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The 10 Golden Rules Of A Relationship

The 10 Golden Rules Of A Relationship

Your relationship is so important to you, and to treat it with the supportive care that it needs to survive over the long term, you need to follow these ten golden rules…

Here Are 10 Golden Rules Every Relationship Needs To Know About

relationship myths

1. Fight fair

You and your partner will argue, but knowing how to fight fairly will be an essential skill to keep your relationship solid through the years. Things will not always be fair, but they should always be respectful of both partner’s needs. If one partner doesn’t get their way now, ensure there are opportunities for them to get their way in the future.

The power balance in a relationship is often not balanced, especially for male and female couples. Researchers found that a relationship where the male partner had more power and dominance was more likely to last long-term. On the other hand, another study found that power imbalances and unequal treatment was a reason that women were more often cited for breakups than men did. Check-in with your partner to see how they feel about the power balance in your relationship.

2. Honesty is really the best policy

Being accused of hiding something from your partner is not a great way to establish trust, which is essential to a good relationship. Do your best to follow this golden rule that every relationship needs to know because the consequences of being less than honest are lonely and painful.

If you are unsure whether to tell your partner about something, ask yourself if they found out another way if they would be upset. Withholding information will likely not win you any points with your partner either. Flat out lying is definitely frowned upon. Trust, once broken, is never quite the same again.

3. Keep the past in the past

Your past, your partner’s past, and any exes should stay there. The same goes for the mental file of your partner’s past bad behavior. Let it go or the weight of that baggage will drag your relationship down.

4. Allow your partner more freedom

No one wants to be caged up, and the more freedom you can allow your partner to have, the greater their appreciation of the wide boundaries that you provide. In a study of breakups and relationship expectations, researchers found that partners who left wished that they had more freedom outside of the relationship.

We are not talking about the freedom to stray, but if you have restricted your partner’s coming and goings, activities, and friends, they are not likely to like being with you. For this golden rule, allow as much freedom for your partner as possible, because you cannot expect to keep someone who is chained to you happy.

5. Give more than you receive

Be as supportive as possible to your partner for this golden rule, or your partner may find the support elsewhere. Be the best friend and companion to your partner as well as a romantic mate.

partner

6. Know your partner well

Provide what your partner likes and needs. Know their love language and give them love in how they like to receive it.

7. Think long-term

Today is not where you will be ten years from now. Where was your partner headed before you met? Did you derail them from reaching their goals? They probably have not forgotten what they dreamed of before they met you, so be supportive of their future goals as well as your own.

8. Be mindful in your relationship

Mindfulness of your emotional state, your partner’s feelings, the significance of this moment in the scope of your relationship. Indeed, each of these deserve our full attention. When we are shielded from experiencing the fullness of our relationship, we miss out on the wonderful moments.

9. Master the art of communication

By communication, we mean listening more than speaking your meaning. The Gottman Institute studied the difference between couples divorced after six years and those who had stayed together. The difference between divorce and happiness was simple; paying attention to your partner when they are interested in something versus ignoring them.

Related article: 10 Things To Never Stop Doing For Your Partner

If your partner is interested in something, they are basically asking you to turn toward them. If you decide to turn away, you deny their request for your attention. Repeated turning away makes your partner feel unloved.

serious relationship

10. Build intimacy outside of sex

Sexual passion is not always an enduring factor in long-term relationships. So this golden rule is important to ensure that your relationship has the power of many intimate moments, shared jokes, joy, laughter, and connectedness that will keep you bonded for life.

6 Signs Of Low Estrogen Levels

Estrogen is one of two vital hormones in women (the other being progesterone). It turns out that this hormone is not only responsible for the normal functioning of a woman’s body, but also for proper mental functioning.

What is estrogen?

Estrogen is the primary hormone that helps a girl develop into an adult woman. This time is known as puberty. After this period of a woman’s life, estrogen helps regulate cholesterol levels, mood, and bone health, among other things.

This hormone is produced in the ovaries, the main estrogen source in a woman’s body. The adrenal glands near the top of the kidney also produce estrogen but in significantly lesser amounts. Estrogen moves through the body via blood circulation and is an acting agent in many body areas.

The female body produces three different types of estrogen hormone: (1) estradiol – the predominant type during childbearing years, (2) estriol – produced during different phases of pregnancy, and (3) estrone – the lone type of estrogen produced after menopause, or when menstrual cycles stop.

