pick up on these negative thoughts through voice intonation, body language, and the content of your words. If you see yourself or your endeavors in a negative light, then so will others. If you maintain a positive attitude about yourself and your work, then it will show through and others will see you in a positive light and be more willing to help you.

2. Speak in a Disciplined but Friendly Tone

Your tone of voice can win people over or push them away. By moderating your voice and speaking in a friendly tone, you will let your positive attitude and outlook influence the moods and outlooks of others. If you project friendly vibes, then those vibes will be reflected back towards you. People will naturally tend to mirror those around them.

If you are positive, then the group of people you surround yourself with will rise to your level of positivity. If you are negative, it can bring down the mood of the group you are speaking to. Also, don’t let the enthusiasm of the moment and the energy of the group you are talking to lead you into outbursts of emotion. Maintain your friendly tone and don’t let yourself get carried away in the moment.

3. Maintain Your Composure

There used to be a deodorant commercial whose tag line was “Never let them see you sweat.” It is easy being friendly with people who are already friendly to you. It is much harder to present a friendly face to people who are hostile towards you or your goals. No matter how hostile or rude the person is that you are talking to, always maintain your composure; never lose your cool.

Savvy negotiators will try to get under your skin, because when you are emotionally upset, you make mistakes. Your judgment is clouded when you lose your cool. When everyone around you is losing their minds, you should maintain your composure no matter what. Be the calm eye of the storm.

4. Pay Close Attention When Others are Saying

Instead of just waiting to reply to something that the person you are speaking with is saying, pay attention to exactly what they are saying and how they are saying it. Sometimes body language will give away information about a person’s state of mind or their unspoken desires. Body language can indicate interest in what you are discussing, or boredom and disinterest. If you are paying attention, you can see when they’re saying they’re interested in a topic, but their body language says they are not.

People generally like others who are interested in the same things they are interested in. So, if you are showing a genuine interest in what they are saying, they will more likely to be friendly towards you and more receptive to what you have to say in return. We attract like-minded individuals by how we relate to them.

5. Praise Others

Everyone likes to be told how wonderful they are. But, people can tell when someone is blowing smoke up their rear end. Learning how to praise others without overdoing it is a key skill if you want others to like you and find you genuine. No one likes a glory hound. People who steal other people’s recognition, as well as arrogant and boastful people, are widely despised.

Honestly praising someone for their genuine accomplishments can engender a powerfully positive opinion of you. If you overdo it, though, people will think of you as a spineless sycophant. By praising others in a genuine fashion, you put them at ease and make them more receptive to your proposals and ideas.

How to Be More Likeable

1. Don’t Be Afraid to Make Mistakes.

If you’re a perfectionist, being easier on yourself could help expand your friendship circle. Studies show that people rate others as more likable when they make everyday blunders. That doesn’t mean you should go out of your way to make mistakes, of course. However, the research found that when people make errors in front of others, it humanizes them. In other words, it makes you more relatable if you don’t try so hard to be perfect.

Perhaps we can all learn a lesson from this study in our overly stressed world. Mistakes will inevitably happen, but we shouldn’t allow them to lower our self-esteem. If we can laugh it off when we mess up, this easygoing attitude will make us more likeable.

2. Compliment Others and Make Them Feel Good.

People naturally gravitate toward others that lift them up rather than tear them down. No one likes feeling judged or criticized or being around people with overly negative attitudes. So, if you want to become more likeable, try giving out genuine compliments to others.

For example, complimenting your friend on their stylish haircut or congratulating someone for landing a job will boost their spirits. We get much farther in life by spreading positivity and adopting an optimistic mindset, so try it out. We guarantee that others will find you likable if you treat them compassionately.

You may even help them perform better on everyday tasks by offering praise, according to one study. Researchers found that feeling valued activates the same areas of the brain as being offered money. The 2012 study also discovered that giving people praise boosted their motivation to perform a task.

So, not only does dishing out compliments make others feel good – it could actually change their life.

3. Practice Active Listening To Become Likeable.

Studies show that people who practice active listening are more attractive and likable to their peers. Most people only listen to reply, but those who slow down and attempt to understand gain more approval.

This makes sense, because when someone seems disinterested in a conversation, we immediately feel rejected. It creates distance between us and the other person, giving us the impression that they don’t care.

If you want to become more likeable, truly pay attention when you converse with someone. Allow them to speak their mind before offering your opinion, and ask questions for clarity. When you show others empathy by listening to their stories, it opens the doors for connection.

In our fast-paced world, we have largely forgotten the art of listening and being present. Our conversations have become short, tense and superficial, but we can change this by opening our hearts once again.

