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13 Signs You’ve Found a Good Man

February 2, 2023 by Chris Butler

Isn’t it ironic how some women end up with great men while others struggle to cope with someone who isn’t giving them what they want? The issue is that many ladies don’t know the joys of being in a good relationship. There are always positive signs when you’re with the right man. Conversely, there are also many red flags when you’re with the wrong partner.

Sometimes you must go through all the toxic guys and great pretenders to find that true gem. A positive relationship displays things like commitment, patience, and unconditional love. Feeling safe and secure when you’re with him is a sign that he’s a keeper.

NOTE: The signs of a good woman are unique; therefore, we address them in another article.

Thirteen Indications He’s a Good Man

Finding the right life partner is essential for many people, giving them a sense of completion. A positive connection with a man can bring so much peace and contentment. A guy with your best intentions is trustworthy, and you won’t ever have to question who he’s with or where he’s at when he doesn’t call.

Additionally, his words and actions all show his love and devotion. If you’re wondering what characteristics prove you’ve found a good guy, here are a few to consider.

1. A Good Man Opens Up to You

It’s challenging for some guys to open up about their thoughts and feelings, as vulnerability is not a strong suit. Thankfully, a partner who will talk to you about his bad days and the things bothering him shows that he trusts you.

He knows that to be a cohesive team, he must be open and honest with you, and he’s okay with sharing the most intimate details of his heart. Displaying those vulnerable sides is a harrowing experience, but he’s learned that getting his feelings out in the open can be positive.

2. He Does the ‘Little Things’

You don’t need grand gestures on your birthday or a holiday because he does small daily things that show his feelings. One thing you will notice about good men is that they will appreciate all the little moments and make every day special. He opens the door for you because he believes in chivalry and puts little love notes around the home to make you smile.

3. A Good Man Makes You Feel Secure

Having security with your partner is something that’s highly coveted among women. Guys that are good and have genuine intentions will protect you. Having a sense of feeling safe means that you can face whatever life throws at you with certainty.

Insecurities with your partner make you feel suspicious and unsettled. However, knowing that you have someone who will fight for you and defend you no matter the situation brings a sense of protection.

4. He Makes You Want to be A Better Person

One thing you will notice when you have a good partner is that you want to be a better person. He inspires you to greatness, and you’re learning and growing together.

He motivates you to change the things about you that you don’t like, and he sets an excellent example of how to do it. You don’t try to change one another, but these changes happen naturally as he positively influences you.

5. A Good Man Makes You Feel Beautiful

Every woman longs to hear her partner tell her how beautiful she is to them. Although a good guy will tell you how gorgeous you look, he doesn’t just stop with positive comments. How he interacts with you daily also shows that he thinks you’re stunning, as he treats you like a princess should be treated.

6. You’re a Top Priority of Your Partner

Everyone has a list of priorities in life, and you’re among the top with this him. Good men know that having a happy and healthy relationship takes work, so they are willing to devote their time and energy to make it happen.

He also understands that he can’t be everything to you, so he knows your friends, family, and job are also important. He’s willing to devote time and effort to make things work, but he knows you also have essential needs outside him.

7. He Respects Your Boundaries

Being in a positive relationship shows because there’s mutual respect for boundaries. Sure, there will be arguments and disagreements, as that’s a natural part of life, but he never crosses the line in these moments. He would never attack or disrespect you because he values you more than the situation.

A good man knows that boundaries and limitations are essential, so he plays within the lines. An article published by the University of Illinois Chicago states that having boundaries is a form of self-care. Additionally, these limitations can be physical or emotional, but they’re in place to help protect you. In a relationship, it’s essential to communicate and respect these boundaries.

8. His Actions and Words Match

Some guys talk big and like to make themselves sound much better than they are. However, he knows his actions must match his words, or he’s blowing hot air. He wants to prove himself to you, so he makes a conscious effort every day to ensure that you know he’s genuine.

9. There’s No Physical, Mental, or Emotional Abuse

Many women have a toxic man and don’t even recognize it because he doesn’t hit them. Abuse comes in many forms, and emotional abuse can be as damaging as being punched. According to an article published by the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, emotional abuse is classified as the invalidation of reality, feelings, and experiences.

You’ve found a gem when your man wouldn’t lay a hand on you in anger and doesn’t use harsh words or call names in an argument. A good guy knows how to walk away and never take his wrath out on you, as he shows respect.

10. He’s a Partner Who Stands Beside You Through Thick and Thin

Having a partner who sticks beside you regardless of what life throws your way is a sign they’re genuine. He’s there whether you’re celebrating a promotion at work or crying because you lost your job. He tends to find something positive to say or do to help you when things are so bad. He would never leave or abandon you when you need him the most.