The timing of estrogen production is relative to a woman’s monthly menstrual cycle. Estrogen levels peak during the mid-cycle phase, which produces ovulation. Following the ovulation phase, estrogen levels decline sharply. Over the rest of the month, estrogen levels gradually increase and decrease.

estrogen levels

Estrogen abnormalities

Medical professionals are clear about one thing: estrogen levels strongly affect a woman’s mood and emotional well-being. Indeed, women are more susceptible to depression and anxiety during their estrogen-producing years than both men and postmenopausal women. Certain mood-related conditions occur only in women during this phase, which increases the likelihood that a woman will experience emotion-related distress during this phase of their life.

Estrogen plays a role in a variety of medical conditions, including the following: Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), Postpartum Depression, Perimenopausal Depression and Postmenopausal Depression.

Subsequently, a variety of symptoms can arise from abnormal levels of estrogen.

Here are 6 signs you have low estrogen levels (ways to increase them are also below):

Estrogen is an important hormone for women’s health. It affects a woman’s sexual and reproductive development. Your adrenal glands and fat cells create a small amount of estrogen, but your ovaries produce most of the estrogen in your body. So, what are the signs of low estrogen? Here is a list of warning signs that you may have low estrogen.

1. Hot flashes and/or night sweats

Hot flashes and night sweats are two signs of low estrogen. These uncomfortable symptoms make your skin feel like it’s on fire. Hot flashes may cause your face to look flushed. This occurs because the blood is rushing to the surface of your skin. A hot flash can be embarrassing, especially if you’re in public. People may misunderstand your flushed face for blushing.

Hot flashes at night are often called night sweats. Night sweats and hot flashes are very annoying. You may try dressing in layers to remove your sweater or jacket if you get a hot flash. You can also try drinking a glass of ice water to ease the discomfort when you’re having a hot flash. At night, dress in a lightweight nightgown and run an oscillating fan to stay calm.

2. Mood swings

Another symptom of low estrogen is mood swings. You may feel frustrated, anxious, and sad all within a few minutes. The shifting hormone levels can upset your sleep. So you’re feeling tired, which can make you feel even more moody and irritable. Try to cut yourself some slack if you’re feeling especially moody. Go for a walk, take a bath or read a book to relax. Avoid sugary or salty snacks that make you feel puffy and more irritable. Your mood will pass in time, so give yourself a little break in the meantime.

3. Dry skin

Dry, crepe paper-looking skin is a noticeable sign of low estrogen. It’s not harmful, but dry skin can be embarrassing if you’re wearing short sleeves. Apply petroleum jelly to your face, arms, legs, and neck at night. In the morning, your skin will look smoother and feel less dry. Low estrogen also makes your skin thinner. This makes you prone to bruising and discoloration. If you suspect you have low estrogen, talk with your gynecologist about it. They can prescribe hormone replacements to help raise your estrogen to a normal level.

4. Trouble sleeping

So many women experience insomnia because of low estrogen levels. You may fall asleep, wake up four hours later, and lay awake for hours after that. You may want to try an over-the-counter sleep medication. But some of these medications have unwanted side effects. Some women take melatonin, but researchers are still studying the long-term side effects of melatonin. Another natural alternative is taking a calcium magnesium supplement before you go to bed. These combined minerals are natural and will enhance your sleep. Try to avoid certain things that could contribute to your lack of sleep. Follow these sleep habits:

  • Try to go to bed at the same to help your body get into routine.
  • Avoid eating, or drinking too close to your bedtime.
  • Stop using your computer, iPhone or television at least an hour before bedtime.
  • Keep your bedroom dark and cool.
  • Never exercise near bedtime.
  • Don’t take a nap during the day.
  • Don’t drink caffeinated drinks in the afternoon.

5. Infrequent or erratic menstrual cycles

Estrogen is the main hormone that controls your menstrual cycle. When your estrogen is low, it leads to irregular or missed periods. Low estrogen can also prevent ovulation, which leads to infertility and makes getting pregnant difficult. If you notice that your periods are irregular or miss periods a lot, you may be low in estrogen. Your gynecologist can order a blood test to check your hormone levels.

estrogen levels

6. Decreased sexual desire

Low estrogen may be to blame for your decreased sexual desire. It also causes vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, and uncomfortable sex. If you notice a lag in your libido, you could have a hormonal dip in your estrogen levels. Talk with your gynecologist about your lack of sexual desire. They can do a blood test to check your hormone levels. If your estrogen is low, your doctor may prescribe estrogen replacement pills.