4. Be Curious and Ask More Questions.

If you want to become more likeable, make a point to ask others questions during conversations. Inquiring about people’s lives out of genuine curiosity may help you form deeper friendships, studies show. For example, one study found that “curiosity is associated with greater positive emotions and greater closeness when socializing with an unacquainted stranger.”

Whether you’re talking with strangers, close friends or loved ones, curiosity fosters better relationships. Plus, being inquisitive may spark thought-provoking, stimulating conversations that give you a new perspective. We all have something to share and learn from one another, if we keep an open mind.

5. Describe Others In a Positive Light.

Research shows that if you want to be likeable, avoid talking badly about others behind their backs. Instead, paint a positive picture of other people, because that’s how the listener will remember you. A study performed by Purdue University discovered that people’s perception of you can change based on how you describe others.

For instance, if you call someone else fake and narcissistic, the person you’re conversing with will associate you with these negative traits. However, if you describe another person as trustworthy and kind, the listener will recall you this way later on. Basically, since they can’t see the person you’re talking about, they ascribe the traits to you, the speaker.

So, if you want to impress others, make sure to lift people up with kindness and avoid gossip. Not only will you have a clear conscience, you probably will have more friends, too.

6. Show More Empathy to Be Likeable.

Becoming more likable doesn’t have to feel like rocket science. In general, simply showing your fellow humans love and compassion will make them more likely to reciprocate. If you put others first and give them your undivided attention, they will always have your back. Living in the spirit of service to others rather than being self-centered generates an abundance of positive energy.

When you send that powerful intention into the world, others will gravitate to you easily. Plus, empathy is contagious, so when they see you performing acts of kindness, they will like to mimic your behavior.

7. Connect To Others With A Similar Personality.

Whether consciously or unconsciously, we tend to seek out connections with people like us. Studies show that being well-liked isn’t just about having a charismatic personality – it’s about how others perceive you. For instance, the research found that “individuals with similar personality patterns liked each other more than individuals with dissimilar patterns.” So, if someone feels naturally drawn to you, they probably see a familiar aspect of themselves in you.

Final Thoughts on the Traits of Likeable People

Being more likable boils down to following the Golden Rule, in general – treat others as you’d like to be treated. If you show empathy, practice active listening, and compliment others, you will easily win people over. Also, asking questions and being curious about people’s lives can help build trust and comradery.

Finally, treating yourself with love and compassion will actually make you more likable as well. After all, life isn’t just reacting to us; it’s responding to us. Therefore, whatever we believe about ourselves will manifest in the outer world through our relationships with people. So, love yourself as you love others, and your whole life will overflow with peace and happiness.

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5 Ways To Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence

1. Use a diary to describe one emotional experience per day

2. Reflect on how you can improve your own regulation of emotion

3. Think about how you can identify other people’s feelings

4. Look at your thoughts about the other person’s emotions and the results

5. Write down the non-verbal cues you can hear or see that reflect emotions in yourself and in others

5 Reasons People Wake Up Grumpy (And How To Avoid It)

1. Sleeping wrong

2. A nightcap before bed

3. Skipping breakfast

4. A lack of exercise

5. It’s genetic

Here are 12 body language signs that she may be falling for you:

1. She’s fidgeting (one of the most prominent body language cues)

2. She makes prolonged eye contact

3. She’s smiling at you

4. She talks about you

5. She shares her story

6. She blushes (involuntary body language cues)

7. She exhibits “open” body language

8. Her voice pitch

9. She “mimics”

10. She goes out of her way

11. She shifts or touches her neck or hair (or other flirtatious body language)

12. She giggles often

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5 Ways To Get Out of A Bad Mood In Less Than Five Minutes

1. Tapping

2. Eat something (preferably healthy)

3. Aromatherapy can decrease your bad mood

4. Take a quick walk outside

5. Give yourself a pep talk

Here are a few positive self-talk phrases you can use to get out of a bad mood in less than 5 minutes:

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Here’s How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Can Change Your Mood And Reduce Stress

The mind-body connection and cognitive-behavioral therapy

Research review of cognitive-behavioral therapy for mood and stress disorders

How cognitive behavior therapy works to change your mood

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5 Things The Most Likeable People Do Differently

1. Be Positive and Let Others Feel Your Positive Attitude

2. Speak in a Disciplined but Friendly Tone

3. Maintain Your Composure

4. Pay Close Attention When Others are Saying

5. Praise Others

How to Be More Likeable

1. Don’t Be Afraid to Make Mistakes.

2. Compliment Others and Make Them Feel Good.

3. Practice Active Listening To Become Likeable.

4. Be Curious and Ask More Questions.

5. Describe Others In a Positive Light.

6. Show More Empathy to Be Likeable.

7. Connect To Others With A Similar Personality.

Final Thoughts on the Traits of Likeable People

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Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist