Page 1532

The Behaviors of People Who Make The Best Friends

September 3, 2016 by Power of Positivity

In the age of having thousands of Facebook “best friends,” real friendships built on respect, a common bond, and shared memories are indeed a rarity. However, friendships allow us to have a connection with another human being, have a support system, and share memories with someone else. Friendships are vital to human existence, and certain habits can actually make you closer to some than others.

If you want to polish up your friendship skills, you might try the following things to become the best friend anyone could ever have.

9 Behaviors of People Who Make Fantastic Friends

1. They accept you as you are.

People who make the closest friendships don’t try to change others; they simply accept them, flaws and all, and enjoy getting to see another perspective of the world. Friends don’t always have to agree on everything or have the same personality; diversity makes the world go around, and true best friends know this. They embrace people’s true self and find the positives in everyone they meet.

2. The best friends stick with you no matter what.

Fairweather friends don’t sit well with those who know what friendship is really about. This is the person who would go to your house at 3AM if you needed to talk, and not complain about it. The best friends don’t just act like a friend when it’s convenient for them; they always have their friends’ backs, no matter the situation.

3. They encourage you to grow and learn as a person.

They feel happy when you succeed and want you to become the best version of yourself. There’s no jealousy or competition in a real friendship, and the best people out there would never dream of such animosity being present in their relationships. Real friends want to see you do well, not see you fall.

4. The best friends make others feel comfortable.

You can share anything with these types of people, and not feel awkward about it. The most treasured friends out there feel comfortable in their own skin, and make the space available for others to feel the same. In their company, you feel totally free and happy, not like you’re being judged or critiqued. If you want to become the best friend ever, first be a friend to yourself and love the person staring back at you in the mirror.

5. They put in the effort.

These people actually show interest in the friendship, and you don’t feel like you constantly have to call or text them to hang out or simply chat. We all lead busy lives, but the genuine friends don’t leave their pals in the dust. Friendship is a two-way street, and the best friends out there would never make anyone put in all the effort in the relationship.

6. The best friends make you come to life.

Your genuine and closest friends make you feel refreshed, inspired, and vibrant about life. After hanging out with them, you feel more alive than before, not drained and depressed. They don’t spend their time complaining and moaning about problems. Instead, they truly relish every second they spend with you, and care about you having a good time.

7. They always tell you the truth.

The best friends don’t beat around the bush; they tell it like it is, even if the truth hurts. They just want the best for you, so they don’t believe in sugarcoating anything to make life easier. You can always count on this person to tell the absolute truth, and truly care about your well-being.

8. Best friends cut you some slack.

These people know perfection doesn’t exist, so if you make a mistake, they won’t make a huge fuss about it. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around them; you can be free to be yourself without the fear of judgment or ridicule. If you slip up, you can count on this person to help you back on your feet, not criticize you for falling in the first place.

9. They never gossip about you.

Real friends would never dream of engaging in the toxic practice of gossip, because it does nothing but bring everyone involved down. If they need to talk to you, they do it face-to-face. You can always count on this friend to have your back, and not turn on you when you need them most.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Here’s How Only Two Mindsets Decide The Fate Of Your Relationship

September 2, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We all strive to have a healthy, happy relationship, but did you know the key to having just that lies mostly in your own mindset? Many of us would like to think that our partner’s behavior and actions solely determine our happiness in a relationship, but we also play a part in that partnership’s health. We will likely bring that into our relationships if we have a negative attitude about life and ourselves. If we have a closed mind, we won’t have the willingness to change and compromise if we need to.

Our mindset determines essentially everything else because our mind creates our reality. What we think, we become. So, just like a healthy mindset allows you to make strong friendships and create the life you want, it also brings healthy romantic relationships into your life. We will explain below why a good mindset is critical in relationships.

Your Mindset Is Critical In The Success of Your Relationship. Here’s Why…

The healthiest relationships are comprised of two whole, healthy, happy people who just want the best for themselves and their partners. A lot of the discord and problems in relationships happen when two broken people come together and expect the relationship to fix them. They have a negative mindset but expect that being in a relationship will somehow transform them into a positive person. Sadly, it just doesn’t work like that.

If you want a successful relationship, your mindset plays a key role. In fact, Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck studies fixed and growth mindsets extensively and how that plays into relationships. First of all, what are fixed and growth mindsets?

She explains the difference:

“In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong.

In a growth mindset, people believe their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.”

