10 Words To Never Say On A First Date

June 3, 2016 by Power of Positivity

You are on a first date. Everything is going well and suddenly you learn all about your date’s exes, medical background and their emotional roller coaster of a break-up. You have yet to learn something of value about your date, but you have passed the point of TMI and beyond. In a study by the State University of New York at Stony Brook, Arthur Aron researched individuals in new relationships and what brings them closer to establishing other dates. He asked about the subject matters that were great in creating unique dates. Certain controversial topics aid in the process of getting to know each other. When you avoid certain words, and start to share personal views, experiences, and opinions, the interest increases. There are certain words that should be avoided that create doubt, fear, and instability.

Here are 10 words to never say on a first date if you want a second one:

1. Maybe.

This word sounds like someone who has the inability to be decisive. “Maybe” leaves a lot open for suggestions. When you hear someone on a first date answer with “maybe’s” it’s as if they aren’t sure of what they want. You probably want someone who is sure of what they want out of life, or has some nice goal-oriented ideas.

2. Break-up.

No one really wants to hear about your break-ups. They don’t want to hear how horrible the experience was and how you got here. In many cases, you feel as if you are the rebound individual that will pay for that previous relationship. It’s best to just leave the who drama of the past out of the first few dates. Your date definitely does not want to hear about your heartbreaks.

3. Ex.

Exes are past experiences. Leave them in the past. Don’t go around sharing on your first date about what your ex did or didn’t do. Don’t share how you went to the same restaurant. Too much comparison lets your date know that you aren’t ready to move on. You are trying to establish a healthy impression, so bringing up the exes in no way gives you brownie points.

4. Googled.

Being told that you were Googled is a little unnerving. Are you a hacker? Are you obsessive? Research being done before you get to a date is fine, but don’t share it so openly on your first date. Yes, in no way do you want to date a sociopath, but the idea is you made it to the date and that type of sharing doesn’t always go well. No one wants to know that you’ve checked their credit score!

5. PMS.

We’ve come a long way in our society, however hearing about your menstrual cycle is still a no-no on first dates. Men are still a bit squeamish about a woman’s reproductive system. This is one of those words that is too much information on first, second and third dates.

6. Debt.

Money is a very private matter and shouldn’t be discussed on first dates. And, when you over share about your debt, well that’s a disaster in the making. Debt says a lot about you. If that person doesn’t know you, it will create judgment about how you take care of your personal life. It’s best never to bring up what you owe or don’t owe on a first date. It’s also wise not to start asking anyone questions about their salary, expenses or finances in general.

7. Kids.

If you don’t have kids yet and start a date asking how many kids your date wants without even having your first kiss, most likely you will be seen as psychotic. No one wants to feel that they are participating in plan parenthood on the first date. It’s hard to establish comfort and humor on first impressions. Bringing up the subject of a future baby is pure tension.

8. Single.

You are on a date, but you share that you enjoy being single. You are having a blast as a single person. Why bother to plan for a second date. Most certainly your date will see that you don’t need anyone in your life. Continue to enjoy the single life!

9. Diet.

You go out to eat on a date and you start mentioning about your weight and diet. Weight fluctuations and body image is always an uncomfortable subject. There is a time and place to discuss nutrition and its benefits, and it isn’t on your first date, unless you are dating someone who is indeed a personal trainer or a nutritionist.

10. Therapist.

We all go through emotional issues in life. We have been brokenhearted and have returned to normal equilibrium, but to share your therapy sessions on your first date is a turn off. Your emotional stability will be in question. For the most part it will be a rejection. You don’t want to end up the subject of conversation to that person’s therapist, but you will when you don’t call for a second date.

We place a bunch of unnatural expectations when we meet someone for the first time. Find subjects that interest you and call for great intellectual conversations. You get to decide how much you want from this person by showing up and sharing the best parts of you. Dating is difficult, so avoid the negative parts and make it a memorable evening.

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.” ~ Mandy Hale,The Single Woman: Life, Love and a Dash of Sass

Doctors Explain How Laughing Literally Changes Your Health

June 3, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Smiling, joking, and giggling; some of our most joyful moments can be explained by how laughter affects our health. Some people have loud, contagious laughs, some snort, and some titter daintily and cover their mouths.

In the body, laughter is nothing more than a repeated contraction of the diaphragm, located below the lungs. You might laugh at a joke or a funny memory or watching someone fall down on a funny video. These are external stimuli that cause you to react with humor.

Doctors Explain How Laughing Can Change Your Health

Sometimes laughter is something we accidentally do. We have the ability to engage in both voluntary and involuntary laughter. Involuntary laughter is emotionally driven and can come even when we are feeling fear or anger. Involuntary laughter has also been called nervous laughter.