Estrogen-boosting foods:

You may want to naturally raise your estrogen levels by adding estrogen-boosting foods to your daily diet, such as

  • Tofu: Tofu is made from soy milk. It’s naturally high in phytoestrogen. It can be sauteed, fried, steamed, and roasted. Add it to dishes for extra protein as well as estrogen.
  • Flax seeds: Another phytoestrogen, flax seeds can be added to soups, salads, or smoothies.
  • Tahini: Made from sesame seeds, tahini is deliciously drizzled on salads, on top of rice, or eaten simply as a dip for pita bread.
  • Edamame: These delicious little soybeans make a great snack, all the while boosting your estrogen levels. Drizzle some olive oil and add a little salt for a healthy snack while you watch television.
  • Hummus: Hummus is made of chickpeas and tahini. Both contain phytoestrogen. Hummus is a delicious dip for veggies or pita.
  • Fresh garlic: Garlic is part of the onion family. It’s a great addition to any dish. It’s packed with isoflavonoids and phytoestrogen.
  • Dried Fruit: Did you know dried apricots, dates, or prunes contain phytoestrogen? Dried apricots are especially high in phytoestrogen, so try eating them as a daily snack.
  • Certain Grains: Flax, wheat, barley, rye, and oats are natural phytoestrogens. When you eat bread made from these whole grains, you get a boost of estrogen.
  • Alfalfa sprouts: These little sprouts contain vitamins C and K. They are also high in phytoestrogen. You can put them on salads or in soups for an extra estrogen boost to your diet.
  • Chocolate: That’s right. When you eat chocolate, you boost your estrogen level. Chocolate is a member of the catechins. This group includes tea, berries, and cocoa. This phytoestrogen also improves your mood and increases your circulation.

Here are 5 ways to increase estrogen levels:

Now that you recognize these symptoms, here are five ways to correct the hormone imbalance.

1. Reduce sugar intake

Consuming high amounts of sugar can result in estrogen (and other hormonal) imbalances. Simply opting for diet soda instead of regular can help balance hormonal levels. The ideal solution is changing to a diet with fewer simple carbohydrates and more whole grains.

2. Develop an exercise routine

Believe it or not, getting regular exercise can aid in correcting hormonal imbalances. Light to moderate exercise is healthy for hormone levels, and has been linked to decreased risk of developing breast cancer. For women with low body fat levels (e.g. athletes), it may be worthwhile to consult a doctor for alternative estrogen therapies.

3. Stop smoking

Well, there are already countless number of reasons not to smoke, but here’s another one. Smoking has been shown to suppress the endocrine system, which makes it more difficult to produce estrogen. How about going to the gym or heading out for a walk instead?

4. Drink coffee (yay!)

It has been shown that women who drink more than two cups of coffee per day may have more estrogen than those who do not. To help reap the benefits of java on your estrogen levels, here are a couple of tips: (1) drink coffee in moderation, no more than two cups, and (2) buy the organic variety to reduce the presence (if any) of pesticides or herbicides.

estrogen levels

5. Get those “phytoestrogens”

Yes, this is an actual word…and may be the most powerful “cure” for low estrogen levels. Phytoestrogens are essentially substitutes for the actual estrogen hormone. As such, they are terrific for reducing the symptoms associated with menopause or low estrogen.

As an added benefit, consuming healthy foods are all one needs to get them. Here some foods high in phytoestrogens: flaxseed, fruits (apricots, cranberries, prunes), herbs (licorice, oregano, sage), legumes (pinto beans, peas), vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower), and whole grains.

9 Spiritual Messages Hummingbirds Are Trying To Send You

When these little birds show up in your life, they symbolize the zest for enjoyment. Hummingbirds eat the nectar of sweetness in life. They are powerful little spiritual messengers.

If you see hummingbirds often, it might mean these nine things:

  1. You need to be more flexible with all the changes in your life. Hummingbirds are erratic, and they shift positions quickly. Do you desire to make changes?
  2. Add extra emotional “sweetness” to your life and play. This bird shows you how to “suck” the joy in all areas of your life.
  3. Express the love you feel to those in your personal circle.
  4. There is magic in the air brought to you via serendipity and synchronicity. Pay attention to repetitive signs.
  5. Buy some flowers. Bring the colors of nature into your home or office. The sight and scent of flowers elevate you to a higher frequency.
  6. When a hummingbird appears near you, they reflect the positive side of life by showing you the joy in small things. It’s important that you honor the small things in life and let go of the heavy toxic ones.
  7. Be more present. Be in the moment. Take time for meditation and contemplation outdoors. Give yourself the gift of quietude.
  8. Your resilience will overcome any obstacles that you are enduring at the moment.
  9. Pay attention to your thoughts on abundance and scarcity. This little powerful animal is a reminder that any shift in your perception creates abundance. You become what you believe.
bumblebees
Do you see bumblebees often? Here is what it could mean.