11. A Good Man Doesn’t Lie

A study conducted by UW-La Crosse found that 75 % of participants lied 1-2 times each day. The problem is that most people don’t realize they’re being dishonest, as it just comes naturally. For instance, how often have you told your kids you didn’t have the money because you didn’t want to spend it? It’s a harmless mistruth, but it’s still a lie.

When you find a man who strives to be honest with you, it’s a rare find. The study also found that 1 % of the participants told 17 or more lies each day, so when you find someone who can be truthful, you should count yourself blessed.

12. He’s Constantly Working to Improve Himself

Even the best man knows that he’s not without flaws. When you find a good one, he’s a work in progress and knows it. He won’t settle for a mediocre life, as he aspires and dreams of greater things.

He has real potential because he’s actively engaged in self-improvement and growth. He’s always looking for ways to be and do greater things, bringing you along for the ride.

13. You Have No Doubts About This Wonderful Partner

Some say that knowing you’ve met the right person depends on your feelings. When the relationship is wrong, there’s chaos and turmoil on the outside and within. Finding that guy that takes away all your doubts and gives you a sense of peace is not something easily found.

Being with him feels as wonderful as sitting on a front porch drinking lemonade on a breezy spring day, as your soul feels at peace. Your gut instincts are always the most significant indication of whether you’ve found a good man, and nothing feels off or unbalanced.

Final Thoughts on Finding a Good Man

In this life, you will encounter many men with unique personality traits. Every woman has things they look for or requirements for finding the perfect partner. However, everyone can agree that there’s something that separates a good man from a toxic one in a relationship.

Some ladies might say that good men have become endangered as they’re becoming more challenging to find. You’ll know when you have found your perfect partner because they will display many of the signs listed above.

11 Behaviors of a Man That You Never Want to Let Go

February 2, 2023 by Sarah Barkley

Finding a man who exhibits beneficial behavior is one you shouldn’t let go of. Meeting a good man doesn’t happen every day, and you don’t want to miss out on keeping one around.

While having a man who looks great is nice, most women realize it isn’t everything. They also need a man who treats people well and has other traits that set them apart.

While your standards might vary from other people’s, some behaviors stand out more than others. You likely relate to some of these standards already. These behaviors can give you an idea of the standards you want to implement for future partners.

There are also behaviors of a woman you never want to let go of–she is a real treasure! See if you relate to any of the ones discussed in a separate article.

Why You Should Have Dating Standards

There are more women than men in most states in the United States, so there’s already an uneven number of people in the dating pool. Having standards and looking for specific behaviors in your man helps ensure you find a good one. Most people encounter a toxic relationship before finding a good one, so you can build your standards from your experiences.

Having standards involves having specific characteristics you look for in a partner. It helps you choose partners who fit with what you’re looking for. You’ll know when you shouldn’t continue dating someone because you won’t compromise on some of their behaviors.

Finding a man who lives up to your standards allows you to have a healthy and supportive relationship. It’ll promote happiness and improve well-being as you’ll have a partner who aligns with your wants and needs in a relationship.

The behaviors of a man you won’t want to let go of won’t involve how he looks. It also won’t include his career, social connections, or financial status. Instead, it’ll focus on his beliefs, values, and actions.

Without standards, you mind end up in a relationship with someone who exhibits the following behaviors:

emotional unavailability
avoidant personality
lack of communication
withdrawing or stonewalling

These behaviors aren’t the only ones involved in unhealthy relationships but are some of the most common issues. With standards, you won’t have to let a romance get that far before you realize it isn’t what you want.

Eleven Behaviors of a Man That You Never Want to Let Go

While physical attraction and chemistry are great, there are also some behaviors you should watch for in a man. When you find someone who portrays these traits, you never want to let go.

1 – Trustworthy and Honest

Finding a trustworthy man is ideal because it involves many other positive traits. Honesty shows moral integrity, consistency, reliability, dependability, a willingness to compromise, and respect.

You’d be able to trust what he says, knowing that he wouldn’t say something if it weren’t accurate. It also means that you can trust him to do the right thing when you’re not in his presence. You won’t have to wonder when you have a trustworthy and honest man in your life.

2 – Courteous

A courteous man is a gem because he does kind things and observes chivalry. He’ll open doors for you or help you get out of the car. This man will also hold your hand while walking and help you carry things.

While you don’t need help, it’s nice to have it. A courteous man will make you feel special and show that he cares about giving you the best treatment. This behavior is better than receiving presents because it reflects his intentions.

You also might notice that a courteous man introduces you to people in a way that makes you feel important. He goes out of his way to reaffirm what you mean to him.

3 – Communicates and Listens

Lack of communication can interfere with the health of your relationship. It often involves pouting, refusing to speak, or other passive-aggressive behaviors. These behaviors can even indicate an avoidant attachment style or narcissism.

