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Why You Will Marry The Right Person

August 8, 2016 by Power of Positivity

It’s a daunting task to know you are absolutely choosing the right person to marry, but you don’t have to worry that you might choose wrong. There are many cases that prove marriage isn’t about finding the one perfect person to “fit you”, and how you can have a happy, successful partnership no matter who you fall in love with.

Why You Will Marry The Right Person

In this article, we will look at some of the reasons why you can feel comfortable that you will marry the right person. Trust yourself, take a leap of faith, and realize that you have the power to love deeply long-term inside you with these lessons that you have learned.

You don’t let negative childhood experiences shape your relationships

Our earliest relationship was the one that we had with our parents. Psychologists say that we tend to find someone who resembles the parent that we did not get enough love from because we still want that love as an adult. We may try to find a partner who is like our parent and we try to get what we were missing in our parental relationship from our romantic relationship. This is a tendency to be insecure about receiving enough love and being aware of that quest for the missing parental love can help us to marry the right person.

Researchers studied couples who were secure in their attachment style to a romantic partner and found that partners who were not anxious about their partner’s level of commitment had the best relationship satisfaction in marriage. They also found that spouses who scored lower on anxiety had higher marriage satisfaction, and that couples in which husbands were comfortable with emotional closeness were also happier.

You are self-aware

Self-awareness is key for solving problems in a relationship. Arguments will result from not understanding your own tendencies to be frustrated and how you tend to respond to your partner. People who harness the power of positivity in their lives practice self-awareness. This is key to understanding your emotions so that you can control how you respond to your partner when you are frustrated, tired, worried or upset.

You have learned from previous relationships

You know what you DO want in the partner that you will marry because you’ve found out already what you don’t want from a relationship. Your previous experiences with love and loss have prepared you to master this next relationship, and that’s another reason why you can feel sure that will marry the right person.

You’ve learned these important relationship skills that you will use in your marriage:

Communication
Collaboration
Compromise
Compassion

You accept your own faults and you don’t blame others

Sometimes, we are guilty of the illusion that we are infallible; that we are perfect, and that our partner is at fault for the problems. But people who are positive they will marry the right person know that there really is no perfect human on the planet and that we all are flawed in our own ways.

Taking responsibility for your own actions that are causing disharmony in your relationship and working to fix them, for example, by being a better listener, is one of the reasons why you will marry the right person. Your marriage will be a success because you will be able to identify, accept, understand, and take ownership for your flaws and work to better yourself. This will in turn benefit your marriage.

You are excellent at communication

One of the most important reasons why you will marry the right person is that you know how to communicate your wants and needs, your worries and joys, your frustrations and your love. Talking openly and honestly about your emotions and needs is key to building trust with your partner and feeling fulfilled in a marriage partnership.

Researchers in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology looked at how couples interacted with each other and used that data to predict their future relationship satisfaction. They found that the couples’ communication patterns and the intensity of their problems led to the development of relationship distress later in the marriage.

You aren’t willing to settle for someone who isn’t a good fit versus being alone

You know that you are a valuable person who deserves to find the right person to marry, and settling just isn’t in your vocabulary. Just because Mr. or Ms. Right hasn’t come along yet doesn’t mean that you are willing to settle for Mr. or Ms. Good Enough. Patience is indeed a virtue and finding that nugget of gold in a mountain of dirt is indeed possible, if you give it enough time and make the effort to sort through all the worthless stuff to find the priceless stuff.

5 Signs You’re In A Manipulative Relationship

August 8, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We hope that you never have to experience being in a manipulative relationship, but since many of us will experience a breakup with the wrong person at sometime in our lives, it’s possible that you already have. In this article, we will look at the five signs that you are in a manipulative relationship. Therefore, you can recognize it and get out before it is too late.

5 Signs You’re In A Manipulative Relationship

A manipulative person is basically a narcissistic personality who knows how to get what they want from you. Narcissistic Personality Disorder as defined by the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 4th edition:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.

