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The Best Foods to Eat (And Avoid) to Lose Weight

September 9, 2016 by Power of Positivity

What you eat plays a role in your journey when you want to lose weight. Many foods can help fuel your weight loss efforts, but others can hinder your progress. Learning the best foods to eat and which to avoid can make all the difference.

The easiest and quickest food to obtain tends to lack nutrients. However, it’s hard to lose weight when you opt for the first easy option you see. If you want to work toward a healthier lifestyle, it helps to gain information about your options.

When you learn the best foods, you’ll be surprised to know how easy some of them are for a quick snack or meal. You’ll gain new favorite foods, helping you escape your old habits. As you form new eating habits, you’ll find it easier to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Fourteen Foods to Eat for Weight Loss

1 – Nuts and Seeds

If you need an on-the-go snack, nuts and seeds are an easy option that helps your weight loss efforts. They contain Omega-3 and Omega-6 fatty acids, protein, fiber, and other beneficial plant compounds.

Nuts improve metabolic health, helping you lose weight. They also make you feel full longer, and you don’t have to eat much to experience the effect. Studies show that people who eat nuts tend to manage a healthier weight than others.

Seeds contain lots of fiber that expands in your stomach, making you feel full for much longer. Eat a small handful and wait about twenty minutes to see if you still feel hungry. If you do, only eat a little more, and you will feel satisfied.

Remember that nuts and seeds are high in healthy fats, so you must be mindful of your intake. Focus on portion sizes so you don’t sabotage your weight loss efforts.

2 – Leafy Greens for Weight Loss

Leafy green vegetables are low in calories but contain fiber and nutrients. The fiber content makes you feel full but doesn’t add calories, making these vegetables perfect for weight loss. Some of the leafy greens you can choose from include kale, spinach, collard greens, and Swiss chard, although there are others.

Research shows that leafy greens contain thylakoids, plant compounds that promote better appetite management and make you feel satisfied. Leafy greens also reduce cravings for unhealthy foods, making it easier to lose weight.

Leafy greens don’t only keep you feeling full, but they also help you stay hydrated. When you’re hydrated, your body can function fully, allowing you to lose more weight.

3 – Whole Greek Yogurt

Full-fat whole Greek yogurt is an excellent dairy product for losing weight. It has more protein than regular yogurt, and studies show it is effective for weight management.

Greek yogurt also contains probiotics, improving the functioning of your gut. When your gut functions well, it protects you from inflammation and leptin resistance. Leptin resistance leads to obesity, so resisting it is essential to lose weight.

4 – Cottage Cheese

Dairy products are high in protein, helping you build and maintain muscle during weight loss. Cottage cheese will leave you satisfied until your next meal and boosts your calcium intake. Studies show a link between calcium intake and healthy weight, although more research is needed before definitive results are released.

5 – Avocados – a Healthy Fat for Weight Loss

Avocados are high in carbs, but they’re also full of healthy fats and potassium. They contain monounsaturated oleic acid, making them a healthy addition to your diet. Even though they contain so much fat, they also have lots of water and fiber, making them more filling.

When you add avocados to your salads, it adds the fat content that many salads lack. It also increases the number of antioxidants your body absorbs from the vegetables in your salad. Avocados also help you absorb other fat-soluble vitamins, including A, D, E, and K.

You must be mindful of portion sizes when eating avocados, as they are energy-dense. If you eat too many of them, it’ll hinder your efforts to lose weight instead of helping them. Focus on your hunger and fullness cues, and eat slowly so that your mind and body can process.

6 – Cruciferous Vegetables

Cruciferous vegetables include broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and Brussels sprouts. They are low in calories, high in fiber, and contain protein. These vegetables also make you feel full without adding calories to your diet.

7 – Beans and Legumes

As a rich source of protein and fiber, beans and legumes are highly beneficial to your weight loss efforts. They keep you full, and the protein content helps you burn fat. You can choose from lentils, black beans, kidney beans, and many other types.

8 – Salmon

Salmon is a fatty fish that is nutritious and filling. It contains many quality proteins, healthy fats, and other essential nutrients. This nutritious food also contains iodine, a nutrient for thyroid function and metabolism.

Salmon also contains omega-3 fatty acids, helping reduce inflammation. Because inflammation plays a role in metabolic disease and obesity, it’s essential to keep it under control.