Having a man who communicates and listens is something you shouldn’t let go of. Some signs that your partner does this include:

making eye contact
not interrupting
providing validation
choosing the right words before responding
being attentive

When he listens and communicates, you’ll feel valued. It shows that he considers your thoughts and feelings and wants what’s best for your relationship.

4 – He Cheers for You

A man who cheers for his partner is one of the best. He’ll celebrate your wins and be proud of you when you achieve a goal. Don’t let go of a man who encourages you to chase your passions and career and shows support through your journey.

You might notice that he brags about you to others and gets excited about your accomplishments. He won’t get in your way or insist on interfering as you pursue your dreams, but he’ll be ready to help if you ask.

He cheers for you because he sees qualities in you that others don’t always cherish. It shows that he respects and is proud of who you are and what you can do.

5 – Patience

You don’t want to let go of a man who remains patient when you disagree, argue, or experience misunderstandings. He won’t test your limits to see what it’ll take to make you bad because he knows it won’t resolve the issue.

His patience also shows when he gives you space if you need it. He’ll be there waiting for you to need or want him to discuss the situation or move forward.

6 – Willing to Put in the Effort

Relationships take hard work, and having a partner who understands it takes work is helpful. He’ll recognize that hard times don’t mean the end of a relationship. Plus, he’s willing to do what it takes to overcome issues and work things out.

7 – Protective

While being overprotective can be toxic, a little protectiveness is a good sign. He’ll want to make you feel physically and emotionally safe, taking the time to understand you. These men strive to make you feel your best and shield you from harm.

8 – He Wants You to Chase Your Dreams

Some men can’t accept having a partner who does better than them or has goals that don’t involve them. You don’t want to let go when you find a man who encourages you and wants you to chase your dreams. He’ll support your goals and doesn’t need to be involved in each step of your journey.

A man that wants you to chase your dreams shows that he values your individuality and respects who you are. You can pursue whatever you want, and he’ll never try to convince you to do otherwise. You might have found a keeper when you find someone who compliments your lifestyle and encourages you to chase your dreams.

9 – Respectful

Disrespect from your partner is a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship that often worsens over time. Finding a man who shows respect is one of the best traits you could ask for. You can count on him to treat you the way you deserve.

Some of the ways a man shows respect include:

valuing differing opinions
encouraging you to maintain your individualism
treating everyone well, even strangers
not calling names

10 – Emotional Intelligence and Stability

Maintaining a healthy relationship is easiest when you find a man with stable emotions and emotional intelligence. When he can self-regulate and think things through when issues arise, you’ll experience more happiness together.

A man seeking professional help for mental illness or mood disorders shows emotional intelligence because they recognize when they need help. You can’t fix your partner or be the one handling constant emotional outbursts. Finding someone who knows when they must help themselves can be a good sign for what’s to come.

You deserve a loving and happy relationship, and it’s only possible with someone who exhibits emotional intelligence and stability. When you find a man with these traits, consider keeping him around.

Some signs of emotional intelligence and stability include the following:

controlling his anger
self-regulating negative emotions
understanding how you feel
acknowledging when his behaviors affect you
being kind and supportive
honesty
being mindful of his words
taking time for self-reflection
apologizing when necessary
being comfortable talking about his life and past
doesn’t avoid conversations or seem closed off

11 – Exhibits a Secure-attachment Style

John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory explains that a secure-attachment style involves traits you should strive for from a partner. Someone with this attachment style will exhibit the following behaviors:

being well-grounded
self-confidence
emotionally balanced
honest, trusting, and trustworthy
comfortable with vulnerability
calm
openly states his intentions
prioritizes the person he wants

Those with other attachment styles might exhibit anxious and avoidant behaviors. Rather than spend your time with someone like that, hold onto a man with a secure attachment style.

Final Thoughts on Behaviors of a Man That You Never Want to Let Go

Don’t let go of a man who exhibits these behaviors. It shows that he’s willing to do what it takes to make a relationship work and embraces what makes you unique.

You can’t force a man to be who you want, so look for these qualities early on. Finding someone who fits your standards gives you a better chance of finding love and having a healthy relationship.

10 Reasons Men Leave a Relationship (Even When They’re in Love)

February 1, 2023 by Sarah Barkley

Many people wonder what makes a man end a relationship. It happens even when they’re in love, and the reasons vary based on each situation. When one partner leaves, it can leave you feeling empty and alone. It can also lead to confusion if you don’t understand why it happened.

You might think that if a man loves his partner, he won’t ever leave. However, even a strong relationship has issues and can lead to separation.

Men aren’t the only ones who leave a relationship when they’re in love. Women do it, too, although their reasons might differ. Women leaving is discussed in a separate article that you can read after this one.

Why Men Leave a Relationship

There are many reasons a man might leave a relationship when he’s in love. These reasons include the following:

1 – He’s Experiencing Emotional Pain

When a man gets hurt by his partner, he might leave the romance even if he’s still in love. Infidelity is a common reason because it causes intense emotional pain. The man will be heartbroken and lose trust because of the betrayal.