So, in a growth mindset, you have a person who wants to become better, achieve more, and put in the effort and dedication required to reach their goals.

This can be applied to relationships, jobs, intelligence, etc. These people believe they can do better and don’t wish to remain stagnant. Those with fixed mindsets believe they can’t change, so they don’t try.

Why does this apply to relationships, you ask?

Well, think about it. If two people have a fixed mindset, meaning they don’t think they can develop any of their qualities, they will become complacent. They will accept mediocrity and not push one another to become better. They will suffer from low self-esteem. As a result, they will fall into the mentality that they have reached their peak. They don’t want to work on themselves, so how can they work on an entire relationship?

When interviewed on a podcast, Carol stated, “When people are in a fixed mindset, hard work means you’re just not good at this. Because people who are really smart or talented don’t have to sweat. And when we’re told we’re so smart as kids, we come to equate that with not having to work hard like these ‘lesser’ people. But, wow, does that curtail your chances in life!”

She goes on to explain how this mindset can affect relationships.

“If something goes wrong, who’s to blame? Am I the deficient, bad person, or are you the deficient, bad person?” says Carol. “Every relationship has its ups and downs, so when you’re having a down, does this mean the relationship is inherently bad vs. good? In a fixed mindset, we’re always judging. Who’s good? Who’s bad? Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who’s to blame? Is the relationship good or bad? This is not the optimal way to be. Instead, in a growth mindset, you understand that if you face and discuss an issue, then the relationship can get even stronger.”

Basically, what fixed vs growth mindsets boil down to is that one is focused on getting better and being open to change, while one is closed off to change and can’t see the bigger picture. It comes down to this thing we know as the comfort zone: will you stay there, or will you take your chances and see what else you can find outside of familiar territory?

Everything in the universe continually expands, so if we don’t go along with this energy, we will contract, which leads to complacency and closed-mindedness. Commit to a growth mindset, and see not only your relationships but your whole life, take flight.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Signs You’ve Become Someone You’re Not

September 2, 2016 by Chris Butler

Have you become someone you no longer recognize?

Who we are often changes from day to day, but you know in your heart when you’re embodying your truest self. However, in this world, it’s easy to lose yourself among all the responsibilities, pressures, noise, chaos, and general mayhem that goes on during our daily lives. Without all the distractions and unnecessary parts of life today, we could easily find ourselves. However, in our modern lives, doing so takes time and effort. To find yourself, you have to disconnect from “reality” for a bit, and actually tune into your soul. Listen to it and figure out what it truly wants.

If you’ve done that and still feel that you’ve become someone you’re not, read our list to find out for sure(and find ways to make the journey back to your highest self).

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

5 Signs You’ve Become Someone You’re Not

1. You don’t feel happy most of the time.

When you’ve become someone besides yourself, you won’t feel content most of the time. Something deep within you longs for attention, so you have to silence all that chatter in your mind and tune into your spiritual self. Pinpoint what in your life feels foreign and not natural to you, and then work on eliminating it. We came here to show up as true, authentic beings, so don’t sell yourself short.

Happiness starts from within, so remember that anytime negative emotions arise. You deserve to embody your true self and get to know yourself on the deepest level possible. It’s understandable that sometimes life gets in the way of revealing our authenticity, but don’t let that stop you. If you’ve become someone you’re not, you’re only a decision away from becoming someone else. That’s the beauty of life; we have free will to change our mindset, outlook, location, job, and anything else important to us. Changing is hard, but it all begins with one decision to start the journey.

2. You feel uncomfortable in your own skin.

Another indicator of becoming someone you’re not is feeling disconnected from yourself, or not liking yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable with who you are, perhaps it’s who you’re not that’s really the issue. Think about it: when we hide parts of ourselves so that we don’t get judged, we start to feel uncomfortable because we have to play a role. We have to wear a mask in order to feel like we fit in. However, this won’t bring true happiness. If you don’t like who you’ve become, check in with who you’re hiding in order to feel alive, vibrant, and whole again.

3. You compare yourself to others.

When we become our authentic selves, we can strip away the layers of hate and judgment, and allow our highest selves to shine. If you compare yourself to others often, you’re just settling on being small. You’re shrinking in order to fit in, but we were born to stand out. Don’t allow yourself to engage in the act of comparison; you deserve to let your individuality come to the surface, without standing in anyone’s shadow or feeling inferior to others.