9 – Whole Grains

Studies show that whole grains are loaded with fiber and protein, allowing them to support weight loss efforts. They also promote your metabolic health, making them an essential addition to a healthy diet.

Choose from oats, brown rice, and quinoa to fulfill your whole grain need. Oats are beneficial because they contain beta-glucans, soluble fibers that make you feel full and improve metabolic health.

10 – Chili Peppers

Chili peppers contain capsaicin, which is the substance that makes them spicy. Studies show this substance improves your metabolic function, making your body burn fat quicker. It also makes you feel full, supporting your weight loss effort.

11 – Tuna

You’ll feel full longer when you eat tuna, helping you avoid cravings and taking in too many calories. Tuna also contains healthy fats, including omega-3 fatty acids, and will increase your protein intake, too.

12 – Soup

Adding more water to your diet helps you stay hydrated and feel full, helping you consume fewer calories. Soup is the perfect way to add more water while increasing your vegetables and whole grains intake.

Soup also takes longer than other foods because you must wait for it to cool before eating. Once it cools, it takes longer to eat because you have to eat it on a spoon, slurping rather than taking bites. It helps you eat mindfully, avoiding overeating and missing fullness cues.

Avoid soups that are cream-based or made with processed meats. These options won’t provide the same nutrients and may cause weight gain. Try blending in avocado instead of cream to make a rich soup.

13 – Fruit

Fruit contains lots of sugar but still has low energy density. They contain fiber, making your body digest them slower and release the sugar slowly. Sugar from fruit is released slowly to allow your blood sugar to stay steady while still giving essential nutrients.

Studies show that those who consume fruit tend to be healthier than those who don’t eat any. They contain essential vitamins and nutrients that allow you to maintain a healthy weight.

14 – Eggs (the Protein Supports Your Weight Loss)

Whole eggs are nutrient-dense foods containing protein, vitamin D, choline, and other healthy compounds. Eggs help you feel full, preventing snacking on healthy foods before lunch. Studies show that eating eggs for breakfast prevents hunger more than cereal, milk, or orange juice.

Eight Foods to Avoid for Weight Loss

1 – Potato Chips and Fries Hinder Weight Loss

While potatoes are rich in nutrients, they also contain starch. Since starch easily converts into sugar, overindulging can lead to high blood sugar and less nutrition. When you eat potatoes in the form of chips or fries, the lack of vitamins is even worse.

Potato chips and fries are soaked in unhealthy oils and fried during cooking. The cooking process and ingredients are high in calories and easy to overindulge. Studies show that eating these snacks has a direct link to weight gain.

2 – Ice Cream

Ice cream is incredibly unhealthy because it’s high in calories and loaded with sugar. While eating ice cream sometimes isn’t a problem, it’s easy to overconsume once you start. If you choose to eat it, serve yourself a small portion, and don’t go back for more.

3 – Sugary Drinks and Specialty Coffees

Soda and other sugary beverages interfere with your ability to lose weight. Choose another drink like milk, water, or unsweetened tea to decrease your calorie intake. Soda is directly related to weight gain, so you must remove it from your diet.

Specialty coffee drinks are a problem because they often contain unhealthy ingredients like sugar and artificial cream. They have lots of calories with little to no nutrients.

4 – White Bread

White bread contains little nutrients but lots of added sugar. It can lead to blood sugar spikes and weight gain. Studies show that it is linked to obesity, making it a problem if you want to lose weight.

5 – Fruit Juice – A Sneaky Sugar That Slows Down Weight Loss

Most juice gets marketed as a healthy beverage, but that’s not usually true. Fruit juice contains lots of sugar and few nutrients.

It also doesn’t make you feel full as it doesn’t require chewing or contains fiber. You’ll consume unnecessary calories and take in the same food.

6 – Baked Goods Slow Down Weight Loss

Pastries, cookies, cakes, and other baked goods contain added sugars and refined flour. They also contain trans fats, a compound linked to weight gain. Baked goods aren’t satisfying, and you’ll become hungry soon after consuming them.

7 – Alcohol

Alcohol, especially beer, contains many calories and few nutrients. Drinking alcohol in moderation is okay, but heavy drinking leads to weight gain.

8 – Pizza Slows Your Weight Loss

While it’s easy and quick to grab pizza for lunch or dinner, it could stand in the way of your weight loss efforts. It’s high in calories and doesn’t usually contain healthy ingredients. The dough often contains refined flour, and the meat is processed.

If you want to enjoy pizza, try making it at home instead. When you make it at home, you can use healthier ingredients, ensuring you don’t hinder your ability to lose weight.

Final Thoughts on Foods to Help You Lose Weight

To lose weight, you must pay attention to the foods you consume. Some foods are beneficial for weight loss, while others hinder the process. Consider swapping unhealthy foods for healthier options, but be mindful of serving sizes. These food options will help you lose weight and feel better as you swap unhealthy favorites.

11 Scientifically Proven Health Benefits of Beer

September 9, 2016 by Sarah Barkley

Scientists now agree that drinking a beer at the end of a long day can have a calming effect. Helping you relax isn’t the only benefit, though, as the health benefits of beer extend far beyond that.

When you drink beer in moderation, it can boost your health and make you feel better overall. Dietary guidelines from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services explain that moderate consumption is one drink each day for women and two for men.

While over-indulging is detrimental to your health, limiting yourself to the suggested guidelines allows you to take advantage of the many benefits of beer. From replenishing vitamins to improving heart and bone health, beer can help with many aspects of your health. One to two beers a day can also promote positive mental health.

If you don’t like to drink beer, you can reap the benefits by cooking with it instead. Knowing all of the health benefits of drinking beer everyday will help you appreciate the liquid a little more. It’ll also serve as a reminder to limit yourself when you enjoy a couple.

Beer Nutrition Facts

Beer is made from water, hops, barley, and yeast. It is mainly made of water, and water from different regions results in different tasting beer. Barley is the main ingredient in beer, though, and it is rich in starch.

Hops contain essential oils that offer a distinct beer flavor and are consider the spice of beer. Yeast is responsible for fermentation and the production of flavor compounds. All of these ingredients work together and result in many health benefits of beer.

But is beer good for you?

According to the Journal of Agriculture and Food Chemistry, beer contains plenty of antioxidants, protein, and vitamin B. Additionally, in twelve ounces of standard beer, you can also find the following:

iron
calcium
phosphates
fiber
niacin
riboflavin
choline
folate
magnesium
phosphorus
selenium
potassium
thiamine
zinc

Nine Health Benefits of Beer

1. Beer Contributes To Our Daily Nutrient Intake

Charlie Bamforth, a professor of brewing sciences, explains that beer contains prebiotics, potentially promoting the growth of good gut bacteria. Additionally, it contains comparable nutrients to healthy snacks, with significant amounts of protein and fiber.

Typically, wine is more well-known for its healthy properties, but new studies show beer contains more protein and vitamin B than wine. Plus, both drinks contain equal amounts of antioxidants, although the specific types of antioxidants differ in each.

If you replace one unhealthy, processed snack with a glass of beer, you could boost your nutrient intake. As long as you don’t go overboard with the beer, you can get a punch of nutrients you can’t get from other snacks.

2. Beer May Reduce Your Risk of Diabetes

Studies show that people who drink one serving of beer three to four times a week have a lower risk of developing diabetes. The study went on to show that men who had between one and six beers each week lowered their risk by more than 20%.

Moderate alcohol intake can also help regulate blood sugar levels and reduces insulin resistance. Since both of those factors can affect your risk of diabetes, keeping them under control is essential.

Heavy drinking counteracts these benefits, however, and increases the risk of diabetes. Stick to the recommended one to two drinks each day, and you can reap the benefits without going too far.

3. Beer May Improve Your Cardiovascular Health

The American Heart Association presented a study that indicates moderate drinkers maintained high-density lipoprotein (HDL). HDL cholesterol is good because it decreases your risk of cardiovascular diseases.

Additionally, studies show that moderate beer intake helps your body remove “bad” cholesterol. Since cholesterol can block your arteries, removing it can improve your heart health by allowing better circulation. Research shows that men who drank beer moderately are around 42% less likely to die from heart disease.

With heart disease being the leading cause of death in the United States, finding ways to improve your heart can save your life. With studies showing that moderate beer intake drastically reduces your risk, it could be a beneficial step.