The 5th, and most recent edition adds the following:

1. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):

a. Empathy: Impaired ability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others; excessively attuned to reactions of others, but only if perceived as relevant to self; over- or underestimate of own effect on others.

b. Intimacy: Relationships largely superficial and exist to serve self-esteem regulation; mutuality constrained by little genuine interest in others’ experiences and predominance of a need for personal gain

Here are 5 other warning signs that the narcissistic person you are in a relationship with is trying to manipulate you.

1. You don’t control much in your own life

A manipulative partner will make it their mission to take away any power that you have in the relationship. They do this by taking control of the bank account, the car, the legal documents, the passwords and accounts, the cell phone and anything else that they think gives you any level of control.

2. Your partner is rarely nurturing or supportive

Researchers at the Department of Psychology at the University of Arizona studied the ideal romantic partner personality. They found that ‘Individuals sought mates that were matches of themselves to some degree (a concept that we termed aspirational positive assortative mating) but also sought mates that were somewhat higher in Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Mate Value, but lower in Neuroticism than themselves.’

We tend to like a romantic partner who is very similar to ourselves and the research also mentions that this is true for manipulative people. A person who is cold, detached, manipulative, and exploitative, rather than nurturing and supportive is a personality known as a Machiavellian personality type. The University of Arizona researchers say that a heterosexual woman who is manipulative also tends to prefer a male partner who is also manipulative.

3. Your partner does not seem committed to you

Researchers at the University of Alabama, in cooperation with the University of Florida and the University of Georgia studied narcissism, sexuality, and relationship commitment found that a manipulative or narcissistic personality tends to be overly sexually promiscuous since they see people as conquests, and as a result, they are not committed to the relationship.

If you suspect your partner of infidelity and they don’t seem to be sorry for their behavior, it is a sign you’re in a manipulative relationship. A lack of being able to feel a deep, loving commitment is a sign of a manipulative relationship. Your partner may say the right words, but actions will always speak louder than words.

You may feel that they have not been behaving in a loving way toward you and the truth is that manipulative people and narcissists are able to pretend to love, but don’t really experience it the way that a psychologically healthy person does. When you end up leaving this person, which may be inevitable, they will not be likely to cry or mourn the relationship like you will.

4. Your partner has difficulty handling their emotions

You may notice that your partner moves quickly from one emotion to another and that although you can tell how they feel by observing their facial expressions and behavior, they don’t seem to know that they are having a feeling. Manipulative people are uncomfortable with emotions and they may repress or deny them or act out when they feel them.

Poorly handling anger, frustration, sadness, and anxiety is a sign of a poorly adjusted personality and these types of people can tend toward violent behavior when they feel an emotion that they don’t know how to handle. They may bottle up emotions until they burst out with insulting words, aggressive language, threats, or destructive behavior.

Your safety is a concern if you are in a manipulative relationship so be sure to tread lightly with this person. Avoiding conflict is probably your best bet until you can make sure that you can safely leave the relationship and get help by calling the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visiting their website for resources.

5. You find yourself doing things that you don’t enjoy

A manipulative person has a goal of moving you around like a puppet to do what they want, but never what you want to do. If you feel like you rarely get to enjoy things anymore, but that your partner is always calling the shots and saying what you will be doing, you may be in a manipulative relationship.

8 Behaviors of Parents That Keep Children From Being Successful

August 7, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Parents work hard to raise children that will be successful. However, it is important to understand any parenting behaviors that may hold children back from reaching their full potential. In this article, we’ve uncovered 8 unintentional parenting behaviors that can keep children from being fully developed, thriving, adults.

Parents of all kinds can raise successful children, it truly is an even playing field and many stories have proven this. Even children who were raised in abusive homes can become amazing adults who go on to be excellent artists, writers, professors, athletes, scientists, philosophers, or exceptional leaders in any field that they choose.

