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6 Things You Should Stop Doing to Your Partner To Make Them Feel Ugly

Relationships require work. They require mutual respect, honesty, support and unconditional love. But, what happens when one partner does not recognize how destructive they are being? It’s usually the simple comments, comparing, and jokes that become malicious. Behind every comment that ends with “I’m just kidding” there is some truth that opens the door to dishonesty. It’s in these moments that the we are triggered with the insensitivity of our mates.

Here are 6 things you should stop doing to your partner to make them feel ugly:

1. Compare your mate to another person.

Nothing hurts deeper than someone comparing us to another. Whether it be body size, hair, clothing style or mannerisms, it’s painful to feel that we aren’t good enough. Also, no one wants to be sized up against an ex. If you are comparing your new mate to your ex, you shouldn’t be with this new person. It’s hard enough to start relationships on a clean slate. Everyone has a past, but when we are compared to someone we haven’t even met, we tend to take those things even more personally. Magazine ads are photoshopped. People are not. It’s time we are kinder and gentler with our partners.

2. Pretending you are listening.

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You are either on the computer, or watching television, and you aren’t hearing what your mate is saying. You say whatever you feel will get you back to what you are doing. You agree even when you aren’t hearing what is being said. So, you disregard his/her questions and get back to the business of keeping your attention on the screen. There is ugliness in not accepting and acknowledging your partner. There is a sense of loneliness and rejection in not really seeing them or hearing them.

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” ~ Donald Miller

3. Criticizing them in front of others.

When you judge or criticize your partner in front of others, it is demoralizing. You aren’t just making him or her look bad, you are making yourself look really mean. If you think that others don’t catch the sarcasm, the little comments that are put-downs, or the arrogant remarks, you are truly living in your own universe. People notice those things. It says a lot about character, compassion and the type of person you are. It’s in the small comments that your partner sees your inconsideration, your disrespect and the ability to manipulate with an audience.

4. Calling them by pet names that may embarrass them.

You can’t call your partner, “Chunky Monkey” and expect them to feel good about themselves. Nicknames are not always terms of endearment. They can be sarcastic and disconcerting. When you patronize your partner, especially in front of others, you are not making a point. You are devaluing them and adding salt to an already open wound.

It’s one thing to encourage your partner to lose weight, work out together, and eat healthier. It’s another to call them out in public, or even behind closed doors. This is manipulative and abusive. It’s hurtful, distasteful, and it creates a huge barrier in the relationship. Even if you think it’s “cute,” don’t do it.

5. Telling them they look awful in an outfit.

You might think you are helping your partner out by voicing your opinion, but the moment you judge an outfit, a hairstyle, makeup, or whatever else pertains to looks, you are hurting that person.

Unless you are a professional stylist, it’s best not to input on how your partner looks. Most of us are doing the best we can with what we know. There are sensitive ways to sharing how you feel with your mate. You can say, “I don’t like that outfit” rather than, “You look awful in that outfit.” There is always a healthy and positive way of expressing things that come out less harsh. You do not have to be so blunt that the person feels they are ugly, whether it be the dress or slacks.

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” ~ J.K. Rowling

6. Criticizing their friends.

You are a reflection of who you associate with. When you start to tell your partner that you don’t like their friends, you are creating a huge division. You don’t have to like his or her friends, and you can start to make new friends together. But, telling your partner that his or her friends are horrible is not going to be an easy win in the long haul. Good friends stick around. You cannot judge every single person and make your mate feel bad about who is in their lives. When you compare your mate to that friend you dislike, you are truly being arrogant and distressing.

According to the triangular theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, the three components of love are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy encompasses feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and bond-ness. Commitment encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long term, the shared achievements and plans made with that other person.”

Related article: The Most Hurtful Word You ‘Should’ Never Say In Your Relationship

If you are in a committed relationship, you should be able to discuss issues, challenges and have deep conversations about the things you like and don’t like. Respect is a two way street. You should always treat your partner with the same respect and appreciation that you expect. There is always a loving way to reach an agreement. It’s a matter of being kind.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

6 Behaviors That Make People Like You More

Likable people have an aura of confidence and joyfulness. They are always smiling. These folks don’t carry the world on their shoulders or have anything that forces negativity in your presence. Their behavior is easy. But what makes others like someone so much? What attracts us to them?