Remember that with the health benefits of beer, you must stay at a moderate level of consumption. Anything more than that has the opposite effect and can lead to heart disease and stroke.

4. Beer May Strengthen Your Bones

A study published in the International Journal of Endocrinology shows that moderate beer intake increases bone density. Each serving of beer contains silicon, which is an essential mineral for bone formation. This mineral is hard to find in food sources, so beer benefits your healthy lifestyle.

Dietary silicon is essential for bone and connective tissue growth and development. People that drink moderately are nearly 38% less likely to develop osteoporosis than others. Likewise, they are less likely to break or fracture bones too.

5. Beer May Improve Your Brain Health

Beer can help protect your brain from things that cause cognitive disease. Researchers found that people who moderately drink beer are less likely to develop dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Plus, since beer increases good cholesterol, it improves blood flow to the brain, too.

Studies show that people who drink a beer or two can solve puzzles and answer questions faster than others. They are also more likely to find unexpected solutions. Additionally, moderate consumption of beer can boost your creativity.

Moderately drinking beer can also reduce tension and stress while boosting feelings of overall wellbeing. With this being the case, it helps you think clearer rather than focusing on the negative aspects of your life. As you develop a more positive mindset, your brain health significantly increases.

Another reason that beer can improve your brain health is that it contains Xanthohumol. Xanthohumol is a flavonoid known for slowing the degradation process of your memory and protecting brain cells from oxidative damage.

6. Beer Cleans Your Teeth

Researchers found that beer can keep bacteria from growing and forming on your teeth. Some bacteria form a biofilm, which promotes tooth decay and gum disease. Moderately drinking beer can stop the bacteria from developing that biofilm.

Biofilm is a slimy coating you feel on your teeth when it is time to brush them. It sometimes appears yellow and can quickly lead to troubling oral health concerns. Since beer eliminates biofilm formation, it polishes and strengthens your teeth, further protecting your gums from periodontal disease.

Beer that contains higher amounts of hops also contains tannins. Tannins serve as antioxidants, stopping the growth of bacteria and killing what already exists. Additionally, beer contains calcium and silicon, which both fortify teeth and make them stronger.

7. Beer May Reduce Inflammation

Scientists found an interesting connection between beer and inflammation.

Studies show that hops have anti-inflammatory properties. Because of this, beer can help fight inflammation, decreasing your risk of developing many diseases. Chronic inflammation can cause heart disease, stroke, lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis.

Reducing inflammation helps prevent those conditions and alleviate the symptoms if you already have an inflammatory-related disease. Additionally, hops contain humulone, a bitter acid that prevents and treats inflammation caused by viral respiratory infections.

8. Beer Helps Fight Cancer

The antioxidant Xanthohumol inhibits cancer-causing enzymes in men. It blocks extra testosterone, which is what causes prostate cancer. Because the excess hormone gets clogged, your risk of developing cancer decreases.

Additionally, research shows that the humulones and lupulones found in hops have anti-cancer and anti-inflammatory properties. Chronic inflammation eventually leads to DNA damage, which can then cause cancer. This link between cancer and inflammation is why people with chronic inflammatory bowel disease have a higher risk of developing colon cancer.

9. Beer May Help You Live Longer

A psychologist at the University of Texas discovered that people who moderately drink beer live longer than people that don’t drink at all. Since beer improves cholesterol levels, strengthens your heart, and decreases your risk of life-threatening diseases, it can add years to your life.

Other research compared people who drank moderately a few days a week and people that never drank. The results show that people who never drank alcohol were more likely to die at a younger age.

Additionally, studies show that people that never drink alcohol are more likely to develop heart disease. Remember, anything more than moderate drinking will have the opposite effect, and your risk of dying sooner increase drastically.

Final Thoughts on Scientifically Proven Health Benefits of Beer

One or two 12-ounce glasses of beer each day can improve your life in many ways—the health benefits of beer range from promoting physical health to improving mental health.

If you want to live longer and feel better, consider drinking moderately and embrace the health benefits of beer. Remember not to over-indulge, or you put yourself at greater risk of the health issues you’re trying to avoid.

Don’t feel pressured to drink only to embrace the health benefits of beer, though. If you aren’t interested in drinking beer, you can receive the same benefits from a nutrient-rich diet.

What Does Your Birth Month Reveal About Your Health?