What makes a successfully raised child is debatable, but we know that resilience is a key trait for healthy adults to possess and it can be learned in childhood. Whatever you teach or don’t teach your children, be sure to help them to learn how to bounce back from minor and major setbacks, because they are an inevitable part of life.

Parents have good intentions but do make mistakes, as we all do. Be kind to yourself if you make an error, but let your child know about it and use it as a learning opportunity with them. Let’s look at 8 of the parenting behaviors that keep children from being successful.

8 Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Being Successful

Many people can recall ways in which their own parents behaved that did not help them be successful adult. They may wish for a different childhood. But the guilt or shame that parents may unintentionally leave with children is not what any parent wants their own children to experience. Avoiding these eight behaviors is important to set children up for success.

1. Discouraging trying new things

One parenting behavior that can hold children back from being successful is discouraging them from trying a new skill. Sometimes, parents have the best intentions in restricting behavior, when they have a reasonable belief that their child will fail. However, failure is also a part of life, and learning to deal with it in a positive way is important for success later in life.

2. Over-Coddling

Doing any chore for your children that they are capable of doing, and should be doing in order to be a well-functioning adult, is a parenting behavior that keeps children from being successful. An example of over-coddling would be doing laundry children when they are teenagers (or even young adults).

3. Praising small things

Believe it or not, overly praising children can keep them from being successful. Praising small accomplishments that children have mastered is not going to motivate them to keep driving themselves to accomplish more and more. For example, praising an 8-year old for dressing themselves is not encouraging them to do this behavior on their own without praise. Focusing praise on the significant accomplishments that children make, for example, in their educational performance does hold importance, however.

4. Discouraging friendships

Researchers reviewed the prior research on maladaptive parenting behaviors and found that positive outcomes for successful children included parents who helped their children create effective social networks. A strong social support system was helpful for children to rely on in times of uncertainty or stress.

5. Helicoptering

Hovering over a child’s every move is not only annoying, but it leads the child to an unfortunate conclusion; mom or dad do not believe in my ability to be successful on my own. Unfortunately, this parenting behavior leads children to distrust in their own abilities and take fewer risks. That’s true even when they are capable of doing something on their own.

6. Overly strict parenting behavior

Research by the University College London found that harsh parenting behavior had effects on the level of self-control for children and that these effects lasted and were also correlated with conduct problems later in life. The researchers say that ‘Harsh parenting predicted conduct problems for both boys and girls. Self-control at age 9 predicted conduct problems and emotional difficulties at age 12.’

Lower self-control levels result from strict oversight of children’s behavior and too many restrictions in the home. Allowing children, especially as they learn to manage their behavior within the reasonable boundaries that they have already mastered, to experience greater and greater freedom is essential to children being successful.

7. Discouraging emotional expression

A healthy parent-child relationship is mutually beneficial to both child and adult. A balance of give and take early in a relationship is one of the best predictors of childhood success. To build this connection, honest discussion about frustrations, worries, and things that upset you can help children learn about negative emotions and how to handle them without suppressing them.

8. Not practicing what is taught

With all of the guidance parents give their children, children still watch to see if the parenting behavior matches what they have taught. If you do not share with others, but you teach your children to do so, they are receiving a mixed message and they may experience confusion about what is really right.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

This ONE Behavior Will Affect Your Relationship More Than Anything Else

August 7, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Our earliest relationship may be the one thing that affects our future relationships more than anything else. Your bond to the most important people in your life at an early age can set you up for successful relationship patterns. Conversely, it could make it difficult for you to have an honest, loving connection with romantic partners.

In this article, we will look at how our parental relationship style relates to our experience of romantic relationships. Some people had very negative relationships with their parents. Thus, they learned to overcome these difficulties and not let them affect their relationships. We will also look at the ways that we can overcome the past and heal from it. Thus, it does not negatively affect our future relationships.