Being likable means having qualities that make others feel comfortable and attracted to you. Likable individuals are often friendly, approachable, and empathetic, with a positive attitude and a genuine interest in others. They have good social skills and connect with people on a personal level. Being likable can help to build strong relationships, create positive first impressions, and increase opportunities for success in both personal and professional settings. Ultimately, well-liked people are those who others enjoy being around.

To be likable, you must have good communication skills, including listening actively and responding appropriately to others. Well-liked people also tend to have a sense of humor, which can help ease social tension and make others feel more relaxed. Being likable can also involve being open-minded, non-judgmental, and accepting others’ differences, creating a more inclusive and welcoming social environment. Additionally, likable people tend to be confident in themselves without being arrogant and show genuine interest in others, which helps build trust and rapport with others. Finally, being likable involves being authentic and genuine rather than putting on a facade or trying to be someone you’re not.

Here are six behaviors that make people like you more:

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1. They want nothing in return.

Likable people genuinely ask for nothing. They sit with you, share a cup of coffee, and converse. They make eye contact, smile, and want to be with you. The likable individual places you in the moment. In an interview, author Toni Morrison shared with Oprah many years ago that one of the most critical aspects we possess is the art of being present with anyone. If someone walks into the room, give that person your attention.

Likable people can put whoever is around them first and foremost for attention. They want to help and will offer assistance with wholehearted presence. A likable person wants to help you, but not for their benefit. They want to make sure they can be of service to you because they have endured their share of struggles.

2. They have incredible listening powers.

A likable individual will let you talk and share about your life. When you walk away from them, you immediately think, “Wow, what a great person. I know nothing about them.” They will make you the center of attention and have no problem making you feel lighter with all you share. They can feel like a free therapy session. You will often admit, “I’ve never shared this with anyone before.”

These folks have such a beautiful sense of awesomeness that the person talking doesn’t realize they haven’t even asked about them. But that’s the incredible characteristic of a likable person: they are never selfish. They believe everyone is owed a moment of feeling special. After all, don’t we all want to be heard?

3. They aren’t insecure.

Likable people have no hangups about how others see them. They are happy in their skins. They know that they will meet many people when they are in a group setting. The likable person can transfer that confidence to others when they speak with them. You can’t be jealous of someone providing space for you to feel good about yourself. They compliment others with easiness.

These types of people don’t care how anyone sees them. They only want to make sure you know your greatness. They will do anything to make you feel good about yourself. You can start a conversation with them, complaining, and they will change it and say something like, “Isn’t that an amazing opportunity for you to….”

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4. They are genuine folks.

The likable person has nothing to prove. What you see is what you get with them. They are genuine in all aspects. If they don’t like something, they will let you know. They speak up and share with others, even if the subject doesn’t agree. They can let you know, “I admire your opinion. Let’s agree to disagree.” And they will say this in a non-condescending manner that doesn’t feel intrusive. It’s just a matter of choosing your language and your tone. The likable person knows that words have power, and they will utilize language most commonly without ever feeling attacked.

5. They do not judge or criticize.

These folks like everyone. And, if they don’t understand something, they will accept it as is but never judge or criticize you for what you are doing. The likable person believes everyone is entitled to lessons, opportunities, and opinions. They learn from others. These people know that diversity is the secret to growth. If you want to be liked, start holding back any judgment against another. Likable people have no class barriers or standards. They can sit with the homeless person as easily as a rich one. They know that life has ups and downs and everyone is the same.

6. They touch people.

The likable person has few personal boundaries. They like to touch and hug. It doesn’t matter who you are. They enjoy feeling the person nearby, and not in a creepy way, of course. They make you feel comfortable but not pushing themselves on you. These people know how to read body language. They aren’t shy individuals; whether it is a pat on the shoulders, a handshake, or a hug, the likable person connects with you. A handshake will do if you are trying to be likable and have an issue with touching others. Touching is one of the most expressive arts of communication.