A lack of respect is another reason a man experiences emotional pain in a relationship. Keeping secrets, stonewalling, and disrespecting boundaries are all signs of disrespect. Other signs include:

using insecurities against him
not valuing his time
interrupting him when he speaks

2 – Relationship Toxicity

A man can be in love and still experience overwhelming toxicity. Being in a toxic relationship is detrimental in many ways, and sometimes it’s best to walk away. It can bring out the worst qualities in both partners and lead to emotional pain.

Some signs include:

lack of support
constant conflict
unhealthy jealousy
frequent arguing without resolving the issues
making comments that make your partner feel worthless
being controlling
dishonesty or disloyalty
not discussing financial decisions

3 – He Feels Used

Men want to take care of their loved ones but won’t enjoy it if they feel used. While he wants to provide and protect, he also wants to know that you appreciate his efforts.

When a man feels used by a relationship partner, he might want to leave even if he’s in love. He doesn’t want to feel unappreciated, and it can make him feel like you only want him for the money and lifestyle he provides.

Feeling appreciated through gratitude makes him engage in the romance more, striving for happiness, commitment, and long-term investment. Expressing your gratitude can make him want to improve and develop his skills.

4 – Emotional Exhaustion

Men won’t leave after occasional disruptions in their relationships. However, experts explain that people consider leaving their partner for around two years before doing it. When a man has experienced long-term emotional exhaustion because of your romance, they might leave.

Emotional exhaustion occurs after experiencing too much drama. They can also feel this when they think they’re responsible for their partner’s happiness. Additionally, constantly seeming unhappy with the relationship can cause emotional exhaustion.

5 – Feeling Like He’s Not Good Enough

When you constantly tell a man what he can do better, he’ll feel like he’s not good enough. It’ll seem like you’re always trying to fix him rather than embracing who he is. Feeling like he’s not good enough can disrupt his self-esteem and make him feel like leaving the relationship.

Constantly making him feel bad isn’t a sign of a healthy relationship. He wants to feel good, and the longer the negativity continues, the more he’ll want to leave. It can make the romance fall apart because most days will be detrimental.

A man wants to know that his partner wants to be with him. He wants you to choose him daily rather than working on fixing him. When he thinks you constantly want to fix him, it’ll make him feel like he’s not your first choice and that the relationship won’t improve.

6 – They Aren’t Satisfied Sexually

When a man isn’t sexually satisfied for an extended time, he might walk away. He desires a sexually charged connection, even if it doesn’t occur constantly.

Studies show that sexual activity increases the hormone oxytocin, encouraging bonding between you. Oxytocin also elevates their mood and reduces stress. Men crave this feeling, and it can deepen their relationship.

Without the good feelings associated with sexual activity, men might feel something is missing in the relationship. After a while of this feeling, they are more likely to walk away. They won’t feel connected to you anymore, creating feelings of negativity.

You don’t have to engage in sexual activity daily, but finding a balance is beneficial. Both partners should feel like their needs are met, including sexual ones.

7 – Lacking Intellectual Stimulation and Emotional Intimacy

Men like a challenge, and that includes intellectual stimulation. He wants someone to share their opinions and continue learning while discussing new topics. When there isn’t an intellectual bond, a man might lose interest.

Additionally, a lack of emotional intimacy can interfere with a relationship. A man doesn’t always want to talk about intellectually. He also wants to experience emotional stimulation and intimacy.

You both will experience feelings of security, love, and trust if you have emotional intimacy. Without it, the relationship suffers, and the man may seek it elsewhere.

8 – He’s Afraid of Losing Himself

Sometimes men walk away from a strong relationship if they feel like losing themselves. They might notice that they spend less time with friends and loved ones than before or engage in their hobbies less.

When a man falls in love, it sometimes makes him run away from the relationship to prevent losing touch with who they are. He might want to return to the world as a single man to remember who he was before.

Additionally, if a man feels like he can’t be himself with his partner, he’ll want to walk away from the relationship. Constant judgment and nagging make it hard for him to be himself. He’ll feel like there’s nothing he can do to improve it unless he leaves.

9 – Not Enough Quality Time

Spending quality time with your partner is essential for making things work. Quality time results in less stress in the relationship and increased happiness.

When couples stop spending time together, they’ll grow apart and increase the risk of one partner walking away. Additionally, quality time can improve sexual chemistry. Without it, your relationship may suffer enough to cause your partner to leave.

10 – Too Much Responsibility

While most men don’t mind responsibility and taking care of their loved ones, there comes a time when it’s too much. Sometimes they’ll feel pressured into doing things they didn’t want for their life, including the following:

moving to a new city or buying an expensive home
taking on more debt than they are comfortable with
paying for most or all the relationship finances
having or not having children

Differing visions of the future can make a man feel overwhelmed. The excess responsibility can weigh on him, making him feel like he must give up his dreams. It can lead to resentment, and eventually, the man may leave.