September 9, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Interestingly, the month and season that your birthday falls in can have surprising correlations with your risk for certain diseases, and what this information reveals about your health is essential for you to know. We’ve studied the research on your birthday as it relates to your health so you can be prepared to talk to your physician about the types of diseases that you might be predisposed to.

Causality is not the same as correlation. So being born in January does not cause hypertension, for example. But there is a correlation between those with their birthday in the first month of the year and high blood pressure. Knowing these potential risks is good for you to be able to prevent the disease in the first place and also to be aware of the early warning signs and symptoms of the diseases that you might be more likely to have in your lifetime.

Let’s look at the birthdays for each month and season and discuss what they reveal about high and low risks for health problems.

What Does Your Birthday Reveal About Your Health?

The early developmental days, months, and years following your birthday can have a significant affect on your lifetime health. Being born during flu season, typically during the winter months, for example, could lead to the risk of an early severe illness that could affect your lungs’ healthy development as you grow. So, what does your birthday reveal about your health? Read below for a description of the most common health concerns for birthdays that fall in each month of the year.

A study conducted at Columbia University Medical Center and published in the Journal of the American Medical Informatics Association (JAMIA) looked at what your birthday reveals about your health by examining lifetime disease risk. The research looked at the health of 1.7 million people born between 1900 and 2000 and found 55 diseases that were significantly dependent on the month of their birth.

Here are the month-by-month health risks associated with your birthday:

January

Cardiomyopathy (diseases of the heart muscle tissue), essential hypertension (high blood pressure)

February

Malignant neoplasm of overlapping lesion of bronchus and lung (respiratory cancer)

March

Congestive cardiac failure, cardiovascular disease, atrial fibrillation (irregular heart beat), mitral valve disorder (heart valve problem that affects blood flow), chronic myocardial ischemia (reduced blood flow to heart), and primary malignant neoplasm of prostate (prostate cancer)

April

Chronic myocardial ischemia (reduced blood flow to heart), cardiac complications of care, angina (chest pain)

May

None reported in JAMIA study; lowest risk for acute upper respiratory infection

June

Pre-infarction syndrome (chest pain that comes before a heart attack); lowest risk for sexually transmitted disease screening

July

None reported in JAMIA study

August

None reported in JAMIA study

September

Vomiting, lowest risk for cardiac problems

October

Increased risk for acute upper respiratory infection, sexually transmitted disease screening, non-venomous insect bite; lowest risk for prostate cancer malignancy and pre-infarction syndrome

November

None reported in JAMIA study, lowest risk for chronic myocardial ischemia

December

Increased risk of bruising.

Other studies have found a connection between the season that someone was born in and their exposure to common indoor household allergens. The researchers say ‘Our data indicate that avoidance measures in the domestic environment aimed at the primary prevention of allergen-driven sensitization should be introduced at the earliest possible stage, if possible during infancy.’

In other research related to dust mites, scientists found that ‘higher mite levels occurred on the most heavily used fabric-upholstered furniture and carpeted floor areas of the living/family room and bedrooms.’ The good news is that ‘Mattresses were not found to be the major foci for mites.’ In other words, your bed is safe from dust mites as a cause of allergic reactions.

When are dust mites most prevalent? The summer months with the highest levels of humidity are the times when dust mites are at their highest levels in the home.

They also say that unfortunately, how much you clean may not improve things much when it comes to dust mites because ‘No significant positive correlation was noted between mite abundance and frequency or thoroughness of cleaning, amount of dust, and age of furnishings or dwelling. Significantly higher mite levels occurred on carpeted floors than on non-carpeted floors. Successive vacuuming did not significantly reduce mite abundance.’ So relax about cleaning, but it sounds like furnishings and flooring that are made from surfaces that can be wiped down are the way to go in your house to prevent dust mites and exposure to allergens in the home.

Infertility is another health risk that the JAMIA study looked at. They say that there is a decrease in births for parents who were born between the months of May through September. In other words, if your birthday is in May, June, July, August or September, you are less likely to have as many children as women who were born the other seven months of the year. The Columbia researchers say ‘Many studies show a link between maternal birth month and number of offspring supporting the belief that prenatal and early developmental effects can alter a female’s lifetime fertility.’