4. You don’t care about yourself.

If you don’t love and care for yourself, who will? At the end of the day, we really just have ourselves, so we can’t neglect the person staring back at us in the mirror. If you’ve become someone you’re not, you probably don’t want to bother with truly caring for yourself, because you don’t even recognize yourself. When this happens, you need to make time to go deep within and figure out what your soul really wants. It talks to us if we really take time to listen.

5. You look to others for acceptance.

By looking to others for approval, we take away that power from ourselves. Truthfully, none of us needs permission to be ourselves on this planet. We can all coexist in our individuality, and learn from one another. If you have become someone else, you probably rely on others a lot for acceptance because you can’t even accept yourself. However, don’t fall victim to this way of thinking. Simply be what comes naturally, and forget what others have to say about it.

How to Become Someone You Like

You were meant to keep growing as a person. Growth means you seek to learn new things and stay curious about life. Sometimes, during a busy life, you feel as if you’ve lost your true self. Those things you once believed in and lived for have gotten pushed aside. What can you do to become someone you recognize again?

1. Find faith

Faith in God is the best way to find your true self. Faith says, “I want to become who God made me to be.” You believe that your life is more than a bunch of events strung together with no purpose. Your faith can help you become someone you recognize again. Faith helps you become someone who believes from the moment you were born you were on a journey overseen by your Creator. An ancient text says it like this,

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (Psalm 139:16 NIV)

Having faith anchors you in the past, present, and future. It gives you hope and helps you to be your best.

2. Change where you need to change

Part of growing and maturing as a person is realizing your strengths and your weaknesses. It’s evaluating areas where you need to change. Perhaps you realize you need to become a more sensitive person or be a more thoughtful partner. The best ways to change involve

Setting small goals-Set realistic goals for yourself. You won’t change in 24 hours, but you may begin to change in 24 days.
Some self-reflection- Be sure to stop and look at yourself. Be realistic about how you’re doing.
Asking others for input-Ask your family or friends how you’re doing. Ask them to be honest with you.
Stepping out–Growth and change are hard work. Don’t give up if it seems like you’re not changing. Unless you’re willing to step out and make the uncomfortable changes in your life, you’ll stay exactly where you are.

3. Stay connected with like-minded people

Being in a community with like-minded people guards against losing focus on who you are. Having strong ties with family and a social group gives you better health and a better sense of well-being. These connections with others have physical benefits. It’s been found that people who live the longest have strong ties to family, friends, and people in their community. Social isolation is linked to the risk of more heart problems and other diseases.

4. Other things you can do to become someone you recognize again

Resist the urge to sit around-Stay busy and engaged with life.
Stay curious- Reading, listening to podcasts, listening to a sermon at church are all ways you can keep learning about yourself and life.
Observe others-If there are people you admire, observe how they live their life. What do they value? Where do they find strength and meaning?
Live a healthy life-Choose to eat healthy, nutritious foods and get some exercise. You’ll feel better and have more energy.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Signs Your Partner Is Hiding Their Emotions

September 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

You are a product of your childhood and how others treated you. If you felt abandoned as a child, you likely may suffer from emotional abandonment. This term describes the emotional state of feeling undesired, insecure, and discarded. Someone who suffers from emotional abandonment may feel a sense of loss and withdrawal and cannot connect to another. When things become too serious in a relationship, the emotionally abandoned person will hide their emotions.

So what are the ten signs you partner is hiding emotions? Watch for these.

1. You are experiencing long periods of silence.

One of the hardest things to deal with in a relationship is the silence between two people who once shared deeply. If your partner isn’t speaking for long periods, they might be experiencing depression, isolation, or simply trying to disengage from the intensity of the relationship. They might feel comfortable withdrawing, but it’s no picnic for the other person in the partnership. You may always walk on eggshells, not knowing if they will explode. This may also signify that your partner is getting emotional support from someone outside the relationship.

2. You are having one-side conversations.

You find that you are the only one speaking in the relationship. You’re the one who asks the simple questions, “How was your day? What’s going on? Let’s talk….” It might just be a red flag that your relationship is in trouble. Emotionally disconnected individuals tend to shut down quickly. They don’t partake in small talk. They say what needs to be said, and then it’s done. But, this doesn’t make a healthy relationship.