How to Fix Your Relationship

You can do things to improve your romance if you worry about it ending. These things can even help those that don’t worry, ensuring they maintain a strong relationship with their partner.

Admit Your Faults

Taking responsibility for your mistakes shows your partner that you understand what you did wrong. It also shows respect for them by admitting you messed up.

Listen

When your partner talks, actively listen to them. Active listening means focusing on what the other person says and avoiding forming a response in your head. It can help you decrease tension, resentment, or distance between you.

Express Gratitude

Letting your partner know you’re grateful for them can make all the difference. They want to hear when they’re doing helpful things or making you happy.

Learn to Compromise

All relationships require compromise to some extent. Accommodate your partner’s needs and desires in ways that don’t interfere with yours. It can help you work things out and build a strong relationship.

Be Physically Affectionate With One Another

Physical affection releases oxytocin, improving your mood and reducing stress. Spend time hugging or cuddling each other to build a deeper connection. It can help you get through the hard times and improve the good moments.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Men Leave a Relationship

Many things can lead to a man leaving a relationship when he’s in love with his partner. Things don’t always work out, especially when one of you is unhappy.

Learning about why a man might leave can help you address issues within your relationship. It can help you improve areas of contention and ensure both of you are happy. You can’t force someone to stay, but you can try to repair the damage and encourage another chance.

Positive changes can save your relationship and prevent your partner from leaving. However, if they leave, don’t lose hope. You can find love and happiness again, especially if you know what went wrong.

8 Things You’ll Only Understand if You’re a Capricorn

February 1, 2023 by Kristen Lawrence

People born under the astrological sign Capricorn have much to offer the world. Many people overlook them because they don’t like to draw attention to themselves, but they deserve more praise than they get. As a Capricorn, you’re probably used to people calling you boring, rigid, or a workaholic.

However, those people only see your professional side; they don’t know the loving, nurturing soul hiding beneath the surface. Only those closest to them can understand their true nature because they only let their guard down around trusted friends and family. Most of the time, they prefer to keep to themselves and work best alone.

They’re represented by the goat, which describes them perfectly — confident, hardy, and loners at heart. Goats are also hard-headed and stubborn, traits that you might recognize among your Capricorn friends. Finally, the goat takes his time climbing a mountain, but he does it with pride and tenacity. No other sign matches the work ethic and perseverance of the determined Capricorn.

If you’d like to know more about this underrated yet lovable sign, read on to discover its unique traits. You may recognize some traits about yourself if you have a Capricorn birthday.

8 Traits of a Capricorn That Only They Will Understand

1. Capricorn will only stop working when they’re finished.

It doesn’t matter how tired they feel or how much time they’ve devoted to a project. If even one tiny task remains, they will keep working until they’ve completed the job. Some people work halfheartedly and absentmindedly, but not the thorough Capricorn. This zodiac sign gives it its all and doesn’t cut corners with any project. They make excellent leaders and managers because of their attention to detail.

2. Capricorn does not open up easily.

If you know anyone with this horoscope, you can attest to how guarded and closed off they seem. They don’t like to feel vulnerable or reveal too much if they don’t know someone well. The careful Capricorn prefers to keep a few close friends and family they can implicitly trust. Other than that, they have colleagues and acquaintances to discuss business or work-related matters, but they never disclose anything about their personal lives. Even with loved ones, they may keep some emotions to themselves, staying true to their stoic nature.

3. They have a nurturing, supportive quality.

While Capricorns may seem tough and unfeeling on the surface, they have so much love to offer. They care deeply about their loved ones and will go to extremes to support them. For instance, if a family member is sick, they will buy them medicine and a warm meal, even if they don’t get off work until midnight. They always put their needs last and attend to everyone around them first. Because of their selfless nature, people count on them during times of crisis.

4. Capricorns have a strong work ethic.

Like the other Earth signs, Capricorns spend most of their time at work. They derive great pleasure and meaning from their jobs, so they devote countless hours to perfecting their craft. They care immensely for their families, of course, but they also take pride in being the breadwinner.

Capricorns believe in working hard to support their families so they can provide them with the finer things in life. Therefore, they don’t consider it a sacrifice to spend most of their time working. They view it as necessary so their families have what they need to feel comfortable.

5. They’re practical and logical.

Capricorn views life analytically and can’t easily relate to emotional, imaginative people. They love to debate complex topics with clear answers but strongly dislike abstract ideas that aren’t easy to define. Their lives are run by logic and reason, making them one of the most dependable signs. The goat only decides after weighing all its options first. People value their pragmatism in a world that often seems chaotic and uncertain.