The act of laughing can change your mood quickly, which is one of the ways that doctors explain how laughing can change your health. Negative moods can be changed to positive ones, which are better for our health.

1. Reducing the impact of pain

Cancer Treatment Centers of America uses laughter therapy for their patients who are undergoing treatment for cancer. They explain the therapy and its effectiveness this way:

‘For years, the use of humor has been used in medicine. Surgeons used humor to distract patients from pain as early as the 13th century. Later, in the 20th century, came the scientific study of the effect of humor on physical wellness. Many credit this to Norman Cousins. After years of prolonged pain from a serious illness, Cousins claims to have cured himself with a self-invented regimen of laughter and vitamins. In his 1979 book Anatomy of an Illness, Cousins describes how watching comedic movies helped him recover.’

Laugher is a good diversion because patients are unable to focus on their pain while they experience laughter therapy. The positive feelings that laughter gives to cancer patients can last for hours.

2. Heart and blood vessel health

Researchers studying the effects that laughter has on our health say that laughing has beneficial effects on blood pressure and vascular tone. They also say that endorphins are released by the pituitary gland when we laugh.

The endorphins activate opiate receptors that in turn produce nitric oxide. Nitric oxide helps protect the heart cells and it is also responsible for opening the blood vessels.

The nitric oxide produced as a byproduct of laughing can change your health by reducing the accumulation of plaque in artery walls that can lead to heart attack and stroke. Researchers also found that laughing reduced vascular inflammation. The scientists say ‘Mirthful laughter may serve as a useful and important vehicle for the promotion of vascular health.’

3. Improves mental health

Depression, anxiety, and frustration are all negative emotions that have been helped by laughter. If you find yourself experiencing a negative emotion, try laughing off the situation or even laugh at your own reaction. The less you can hang on to negative emotions, the less mental and emotional stress you will have, which is another way that doctors explain how laughing can change your health.

4. Promotes social well-being

People rarely laugh when alone so it seems that in order to get some good laughs, you will need to seek the company of some good-humored friends. Laughter can improve your romantic relationships as well because it indices good feelings which we associate with the person we are laughing with.

The social nature of laughter means that we are connecting positively to others when we laugh. Meaningful connections with other people are important to complete our total health and happy well-being.

4. Improves immune health

As we have already mentioned, laughter helps with inflammation in the blood vessels. Inflammatory diseases are becoming more widely studied. It is possible that if laughter can be shown to reduce inflammation in blood vessels, it could help with other inflammatory diseases.

Laughing can change your health in other ways that improve your immune health. Research has shown that watching comedy movies can increase the blood levels of interferon-gamma in the male participants in the study.

Interferons are signaling proteins in the body and they are produced to fight off illness. Viruses in particular are susceptible to being killed by the immune-boosting power of interferons. They help the body to activate a host of immune system fighters like macrophages and natural killer cells and they assist in the production of antigens.

Researchers say ‘Interferons have become a line of pharmacotherapy in viral infections, systemic carcinomas, hepatitis B and C, in addition to the development of antiretroviral drugs.’ While a doctor can prescribe a medication to fight your illness, and you should see one if you have health concerns, laughing with friends is an alternative solution to change your health for the better.

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

7 Messages From Your Higher Self You Should Never Ignore

June 3, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Our higher self, intuition, or whatever you prefer to call it, wants us to know certain things in life in order to comfort, guide, and illuminate us in the best possible way. Many people have started awakening to their higher selves recently as the Golden Age continues to unfold, and they’ve started to question everything they once perceived as truth. We can gain access to our higher selves through meditation, yoga, or simply sitting in silence, to name a few ways.

The higher self reveals many truths that we may not have recognized before, so the next time you tune into yourself, remember the following things.

7 Things Your Higher Self Wants You To Know

1. Don’t forget to love yourself, always.

Loving ourselves opens the door to pretty much everything else in life. If you don’t cultivate self-love, you will have nothing left to share with others, and nothing left to give yourself. If you want to develop positive relationships with others, you must first fill your cup with love so you can attract others who also have their self-love glasses full. Loving yourself doesn’t have to mean acting selfish and being self-absorbed; in fact, loving ourselves is actually selfless, because without this, we would have no energy to help change the world in a positive way.

Your higher self wants you to always love yourself, no matter what happens in life.