3. You are witnessing self-absorbed behavior.

If your partner is emotionally withdrawn, they might not even tap into your emotions. An emotionally abandoned individual doesn’t understand what is truly bothering them. They struggle with just making it through one conversation. They become self-centered and self-absorbed. These emotions can be the leftovers from past relationships, fears of abandonment from childhood, or abuse. They can’t open up psychologically. These types of folks could genuinely benefit from therapy. But, most of the time, they don’t see they have a problem.

4. You are in denial, and so is your partner.

If you make excuses for your partner emotionally withdrawing, you may be in denial. These psychological patterns might not have been noticed at the beginning of the relationship, or you may not have wanted to accept them. So here you are, dealing with the silence, anger, and isolation of a broken relationship. Your partner might also deny the underlying issue in the relationship. Seek help!

5. Your partner has difficulty dealing with their parents.

Dr. Elliot D. Cohen shares in Psychology Today that: “Emotional neglect involves failing to provide emotional support that one should provide, given one’s relationship to the other. Thus it is thought that a parent emotionally neglects a child when the parent fails to show the child the level of affection or attention that, as a parent, she should (even when she may be providing for the physical needs of the child, such as food, health care, clothing, and shelter).”

Your partner may still suffer from the effects of a neglected and abandoned childhood and doesn’t know how to display the nurturing part of love in your relationship.

6. You are experiencing physical or emotional abuse.

As a child, you depend on others for safety in your surroundings and environment. However, if you grew up with abuse, the world is unsafe; therefore, you will continue to play out the same emotional and physical abuse you learned as a child. You might not even recognize it. Usually, the things we fear and dislike in others are the ones that are very prominent in ourselves. For example, a child with alcoholic friends hated the circumstances and grew up following the same behaviors. Emotional and physical abuse are more profound signs of something that has not been addressed: repressed anger, fear, loss, abandonment, and insecurity. Are you willing to continue putting yourself through this, and at what cost?

7. Your partner is showing signs of addiction

Lance Dodes, M.D. is a former professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He shares his research on addiction as follows:

“I have found that virtually all addictive acts have this form. This psychology that drives addictions can be summarized in three elements:

Every addictive act is preceded by a feeling of helplessness or powerlessness. Addictive behavior functions to repair this underlying feeling of helplessness.
States of overwhelming helplessness, such as the feelings that precipitate addictive acts, produce a feeling of rage. This rage is actually a normal response to the serious emotional injury of losing a sense that one is in control over oneself and one’s life.
In addition, the rage at helplessness is always expressed via a substitute behavior (a displacement). If this feeling were expressed directly, there would be no addiction. If drinking were how a man regularly dealt with states of overwhelming helplessness, then he would have a repetitive, intensely driven, apparently irrational drive to drink. We call such compulsive behavior an addiction.”

8. Your partner isn’t taking care of his/her body.

If you find that your partner isn’t on top of his/her hygiene or appearance, as before, this is a sign of emotional withdrawal and neglect. The underlying cause can be sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, or other emotional turmoil. He/she may not be able to understand the behavior. You may address it lovingly, but it might not be well-received.

9. Your partner doesn’t touch you.

When someone is emotionally withdrawn, they also become physically removed. There might be another person in the picture. Or the stress of the hidden emotions is overwhelming. If you can’t discuss the reason for the lack of touch and anger rises, it’s time to truly get help. No one wants to be in a relationship with emotional and physical neglect.

10. Your partner doesn’t care about your emotions.

How was your partner when you began your relationship? Was they supportive? Or have you always been the one to reach out to make and mend the relationship? This is the time, to be honest about your relationship. Do you want to continue in a union with someone who doesn’t want to get help, doesn’t want to talk about things, and doesn’t care how you feel? The beauty of a safe and healthy relationship is in the ability to compromise and love one another without judgment. Be honest. Find your truth and follow your intuition. Your relationship shouldn’t be an emotional prison.

10 Reasons Why Most Women Don’t Find A True Gentleman

September 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Women often complain that chivalry is dead and that no true gentlemen are left in the world. But, chivalry is a concept from the medieval period that dictated the behavior between two warriors.

The code of chivalry only relates to women in that women were a man’s property (either daughter or wife) and what a warrior needed to do so as not to offend his host or liege lord by not taking liberties with the women of the house.

The idea of the gentleman grew out of the aristocracy and the chivalric code when firearms made the knight obsolete. With their purpose (waging war) taken away from them, the aristocracy had to justify their existence and maintain their warlike demeanor even though they were rarely called upon to fight. Out of this grew the idea of personal honor and the willingness to fight at the drop of a hat for any offense, real or perceived. Throw women into the mix, and men fought, killed, or died to protect a woman’s honor.

