How To Tell If A Cheater Has Changed

June 18, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The betrayal of a partner who is a cheater can devastate a relationship. However, it is possible for a person to change their cheating behavior. These six signs can tell you if they have changed.

Romantic relationships are built mainly on trust. So cheating and going outside of the relationship bond violates the faith that the two partners had for each other. Rebuilding trust is difficult. But it takes time, effort, and forgiveness of the betrayed partner.

For those not currently in a relationship, deciding whether or not to date a cheater who has a reputation can be tricky. Can a cheater change their roaming ways and become your one-and-only? Or by dating a cheater, are you likely to find out how it feels to be cheated on?

6 Signs A Cheater Has Changed

1. The flirtations are gone

Instead of trying to catch the eye of every available person who might notice them, you see them stop vying for others’ attention. Conversely, they seek your approval. You might notice something as simple as fewer selfies without you and more shots of the two of you. This behavior is one of the slightest nuances that can create the most significant differences.

If a cheating partner has changed, the behavior difference should be clear. You no longer feel threatened by their behavior toward other potential romantic partners.

2. They make you feel secure

You’ve noticed them actively seek physical touch in public. For example, they like holding your hand to show everyone that you (and they) are off the market. If a cheater has changed, they take responsibility for you as their soul mate. Additionally, they show their care by physically, financially, and emotionally taking care of your needs.

3. You are open about the cheating behavior and what triggered it

Talking about the betrayal may be hurtful, but getting out all of the details might be best, especially if you uncover triggers that may cause your cheating partner to be likely to feel the need for attention from another person again.

When one partner feels unappreciated, unheard, or mistreated, they may seek another person who can give them the tenderness they crave. Ask your cheater how they felt before they cheated so you can identify the emotional triggers for cheating.

For example, if your partner says they felt neglected, tell them several specific things you will do to ensure they don’t feel neglected. Also, ask your partner to commit to telling you if they feel that way again or if they have thought about cheating.

4. They make plans for you as a couple

Plans don’t have to mean marriage. But even planning a trip for the both of you for six months from now gives you some sense of hopefulness for your future as a couple who conquered cheating.

When your partner focuses on creating a happy future, you feel more secure in your relationship, knowing that you are being planned for. When you have a close, committed relationship, you and your partner have future-focused items like a living will, life insurance, and other legal and financial aids that protect your domestic partner and yourself.

5. They have asked for forgiveness

The act of asking for forgiveness opens the door to healing in a relationship after cheating. Whether it was an emotional attachment or a sexual one, when the partner who did the affair asks for your forgiveness, they admit that they know their behavior was wrong.

North American Journal of Psychology researchers who studied forgiveness and cheating say, ‘People are more likely to forgive their partners when they are committed to and satisfied with their relationships.’ They also say ‘forgiveness was most likely when cheating was an isolated incident and when the partner offered an apology.’ If you haven’t gotten an apology, ask your partner for one.

6. There is a new level of emotional openness

A cheating partner who can now be vulnerable around you is a cheater who has changed. Emotional cheating happens when a partner leaves the relationship to burden another person they feel will listen. Feel secure about your partner if they have opened themselves up to you and told you intimate things that they couldn’t tell anyone else.

Ask your partner about their opinion of infidelity in a relationship and whether monogamy is something they feel comfortable with now. The reason for the question is that your partner’s attitude toward cheating can predict how likely they are to cheat again. Researchers studying why cheating happens in a Marquette University study say ‘individuals who hold more permissive attitudes toward adultery and uncommitted sexual relationships are more likely to engage in adulterous acts.’

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7 Things You Don’t Need To Stress About (Even If You Think You Do)

June 18, 2016 by Power of Positivity

In life, it already seems like we have enough to stress about, so why add to it? Unfortunately, many people simply care about things that don’t matter as much, and turn their cheek toward things they actually SHOULD focus on. We tend to overthink things so much that it becomes an obsession, such as worrying about what others think of us, how our hair looks, or how much money we have in the bank. Then, life becomes a constant wave of stress instead of the fun-filled playground that it could be. So, at what point to we decide to stop stressing about things that don’t matter, and start caring about the things that do? When will we let go of worry and fear, and embrace love and happiness?