6. Capricorn needs to feel valuable and effective.

Some people think Capricorns have big egos because they take so much pride in their careers. However, the goat doesn’t like to brag about their success or work only for selfish motives. They enjoy jobs that enhance society somehow because they view their work as a small piece of a grand puzzle. People might mistake their workaholism as a means to feel more powerful, but Capricorns only work their hardest for others’ benefit.

7. They’re conservative and traditional.

Some might call the Capricorn boring, but they see it as stable and loyal. The goat craves a long-term, committed relationship with someone who shares their values. They have high standards for their partner and would only give their heart to someone as devoted as them. Capricorns detest flakiness and dishonesty, so they don’t allow anyone who exhibits these behaviors in their life. Lying and hypocrisy are ways to get on a Capricorn’s bad side.

8. They don’t cave under pressure.

The Capricorn thrives during times of intense stress or turmoil. Their logical approach to life gives them mental clarity and intellectual prowess when a disaster strikes. People look up to them because they don’t back down from a challenge and consider everyone when making decisions. They don’t allow emotions to cloud their reason, which gives them an advantage when dealing with complex problems.

Final Thoughts on Common Traits of a Capricorn

Sadly, Capricorns often don’t receive the attention they deserve for some reason. Perhaps people see them as too structured or controlled, but these traits are some of their greatest strengths. Other signs may not appreciate their pragmatic, predictable personalities, but everything would devolve into chaos without some stability. That’s where Earth signs like Capricorn genuinely shine because they help us make sense of the world through logic and reason.

Earth signs provide a foundation to build upon and a steady hand to keep us focused on necessary tasks. They remind us of the importance of dedication and hard work because other people benefit from the fruits of their labor. So, if you’re a Capricorn, know that you’re appreciated and loved more than you can imagine!

Science Explains How a Traumatic Childhood Causes Premature Aging

February 1, 2023 by Kristen Lawrence

A traumatic childhood negatively impacts the mind, body, and soul, sometimes in irreversible ways. Scientists have shown that repeated adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can cause profound changes in brain chemistry. They’ve also discovered that abusing or neglecting children also affects physical health. That’s because too many negative occurrences lead to a rise in cortisol levels. When this becomes a chronic condition, it creates imbalances and diseases in the mind and body.

Children’s brains resemble sponges, absorbing everything they see and hear in their environment. So, if they witness frequent negative events, it can cause long-term damage to their psychological health. Children need a relaxed, safe atmosphere to develop into strong, capable adults. They may suffer well into adulthood when they don’t receive adequate support and love.

In fact, scientists have found that children who experience trauma and violence often exhibit signs of premature aging. They age more rapidly than children who grow up in healthy environments, according to research from the American Psychological Association (APA). Their study analyzed three different biological aging markers: cellular aging, structural changes in the brain, and early puberty. After studying the data, they determined a link between all three signs and a traumatic childhood.

“Exposure to adversity in childhood is a powerful predictor of health outcomes later in life — not only mental health outcomes like depression and anxiety, but also physical health outcomes like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and cancer,” said Katie McLaughlin, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at Harvard University and senior author of the study, in a press release. “Our study suggests that experiencing violence can make the body age more quickly at a biological level, which may help to explain that connection.”

The findings appeared in the journal Psychological Bulletin on August 3, 2020.

Study Shows How a Traumatic Childhood Can Accelerate Aging

Prior research didn’t find a clear connection between a traumatic childhood and premature aging. But, those studies lumped various adverse experiences, such as abuse, poverty, and neglect, into one category. Researchers also measured biological aging differently than in the latest study.

So, to achieve more accurate results, McLaughlin and her colleagues separated the types of adversity into two categories. They looked at threat-related adversity, such as violence and abusive situations, and deprivation-related trauma, like poverty and physical or emotional abandonment.

Next, the research team completed a meta-analysis of nearly 80 studies, which included over 116,000 participants. They discovered shocking results — a traumatic childhood mainly involving threat-related adversity like abuse or violence led to early puberty and premature aging. Children showed apparent signs of rapid aging at a biological level. Many had shortened telomeres — the small structures at the ends of our chromosomes that protect DNA.

As we age, our telomeres naturally get shorter due to cell division. Lifestyle factors such as smoking, lack of exercise, and a poor diet can cause telomeres to wear down more rapidly. Chronic stress from a traumatic childhood or demanding career can also cause accelerated aging. Interestingly, however, children in the study who only experienced deprivation-related trauma like poverty or neglect didn’t exhibit signs of premature aging.

The team performed a second analysis of 25 studies involving over 3,253 participants that investigated how a traumatic childhood impacts brain development. They discovered that childhood adversity reduced cortical thickness, a clear marker of premature aging. But, again, different types of trauma led to cortical thinning in various brain regions.