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Final Thoughts on Behaviors That Make People Like You

Likable people are liked because of what they give: full attention, compliments, listening skills, and friendly advice. They are teachers and givers of time. They laugh at themselves and rarely show any negative qualities. Whatever happens in their lives, they move past those things with grace. To be liked, you must be selfless, giving, and willing to put others in front of the conversation. The likable person wants to be present and enjoy.

If you want to become more likable, engaging in self-examination and critically examining your behavior and social skills is essential. It means being honest about your strengths and weaknesses and identifying improvement areas. You should also seek feedback from others by asking directly or observing their reactions to your behavior. Once you clearly understand your strengths and areas for improvement, you can make changes and develop the skills and qualities to make you more likable. However, this process requires self-awareness, introspection, and a willingness to change, which can be challenging but ultimately rewarding.

Here’s How This One Simple Spice Can Heal Brain Damage

Turmeric has been used as a medicinal cure for various health conditions for centuries. Only relatively recently, however, have these uses gained a more scientific consensus. Today, many medical professionals and prestigious health organizations attest to the medicinal potency of turmeric and curcumin for the body, brain, and beyond.

(Side-note: since the words curcumin and turmeric are often used both in conjunction and interchangeably, it is important to describe what exactly comprises them. Turmeric is the spice as a whole, while curcumin is an element of turmeric – this is the only difference. Turmeric consists of a number of active elements, with curcumin among the most notable ingredients in terms of effect.)

Research Reveals How This Simple Spice Can Heal A Brain Damage

Curcumin as an antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and lipophilic action improves the cognitive functions in patients with Alzheimer’s Disease (AD). The Effect of curcumin (turmeric) on Alzheimer’s disease: An overview, Annals of Indian Academy of Neurology

As with many spices and herbs that have proven to be medically helpful, turmeric has been around for a long time. It is quite extraordinary that so many countless natural remedies are just now beginning to gain proper (and overdue) recognition.

It is estimated that turmeric has over 600 known medical uses, and possibly many more. Keep in mind that these medical uses are not purely anecdotal – they are scientifically valid (as seen in the excerpt above, confirming turmeric’s AD benefits.)

This leads us to perhaps the most recent – and maybe the most important – turmeric discovery: the ability to potentially heal brain damage. Many scientists attest to turmeric’s cognitive benefits, including its ability to counteract neurodegenerative disorders, making this uncovering all the more sensible.

In an article published in the journal Stem Cell Research & Therapy, researchers exposed fetal rats to varying amounts of Aromatic (ar-) turmerone – a biologically-active element of turmeric (Curcuma longa). The study was conducted in order to test the hypothesis that ar-turmerone inhibits a response that could prove beneficial to counteracting, and potentially treating, neurodegenerative disease.

After exposing the fetal rates to ar-turmerone, researchers measured and compared the levels of neural stem cells (NSC’s) to pre-exposure levels. It was determined that certain doses of ar-turmerone stimulated the growth of NSCs, both in vitro (in a controlled setting) and in vivo (within the living animal). Thus, researchers concluded that ar-turmerone aids in the proliferation of NSCs, which may help support brain cell regeneration.

The research findings were published in both mainstream and medical news outlets, and with good reason. Degenerative brain diseases are among the most devastating and physically imposing conditions that someone can acquire. Conditions such as Alzheimer’s, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s Disease), and others render millions of people to a life of limited mobility and outright dependency.

This and other research discoveries provide a ray of hope to not only patients, but to their families and loved ones. Moreover, society has been desperately seeking a way to prevent such debilitating illnesses from occurring. As it may turn out, a trip to the local grocer, or a health and nutrition store may just be in the answer.

Of course, as with any medical research, more rigorous testing and overall consensus from medical professionals and scientists is going to be required. While it is clear that turmeric possesses a multitude of health benefits, cognitive and otherwise, medical treatment of any form must pass rigorous litmus tests in order to be widely recommended.

What is clear, however, is that turmeric should be considered as a necessary component of one’s nutritional regimen. There is simply far too much research proving the myriad of benefits from turmeric not to utilize its powerful, and potentially life-saving, medical properties.