3 Reasons Why You Don’t Need to Sexually Label Yourself

September 8, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We’ve all grown up being used to labels and classifications for things, including our sexuality. Before recent times, most people identified as gay, straight, or bisexual. But in today’s world, a lot of folks have realized the fluidity of sexuality. For example, maybe you have been dating a man for quite some time. But find yourself attracted to a female suddenly. This means your sexual orientation doesn’t fall on either end. instead, it constantly goes back and forth. Many have realized that the gender of a person doesn’t matter so much as the substance, personality, and character underneath their skin. They have understood that you can like both genders without labeling yourself.

Of course, if you feel comfortable labeling your sexuality, there’s nothing wrong with that, just as there’s nothing wrong with choosing NOT to give yourself a label. However, if you’ve felt pressured to identify with one sexual orientation but don’t care about labels, you’ll want to keep reading.

Why You Don’t Need to Label Yourself Sexually

Society generally loves to label everything. That’s because it gives us a sense of order and helps to categorize things. Labels, in some ways, help to get to know a person. For example, as far as diet goes, it helps to know if someone follows a vegan, vegetarian, or omnivorous lifestyle. You label yourself regarding what occupation you have, what music you like, and many other aspects of life. In some ways, labels serve a very valid purpose.

However, when you become so fixated on labels that you identify solely with the words and can’t dream of straying from that label, then it becomes a problem.

If you’re a woman reading this, let’s just say that you’ve dated men your whole life. But you suddenly feel a connection with a woman. If you identified as straight before, you’d have difficulty simply getting over that label before considering flirting with the woman. If, however, you chose not to label yourself sexually, then it wouldn’t seem like such a big deal.

When you give up the sexual labels, you give yourself the freedom to live whatever lifestyle you choose without adhering to a certain categorization. You liberate yourself from the box you’ve put yourself in, and can live more openly and carefree. Labels can become limiting because if you ever choose to change your lifestyle, you’ll say, “But wait, I’m ______, I can’t do that!”

However, outside of labels, you’ll understand that we can change our whole life instantly, as we have that power. It all lies within the mind, so labels, in a way, can limit you from reaching your full potential. Getting caught up in sexual labels might hinder you from meeting someone you connect with just because you feel you can’t date a man or a woman due to your orientation.

Today, we have more labels for sexuality than ever: gay, straight, lesbian, queer, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, sapiosexual, fluid, and so on. Many people try to find the right category for them but find themselves confused and frustrated. Does the label matter that much? It may help others figure out what gender you like(if any), but what if you change your mind one day? Will you attach yourself to another label or give them up altogether?

If you still feel skeptical about this whole ‘fluid sexuality’ thing, look at this interesting theory published in Biological Reviews. Psychologist Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa suggests that sexual fluidity arose in women as a method of ‘reducing conflict and tension in polygamous relationships.”

So, maybe we evolved to not have sexual labels as a way to reduce conflict and engage in new partnerships. Maybe the human mind just wants connection overall and doesn’t care which gender it happens with. Or, maybe sexual fluidity occurs, most importantly, because humans are complex, and you can’t throw people made up of many identities into one box.

Only you can decide your sexual orientation. But just remember that if you don’t fit into one label, you don’t have to feel bad about it. Keep an open mind, and enjoy life, above all else, no matter who you choose to enjoy it with!

5 Signs A Relationship Is Draining You

September 8, 2016 by Power of Positivity

When you are in a relationship that feels like it is draining the life energy out of you, it can almost feel like it’s stealing your soul. You were created to love and to be loved, and if you aren’t feeling that, you need to reevaluate why you are staying and make a plan to get out.

Can you change things for the better, or is the only option a breakup?

That could depend on how severely negative things have become. It’s possible that your partner is not aware of your suffering.

A heart-warming love that will last your entire lifetime is a dream of many of us romantics. If your relationship is far from being your fairytale, it’s a sign that it might be stealing the life right out of you that you so rightly deserve. Your soul should rejoice when you see your partner, when you hear them speak, when you feel their touch. Your soul should be uplifted by the immense power of their love and support. If you just aren’t feeling the love, it may be too late to save this particular partnership.