Remember that this time period had very little law and order, and women in particular had very few rights as they were still seen as property. During this time, minstrels were touring Europe and singing ballads about the deeds of chivalrous knights and their romances with (often unavailable) women.

These stories were very different from the actual state of things and were essentially romance novels, songs, and poems of the period.

What does this history have to do with the modern world? Those same warped ideas about chivalry have been passed down through the generations through stories, books, plays, movies, and television. The intersection between this romantic fantasy and the modern world where men and women are equal leads to the ten reasons why most women don’t find a true gentleman.

10 Reasons Why Most Women Don’t Find A True Gentleman

1. The tale of ‘Prince Charming’

Women are raised to expect a prince charming to sweep them off their feet and carry them into a magical land where they are rich and royal and live happily ever after. As fantasies go, it isn’t bad but completely unrealistic on almost every level. This is beyond the means of 99.99% of men on the planet, yet movies, TV shows and books sell this plot line to women relentlessly.

Why?

Because it sells. It is a fantasy that women want and when reality doesn’t come close to meeting this fantasy, some women become embittered. Especially when women fall for narcissistic manipulators pretending to be Prince Charming who use those women and cast them aside.

2. The idea that women need rescuing

Men, on the other hand, are expected to rush to a woman’s aid at the drop of a hat only to be shuffled off into the friend zone. Sometimes a man goes out of his way to help a woman, only to be told, “I don’t need your help, I can do it myself.”

Women have been told for the last fifty years that they are equals and can do anything a man can do. If you want knights back, then ladies have to encourage it. Men know that women are their equals already.

3. The pay-to-Play fallacy

Gentleman should always pay for the date except for when a woman is specifically taking the man out, and that is established before the date commences. But, it is generally understood that the man will pay for everything when on the date, no questions asked. Dinner? Sure. Dancing after? Absolutely. Movie? No problem. After years on the dating scene, gentleman will be able to tell the difference between women who are sincerely interested in a relationship, and those who are using men to subsidize their lifestyles(there are a lot of them these days).

With the proliferation of dating apps, a woman in a reasonably sized city could get a date every night of the week. That is hundreds of dollars a week in free meals and entertainment. A gentleman isn’t stupid. So, these women are left with those men who are just as shallow, materialistic and selfish as they are and complain that chivalry is dead. It isn’t dead. A gentleman isn’t going to be your next sucker either. If you want a nice gentleman, you must be a lady in return. Be sincere, gracious and honest with yourself about why you are on that date.

4. Holding out for “the one”

If there is a one for you, they are probably slinging noodles in Shanghai. There are over eight billion people on the planet. The odds that the ONE goes to the same gym as you is beyond ludicrous. So stop using that Mr. Perfect who resides in the matrix of your fantasies to judge all men against. No one can live up to your idea of “THE ONE,” so the men you go out with will fall short of your unrealistic expectations. No one is perfect, not even you.

5. Putting financial security ahead of love.

It is almost a joke that women all want to marry a doctor, lawyer or someone with another high-paying career. See, the thing is, doctors and lawyers are heavily invested in their jobs and have horrible working hours, which means they don’t have time for you or your needs. They can throw cash at you through jewelry, clothes or cars. But, you might find that you are incredibly lonely. Maybe you should have given that sweet history teacher who gave you his coat on a cold night a chance. You might struggle a little more financially, but you might have found a true gentleman who made you happy.

6. Immature male behaviors

What girl doesn’t want to land a guy whose family is loaded? The problem with these guys is that they never earned their own way. They were given the best education, fancy cars, and just about every whim catered to them because their parents were too busy making the fortune they are now enjoying. See, the thing is, he doesn’t know the value of anything because he hasn’t had to earn it, fight for it or struggle through heavy odds to achieve anything.

He also doesn’t value you. You are a trophy to him, something he collects and will most likely discard once you wreck your body giving him children. That is what you can look forward to, being replaced by a younger model. He does it with his cars; why not with you? After all, you are just another possession to him.

7. The Beauty who looks for her Beast

People don’t really change. If he acts like a beast, it is because he is a beast on the inside and outside, and you are not going to change him. Violence, rage, screaming and abuse are fine in a story on the big screen, but no one should have to endure that in real life.