This ONE Behavior Will Affect Your Future Relationship More Than Anything Else

Your relationship with your partner is an important part of your life. So you want it to be a positive, healthy experience that helps you both to grow closer to each other. One thing that will affect your current and future relationships more than anything else is your bond with your first relationship partners. Your parents.

There are healthy and unhealthy ways of connecting to your parents/ Moreover, these are things that were mostly out of your control as a young child. For example, your parents may not have been ready to have children. Still, they tried to raise you as best they knew how. Their efforts to give you the skills that you would need as an adult may have been good, bad, or somewhere in the middle.

Since the way that you were parented was not something you could control. In fact, your response to that early relationship is the only thing that you can control. Let’s look at the good and bad parenting styles and the healthy ways you can heal from the bad ones so that they won’t affect your future romantic partnerships.

What is attachment style?

Psychologists studying human parenting bonds say that there are three attachment styles that describe how mothers and fathers relate to their children. These are the Secure, Anxious Preoccupied, and Dismissive Avoidant attachment styles.

Secure attachment style. This is the healthiest attachment style because it means that we feel secure in our connection to our romantic partner. As children, our parents raised us to feel confident that we would not be abandoned. Parents who form a secure attachment bond with their children had a healthy balance of time spent apart form their children, and time spent with and supporting their children, especially when they were anxious or upset.
Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style. These relationships may be doomed to be successful because the partner feels insecure on their own. They have an unfulfilled need for emotional attachment and love that they did not receive from their parents. When their partner is away, they feel upset and abandoned.
Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style. These relationships are not likely to be successful unless both partners have the same style. In the dismissive avoidant attachment style, there is an emotional distance where there is a lack of positive emotional connection.
Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style. This person has experienced violence or abuse with a parent and will have difficulty trusting anyone to not hurt them.

Why does this ONE behavior affect all of your current and future relationships?

Your first significant relationship to your parent or parents can predict your future relationship outcome because it is ultimately about how you learn to love another person. Your parents set you up with an expectation of either being loved and supported, or not. You then carry this expectation to your future relationships, even if you aren’t aware of it.

Researchers at the University of Texas, Austin say that attachment style has ‘substantial associations between attachment dimensions and relationship satisfaction, nonintimate sexuality, eating disorders, and motives for drinking.’

Unlearning maladaptive relationship habits may take the help of a psychologist who can help you to see the pattern that you are repeating. However, if you already have a good understanding of your past parental relationship. Then, you may be able to identify your own negative behavior pattern and change it on your own.

For example, a person who had an Anxious Preoccupied parental relationship can recognize their tendency to crave emotional attention from their romantic partner. This person needs to learn self-soothing behaviors. Furthermore, they must develop their self-confidence when they feel anxious.

Researchers form the State University of New York at Stony Brook say that ‘adolescents’ negative perceptions of parental conflict were associated with insecure attachment with parents, which was in turn associated with negative marital expectations and romantic experiences.’

A person who had a Dismissive Avoidant parental relationship might learn to identify emotions, acknowledge that they have both positive and negative emotions, and learn healthy ways to deal with negative emotions. People who had a Fearful Avoidant relationship with their parents may need to work with a licensed therapist to heal from their hurtful past.

Study Reveals: People Who Eat Dark Chocolate Daily Have Lower Risk of Heart Disease, Stroke

August 6, 2016 by Power of Positivity

One thing is certain. Not too many of us would turn down a chocolate cupcake or candy bar if offered it. However, the research continues to pour in about the negative impact added sugar is for our mental and physical health. In fact, studies have shown that eating too much processed sugar can raise your risk of dying of heart disease. And, that’s even if you aren’t overweight.

So, given this information, you might wonder why we advocate eating chocolate every day for your health. Doctors and scientists globally suggest that people cut their sugar intake enormously. But does that mean chocolate is out of the question?

So, we will go ahead and get to the good stuff. How can you eat chocolate every single day and still maintain your health?