2. Meditate as much as you can!

Many studies have proven just how much meditation can heal your life, as well as connect you to your higher self! So, if you have just five or ten minutes in the morning before work, or in the evening before bed, make it a point to tune into your inner world and just notice the awareness and bliss that you feel from this. Meditation doesn’t require anything except your full presence, and willingness to accept whatever comes up during your practice. We connect the best to our higher selves and otherworldly realms during times of peace and quiet, so don’t forget to meditate whenever you have free time; your soul will thank you greatly.

3. You deserve the best in life in every situation.

We often put ourselves in situations we don’t really want to participate in, for whatever reason. Maybe we want to gain acceptance, or not cause a scene, or try to fit in, or something. In reality, though, if you don’t honor your highest self and do what’s best for your soul every day, you are living out of accordance with your true essence. Make sure you tune into your higher self often to figure out what you need in any given moment.

4. You have special gifts.

Never think that you’re anything less than extraordinary. Although mainstream society seems to put people into boxes and encourage the herd mentality, never give up on what makes you unique. Your highest self wants you to explore all of your talents and gifts, and never surrender to “normal,” no matter how easy it seems to do so. Taking the path less traveled may not result in popularity, fame, or wealth, but it will always result in a happy heart and soul, which matters much more in life.

5. Don’t forget to make time to play!

We have made life so serious that it hurts sometimes. Sure, we have bills to pay, and of course, we have responsibilities to tend to. However, why do children seem to make playtime a priority, and adults make it an option? Nothing in life should ever get in the way of what makes your soul happy, so if you have to schedule playtime in, do it! All work and no play make for a dull, unhappy existence, so enjoy your time here while you can.

6. Turn the negatives into positives.

We can’t get anywhere in life by being negative, so remember to always see the good in any situation. Your higher self wants you to know that you always have guidance and protection, and to not allow yourself to dwell too long in negativity. It will eat away at your soul, so try to remain positive even when it seems difficult.

7. Live and let live.

Sometimes, things just won’t go our way. People will hurt us, we might lose our job, or a relationship may end unexpectedly, but this doesn’t mean we should harbor negative feelings or hold a grudge simply because we didn’t get what we wanted. Life doesn’t give you what you want; it gives you what you need, so try to look at it from the perspective that everything that happens to you will help your higher self in the long run.

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Signs Your Partner Is Falling Out Of Love

June 3, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Something is different about the way your partner is acting lately and it has you worried that they might be falling out of love. The signs of a change of heart are easy to see once you look back at the ruins of a past relationship, but seeing them before it’s too late is more challenging.

No one wants to be blindsided when a relationship ends. Being dumped is psychologically traumatic and can set you back emotionally.

Falling in love is so much more fun than falling out of love, so let’s hope that’s not what your partner is feeling. Here are 5 signs that your partner is falling out of love with you, and how you might be able to save your relationship.

5 Signs Your Partner Is Falling Out of Love

Humans like to think that we are a monogamous species, but we rarely bond with a single mate for life. Still, the romantic ideal of the one true love is something we yearn for. Scientists look at our ability to make and break relationships as an evolutionary tool.

A study in the Review of General Psychology found that ‘because romantic love is a species-typical trait, all members of the human species may come equipped with the mental hardware for both falling in love as well as for ending a relationship.’

They believe that we may have evolved with the ability to fall in and out of love to find the best mates to reproduce with. Being able to fall out of love means that we can keep looking for the best genetic partner to have children with.

1. Less time spent together having fun

Sure your partner spends time with you, but when they are having fun, it is with other people, not you. You spend time together sleeping, eating, and doing chores, not playtime.

Make it a priority to schedule fun time with your partner. Work to make them laugh and do what they love doing. If you can make your partner smile, you are doing great at trying to keep them from falling out of love.

2. Not sharing emotions

You have no idea if your partner is upset, depressed or worried because he or she will never open up to you about their emotions. If your partner leaves you guessing about their feelings, it’s a sign they may be falling out of love with you.

Emotional cheating often happens before physical cheating does. Being available to your partner as a counselor to help them work through their emotions will help to keep them from seeking someone who will listen.

Researchers who study people falling out of love call it ‘mate ejection,’ like ejecting a disk from a computer drive. They say that stereotypically, ‘males are expected to initiate mate ejection in response to their partner’s sexual infidelity. Women are expected to initiate mate ejection in response to emotional infidelity.’

3. Less touching than before

Physical connection is one of the most important parts of a loving relationship because it’s what makes an intimate partnership intimate. Changes in the amount of kissing, hugging, fondling, etc., and not in the positive direction, are a sign that your partner is falling out of love.

4. Your partner is doing something new or different

Change is bad when you suspect your partner is falling out of love. Change could mean someone else. Instead of waiting around, you can act if your partner shows this sign.