Find someone who is gentle with you and treats you like the lady you are. Don’t expect a beast to be anything but a beast.

8. Expecting other people to change

You have been kissing a lot of frogs to find your prince. But, that is not how it works. You shouldn’t go into a relationship already expecting a man to change into something he is not already. Do people change over time? Sure. But don’t expect a man to suddenly change into “THE ONE” (see above) just because you kissed him.

9. The Tarzan fallacy

You think that taking some wild man out of his natural habitat, whether that is an African jungle or the concrete jungle, and enlightening him with your civilized ways is a good idea. Then go right ahead, but understand this. He will always be that wild man in his heart. So, if you don’t want a wild animal who swings from the vines and wrestles gorillas, you may need to revisit your motives for wanting to change him. Is it to suit your needs so that he will fit into your world? Or is it because you think you can polish those rough edges? Don’t go into a relationship expecting him to turn into something he isn’t. Either you want him the way he is or you don’t.

10. Looking at the book without opening it

You want a gentleman, great. But, he may not look like what you expect. He may be big, grouchy and intimidating but also the most sweet, caring and affectionate man you have ever met. Don’t judge a book by its cover; you may find your true gentleman where you least expect it. After all gentlemen, like ogres and onions, have layers.

Avoid Saying These 8 Things to Someone With Depression

September 1, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Depression hits hard and can linger for long periods if left untreated. It’s the overwhelming sense of sadness, gloom, and doom. This mental disorder is debilitating, as it paralyzes the person into withdrawal and stress and can contribute to suicidal thoughts. These “blue moods” can turn into serious disorders that require treatment. Depression may also be a symptom of some other mental health issues.

Depression exists if you have at least five of the following symptoms for at least two consecutive weeks:

A depressed mood during most of the day. You might especially notice it in the morning
Fatigue or less energetic almost daily, or at least several days per week
Feeling worthless or guilty almost every day
Impaired concentration or indecisive
Insomnia (the inability to sleep) or hypersomnia (sleeping excessively) almost every day
Marked diminished interest or pleasure in most daily activities
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide (no fear of death)
A sense of being slowed down
Restlessness
Unintentional and noticeable weight loss or weight gain

This mental illness is not a joking matter. The last thing anyone needs, suffering from this mental disorder is uncalled-for suggestions or sarcastic remarks. You might think you are helping by insensitive remarks, but they do not help.

8 Things Never to Say to Someone Who Struggles With Depression

Here are eight things you should avoid saying to someone suffering from depression:

1. “Will you snap out of it already?”

This statement dismisses the mental disorder. It makes the person feel as if he or she is feeling sorry for themselves. It forces the person encountering the sadness to introspect and withdraw from others. No one wants to be a burden to anyone.

What to say instead: “Would you like to talk about what you’re going through?” Offer a listening ear and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings.

2. “It’s all in your mind.”

In our society, we have been ingrained with the stigma of mental illness as a considerable dysfunction. We are bombarded with the media’s constant scrutiny and negativity about depression, anxiety and other disorders. Even though millions of folks suffer from one sort of mental disorder, we are still incapable of being sensitive. We see mental illness/disorder as a sign of weakness. Saying this to a person is degrading their ability to feel emotions. You are letting them know that they are making things up.

What to say instead: “I’m here for you.” Let them know that you will support them no matter what.

3. “I thought you were stronger than this.”

Usually, those who make these types of comments are folks who, themselves, avoid confronting their emotional issues. This is a bullying attitude. It’s disregarding the person’s emotional state while trying to bulldoze yourself into a better mood. If only it were that easy!

What to say instead: “You’re strong for reaching out.” Acknowledge the courage taken to open up about their struggles and seek help.

4. “Suck it up, toughen up, life is hard for everyone.”

This statement is hardcore insensitive. It’s expressing a lack of compassion for sadness and emotions. Someone who says this has a massive issue with reaching their own emotions. In other words, it’s letting the person know that the universe doesn’t revolve around them. This also expresses that depression is a sign of weakness.

What to say instead: “Let’s find some resources together.” Help them explore treatment options or therapy, and offer to help them find a mental health professional if interested.

5. “No one ever said life is fair.”

This statement is the opposite of empathy. It’s like telling the depressed person to escape their self-absorbed world and return to reality. A depressed person has little energy to see clearly. The sadness is overwhelming. Depression is not selfish. It paralyzes the ability to see the positive side of life.

