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What Is Your Psychological Superpower?

Millions of people suffer from feelings of anxiety, depression, phobias, obsessions, addiction disorders or other psychological problems, but confronting and healing from what are labeled as “disorders” can give you a psychological superpower that others cannot begin to understand.

No, you won’t have X-Ray vision or invisibility superpowers, but recovering from mental illness gives you psychological super-strength and superpowers that you can use every day. People who struggle with handling their psychological symptoms can harness an inner strength that is different from what normal people experience.

Think about people who are crazy in a good way, and you think of artists, composers, and intellectual geniuses. People who can successfully manage coping with bizarre thoughts and emotional stress while also functioning in jobs and families have superpowers that the rest of us cannot understand.

What Is Your Psychological Superpower?

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, one out of every four adults has a mental illness in a given year. That number translated to more than 61 million people in America who were facing the challenge of mental illness as of 2013.

1. Perceptive psychological superpowers

People who have low self-esteem may suffer from the psychological problems of anxiety or depression. They are also hyper-sensitive to criticism and can pick up on tiny inflections in your voice. They are also hyper-sensitive to facial expressions, gestures, and environmental cues of social rejection.

You have seen the superpower of excellent perception used on TV if you have ever seen the crime-comedy Monk. When you think that everyone is looking at you, you feel like you are under a microscope so you start looking at everything else in hyper-detail with this psychological superpower too.

Related article: 5 Signs Your Partner Has Hidden Anxiety

Unfortunately, the lens that people with anxiety or depression see the world through has a bias toward negativity. If they can turn off the negative filter, people with anxiety and depression can better use their psychological superpowers of perception for good, not evil.

2. Intuitive psychological superpowers

Your gut is hyperactive and highly sensitive. It seems to overreact to anxiety-provoking moments and as a result, you know immediately if there is a reason to be afraid. Unfortunately your psychological superpower also means that the stress you feel causes gas, bloating, and abdominal discomfort in addition to giving you your psychological superpower of intuitiveness.

Related article: 5 Things That Happen When You Suppress Your Emotions

You can definitely trust your gut, and from your perspective, you think other people should too. The problem is that you can’t trust your perspective because you are recovering from having distorted thoughts due to being mentally ill. You might not be able to trust your friend’s perspective either because one in four of us have a mental illness of some sort.

3. Empathic and hyper-social-cue psychological superpowers

If you suffer from what is labeled as a “mental illness”, you are very empathetic to others due to the wide range of emotional extremes that you experience. You understand extreme grief and inexplicable sorrow, or you may understand manic joy or extreme anxiety better than anyone else. Being able to provide empathy is a social and psychological super power.

As someone who is recovering from depression, you are highly sensitive to social cues of rejection due to your low self-esteem issues. When others are oblivious to the turning of heads and whispered glances, you know exactly when you are being publicly shamed into leaving a social group due to being different.

4. Creative psychological superpowers

From Vincent Van Gogh to Edgar Allen Poe, creative “mentally ill” people who unleash their psychological superpowers have left their mark on the arts of our culture for centuries. Your superpower ability to think outside the box helps you to creatively solve problems.

In a study of creative writers and rates of mental illness, researchers found ‘The writers had a substantially higher rate of mental illness, predominantly affective disorder, with a tendency toward the bipolar subtype. There was also a higher prevalence of affective disorder and creativity in the writers’ first-degree relatives, suggesting that these traits run together in families and could be genetically mediated.’

Another study found that creativity was associated with a higher likelihood of having schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, or abusing drugs or alcohol. Unfortunately for this psychological superpower, the risk of suicide was also higher for these people.

If you yourself have concerns about your thoughts, emotions or behavior, getting the help of a licensed counselor is easier than ever. You now have access to counseling apps, text messaging, and video chat in addition to the face to face way of getting help.

Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 for immediate help or to help someone else who is in crisis. Click this link for the click to chat feature on the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It’s never too late to save a psychological superhero before they become one of the 117 Americans who die every day from suicide.

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(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

What Type of Person Do You Attract?

Whether in romantic or platonic relationships, we all attract certain types of people into our lives based on our attitude, personality, and other factors. However, who we attract and who we’d ideally like to attract often are two different things. For instance, maybe you want outdoorsy types of friends who would rather spend their time in nature than watching TV, but you tend to attract couch potatoes. It happens, even though our happiness partially depends on having relationships with others that will allow us to grow and share common interests with.

So, in this article, we’ll talk about what type of people you tend to attract, and how you can go about attracting people that you really want in your life.

What Type of Person Do You Attract?

We’ll list a few of the most common personalities and character traits for you so that you can see which people you most frequently attract, and who you’d like to attract, ideally.

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The Earth-Lover

This type of person loves to spend every second they get in the great outdoors, forgetting about the modern world and just relishing in all the natural wonders of the Earth. They love planning great excursions and reaching new heights, both figuratively and literally. This type of person loves a challenge, and lives for taking risks and breaking barriers. They might be into things such as cliff jumping, skydiving, base jumping, rock climbing, and other types of extreme sports.

Or, in the lesser extreme, they might just enjoy a hike through the woods or a road trip to the Grand Canyon. If you love the outdoors, you will likely attract this type of person.

The Artist

If you enjoy painting, drawing, writing, reading, and other types of art in your spare time, you will likely attract someone with the same interests. An artist sees the world in a different way, and could care less about numbers and dollars and analytical ideals. They want to create something beautiful, and make their imagination come to life. Artists live inside their own minds a lot, but because of this, they can create from their own thoughts and feelings, and bring something new to life.

The Intellectual

These people enjoy having deep conversations and learning new ways of thinking. They have a very wide range of knowledge, in most cases, and can talk to you about everything from quantum physics to philosophy to art history. This person loves to learn, and lives for conversations that expand their mind. They likely have a more logical, analytical personality that enables them to see things objectively. They tend to have strong opinions, and don’t feel shy about voicing them.

You might attract these types of people if you have a mature, objective, analytical personality.

The Empath

The empath feels deeply, and loves to offer advice and a shoulder to cry on to those in need. This type of friend or partner will never leave your side, and will stay up through the night listening to you, or just holding you if you need it. They are the most loyal, honest, giving, beautiful people you will ever meet, and you might attract this type of person if you are receptive to emotions.

Empaths need to feel safe, loved, and understood, so you likely attract this type of person if you are a deep, compassionate person.

The Tech Lover

These people will spend hours playing video games, watching movies, or playing boardgames. They tend to also love intellectual topics, and can spend hours talking to you about subjects that truly interest them. Far from what was once known as nerds, this personality is often celebrated, because they keep their child-like demeanor and show others how to have fun, play, and learn all at the same time.

You might attract this type of person if you consider yourself a movie buff, a gamer, or something of the sort.

The Go-Getter

You might attract a passionate, driven, motivated person if you have big goals you’d like to accomplish. The go-getter will keep you motivated, and encourage you to follow through with your plans even if they seem scary. This type of person loves to push the boundaries and see how much they’re truly capable of. They hardly ever slow down, as they want to utilize their time to the best of their ability.

The go-getter might have several successful businesses, best-selling books, or maybe a popular YouTube channel. They know how to get what they want, and don’t hesitate to go after it.

The Introvert

You prefer spending time with quieter, more reserved people. You might attract this type of person for two reasons: (1) you’re an introvert yourself or; (2) you’re an extrovert who needs someone to balance you out.

Introverts and extroverts can certainly get along, but if you attract the former, then you likely need someone in your life to help you slow down and enjoy the little things in life.

The Extrovert

On the contrary, if you attract an extrovert, then you might need some excitement in your life, whether you identify as an introvert or extrovert. If you attract this type of person, get ready for some fun and adventures, as this outgoing friend or partner will help you have the time of your life.