Weight change, appearance change, and hobby changes are all bad signs. When one partner is considering a breakup, they often find a replacement partner before ending the relationship. Behavior changes mean they are trying to please a new romantic partner.

They never used to care about sci-fi, and now they’re attending ComicCon. They’ve never worn plaid before, and now they look Scottish. Significant behavior changes are concerning because your partner is changing to like the things their new romantic partner likes.

5. You talk less than you used to

Your partner used to ask you about your day, but now they don’t seem to be able to care enough to ask you. When we care, we ask questions because we like knowing about our partner. It’s a sign that your partner is falling out of love if they aren’t asking questions.

If this sign has you worried, try asking your partner about their day. Don’t talk about yourself at all. Instead, ask many questions and be as fascinated by what your partner says as possible.

Most people want not just to be heard but to be understood fully and deeply. Giving your partner this connection is one possible way to keep them from falling out of love.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing When Your Partner Might Fall Out of Love With You

Knowing these signs can help you remedy the situation when your relationship is slipping away from you. If you want to work on the relationship, it is time to have an honest conversation, reset relationship expectations, and work out your issues. See a relationship counselor if you need professional help to repair the rift in your love.

Doctors Explain How Choosing Your Words Actually Changes Your Brain

June 3, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Words have extreme power, and how you use them shapes other people’s opinions of you, as well as how you feel personally. The words we choose can either deplete our energy stores, or boost them, but most people don’t realize the importance of the vocabulary they use. We often say things without really thinking them through, and just blurt out what comes to mind first. However, words carry energy with them, so if we choose too many negative words, it can actually end up changing our brains, and not in a good way.

However, carefully choosing our words and becoming more mindful of what we say can rewire our brains in a positive way. You might be thinking, “Words don’t matter THAT much. My choice of words can’t really change my brain, can they?” Well, the answer might surprise you.

Doctors Explain How Choosing Your Words Can Literally Change Your Brain

Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist at Thomas Jefferson University, and Mark Robert Waldman, a communications expert, wrote a life-changing book together called “Words Can Change Your Brain.” In this book, they wrote that“a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.”

Using positive, uplifting words like “love” and “peace” in our everyday lives can literally change pathways in our brains by boosting our cognitive reasoning and making areas of the frontal lobes more effective. Using positive words in place of negative words can give you the energy and motivation to start taking charge in life, and will give you more control over yourself and your choices.

However, when we use negative words, we activate the fear response in our brains, which increases levels of cortisol and other stress hormones. Although all of us have primitive instincts to protect us and help us survive in dangerous situations, using excessive negative language will only cause us to worry unnecessarily.

Furthermore, when we repeat negative thoughts over and over in our brains, the activity levels increase in our brain’s fear center (the amygdala). As a result, stress hormones begin to take over our bodies, which explains why we feel on edge and anxious when exposed to too much negativity. While we need some level of stress and fear in order to survive, having TOO much of these can cause negative impacts on our mental and physical health. Newberg and Waldman write, “Angry words send alarm messages through the brain, and they partially shut down the logic-and-reasoning centers located in the frontal lobes.”

This excerpt from the book explains how positive thoughts can transform our brains, and our lives:

“By holding a positive and optimistic [word] in your mind, you stimulate frontal lobe activity. This area includes specific language centers that connect directly to the motor cortex responsible for moving you into action. And as our research has shown, the longer you concentrate on positive words, the more you begin to affect other areas of the brain.

Functions in the parietal lobe start to change, which changes your perception of yourself and the people you interact with. A positive view of yourself will bias you toward seeing the good in others, whereas a negative self-image will include you toward suspicion and doubt. Over time the structure of your thalamus will also change in response to your conscious words, thoughts, and feelings, and we believe that the thalamic changes affect the way in which you perceive reality.”

A study performed about positive psychology provides further evidence that using uplifting language can rewire your brain and thought processes. A group of adults aged 35-54 had to write down three positive things that happened during their day, and why they chose those things. The following three months revealed that they felt increasingly happier, and much less depressed. This small study shows that we can indeed rewire our brains by focusing our attention on what goes right in our lives, and not letting what goes wrong affect us so much.

So, what types of words do you use most often – negative or positive?

If you don’t know for sure, start paying attention to the words you use frequently, and write them down if you have to. Then, you can begin to see where patterns emerge in your thought processes, and change them if you need to. We all must grow and adapt during this lifetime, and changing how we speak can actually change our lives if we simply become more mindful and aware.

Believing This ONE Thing Makes Women Happier In Relationships

June 2, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Women in a committed relationship can be happier if they believe this one thing that recent research shows will help. Women in a long-term relationship have not been studied as much as women who are single. Researchers recently discovered this information that can help women to be more happy and satisfied with their partner.