So, this naturally leads to the question: what is the best kind of turmeric to use? The most successful brain research has been conducted with holistic turmeric ingredients. In other words, consuming curcumin alone – while it does contain powerful properties – is not the apparent solution, at least in terms of neurodegenerative prevention.

On the other hand, for certain medical conditions (e.g. chronic inflammation or precancerous growths) ingesting a concentrated dose of curcumin is preferential, as this directly acts on the physiological mechanisms that induce the condition.

Simply put, it all comes down to the individual nature of one’s biological makeup and medical condition(s), if any. The overall goal of someone taking turmeric or curcumin should be prevention. At the risk of sounding cliché, it is much simpler to prevent a disease or medical condition than it is to cure it.

Note: this article should be used strictly as an informational/entertainment source. The author is not a licensed medical professional, and recommendations should not be construed as medical advice. Treatments and associated directives should be attained solely from a chosen, licensed medical provider.
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

The Psychology Behind Why Siblings Often Grow Apart

Perhaps you and your siblings had a close relationship in childhood but drifted apart as time passed. When most people enter adulthood, other aspects of life take precedences, such as careers and families. Sadly, a lot of siblings even live in different cities due to modern urbanization, making regular visits more difficult.

 However, deeper psychological reasons exist to explain why siblings often grow apart later in life. One of these explanations involves the relationships between siblings and parents. Even the most well-meaning parents can create a rift between their children depending on how they raise them.

You and your siblings probably had a unique relationship with your parents. Even if your mom or dad tried to remain fair, they still might have treated both of you differently. For instance, the eldest child usually gets more attention than the younger siblings. They usually also have more responsibilities, but this doesn’t make the youngest child feel any less jealous.

 As a result, siblings might lash out at each other or disagree because of unfair parenting habits. Of course, most parents don’t even realize that they treat their children differently. They may not do it on purpose, but it still causes problems between family members.

 Feelings of resentment, jealousy, or envy can pop up when siblings find even minor things to argue about. ‘Dad/Mom always liked you best’ comes up often during sibling rivalries, which can easily spiral out of control. A small argument may turn into a week-long skirmish, for instance, making both siblings even more resentful.

 Below, we will look at rivalry and other psychological dynamics that affect why siblings so often grow apart. We’ll also touch on how you can repair these relationships and enjoy a deep bond that will last a lifetime.personality

The Sibling Relationship From Childhood to Adolescence

 Your closest, most memorable years with your siblings usually happen during childhood. Most people remember being close friends and playmates with their young brothers and sisters. But, they often find that they grow apart during their teenage years. You can even see evidence of this in old photos since your parents probably took most of them during your childhood. Perhaps as a teen, you felt awkward and didn’t want your picture taken as often.

The teenage years are all about discovering your identity, separately from your family. That explains why many brothers  and sisters grow apart during this phase, especially if one is older. They may have an after-school job while going to college and not have as much free time.

During this phase of life, parents also give their children some breathing room and allow them to make independent decisions. As the teens gain more autonomy, they mature into their own personalities and may not feel as close with family.

During your childhood, your parents often watched over you and your siblings to ensure you played fairly. They helped level the playing field and made sure one of you didn’t hoard all the toys, for instance. But as you get older and have more responsibilities, you and your siblings have to overcome struggles without your mom or dad’s help.

Sibling Psychology From Teenagers to Young Adults

Israeli researchers looked at how siblings often grow apart sometime between the turbulent teenage years and young adulthood. They discovered that emerging adults spent less time and had less involvement in activities with their siblings than teenagers. However, they had a deeper emotional bond and felt more warmth toward their siblings. Also, they experienced less intense conflict in young adulthood compared to their teenage years.

This likely occurred because young adults tend to have a more mature perception of their sibling relationships. In adolescence, however, siblings still see each other as extensions of the parents and may identify themselves with them.

A study in the Journal of Marriage and Family looked at sibling relationships between 9000 people aged 16-85. Researchers examined how sibling relationships change over time, quantifying the difference with four types of sibling relationship behavior. The four relationship behaviors include the following: physical proximity, frequency of contact, giving help, and receiving help.  Over a lifetime, the researchers say, ‘All four measures of sibling relationship decline significantly during early adulthood.’