The researchers found that trauma and violence caused decreases in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, an area associated with social and emotional processing. Deprivation-related trauma more frequently led to thinning of the frontoparietal, default mode, and visual networks. All of these brain regions are involved in cognitive and sensory processing.

Early Treatment for Childhood Trauma Is Key

Research shows that a traumatic childhood can cause lasting changes in brain chemistry and biological processes. But, according to McLaughlin, accelerated aging may have been advantageous to the survival of our species. Before modern times, we had to contend with numerous life-threatening situations, such as attacks from wild animals or competing tribes.

Living in such a violent world meant puberty occurred earlier so we could prioritize reproduction before an early death. Our brains developed faster to help us process and respond to immediate environmental threats, increasing our chances of survival. However, these evolutionary adaptations can cause severe physical and mental health problems in today’s world.

The latest study highlights the importance of early treatment for a traumatic childhood to prevent long-term health problems. All the research in the meta-analysis included accelerated aging in children and adolescents under age 18.

“The fact that we see such consistent evidence for faster aging at such a young age suggests that the biological mechanisms that contribute to health disparities are set in motion very early in life. This means that efforts to prevent these health disparities must also begin during childhood,” McLaughlin said.

She added that many evidence-based treatments exist that can help reverse or slow down the effects of childhood trauma.

“A critical next step is determining whether these psychosocial interventions might also be able to slow down this pattern of accelerated biological aging. If this is possible, we may be able to prevent many of the long-term health consequences of early-life adversity,” McLaughlin says.

It’s more effective to begin individual and group therapy in childhood. However, adults can still greatly benefit from psychological treatment, medications, and lifestyle changes to process and overcome a traumatic childhood. The first step involves forgiving your parents or guardians for what happened and practicing self-care and compassion. Having an honest conversation with your parents can also help you process painful emotions and perhaps mend the relationship.

Final Thoughts on the Research That Shows How a Traumatic Childhood Causes Early Aging

Discussions about childhood trauma have become more common, especially among younger generations. As the stigma surrounding trauma and mental illness diminishes, people feel more comfortable talking about their experiences. Research shows that talk therapy can help immensely with overcoming a traumatic childhood. However, a new study shows that early interventions for adverse childhood experiences have the greatest success.

If your child exhibits mental illness or trauma symptoms, please consider taking them to a psychologist or therapist. It will improve their mental health and could even give them a longer life.

15 Ways to Stop Wasting Water Immediately

February 1, 2023 by Sarah Barkley

Water-saving products to help you reduce water waste.

Many people don’t think twice before leaving their water running or using it unnecessarily. However, considering the environmental impact and the cost of wasting water, you might want to make some changes.

Those who grew up in a dry climate may have a different view than those from water-rich areas. For those in wet areas, it’s easy to assume you can use as much as you want, and it’ll keep flowing. However, others know that isn’t the case.

Finding ways to use less can make a difference, whether you realize it or not. Understanding why conservation is necessary can motivate you to make beneficial changes.

Why Reducing Water Usage is Necessary

Data shows that global water consumption has increased by at least 495% over the past century. This increase relates to industrialization and population growth, but our habits at home haven’t helped either. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) in the United States claims that the average household uses more than 300 gallons daily.

While those in water-rich areas might not understand that demand outpaces supply in some locations, there are still many reasons to make changes. Public resources that many people use in their homes require chemicals and energy for transportation. Energy and chemicals are resources, too, so they involve more than you might initially realize.

Reducing your water usage can make a difference in your community. When others in your area stop wasting, too, it can decrease your area’s demand. With climate change and population growth threatening the supply, it’s essential to practice conservation and limit local demand.

Sometimes you can’t control waste when it happens before reaching you. Leaky or outdated pipes can mean some get wasted before entering your home. Since you can’t change the infrastructure, you must focus on how you can waste less once it gets into your home.

How to Stop Wasting Water

You and your family can consider ways to cut back together, and it’ll likely be easier than you expected. As you read through these ideas, think about some of your bad habits that you can change for the better.

1 – Shorten Your Showers

Baths often use at least 35 gallons, so those aren’t ideal when you want to stop wasting. Showering can take between two and five gallons each minute, depending on the efficiency of your showerhead. You can easily take a five-minute shower that uses less, helping you stop wasting.

Consider setting a timer to know when to get out if you want to shorten your showers. You can also listen to a five-minute song or one close to it to know when your time is up.

2 – Collect Water

Collecting water to reuse later can drastically cut down on your use. You can use containers to catch rain and use it for indoor and outdoor plants. It is the perfect way to do your part in decreasing waste.

As you wait for your shower to heat up, put a bucket or two beneath the stream to catch the water. It would otherwise go down the drain, but you can use it for other things. You can use it for plants, cleaning, or anything else.

3 – Don’t Water Your Lawn as Often

Running a sprinkler for your lawn uses tons of resources. Many people waste more on their lawns than they do any other way.