Attracting an extrovert might mean that you have an outgoing personality as well that your friend or partner finds attractive, or maybe the person needs an opposite personality to balance them out.

The Debbie Downer

Unfortunately, we’ve all known this type of person at some point in our lives. They can come from all walks of life, but they don’t offer much in a relationship except bringing you down. They like to complain about anything and everything, and will spread their negativity to anyone who will listen.

If you attract this type of person, you might want to take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself what types of behaviors you might engage in that attract negative people. Do you complain a lot? Don’t you stand up for yourself? Do you allow people to take advantage of you? Oftentimes, positive people will actually attract negative people because the Debbie downer feeds off their energy. If you have a relationship like this in your life, you need to confront the person immediately so that they don’t continue this destructive behavior any longer, at least on your watch.

Related Article: 10 Habits That Make You More Attractive

How To Attract The People You Want

1. Know who you are.

Believe it or not, knowing yourself well can help you form deeper, more positive relationships. If you don’t know yourself, you’ll likely attract people who don’t know themselves, either. Just the same, if you don’t love yourself, you’ll only attract more people who don’t love themselves.

To prove our point about the importance of knowing yourself, researchers in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology studied the Law of Attraction and discovered that it even applied to 4th graders. Students in grades 4-12 filled out surveys about their attitudes and preferences. Then, the students looked over surveys from other students, without knowing whose survey they had in their hand. Both boys and girls ranked the surveys most similar to theirs as being the most attractive people.

Related article: 5 Things You Need To Know To Attract The Right People

2. Have an open heart and mind.

In order to attract the right people, you have to remain open-minded. You can’t possibly attract who you want if you don’t believe that you have the ability to do so. Keep your emotions positive, and you can even try repeating affirmations such as “I will attract people into my life who are positive, healthy, and happy.”

Also, focus on healing yourself from the inside out. This way, you’ll attract more whole, healthy people who you can truly enjoy a thriving, positive relationship with.

3. Don’t try to control it.

No matter how much you say that you want a specific person in your life, you can’t control who shows up. It might be an elderly man, or it could be a teenager. The Law of Attraction sends you a person who will most benefit your evolution on this Earth, so don’t question the methods. Just enjoy the presence of whoever happens to show up, and know that you either consciously or unconsciously attracted them into your life.

These Herbs Can Help You With Anxiety And They’re More Effective Than Medicines

Anxiety isa group of uncomfortable symptoms that most of us want to avoid. But taking prescription medication with its’ many adverse side effects is not as desirable as trying herbs that can be more effective than medicines. Undoubtedly, medicine has earned its place in society as a helpful tool. But those who follow a more natural path seek first to find their medicine from nature instead of a pharmacy.

As you would with prescription medicine, take care when using herbs as even some herbs can become toxic in high doses or you may have a particular sensitivity to them. If you are already taking a medicine to relieve anxiety, talk to your medical provider about your desire to reduce the medication and switch to natural herbs.

These Herbs Can Help You With Anxiety And They’re More Effective Than Medicines

Most herbs that can help you with anxiety have a sedative effect, so exercise caution when you know you will need to be alert, for example when driving. Most of these herbs can be used as a tea, although stronger forms are available as supplements.

Essential oils, infusions, and tinctures are also available for herbal anxiety remedies. So consulting with a naturopathic physician can help you to find the right strength of natural herbal remedy that will work best for your unique anxiety situation and symptoms.

In addition to working with herbal remedies for treating the symptoms of anxiety, look at what may be causing your anxiousness and look for ways to reduce or remove stress in your life. Treating the symptom without treating the cause is like filling a bucket with a hole at the bottom; you’ll never get anywhere. Meditation, breathing practice, exercise and being outdoors can also help reduce anxiety as effectively as some prescription medications, so look for alternative therapies as well.

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Chamomile

Chamomile is a flower that is frequently used as an herbal, non-caffeinated tea for help with falling asleep. Its compounds can also be used to help relieve anxiety. Researchers say that inhaling a spray containing the essential oils derived from chamomile can be used to relieve anxiety as well as general depression.

The researchers also say ‘Chamomile in the form of an aqueous extract has been frequently used as a mild sedative to calm nerves and reduce anxiety, to treat hysteria, nightmares, insomnia and other sleep problems.’ The study suggests that the German chamomile variety is the one with the most benefits for generalized anxiety disorder.

Lavender

Most frequently used as aromatherapy, lavender has a calming effect for those suffering from symptoms of anxiety. This herbal remedy can be more effective than prescription medicine for reducing intense stress, for example, during childbirth. Hospitals sometimes use lavender essential oil diffusers as aromatherapy in maternity wards. When it is in use, women are less likely to request pain medication during childbirth.

Lemon balm

Researchers gave subjects 600mg doses of lemon balm and then subjected them to a simulated stressful event. Afterward, they had them rate their levels of anxiety and stress and found that those who had received the lemon balm doses had ‘significantly increased self-ratings of calmness and reduced self-ratings of alertness.’

Green tea

Researchers studying the effects of the active compound in green tea, l-theanine found ‘Results evidently demonstrated that l-theanine clearly has a pronounced effect on attention performance and reaction time response in normal healthy subjects prone to have high anxiety.’ For those subjects who had high anxiety, the l-theanine kept them calm and also helped improve their performance on mental tests.

Kava

Kava is less well-known to the Western world. However, cultures of the South Pacific to help with anxiety and some say that it is more effective than medicine. Kava works by increasing the brain chemical GABA, which helps communication between the brain and the body and reduces anxiety symptoms like rapid heart rate, perspiration, and shakiness.

Valerian

The name valerian is similar to the anti-anxiety medicine named Valium. So you can easily remember that this herb is going to be effective to help you’re your anxiety. Valerian has been used effectively as a sleep aid for centuries and its effectiveness for reducing anxiety is also widely known. Again, avoid situations where drowsiness may cause you potential harm, for example, while driving.

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Passion flower

Although the herb passion flower sounds like something that would be a stimulant, it actually works to help you with anxiety. According to the University of Maryland Medical Center ‘Studies of people with generalized anxiety disorder show that passionflower is as effective as the drug oxazepam (Serax) for treating symptoms.’ The passionflower extract did not work as quickly as the medicine, however, patients who took the medicine had more difficulty with normal job performance die to the side effects of the prescription medicine than those who took the passionflower herbal remedy.

5 Ways To Shine Light On The Darkness

A brief glance at the news gives us so many examples of darkness in our world. It’s time for us to make a difference, shine a light and bring healing when it is most needed. It’s also time for you to shine your own light, and take these tips with you wherever you go…

5 Ways To Shine Light on The Darkness

Darkness is an absence of light, so being a bringer of light is a way to improve a world where pain and hurt happen too often. Using our own conscious minds to help bring a positive change, especially when negative events have saturated the media, is a skill that we encourage others to learn and spread. Let’s look at 5 ways to help shine a light on the darkness that we see far too often.

1. Use your meditative time to send healing energy

When you meditate, you reap the benefits of reduced levels of stress, emotional well-being, healing your relationships with others, and a healthier body among other benefits. Even without consciously focusing your energy toward healing others during your meditation, you are able to create a positive change in the dark times that heals others as well as yourself.

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An English study found that when as little as 1% of the population practiced Transcendental Meditation, the crime rate dropped, which shows that our consciousness can influence positive social change and bring light to the darkness. Researchers are not sure of the mechanisms of this effect, but the Global Peace Project says that ‘consciousness, at its deepest level, is a field that underlies and connects individuals throughout society.’

2. Be an example of positive change

‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’ – Mahatma Gandhi

Don’t wait for someone to fix things when you are capable of making a positive change yourself. The impact of a kind word to a stranger can be enormous if that person is dealing with the depression of not knowing that they are loved and valued. If you want to see a world filled with kindhearted, caring people, be a kindhearted caring person yourself.

3. Teach others how to be a lightworker

Lightworkers are healers who are called to help people fight off the darkness that can settle into our souls and infect our minds and bodies. When we feel a significant period of darkness, it can also distort our perceptions and make us see negativity where there is none.

If you have learned to heal your own hurt, show others how you were able to do so and guide them through the steps to release the anger, hurt, sadness, or frustration that they feel. Encourage them to find their own way of self-healing by reminding them of the resources available for replenishing their souls.

Here are some examples of lightworker healing methods:

* Spiritual connection through prayer, reading, or community groups

* Meditation

* Spending quiet time in nature

* Making meaningful connections to people

* Providing a safe space to talk openly about feelings

* Asking thought-provoking questions

* Avoiding language that is negative, belittling, judging, or blaming

* Reminding people of their inner courage

* Loving touch like a hug, an arm around the shoulder, or a hand squeeze

* Sincere words backed by real emotion

Related article: 6 Signs You’re Here To Be A Healer

4. Practice loving forgiveness

Forgiveness is a way of healing ourselves emotionally and shining light on our own darkness. When we hurt, we may feel that someone has hurt us. The only way to truly heal is to let go of the anger and sadness that we feel and replace it with a positive emotion like self-love.

Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation, which means that we heal by re-establishing a relationship with the person who has caused us hurt. Also, by forgiving the person who has caused so much pain we certainly aren’t condoning the hurtful behavior that has caused so much darkness in our lives.

Related article: 101 Ways To Make Others Feel Blessed

Researchers looked how incest survivors are able to heal themselves and move on after such a terribly abusive life experience. They found that a program of forgiveness therapy helped people recover from trauma. The participants in the therapy program had higher ratings for levels of forgiveness and hope, and had lower levels of anxiety and depression. The program participants also reported having higher self-esteem as a result of forgiving their abuser.

green light therapy5. Share your story of positive change, perseverance, and courage

Everyone has a story of a difficult time that they have overcome that has helped them to get where they are. These stories are the inspiring ones that we read that fill us with hope. You probably have a story of your own to share that can inspire others who are dealing with a difficult loss, a broken relationship or a financial hardship.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

9 Comebacks For Dealing With A Sociopath

Sociopaths are a type of anti-social personality disorder, according to the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

Sociopaths tend to be charming, likable, highly manipulative individuals, yet struggle to form emotional bonds with others. They lack empathy and remorse for their actions, and because of this, they will often lie, even about trivial things.

Sociopaths tend to be egocentric and feel superior to others. They want to be the center of attention and admiration.

They’ll cause drama where there is none to watch the fireworks. They will use other people to entertain themselves or to further their agenda. The best way to deal with these emotionally draining sociopaths is to cut them out of your life or ignore them. However, if you have one in your life that you cannot get rid of because you are a parent, child, coworker, or boss, you should know how to deal with them effectively with these nine comebacks.

What Is a Sociopath?

Sociopaths and psychopaths both suffer from antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Having this mental disorder doesn’t always lead to criminal activity, but it does raise the risk of engaging in illegal activities. Studies estimate that most crimes involve individuals suffering from some form of ASPD. Along with a disregard for laws and social norms, a sociopath lacks empathy for others and can’t relate to human emotions.

They also have difficulty maintaining responsibilities such as a career, family life, and school work. Most people who have ASPD will exhibit deviant behavior before fifteen.

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7 Red Flags That Reveal a Sociopath

Mental health professionals don’t diagnose someone as a sociopath since the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) doesn’t recognize it. Instead, the psychologist would diagnose the patient with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), including psychopathy. In general, people with these conditions have a pattern of disregard for the safety and well-being of themselves and others.

Signs and symptoms of ASPD include the following:

1.     They Have No Empathy For Others.

Sociopaths don’t have the capability of feeling empathy or compassion for others. They may even laugh or smile when they see or hear about someone in pain or distress. Sadly, a sociopath only views people as chess pieces to move around to get what they want.

They might have learned this maladaptive behavior during childhood if their parents neglected or abused them. If they felt like no one would take care of them, the sociopath learned to distrust others from a young age.

So, they may seem cold and callous because they had no choice but to survive. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but many studies show a strong link between childhood trauma and sociopathy.

2.     A Sociopath Manipulates People For Their Benefit.

As we said in the first point, sociopaths can’t have normal relationships with others because they view them as a means to an end. They’re incapable of having healthy, stable bonds with people since they learned from a young age to fend for themselves. The sociopath still lives in survival mode, acting out of fear and instincts to obtain what they need.

They may act charming and cunning to reel people in at first. Before the victim knows it, they’re wrapped up in the sociopath’s game of deceit and manipulation. Sociopaths have learned how to mimic appropriate, accepted social cues to get close to others. However, the relationship remains one-sided since they’re only “playing nice” until they get what they need. They only show their true colors after the damage is done.

3.     They’re Impulsive and Have Difficulty Planning for the Future.

Sociopaths have no impulse control since they’re stuck in survival mode. They act without considering the consequences first, leading to poor decision-making. For instance, instead of holding down a job to pay the bills, they may rob a bank or engage in other illegal activities to make ends meet. Their impulsive behaviors don’t just involve money; they may also suffer from substance abuse, gambling addictions, and other problems.

The future isn’t even worth considering since survival depends on what they do in the present. In other words, they can’t plan for the future when it seems uncertain due to their tendencies and learned behaviors.

4.     Sociopaths Are Known For Being Aggressive and Even Violent.

Sociopaths must maintain control of people and situations at all times. They may lash out and act aggressively toward others when they feel like losing the upper hand. This could involve verbal or emotional abuse and may escalate into physically harming others.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, sociopaths are the most dangerous criminal because they are obsessed with self-gratification. Many habitual criminals, such as rapists and murderers, lack remorse and a need for instant gratification. Experts estimate that sociopaths comprise about 35% of the prison population and are responsible for 80-90% of all crimes.

5.     They Show No Guilt or Remorse For Their Actions.

Sociopaths don’t live by the same laws as everyone else, so they will never admit wrongdoing. They always justify their actions somehow and have no empathy for the pain they cause. They don’t feel normal human emotions such as shame or guilt, so they cannot feel remorse.

6.     They’re Arrogant and Argumentative.

To manipulate people, they have to come across as arrogant, intelligent, and superior to others. It becomes easy to gain their trust if they can project this self-confidence when talking to people. They have no problem sharing their opinions and often debate with others about politics, finance, and other topics. They’re brilliant and know a little about everything to keep their facade going.

7.     Sociopaths Ignore Social Norms and Laws.

As we said earlier, a sociopath will have no regard for the law or societal norms. Since they don’t play by the standard rules of life, they do not need to follow artificial guidelines and regulations. They’re often involved in illegal activities and may break the rules at school or work. Stalking, harassment, destruction of property, stealing, and ignoring social boundaries are just ways they defy the justice system.

9 Comebacks for Dealing with a Sociopath

Here are some phrases that will stop a sociopath in their tracks.

1. “No.”

Whenever a sociopath tries to manipulate you to do something for them, say “No.” You don’t need to justify or explain yourself; say no and walk away.

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2. “I’m doing great, thanks.”

Sociopaths will try to find your weaknesses to exploit your emotional states for their ends and will often ask you how you are doing or say that you look worried, upset, or tired. So unless a close friend or family member asks the question, don’t give the person an opening.

3. “I don’t believe you.”