Believing This ONE Thing Makes Women Happier In Relationships

The stereotype of single men is that they want sex frequently and they are likely to be attentive to any signals that women are interested in them. Although this certainly seems true, less is known about how men and women pick up on cues for sex when they are in long-term relationships.

For women in a long-term committed relationship, your men seem to think that you want sex less often than you really do. And men, your women want sex more often, even if you don’t think they don’t. Or at least that’s what researchers have found out by looking at happiness in relationships and frequency of sex.

The mind is a powerful thing, and women who can convince themselves that their partners feel this way will be more likely to be happy. Desire is often equated with love and happiness. Women who desire their partners are happy in their relationships and vice versa for men.

In pop culture, the expression of desire for a partner is equated with romantic love. In a study in the journal Personal Relationships, both women and men associated sexual desire with romantic love. Believing that your partner desires you makes you feel desirable and happy.

Researchers show how a single belief about your relationship can make you happier

Researchers in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology studied the happiness of women in a relationship and found some interesting findings. Their research uncovered a previously unexplored topic about relationship happiness.

The scientists say that although men tend to believe that women are more interested in them sexually than they really are, ‘No research currently exists on how people perceive their romantic partner’s sexual desire in the context of ongoing, intimate relationships.’ Strange, but it’s true. How do you know if your partner knows that you are interested in sex? How can your partner tell that you are interested?

Does your partner’s level of interest in sex and yours have to be the same in order for you to feel happy in a committed relationship?

The researchers found ‘evidence that men in established romantic relationships err in the direction of the opposite bias and underperceive their romantic partner’s sexual desire.‘ In other words, instead of assuming that their mate wanted them more often than their mate truly did, they thought that she was less receptive to sexual advances than she actually was.

The scientists believe that men choose to think that their women want sex less often in order to convince themselves that she is satisfied with the current frequency of sex that he is providing.

They also believe that if a man doesn’t want to feel rejected by his partner, he chooses to believe that she isn’t interested in sex. So it is helpful for men to assume that their partner is not interested in sex because then she will not reject him and his self-esteem is protected from the rejection.

Why are women happier when they believe this one thing about their relationship?

It doesn’t make sense then that women seem to want more sex than their male partners think they do (so they are less sexually satisfied), but the research shows that they are happy.

One reason for women being happier when their partners think that they don’t want sex is that the men are more likely to put in effort to romance their partners for sex if they think they aren’t interested. Buying flowers, showing off your dance skills at a club, or taking her for a nice dinner are the types of dating behaviors that can fade in a long-term relationship.

When men believe that their women want sex less often, they also believe that they have to work harder to get sex. The extra effort that men make to entice their partners into sex translates into making women happier in their relationship.

The result of these behaviors is that both men and women fool themselves by choosing to believe something that is not true about their partner and this leads to greater happiness for women in their long-term committed relationship.

The results of this study are surprising and not necessarily true for all women. Women who enjoy typical romantic activities are happier believing that their partners want sex less often than they do and are happier giving them sex less frequently so they have to romance them to get it.

All of this pretending might make you wonder why men and women aren’t just honest about their level of desire and having more sex. You don’t need anyone’s permission to be honest about your needs. Just ask.

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10 Words To Never Say On A First Date

Here are 10 words to never say on a first date if you want a second one:

1. Maybe.

2. Break-up.

3. Ex.

4. Googled.

5. PMS.

6. Debt.

7. Kids.

8. Single.

9. Diet.

10. Therapist.

Doctors Explain How Laughing Can Change Your Health

1. Reducing the impact of pain

2. Heart and blood vessel health

3. Improves mental health

4. Promotes social well-being

4. Improves immune health

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

7 Things Your Higher Self Wants You To Know

1. Don’t forget to love yourself, always.

2. Meditate as much as you can!

3. You deserve the best in life in every situation.

4. You have special gifts.

5. Don’t forget to make time to play!

6. Turn the negatives into positives.

7. Live and let live.

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Signs Your Partner Is Falling Out of Love

1. Less time spent together having fun

2. Not sharing emotions

3. Less touching than before

4. Your partner is doing something new or different

5. You talk less than you used to

Final Thoughts on Recognizing When Your Partner Might Fall Out of Love With You

Doctors Explain How Choosing Your Words Can Literally Change Your Brain

Believing This ONE Thing Makes Women Happier In Relationships

Researchers show how a single belief about your relationship can make you happier

Why are women happier when they believe this one thing about their relationship?

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

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