Well, it turns out that chocolate contains far more health benefits than most people realize. So next time you get a craving for something sweet, do not feel guilty for reaching for that chocolate bar!

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Eat 100g Of Chocolate Per Day

Even though eating added sugars have been linked to heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and other health ailments, eating up to 100 g of chocolate every day can lower your risk of heart disease and stroke. That’s according to research published online in the journal Heart.

Also, the researchers in the study found that cutting out chocolate would not lower risk of cardiovascular disease. They based their findings on results recorded from observing nearly 21,000 adults taking part in the EPIC-Norfolk study. That research reviwed how diet affects the long term health of 25,000 men and women in Norfolk, England. The study gathered data about food frequency and lifestyle choices in order to obtain results. The researchers also reviewed the available international published evidence on the association between chocolate and cardiovascular disease. Those findings included the EPIC study participants of almost 158,000 people.

The researchers tracked the study participants for almost 12 years. During that period 14 percent experienced either a fatal or non-fatal coronary heart disease or stroke. 20 percent of participants didn’t eat chocolate. But the others consumed an average of 7g daily, with some eating up to 100 g daily.

The Results

They found something very interesting. Eating higher amounts of chocolate linked to lower weight (BMI), lower waist: hip ratio, lower systolic blood pressure, lower inflammatory proteins, and a decreased occurrence of diabetes, along with a fairly regular fitness routine. All of these pieces of data confirm a healthy cardiovascular profile.

Also, the people in the study who consumed more chocolate had higher energy levels. And, in many cases they had more stamina than others who consumed caffeine and energy drinks.

What’s more, the researchers found that the people who consumed higher amounts of chocolate had an 11 percent lower risk of cardiovascular disease and a 25 percent lower risk of associated death. Also, the chocolate lovers had a 9 percent lower risk of hospital admission or death related to coronary heart disease.

In the study, 16,000 people had their inflammatory protein levels measured, and the participants who ate the most chocolate had an 18 percent lower risk than those who ate the least. Not to mention, people who ate the most chocolate also had a 23 percent lower risk of having a stroke.

Out of the nine studies in the systematic review, five of them found a dramatic reduction in the risks of both coronary heart disease and stroke when at least 100g of chocolate was consumed. Furthermore, eating this amount of chocolate was linked to a 25 percent lower risk of any episode of cardiovascular disease and even a 45 percent lower risk of death.

Even though the results from these studies seem very promising, the researchers still say that we can’t draw absolute conclusions from the at this time, as the food frequency questionnaires have a certain amount of recall bias and possible inaccuracies associated with how much food was eaten.

Additional benefits of eating dark chocolate every day:

1. Enhances brainpower

According to a study by the U.K’s Northumbria University, subjects that ate chocolate and then waited 90 minutes tested for enhanced mathematical and cognitive aptitude. Experts believe this is due to the antioxidant flavanol. The antioxidant may expand blood vessels and increase blood flow to the brain.

2. Helps digestion and gut health

Subjects that were tested for high levels of stress hormones were put on a dark chocolate regimen for an indefinite amount of time. However, after just two weeks, samples taken from the patients showed a marked decrease in hormonal levels in the gut related to stress. Particularly, metabolic bacteria in the gut became more active and produced additional healthy bacteria that were then made available to the body. Scientists believe that flavanol and other healthy polyphenols contributed to this noteworthy discovery, which showed chocolate’s positive gut health benefits.

3. Improves skin health

In one study, women who drank a high-flavanol cocoa drink every day for three months showed a marked increase in blood flow to the epidermis.

The results:

Skin density increased by 16 percent.
Skin thickness improved by 11 percent.
Moisture improved by 13 percent.
Dryness decreased by 42 percent.

The potent antioxidant and flavanol properties of chocolate might be the primary reasons why skin rejuvenates at such a fast rate.

Cardiologists explain why the DASH Foods diet improves heart health.