Young Adult Siblings And Later Years

It seems that in their golden years, siblings leave all the petty stuff behind and learn to get along. They realize how much time they spent arguing over silly things, and how they can’t get that time back. With age usually comes humility and a new outlook on life, so that plays a role in the changing sibling dynamics.

They want to live out their days in love and harmony, just getting to know each other again. Life and time have a way of making people distant, but as you age, you understand what really matters.

Researchers also found that physical location between siblings and frequency of contact tends to stabilize in middle age. Furthermore, they discovered that how often you and your siblings connect shows a slight increase after reaching age 70.

As siblings and their other family members age, parents inevitably pass away, leaving the sibling feeling alone. The researchers suggest that siblings act as a type of substitute for parents, spouses, and children. By providing similar social and family support to each other later in life, they receive similar benefits.

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Final Thoughts on Sibling Relationships Throughout Life

Your closest and best relationship often happens with your brother or sister, as studies have shown. The similarity in age along with growing up together make it easy to bond and develop trust. You have likely been through a lot and seen each other at your worst moments.

However, you still have a deep love and care for one another despite the dark times. You also have plenty of beautiful memories and stories to share well into your later years.

Of course, most families deal with disagreements and rivalries at some point. The most turbulent years usually occur in childhood and adolescence, but then taper off into adulthood. As siblings grow more comfortable with their identities, they begin to miss their brother or sister. By reaching out even through text, the bond remains strong and they have a renewed appreciation for each other.

Parallel universes do exist, and scientists have the proof…

Parallel universes are a staple of science fiction television shows, like Fringe, for example. In these universes, most things are the same except for a few relatively minor differences. In our universe, we can only perceive four dimensions, but according to different theories in particle and theoretical physics, there could be more dimensions.

Parallel universes do exist, and scientists have the proof…

The Multiple Worlds Interpretation is a theory which postulates that everything that has happened or could have happened in history has happened in an alternate timeline or dimension. These dimensions sprout from each other like branches on a bush, infinitely. The core of the MWI is that the equations that model the evolution of systems over time function the same whether or not there are embedded observers in the system. So what does that mean? To understand, you first have to know what the Schrodinger’s Cat thought experiment is.

In this experiment, there is a cat in a sealed and opaque box with a radioactive element and a Geiger counter hooked up to some sort of poison. The radioactive element has a 50/50 chance of decaying, and therefore, a 50/50 chance of setting off the Geiger counter, which will release the poison and kill the cat. But, until you open up the box to see if the cat is alive or dead, the cat exists in a quantum super-positional state where it is both alive and dead at the same time.

Every time you make a decision for a microsecond, before you make that decision, you are in a super-positional state where you have made both choices. The MWI timeline splits into different universes where you have made the same choice in different ways. So, these universes theoretically continue to split and multiply with every decision by every person, animal, or particle, for that matter.

Now, String Theory tries to explain all of this by attempting to unify Quantum Mechanics and Gravity. No easy feat considering no one has been able to successfully do it yet. The problem is that our ability to measure gravity breaks down at the atomic and subatomic level. Gravity is one of the four fundamental forces of the universe, but it is also very weak. Weak? Really? Yes, it takes the entire mass of our planet to hold you to the ground. But, what about super massive black holes? Yes, they are very powerful, but require an astronomical amount of mass to achieve that power, and when compared to the other forces of the universe, it is still the weakest. So, what does all of this have to do with multiple universes?

Well, in order for String Theory to function, it needs extra “pocket” dimensions added to ours in order to make the math work – at least ten extra dimensions, in fact. These extra dimensions have to be “compactified” to a point where they are too small to measure. These extra dimensions can also be compactified in different ways. Picture the number 10 with 500 zeroes after it; that’s how many different ways we’re talking about here. Each of these compactifications will result in a separate universe with different physical laws. Unfortunately, string theory is useless in the search for which of these many universes we live in and where the rest of the universes reside.