5 Signs A Relationship Is Draining You

1. You can’t remember the last time you laughed

Losing your ability to experience joy is one major sign that your relationship is taking more out than it puts in. This might be indicative of a minor or major depressive episode. Anxiety, loneliness, frustration, resentment; all of these negative emotions make you feel powerless to control not just your mood, but your future in the relationship.

A study by researchers at Carleton University found that in psychologically abusive relationships, ‘the termination of a relationship was associated with an absence of positive behaviors, rather than a high frequency of negative behaviors.’

Other factors that led to the breakup of a relationship where one partner felt this way are the ‘diminishment of self-esteem, verbal abuse, social and emotional control, jealousy, and withdrawal.’

2. You feel hopeless

When you fear your partner, be it their response to your decision to leave, or your fear of further mental abuse by them due to how negative the relationship has become, you are afraid to make a change. This fear keeps you from being able to move on in a positive way and away from the toxicity.

3. You think about life after the relationship

‘If only I was single, I could do ___.’
‘I’ll never date someone like this again.’
‘I wish I could get out of this relationship without hurting my partner.’
‘In my next relationship I’ll do things differently.’

These phrases are all focused on the future. Besides that, it is clearly a future minus the relationship that is stealing your soul. You are seeking a more positive future for yourself through your daydreams, which is a sign that you’re ready to leave your relationship.

4. You put your passion on hold

Before you met your partner, you did different things, had dreams that you were going to fulfill and exciting challenges ahead of you. If you have put all of that on hold for your mate, without their support to still pursue dreams, it’s a sign that the relationship you have with them is draining you.

5. You spend less time with your friends

Researchers at the Department of Psychology at the University of Chicago socially isolated adults and studied the factors related to their mental and physical health. They found that ‘While socially isolated young adults did not report more frequent everyday stressors, they rated everyday events as more intensely stressful. They were also more likely to report passively coping with stressors, and to show greater vascular resistance, a mechanism of blood pressure control previously associated with passive coping and a risk factor for hypertension. Finally, they exhibited slower wound healing and poorer sleep efficiency.’

The team of researchers also found that those who had not spent time with their friends were more likely to feel insecure about the romantic relationship that they were in. Psychologists believe that relationship insecurity is related to how we are raised as children and if we feel loved and supported by our parents. If you are feeling insecure because your relationship is doing this, you will definitely need the help and support of your social network in order to make a break from your partner.

3 Habits That Make Parents Have Better Relationships With Their Kids

September 8, 2016 by Power of Positivity

What makes a good parent? We can read a million books for answers on how to keep our children happy and healthy. But what truly makes some parents have better relationships with their kids, while others struggle through difficult situations?

One of the most important qualities of having a good relationship with your child is the ability to listen. Kids need to feel they are seen and heard. They need to know that they matter above everything. Healthy children grow in homes that allow individuality and confidence.

Here are 3 proven habits that make parents have better relationships with their kids:

1. Awareness of a child’s emotional state and a connection to them.

Dr. John Gottman has over 40 years of research in parent-child relationships. He believes that in order to build a child’s emotional intelligence, the parent has to have the ability to understand and manage their child’s feelings in a positive way so that eventually they (the child) can regulate their own emotions. Dr. Gottman says, “Emotion Coaching Parents recognize a child’s expressions of emotion as an opportunity for connection.”

Sometimes, being aware of your child’s feelings can be enough. At other times, it might not be so easy. Children mask their feelings through their actions at times, especially if they feel that they aren’t being heard. For example, they may throw a tantrum for something as simple not being able to watch a television show, but the emotion might be triggered by an event that happened at school that day. Emotionally, they cannot pinpoint what happened and they play on those stored up emotions in other ways.

It’s up to us as parents to truly notice and listen to what they say and do. Children need to know that they can come to us anytime. They have to believe that we hold them above everything else. When they are secure in this awareness, they exude self-confidence. But, like everything else in their surroundings, you cannot raise a confident child if you, yourself, aren’t showing confidence, because children pay attention.

2. Children want to know that they can make their own decisions.

Our personality is ingrained in us from the moment we are born. We are molded by all external and internal experiences. In turn, our children learn from their surroundings. They are constantly capturing everything around them. But, they need to feel that even when you tell them to do something, that they are in charge of their decisions. This is why when you tell your child not to touch the hot stove because they will get hurt, he may still touch it. He learns through his own experience. They have to believe that they are individuals with the ability to do what they can and pay consequences. One of the most valuable lessons we can teach our children is independence from early on. They also have to learn that there are good and bad decisions.