About the Hummingbird

The hummingbird is tireless in its pursuit of finding sweetness. They appear in our lives to remind us to stay on track for what we want while enjoying the process. Hummingbirds can travel over 2000 miles from Central America to North America every year just to reach their destination. This is also a reminder to pursue your dreams and not allow obstacles to stop you, regardless of the distance. The hummingbird is also a reminder of time and how we perceive it. They are magical in the way they use their wings.

This beautiful small creature also teaches us to detect and use plants for medicinal purposes. We can heal from flowers and herbs. The hummingbird teaches us to be independent in our abilities to trust intuition on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level. They are persistent and courageous in the way they navigate through the seasons. They also teach us to stand up for what we believe. Their erratic flight patterns look invisible as you cannot see their wings moving. This also teaches us to believe in what we cannot see. Hummingbirds are fierce in protecting their territory, bringing awareness of how you protect your surroundings, family, and home.

While observing this delicate bird, you can marvel at the beauty of life and all that is in nature. Make it a conscious choice to be outside and observe the changes of the season. When spring arrives, allow the magic of growth to be part of your internal growth and self-evolution. Winter is over. Hummingbirds remind us that it’s time to go outside and play. Be curious and emerge in childlike wonder.

hummingbird

Final Thoughts on the Messages Hummingbirds Carry to You

Whenever do you see this little colorful bird ask yourself these questions: How are you using your time? What are you doing to find happiness? Are you being authentic to your true nature? Are you entertaining the joy that keeps appearing in your life? Do you feel ready to be more authentic to your purpose? If something is not working out, what do you need to do to make changes swiftly? How do you view abundance? Are you remaining in the present moment? Do you make time to meditate? Are you working too hard and not taking time for entertainment?

Hummingbirds are flexible. They bring with them the spirit of childlike joy and play. They are strong and sensible. When a hummingbird shows up, let it remind you of your strength, tenacity, perseverance, endurance, and all the things you have overcome. Lighten up your mood and shift your perception to the things that matter. Continue moving forward to make changes in all parts of your livelihood, and keep dancing to your own tune.

How Good Are You At Relationships?

Relationships are something that we humans use to connect to each other, which helps us to get our needs met, and when you are good at relationships, you can be happier in your life. But how do you know if you are doing good or bad with your relationship skills in general?

How Good Are You At Relationships?

One way to self-evaluate your relationship skills is to look at past relationships and ask yourself what role you played in the breakup of the partnership. Taking accountability for our faults and seeking to improve on them can be a way to be better at relationships.

Another strategy to know how good you are at relationships is to ask your partner for some feedback. How well do I provide emotional support when you need it? What other needs do you have that I can help you with? Asking deep questions may sound scary, and if you can’t see a way to bring up these questions with your partner, look for a licensed couples counselor who can help you to start a conversation.

Handling Stress and Conflict Well

When you argue, do you see problems as opportunities to learn about your partner and how you can better meet their needs? Do you feel insecure when your and your partner are in a stressful situation, or do you worry about their, or your own, emotional state? Researchers found that couples who had secure attachment styles (not being worried about their own self-worth or fearing abandonment by their partner) showed more ‘physical contact, supportive comments, and efforts to seek and give emotional support’ when researchers put them in a waiting room where they faced a stressful activity, like a screening for a serious health problem, for example.

An argument in a relationship is basically a disagreement over two people’s needs; you want one thing and your partner wants another, but what do you each really need to be happy? A willingness to work toward meeting both of your needs without stepping on the other person’s desires is one way to be good at relationships.

Basically, in a relationship, as in the workplace, you should use your negotiating skills to find a win-win in your relationship arguments. Use the information from your partner to learn more about their likes and dislikes.

Giving Attention

When your partner points out something to you, how often do you turn toward them and give them your attention? The Gottman Institute is credited for identifying one factor that was different between successful relationships that lasted for many years and couples who broke up; turning toward your partner when they make a request for your attention.

Communication and Active Listening

Giving your full attention, communicating your own needs and hearing the needs of your partner are important for people who strive to be good at relationships. Active listening involves silencing distractions and the voice in your head that is waiting for a turn to speak so that you can fully hear your partner.