Back to the beginning of our universe. After the Big Bang, there was a period of inflation where space/time itself was rushing outwards faster than the speed of light. Inflation theory was used to explain the even temperature of the observational universe. But, it also predicted there would be fluctuations in the background temperature, which were confirmed by multiple spacecraft, including the PLANCK and Cosmic Background Explorer. What this means is that our universe is eternally inflating, and some pieces of this universe may “break off” into other universes ad infinitum. When you combine this with string theory, you get an infinite number of universes with an infinite number of physical laws.

The universes predicted by String Theory and Inflation would occupy the same physical space, uno,like Quantum Mechanics, which currently is purely math driven. If they occupy the same physical space, then they may overlap or collide from time to time, and if they do, then we should be able to find a way to detect that collision or overlap. These collisions would leave evidence in the night sky that we could search for. Depending on the model used, they could be hot or cold spots in the cosmic background or voids in the distribution of galaxies within the universe.

Related article: Nothing Is Solid & Everything Is Energy, According To New Research

While scientists are searching for these clues, others are looking for more indirect indications. Gravity waves were predicted by Einstein, and until recently, undiscovered. The LIGO (Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory) recently detected gravity waves from a pair of colliding black holes 1.3 billion light years away. This strengthens the case for inflation, and by extension, the idea of multiple universes.

11 Quotes to Remember When Everything Is Going Wrong

Sometimes, it seems that everything goes wrong, despite our best efforts to make things right.We can do everything in our power to make something work, but life might have different plans. Many of us feel as though we have no control over our lives, and while that might hold some truth to some extent, we do have the power to control how we react to situations. The next time you feel frustrated or at the end of your rope over something in life, just remember the following quotes to keep things in perspective.

11 Quotes to Remember When Everything Is Going Wrong

1. Sometimes you just need to talk to a four year old and an 84 year old to understand life again. – Kristen Butler

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Sometimes, we forget important lessons throughout life that can help us through tough situations. When we can get a different perspective, it can make all the difference in how we react to a situation. Next time you find that everything is going wrong, talk to a child and an older adult to see what they think about it. Chances are, you’ll get your answer, plus a whole new outlook on life.

 

2. If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.

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When everything goes wrong, we often forget about everything we have to be grateful for. Remember that even when your life seems like a nightmare, you have the chance at making everything right again, because you are alive and breathing.

3. Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come.

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Remember that you are not a tree; you can move. When everything goes wrong, maybe the best choice is just to move on, set your sights on new horizons, and write a new chapter in your story.

4. When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. When life is bitter, say thank you and grow.

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We live in a world of duality; we must have darkness to show us the light, and vice versa. Don’t expect life to always hand you lemons, but when it does, say your thanks and use them as you will.

5. Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.

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See the beauty in the bad times and know that something better lies ahead. Use the bad experiences as a tool to help you grow, learn and gain a new perspective.

 

6. Look for something positive in every day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.

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Not every day will go exactly as you planned and have rainbows and butterflies; some days will challenge you, but let those experiences change you for the better.

7. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.

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Everything might go wrong, but look at the things you still have that mean the world to you. If you have a pulse, a family who loves you, friends that adore you, food to eat and roof over your head, you have more than most.

8. You’re always one decision away from a totally different life.

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If you don’t like your life, remember; you can change it. You have the power and control to make this life everything you ever dreamed of, so don’t let reality discourage you. And you can transcend reality based on your thoughts, perceptions, and attitude.

9. No matter how you feel – get up, dress up, show up and never give up.

 

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Never allow life to beat you down for too long; you can only move forward and make positive change if you keep a good mindset and allow the tough times to make you stronger.

10. The older I get, the more I realize no one has any idea what they are doing and everyone is just pretending.

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The next time you take life too seriously, remember that we all are winging it here. No one knows more than anyone else on the right way to live, so if things go wrong, remember that everyone is in the same boat. You are not alone here.

11. Overthinking will destroy your mood. Breathe and let go.

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Sometimes, we even create problems in our own heads that don’t really exist in reality. Stay mindful of your thoughts, and don’t let them control you.

Ask yourself, “Is everything really going wrong, or do I just think that based on my perception?”

Related article: 11 Quotes To Remember When You Have Problems

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