Sensory experiences begin to play a role in development from the moment of birth. Allowing your child to experience without judgment is invaluable. It’s important to demonstrate support. This isn’t about letting your child do everything they want without consequences and actions. It’s about teaching them right from wrong and always discussing their behavior and actions.

Children who are raised in nurturing environments are more confident and secure. They are capable of dealing with obstacles in the future. Allowing your child the opportunity to feel that they can make decisions is healthy and opens up a channel of trust and communication with you as the parent. The external world can be a bombardment of overload for our children. Making time to sit with them on a daily basis for a few minutes and check in is priceless in their upbringing.

3. Setting boundaries is important.

We cannot give into all of our child’s wishes. Dr. Gottman believes that there are healthy ways of saying “No” that will help your child learn. If your child wants a toy but you can’t buy it for him, there is another way than just saying, “No!” You can express how great the toy is and perhaps at a later time it can be something that he may be able to get. Or you can talk about the toy on his level of awareness without dismissing his desires. You can express to him that just because you cannot buy it at this time, it doesn’t diminish the value of his request. This approach is allowing him to witness that he is heard and seen. You aren’t devaluing his desire, but adjusting it to this reality that right now it’s not possible to buy that toy.

A child who is given attention, even when he’s not getting what he wants, learns to overcome anything. He recognizes that not everything revolves around him. He grows up working for what he wants. We, as parents, tend to give into the tantrum and the crying because it’s easier than talking to the child, and allowing him to understand why he cannot have what he wants at the moment. Substituting the art of listening with things is not teaching face value.

Kids are smart. They learn the art of manipulation quickly. They know that with a few tantrums they can get what they want. The objective is to carefully pick those opportunities to sit with your child and explain that the behavior is not going to provide them what they want. Negative reinforcement is unacceptable. Children respect this. They need structure and assurance in that their parents are always able to provide a place of familiarity and love.

Indeed, no parenting manual exists. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. But, the ability to speak to your child in a loving and nurturing way helps the future relationship of both of you. Opening up the lines of communication starts from the moment your child is born.

“Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the make upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness. For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

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Fourteen Foods to Eat for Weight Loss

1 – Nuts and Seeds

2 – Leafy Greens for Weight Loss

3 – Whole Greek Yogurt

4 – Cottage Cheese

5 – Avocados – a Healthy Fat for Weight Loss

6 – Cruciferous Vegetables

7 – Beans and Legumes

8 – Salmon

9 – Whole Grains

10 – Chili Peppers

11 – Tuna

12 – Soup

13 – Fruit

14 – Eggs (the Protein Supports Your Weight Loss)

Eight Foods to Avoid for Weight Loss

1 – Potato Chips and Fries Hinder Weight Loss

2 – Ice Cream

3 – Sugary Drinks and Specialty Coffees

4 – White Bread

5 – Fruit Juice – A Sneaky Sugar That Slows Down Weight Loss

6 – Baked Goods Slow Down Weight Loss

7 – Alcohol

8 – Pizza Slows Your Weight Loss

Final Thoughts on Foods to Help You Lose Weight

Beer Nutrition Facts

Nine Health Benefits of Beer

1. Beer Contributes To Our Daily Nutrient Intake

2. Beer May Reduce Your Risk of Diabetes

3. Beer May Improve Your Cardiovascular Health

4. Beer May Strengthen Your Bones

5. Beer May Improve Your Brain Health

6. Beer Cleans Your Teeth

7. Beer May Reduce Inflammation

8. Beer Helps Fight Cancer

9. Beer May Help You Live Longer

Final Thoughts on Scientifically Proven Health Benefits of Beer

What Does Your Birthday Reveal About Your Health?

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Why You Don’t Need to Label Yourself Sexually

5 Signs A Relationship Is Draining You

1. You can’t remember the last time you laughed

2. You feel hopeless

3. You think about life after the relationship

4. You put your passion on hold

5. You spend less time with your friends

Here are 3 proven habits that make parents have better relationships with their kids:

1. Awareness of a child’s emotional state and a connection to them.

2. Children want to know that they can make their own decisions.

3. Setting boundaries is important.

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