While you might want a green lawn, you don’t have to use fresh resources to make it happen. Not only does it waste, but it also leaves a carbon footprint and disrupts wildlife.

One way to tell if your lawn needs watering is by stepping on it and seeing if it springs back right away. If it doesn’t, it’s safe to say it’s dry, and you can run your sprinkler. However, you can skip the sprinkler for a few days if it pops back up.

You can also consider replacing grassy areas with other options. If you don’t mind eliminating grass, this could be a good option that allows you to keep your lawn looking good in other ways.

4 – Fill a Sink with Water for Washing Dishes

It might seem easier to leave the tap running when doing dishes. However, it wastes water when you could fill the sink instead. Filling the sink allows you to scrub all the dishes without wasting as you go.

It’s easier to fill if you have two sinks because you can fill one and use the other for rinsing. If you only have one, place all your dishes in a rack next to your sink, and then fill your sink.

Additionally, if you have a dishwasher, you can prevent waste by not pre-rinsing them. It’s an unnecessary step because most dishwashers are powerful enough to take care of the debris.

5 – Use a Broom Instead of the Hose for Outdoor Cleaning

Many people use their hose to clean driveways, sidewalks, and steps, but it uses hundreds of gallons. Consider using a broom instead, saving the hose for occasional use.

6 – Invest in a Low-Flush Toilet

A low-flush toilet uses much less water than other appliances and saves energy. Flushing uses a lot of resources, and the low-flush options use less than half of what old-style toilets use.

7 – Run Your Dishwasher and Washing Machine Only When It’s Full

You might get tempted to run small loads in your dishwasher or washing machine when that’s all you have. However, it’s wasteful, as each load uses 30 to 35 gallons each time.

Even if you run your washing machine on a delicate cycle, you can add other things that aren’t too dirty. It not only saves fresh resources, but it also prevents wasting detergent and makes chores go faster.

8 – Use a Plastic-Weighted Water Bottle in Your Toilet Tank

Using a weighted bottle in your toilet tank saves resources because it doesn’t have to fill as much space. Add an inch or two of pebble or sand to the bottom of a bottle, and then fill it with water.

Place it in your toilet tank, away from the operating mechanism, and you can conserve nearly five gallons daily. It doesn’t harm your toilet tank and offers an opportunity to conserve for those who can’t invest in a new toilet.

9 – Fix Leaky Pipes, Faucets, or Toilets

The EPA estimates that the average household wastes 9,400 gallons a year due to leaks. You might notice a tiny drop of water dripping from your faucet or showerhead, a pipe might leak under your sink, or sometimes your toilet leaks. Despite the origin of the leak, it’s wasting this essential resource.

If you suspect your toilet leaks, you can test it by adding food coloring to the tank. You’ll know if it leaks if you see any color in the bowl without flushing.

Another area to check for leaks is your outdoor faucets and pipes. These problems are easier to ignore since they don’t mess up your home but can waste a lot of resources.

Watching your utility bill can also help you see if you see a leak. If your utility bill increases significantly without reason, you might leak somewhere.

10 – Install a Low-Flow Shower Head

A low-flow showerhead is easy to install and doesn’t cost much. It also saves money on your bill and protects our depleting resources. You can find these shower heads at any hardware or plumbing supply store.

11 – Don’t Flush Your Toilet When You Don’t Have To

Every time you flush your toilet, it uses nearly five gallons. Don’t flush it when you don’t have to, and don’t be afraid to let it settle for a while before flushing.

12 – Fill a Bowl with Water When Rinsing Vegetables

It’s tempting to leave the tap running while you rinse vegetables, but it’s incredibly wasteful. A better option is to fill the sink and use that to scrub and rinse the veggies. Otherwise, you let quite a bit run down the drain.

13 – Turn the Faucet off When Brushing Your Teeth or Shaving

When you brush your teeth, turn the faucet on only to get your toothbrush wet and fill a glass. Then, you can brush your teeth and rinse your mouth with what’s in the cup. It prevents excess water from going down the drain.

You can fill the sink with a few inches of water and then plug the drain for shaving. You can rinse your razor there rather than running the tap every time.

14 – Keep Drinking Water Chilled in The Refrigerator

When you want a drink from the tap, you likely let it run until it gets cold. Every time you do this, it wastes water. Instead, fill a bottle or pitcher with water to drink from throughout the day. This way, you don’t have to let the tap run as it all runs down the drain.

15 – Limit Food Waste

You might not think your food contributes to water usage, but it takes resources to produce fruit and other food. When you waste food, you waste other essential resources.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Stop Wasting Water

Reducing water waste is essential to preserving natural resources. While you may not realize the issue if you live in a water-rich area, it makes a difference no matter where you live.

These tips can help reduce waste, preserve resources, and save money. Small changes can make a difference, even if you can’t do them all.

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