What to say instead: “It’s okay to not be okay.” Let them know that you understand that depression can be a complicated and overwhelming experience and that you don’t expect them to recover without support.

6. “Grow up.”

Depression can hit anyone. You aren’t exempt from it at any age. This comment expresses a lack of compassion and quickly discards the sufferer’s feelings. The underlying symptoms of depression are serious matters. “Grow up” is not the solution. Sometimes being so grown up and full of overwhelming responsibilities triggers depression.

What to say instead: “Take your time.” Let them know there’s no rush to heal and that taking things one day at a time is okay. Encourage them to focus on self-care and treat themselves well as they heal from their depression.

7. “Perhaps you should try learning from your mistakes.”

Some people believe that by pointing out another person’s flaws they are helping the person or giving them a different perspective. But someone suffering from depression already feels the world’s weight on their shoulders. What this statement does is create even more insecurities. The depressed person knows his/her mistakes. Bringing it up doesn’t help, but it causes more stress. It adds an intense sense of failure.

What to say instead: “It’s okay to ask for help.” Remind them that seeking help for depression is a sign of strength, not weakness.

8. “Happiness is a state of mind.”

A healthy mind can adjust to its surroundings. But, a mind under severe stressors, anxiety, or depression cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Depression can be triggered by a considerable loss or change in life. Mourning and sadness are parts of life. At this moment, this person cannot conquer the mind over matter. It’s not something they will quickly shake off.

What to say instead: “I believe in you.” Offer words of encouragement and support. These words let them know you have faith in their ability to overcome depression.

Final Thoughts on Knowing What to Say to Someone Dealing With Depression

Depression can arrive at many times in our lives. There is help out there. Our uplifting community on Facebook, psychotherapy, medication, natural cures, and alternative life changes can lessen the burden. If you are suffering from this disorder, please get help and don’t entertain such comments as those above. Your mental and physical health is invaluable; you do not need anyone projecting how you should feel when you need loving support.

The Community

Our Free Community of Positively Powerful SuperFans

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

9 Behaviors of People Who Make Fantastic Friends

1. They accept you as you are.

2. The best friends stick with you no matter what.

3. They encourage you to grow and learn as a person.

4. The best friends make others feel comfortable.

5. They put in the effort.

6. The best friends make you come to life.

7. They always tell you the truth.

8. Best friends cut you some slack.

9. They never gossip about you.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Your Mindset Is Critical In The Success of Your Relationship. Here’s Why…

She explains the difference:

Why does this apply to relationships, you ask?

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Signs You’ve Become Someone You’re Not

1. You don’t feel happy most of the time.

2. You feel uncomfortable in your own skin.

3. You compare yourself to others.

4. You don’t care about yourself.

5. You look to others for acceptance.

How to Become Someone You Like

1. Find faith

2. Change where you need to change

3. Stay connected with like-minded people

4. Other things you can do to become someone you recognize again

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

1. You are experiencing long periods of silence.

2. You are having one-side conversations.

3. You are witnessing self-absorbed behavior.

4. You are in denial, and so is your partner.

5. Your partner has difficulty dealing with their parents.

6. You are experiencing physical or emotional abuse.

7. Your partner is showing signs of addiction

8. Your partner isn’t taking care of his/her body.

9. Your partner doesn’t touch you.

10. Your partner doesn’t care about your emotions.

10 Reasons Why Most Women Don’t Find A True Gentleman

1. The tale of ‘Prince Charming’

2. The idea that women need rescuing

3. The pay-to-Play fallacy

4. Holding out for “the one”

5. Putting financial security ahead of love.

6. Immature male behaviors

7. The Beauty who looks for her Beast

8. Expecting other people to change

9. The Tarzan fallacy

10. Looking at the book without opening it

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

8 Things Never to Say to Someone Who Struggles With Depression

1. “Will you snap out of it already?”

2. “It’s all in your mind.”

3. “I thought you were stronger than this.”

4. “Suck it up, toughen up, life is hard for everyone.”

5. “No one ever said life is fair.”

6. “Grow up.”

7. “Perhaps you should try learning from your mistakes.”

8. “Happiness is a state of mind.”

Final Thoughts on Knowing What to Say to Someone Dealing With Depression

The Community

Our Free Community of Positively Powerful SuperFans

Rise and Shine On! Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist

Stay Connected With

Us

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

Rise and Shine On!
Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist