Inspiration to your inbox

How To Solve The Happiness Equation

How To Solve The Happiness Equation

It really is true that scientists have discovered a happiness equation, and they describe all of the factors that have been used to accurately predict whether or not you will be happy.

Happiness has been explained as achievable by focusing on having a positive attitude, expressing gratitude, being generous, and a number of other pieces including love and social support, but how can we use this information to find the right balance of happiness in our lives?

We will look at all of the pieces that make up the scientific happiness equation and how you can use this information to solve your own happiness.

How to Solve The Happiness Equation

The study, conducted by University College London and published in Nature Communications, says this new Happiness Equation shows us how our happiness depends not only on what happens to us but also how our situation compares to other people. Researchers feel confident about the formula because they showed that they could use it to predict levels of happiness in study participants based on these factors.

The Role of Trials in the Happiness Equation

In the Happiness Equation, our faulty memory plays an important part. Researchers call life events ‘trials’ and they say that more recent trials are weighted more heavily by the Happiness Equation that plays out in our brains. Past trials are more easily forgotten and so our bias is toward more recent events that are present in our memories.

There is no right or wrong to our faulty logic and the fact that we give more importance to recent events than past events, but knowing this can help us to pause to evaluate our prior experience with similar situations. If something pleasurable just happened, we tend to want more of it right away, rather than more of something that made us happy in the past.

Gambling on Happiness

In the Happiness Equation, as in life, we take chances where we don’t know what the payoff will be. For example, by choosing to going to college, we make an investment and hope that we will have a good-paying job as a result, but it is not a guarantee.

The researchers say that how part of the Happiness Equation is how we feel about the reward that we get based on the gamble or risk that we took to get it. If it was a big risk, with a big reward, we feel fantastic. If it was a small risk with a smaller reward, we feel less happy. Your expectation makes a difference in your resulting happiness.

The One Variable In the Happiness Equation

In our previous article ‘10 Ways To Increase The Dopamine In Your Brain,’ we talked about how this important brain chemical is key in your brain’s pleasure and reward center. If your brain is getting plenty of dopamine, your brain is happy too.

Some people are just naturally higher in the neurotransmitter dopamine than others, which is why this one variable is uncontrollable from person to person in research studies.

In the Happiness Equation, dopamine level is a variable associated in previous neurological research, and your own baseline level of this happiness neurotransmitter may be higher than another person’s. Dopamine controls your desire or ‘liking’ of something and also your willingness to pursue it or ‘wanting.’ Getting something you want equates to pleasure and lots of dopamine.

What Do Guilt and Envy Have To Do With the Happiness Equation?

In the Happiness Equation solution, the part you play in solving it depends on your natural level of social comparison. How often do you compare what you have to what others have?

Guilt is what we feel when there is an inequality of reward received compared to another person. In other words, you have more than someone else has, and the inequality makes you feel guilt.

Envy is what we feel when we are missing out on a reward that the other person received. In comparison to the other person, we have less and we are envious.

Expectations and Comparison in the Happiness Equation

Solving the Happiness Equation comes down to your expectations and comparisons to others. If you expect more than you get, you will be less happy. If you compare what you get to what others got, you will be less happy.

One key finding from this research shows that we are unhappy in any situation where our peers, or even people who we just met, are treated unequally, whether they get more or less than we do.

Comparison is something that we do as social creatures because we interact with others often. In another study of happiness, researchers say ‘Humans are intensely social, and data indicate that one of the most important factors for happiness is social relationships with other people. Social pleasures may still include vital sensory features such as visual faces, touch features of grooming and caress, as well as in humans more abstract and cognitive features of social reward and relationship evaluation.’ When we evaluate our relationship to others, we engage in comparison by asking if things are equitable between us.

7 Signs You’ve Met Someone From A Past Life

Have you ever met someone with whom you had an instant connection, and you just intuitively felt that you had met them somewhere, somehow, before Could they have been from a past life experience?

If you’ve experienced this feeling before, then you have likely met someone from a past life who you have run into once again on your current journey.

You might not immediately think “Hey, I knew them from a past life” when you meet them, but you just know that their soul and yours have crossed paths at some point in time before. You might not have even believed in reincarnation or past lives before this experience, but something so powerful and intense can easily open your mind to other possibilities.

Meeting someone from a past life usually feels amazing, but sometimes, bad memories or feelings could come up due to your past relationship together. Just be mindful of how you feel, and trust your intuition. Not all relationships last forever, and some of them teach us painful lessons. However, if you’ve met someone in a past life, it likely means you have unfinished business with them here on Earth.

Here are 7 signs you’ve met someone from a past life:

past life

1. They may be from a past life if you feel at home when you look in their eyes.

You finally feel as though someone understands you. You don’t feel judged or uncomfortable in their presence. Besides that, it feels like looking into their eyes is like looking into your own. You feel one and the same with them like you have connected with someone who knows your soul to the core.

Meeting them feels like coming home, and you could talk with them for hours on end. Contrarily, you could sit in silence for a long time and not feel awkward, like you have to fill the empty space. You can be totally yourself, and they just get you. The relationship with them feels easy, not strained or forced.

2. You feel overwhelming emotions upon meeting.

The person you meet draws up a wellspring of emotions within you. You can’t place it exactly. But something about the encounter felt incredibly powerful and life-changing. You feel you haven’t seen them in ages and have suddenly crossed paths in such a surprising way.

You probably didn’t even know the person lived in your area, or maybe you met on travels to a foreign place.

Whatever way you meet them, you know it’s more than just a coincidence. You might cry, laugh, or fall into a warm embrace when you see them because you just can’t hold back your emotions. This person means a lot to you in your heart, so seeing them again for the first time in months or years will inevitably stir up some powerful feelings.

3. They may be from a past life if you have plenty of memories with them.

You don’t know how or why… But you both share memories of past lives together. You might recall living in the same place, having the same occupation, or crossing paths along travels in a foreign country.

You just intuitively know and remember these things, and the memories have carried over into all the lives you have shared with this person.

4. You can read the other person like a book.

Even if you don’t say it, this person can read your mind. They know your thoughts and emotions without you having to explain, which makes having a relationship with this person feel easy, for once.

Nothing feels strained, and you can read them just as easily as they can you. You both have a telepathic connection and cherish it greatly.

5. They may be from a past life if time means nothing in their company.

You sort of forget about the reality around them – time doesn’t mean anything when you have them at your side. Upon meeting them again, you two might spontaneously decide to catch up, and before you know it, five hours have passed. You feel so in tune and engaged with them that you easily lose track of time, space, and all of reality.

6. You have a strong connection even when you’re apart.

Even if you didn’t know it at the time, you and this person have probably communicated before. You may have gotten powerful messages before that seemed to enter your consciousness out of the blue – this could have been someone trying to contact you telepathically.

Maybe you see the same numbers on the clock day after day, which also means the universe needs to deliver you a message. Signs appear when you least expect them, and could point to a past life connection with someone special.

past life

7. You click instantly.

You may have felt misunderstood and alone for the majority of your life. But meeting them erases all of those painful memories. You have an unbreakable bond with them that feels more powerful than anything you’ve felt before, and you can talk and be with them effortlessly.

Psychic Michele Knight says about past life connections: “We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve met someone new but have this immediate and deep connection – sometimes to the point of being able to anticipate what they are going to say next – or feeling as if they’ve been in our life forever.

Often this can mean they have been in a spiritual sense as this kind of ‘instant karma’ we feel with certain people is exactly that. A karmic, past life connection and the level of comfort and feeling we already ‘know’ someone is merely our shared history catching up with us and playing out in this lifetime.”

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Signs Anxiety Is Hurting Your Relationship

More people than ever before seem to have some type of anxiety disorder, and while no one wants to have this illness, it can wreak havoc on even the strongest of relationships…

Many studies have been done on anxiety and what causes it, but despite all of this research, more people live with anxiety than ever before. Unfortunately, many people in the U.S. and worldwide suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder. In the U.S. alone, approximately 18.1% of people age 18 and older have anxiety, which equates to about 40 million people. 

No one should have to deal with anxiety on their own, of course, but getting into a relationship with someone new can come with a lot of roadblocks unless they show willingness to understand what you go through daily. You shouldn’t have to hide your anxiety in order to stay in a relationship, and you will have to decide on your own who will stay in your life based on their willingness to understand your point of view and mental state.

Anxiety can overtake your whole life and make any sort of decision or event difficult, but having a partner that understands will help the relationship go much more smoothly and make you happier long-term in the partnership.

Here are 5 signs anxiety is hurting your relationship:

1. You constantly worry about your relationship ending

Worrying about the demise of your relationship can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you worry about what you DON’T want to happen, the more you invite it into your life by putting your energy into it. Your partner will start to notice this behavior if you appear more clingy than normal, or become possessive or jealous. While you can’t always control your anxiety, you should make it a point to voice your concerns rather than letting them stew and grow into something unmanageable. Many times, your worries will probably go away once you express them to your partner, as they can help alleviate your stress and make you realize that your relationship is actually going well.

Many people with anxiety tend to overreact and blow things out of proportion simply because they feel things more deeply. Make sure to keep the lines of communication open with your partner so he or she can help you when your thoughts get the best of you.

2. You cling to your partner

Clinging to your partner will only make him or her become more distant. Think about it – if you smother a plant with too much water, it will eventually kill it. In the same way, if you smother a relationship with too much love, affection, and attention, you will give it no room to breathe. Your partner needs his or her space just as much as you need yours, so try to avoid suffocating the relationship. Even if you have insecurities, clinging to your partner will only end the relationship faster than you expected.

3. You wonder if your partner would be happier without you

Wondering about whether or not your partner would feel happier without you will only make your relationship miserable. Obviously your partner chose you for a reason, so remember this the next time you feel anxious about your relationship.

4. You rely on your partner to do the things that make you anxious

Relying on your partner to make a phone call to the doctor or go to the store to pick up a few things will only exacerbate and prolong your anxiety. While it might seem easy to run to your partner when you feel anxious and get them to pick up the slack, you can’t keep doing this forever – eventually, your partner will get burnt out. While they can help you with some things, you shouldn’t count on them for everything. Doing the things that give you anxiety will help you to overcome it, anyway.

Related article: 5 Signs Your Partner Has Hidden Anxiety

5. You restrict the things you do based on your anxiety

Another relationship killer is putting boundaries on what you can and can’t do with your partner. Maybe they want to try a new restaurant or go on a whitewater rafting trip, but you allow your anxiety to get in the way. A surefire way to hurt your relationship is to always turn down your partner’s ideas in favor of doing things that feel “safe” to you, such as staying in and watching Netflix, ordering takeout and following your normal routine. While you shouldn’t bend over backwards to please your partner, try to compromise and get out of your comfort zone sometimes in order to keep the relationship balanced and happy.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Learning This ONE Skill Can Save Your Relationship

Hopefully you aren’t reading this as your partner is about to walk out the door, because mastering this one skill that can save your relationship can take a little practice, but the result is worth your time.

With just a little time and effort, you can learn and master this one skill and your relationship will be much better for it.

Learning This ONE Skill Can Save Your Relationship

Relationships are so dependent on excellent communication between the two people who make up the partnership. Any work that you can devote to improving both how well you communicate your own thoughts and also how well you listen to your partner is well worth the time.

This one skill that can save your relationship is simple, but effective and it involves your ability to recognize the moments when you are most likely to completely blow it with your partner, which is when you are frustrated.

When you are frustrated, your words come from a place of anger and a lack of control and they can be fatal to your relationship. Angry words spoken are very difficult to put back in your mouth and they can cause suffering in the person you love most. Preventing the angry words from coming out at all is best for your relationship.

In the moment where you recognize your frustrated emotional state, try your best to pause before responding to your partner. Think about the impact that your words will have on your partner. If you have the emotion of frustration in your voice as you speak, it is interpreted as anger being directed toward your partner.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

According to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, ’emotional intelligence is related to mating intelligence, which refers to the abilities to understand a potential mate’s emotional expressions, intentions, and preferences and to modulate and express one’s own emotions effectively.’

Can you tell how your partner is feeling by just looking at their body language? If they are frustrated, using hurtful words will only make things worse. If you know your partner well, picking up on their emotion can tell you how they would want you to respond to them. For example, maybe they would really benefit from a hug right now.

Emotional intelligence can affect your relationship quality and happiness. Researchers studying emotional intelligence and relationship satisfaction find that being able to detect your partner’s emotional state is associated with trust, dependability and your partner’s faith in you as a supportive mate.

Ideally, both partners would be sensitive to their mate’s feelings and change their responses to help support their partner. If only one of you is doing this for the other, the one who isn’t getting support may feel resentful that you aren’t making an effort.

Mastery of your tongue, awareness of your own emotions as well as your partner’s, and perspective on the relationship in the big picture are all important, but controlling your words is the most important to avoid hurting your partner.

When You’re More Likely To Hurt Your Relationship

Emotional moments make up the vivid and intense memories that we have, from the happy one of falling in love, to the genuine frustrations that seem to ruin a good day. When your emotions are running high, this is the time that you are more likely to do something that will hurt your relationship.

Recognizing emotional moments and being able to pause before responding to your partner, as you consider the impact that your words can have on the bigger picture of the relationship is a key skill. When you are angry, hurt, tired, worried, or not feeling good, you are more likely to respond with hurtful words, because you yourself are hurting in some way.

Related article: 5 Words To Avoid Saying In Your Relationship

The ONE Skill That Can Save Relationships

This one skill can save your non-romantic relationships too. The perspective skill is useful for managing your work relationships and friendship relationships as well. If you can master the ability to pause before speaking to take in the full view of your past, present, and future with the person you are dealing with, you will be likely to respond differently than you would while your emotions are fueling your words.

Related article: 5 Signs Your Partner Is Falling Out Of Love

We can sum up this one skill by saying it is equivalent to saying ‘Look before you speak’ in the sense that you look at the big picture of your life before making a mistake with your words.

Being able to use this moment before you speak to get perspective, clarity, and awareness of your own tendencies and treat your partner gently is a valuable skill that is as good as having eternal patience.

This is not a coddling of your partner, it is more a total personal awareness and mastery of your emotions and how you express them as well as having a sensitivity to your partner’s needs. Partners who are able to meet each others needs are more likely to want to stay together longer, which helps save your relationship from a breakup.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Drink Water Every Day For 30 Days

Many of us don’t think twice about how much water we drink per day. But we ought to pay more mind to this very important element. We are composed of 50-75% water and need to drink a half ounce to an ounce for every pound we weigh.

Despite that, a shocking 75% of Americans suffer from chronic dehydration, according to a report by CBS. Other reports say that 25% of kids and teenagers don’t drink ANY water as part of their daily fluid intake, another shocking statistic.

Unfortunately, many people grab something quick and easy while they go about their daily routine, and prefer a sugary drink such as a soda or syrupy coffee drink to boost their energy. These drinks do nothing for our bodies nutritionally, yet so many people around the world choose these over water as their preferred beverages. By drinking only water, however, you can improve your health dramatically, and may even shed a few pounds in the process!

According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, drinking 17 ounces of water increases metabolism by 30% in both healthy men and women. Their metabolism peaked thirty to forty minutes after the subjects consumed the water.

We found yet another study to prove that drinking water can help to reverse health problems and trim down the waistline. Researchers from the University of Birmingham in the United Kingdom conducted a 12-week experiment in which they coached 84 obese adults on weight loss and placed them in one of two groups. The first group drank 16 ounces of water 30 minutes before their meals, while the second group simply imagined feeling full after their meal. The result? The first group ended up losing three pounds more than the second.

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Drink Water Every Day For 30 Days

In addition to losing weight, you can enjoy many other benefits from drinking more water a day. We’ll discuss some of these benefits below.

water

1. Your skin will feel more hydrated.

One of the biggest signs you’re dehydrated appears on your skin, believe it or not. By drinking more water, your body will have a chance to eliminate toxins, which will result in brighter, clearer looking skin. Not drinking enough water results in dry, parched-looking skin, because the toxins build up over time, causing us to look older and more fatigued.

2. You will have less joint pain.

Since your body’s cartilage is composed of nearly 80% water, replenishing hydration lost through sweat will keep your bones and joints functioning properly. Water keeps joints lubricated in order to protect the body during strenuous activities or unexpected movement, such as falling or tripping. So, if you have joint pain, drinking only water for thirty days can help with this troubling issue.

3. You’ll have more energy.

Water brings oxygen into the body. The more oxygenated your cells, the more alive you will feel. However, if you don’t drink enough water, your body relies on your blood to obtain oxygen, which therefore will make you feel more sluggish and lethargic. So, drinking more water will increase your vitality.

4. You will get to know your hunger cues better.

Hunger and thirst cues come from the same part of the brain, which may explain why so many people overeat since we haven’t really been taught how to differentiate these signals. As you up your water intake, you will likely notice that you have a decreased appetite, since water fills up your stomach and nourishes your cells just like food does. However, if you still feel hungry after drinking adequate water, then you know you need a bite to eat, as well.

5. You’ll have lower blood pressure.

Dehydration causes the blood to become thicker, resulting in slower blood flow and higher sodium content in the blood. However, hydration, on the other hand, allows the blood to flow more quickly, which lessens your chances of having high blood pressure.

6. And lower cholesterol.

Being dehydrated means that your body will hold onto any water it can find so you don’t lose even more. In this study, fifteen people completed a fast under two different circumstances: once without fluid replacement, and another with salt and water supplementation. The researchers found that when the participants fasted with no fluids, their total serum cholesterol levels were much higher than when they had a saltwater supplement. While most people still drink water during a fast, drinking sugary, nutrient-lacking drinks in place of water throughout the day can cause dehydration, and therefore, higher cholesterol levels.

7. Your digestion will improve.

Water helps to move things through our digestive system and cleanse the colon, but without enough water, the body doesn’t digest food very smoothly, leading to digestive problems. When the body is lacking fluids, the large intestine soaks up the water from the foods you eat. This increases the likelihood of constipation, acid reflux, ulcers, and other digestive issues.

water

8. Your headaches will disappear.

Dehydration actually causes our brain tissue to lose water, resulting in the brain shrinking and pulling away from the skull. In turn, this sends alarms to the pain receptors surrounding the brain, which gives you that nasty midday headache. Being dehydrated decreases blood volume, which means less blood and oxygen will flow to the brain. The blood vessels in the brain dilate to keep the blood flowing. As a result, people experience inflammation and a pounding headache. Unfortunately, too many people are too familiar with this. So, by drinking more water, you will experience less headaches, and therefore, have greater mental clarity.

8 Signs You’re In A Codependent Relationship

You may have never considered yourself to be in a codependent relationship. Still, if any of these eight warning signs are present in your relationship, you may be in for a rude awakening. There are steps that you can take to break the cycle of codependency. But first, you need to be able to recognize it in your relationship.

What Is a Codependent Relationship?

A codependent relationship is a dynamic in which two people become mutually dependent on each other in unhealthy ways. Typically, one partner in the relationship is the enabler, while the other is dependent. The enabler may feel responsible for taking care of the dependent and may prioritize their needs over their own, while the dependent may rely heavily on the enabler for emotional support, validation, and a sense of identity.

Codependent relationships can be found in any type of relationship, including romantic partnerships, family relationships, and friendships. In these relationships, both partners may struggle with boundary issues and have difficulty differentiating between their own needs and the needs of the other person. This can lead to an unhealthy cycle of dependency and enablement that can be difficult to break.

Some common signs of a codependent relationship include an inability to make decisions without the input or approval of the other person, a sense of responsibility for the other person’s emotions, an inability to set healthy boundaries, and a tendency to prioritize the other person’s needs over one’s own. In some cases, codependent relationships may also involve enabling behaviors such as substance abuse, financial support, or emotional manipulation.

Codependent relationships can severely impact the individuals involved, including emotional and psychological distress, a loss of sense of self, and a lack of healthy personal relationships. Additionally, codependent relationships can be challenging to break out of, and individuals may require therapy or other forms of support to learn healthy relationship skills and establish healthy boundaries.

Ultimately, codependent relationships are about an unhealthy dynamic of mutual dependency, where the needs and wants of one partner are prioritized over the others. Breaking out of this cycle often requires acknowledging and addressing the underlying issues contributing to codependency, including low self-esteem, boundary issues, and a need for control or validation. By addressing these issues, individuals can develop healthy relationship skills and establish healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

8 Warning Signs That You’re In A Codependent Relationship

codependent relationship

Researchers examining codependency say that codependency has been defined as an addiction, the cause of an addiction, or the result of someone else’s addiction.

Codependent adults frequently start out as codependent children who had to grow up quickly when one or more parents needed parenting themselves. Now as an adult, they repeat the same negative pattern of trying to take care of others at the expense of themselves.

1. You think you can help your partner to change

Even though you have not successfully gotten your partner to change in the past, you keep trying. You feel certain you could be happy if only they would listen. People in a codependent relationship try to fix each other’s negative behavior rather than changing their own destructive habits.

Researchers studying codependent relationships find that feelings of shame, low self-esteem, and having to be a parent to your own parent at a young age were all correlated with an adult codependent relationship. The researchers believe that therapy to heal the self-image will help people to heal from codependent relationships.

2. You say ‘Yes’ when you really mean ‘No,’ and then feel resentful about it

Caving in to your partner’s demands in an attempt to ‘make them happy’ is unproductive and hurts your own personal integrity. Pay attention to your own needs first and make sure that they are being met first. To break the cycle of a codependent relationship, you must learn to fulfill your own needs without your partner’s help.

3. You have so much love to give, but your partner seems to reject it

Giving until it hurts is your motto when you’re in a codependent relationship. You shower your partner with love and support. You might also help them with financial and emotional problems, but they don’t seem to be able to heal themselves in spite of your love.

4. Your partner’s mood affects your own mood

You are too sensitive to your partner’s mood and needs, but what about your own? You can’t change how they feel, but you can change your own emotional state and how you respond to their negative mood.

13529136_10153609604887371_2266616924999727981_n

5. You rarely do anything away from your partner

Is it that you don’t trust what they will do apart from you, or do they control your comings and goings? In a codependent relationship, one or both partners seek to control the other person’s behavior. This is not a healthy pattern.

6. You worry about your partner leaving you

Feeling insecure about your relationship is expected in a codependent relationship but not normal in a healthy one. Your partner is always angry at you because you keep asking them to change, and you are frustrated by their lack of change but determined to keep trying. You worry they will reject your help and spiral further into their negative pattern.

7. You fantasize about leaving your partner

Life would be so much easier with someone who would listen to your feedback or who at least wasn’t so angry all of the time. Although these thoughts drift through your head, you are unlikely to do anything to leave your partner. That is the nature of a codependent relationship.

8. Your partner’s behavior is borderline, or over the line, abusive

Do you feel afraid of your partner? Do you feel like they are suspicious of your activities away from them? Or do they accuse you of things you have not done or tell you what you can and can’t do? Do they limit your friendships with others? Are they abusing drugs or alcohol or engaging in other self-abusive behavior?

Children of alcoholics are particularly susceptible to getting into a codependent relationship. Wanting to sacrifice your needs to anyone who is engaging in destructive behavior by protecting them from themselves is a sign that you’re in a codependent relationship.

codependent behavior

Final Thoughts on Your Codependent Relationships and Your Safety

If you have any concerns about your safety in an abusive codependent relationship, get to a safe place and call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or go to their website for resources and help.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Skip to content