A sociopath may come to you with gossip about a friend, spouse, or co-worker, but there is an excellent chance that what they are saying is not valid. They are trying to manipulate you and the other person for their advantage.

4. “Hey, did you see the latest episode of ____.”

Try to keep conversations with sociopaths to neutral subjects like television, news, music, and sports. Don’t be drawn into revealing personal information about you or your family or difficulties at work or home. Sociopaths feed on drama, so don’t give anything to sustain them, and they will lose interest.

5. “I bought it at a thrift store.”

Sociopaths with use flattery and compliments to ingratiate themselves with you. Defuse their insincerity by blowing off whatever they compliment as trivial or mundane.

6. “No, thank you, I’m good.”

Sociopaths will try to offer you things or do things for you to put you in their debt. Don’t let them. Once they have that handle, they will manipulate you into doing things for them.

7. “I got that new job weeks ago.”

If you plan to change like getting a new job, moving into another house, or starting a new relationship, don’t let a sociopath know until after the fact. A sociopath will try to dissuade you from changing things to keep you under their thumb and control. They will seek to undermine your efforts to better yourself or distance yourself from them, so don’t let them know your plans until after you have fulfilled them.

8. “Could you repeat that? Just speak directly into the microphone.”

Sociopaths will often harass you to get their way. Belittling you, putting you down, or giving you a hard time are all ways to beat you down emotionally and make you easier to manipulate. They will likely find an easier target if you show that you are documenting their bad behavior.

9. “Sorry, I’m broke.”

Sociopaths will try to use you for your money or connections to fulfill their desires for wealth or power. They will lose interest if you communicate to them that you have neither wealth nor power to exploit.

We are spirits having a human experience. There are all types of people in the world. You don’t have to participate in every argument and toxic experience. You get to decide how you act, react and teach others.

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Final Thoughts on Stopping a Sociopath From Getting Under Your Skin

Sociopaths aren’t easy to get along with, but it’s important to remember that they have a mental disorder. Many aren’t even aware of their actions and how they affect others. However, sociopaths can become dangerous in certain situations, so it’s best to avoid them. If you can’t ignore them entirely, you can still set firm boundaries and disengage during conversations where you feel uncomfortable.

Sociopaths need help for their disorders, just like anyone with mental health. If left untreated, they can become a danger to themselves and society. Hopefully, we’ll continue expanding our knowledge on this condition so that they can receive the proper treatments.

5 Things To Never Expect From A Narcissist

A narcissistic personality disorder is a severe mental condition that’s part of the cluster B personality disorder. It affects approximately 1% of the population in diagnosed cases alone. And the chances are great that you’ve met many more undiagnosed narcissists in your lifetime.

While it’s important to note that those with narcissistic personality disorder are not inherently bad or cruel, you still need to be aware of the risks. Many who are unaware that they have the condition or are on its spectrum do not seek out therapy and, as such, do not realize the extent of their behaviors. Thus, they cannot correct them.

conversational narcissist

This is why it is so vital to remain vigilant when dealing with narcissists who cannot manage their disorder. No mental illness excuses negative behavior, and you are not responsible for their actions just because they have a problem.

It’s hard to come out from under the clutches of a narcissist. However, always practice positive thinking! By being aware of these five things to never expect from a narcissist, you’re arming yourself against their potential toxicity while also saving yourself lots of heartaches.

Narcissists are only concerned with themselves.

If you’ve ever had interactions with a narcissist, then you know just how difficult they can be. Unfortunately, more often than not, their personalities have been shaped due to unhealed trauma and they haven’t recognized and healed it yet. This isn’t an excuse for their behavior, but it is important to know what you can expect from them so you aren’t the one always disappointed.

Understanding them can be both exhausting and intolerable. There is hope that some of their behaviors can be healed with recognition and willingness to seek help. However, you should know up front that there are specific behaviors that may always stick around.

narcissist

Most of the time, they are egotistical and self-absorbed. They manipulate situations and people to their benefit. Be wary of anything that comes from them, because ultimately it’s about the grandiose perception until they recognize this and heal.