4. Reduces bad cholesterol

People that eat around 3 ounces of dark or high-flavanol chocolate every day have a more normalized ratio of “good” (HDL) to “bad” (LDL) cholesterol. Admittedly, scientists aren’t quite certain why this is, but they believe that flavonoids play a particularly important role.

In a supplementary study, scientists discovered that dark chocolate helps elderly people with enhanced cognitive function and increased feelings of serenity. In conclusion, scientists believe that chocolate’s positive effects on cholesterol levels, thinking capacity and feelings of serenity may be a promising solution, both short- and long-term in the care of the elderly.

Here’s Why Everyone Needs a Sensitive Person In Their Life

August 6, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Sensitive people: Genuine givers, any takers?

We all have that one friend who seems awkward, difficult to understand, and even a little bit reclusive lately, and you wonder why.

Let me put some huge Vegas-style neon lights on the following statement: Your friend is sensitive and is going through a rough patch. These sensitive people are truly of the heart; they are more precious than diamonds. They give spades of love and kindness, and you will now get a glimpse of their world.

It is said that one in five of the population is a “highly sensitive person”. They feel the highs and lows of the emotional roller-coaster far greater than you can imagine. Imagine being dumped by your beau/belle; sensitive people feel the hurt much more. That’s because everything they see and hear reminds them of it. They go all in on the relationship and if it fails, they become emotionally bankrupt and shut down automatically. Imagine getting a promotion at work: You guessed it, they party like there is no tomorrow and get together with their friends and family and share the joy. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Here’s Why You Need A Sensitive Person In Your Life

“What about other people’s emotions?”

They are the same, almost as if it were happening to them. If you are going through a tough break-up, they are the first ones knocking on your door to cheer you up and lend a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear to listen. Some bold sensitive people would even whisk you away to the beach, the club, the swimming pool, or anywhere you want to distract you from the pain. They do not leave your side until you feel better about being that amazing you.

Why?

You can bet your bottom dollar that they do not want other people to go through something they have probably gone through themselves. At the other end of the spectrum, they celebrate that promotion you got as if it were their own, so get ready for a restaurant reservation at the very least. I already mentioned the chicken dinner, did I not?

In brief, sensitive people make the most loyal friends and back you to the hilt. Yet, this is what makes them so vulnerable to the emotional freeloaders. They give so willingly that some decide to manipulate their good nature. This hurts the sensitive one more deeply than anything else, and they blame themselves for it more often than not. Yet, they keep doing the same thing over and over. It is in their nature to give, help, cry, yell and to dance, hug, laugh, and bug you sometimes.

There is a special person in there, you can be assured of that. Can you see them better now? Are there any takers for such great givers?

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Why You Will Marry The Right Person

You don’t let negative childhood experiences shape your relationships

You are self-aware

You have learned from previous relationships

You accept your own faults and you don’t blame others

You are excellent at communication

You aren’t willing to settle for someone who isn’t a good fit versus being alone

5 Signs You’re In A Manipulative Relationship

1. You don’t control much in your own life

2. Your partner is rarely nurturing or supportive

3. Your partner does not seem committed to you

4. Your partner has difficulty handling their emotions

5. You find yourself doing things that you don’t enjoy

8 Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Being Successful

1. Discouraging trying new things

2. Over-Coddling

3. Praising small things

4. Discouraging friendships

5. Helicoptering

6. Overly strict parenting behavior

7. Discouraging emotional expression

8. Not practicing what is taught

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

This ONE Behavior Will Affect Your Future Relationship More Than Anything Else

What is attachment style?

Why does this ONE behavior affect all of your current and future relationships?

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Eat 100g Of Chocolate Per Day

The Results

Related article: 6 Reasons To Eat Chocolate Every Day

Additional benefits of eating dark chocolate every day:

1. Enhances brainpower

2. Helps digestion and gut health

3. Improves skin health

4. Reduces bad cholesterol

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Here’s Why You Need A Sensitive Person In Your Life

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