Emotional Intelligence

How good at you are sensing your partner’s mood and doing something to move them into a more positive state of mind? We have talked about the importance of emotional intelligence in previous articles. The skill of picking up on feelings from your partner is a healthy one that makes you good at relationships, but being able to do something about it makes you even better at them.

Related article: 6 Things You Should Always Expect From Your Partner

When your partner is down, how well do you provide comfort and support? Are you able to make your partner laugh, even when it seems like there is nothing to laugh at? Having strategies that you can use that you know will make your partner feel loved and supported is key to a good relationship.

Self-control and Conscientiousness

Can you hold your tongue when you are frustrated? Do you storm off or withdraw when you are angry or sad? How well you can monitor and control your own emotional state will also lead to behavior control.

People with good self-control are able to break bad personal habits and poor relationship skills before it’s too late. They make choices that are right, not only for themselves, but for their partner rather than acting on impulse.

Related article: 4 Signs Your Partner Is a Perfect Match

Do you know what it means to be conscientious of your partner? Paying attention to the small but important details of your partner’s preferences and important life events and taking action to demonstrate caring is one way in which conscientious partners are good at relationships.

In a study of people skills and relationship satisfaction, researcher found that with high self-control was associated with ‘higher grade point average, better adjustment (fewer reports of psychopathology, higher self-esteem), less binge eating and alcohol abuse, better relationships and interpersonal skills, secure attachment, and more optimal emotional responses.’ The researchers further explain ‘Low self-control is thus a significant risk factor for a broad range of personal and interpersonal problems.’

5 Eating Habits To Avoid Before You Sleep

Feeling tired but can’t sleep? You might not realize that your eating habits could be to blame, as the foods we do (or don’t) eat can mess with our sleep cycles. Some things might seem obvious, like not drinking caffeine or alcohol too close to bed, but other tips might surprise you. Read on to find out what eating habits to avoid before you sleep.

5 Eating Habits You Need To Avoid Before You Sleep

1. Eating dinner too early.

Just like you don’t want to feel too full when you go to sleep, you also don’t want to feel hungry, either. If you eat dinner at 5PM and don’t go to sleep until midnight or later, you might find your stomach growling for more food as you try to fall asleep.

To correct this, just prepare a small snack for yourself before bed, such as a glass of plant-based milk or a small protein shake, as protein will help your body to relax and become sleepy because of the tryptophan present. Try not to make the snack above 250 calories, as you don’t want to feel too full for bedtime. Avoid eating too late, however, as this could cause indigestion and heartburn.

2. Drinking coffee too late in the day.

Did you know it takes six hours for your body to eliminate just half of the caffeine you consume? This means that drinking coffee even six hours before bed can keep you awake at night. Caffeine can also cause anxiety in some people, which can contribute to insomnia. Try to drink your coffee in the morning and early afternoon, and if you have trouble sleeping at night, avoid drinking your afternoon cups of coffee.

3. Having a big dinner.

Ideally, you want to digest your food BEFORE you sleep, as this process can keep you awake at night. If you eat too large a meal before bed, your body will have to work on two processes at once; sleeping and digesting, which takes away from the energy your body needs to sleep. Try to have a bigger breakfast and lunch, and prepare a lighter dinner so that you can fall asleep easier at night.

4. Not eating enough foods that make you sleepy.

Our bodies need both serotonin and melatonin in order to sleep, so consider eating foods with these chemicals in order to get a good night’s rest. Many fruits and vegetables contain these chemicals, and you could even make a smoothie containing tart cherry juice concentrate, bananas, kiwis, and ice. Bananas contain magnesium and potassium, which help induce sleep, tart cherry juice concentrate can help increase melatonin (which also aids in sleep), and kiwis raise serotonin levels in the body. Serotonin does not make you sleepy, but it can calm you down before bed.

Related article: Doing This ONE Thing Makes It Easy To Eat Healthy

5. Eating dairy before bed

Consuming high-fat dairy products before bed could disrupt your sleep, according to new research published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine. Low-fiber, high-fat, high-sugar diets have been found to negatively impact how deep you sleep. High-fat foods can also take longer to digest, which means your body will once again have to use tons of energy to move the foods through your system while you try to get some shut-eye.
“Fat leaves the stomach last, after proteins and carbohydrates, so avoiding foods rich in fat close to bedtime is a smart choice,” says registered dietitian Lisa Stollman, RD.

Need some tips for a better night’s sleep? Here are a few that can help you to get more shut-eye.

  • Keep your room dark, cool, and free from distractions. Turn off electronics a couple hours before bedtime, and do activities such as reading a book or meditating to get you sleepy. Turn off all artificial lights at least a couple hours before bedtime as well, since these lights can disrupt melatonin levels.
  • Don’t drink too much water before bed, as this can keep you up all hours of the night running to the bathroom.
  • Try relaxation techniques before bed, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises in order to calm your mind for bedtime.
  • Most importantly, remember that you deserve to sleep and eat well in order to fuel your mind, body, and spirit, so don’t sabotage your sleep!

The Best Way to Deal With Close Minded People: 5 Responses

Closed-minded people are judgmental, opinionated, and full of criticism. There is an inspirational quote going through the Internet that says, “The problem with closed-minded people, is that their mouth is always open.” These people have an answer to everything without ever participating in a true solution. They have no idea what anyone is going through with challenges and obstacles. They open up their mouths and give way to uneducated and obnoxious ideas. They’re ignorant, self-righteous, and demanding. And, they know no wrongdoing.

How do you deal with a closed-minded person?

Unfortunately, closed-minded people are everywhere. It may be your uncle, sister, cousin, boss, or distant family friend. Often we think that we must tread lightly when we are dealing with close-minded people. This is not the case. You may not be able to escape their attitude, but you can get clever with how to respond to their words. Closed-minded people are usually driven by fear. How we react is based on our own resistance.

Here are 5 ways to respond to closed-minded people

1. DO NOT SHARE PERSONAL THINGS WITH THEM.

Inspirational author Steve Pavlina shares ideas from his book “Personal Development for Smart People” on how to deal with the toxic arrogance that happens with closed-minded people. “When you encounter people who are very close-minded, you’ll often find yourself becoming resistant to the other person’s position. You think the problem lies with the other person, but if you define it that way, you’ll beat your head against the wall in frustration. The real source of your frustration is your own resistance, not the other person.”

So in view of his research and findings, the best way to deal with such behavior is by not sharing personal information. If you already know what triggers the person to judge and criticize, stay off the subjects. Try to deflect by smiling and thanking them for their wisdom!

2. LET THEM KNOW YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR PERMISSION.

We give power to closed-minded individuals when we ask them for opinions and permission. Don’t ask for advice if you know what you are up against. Sometimes when we speak, we don’t realize how things are misinterpreted, so perhaps you were just needing confirmation on a subject. But you didn’t ask their permission. Be aware of how you phrase things. That person will come at you with their beliefs. And, in that moment, you will realize that this is not what you meant to do or say. The best way to overcome this is by answering, “Let’s agree to disagree since I really wasn’t asking your permission.” And then walk away because their ego will always control their mouth.

3. BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL.

Some narrow-minded people are like skunks. You can smell them before even seeing them. When a subject comes up that the close-minded individual starts to bulldoze over, make sure you let them know that you will not tolerate it. Let them know straight away that their opinion stinks. This may hurt that person but it will also stop future arguments. No one wants to be humiliated. You are putting barricades up before the skunk can sneak into your place. You can tell them that “it’s not up for discussion.”

4. MAINTAIN A POSITIVE OUTLOOK NO MATTER WHAT.

Closed-minded people are not optimists. They see the world through fear and anxiety. They judge because of ignorance and differences. A way to disarm them is to stay positive. Whatever they say, try and spin it with sunshine. They don’t know what to do with it. Their world is full of pessimism. Sing them a child’s catchy Disney tune. You are not mocking them, you are shutting them up. They already think you are crazy, so step onto the stage. Nothing stops them from irrational behavior more than unpredictable actions.

Related article: 9 Comebacks For Dealing With Rude People

5. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

Sometimes it’s easier said than done. When we are passionate about a subject matter, we become the subject. Recognize that negative close minded folks can’t see the other side of the coin. They are reacting to their judgments and ideas. Perhaps they aren’t educated on the discussion. They are repeating what they have heard on the news or through other groups similar to them. When you step back, recognize that you have an opportunity to educate this person. Don’t take on the judgment as an attack. Take it as an advantage and a chance to teach someone a new point of view lovingly. Even those who are close-minded may have a point that you can learn from as well.

We all have diverse views and ideas. Opened-minded people know how to handle these behaviors. They are also open in their convictions that not everyone thinks the same. This doesn’t mean you have to tolerate abuse, nasty behaviors, or disrespect. It just means you don’t have to accept every judgment and criticism. We learn from each other. We don’t have to participate in every argument to make a point.

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