“You can look at individual scores of narcissism, you can look at data on lifetime prevalence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you can look at related cultural trends, and they all point to one thing,” says W. Keith Campbell, PhD, head of the University of Georgia psychology department. “Narcissism is on the rise.”

We all know someone who is egotistical and selfish. But, what can you expect from them with these sorts of behavior?

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Here are 5 things to never expect from a narcissist:

1. Never expect empathy and compassion.

Unless you are going to be giving them something in return, don’t expect sympathy. The narcissist is incapable of compassion because it would require them to get out of their own needs. It’s all about “what can I get from you?” If something doesn’t concern them, they have little interest. Your mother could be in the hospital and if you ask them for help, they will avoid you unless they can get something for helping. And, if they are empathetic, it will be for showing others what they did. They are missing an empathy and compassion gene. Most narcissists lack self-insight. In their own lack of worth, they dispose of their destructive behavior onto others.

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2. Never expect them to listen.

Narcissists are not great at listening to anyone’s problems. They will listen when they need something from you, utilizing your weaknesses or traumas to get what they want. These folks are not the ones you go to in order to vent. They will hear you but never pay attention. If the conversation is not about them, then they have no use for your words. And even then, they will only hear what pertains to their greatness. Dr. Leon F. Seltzer writes in Psychology Today:

“It’s been said about narcissists that they can’t tell where they end and the other person begins. Unconsciously viewing others as “extensions” of themselves, they regard them as existing primarily to serve their own needs—just as they routinely put their needs before everyone else’s (frequently, even their own children). Since others are regarded (if they’re regarded at all!) as what in the literature is often called “narcissistic supplies”—that is, existing chiefly to cater to their personal desires—they generally don’t think about others independently of how they might “use” them to their own advantage. Whatever narcissists seek to give themselves, they generally expect to get from others, too (which is yet another dimension of their famous—or infamous —sense of entitlement).”

conversational narcissist

3. Never expect anything for free.

When a narcissist does you a favor, he/she will reclaim it quickly. They keep tally on all that they do for others. Unless they can get something out of you, don’t expect them to do it out of the kindness of their hearts. If it doesn’t benefit them, there is no point in doing anything for you. Don’t expect generosity without signing your soul to the devil. The narcissist will lie and cheat to get what they desire for their own benefit. So, if they are doing something for you, except that it’s all about them.

4. Never expect an apology.

A narcissist does no wrong. If something goes wrong, it wasn’t their fault. They have no problem turning that against you. You can’t expect them to feel sorry for anything because they are perfect. Any misunderstandings are all on you. They couldn’t possibly have done anything to upset you. Narcissistic people are bullies, and they have no problem turning things around to hurt others rather than take responsibility for their actions. The narcissist is self-righteous. They are entitled and deserving of anything, therefore, they are never in the wrong.

fill your heart

5. Never expect gratitude.

The egotistical person will never share the things you have done for them, only those things that you haven’t done. They focus on the negative and the things that are missing at the moment. Do not expect gratitude…ever. They are incapable of taking attention off of themselves. However, they will claim and retell all that they have done for you without a problem and expect gratitude. Dr. Pavel G. Somov writes that “As a narcissist, perhaps the only way for you to feel special is to command special treatment, to insist on unquestioning compliance with your wishes from others, to demand nothing less than perfection from others.”

Narcissists cannot give of themselves for the sake of giving without expecting recognition, admiration and appreciation. They are manipulators of time and effort. They bulldoze through people and their emotional needs for their benefit. Perhaps the most frustrating thing about narcissistic personality disorder is that it’s difficult to treat with therapy, as clients are unwilling to see they have an issue. In relationships of any kind, it’s even more difficult to acknowledge since the narcissist doesn’t see a problem with themselves. The best way to deal with a narcissist is to have no expectations.

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