Our hope here is that this will help clear things up and encourage you to rid your mind of a few of these potential stressors. In turn, you will make life easier for yourself.

7 Things You Don’t Need To Stress About (Even If You Think You Do)

1. What others think of you.

We often live in a prison of what others think of us. The next time you worry about someone else’s opinion of you, remember that only yours truly matters. No one can take away self-confidence, self-love, and self-care, so make sure to work on these things continually. Love happens within, and once you have cultivated this, then you won’t feel so hurt or disappointed when someone else doesn’t like you. You have to live with you for the rest of your life, so wouldn’t it make sense that you should only care about your opinion of yourself?

If others don’t like you, then they can exit your life whenever they please, but you can’t. Stop stressing about what other people think, and start caring about what YOU think of yourself.

2. How much money you have.

Contrary to what many people think, more money will not equate to more happiness. Studies have shown that money makes a difference when it means living in a home versus having to live on the streets, but beyond our basic needs, having more money won’t make us happier. So, stop stressing about how much money you have in your bank account, and start caring more about living for today, and feeling grateful for what you already have.

3. Your mistakes.

At some point, we have to just forgive ourselves for the past and move on. Dwelling on past experiences will not alter them or make you feel any better about the situations you put yourself in. You have to remember that every mistake allowed you to grow and learn, so look at your mistakes as blessings in disguise. Stop beating yourself up for your mistakes, and start embracing them as vital life experiences that helped you get to where you are now.

4. Fitting in.

Keeping up with the Joneses,’ meeting the status quo, and finding our place in this world have been drilled into us for so long now, we’ve almost started to believe in the importance of fitting in. However, going along with the crowd almost never results in true happiness. Following your heart, your true bliss, and what you came here to do, however, will surely lead you down a better road.

Fitting in means nothing if you don’t feel happy doing so, so remember to not get caught up in trying to look a certain way to society, or belong to a group. All that matters is that you feel fulfilled by whatever path you choose in life.

5. Looking “perfect.”

The perfect body doesn’t exist, so stop trying to mold yours into what society tells you it must look like. We all have unique physical appearances, and while you can always try to improve your physical fitness, this should have more to do with your health rather than your looks. Give up the mass media image of what it means to have a perfect body, and start embracing yourself as you are now.

Related Article: 18 Pictures That Show How Beauty Is Viewed In Different Countries

6. Pleasing others.

People-pleasing might make you some friends, but it won’t make you any good ones. When you bend over backwards to please others, you will inevitably attract the wrong kinds of people who just want to take advantage of you. Learn how to love yourself and listen to your own needs, and keep friends who don’t try to walk all over you.

7. Letting go of those who hurt you.

Finally, you shouldn’t stress about letting those go who no longer fit into picture of you becoming your best self. Maybe you both have taken different paths in life, and just need a break from one another. People come and go from our lives all the time, but never feel sorry for letting someone go who no longer helped you grow.

What Does Your “Birth Day” Reveal About Your Personality?

June 18, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The day of the week that you were born on can tell you a lot more about your personality style than you knew before. With seven days of the week, there are seven unique different personality types out there in the world. What does the day that you were born on say about you?

According to scholars, the origin for the common names for the days of the week and their association with planets is around the first century B.C.E. The days of the week are named for ancient Norse and Roman gods, who are associated with planets and certain personality traits as well.

According to the director of the observatory at Hartwick college in New York, starting with Sunday, the days of the week are named after planets as follows: ‘Sun’s day, Moon’s day, Mercury’s day, Mars’s day, Jupiter’s day, Venus’s day and Saturn’s day.’ Sunday, Monday and Saturday all seem easy to understand the naming scheme. The other days of the week are less obvious, but the observatory says that the Norse gods they are named after are ‘Tuesday or Tiw’s day, Wednesday or Woden’s day, Thursday or Thor’s day, Friday or Frie’s day.’

These Norse gods that the weekdays are named for also relate to Roman gods ‘Tiw is the Norse god which corresponds to the Roman god Mars, Woden is the Norse god of war corresponding to the Roman Mercury, and Frie is the Norse god of love, similar to the Roman god Venus.’

Not sure what day of the week you were born on? All you need is your birth date and this link to calculate what day of the week you were born on. Use this link to an easy day of the week calculator.